Day in the Life of an Alzheimer's Caregiver: Heartbreaking
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ต.ค. 2024
- Caregivers of Alzheimer's patients are hidden heroes and sadly these selfless and dedicated people are often times forgotten. See this incredibly emotional story of a daughter who takes care of her beloved Alzheimer's mom. Reporter David Nazar has their story.
As a caregiver to my mom I find that it gets harder each day, emotionally is a rollercoaster. It's tiring, it's devastating , its brutal !
10 years for me, 100 % no help, 100% dependent on me & yes that stuff too. it's 24/7 365 no breaks no vacations & hospice & end game now. I know what your saying, no videos or testimonials really ever capture the experience just fragmented similarities..I always think I can convey it to someone & stop well short of what it really encompasses,the hell the isolation the insanity the life sucking out of you...it's impossible to explain..it is rolling that ball up a steep hill..I am sure I'm the one who's "nuts" she's got a reason & I'm wacko now..lol
Alzheimer's absolutely drains the life of the care givers,....whilst the patient is oblivious to this. What an insidious disease. In the past cancer was the scariest of thoughts,......today it is Alzheimer's. What a toll it takes on the family. Tragic indeed.
The sad reality is that everyone says they want to help, but when it comes time to actually get involved, most people don't.
No one can even understand what this is like without experiencing it every bloody day.
God bless her for taking care of her mother. Yes, a caregiver has to mourn every day.
Hello, how are you doing today? My name is Fremlin.
Bless you Maite. I just lost my mom after a five year goodbye like yours. Be good to yourself and know that you will never regret a minute of your care for her.
Hello, how are you doing today? My name is Fremlin.
You can't get help. It costs too much. The rest of the family doesn't understand. They think you're just sitting there relaxing all day. Once in a blue moon, someone will come and take her out for a few hours, and think, easy peasy! Try getting out of bed before she wakes up every day. Changing her out of her pajamas in the morning, and back into them at night. Try feeding her all three meals, and snacks in between. Be sure to ask her, every 30 minutes, if she needs to go to the bathroom. If you don't, she won't tell you, until it's too late. Then you can clean up the mess. Oh, and go to the bathroom with her. She's just as likely to wander into a closet, as find the bathroom on her own. And she walks oh so slow! She either won't wash her hands, or leaves the water running, after the bathroom visit. Every two or three days, give her a bath. Pray a family member will think of you, and stop by to sit with her, while you run to the grocery. You can't leave her alone. She'll wander off. You can't clean the house. Turn your back on her, and she'll wander off. And if you don't go to bed, the minute you put her to bed, you run the risk of oversleeping, and she'll get up before you, and wander off. Or fall. Pray she doesn't start doing the night roaming. And good luck getting your own shower.
itsnotthesamething I feel like you described my days perfectly. Nothing is easy about this at all
itsnotthesamething
It's so good knowing I'm not the only one.
Watching this video since I am on the same boat. My dad has reached the stage where he cannot swallow properly, I live alone with my dad, my office re-opens in a couple of days and I am unable to find any caretaker at the moment. This is my life at the moment and it gets depressing each passing day....
7 months ago my days were all my own. Playing video games, going out to eat, playing with my dog's, and just sitting on my ass on the weekends and after work if I chose to do so. Anything I wanted to do. Now I'm caring for my 87 year old mother with moderate dementia. Cooking meals, locking cabinets and drawers, cleaning up spills, and answering the same questions over and over every day.
You are a wonderful daughter to care for your mom. i worked in a nursing home for 26 years at the same nursing home. The Alzheimer’s Unit. Some patients never sleep.
I can relate. I'm only 20 and I've been taking care of my 91 year old Grandmother for about 4 years now. She has moderate to sever Alzheimers, and mixed with a couple other medical conditions, she requires 24/7 care. We had to childproof our house, because she is almost like a 1 year old. She loves wandering and getting into stuff. She loves going up to the park though. I push her up there in her wheelchair when it's nice outside, and she instantly goes from cranky to happy. I wish we could do it more often, but it's usually too cold or hot outside.
Kay Kay god bless you
Good girl...
You are a real honey to be young and so committed to your Nan. It stretches the limits of many an older carer. God Bless you.
I can relate...bless you! We can only love and show them respect and dignity💚 My dad will be 84 in March. I had to move in with my dad and care for him full time. We lost mom on February 8,2014. He misses her so... asking about her everyday...it brakes my 💞 to remind him she is gone... Sometimes we have a good cry and talk about what a sweetheart mom was, not to mention the love story they had❣
Caregivers should be paid like they are in Britain. This is a very hard job and often caregivers cannot work but the health system is saving by people staying at home.
I took care of my Mother for 8yrs. very little help from 4 siblings finally i decided it was time to put her in a home and she seems to be much happier because she has 2 activitys a day and other people to talk to her and the staff adore her because she is so sweet and happy which we were toldby the NP at the NH is unusual especially in the late stages of the disease, My own well being and health are better for making this decision.
My dad died last month, he was my moms care giver. Now I am taking over. She asks every day where he is and I have to tell her over and over he died. This disease is the worst.
She is a divine daughter!
As a caregiver, you have to mourn two deaths: the person they were and then their actual passing. It is extremely hard on the caregivers. When I cared for Rose who had dementia, it was as if she left her body and an evil spirit came in her to cause havoc. I had to deal with verbal abuse and Rose trying to leave the house. Caregiving for someone with dementia - Alzheimer's is dangerous to our health. We feel powerless, stressed, frustrated, and then guilt! The book The Inspired Caregiver was created for the health of the caregiver. it has questions to ponder, tips, and affirmations to empower caregivers.
Thank you for this excellent video! The number one thing to do when you are caring for a loved one with dementia / Alzheimer's is to find a resource center to help guide you through this process as well as refer you to counselors and help with financial counsel. Your video provides referrals to excellent organizations. Thank you again for sharing this video! It is heartbreaking and I'm hoping for a painless cure soon!
I am not a caregiver but my 91 year old mother has stage 4 Alzheimer's. She has lived on her own for the past 29 years since the death of my Dad. Mother is resistant to all offers of Agency Care and help. She refuses to use a walking stick or elbow crutch in spite of her swollen arthritic knee. She is adamant that she does not need to wear her glasses or hearing aids in her bungalow. Mother is in denial of her condition and her attitude is no longer endearing or brave. Just intolerable and insufferable.
@@janetfishwick8887 I can relate so much... my dad has a form of dementia and he's in denial too. It's SO hard on us :-(
This is so true. You loose them. It’s so sad.
Hello, how are you doing today? My name is Fremlin.
Just watched this and want to send hugs to Maite. I'm not sure if you mom is still alive now, but this video brought to tears. I can relate and I'm sending you love.
It is a tremendous amount of work but you do it out of love. I pray that I can continue.
This video expresses so well the heartbreak and frustration of being the caregiver for someone with dementia. I took care of my Grandma during her final years and it is such a lonesome, isolating task. People tend to back away, just not knowing how to deal with the changes in this person they used to know. I lost my Grandma to the disease in 2009, but wonder if I will ever recover from the experience and be able to live a normal, productive life again.
Laurie McLean You will. Try saying only positive things. Don’t live in the passed and take one day at a time. Sending blessings!
Bravo to the caregiver
This lady with Alzheimer’s knows exactly what her daughter is saying, just look at her face when her daughter says sad things , or gets upset xxx
Hello, how are you doing today? My name is Fremlin.
My brother is my mother caregiver and it pretty much took over his whole life. He sold his business and now stay home with her, taking care of her 24/7. He been doing this for almost ten years now. The funny thing he was the trouble maker as a boy and drove my mother crazy.
I can totally relate to this, being Mom's caregiver for over 7 years (she passed in November 2019 after suffering a traumatic brain injury, the result of a fall while in the "care" of a Care Unit). When it came time to place her in a Memory Care Unit (she was there for only 5 months), emergency temporary and then permanent Guardianship had to be obtained in order to do so - that was a grueling 6-week process. During all of those years, there was never any help from the siblings. When the Judge asked "how much time caring for, and how much financial support have you received from your sisters?", my answer was "not 10 seconds of time and not 10 cents of financial support". The Judge looked down, shook her head and said "wow". By this time all of the investigations had been completed and she had the evidence in front of her, confirming responses.
How people can turn a blind eye to this disease is beyond me.
My heart goes out to you your an amazing strong ladie but we all have a breaking point. Have a day just for you to be pampered.
Hello, how are you doing today? My name is Fremlin.
I do understand I went through this with my mom and dad and I miss them so much
Hello, how are you doing today? My name is Fremlin.
Extremely hard to watch. Let God gives you all your heart desire beautiful lady. Hope God will pay you back for all you are doing for your mom. Be strong!!!!!
Bless you for having the courage to care for your mother...I believe it's harder on the family than the person. Last weekend my full of life uncle was on my list to visit...he is in a nursing home..and didn't know us ...he can feed himself fruit, but he will eat until it's all gone..he doesn't know full feeling...he wears adult diaper...its heartbreaking...i agree it's like the living dead...you see them physically there...but their spirit slowly, then rapidly leaves...they are a shell of themselves..She mentioned cancer as being able to still talk to the person...true, to a point, but my mother's stage 4 ovarian cancer crossed her blood brain barrier leaving her with metastatic brain cancer...brain tumors pick & choose which function they will remove or complicate until the cancer attacks the cells that remind the heart to pump or the lungs to breathe...or any other organ to work or fail...whole brain radiation treatment only helped mildly to slow it down...heavy steroids helped to mask the worst of the symptoms from her...her face and head blew up to a puffy huge deformed version of herself, however she had no pain during that last 6 weeks...she was eating & enjoying food up until a week before...shockingly, one early morning her heart forgot to keep on beating....and victory on earth for her was won...she has been in heaven ...free from earthly evil monster of disease for 2 years now....please take care of the caregivers....we had hospice for the final 6 weeks so that mom could keep the dignity she had always asked for...she didn't want my father & I to see her in certain ways...we were at first feeling guilty, however, we look back at it as a blessing...we were able to sit with her by her bedside...while she rested...or watch her smile with her eyes closed as we played soft music in the room...God grant all people a time of peace from such horrible disease & grief....God be with the people who have been stricken with disease, & their caregivers who must bare the suffering & pain in the process...There will be relief...there will be peace...there will be comfort, and there will be life beyond....
Hello, how are you doing today? My name is Fremlin.
Please pray for me and my family. I care and live in with my grandmother. 4 years with this disease now.My daddy passed in 2012 and this is the hardest thing I've ever gone through with a 3 yo and 12 yo with asperger's
May God be with you on this journey. My family and I are going through the same thing.....much love
Where would Dr Cherry suggest she get help from? There is no financial help for families who care for their loved ones w Alzheimer's. Shame on us as citizens of a super power!
Elizabeth Solomon
That money goes to Shamika and her many Churrrdren. That and fighter jets to blow up people for Israel.
@Greg Gollan
Really? More white people are on government assistance than black people! It’s not just Shamika and her children, it’s also Amy, Jessica, Shirley and Sueanne!
Racism is disgusting! Check yourself.
your amazing woman..Godbless you mam for taking care of your mam..thanks for sharing🙏
We are going through this with my grandaddy. It is draining and the entire family has put their life on hold. But my mother especially has gotten it the worst. And ever since my grandmother passed it has been a struggle.
You are an inspiration.
Hello, how are you doing today? My name is Fremlin.
I am just starting this role as caregiver for my 86 year old husband. With COVID there is less help and they want full days work not the few hours break I need
you are AWESOME!!!!!!!!!
I am taking care of my 86 year old bedridden mom with Alzheimer's. She is between stage 6 and 7. I have done this for almost 7 years. She is to the point to barely eating or drinking. I know what is coming but I don't know how I can handle it.
Exactly what I’ve now been feeling with Papa now that I understand and also we are not conflicting - he’s calmer but not who the man he was - he was loving today but I couldn’t stop crying - it’s a nasty condition 😪😪
I feel like those people on that commercial where no one hear their screams.
K Hughes what do you mean
I'm 18 now and I was on 5th grade when my grandmother started to have Alzheimer's disease. It is really hard, her sleeping pattern is not consistent and her behaviour really changed
My mom has dementia and cancer so it is very difficult snd exhausting dealing with her.
thanks for sharing, I am on the same spot as her. it is very hard when your loved one does not know who you are and cannot read or write or use bathroom anymore.
Maite is a wonderful person.
I pray to god none of my loved ones gets this horrid disease :(
Im personal health support workers(phsw)caregiving from philippines, now im working in malaysia caregiver,,yes is not easy to take care but we must to give more patient for them..because they are different behavior with us.
Praise the Living God for the actual real love of families. Love that sacrifices still exist today. Human love can be so "fleeting' these days. We spent over $60,000 for long term insurance and never was able use even 1 cent of it, since my Mom died pretty quickly.
I don’t like the fact that they are talking about this poor lady while she’s sitting right there next to them.... who’s to say what she can and can’t understand.. it’s a very sad disease..
I agree. Even in Mom's last days, I NEVER allowed people to speak like this in front of her. When she eventually went to Hospice, even though she was unconscious, the Care Team completely understood and respected her ability to hear what was going on around her. They treated her as though she heard every word they said, and I believe she did.
My mom was diagnosed w/early onset dementia at 61 but we saw symptoms when she was around 58. She lives with me and for the most part can still get dressed and warm up meals in the microwave. She doesn't remember when she eats so she is constantly in the kitchen pulling out everything. This new person is very mean and angry all the time. I don't know how to communicate with her. She hates living with me and hides everything b/c she thinks that I'm taking her things. I love my mother but this new person will not allow me to help her in any way. Every word is NO and I don't know what to do other than find a memory clinic for her. She went a month without a bath and would not change her clothes for 3 weeks. What do I do?
Rushy C I'm going through the same thing. It is all in HOW you communicate with her. I had to experiment with different tactics to find out what works and what doesn't. If you handle EVERY situation with her with patience, love, and respect I promise you, you will save yourself and her from a tremendous amount of stress. Your mother needs you, she does not understand what's happening to her. I had to child proof my entire house, I put locks on all the cabinets and doors. I put double key dead bolts on front and back door, I turn the gas valve off for the oven when not in use. Doing those things took a lot of stress and worry off my plate. In my experience and many people I here about the medicine does not help. Its basically a seditive and in my case made the situation a lot worse. The medicine is supposed to be a way to make it easier for the care giver. I changed everything my mother in law was eating, she now gets all organic whole foods absolutely no junk food no sugar, no fast food or pop, and it has helped so much. Changing her diet helped with all the dementia ailments so tremendously I can't even begin to express how much! Don't give up, do your own research, give your mother the love and care that she deserves.
My mom does all of the same things, she hasn't been officially diagnosed yet but I'm pretty sure she has it. She lives in a senior apartment building but will most likely be moving to a nursing home soon since a cannot give her 24 hour care. I see her every other day and it just doesn't seem to be enough anymore. I hope you doing better with your mom's situation. Know you are definitely not alone.
Put her in a home and start living your own life
There is help out there! Seek out a support group, look into adult day care, hire a caregiver, and don’t forget to take care of you! It can be done, just reach out.
Granny Dumping
bey the way your right so hard to see you're love one like this
I lost my mom on December 23rd to alzheimer's
Caregiving is a very soul-destroying and back-breaking process. Not only do you have to deal with the loved one..you have to deal with doctors who simply don't give a damn. that's half the battle right there. Right now I"m dealing with VITAS and the doctor does not care my mom's accuchecks are rising and sugars in the 200's which is making her more lethargic and she is not increasing her insulin. So I'm going to have to file complaints or just stop the hospice. PS: Their aids don't help. You can only have one like twice a week for an hour..big deal. and that's another stress in itself.
But shes there listening to you say shes gone. How sad.
Hugs
So where's the information about getting help?
Why film her at this deteriorated stage when she cannot truly consent? My mother had dementia, I find this exploitive and immoral.
this depiction is very unrealistic. In reality you cannot go to work if they are that bad off. Now this woman is lucky her dad is still alive and still able to care for his wife. However, this is usually NOT the case since women tend to outlive men. . Unless you have a family willing to pitch in but don't count on that happening. If you hire a caregiver, a CNA will cost about $40 an hour so unless you are a millionaire it's pointless to go to work because all your money goes toward hiring people. In addition, CNAs cannot legally give medications so you have to hire home health nurse to administer meds. So I don't understand how she can "go to work" if her mom is full-time care.
Walking dead, the rest of us dies also. :(
✝️❤
Family caregivers are everyday heroes, and as this video points outs, it's important for them to care for themselves, as well. To learn how respite care can make a difference when caring for a loved one with dementia, this article is helpful: montebellocares.com/dementia-caregiving/
Now it’s bad to take care of a Dementia patient if it you Husband but the worse thing if you have dementia also .Its really bad
Who stays with her while you work ???????
During the interview, she said the husband/father stays with her.
Gets paid by the state!! Also first in line to get all this woman has!!! Not about any thing but Money get real!!!!!
WHY are you talking in front of her about her....would you like that???
Mom service alltime
otherwise
Press 0 over and over
so what do you do if you don't have enough money to there care. that's what's going on right now with my father in new York am not there unfortunately am in the Philippines. he has a girlfriend for 30 year's not a wife because they where never married. so right now she is trying to manage his problems.
If you don’t have enough money you go on Medicaid and then the gov’t pays
sterkt