This man's story touched my heart, I want to send him a compassionate hug from a distance for the horror of his mission experience. I am a lifelong, generational, liberal atheist, I never knew that the anti-LGBTQ propaganda is rooted in fear, I had no idea, I never thought that I could feel compassion for religious bigots, by I felt compassion for him, it must have been a nightmare living in fear expecting at any moment that the world will come crushing down on you for the "sins" of other people he was indoctrinated to hate. He presented his position with remarkable vulnerability, I could see a scared man and not just a hater. Thank you very much for sharing and widening my understanding of people.
@ВоробьёваАлиса-я4э the root cause of anti-LGBTQ rhetoric is their belief that sexual relations between anyone but a man and woman married to each other is a sin next to murder. And this reality has the Milennials and Gen-Z in the Church very conflicted.
I know Ryan very well. I was a business partner with him in 2009 2010. He is a sincere human and these stories are not things he shared years ago and I have so much empathy for him and so happy to see how Scout grew up. She was 5 when we used to hang out.
Wow ! I am so grateful to TH-cam for puttting this in my play list . I am an ex JW . I am still in the process of waking up and trying preserve my relationship with my mum and siblings . I have watched 100's of exjw videos , which have really helped my deconstruction . But this has been so helpful in a completely different way . I have lost all my faith in a God . Listening to Scout was beautiful , and has given me a lot to think about .
When you see the ‘Made/by Man/ religions of the 1800’s they run the same manipulation, to coerce unsuspecting vulnerable people to join and the Guilt& Fear is NOT pure worship. Never has been, never will be includes the Roman Catholic & Protestants!
The difference between this podcast episode and the last one could not be more clear. These two show such profound respect and love not only for others but for themselves. The tenderness with which they treat their faith, their thoughts and their concerns shows a great deal of maturity and empathy. I also loved hearing the father express such care for the talents and potential for trans women, his wife and his daughter. If all men could view women not as objects but people with hopes, dreams and ambitions, the world would be a safer place for people of all genders. May we all be so kind to others and so kind to ourselves. I wish them happiness and peace wherever their faith journey takes them.
I can’t agree more. I want a podcast like this for every faith and culture and everyone. I just love to hear people’s stories and be reminded of my own humanity.
Mormon Stories helped me during my faith transition! I still can't get enough of others' stories! We are all different, no two experiences are exactly alike, BUT how awesome is it to hear some parts of my story in someone else's story?! Thank you John & Co! PS: I was so indoctrinated, that Ryan's take on the Word of Wisdom was one of the first things that ever made me think for myself! Thank you, Ryan!
I love the relationship between Ryan and Scout. I had the privilege of growing up with a dad who refused to accept limits for his daughters and it has profoundly impacted my life. Scout will go on to do great things just because of the faith that Ryan has in her. For a daughter, having a father who fight for his daughter’s future gives her an emotional support she will draw on for the rest of her life.
I am not Mormon, but I did spend 4 years as a Baptist missionary sent to start a church in remote Montana. Everything this guy said was like him reading a chapter from my experience. It was so grueling and I had virtually no support. Bless him for his boldness to share such deep pain.
I can only imagine the difficulties. I respect pastors who preach but then manage their own jobs! Ive always struggled with Pastors who derive an income from religion.
I am from Poland, sorry for what You came through.I used to see missionaries from time to time when I was in high school in Warsaw around 2005 and always wandered if they baptised anyone. Poland is so Catholic, especially South. Next time I eat pączki i will know they can actually save life😊
I'm not a Mormon or a Christian; I usually just listen to this channel out of curiosity. I really want to say that this episode is so heartwarming to me. As a person who is just starting a family and has an anxiety of the unknown future, Ryan's story means a lot. How you, your spouse, and your family grow and support each other makes me tear up. Scout also reminds me of me of me and my father. The bond both of you have is so precious. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for showing a beautiful example of life and a kind loving family.
looking back on 20 years since I started my family, most of my fears never materialized and my dreams of having the kind of family I wanted did. My anxiety robbed me of a lot of happiness along the way though. Thanks for the kind words.
Listening to Scout hearing at church that the reason people leave is to sin: i was nearly 70 when I left, and never thought of alcohol (I'm a convert who had enjoyed wine before I joined) but I remember now my first glass of wine after I left - with my 50-year-old non-member son, who had supported me all through my membership, even though he couldn't understand it. I'm grateful to Scout and Ryan for sharing their pain. I get it sooo much! ❤
I’ll never go to another Mormon church for the REST of my life. They’ve ruined me and my kids for a long time, and I left in 04/05. My children are still suffering from the mess they went through.
@@sammiller4321 Long story, but I’ll try to shorten it some for you. My ex husband was born into it, both parents and so on. We were in a car accident and he decided that it was time for him to make his return, he bought me and the kids along for it. Our marriage crashed and burned, a lot of it was because I didn’t want to conform to the way of life, wearing the undergarments, attending church, etc., because I had become disillusioned, and asked questions of the religion, that I didn’t like the answers to. He began to beat me and the kids as time passed. I told our bishop, they paid for counseling for us. They were even present one of the times when he beat me. Well, when I finally decided that enough was enough, the church sided with him, immediately. They tried to get me to stay with him. For two months after he moved out, him and the church, pushed for us to remain married. When that didn’t work, they helped him financially to steal my kids. Yes, steal them. At this point, I had them through the week, on the weekends, he would get them. He was living with some church members at this time. He got them for his visit, and took them to Idaho, where he’s originally from, without my knowledge. They all knew and didn’t warn me so I could keep my kids. It took five days, after calling all of his family members in Utah, Idaho and Oregon, to find out where he had taken my kids. It took five weeks for me to raise the money to travel from Georgia to Idaho to get them back. In the process, I officially filed for divorce and was given full temporary custody due to him leaving the state with them. Once he realised this, he filed restraining orders and told the court that I was abusive to him and the kids, actually using what he did to me and the kids, against me with him as the victim. The judge allowed me to bring the babies back to Georgia. After we returned, the kids and I, I had a divorce hearing. I had no idea that the church and his mother once again, gave him the funds to come back to Georgia to appear in court. Some of the members came in his defense, against me. These are some of the same folks that witnessed his mental abuse towards me and the kids. The judge didn’t know who to side with, so he took our children and put them into foster care. We lost two years together as a family. Every time I got close to getting them back, my ex would do something or make up a lie in order to paint me as a villain. The man hid in my bushes on my property to take pics of my uncle coming into my home at 3am because he didn’t want to drink and drive, and said that I was promiscuous. The church backed him the entire time. I eventually won full custody of kids. If that soulless bunch had been honest with the court, my children wouldn’t have had to go through all of that. If they would have remained neutral, better solutions could have been made for the sake of the kids. That should have been their aim. Their main objective was to help him against me. I don’t want to say it’s because I’m black and he’s white, but I have nothing else more that would explain why they went through so much to help a wife and kid beating individual, who is mentally and physically abusive. My oldest suffered more than any of them because she had to raise her siblings and be their support while they were in foster care. Being nine years old with the responsibility of three small kids is a lot. To this day, she’s not healed and her kids are suffering from what she was exposed to and went through due to that marriage, the church and foster care. I haven’t been able to trust anyone since this myself. I’ll never attend another church again, that’s for sure.
@@cocoamonroe6312 I am so very sorry that you and your children were put through all that. Sending you love. None of that should have ever happened to you 😢❤️
I’ve only gotten to his Polish mission. The Mormon Church just doesn’t care if these kids live or die on their missions. They put their lives in jeopardy to be salespeople and make them pay for the privilege. I can’t get over it and I’ve seen many of these stories.
@@JeantheSecond-ip7qm yet I Holland who never had a real job is worth 14 million as professional priest. 🤮🤮🤮Camel and eye of needle 🤣🤣🤣I want to see his camel shrinking machine.
I worked for four years for my mission, not once for the Bishop even try to attempt to help pay for mine. I can understand that the youth should help pay, but the ward could have been more supportive.
@@MatthewMitchell-d4n This is a manipulation tactic. You spend and slave and then ignore facts. Truly sicking what these wicked old clowns have been doing.
@@MatthewMitchell-d4n I don’t think the youth should pay anything. If they’re doing all this intense amount of work to be salespeople for the church, they should get paid. To be honest, I don’t think they should go on missions, but that’s another matter.
26 minutes in and I feel the SHAME that nearly drove him to end his life. High control religions / cults are so incredibly toxic and even deadly for many kind, good-hearted people . Much love and healing to you and yours, Ryan.
Scout is so well spoken. I am so thankful her parents allowed her to learn her own way thru spirituality. Sounds like a great family, thank you Jesus they searched until they found you.
Scout: "I have a poem for that" 😂 . But seriously, Scout your poems are so insightful, brought up lots of emotions for me, and made me cry. I rewound it several times to listen to the poems a few times. Poetry is so powerful ❤
Just started listening - growing up in the 80’s and 90’s in southern Poland I can’t even imagine the cultural shock it must have been for Ryan … trying to convert catholic Polish ppl when the Pope was Polish 😶 mission impossible … I am a huge fan of your podcast, greetings from Ireland 🇮🇪 (I guess the name John was looking for was Lech Walesa)
@@myflowertherapy thankfully LDS basically doesn't exist in most of Europe anymore. German LDS are basically all gone. Just some Americans and a few misfits.
I loved this episode. My faith deconstruction was so hard on my 14-year-old daughter. It was like a dropped a bombshell, and she was hurt and confused. With time, our faith journey as a family has brought us so much closer! I have a better relationship with my daughter than I ever did before! We now attend a non-denominational Christian church, and it has given us community once again- with no strings attached! This story was so relatable. Thank you!
Yay!!! It’s so cool to see Christians finally coming forward on Mormon Stories who have found a new congregation of believers who have the unconditional love of Christ.
This is such a unique perspective. I’m a never Mormon but have been a Christian since I was 16. I’m still the only believer in my family and it was really tough initially and now I have a really good relationship with my mom who has a very different faith than me.
I was recently in Kiribati for work and encountered a lot of missionaries. I tried to be a friendly face and a kind word for each of them knowing that they all have a hard time and some of them maybe struggling. Thanks for sharing your story and glad you are still here, Ryan
I am one of your Christian listeners and sometimes I am so saddened towards the end of the story bc it seems so many abandon Jesus altogether. This episode is a breath of fresh air. Thank you. Your guests are all lovely people though and their stories compelling.
Yes!! I was raised mormon but left it in the dust to find out who God was for myself!! The true Christ saved her and will use her testimony to draw many others to Him! ❤🙌🏼✝️
Because Christ is used as, essentially, a way to guilt people into obedience in the Mormon church, it is very common to let go of the concept of Jesus as a divine savior. It's a negative connotation they need to shed. I'm currently going back and forth on what Jesus means to me. When Mormon Christianity is so mentally and emotionally draining and damaging, it's really hard to identify what to trust in and what to hold on to. But I agree that it is nice to hear about people who leave a religion holding on to faith.
This has been the most impactful video for me so far. I have so appreciated your journey and your love of Jesus and how it has remained even though you left the church. I'm ready to walk away from the church (pimo) but can't walk away from Jesus. Its nice to see that you haven't left Jesus. It breaks my heart to see so many who do. I understand it's because they've experienced so much pain but it's still hard to see.
I’ve been waiting on pins and needles for this podcast to be released! Please have this dynamic duo back again! And soon! Carrah too. ❤ In light of how the recent trial went since this podcast, I feel like we will be hearing a whole lot more from Ryan . Wonderful, wonderful folks. I love them so much!
My god, who is this young woman? She is so impressive. Poetry, wisdom, guidance, humility, Shakespeare quotes, etc. the list goes on. Scout, you inspired and taught me today. Please become a pastor or whatever your heart and mind lead you to. You are so powerful!
I am one of your faithful never Mormon subscribers. Scout and her poem about the lost lamb really touched me! Then her insight about how people need community, her parents finding it in a different place from her siblings, but Scout supported all of them because she understood their need for community. Then her poem about organized religion…she is an amazing young woman! If she becomes a minister, I’d attend her church. I’d like her to be part of my community, to “walk home together”.
I wish my non-believing father had stepped in and told me I had choices--that the religion my mother raised me in wasn't The Truth, that there were other ways to see the wold and believe. But he sat back and let my mother raise me in a high-demand, high control fundamentalist christian faith. And my father was intelligent, good, moral and kind and loved me unconditionally. It took me 43 years before I woke up--lots of abuse and years wasted in a cult--and the worst was I raised my children in the cult which harmed them immensely as well. I wish my father had not been passive. But I am so thankful it worked out for your daughter.
It is so interesting to hear Scout's perspective. My experience was that my 4 children left the church. I eventually followed. My husband is still a believer. He watches mormon apologetics on TH-cam constantly. I think he too is motivated by the need to be right which is difficult for me to deal with. He was really into the whole Heartland model for awhile. I don't know if he is aware that Ryan has left the church and I don't want to be the one to tell him.
@@cj-cw7wi Ask him how he feels about Jeffrey Holland being a multimillionaire and never having worked a real job. Just a professional priest of a church that bragged that it has no paid clergy. Ask him how to pass that camel through the eye of a needle.
Something I was completely oblivious to when I was active in the church is the true anguish and difficulty of separating yourself mentally and/or physically from the church. The judgement I extended of seeing someone less active or inactive was so much harsher and ignorant than I realized until I went on my own journey. It’s impossible for members to understand having not gone through it. I feel as though I’ve had to rebuild who I am from my core. It’s been agonizing, painful, exhausting, empowering and absolutely beautiful all at the same time. Grateful every day for who I have become and continue to become. Love that this was pointed out and really hit me deeply.
Non member here but grew up around the church my entire teenage years. My friends are lds. When they all went on their missions I used to get their emails and most of them got zero baptisms and they were pretty demoralized honestly. I try to make it a point to say hi to all the missionaries I see out at work since I do pest control for multi family in the low income side of town. I remember mentioning that to My recent exmo friend and he said “dude you have zero idea how much missionaries appreciate someone at least being kind to them.” I said “well I figured they’re getting doors slammed in their faces and people probably bad mouth them all day so it’s the least I can do. Being a nice person is free”. I never realized it could get demoralizing to the point of near suicide. Sorry to hear that story.
Decades ago, I worked in a used/new record store. There were a pair of LDS missionaries that would sneak into the store once a week & ask us to play a tape or record for them each time. They’d stay as long as they dared, then head out without a purchase. I felt so bad for them because I could tell they just wanted some music in their lives. A co-worker was initially frustrated they didn’t intend in buying anything but when I explained it all to him, he became very willing to help the guys out. 🎶
Amazing talk. I really loved that Ryan was honest about not knowing what to do. I also loved the critical thinking from Scout. She will make the world her own ! Her metamorphosis is amazing.
Beautiful father daughter relationship. Deeply moving. Scout is a beautiful young poet. Wonderful that she has been supported in her exploration and expression.
Whoa, the prepper and fear control of religion just hit me like a ton of bricks. I got sucked into evangelical Baptists in my teens, very much based in control by fear and preparing for the end of times. Thief in the Night messed me up for a few years.
I'm sorry you are going through hard times but I see so much love & healing. Scouts poems were so heartfelt. No one can ever take your unconditional love for each other. The creator I believe in has unconditional love for me, no matter what I do. Only humans have judgement. ❤
This is so refreshing, and it is such a critical/connecting piece of the Tim Ballard puzzle . . . but even without that, Ryan's and Scout's stories, as well as the ongoing emergence and redefinition of their transcendent father-daughter relationship, all of this is more than enough content for incredible story-telling that is full of INTEGRITY -- not to mention being helpful for other individuals and families.
I am so jealous of Scout and her father. He totally respects her values her opinion and all that. When I left my parents weird church(Armstrongism) when I was 17 I was told I was under the influence of the devil and treated like dirt, shamed and vilified. Many years later I can still feel resentment over how I was treated.
I'm sorry that has happened to you. I've had a lot of shame from my parents too. A big part of my vision for my kids is to create the family I didn't have growing up.
What a smart beautiful young lady, I am so impressed by her maturity and love of God. Ryan, I sincerely hope you and your wife find healing and peace in your journey. I’m so sorry you are hurting, thank you for sharing this I enjoyed it so much.
What a compelling story! I'm a never-mormon Catholic here and spent many an hour listening to Mormon Stories. I'm so glad you took the BIG stage here w John. A truly important story for the world to know. Scout, 'oh the places you'll go!!!' :))
I work in an urgent care. A group of three Mormon missionaries came in. One of the boys was suffering from anxiety. I remember thinking “Why are they making these poor boys wear such an outdated looking costume?”
Thank you for sharing❤ I was raised LDS, but was never comfortable with it, even as a very little girl, so I have never been an active member. I just felt like it wasnt where I was supposed to be. I just always felt I belong somewhere in the middle. My parents Never forced mormonism on us, my dad was never an active member, my mom took us when we did go as kids, but they are the most amazing parents who through their love and wisdom instilled amazing values in us. I am greatful for the foundation of God and Christ, but they are always with us, regardless of any organized religion. Just find peace the best way for yourself, be a decent person, have some decent morals and God will be with you always. ❤
Ryan….i love you sooooo much. What an awful experience….so sorry you were pushed so far. God bless you hon…I’ve listened to you at two interviews….i want you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt….your sweet soul makes me, all so happy you didn’t succeed in taking your life. You’re amazing.
I never knew how nuanced farming is until I started watching Cole and your family. I have watched since the start and have learned so much. Thank you Daddy CornStar for showing us your prospective.
This video has been fantastic for me. Ryan’s experience during his Mission and the fact he made it through all of it ; well, just fantastic! I’m 79 yo F and I just am fascinated with that part of his life adventure. Then his adventure with “Tim” that is still exposing new chapters of that perverts hurtful trampling across peoples lives. The saga continues. Scout, you are beautiful in your approach to viewing life’s adventures for yourself. I have found that cults have a common thread: Power, Sex, and Money. Politics have the same threads. They use fear to gain power, sex, and money. You stay sharp, girl. And appreciate your life. ❤
Thank you Ryan for sharing your story. I don't find anything humorous about being saved by a donut that brought you some semblance of joy in a terribly bleak landscape. I felt it was devastating and amazing to hear what the markers can be between life and death. I've struggled with the thoughts you were having and I wish everyone knew that sometimes it takes something small to bring someone back into the fold. I know your friend wasn't aware of your internal struggle but I want more people to think about the stakes and how thin that line is and to notice people who are struggling. I promise the world would be a better place for everyone (including myself) if people understood this fact. Also John I've followed your channel for so long. I'm a recovering Evangelical and have been down some very dark roads- thank you for sharing personal conversations such a these.
I loved Nephite Explorer when I was a Mormon and I always wondered what happened to this guy, because he seemed so honest and systematic in his search for truth. Cool to see we both found our way out of Mormonism.
When Ryan says something like "Fairly damaged by organized religion, I hang onto some things that are good and am letting go of the things that are harmful" That basically sums up my faith journey. Left at 18 and never going back to LDS Church.
What an inspiring family and so relatable for me. Im 1 of 4 exmo siblings in our blended family of 9 (plus 7 bro/sis in laws) and its taken us a lot of work to get to the point of putting love and relationships first. We had a rough couple of years after our parents divorced. Mom left the church and became the "villian" and Dad remarried a memeber. But now that a few more of us have left its just become so clear that life is messy but family is everything.
What an impressive duo and interview. I love their humble hearts and desire for good. My oldest is Scout’s age and we are going through a very similar life experience with our faith- we would love to connect and be part of their community as we have ties to their area and are not far from it (Utah county) I can relate to Ryan’s current feelings of religious trauma and the complicated aftermath as we sort through it all and try to build something better. The message of love and people above systems is beautiful and one we are doing our best to implement as well. So hard, but completely worth it ❤
When he said they were one of the only things that brought him happiness on his mission, I felt that deep in my soul. It made me cry the first time he said it and it’s making me cry just thinking about it now. His mission story brought back many painful memories from my own. I’m glad he and I are both here.
Been looking forward to this interview! Also, just wanted to say, Ryan and Carah, you are both doing great work standing up against people like Tim and corrupt corps who have a lot of financial backing and friends in high places. I wish I had the $ means to support you. Until then I will watch, comment, like and share your content 😊
Open loving communication with total acceptance will over come the church’s conditional love. My wife’s and mine relationship with our kids has expanded and become so much more real as we have discussed our awakening to church falsehoods.
More episodes like this one, this was inspiring and I even felt what I remember the “Holy Ghost” feeling like. Thanks MS for helping me to look for community outside of the church
What a blessing scout is! You really amaze me with your journey! I love that you asked God and Jesus to love you and lead you through your journey! I believe God through Jesus will bring your whole family together!
John, Tom Ferguson was in my ward growing up in CA. I remember him being an active member of our ward and then losing his testimony and leaving. It was a big deal. I remember his archeological digs to Central America. He spoke a great deal about it
This man's story touched my heart, I want to send him a compassionate hug from a distance for the horror of his mission experience. I am a lifelong, generational, liberal atheist, I never knew that the anti-LGBTQ propaganda is rooted in fear, I had no idea, I never thought that I could feel compassion for religious bigots, by I felt compassion for him, it must have been a nightmare living in fear expecting at any moment that the world will come crushing down on you for the "sins" of other people he was indoctrinated to hate. He presented his position with remarkable vulnerability, I could see a scared man and not just a hater. Thank you very much for sharing and widening my understanding of people.
@ВоробьёваАлиса-я4э the root cause of anti-LGBTQ rhetoric is their belief that sexual relations between anyone but a man and woman married to each other is a sin next to murder. And this reality has the Milennials and Gen-Z in the Church very conflicted.
I know Ryan very well. I was a business partner with him in 2009 2010. He is a sincere human and these stories are not things he shared years ago and I have so much empathy for him and so happy to see how Scout grew up. She was 5 when we used to hang out.
Wow ! I am so grateful to TH-cam for puttting this in my play list . I am an ex JW . I am still in the process of waking up and trying preserve my relationship with my mum and siblings .
I have watched 100's of exjw videos , which have really helped my deconstruction . But this has been so helpful in a completely different way .
I have lost all my faith in a God . Listening to Scout was beautiful , and has given me a lot to think about .
Glad it was helpful!
When you see the ‘Made/by Man/ religions of the 1800’s they run the same manipulation, to coerce unsuspecting vulnerable people to join and the Guilt& Fear is NOT pure worship. Never has been, never will be includes the Roman Catholic & Protestants!
The difference between this podcast episode and the last one could not be more clear. These two show such profound respect and love not only for others but for themselves. The tenderness with which they treat their faith, their thoughts and their concerns shows a great deal of maturity and empathy. I also loved hearing the father express such care for the talents and potential for trans women, his wife and his daughter. If all men could view women not as objects but people with hopes, dreams and ambitions, the world would be a safer place for people of all genders. May we all be so kind to others and so kind to ourselves. I wish them happiness and peace wherever their faith journey takes them.
Amen
It is so important what Mormon Stories is doing. In 100 years our posterity will probably still remember it.
Exactly right!!! These stories will live for hundreds of years…
I can’t agree more. I want a podcast like this for every faith and culture and everyone. I just love to hear people’s stories and be reminded of my own humanity.
It’s great to see Carah again!
Big time Amen!!! ❤🇨🇦🇺🇸
Mormon Stories helped me during my faith transition! I still can't get enough of others' stories! We are all different, no two experiences are exactly alike, BUT how awesome is it to hear some parts of my story in someone else's story?! Thank you John & Co!
PS: I was so indoctrinated, that Ryan's take on the Word of Wisdom was one of the first things that ever made me think for myself! Thank you, Ryan!
I'm so impressed by these two. I'm so excited to share this interivew with the world 🙌
Will we be seeing you more on Mormon Stories? You have been missed.
Thanks for all you do!
Ya'll are amazing! I am glad to share your work!
So excited the two of you business partnered! How’s awesome for you both!
Wow Carah you look SO much happier ❤❤
I love the relationship between Ryan and Scout. I had the privilege of growing up with a dad who refused to accept limits for his daughters and it has profoundly impacted my life. Scout will go on to do great things just because of the faith that Ryan has in her. For a daughter, having a father who fight for his daughter’s future gives her an emotional support she will draw on for the rest of her life.
That line in her poem, “Jesus would let me in” gave me goosebumps over my whole body and I totally teared up.
Yes, I felt the same thing, I just had the image of Christ letting her in.
I am not Mormon, but I did spend 4 years as a Baptist missionary sent to start a church in remote Montana. Everything this guy said was like him reading a chapter from my experience. It was so grueling and I had virtually no support. Bless him for his boldness to share such deep pain.
I served an LDS mission in Montana. One of my areas (Conrad) felt like how he described Poland. I wish you well.
I can only imagine the difficulties. I respect pastors who preach but then manage their own jobs! Ive always struggled with Pastors who derive an income from religion.
@@dorimosher9800 I was in Thompson Falls which is near the Idaho border. The spiritual landscape in that state is desolate for sure.
I am from Poland, sorry for what You came through.I used to see missionaries from time to time when I was in high school in Warsaw around 2005 and always wandered if they baptised anyone. Poland is so Catholic, especially South.
Next time I eat pączki i will know they can actually save life😊
I'm not a Mormon or a Christian; I usually just listen to this channel out of curiosity. I really want to say that this episode is so heartwarming to me. As a person who is just starting a family and has an anxiety of the unknown future, Ryan's story means a lot. How you, your spouse, and your family grow and support each other makes me tear up. Scout also reminds me of me of me and my father. The bond both of you have is so precious. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for showing a beautiful example of life and a kind loving family.
looking back on 20 years since I started my family, most of my fears never materialized and my dreams of having the kind of family I wanted did. My anxiety robbed me of a lot of happiness along the way though. Thanks for the kind words.
Listening to Scout hearing at church that the reason people leave is to sin: i was nearly 70 when I left, and never thought of alcohol (I'm a convert who had enjoyed wine before I joined) but I remember now my first glass of wine after I left - with my 50-year-old non-member son, who had supported me all through my membership, even though he couldn't understand it. I'm grateful to Scout and Ryan for sharing their pain. I get it sooo much! ❤
I’ll never go to another Mormon church for the REST of my life. They’ve ruined me and my kids for a long time, and I left in 04/05. My children are still suffering from the mess they went through.
How did it ruin your life? What mess did they go through?
@@sammiller4321 Long story, but I’ll try to shorten it some for you.
My ex husband was born into it, both parents and so on. We were in a car accident and he decided that it was time for him to make his return, he bought me and the kids along for it. Our marriage crashed and burned, a lot of it was because I didn’t want to conform to the way of life, wearing the undergarments, attending church, etc., because I had become disillusioned, and asked questions of the religion, that I didn’t like the answers to. He began to beat me and the kids as time passed. I told our bishop, they paid for counseling for us. They were even present one of the times when he beat me.
Well, when I finally decided that enough was enough, the church sided with him, immediately. They tried to get me to stay with him. For two months after he moved out, him and the church, pushed for us to remain married.
When that didn’t work, they helped him financially to steal my kids. Yes, steal them. At this point, I had them through the week, on the weekends, he would get them. He was living with some church members at this time. He got them for his visit, and took them to Idaho, where he’s originally from, without my knowledge. They all knew and didn’t warn me so I could keep my kids.
It took five days, after calling all of his family members in Utah, Idaho and Oregon, to find out where he had taken my kids. It took five weeks for me to raise the money to travel from Georgia to Idaho to get them back. In the process, I officially filed for divorce and was given full temporary custody due to him leaving the state with them.
Once he realised this, he filed restraining orders and told the court that I was abusive to him and the kids, actually using what he did to me and the kids, against me with him as the victim. The judge allowed me to bring the babies back to Georgia.
After we returned, the kids and I, I had a divorce hearing. I had no idea that the church and his mother once again, gave him the funds to come back to Georgia to appear in court. Some of the members came in his defense, against me. These are some of the same folks that witnessed his mental abuse towards me and the kids.
The judge didn’t know who to side with, so he took our children and put them into foster care. We lost two years together as a family. Every time I got close to getting them back, my ex would do something or make up a lie in order to paint me as a villain. The man hid in my bushes on my property to take pics of my uncle coming into my home at 3am because he didn’t want to drink and drive, and said that I was promiscuous. The church backed him the entire time.
I eventually won full custody of kids. If that soulless bunch had been honest with the court, my children wouldn’t have had to go through all of that. If they would have remained neutral, better solutions could have been made for the sake of the kids. That should have been their aim. Their main objective was to help him against me. I don’t want to say it’s because I’m black and he’s white, but I have nothing else more that would explain why they went through so much to help a wife and kid beating individual, who is mentally and physically abusive.
My oldest suffered more than any of them because she had to raise her siblings and be their support while they were in foster care. Being nine years old with the responsibility of three small kids is a lot.
To this day, she’s not healed and her kids are suffering from what she was exposed to and went through due to that marriage, the church and foster care. I haven’t been able to trust anyone since this myself. I’ll never attend another church again, that’s for sure.
😢❤❤
@@cocoamonroe6312 I am so very sorry that you and your children were put through all that. Sending you love. None of that should have ever happened to you 😢❤️
I’ve only gotten to his Polish mission. The Mormon Church just doesn’t care if these kids live or die on their missions. They put their lives in jeopardy to be salespeople and make them pay for the privilege. I can’t get over it and I’ve seen many of these stories.
@@JeantheSecond-ip7qm yet I Holland who never had a real job is worth 14 million as professional priest. 🤮🤮🤮Camel and eye of needle 🤣🤣🤣I want to see his camel shrinking machine.
@@JeantheSecond-ip7qm the church stipends for clergy start at 6 figures. Multimillionaires who never worked a real job.
I worked for four years for my mission, not once for the Bishop even try to attempt to help pay for mine. I can understand that the youth should help pay, but the ward could have been more supportive.
@@MatthewMitchell-d4n This is a manipulation tactic. You spend and slave and then ignore facts. Truly sicking what these wicked old clowns have been doing.
@@MatthewMitchell-d4n I don’t think the youth should pay anything. If they’re doing all this intense amount of work to be salespeople for the church, they should get paid. To be honest, I don’t think they should go on missions, but that’s another matter.
26 minutes in and I feel the SHAME that nearly drove him to end his life. High control religions / cults are so incredibly toxic and even deadly for many kind, good-hearted people . Much love and healing to you and yours, Ryan.
Scout is so well spoken. I am so thankful her parents allowed her to learn her own way thru spirituality. Sounds like a great family, thank you Jesus they searched until they found you.
I appreciated the guests being so honest and vulnerable. Very glad their relationship is strong.
Scout- Your poem about roaming with Jesus is such a comforting message. Thank you!
Scout: "I have a poem for that" 😂 . But seriously, Scout your poems are so insightful, brought up lots of emotions for me, and made me cry. I rewound it several times to listen to the poems a few times. Poetry is so powerful ❤
Just started listening - growing up in the 80’s and 90’s in southern Poland I can’t even imagine the cultural shock it must have been for Ryan … trying to convert catholic Polish ppl when the Pope was Polish 😶 mission impossible … I am a huge fan of your podcast, greetings from Ireland 🇮🇪 (I guess the name John was looking for was Lech Walesa)
My husband also served a mission in Poland in '97. He paints a very similar picture of how difficult it was.
@@myflowertherapy thankfully LDS basically doesn't exist in most of Europe anymore. German LDS are basically all gone. Just some Americans and a few misfits.
So sad. It’s terrible what this church puts people through.
I loved this episode. My faith deconstruction was so hard on my 14-year-old daughter. It was like a dropped a bombshell, and she was hurt and confused. With time, our faith journey as a family has brought us so much closer! I have a better relationship with my daughter than I ever did before! We now attend a non-denominational Christian church, and it has given us community once again- with no strings attached! This story was so relatable. Thank you!
Yay!!! It’s so cool to see Christians finally coming forward on Mormon Stories who have found a new congregation of believers who have the unconditional love of Christ.
I’m so happy for you!!
@@scoutfisher7455 thank you!! I had my daughter listen, and she loved your story! I can’t thank you enough!
This is such a unique perspective. I’m a never Mormon but have been a Christian since I was 16. I’m still the only believer in my family and it was really tough initially and now I have a really good relationship with my mom who has a very different faith than me.
I was recently in Kiribati for work and encountered a lot of missionaries. I tried to be a friendly face and a kind word for each of them knowing that they all have a hard time and some of them maybe struggling. Thanks for sharing your story and glad you are still here, Ryan
Oh Scout! You have a lot of wisdom! The poem of the sheep brought me to tears! So glad you're clinging to God and Jesus!
I am one of your Christian listeners and sometimes I am so saddened towards the end of the story bc it seems so many abandon Jesus altogether. This episode is a breath of fresh air. Thank you. Your guests are all lovely people though and their stories compelling.
Yes!! I was raised mormon but left it in the dust to find out who God was for myself!! The true Christ saved her and will use her testimony to draw many others to Him! ❤🙌🏼✝️
Because Christ is used as, essentially, a way to guilt people into obedience in the Mormon church, it is very common to let go of the concept of Jesus as a divine savior. It's a negative connotation they need to shed.
I'm currently going back and forth on what Jesus means to me. When Mormon Christianity is so mentally and emotionally draining and damaging, it's really hard to identify what to trust in and what to hold on to.
But I agree that it is nice to hear about people who leave a religion holding on to faith.
Yes!!
This has been the most impactful video for me so far. I have so appreciated your journey and your love of Jesus and how it has remained even though you left the church. I'm ready to walk away from the church (pimo) but can't walk away from Jesus. Its nice to see that you haven't left Jesus. It breaks my heart to see so many who do. I understand it's because they've experienced so much pain but it's still hard to see.
I’ve been waiting on pins and needles for this podcast to be released! Please have this dynamic duo back again! And soon! Carrah too. ❤
In light of how the recent trial went since this podcast, I feel like we will be hearing a whole lot more from Ryan .
Wonderful, wonderful folks. I love them so much!
If a prophet has to write a prophecy about himself into scripture, he is a false prophet
My god, who is this young woman? She is so impressive. Poetry, wisdom, guidance, humility, Shakespeare quotes, etc. the list goes on. Scout, you inspired and taught me today. Please become a pastor or whatever your heart and mind lead you to. You are so powerful!
I am one of your faithful never Mormon subscribers. Scout and her poem about the lost lamb really touched me! Then her insight about how people need community, her parents finding it in a different place from her siblings, but Scout supported all of them because she understood their need for community. Then her poem about organized religion…she is an amazing young woman! If she becomes a minister, I’d attend her church. I’d like her to be part of my community, to “walk home together”.
I wish my non-believing father had stepped in and told me I had choices--that the religion my mother raised me in wasn't The Truth, that there were other ways to see the wold and believe. But he sat back and let my mother raise me in a high-demand, high control fundamentalist christian faith. And my father was intelligent, good, moral and kind and loved me unconditionally. It took me 43 years before I woke up--lots of abuse and years wasted in a cult--and the worst was I raised my children in the cult which harmed them immensely as well. I wish my father had not been passive. But I am so thankful it worked out for your daughter.
I was sooo waiting for another epic family story. These are my absolute favorite. Looking forward to this one ❤
Mine too! And I'm not even Mormon.
It is so interesting to hear Scout's perspective. My experience was that my 4 children left the church. I eventually followed. My husband is still a believer. He watches mormon apologetics on TH-cam constantly. I think he too is motivated by the need to be right which is difficult for me to deal with. He was really into the whole Heartland model for awhile. I don't know if he is aware that Ryan has left the church and I don't want to be the one to tell him.
Watch this videoa couple times and TH-cam will tell him.
@@cj-cw7wi Ask him how he feels about Jeffrey Holland being a multimillionaire and never having worked a real job. Just a professional priest of a church that bragged that it has no paid clergy. Ask him how to pass that camel through the eye of a needle.
Something I was completely oblivious to when I was active in the church is the true anguish and difficulty of separating yourself mentally and/or physically from the church. The judgement I extended of seeing someone less active or inactive was so much harsher and ignorant than I realized until I went on my own journey. It’s impossible for members to understand having not gone through it. I feel as though I’ve had to rebuild who I am from my core. It’s been agonizing, painful, exhausting, empowering and absolutely beautiful all at the same time. Grateful every day for who I have become and continue to become. Love that this was pointed out and really hit me deeply.
Beautifully said
Non member here but grew up around the church my entire teenage years. My friends are lds. When they all went on their missions I used to get their emails and most of them got zero baptisms and they were pretty demoralized honestly. I try to make it a point to say hi to all the missionaries I see out at work since I do pest control for multi family in the low income side of town. I remember mentioning that to My recent exmo friend and he said “dude you have zero idea how much missionaries appreciate someone at least being kind to them.” I said “well I figured they’re getting doors slammed in their faces and people probably bad mouth them all day so it’s the least I can do. Being a nice person is free”. I never realized it could get demoralizing to the point of near suicide. Sorry to hear that story.
Decades ago, I worked in a used/new record store. There were a pair of LDS missionaries that would sneak into the store once a week & ask us to play a tape or record for them each time. They’d stay as long as they dared, then head out without a purchase.
I felt so bad for them because I could tell they just wanted some music in their lives. A co-worker was initially frustrated they didn’t intend in buying anything but when I explained it all to him, he became very willing to help the guys out. 🎶
What a sweet father/daughter pair. Very heartwarming to watch.
Amazing talk. I really loved that Ryan was honest about not knowing what to do. I also loved the critical thinking from Scout. She will make the world her own ! Her metamorphosis is amazing.
Thank you,Scout. You’ve put into words what I’ve been trying to say all my life.
Beautiful father daughter relationship. Deeply moving. Scout is a beautiful young poet. Wonderful that she has been supported in her exploration and expression.
Whoa, the prepper and fear control of religion just hit me like a ton of bricks. I got sucked into evangelical Baptists in my teens, very much based in control by fear and preparing for the end of times. Thief in the Night messed me up for a few years.
I'm sorry you are going through hard times but I see so much love & healing. Scouts poems were so heartfelt. No one can ever take your unconditional love for each other. The creator I believe in has unconditional love for me, no matter what I do. Only humans have judgement. ❤
This is so refreshing, and it is such a critical/connecting piece of the Tim Ballard puzzle . . . but even without that, Ryan's and Scout's stories, as well as the ongoing emergence and redefinition of their transcendent father-daughter relationship, all of this is more than enough content for incredible story-telling that is full of INTEGRITY -- not to mention being helpful for other individuals and families.
Scout’s depth exceeds her age and her poetry really hits my core. I’m gonna see if I can purchase this book on Amazon Canada.
I am so jealous of Scout and her father. He totally respects her values her opinion and all that. When I left my parents weird church(Armstrongism) when I was 17 I was told I was under the influence of the devil and treated like dirt, shamed and vilified. Many years later I can still feel resentment over how I was treated.
I'm sorry that has happened to you. I've had a lot of shame from my parents too. A big part of my vision for my kids is to create the family I didn't have growing up.
@@RyanFisher1111 It looks like you succeeded. You guys are amazing.
1:44:50
Carah: "when did you hear the sound of fraud?" 😅
Nobody reacted to your subtle joke, but I appreciate it lol
Thank you 😘
Carah is freaking hilarious.
@@CarahBurrell ❤️
That was epic!
Incredibly moving story. Beautiful. My favorite podcast episode to date
Mormon Stories puts out such excellent content. Love this!
What a smart beautiful young lady, I am so impressed by her maturity and love of God. Ryan, I sincerely hope you and your wife find healing and peace in your journey. I’m so sorry you are hurting, thank you for sharing this I enjoyed it so much.
What a mature, mindful, and articulate young lady. Thank y’all for sharing
This young woman - wow. I think she’s got an incredible future ahead of her.
What a compelling story! I'm a never-mormon Catholic here and spent many an hour listening to Mormon Stories. I'm so glad you took the BIG stage here w John. A truly important story for the world to know. Scout, 'oh the places you'll go!!!' :))
I'm really thankful for that donut. Glad you're here to share your story with us.
I work in an urgent care. A group of three Mormon missionaries came in. One of the boys was suffering from anxiety. I remember thinking “Why are they making these poor boys wear such an outdated looking costume?”
Thank you for sharing❤ I was raised LDS, but was never comfortable with it, even as a very little girl, so I have never been an active member. I just felt like it wasnt where I was supposed to be. I just always felt I belong somewhere in the middle. My parents Never forced mormonism on us, my dad was never an active member, my mom took us when we did go as kids, but they are the most amazing parents who through their love and wisdom instilled amazing values in us. I am greatful for the foundation of God and Christ, but they are always with us, regardless of any organized religion. Just find peace the best way for yourself, be a decent person, have some decent morals and God will be with you always. ❤
Scout is magical❤
As a newly retired special education teacher, thank you.
You're very welcome!
Ryan….i love you sooooo much. What an awful experience….so sorry you were pushed so far. God bless you hon…I’ve listened to you at two interviews….i want you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt….your sweet soul makes me, all so happy you didn’t succeed in taking your life. You’re amazing.
Scout !!!! Your poems are powerful ❤❤❤❤
I never knew how nuanced farming is until I started watching Cole and your family. I have watched since the start and have learned so much. Thank you Daddy CornStar for showing us your prospective.
Ryan & Amber are true gems. Scout, what an incredibly bright, well spoken, down-to-earth young lady ❤ CenterPoint is solid & open to everyone 😊
Love that church!
Him on mission in Poland is the equivalent of a catholic landing in Salt Lake City & trying to preach & convert the community to catholism
So true!! Lol
This video has been fantastic for me. Ryan’s experience during his Mission and the fact he made it through all of it ; well, just fantastic! I’m 79 yo F and I just am fascinated with that part of his life adventure. Then his adventure with “Tim” that is still exposing new chapters of that perverts hurtful trampling across peoples lives. The saga continues.
Scout, you are beautiful in your approach to viewing life’s adventures for yourself. I have found that cults have a common thread: Power, Sex, and Money. Politics have the same threads. They use fear to gain power, sex, and money. You stay sharp, girl. And appreciate your life. ❤
Thank you Ryan for sharing your story. I don't find anything humorous about being saved by a donut that brought you some semblance of joy in a terribly bleak landscape. I felt it was devastating and amazing to hear what the markers can be between life and death. I've struggled with the thoughts you were having and I wish everyone knew that sometimes it takes something small to bring someone back into the fold. I know your friend wasn't aware of your internal struggle but I want more people to think about the stakes and how thin that line is and to notice people who are struggling. I promise the world would be a better place for everyone (including myself) if people understood this fact. Also John I've followed your channel for so long. I'm a recovering Evangelical and have been down some very dark roads- thank you for sharing personal conversations such a these.
Well said!
I loved Nephite Explorer when I was a Mormon and I always wondered what happened to this guy, because he seemed so honest and systematic in his search for truth. Cool to see we both found our way out of Mormonism.
When Ryan says something like "Fairly damaged by organized religion, I hang onto some things that are good and am letting go of the things that are harmful"
That basically sums up my faith journey. Left at 18 and never going back to LDS Church.
What an amazing episode!!! Thanks to all of you!
Such a wonderful episode!!
Looking forward to this, been following Ryan with Carah Burrell. Greetings from South Africa 🇿🇦
🇿🇦
I love Scouts poetry! Very beautiful - just like she is. Wise beyond her years.
Fantastic episode! One of the best!
I just purchased Scout’s book and I can’t wait to read it! FTR It’s only $15.99! It’s truly a win win.🙏🏼❤️
What's it called? I wanna get it 😊
What a great episode ❤❤❤
What an inspiring family and so relatable for me. Im 1 of 4 exmo siblings in our blended family of 9 (plus 7 bro/sis in laws) and its taken us a lot of work to get to the point of putting love and relationships first. We had a rough couple of years after our parents divorced. Mom left the church and became the "villian" and Dad remarried a memeber. But now that a few more of us have left its just become so clear that life is messy but family is everything.
What an impressive duo and interview. I love their humble hearts and desire for good. My oldest is Scout’s age and we are going through a very similar life experience with our faith- we would love to connect and be part of their community as we have ties to their area and are not far from it (Utah county)
I can relate to Ryan’s current feelings of religious trauma and the complicated aftermath as we sort through it all and try to build something better.
The message of love and people above systems is beautiful and one we are doing our best to implement as well.
So hard, but completely worth it ❤
So heartwrenching to listen to you waiting for the iceberg. Giving you love and wrapping your sweet younger self in a mother's hug!
Saved by doughnuts! We’ll take it ❤. Anything to keep people going.
When he said they were one of the only things that brought him happiness on his mission, I felt that deep in my soul. It made me cry the first time he said it and it’s making me cry just thinking about it now. His mission story brought back many painful memories from my own. I’m glad he and I are both here.
I so appreciate the insight from Scout
Loved this. Looking so forward to learning what Timmy did.
First time comment for me. Listen to every episode. This has been my favorite!! Thank you!! ❤
Been looking forward to this interview!
Also, just wanted to say, Ryan and Carah, you are both doing great work standing up against people like Tim and corrupt corps who have a lot of financial backing and friends in high places. I wish I had the $ means to support you. Until then I will watch, comment, like and share your content 😊
This was a great interview! The best one you ever did. Thats my opinion only. Buying Scouts book.
3:17:46
Your insights are making me cry .. tears of admiration and love.
My eyes bugged out when he said “she is a speech pathologist” as I’m charting as a speech pathologist at 1am. ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for your hard work. It matters!
Scout. Thank you for your reminder to carry unconditional love not anger.
I wish i could like this interview more than once! What an amazing interview!!
Incredible interview thank you!!
I am SO excited for this endeavor Carrah and Ryan and undertaking to expose Tim Ballard and those that were complicit.
Thanks for the support! We need it.
Open loving communication with total acceptance will over come the church’s conditional love.
My wife’s and mine relationship with our kids has expanded and become so much more real as we have discussed our awakening to church falsehoods.
More episodes like this one, this was inspiring and I even felt what I remember the “Holy Ghost” feeling like. Thanks MS for helping me to look for community outside of the church
What a great conversation. So relatable, insightful and inspiring. 😊
Thank you so much for this story!
What a blessing scout is! You really amaze me with your journey! I love that you asked God and Jesus to love you and lead you through your journey! I believe God through Jesus will bring your whole family together!
Sammamish in the house! I LOVE it when Issaquah, Redmond, Microsoft come up because it makes me feel so connected to you guys!
This podcast has been therapy for me. Thank you so much for your stories! They helped me so so much.
This "Mormon Story" has many layers. Unique and mesmirizing both Ryan and Scott are relatable Mormon Stories at its very best
John, Tom Ferguson was in my ward growing up in CA. I remember him being an active member of our ward and then losing his testimony and leaving. It was a big deal. I remember his archeological digs to Central America. He spoke a great deal about it
I would love to tell Tom’s story some day.
Man his mission story has this momma crying over here 😭 ❤ so glad he got to the other side of that
Amazing podcast!!!!
Some folks may think these podcasts are too long. To tell these wonderful life journeys, it takes time.