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Hi Randy, great video. You hit the nail 100% on the head. I was married to a Thai woman for 15 years (sadly she passed away in 2023) and, yes, I provided money to her and her family- supporting education primarily - but also other reasons. I can wholeheartedly say that they rewarded me with inclusion in the family, and unending caring and support. My wife “repaid” my financial support (and she did have a good career herself) with love, service and patience with me (!). It’s definitely worth making the effort to understand and appreciate the Thai way of family support. Thanks again.
My wife and I have been together 8 years and live in NZ. I resisted supporting her mother initially but after witnessing how hard she workes to survive on her small farm, I was happy to help. Seeing the difference the small amount I give her each month, makes to her life is very gratifying.
Nice video Randy. I've been coming to Thailand for 12 years, I've done the whole Gogo, Freelancer, massage, etc. I've also met great Thai women of character. People like me getting closer to retirement should be cultivating friendships every year with virtuous people so when we move our lives will be healthy. It is good to experience things but eventually make wise and healthy decisions when we become a resident. Keep the great content coming
Thanks for the compliment and good idea. Great if you can slowly build up relationships with quality people so when you do settle in that area you have a small group of trusted people.
I have been with a Thai woman for nearly 6 years now and have been married to her for a little more than a year now. But she is disabled and her ability to earn enough money can be very difficult for her. Plus I told her after a year or so I wanted to share some my money with her. But not to ever give her all of my money. That way I can make her life better by giving her some money each month. No matter who you decide to fall in love with you are going to spend money on her. That's just a fact of life. My wife today makes me very happy and I make her life very happy too. Being in love with someone, and the honey, makes your life so much better,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I’m a retired attorney married 16 years to my Thai wife. Yes it’s about money. 100%. But you are right. It’s all cultural. Financial security is number 1 in this culture. If you can’t provide it you can’t afford a Thai woman and she won’t be hanging around - nor would any woman with any sense. It’s really that simple. Now if you can provide well she will be a great mate as is mine. Of course none of this applies to prostitutes. You shouldn’t be getting into relationships with hookers and you get what you get there and that’s your own fault. You’re a guy out with prostitutes. What kind of guy does she think you are? You’ll never have any respect from her nor will she ever be able to normally pair bond after being with so many guys. I gladly assist my wife’s family as well and I’ve been rewarded far beyond the money for doing so. My father did the same thing. Mom was a housewife and when my grandparents retired they came to live with us. That doesn’t really happen in the US anymore. I see younger guys here who really don’t have a healthy view of money and it’s no wonder their relationships fail.
This was a great episode! I had a conversation with my Thai fiancé this morning and as a Westerner, it can be difficult… Especially trying to explain it to other westerners… her family has accepted me and I love her mother and I understand exactly what you have said…
Hello Randy, I can appreciate what you're saying about giving with no expectations of receiving. But I am sure the members of the family you are assisting show their gratitude in some way. I would be interested in hearing this.
It's a hard man who begrudges helping a warm hearted, struggling Thai lady. You only have to look at their living standards to realise they're doing it tough. Yet, their smile, beautifully pressed clothes & immaculate personal grooming, shows just how much they would value a helping hand. You should never look down on someone unless you're helping them up.
Super comment, Randy. Lots of "hard men" responding to this video. I wonder how they find happiness within themselves. One guy complained about having to pay for his poorer GF's plane ticket when they went on vacation. What a prize of a man!
Hey Randy, Another excellent and informative video, this time on what can be a very complex, sensitive, and nuanced subject! You explained it very well and crammed a lot in such a short time. Kudos!
I am a 59-year-old Malaysian man, but I don’t fall into the farang category. I enjoy following your channel and listening to your perspectives. Your explanation of how Thais view family values resonates with me, as similar principles are shared in this part of the world. The expectation for women to support their birth families, as well as the practice of expressing affection and respect through visible gestures, is not unique to Thai culture-it is a common tradition across Southeast Asia.
The rules for relationships are simple, no matter WHERE you live. You have to be FRIENDS FIRST if you want it to last very long. If it's all about the boom boom (that tingle that makes you jingle!), your brain ain't processing important cues and clues...and friendship is superficial. Since it's superficial, the odds are HIGH that it's....transactional. Transactions are normal, of course. Goes both ways, right? Just be aware and have fun! don't go mental when it all goes pear-shaped!
You are missing one very important fact. A lot of this depends on the parents/family. There are some that see the farang as an ATM. I have friends with Thai wives that vary considerably by the pressure exerted from within. I've seen one friend take the whole family out for a meal when he and his wife were the ones that wanted to go out. It takes two or three vehicles to get them all there. He pays for everything. The same happens if they want to go on vacation...they all have to go and it's a huge expense. Both he and his wife are wonderful people but the family is very aggressively wanting. My inlaws don't want anything from us. My dowry was returned after the ceremony. All money needs come from the family and the daughter is expected to comply. The issue is that there are many freeloaders in the family. Men with no intention of working if money from a farang is available. They will show up for any meal and expect to be fed and boozed up. They won't be there to help you load up the vehicle or work on any land you may have.
You are right about what you said except that I missed that fact. I put up a text card that says specifically that... not all families are good hearted. Some want $. Thanks for your great comment and showing how it goes both ways.
Every situation is different there is no set formula.My wife of 21 years when we met had a job as an accountant with a large company in Bangkok,her own condo and at 42 never had a relationship with any Thai man as she didnt trust them and had seen so many friends finish up with a child and no job due to marriage breakdown.She has 11 brothers and sisters and parents still on the family farm.Im never asked for money.We dated for a year before making the decision to marry."Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" is a motto to remember.
Great message, Michael. Thanks for sharing not all Thai women fit some negative stereotype. Even on this video I'm getting lots of push back on just the idea. Glad you found a great life here.
valid points and explanations. i have a cousin that went back to laos and married a woman there. he complains that his new wife has all these obligations to her family back there including grown up brothers and sisters that she still helps out like kids. i think it may come down to the person who ended up accepting responsibility and the rest of the family members feel like they are free of any responsibilities. my opinions of course. for me personally i am not marrying a woman which turns into marrying her family no matter what country they are from. i will be up front about it too, i'll be out the door faster than it starts. its not the way i want to live, but thats why people are different.
@@RetiredGlobalLife at the end of the day it comes down to the people involved as far as "no money no honey" goes. either they are kool with it or not.
Thank You for this Video, Great explanation of how Thai women think. I have ran into both scenarios and hoping my next one is more of the latter in your video and will work out. So far so good. Love watching your video to get a better understanding of Thailand Life. I hope to retire over there soon. Su Su na
One other thing to consider which you didn't mention is that many Thai families are in debt and they may look upon a farang as someone who can pay off that debt. Many westerners will have a problem with this type of issue. Honest communication with your Thai partner about money issues and boundaries is imperative. If you wish to have a chance at a successful relationship, boundaries must be set from the beginning so nobody feels like they are being taken advantage of in the relationship.
I was new to the Philippines and found a lovely girl. I didn’t understand the culture and thought she was trying to rip me off but now I understand the culture is very similar to Thailand culture but it’s too late. She ended up marrying a German gentleman and living a happy life .
Thank you so much for this video . I'm going through a situation like this right now. I. Just moved here And have met a thai lady that I really like. Then I was thinking that all she Wanted is my money. I was going to talk to her about this but now I don't think I have to.. Excellent thank you
Thanks but you should still gently talk so she understands where you are.coming from as well. It helps if you understand each other's thinking. Good luck!
No money no honey is a quip far more applicable in western society than to SE Asia, Thailand in particular. The family first cultural focus is a virtue rather than a liability. I have low regard for those who are naïve enough to think a sex worker can be, in any way, an appropriate life partner. My Thai GF is a school teacher and I do occasionally help her out financially but not that often. When I do she is very grateful. The amount I give is significant to her but a drop in the bucket for me and makes her life a bit easier. If you truly care about someone, give them a gift once in awhile, brings joy to their life and yours.
Well said. But westerners do use that phrase all the time to describe Thai women and it bothers me. That's why I did the video. And there are tons of guys who fall for women in the trade. Seems incongruous but it happens.
@@RetiredGlobalLife Not so incongruous considering the contrast with how little attention guys get from women in the West today thanks to social media. If you're weak minded it's all to easy to fall for an attractive woman that showers you with attention, profession aside, it can be intoxicating. It's a fools paradise, and a fool and his money soon part company.
This is a great video, but wait there is more😅There is one aspect to add, you must find out how is the family. You definitely marry to the family, and your girl might be the best in the world, but if you marry to a family prone to problems, like gambling or they are keen to open businesses that fail, for example. You should find out first and make an informed decision. The problems will affect you, there is no ifs and buts.
@@RetiredGlobalLife Yes, you did, but greed is just one family problem. I've seen cases where the family is just not capable to run a business, they do everything possible to not ask for help, but the constant failures gets to you, one way or the other. Another real life example, one day you are seating, then the phone rings with a family member with a problem, not asking for money, but asking for a solution. You give the solution, just to find out that he didn't do what you suggested, and now the problem is bigger, since you came up with the initial solution, now you have to resolve the bigger problem. It goes to the point that instead of telling what to do, you find yourself doing it, so you limit the time spent resolving bigger problems. It becomes a part time job! It did affect the relationship, and they ended up splitting. There is no way out, you marry the family and all that comes with it. I can be good or bad, but do your due diligence to get to an informed decision.
I'm not sure I'll be coming to Chiang Mai anymore (I'm the one with bad arthritis from a motorcycle crash). I needed to postpone my trip for personal reasons and the woman I was talking to got very upset and started demanding money. That was a big red flag so I blocked her on Line. I'm looking for a place to settle year round so burning season rules out most of Northern Thailand. I still love watching your videos though.
Hi Randy, I think you opened a can of warms here. Let me comment about the other women,not the sex workers. That's clear cut. But the other women aren't. It depends what type of family you marry into, what economic strata of society and what education. The poorer they are and you marry the daughter ,they' think they won the jackpot. Compared to them you're a rich farang son in law. Their expectations will be money oriented. In this case your wife maybe the unfortunate meat in the sandwich, ever increasing pressure for financial requests. I don't blame them, everyone wants to climb out of poverty . However this situation wrecked relationships. Why,because the guy feels he is being taken advantage of. I agree with you about Thai culture and family values. I'm not as sure as you, about your total absorption into that family, if for instance, you go bankrupt and they have to support you. Your value is as a provider,not the other way around . That's what must be emphasized for guys interested in a Thai wife. It's not transactional but neither is it love regardless, poor or not. How many 68 year olds do you know with a big age gap partner who is skint yet his lady is madly in love with him? Of course there are those,maybe like you, and I don't know your financial standing , who marry into a well to do family ,maybe even better off than you. Different circumstances but you still have to make contributions. Why, because they need to feel proud that the son in law isn't a pauper. Appearances must be observed. Their" face.
Excellent thoughts as always. I intended to go into more detail but people seem to tune out the longer a video gets. It is a subject that can't be fully explored quickly. But I admit, I always see the best in people, not the worst. Luckily for me I seem to keep meeting nice people.
From what I've gathered, the "family" cohesiveness is generally a common trait among many Asian cultures, no? America, a long time ago, I think was that way too. In a typical farmhouse, there could be 3 or 4 generations living together. That was a long time ago though! Humans are meant to be social beings with tight familial bonds, we seem to have lost that. I am guilty as well. I'm a veritable 'hermit', I usually go out once a day to get food, but otherwise stay in my house.
It takes only a few K of Baht per month for a kid to make a difference or grandparents to stay out of poverty and debt. This is what the lady likes to see, stability, security, prosperity.
I’m making my first trip to Thailand next month, and I’m really thankful you took the time to give your thoughts on this subject. Since I’ve never been there, and never dated a Thai woman, I am no expert on the subject. Sometimes I think you found the unicorn when you found your lovely wife (or was it your clone that did that 🤔) … But I don’t want to make any assumptions until I’m there. I’m not going to hit some strip club on Nana Plaza, and then comment that all Thai women are pro’s. Thanks again for the video. I’m so looking forward to my stay in Thailand. I’m retiring next year, so it could have a bearing on where I set up shop, and retire to…
Thanks for the kind words about Joy. You'll be surprised at all the options Thailand offers for living, not just the tourist spots. Sadly there is some bad air in BKK at the moment. You might want to explore some of our cleaner air areas too.
Wonderful topic Randy Well explained I will add to your topic Depends 1. how much money the thai woman is asking for? 2. Why she is with you, Only because of your support? 3. Is she a gold digger?
Your list could go even longer. And don't forget the list about the guy, as the woman has her own standards. Is he only after her for sex? Will he tire of her in a month and move on? The risks go both ways...
Well stated Randy - BUT - everyone that is old enough to be impacted by this info is pretty well already formed. The guys that are singing the 'honey' song are doing so because they wanted porn life with no consequences. You have outlined the most basic human needs that all people learn when they mature. Some folks just don't want to mature. For a lot of various reasons. When they meet a 'sweetheart' that takes advantage of their adolescence they cry - - !@#$%. It is always someone else's fault. Thank you for the lesson. DO NOT expect results !!
The problem that i face dating thai girls with office jobs in their 30s is that they have money for them but for their pleasure they all try to ask me to support flight tickets to make them travel with me, so why do i have to pay double tickets for her own pleasure and take pictures where i will not be anyway there in the pic?
I imagine her income is much less than yours and she has little or no disposable income. I think many guys are okay with paying when they take their GF or wife on vacation, but we are all different. Our ladies do a lot to make us happy and most of us are not a great prize, so I see nothing wrong in being gracious and paying for dates etc.
Hahaha@RetiredGlobalLife ..most of us aren't a great prize? My wife thinks I'm a great prize, I just asked her, we are on holidays in Singapore. Giving the credit card a good spin. I think Joy would say you're a great prize! And vica versa. Just because we are aged it doesn't mean we're less of a prize, we're like a quality vintage wine. No?
It does. Often if you bring a Thai woman into your family, she will be nurturing for those who need help, like elderly parents. Re $, you have to recognize western incomes are literally ten times higher than in Thailand. Many struggle to make ends meet without supporting a western family.
I politely disagree. This is not in any way unique to Thai women, nor even to just Asian women. It is a common trait among women from many/most countries & cultures, incl. in the US. Simply put, and in general terms (meaning that there are always exceptions to the rule), immature women (ie. girls) are the only ones who marry purely for love. Mature women marry for stability, which includes family & financial security. If they are fortunate, or have the time/money to be selective, love comes along for the ride; if not, they can hope that it will develop, after the marriage. Note that the terms "immature" and "mature", in this context, do not pertain to physical age, but to intellectual & emotional development. But, please don't take my word for it. If you look back throughout history, women rarely, if ever, married for love. Marriage was always a means to achieve some sort of stability in life, incl. financial, for themselves and/or for the family. If there is any real difference between Western women and Asian (Thai) women, I would argue that there are simply a larger percentage of immature women (girls) in today's Western world, due to the much longer influence of idealized relationships between men & women, popularized by Western entertainment media. This is just my two baht worth of opinion. Please feel free to ignore & move on! :)
Thanks for the comment and I somewhat agree. I get offended that the $ issue is directed so much at Thai women, at least the ones tourist guys meet. And everyone, man or woman, marries to make a better life for themselves and to be with a partner. I disagree that love only goes along for the ride. I guess I'm a romantic. I think love carries us through many hard times and makes life worth living.
@@RetiredGlobalLife Definitely a romantic... 5555! You watched too many of the wrong movies while growing up! :) In any case, I was talking about how women see relationships. Immature men prioritize physical appearance - love comes later, if at all; too often, it is just about s*x. This fact is also well supported by history. I too dislike how many men talk s**t (pardon my French) about Thai women. I do not like how many assume that all Thai women in Pattaya are workng girls. But, I also do not like how they demonize the workiing girls. The sad truth is that most, if not all, of those guys were to blame, not the women. They are looking for romance in a place where it does not, and cannot, exist. When you get involved with a working girl, the relationship is always going to be transactional, to a greater or lesser degree, no matter how long the relationship lasts and no matter how it develops. Can she becoma a friend? Sure. Can she fall in love? Certainly. Will love completely replace financial considerations in the equation? Absolutely not. No working girl is an immature, starry-eyed romantic who thinks that love is enough; the job does not allow it. Are working girls in relationships just deceitful scammers? Some, maybe, but probably not most. A working girl is paid to do & say whatever will make a man happy, including "I love you" - that, in a nutshell, is the job. If the man wants a "relationship", then the working girl will provide the illusion of one - again, it is just part of the service. And, when the woman feels that the financial return for her investment of time & energy is no longer sufficient, the "relationship", aka transaction, ends and she looks for a better ROI. Just an upfront & honest business deal, as long as the customer does not indulge in self-delusion. If you think about it, that is what the movie "Pretty Woman" was really about. Richard Gere's character was paying Julia Roberts' character to create an illusion of love & relationship. It wasn't real, but Gere's character began to delude himself into thinking it was, or could be. And, at the end, would Roberts' character still have hooked up with him, if it had turned out that he was actually a pauper, and not a fantastically rich hi-so? Hmm... they never did make a sequel, did they? And, when asked, Roberts reportedly said "I think he (Gere's character) passed away peacefully in his sleep from a heart attack, smiling. And now she runs his business."
Sorry, Tony, impossible to answer. Too many factors about your health and your desires. Ask Natt whose contact info as an agent is in the Insurance video. Take care and good luck.
Anyone know what happened to Simon who used to operate the "Land of Smiles" TH-cam channel. Did he go back to Thailand after having to leave because of the pandemic wrecking his budget and homestay venture?
@@RetiredGlobalLife The only bad is she traveled with me to Thailand on my l last trip. past April. 😀 All good and she loved it. We did CM for Songkran for the real experience, Krabi, Bangkok and some asides.
@ That's not all that I got. I just don't want to lie to myself. It's everywhere like this; man is always paying. The only difference is if you will be divorced and throwed out from your house by your wife if you can't provide anymore. At my work, only one woman who is still married; others are divorced their husbands already.
What about that: She asks you for money; you take that amount and spend a week or so with some bar girl on the islands. Then, come back and show your girlfriend pictures and videos from the trip, and tell her that if she asks for money again, you will do it again. Now, it's Her call on how to deal with her relatives.
@@simon_illyan I think you will always be single... or unhappily in a relationship... if you just think about guarding your money. If you lived in your home country and had a wife or GF, you would not pay for things? That's just life. Or are you so amazing that women are so lucky to take care of your needs just for the honor of doing so. You are not paying for a relationship. It is a balance, and likely she offers a lot, and one of the few things you can actually offer is to pay for some things. But do as you wish. Whatever makes you happy.
@@RetiredGlobalLife Between use and be used, I choose not to use and not to be used. I despise transactional relationships, and I'll never be part of one. When you do something out of kindness and generosity and not expect anything in return, it is very different from “prepaying good treatment.” My example up there was a hypothetical. I wouldn't be part of either of them. I was talking about people who had been used and got tired of being used over and over again as a solution to their problems.
It's not understood by me. I think he is trying to make guys understand what's required of them in Thai culture . I think if you're an expat living here you should know how things work here.But some guys want to run their lives and relationships here as if they were under Western conditions. Then things go wrong.
@@RetiredGlobalLife Randy, I don't know why you lose time answering to these kind of people who despise you. Just erase their comment and move to the next one!
Unfortunately for me is yes. My missis is with me for money. But im a 54yo living like im in my 20s. I get laid a good 12 times a month. Would be more if she didn't have her crimson tide days. So im still happy
Hi Randy, great video. You hit the nail 100% on the head. I was married to a Thai woman for 15 years (sadly she passed away in 2023) and, yes, I provided money to her and her family- supporting education primarily - but also other reasons. I can wholeheartedly say that they rewarded me with inclusion in the family, and unending caring and support. My wife “repaid” my financial support (and she did have a good career herself) with love, service and patience with me (!). It’s definitely worth making the effort to understand and appreciate the Thai way of family support. Thanks again.
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Hi Randy, great video. You hit the nail 100% on the head. I was married to a Thai woman for 15 years (sadly she passed away in 2023) and, yes, I provided money to her and her family- supporting education primarily - but also other reasons. I can wholeheartedly say that they rewarded me with inclusion in the family, and unending caring and support. My wife “repaid” my financial support (and she did have a good career herself) with love, service and patience with me (!). It’s definitely worth making the effort to understand and appreciate the Thai way of family support. Thanks again.
Got it twice. Thanks!
Very well said and on point.
So sorry for your loss.
My wife and I have been together 8 years and live in NZ. I resisted supporting her mother initially but after witnessing how hard she workes to survive on her small farm, I was happy to help. Seeing the difference the small amount I give her each month, makes to her life is very gratifying.
Thanks for sharing your story. Appreciated!
Nice video Randy. I've been coming to Thailand for 12 years, I've done the whole Gogo, Freelancer, massage, etc. I've also met great Thai women of character. People like me getting closer to retirement should be cultivating friendships every year with virtuous people so when we move our lives will be healthy. It is good to experience things but eventually make wise and healthy decisions when we become a resident. Keep the great content coming
Thanks for the compliment and good idea. Great if you can slowly build up relationships with quality people so when you do settle in that area you have a small group of trusted people.
One of your very best videos!
I have been with a Thai woman for nearly 6 years now and have been married to her for a little more than a year now. But she is disabled and her ability to earn enough money can be very difficult for her. Plus I told her after a year or so I wanted to share some my money with her. But not to ever give her all of my money. That way I can make her life better by giving her some money each month. No matter who you decide to fall in love with you are going to spend money on her. That's just a fact of life. My wife today makes me very happy and I make her life very happy too. Being in love with someone, and the honey, makes your life so much better,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Great comment! Thanks for the input.
I’m a retired attorney married 16 years to my Thai wife. Yes it’s about money. 100%. But you are right. It’s all cultural. Financial security is number 1 in this culture. If you can’t provide it you can’t afford a Thai woman and she won’t be hanging around - nor would any woman with any sense. It’s really that simple. Now if you can provide well she will be a great mate as is mine. Of course none of this applies to prostitutes. You shouldn’t be getting into relationships with hookers and you get what you get there and that’s your own fault. You’re a guy out with prostitutes. What kind of guy does she think you are? You’ll never have any respect from her nor will she ever be able to normally pair bond after being with so many guys. I gladly assist my wife’s family as well and I’ve been rewarded far beyond the money for doing so. My father did the same thing. Mom was a housewife and when my grandparents retired they came to live with us. That doesn’t really happen in the US anymore. I see younger guys here who really don’t have a healthy view of money and it’s no wonder their relationships fail.
Very astute comment, Bill. Big thanks.
This was a great episode! I had a conversation with my Thai fiancé this morning and as a Westerner, it can be difficult… Especially trying to explain it to other westerners… her family has accepted me and I love her mother and I understand exactly what you have said…
That's great you openly discuss it. That can solve so much if you try to understand each other's cultural bias on the issue.
Well done. You handled this difficult subject very sincerely and and well presented. Thank you!
You are very kind! Thanks.
Hello Randy, I can appreciate what you're saying about giving with no expectations of receiving. But I am sure the members of the family you are assisting show their gratitude in some way. I would be interested in hearing this.
Yes, when all is right it is a nice balance.
It's a hard man who begrudges helping a warm hearted, struggling Thai lady. You only have to look at their living standards to realise they're doing it tough. Yet, their smile, beautifully pressed clothes & immaculate personal grooming, shows just how much they would value a helping hand. You should never look down on someone unless you're helping them up.
Super comment, Randy. Lots of "hard men" responding to this video. I wonder how they find happiness within themselves. One guy complained about having to pay for his poorer GF's plane ticket when they went on vacation. What a prize of a man!
Hey Randy,
Another excellent and informative video, this time on what can be a very complex, sensitive, and nuanced subject! You explained it very well and crammed a lot in such a short time.
Kudos!
Cowboy Bill, you are the best!
I am a 59-year-old Malaysian man, but I don’t fall into the farang category. I enjoy following your channel and listening to your perspectives. Your explanation of how Thais view family values resonates with me, as similar principles are shared in this part of the world. The expectation for women to support their birth families, as well as the practice of expressing affection and respect through visible gestures, is not unique to Thai culture-it is a common tradition across Southeast Asia.
Yes, true! Thanks.
Excellent as usual. Thank you very much for the info
Very kind of you!
excellent content as usual!
Glenda! Always so nice!
The rules for relationships are simple, no matter WHERE you live.
You have to be FRIENDS FIRST if you want it to last very long.
If it's all about the boom boom (that tingle that makes you jingle!), your brain ain't processing important cues and clues...and friendship is superficial.
Since it's superficial, the odds are HIGH that it's....transactional. Transactions are normal, of course. Goes both ways, right? Just be aware and have fun! don't go mental when it all goes pear-shaped!
Yes, you are right! I've always felt the be friends first is important.
I understand and agree with you.
Thank you for a great video
Thank you, Les! Visit again.
Thank you for another great video. The look in Bad Randy's eyes when he realizes yes, he's the clone is gold!
Thanks! My Oscar is in the mail!
You are missing one very important fact. A lot of this depends on the parents/family. There are some that see the farang as an ATM. I have friends with Thai wives that vary considerably by the pressure exerted from within. I've seen one friend take the whole family out for a meal when he and his wife were the ones that wanted to go out. It takes two or three vehicles to get them all there. He pays for everything. The same happens if they want to go on vacation...they all have to go and it's a huge expense. Both he and his wife are wonderful people but the family is very aggressively wanting. My inlaws don't want anything from us. My dowry was returned after the ceremony. All money needs come from the family and the daughter is expected to comply. The issue is that there are many freeloaders in the family. Men with no intention of working if money from a farang is available. They will show up for any meal and expect to be fed and boozed up. They won't be there to help you load up the vehicle or work on any land you may have.
You are right about what you said except that I missed that fact. I put up a text card that says specifically that... not all families are good hearted. Some want $. Thanks for your great comment and showing how it goes both ways.
keywords "many freeloaders in the family".
A wonderful explanation and lesson of life.
Thanks for the comment!
Every situation is different there is no set formula.My wife of 21 years when we met had a job as an accountant with a large company in Bangkok,her own condo and at 42 never had a relationship with any Thai man as she didnt trust them and had seen so many friends finish up with a child and no job due to marriage breakdown.She has 11 brothers and sisters and parents still on the family farm.Im never asked for money.We dated for a year before making the decision to marry."Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" is a motto to remember.
Great message, Michael. Thanks for sharing not all Thai women fit some negative stereotype. Even on this video I'm getting lots of push back on just the idea. Glad you found a great life here.
You raised some good points here Randy ..
Thanks, Jon. Good to hear from you again.
valid points and explanations. i have a cousin that went back to laos and married a woman there. he complains that his new wife has all these obligations to her family back there including grown up brothers and sisters that she still helps out like kids. i think it may come down to the person who ended up accepting responsibility and the rest of the family members feel like they are free of any responsibilities. my opinions of course. for me personally i am not marrying a woman which turns into marrying her family no matter what country they are from. i will be up front about it too, i'll be out the door faster than it starts. its not the way i want to live, but thats why people are different.
Nothing you said is wrong, and it is a wise person who has this discussion with their partner, even her family, in advance.
@@RetiredGlobalLife at the end of the day it comes down to the people involved as far as "no money no honey" goes. either they are kool with it or not.
Thank You for this Video, Great explanation of how Thai women think. I have ran into both scenarios and hoping my next one is more of the latter in your video and will work out. So far so good. Love watching your video to get a better understanding of Thailand Life. I hope to retire over there soon. Su Su na
Thanks! And good luck to you here.
Prfect vlog.......
One of the best about Thai money colture.
Thank you
Thanks so much!!
One other thing to consider which you didn't mention is that many Thai families are in debt and they may look upon a farang as someone who can pay off that debt. Many westerners will have a problem with this type of issue. Honest communication with your Thai partner about money issues and boundaries is imperative. If you wish to have a chance at a successful relationship, boundaries must be set from the beginning so nobody feels like they are being taken advantage of in the relationship.
Yes, good thought. I wish I had talked about the importance to communicate on each other's concepts of spending money.
I was new to the Philippines and found a lovely girl. I didn’t understand the culture and thought she was trying to rip me off but now I understand the culture is very similar to Thailand culture but it’s too late. She ended up marrying a German gentleman and living a happy life .
Ah sad story, Gordon. But I hope it is your turn to meet someone nice.
@ thanks Randy 🤞
Thank you so much for this video . I'm going through a situation like this right now. I.
Just moved here And have met a thai lady that I really like. Then I was thinking that all she Wanted is my money. I was going to talk to her about this but now I don't think I have to.. Excellent thank you
Thanks but you should still gently talk so she understands where you are.coming from as well. It helps if you understand each other's thinking. Good luck!
No money no honey is a quip far more applicable in western society than to SE Asia, Thailand in particular. The family first cultural focus is a virtue rather than a liability. I have low regard for those who are naïve enough to think a sex worker can be, in any way, an appropriate life partner. My Thai GF is a school teacher and I do occasionally help her out financially but not that often. When I do she is very grateful. The amount I give is significant to her but a drop in the bucket for me and makes her life a bit easier. If you truly care about someone, give them a gift once in awhile, brings joy to their life and yours.
Well said. But westerners do use that phrase all the time to describe Thai women and it bothers me. That's why I did the video. And there are tons of guys who fall for women in the trade. Seems incongruous but it happens.
@@RetiredGlobalLife Not so incongruous considering the contrast with how little attention guys get from women in the West today thanks to social media. If you're weak minded it's all to easy to fall for an attractive woman that showers you with attention, profession aside, it can be intoxicating. It's a fools paradise, and a fool and his money soon part company.
Thank you for another great video! How do you make the clone? 😂😂😂
Ah, not very well, haha, as the line was often visible. You shoot it twice without moving the camera, then create a split screen.
@@RetiredGlobalLife and there was me thinking you had a twin brother
@@RetiredGlobalLife I thought it was very effective. You have a great sense of humor!
This is a great video, but wait there is more😅There is one aspect to add, you must find out how is the family. You definitely marry to the family, and your girl might be the best in the world, but if you marry to a family prone to problems, like gambling or they are keen to open businesses that fail, for example. You should find out first and make an informed decision. The problems will affect you, there is no ifs and buts.
Very true! 100% right, and I did put in a text card in the video that not all families are great on this issue. Some are greedy.
@@RetiredGlobalLife Yes, you did, but greed is just one family problem. I've seen cases where the family is just not capable to run a business, they do everything possible to not ask for help, but the constant failures gets to you, one way or the other. Another real life example, one day you are seating, then the phone rings with a family member with a problem, not asking for money, but asking for a solution. You give the solution, just to find out that he didn't do what you suggested, and now the problem is bigger, since you came up with the initial solution, now you have to resolve the bigger problem. It goes to the point that instead of telling what to do, you find yourself doing it, so you limit the time spent resolving bigger problems. It becomes a part time job! It did affect the relationship, and they ended up splitting. There is no way out, you marry the family and all that comes with it. I can be good or bad, but do your due diligence to get to an informed decision.
I'm not sure I'll be coming to Chiang Mai anymore (I'm the one with bad arthritis from a motorcycle crash). I needed to postpone my trip for personal reasons and the woman I was talking to got very upset and started demanding money. That was a big red flag so I blocked her on Line. I'm looking for a place to settle year round so burning season rules out most of Northern Thailand. I still love watching your videos though.
Thanks for the compliment. Sounds like a good idea not to come now. Sorry to hear about the $ situation. Better to know early.
Hi Randy, I think you opened a can of warms here.
Let me comment about the other women,not the sex workers. That's clear cut.
But the other women aren't.
It depends what type of family you marry into, what economic strata of society and what education.
The poorer they are and you marry the daughter ,they' think they won the jackpot.
Compared to them you're a rich farang son in law.
Their expectations will be money oriented. In this case your wife maybe the unfortunate meat in the sandwich, ever increasing pressure for financial requests.
I don't blame them, everyone wants to climb out of poverty .
However this situation wrecked relationships.
Why,because the guy feels he is being taken advantage of.
I agree with you about Thai culture and family values. I'm not as sure as you, about your total absorption into that family, if for instance, you go bankrupt and they have to support you.
Your value is as a provider,not the other way around .
That's what must be emphasized for guys interested in a Thai wife.
It's not transactional but neither is it love regardless, poor or not.
How many 68 year olds do you know with a big age gap partner who is skint yet his lady is madly in love with him?
Of course there are those,maybe like you, and I don't know your financial standing , who marry into a well to do family ,maybe even better off than you. Different circumstances but you still have to make contributions.
Why, because they need to feel proud that the son in law isn't a pauper.
Appearances must be observed. Their" face.
Excellent thoughts as always. I intended to go into more detail but people seem to tune out the longer a video gets. It is a subject that can't be fully explored quickly. But I admit, I always see the best in people, not the worst. Luckily for me I seem to keep meeting nice people.
Good comment. I agree with most of what you have written.
Thanks Randy
Big thanks!
From what I've gathered, the "family" cohesiveness is generally a common trait among many Asian cultures, no? America, a long time ago, I think was that way too. In a typical farmhouse, there could be 3 or 4 generations living together. That was a long time ago though! Humans are meant to be social beings with tight familial bonds, we seem to have lost that. I am guilty as well. I'm a veritable 'hermit', I usually go out once a day to get food, but otherwise stay in my house.
Yes, I'd say true in Asia overall. Nothing wrong with being alone after a lifetime in a "group" if that makes you happy.
It takes only a few K of Baht per month for a kid to make a difference or grandparents to stay out of poverty and debt. This is what the lady likes to see, stability, security, prosperity.
Yes, you get it.
I’m making my first trip to Thailand next month, and I’m really thankful you took the time to give your thoughts on this subject. Since I’ve never been there, and never dated a Thai woman, I am no expert on the subject. Sometimes I think you found the unicorn when you found your lovely wife (or was it your clone that did that 🤔) … But I don’t want to make any assumptions until I’m there. I’m not going to hit some strip club on Nana Plaza, and then comment that all Thai women are pro’s.
Thanks again for the video. I’m so looking forward to my stay in Thailand. I’m retiring next year, so it could have a bearing on where I set up shop, and retire to…
Thanks for the kind words about Joy. You'll be surprised at all the options Thailand offers for living, not just the tourist spots. Sadly there is some bad air in BKK at the moment. You might want to explore some of our cleaner air areas too.
Wonderful topic Randy
Well explained
I will add to your topic
Depends
1. how much money the thai woman is asking for?
2. Why she is with you, Only because of your support?
3. Is she a gold digger?
Your list could go even longer. And don't forget the list about the guy, as the woman has her own standards. Is he only after her for sex? Will he tire of her in a month and move on? The risks go both ways...
No money no honey… no honey more money!
555, true enough! Good one! But life is sweeter with honey. (Sorry, too corny, right?)
Well stated Randy - BUT - everyone that is old enough to be impacted by this info is pretty well already formed. The guys that are singing the 'honey' song are doing so because they wanted porn life with no consequences. You have outlined the most basic human needs that all people learn when they mature. Some folks just don't want to mature. For a lot of various reasons. When they meet a 'sweetheart' that takes advantage of their adolescence they cry - - !@#$%. It is always someone else's fault. Thank you for the lesson. DO NOT expect results !!
Haha, well said. Yes, those guys are fixed in their mindset, and likely think any woman is blessed just to be with them.
👏
Thank you!
I struggled with this in my Filipina relationship.
Yes, I've heard that is one thing the two countries have in common.
I need a clone to do my laundry? Oh wait, my Thai girl does that 😂
Ah, you got it made. But I bet you are a great BF and do things for her.
👍
Thanks!
The problem that i face dating thai girls with office jobs in their 30s is that they have money for them but for their pleasure they all try to ask me to support flight tickets to make them travel with me, so why do i have to pay double tickets for her own pleasure and take pictures where i will not be anyway there in the pic?
I imagine her income is much less than yours and she has little or no disposable income. I think many guys are okay with paying when they take their GF or wife on vacation, but we are all different. Our ladies do a lot to make us happy and most of us are not a great prize, so I see nothing wrong in being gracious and paying for dates etc.
Hahaha@RetiredGlobalLife ..most of us aren't a great prize?
My wife thinks I'm a great prize, I just asked her, we are on holidays in Singapore. Giving the credit card a good spin. I think Joy would say you're a great prize! And vica versa. Just because we are aged it doesn't mean we're less of a prize, we're like a quality vintage wine. No?
Well, I would give her an opportunity to take care of my family. Why shouldn't it work both ways?
It does. Often if you bring a Thai woman into your family, she will be nurturing for those who need help, like elderly parents. Re $, you have to recognize western incomes are literally ten times higher than in Thailand. Many struggle to make ends meet without supporting a western family.
I politely disagree. This is not in any way unique to Thai women, nor even to just Asian women. It is a common trait among women from many/most countries & cultures, incl. in the US.
Simply put, and in general terms (meaning that there are always exceptions to the rule), immature women (ie. girls) are the only ones who marry purely for love. Mature women marry for stability, which includes family & financial security. If they are fortunate, or have the time/money to be selective, love comes along for the ride; if not, they can hope that it will develop, after the marriage. Note that the terms "immature" and "mature", in this context, do not pertain to physical age, but to intellectual & emotional development.
But, please don't take my word for it. If you look back throughout history, women rarely, if ever, married for love. Marriage was always a means to achieve some sort of stability in life, incl. financial, for themselves and/or for the family.
If there is any real difference between Western women and Asian (Thai) women, I would argue that there are simply a larger percentage of immature women (girls) in today's Western world, due to the much longer influence of idealized relationships between men & women, popularized by Western entertainment media.
This is just my two baht worth of opinion. Please feel free to ignore & move on! :)
Thanks for the comment and I somewhat agree. I get offended that the $ issue is directed so much at Thai women, at least the ones tourist guys meet. And everyone, man or woman, marries to make a better life for themselves and to be with a partner. I disagree that love only goes along for the ride. I guess I'm a romantic. I think love carries us through many hard times and makes life worth living.
@@RetiredGlobalLife Definitely a romantic... 5555! You watched too many of the wrong movies while growing up! :)
In any case, I was talking about how women see relationships. Immature men prioritize physical appearance - love comes later, if at all; too often, it is just about s*x. This fact is also well supported by history.
I too dislike how many men talk s**t (pardon my French) about Thai women. I do not like how many assume that all Thai women in Pattaya are workng girls. But, I also do not like how they demonize the workiing girls.
The sad truth is that most, if not all, of those guys were to blame, not the women. They are looking for romance in a place where it does not, and cannot, exist. When you get involved with a working girl, the relationship is always going to be transactional, to a greater or lesser degree, no matter how long the relationship lasts and no matter how it develops. Can she becoma a friend? Sure. Can she fall in love? Certainly. Will love completely replace financial considerations in the equation? Absolutely not. No working girl is an immature, starry-eyed romantic who thinks that love is enough; the job does not allow it.
Are working girls in relationships just deceitful scammers? Some, maybe, but probably not most. A working girl is paid to do & say whatever will make a man happy, including "I love you" - that, in a nutshell, is the job. If the man wants a "relationship", then the working girl will provide the illusion of one - again, it is just part of the service. And, when the woman feels that the financial return for her investment of time & energy is no longer sufficient, the "relationship", aka transaction, ends and she looks for a better ROI. Just an upfront & honest business deal, as long as the customer does not indulge in self-delusion.
If you think about it, that is what the movie "Pretty Woman" was really about. Richard Gere's character was paying Julia Roberts' character to create an illusion of love & relationship. It wasn't real, but Gere's character began to delude himself into thinking it was, or could be. And, at the end, would Roberts' character still have hooked up with him, if it had turned out that he was actually a pauper, and not a fantastically rich hi-so?
Hmm... they never did make a sequel, did they? And, when asked, Roberts reportedly said "I think he (Gere's character) passed away peacefully in his sleep from a heart attack, smiling. And now she runs his business."
Randy best company to buy insurance from getting my Retirement Visa
Sorry, Tony, impossible to answer. Too many factors about your health and your desires. Ask Natt whose contact info as an agent is in the Insurance video. Take care and good luck.
Anyone know what happened to Simon who used to operate the "Land of Smiles" TH-cam channel. Did he go back to Thailand after having to leave because of the pandemic wrecking his budget and homestay venture?
Sorry, I don't know him, personally or professionally.
I remember him, but also don’t know anything about him
My wife has more money than me ... I'm good ! 😁
It's nice when that happens!
@@RetiredGlobalLife The only bad is she traveled with me to Thailand on my l last trip. past April. 😀 All good and she loved it. We did CM for Songkran for the real experience, Krabi, Bangkok and some asides.
So, at the end of the day, you are an ATM anyway. Good girl or bad girl, it doesn't matter.🥺
Sorry that is all you got out of the video.
@ That's not all that I got. I just don't want to lie to myself. It's everywhere like this; man is always paying. The only difference is if you will be divorced and throwed out from your house by your wife if you can't provide anymore. At my work, only one woman who is still married; others are divorced their husbands already.
Thats to simplistic an answer.
What about that: She asks you for money; you take that amount and spend a week or so with some bar girl on the islands. Then, come back and show your girlfriend pictures and videos from the trip, and tell her that if she asks for money again, you will do it again. Now, it's Her call on how to deal with her relatives.
Sounds like a good way to end your relationship.
@ Or fixing the money drain 🤗 I don't understand why you should normalize the paying for a relationship.
@@simon_illyan I think you will always be single... or unhappily in a relationship... if you just think about guarding your money. If you lived in your home country and had a wife or GF, you would not pay for things? That's just life. Or are you so amazing that women are so lucky to take care of your needs just for the honor of doing so. You are not paying for a relationship. It is a balance, and likely she offers a lot, and one of the few things you can actually offer is to pay for some things. But do as you wish. Whatever makes you happy.
@@simon_illyan..now who is focused on money?
You use it as blackmail.
You'll never get a decent Thai woman like that.
You don't deserve one.
@@RetiredGlobalLife Between use and be used, I choose not to use and not to be used. I despise transactional relationships, and I'll never be part of one.
When you do something out of kindness and generosity and not expect anything in return, it is very different from “prepaying good treatment.”
My example up there was a hypothetical. I wouldn't be part of either of them. I was talking about people who had been used and got tired of being used over and over again as a solution to their problems.
I think you are making this video to please your wife, it is understood
Ah, so cynical, George! Sorry my reasoning did not make sense to you.
It's not understood by me.
I think he is trying to make guys understand what's required of them in Thai culture .
I think if you're an expat living here you should know how things work here.But some guys want to run their lives and relationships here as if they were under Western conditions.
Then things go wrong.
@@RetiredGlobalLife Randy, I don't know why you lose time answering to these kind of people who despise you. Just erase their comment and move to the next one!
Too much cornball video, just tell your info/story.
Plenty of channels out there that are not "cornball". Enjoy them.
Unfortunately for me is yes. My missis is with me for money. But im a 54yo living like im in my 20s. I get laid a good 12 times a month. Would be more if she didn't have her crimson tide days. So im still happy
I guess if both people are getting what they want, that's a win for both! Best wishes to you both.
@RetiredGlobalLife thanks
Hi Randy, great video. You hit the nail 100% on the head. I was married to a Thai woman for 15 years (sadly she passed away in 2023) and, yes, I provided money to her and her family- supporting education primarily - but also other reasons. I can wholeheartedly say that they rewarded me with inclusion in the family, and unending caring and support. My wife “repaid” my financial support (and she did have a good career herself) with love, service and patience with me (!). It’s definitely worth making the effort to understand and appreciate the Thai way of family support. Thanks again.
Thanks so much for your nice post, Nick. And so sorry to hear about your wife passing away.