Rule of thumb: If someone says something is completely okay, and doesn't want you to tell the person directly affected by it and gets mad when you do, it was never okay.
Even if OP had believed their son, it probably would have come up in casual conversation eventually. The son is lucky the discussion happened privately, not at great grandma Ethel's birthday party or something.
what gets me is that there are so many people who blame the person who revealed the truth, as opposed to the one who did the bad thing! Like, it's one thing if it's a long time in the past. At that point I can kind of see the deed being "under the bridge". Even criminal law works like that. But this was ACTIVELY GOING ON! No way is OP the bad guy!
that’s such a wise observation. It really highlights the double standards that can exist in relationships. If something truly is okay, why wouldn’t someone want to be open and honest about it?
Story 1: Anyone else remember the story of another girl who did a job like this? She was part of a sexy maid service and ended up being sent to one of her professor's houses. They didn't do anything and cancelled the service ... only for the professor to run to the Dean and lie that the OP was trying to sexually seduce him and because of his seniority, the OP basically had to drop out and transfer to a different college, even though she did nothing wrong. The professor was just an AH who was scared OP would spread it around first.
Yeah I remember it was a Best of segment however it wasn’t best due to OPs name getting dragged in the mud while the professor was in the clear. She also lived in a religious area so even her family scorned her
@@lorilancaster5917 how did we go from "temple-sponsored naughty services" to "oh no you show someone your mammaries? HELL!" Religion used to be cool ^^
@@NerobyrneNot trying to ruin the comment but that was some cultures. Others were still very puritan. But I definitely agree that civilization has regressed. Even in Christianity Jesus was cool with prostitutes and was like "we're all equals". But of course people forget that...
@@RiveroftheWither- I’m leaning towards the latter too. Especially if OP only has one child, there’s no other behavior to compare to on a regular basis.
@@RiveroftheWitherBoy mom is So toxic. I am in my twenties now and I went to high school with a guy whose mom wore Boy moms tops and hats and Stanley mugs It was literally her entire personality. I see people who had girls. Oh I couldn't have girls. There's so much drama. And now her son is grown up and he's like stunted in his mental development. He still acts like a little boy. And I swear to God she's imagining herself as his wife because it's just so inappropriate. Especially after their Halloween costume this year. Him and his girlfriend went as Victor and the corpse Bride and his mother went as Victoria. I don't know if you seen the Corp Bride, but Victoria is the woman that Victor marries and loves at the end of the movie. That's really weird. Everybody commented on it.
Story 2: On what planet is it okay to cheat on your spouse, lie to your parents and inevitably destroy said spouse’s trust, but calling out a cheater and let the spouse being cheated on know what’s happening isn’t?! NTA
@@Nintenja889Reminded me of Last Podcast On the Left the other day, where Henry had his sister join the show. Sister: "I'm the prettier one, but you still have the bigger boobs." 😅
I’m thinking about Greys Anatomy where someone dissed a woman doctor for being an underwear model which she taunted him that because of that job she comfortably paid her way through med school while he’s 200k in debt
Oh story 2 got me RILED UP. NO, NO, NO. You don't get to be complicated when you created the conundrum. You can't go like "I would have my kid, if it wasn't for you, meddling dad!" when you wouldn't have any issue if you hadn't strayed in the first place. OP, take the move first, throw them div papers to that wife of yours. Take her up on the offer and see how she'll switch up.
the fact she mad that tell me two thing either she want a grandbaby that badly or worst she cheat on OP or what worst that she cheat and OP son probably ain't there and agree Op should get that divorce paper
@@SoldierSpiderx Fr. I always have to side eye parents that defend their kids when they do something foul. And her threatening divorce when the son lied to them about the situation makes it obvious that she fully knew he was cheating from the beginning. She just didn't care about how it'd affect that poor girl.
@@untitled-gv3qp fact if I was OP I would get a DNA test just in case and if the son still mind, I still will divorce and if son ain't mint, I would let him know his mom it a hoe and I not your daddy
"You're not loyal to your family, so how can I be sure you'll be loyal to me?" "Because I clearly hate cheaters, and you don't. So how can I be sure _you_ won't cheat?" I agree, he should push back against his wife. She's being an enabler of her son and emotionally manipulative towards OP.
@@jeremygilbert7989Some people will pay just to watch a topless woman clean. If they want to pay that much, that's on them. Like how people will pay thousands on thousands for p×rn.
@jeremygilbert7989 a lot of topless or lingerie maids get paid through a company rather than free lancing it, which can be dangerous. So there is a good chance that is what she's getting paid without having to do anything else.
Absolutely. If you're aware somebody might be cheating on someone you care about, and the person being cheated on finds out you knew and didn't tell them, that'll make the whole situation hurt even more. It's incredibly difficult (often impossible) to rebuild that sort of broken trust.
Here's the update on the last story: Her male friend reached out to OP on Instagram, the one she used to hook up with. He asked if OP was dating the ex, and OP told him what happened. He actually apologized. He said he didn't know that they were still dating. He said that the ex was talking mad shit about OP, and he was confused. Apparently the ex gf told him they broke up months ago. And they had been hooking up regularly since. Yes, including the trip. The guy even showed OP some pics of the two of them kissing during the trip. So that explains why she never wanted OP to meet them. So all OP's suspicions were correct.
'it's just a mess' No girl, the issue is not the mess, the issue is he thinks all chores are now YOUR job because you are the wife. Sexist, disrespectful bs. He can go back to the man you agreed to marry, or you should divorce him.
I'm usually leery of assigning words ending in "ist" but in this case sexist is right on. Going a little deeper too what sort of person is content living in a place such as OP describes? To me that could indicate a deeper problem.
@@meddlinmegs If on the improbability that the husband does turn over a new leaf, he should put his money where his mouth is and call a crime scene clean-up service.
there's an update she's divorcing him. Best thing : She was the big bread winner in the couple !!! She was paying 75% of the bills while the dead beat husband only was paying 25%
As a topless maid myself- _Cause I clean without a shirt on, or pants, or anything doesn't really matter 🤷🏿_ NOT THE POINT- But dang she's making bank And I only get paid in pizza when I do it 💀 (Ty bf)
3rd story: Yup. Dude was doing the chores during the dating phase gritting his teeth, just so eventually after getting married the wife can do everything from that point forward. And of course he had to call mommy for help. This is why you probably should date a bit longer. If your girlfriend/boyfriend is just pretending to be some Grade-A dream wife/husband material, I'd guess most of them start insisting on taking the next step because they can't handle the pressure of hiding their true self that long.
I don't think dating longer fixes manipulative people. If anything it just intensifies the sunk cost feeling. The longer you date before the switch to their true colours the more they say, can I really throw away 3, 5, 8, 15 years over a few chores? Sadly there's no quick fix or 5 step lesson to help us weed out bad people. All we can do is work on ourselves to hopefully have enough resolve to leave when people treat us poorly
@@sailorsunsoldierno dating people longer before rushing in and getting married and moving in together is always a good idea. In fact as somebody who works in victim services when people ask me how they avoid getting into an abusive relationship. That is the number. One advice we will tell people. Slow down. Don't jump in with both feet. Pay attention to the behavior. Is the love bombing too intense. Do some research on what the person's saying. I mean you don't buy a car without doing research on that vehicle. It should be the same way with a relationship. And it takes time slow down. Of course that isn't going to protect you from 100% of all abusive relationships. But it's the best way.
@@LLandS18 totally agree. Rushing in rarely pays off. Not only rushing through relationship milestones but also rushing right back into dating as soon as a relationship ends
Story 2:Yo,cheaters. Here's 3 easy steps to get your partners back and undo your actions Step 1:Lay on your bed Step 2:Close your eyes Step 3:Keep dreaming,You filthy bastards
*Chores story: I just saw MORE INFO on OP's post.* She's a nurse and pays 75% of the household expenses. He believes that men don't clean in marriages. All domestic responsibilities are OP's and he should lounge around when he's off work. He doesn't care that she's not home, and it was his grandpa's house they've lived in for the past 2 years, which to him reinforces that he shouldn't have to do anything because it's his house, not hers. She feels like he thinks he trapped her, but she's falling out of love with him and is almost definitely going for that divorce.
The chores one: Invite MiL over to the house and see if she still has the same opinion. I'm betting he's downplaying just how bad it is. If she still backs him up, you'll know where the attitude came from.
I am visualizing a somewhat cartoonish looking house and yard, I'd not be a big fan but for heavens sake I'd much prefer that to a yard with two junked cars, weeds up to the car windows and a pit bull chained up in front. If that guy moved to an HOA neighborhood we'd be hearing stories of him as the new HOA president.
Final story had an update, she was cheating. I believe it was the guy she was sleeping with that contacted OP, basically GF never told him that they were even dating, which is why OP never met them. OP doesn't actually know if he believes the guy about not knowing he was the BF, but at least knows for sure GF was cheating on him.
My exact thought hearing that story is that if these friends are like her brother and she has never let them meet her boyfriend it sounds like he is not really her boyfriend. Gave the impression of he was the side piece and that she was going out with her real boyfriend for the trip. Otherwise there would be no other excuse for them not meeting or hanging out at least once when OP has been trying for awhile to do so.
The chores story: I don’t usually like to clean (I’m definitely not as messy as the husband in this but there’s definitely dust, scattered clothes, and empty package boxes). My partner isn’t a clean freak but he does clean. He’d never let things get to the level of nastiness in this story (and frankly neither would I cuz all the no). This man seriously thought “now that I’m married I don’t have to pretend to be a clean person anymore. My wife is the one who should always clean after me”. I don’t blame OP for wanting to divorce him. She should take pictures and video evidence of how bad the mess is as well as him saying that cleaning isn’t “his job anymore”….because we all know of the divorce happens, he’ll spin some tale that OP is being irrational and unreasonable. How “he’s tired from work and the mess isn’t that bad so she should just clean it if she has such a big issue with it”
My ex was the same as the one in the story. That one decided because they 'had a job' and I was 'at home all the time' (disabled and on welfare, always struggling to do even basic tasks) I had to effectively be their parent. Cooking, fixing plates and bringing them over for every meal, cleaning the entire house by myself and even picking out work-clothes to put ready for them in the morning. About the only thing this person did, begrudgingly, was take showers, put out the trash weekly before going to work and cleaning the litterbox out once a week at best. Took me less than a year to figure out this wasn't a partnership; they wanted a free cleaning service they could sleep with. I decided to first set a good example by getting some aid from social workers to help me expand my capability. The ex took that as a reason to do even LESS. Then I gave up and effectively checked out. It took a few years for me to get out of there (mostly due to needing to gather resources and apply for things) but I got out the moment I could. Funnily enough, when my ex's mum and her husband came by one day, the mother berated me for 'not keeping the house as tidy as an at-home partner should' and then her husband piped up and went "Have you seen the state of the house and garden though? Doesn't look like YOUR child does anything at all at home. Even without the disability this kid shouldn't need to do all of the upkeep for both people alone." Which was true, my ex had wanted special fixtures (lights etc) installed the moment we moved in, got spooked by a spider and never finished that work. (I couldn't even if I wanted to and would not spend my money hiring someone to sort non-essential cosmetic changes) And the garden was one chore I had expressly said I wouldn't do and they knew it.
One short sentence summed up my thoughts. The Mother in Law, who OP said had always been nice, commenting that things wouldnt always be the way they are now. What was the MIL thinking would change?
I have had some periods of bad mental health where cleaning was beyond me. I can say my place looked a bit similar to what is being described but not as bad due to needing to keep my pets safe (no crumbs or food on the floors and no bugs). But it doesn’t seem like that’s what’s happening here as my brain never twisted it to the point where basic home care was someone else’s job. I lived alone but whenever someone was going to come over I hid the mess so that I could pretend to be okay and not feel as ashamed. I know depression can look different in men (different social conditioning, so usually mess isn’t a huge source of shame) but that still doesn’t seem to be the case. I hate the idea that people have that a good marriage should look different from the dating phase. It really shouldn’t. If you are ready to marry someone you should be aware of what they expect and how you will be treated because they should already be behaving that way. It is honestly terrifying to me that some people can hide themselves for so long.
@@glennrishton5679 Easy, the wife "Changing" her mind and being the "Free Maid." That's what the MIL was thinking would change, probably b/c MIL was the one doing all the cooking and cleaning b/c she's the "Woman."
I’m sorry but how the f**k is it the father’s fault that the woman left her boyfriend because was cheating while she was pregnant? He lied and said she was fine so it’s his fault on that side of things too :-/
Story 1: Yeah you can break up with anyone for any reason, but it doesn't mean you should be an a-hole about it. And her ex was a judgmental a-hole about it. She was honest and upfront from the start. He shouldn't have gotten involved if he was that uncomfortable with it. He did waste her time and then he insulted her when he was called out for it. She's better off without him.
Only 1/5 stars for slut-shaming her for trying to graduate debt-free? Not okay to call a woman a slut period, unless she’s into that, no judgement, but she’s not even sleeping around! He’s taking out his insecurities on her and putting her down to try to assuage his ego. You can’t handle the situation anymore, that’s cool, but be a grown up and say it’s not working for you. Jealousy isn’t necessarily bad, but we have to express our emotions like grown ups.
@@radhiadeedou8286they were dating for 6 months, amd after saying he was okay with it, the then blows up, and calls her names, names that imply that her job he was NEVER OKAY WITH. "I think i can look past it" turning into "ya know what, i canr handle this" him taking accountability that he doesn't want this. But he basically said "Ehh, . . . Its fine" turning into, "omg your a w***e" WAYYY DIFFERENT .
Are you buff? Girls just need to have tits, any tits at all, and people are happy. Guys need to have washboard abs that you can great cheese on... it's one of those 'reverse' sexism things.
My thing about the first story is that the job wasn't forever. She even told him she was going to quit when she graduated. She sounded like she was willing to answer any and every question he had when she brought up her job. He didn't even have to find out, she TOLD him on the second date. She said she was going to be graduating soon. It sounds like the ex was looking down on her and honestly at that point she dodged a bullet
I think the biggest travesty of story 1 is that people need jobs like that to pay their way through school. You might say there are more “decent” jobs but guess what? Those pay crap
IMO, it takes a lot of intestinal fortitude to go that route. Take the case of Catherine Willows from CSI-she was a stripper before she was a crime scene investigator.
So for story 5, I do think in this case, the gf's behavior is super suspicious. Especially not introducing the friends beforehand and not taking OP's feelings into account. OP should break up with her. That said, Rslash then went on a weird rant about never going on trips with the opposite gender. I feel like the "don't go on vacation with members of the opposite sex because of the *appearance* of possible cheating" is a weird (and deeply insecure) mostly straight thing. As a queer woman, my main partners are women, but also most of my friends are women. Both me and my wife are friends with at least one ex who we've both traveled platonically with after the relationships ended. And what are bisexual/pansexual supposed to do - never go on a trip without their partner? I think people need to confront their own insecurities and not make arbitrary rules about which gender you're allowed to hang out with. Also, don't date a person if you're not willing or able to trust them. And if you find you can't trust anybody, then that's a you problem.
I would have complete trust that my GF would never go on a vacation without me with a bunch of dudes she refuses to introduce me to, one of which she used to be involved with. I trust her completely to NOT do that. If she violates that trust and does it anyway, I'm out. I mean seriously, if she really loved me, why would she even want to do that? There's a difference between trusting and being naive. Trusting someone doesn't give them cart blanche to abuse that trust.
Story 3: this isn’t the 1900s where the elderly can be as mean and rude as much as they want. This neighbor should focus on getting that old man to leave OP his house alone instead of convincing OP to be nice to someone so rude and obnoxious. You’re just a guy minding his own business. Also, I guess pink houses are just rare in other places, because in DC, they’re yeah I have so many stories about people being mad at a pink house.
Story 2: OP is obviously NTA but I do wonder if his wife cheated and got away with it or if it's just the 'want grandbabies!' mentality. Either way that woman has screwed up priorities.
Her statement about jeopardizing their relationship with the grandchild is also patently ridiculous. Since courts are so heavily biased towards females, if anyone was likely to have a relationship with the grandchild after, it would be the ones who didn't hide the cheating from the mother.
Story 1-Calling OP a slut was absolutely uncalled for. OP was honest with her now ex from the beginning. He stated that as long as the job was not OP's ultimate goal, it was fine. Is he allowed to change his mind? Sure. Is it possible he didn't fully understand all that being a topless maid entails? Absolutely. But there were kinder ways to approach the change. Maybe "I'm sorry, OP, it just struck me what you do, and I'm not OK with it anymore. But I do know want to make you stop a job that pays college. So we should go our separate ways." The way the ex did things was just cruel
@@thusluxx1358 Dignity? Whose dignity? Hers? She's the only one who can decide if she's losing her dignity doing the job she's doing and she's the only one who can decide if it's worth it. His dignity? He lost that dignity by calling her names instead of having a calm conversation with her.
Story 3 : Classic man-child "Cleaning is womans work! I am a strong male so i only work to provide!" However, he is going to run to tell his mommy that his wife is not doing what he wants. What a loser...
story one: I mean, he can't be mad about it because he knew it from the start, but he can change his mind about it... but yeah calling you a slut was uncalled for..
Sounds like seeing her finally clicked what she does and how others see her. Suddenly he got jealous. Which is like huh? Makes me wonder how many brain cells dude has. She said what she did.
@@kelsmisterI think the biggest thing was being told something is different from seeing it. It absolutely sucks it happened only after each of them developed feelings (but unfortunately not enough to get over the situation) but seeing her work uniform he might have realized any lustful thoughts he had at that moment would be the exact same ones her clients would have.
@@TheHQZombie Ah you might be slightly misinformed. Definition of slut: a woman who has many casual or sexual partners. So since she is not having sex with anyone besides her long-term partner (now ex), then she is actually not a slut. Hope this helps
Story 3, being in a house for 15 years doesn't give him the right to control what you do to your house. I live and own a house for six years, and I don't ever tell my neighbors what to do with their property. Rarely they ask me for advice but that's it.
"You should never give even a thought of a chance of cheating to your spouse, which means you should NEVER GO ON A VACATION WITH FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX!" is the most insecure relationship I can think of. Either you can't trust yourself to be with female friends or your wife doesn't trust you with female friends. Both options sound like there's a fundamental distrust of the other party, which does not sound like a healthy relationship at all. The REAL takeaway from the last story is that the gf was actively making sure that the bf doesn't get to know her friends or the relations she has had with her friends. This is what makes it suspicious, not the fact that the friends are of the opposite sex. If the opposite sex is what makes you suspicious, you have trust issues that make the relationship's future dubious at best.
Agreed. This is so mf dumb. "Not give the impression that your cheating" MF WHAT?? So just don't be friends or get close with any man/woman if your a straight man/woman. Does that include family or something because some people cheat with cousins!
I agree in principle but I also know that that attitude is really common in older generations and some millennials. There is a pervasive idea that doing things like that is disrespectful to the relationship, regardless of trust. I think the key here is communication on what you are comfortable with and if a common ground can be found. If both sides view it that way and can be comfortable with those rules then fine. If both sides don’t view it that way and wouldn’t mind at all then also fine. It becomes a problem when only 1 side views it that way. Or when some unscrupulous person lies and cheats and twists everything. A healthy relationship is all about communication, compromise, and trust. Whichever compromise you choose, if it makes both happy, then it’s fine.
Well, he didn't say that he was against her having friends of the opposite sex or that they took vacations together. His issue was that she refused to introduce him to her friends and that she had made out with them on several occations. And, shocker. She was cheating according to the update. So dumping your girlfriend because she's acting like a cheater isn't really 'being insecure'.
Iirc, rSlash himself has said in the past that he and his wife do not have close friends of the opposite sex since they got married. Which is... sad. Like, the levels of trust have to be at near zero to have that as a baseline.
as for your boyfriend, it’s unfortunate that he couldn’t handle the reality of your job after all this time. It seems like he may have been more concerned about appearances than understanding you
Story 2: OP did not interact with the relationship. Take the cheating out of the picture: OP did not say or do anything related to the relationship. They weren't mean or lying to break them up; none of that. Put the cheating back in: OP stopped an immoral action and the better informed spouse made their own decisions. She isn't breaking up because OP; she's breaking up because of his actions. OP's wife is mad they exposed cheating? Huge Red flag
Story 3: how much do you wanna bet that the husband downplayed the mess to the MIL? If OP takes photos of how bad it's gotten to her, then she'll probably get her son into action
The dirty house story is kind of unusual because it sounds like one of those stories where the husband changes as soon as marriage happens but usually those stories end in abuse.
The last OP was right, he didn't want to give her an ultimatum, but he let her know he wasn't comfortable with her vacation. He set up boundaries, she didn't care, so yeah he broke up with her... what's not to understand.
Fifth story: OP: "There's a boundary, don't cross it." OP's ex: "I'm doing it anyway. :P" OP breaks up with her. OP's ex: "Why are you doing this?! I just disregarded your boundaries and gave you insecurity with people I like to bang - I mean hang up with. T-T"
Story 3: It's OP's house, OP bought it, it's not in an HOA, if OP wants to paint the house in any color, they can, and nobody can do anything about it. Sorry, Paul, maybe don't look at the house
Story 1: idk, it's perfectly fine to break up for any reason, but the dude knew for 6 months. He's been dating her for half a year, but now it's an issue?
And he had to dump her like this, humiliating and insulting her. Shes better off without him and he doesn’t deserve to have a gf, he’s one of these dudes who thinks a woman needs to change for him.
The husband who won't clean sounds like my sister’s ex. He flipped the same switch once they were married...like he was just looking for a live in, free maid.
Last Story: am I the only one who finds that odd that your not allowed to have friends of the opposite gender when married? Like, OPs story is entirely different from what RSlash is saying. Obviously, if you were in a relationship romantically before in the past then dont go on a vacation with them, but like Rslash is saying you can’t hang out with friends? Entirely? Maybe its because i’m Aromantic and don’t understand romantic relationships like that, but if I couldnt hang out with my two guy best friends that ive known for years, then that would be a dealbreaker for me
Yeah agreed, idk about that. Maybe for someone to go on a trip and sleep in a room/bed with your opposite gender friends and that's kinda weird, i can get behind, though I'm not feeling that strongly about it. But just hanging out with opposite gender friends without your SO is bad? Why? If you can't trust your SO to see friends as entirely platonic instead of potential romantic partners saved for later then idk why you're even married.
@@theickster3008 why? If you can't control yourself you shouldn't be in a relationship. And honestly imo it's weird to think of friends as potential romantic partners while in a relationship, whatever the gender.
You can still have a friendship with them but I would suggest that you include your partner in that friendship or sooner or later it will become a problem. For example, I (a guy) have a close female friend that got married about two years ago. We still talk and see each other from time to time but our texts are a group chat that includes him. When we go out to dinner, he's at that dinner too. Hanging out with her usually involves me going to their place and all three of us playing games and having a cookout. A couple times it's been me doing the cooking at my place and he was invited as well. We absolutely do NOT go on vacations together just the two of us. Hell, even I as just the friend would find that weird. Like why isn't your husband coming?
Truth be told, I think RSlash and the OP are both insecure idiots that don’t deserve relationships if they can’t fully trust their partner. If they’ve cheated in the past then kick them to the curb because you a valid reason to worry. If not? Trust your partner to handle themselves appropriately.
Story 2 in a nutshell: my family got mad at me because i didn't want my son to cheat on his girlfriend Edit: you're way too nice with these ratings bro 😭
I think getting into a relationship with someone when they have a job you are willing to break up with them over is dumb. They didn't "change their mind" they were never comfortable in the first place and just wanted to lead her on.
Story 3: I cleaned houses for a long time (not topless) and I'm not particularly squeamish, but "wet food in the sink" caused my soul to detach from my body. 😱🤢
Big agree, and the fact that he called her a slut and insulted her over the phone, imo, shows he didn't actually respect her choices. She was completely transparent about it and he does that? He's an asshole, full stop.
I agree. Of course people are allowed to change their minds but that’s not what he did. If he’s going from saying he’s fine with it to calling her a slut within A SINGLE DAY then he was never okay with it and it was unfair of him to pretend that he was. More to the point, when he ‘changed his mind’ he didn’t even respect her enough to have a real conversation about, he didn’t say “suddenly I’m feeling weird about it” or raise any concerns that they could have worked on. He just decided that she wasn’t worth it anymore, called her names and made out that he was the victim. Should have been given a higher rating.
@@amandabean3637 Exactly!!!! The fact that he turned around and acted like that so quickly shows he never respected her job or was fine with it to begin with. He's obviously allowed to have feelings about it, but faking being fine with it? Not cool of him.
Story 4 - I'm almost 100% that MIL was not told the entire story and has no idea about how bad the husband is. OP should invite her over to surprise the husband, then MIL can see how horrible it is. Or just send a crapton of pics and videos to MIL.
Story 4: He pretty much married OP just so she could be the house maid and do ALL of the chores instead of SOME of the chores. He needs to grow up and do his part
Story 2... how is it OP's fault, when he was told *by the cheating son* that everyone involved was aware and okay with it? Even if he'd believed his son about that it probably would have come up in conversation eventually. 1000% NTA. And I'd vote that he tell the neighbor girl too, since there's a decent chance she also has no idea.
I remember when I was a kid an adult swore in front of me when I was 15. He said “oh I shouldn’t have said that” I said “dude I’m 15 and I play Xbox I’ve heard way worse than that”
Sure. She's young, it's OK to prioritize job over relationship, as long as she understands that it is rational for that type of job to hamper a healthy relationship.
@@mariposa9506 I think the guy was hampering the healthy relationship more than her. She did literally everything right. She was honest and upfront about it the whole way through. That's just on him that he couldn't handle it.
House painting: It wouldn't change OP in being NTA about his painting and landscaping, but if OP's house is Victorian style then the colors and landscaping described would be MORE appropriate than a sad beige baby house with a mowed all grass lawn. Tell your neighbor to watch a few seasons of "This Old House".
Story 1: uh, no, screw that boyfriend all the way. OP did exactly what she was supposed to do: she communicated clearly what her job was and that it wasn’t changing any time soon, he accepted that and said he was fine with it, and then kept the relationship going presumably for a while. Then out of nowhere he decides he’s no longer comfortable with it and instead of having an adult conversation about it, giving his GF the benefit of the doubt, and trying to resolve the issues he just dumps her and calls her a slut? Nah. I’ll agree with r/Slash that you can end a relationship at any time for any reason, but you owe your partner respect and a fair explanation at the bare minimum. Instead this dude said he was fine with it so he could get laid by a hot girl and kept it going until he either got bored or found someone else. 10$ says he was dating someone within a week.
Benefit of what doubt? Was she not a top less maid? He thought he was ok with it conceptually but not once he got the visual aid. Other than name calling he did nothing wrong.
@@mariposa9506 how about calmly saying “hey hun, listen, I thought I could handle you doing this job and that it wouldn’t bother me, but I can’t. I’m sorry, can we talk about you possibly changing jobs? The idea of you showing your breasts to strange men makes me very uncomfortable.” And then proceed from there. If she says she wants to keep her job then you say ok, and call it a day.
@@mariposa9506 I see it more as him never actually being okay with it, and actually seeing it was the straw that broke the camel's back. If he really was okay with it before that, he wouldn't have jumped straight to shaming and guilting her. Dude's just not a good person.
In the context of house cleaning, it’s possible that “more stuff” is special chores. Like “could you dust all the window sills today? or “I’ll give you a $100 if you clean out and disinfect the fridge in the gaming room.” It might be something more exotic related to the toplessness, but it’s just as likely it’s just cleaning. I never took off my top, but I made good money cleaning houses.
Why does it always turn out that these "alpha male" types of men are Mamma's boys. He's not getting those ideas from nowhere and the fact that his mother is defending this awful behavior speaks volumes. That's not how a relationship works. The fact that he would clean and pretend to care about all that until the day they got married is ridiculous. If you want to have a traditional type of marriage, go for it, but pretending to be somebody you're not is entrapment. I feel bad for OP, but there is only one option here. Husband doesn't respect OP or the marriage. He thinks it's a license to have a second mom. In fact, maybe the mom is defending him because she's been cleaning up his mess his entire life and just wants to pass him off to her.
story 1: that ex is a crybaby, like you were told about it and yet you still went through with it? like why would you still want to continue dating them after being told that if you complained like that
Seems like OP's husband in the cleaning story did the classic 'Pretend to be the perfect person to win her over and finally accomplish the ultimate goal of making them mine' It's kind of like the flirting thing before dating. People love the chase but when they finally get you they stop trying cuz they "won"
@mariposa9506 might have used the wrong term I was talking about how he was upset when she didn't see his pov out of nowhere when he's never mentioned a problem with it before then jumping to insulting her.
Story 2: The neighbor is being a bully and just angry that OP didn't cave. He can't claim he's offended because she told him to get a life. He's literally trying to tell her how to live hers. It's not like she went out of her way to go after him, he started the whole thing. Just because he's lived there a while, doesn't mean he gets to be a dick. I hope OP gets security cameras because this is the type of guy to resort to violence / property destruction.
Story 3: well for one thing you can only compromise if the person in question is willing. considering he would rather live in his own filth, he’s not. Second compromise on what? To do is clean up after himself and he refuses to be because apparently marriage means he gets to be weighted on hand and foot. It’s actually worse than the 1940s, they still contributed by working and making the income. Based on the detail, this guy does not have a job and makes the mess by himself, so what does OP need to compromise for when he just needs to clean up after himself? For the sake of argument, and so there is no uncertainty about it, I suggest let MIL try to talk him. Let her see firsthand how dirty he made that house, and his backwards logic to why he shouldn’t have to clean up after himself.
Story 1:She is NTA, frist she tell him what she does, it isn't like he didn't know, second beside the topless thing nothing is sexual (she doesn't remove the bottom off that is somewhat sexual) and this pay for college, when she finish college she will leave this job, is better fot her to ask for student loan that she couldn't pay? The bf broke with her because she doesn't do with him the same she does with her clients, been a topless maid, but the things is OP was his gf, he probably not going to pay her to do that, also she is at home, after a day of work what do you do at home? I don't know about you, but I would rest and not do my job for free, but her bf doesn't want to rest or relax and want her to do to him what she does with het clients but for free.
Her being top less is why she's getting payed so much. Like why are you acting like guys don't like boobs lol. But still, the Bf should've just not of gotten with OP if he's uncomfortable with her job.
In the mess story. Show the MIL the mess. She says she has a great relationship with her and this is growing pains. My guess is that the son is lying to his mom. My mil would whip my husband into shape if he did this. My grandma would have done the same to my dad (and kinda did). Sometimes you marry a man who needs his mom to kick his lazy butt. Always marry a spouse with good family for this reason. Show her the mess!!!! and make it clear it was all from him.
Last story, the sketchy started way before the actual trip. IMO it was when GF dodged around OP meeting the guys. If there's nothing underhanded happening why would she avoid it? And if they truly are "like brothers" you'd think they would WANT to meet her new partner. When someone in a friend group starts dating a new partner you invite them *into* the group to see if they'd mesh with everyone. Your friend likes them, so chances are decent you will too. Something's fishy here and it isn't lake water.
First story. Good for that woman! She's making great money in this day and age and it's paying for her college so she can do even more in life. She's probably better off doing that for 10 years (assuming she does it 5 days a week), and retiring to some tropical place with a pile of cash. The boyfriend was a butthole for wasting her time. He knew up front about it and played her along.
He gets a 1 for calling her a slut but not for being an asshole for breaking up with her over her job which he knew about? When she told him not to pursue a relationship with her if he was uncomfortable with it? Idk seems like he's a bigger asshole than just 1.
Still want to reiterate that I hope you consider linking back to the posts in the description both to give credit to the original posters and to make it easier for others to find the stories if they so desire and check for any updates.
I don't think there is necessarily a butthole in first story, but if you have problem with your potential partner's job then don't date them. She told him upfront what she does and it brings her good money in doing so. He probably thought he was being cool with that at first but then I guess it got to him. No shame in breaking with someone you can't see yourself to be with, but he deserves the score he got because he went about it the worst way shaming OP for doing chores topless basically. Second story is wild. The son was most likely cheating, he lied about opening their relationship, his mother enabled that, yet OP is the butthole here? No way, son should keep it in his pants and stay loyal to mother of his child.
Story 1 - I have to admit here rslash that I thinkyou are wrong here. He was well aware of her job and that she was topless doing it. It was the fact that he hadn't seen her in her work outfit that triggered him to break things off. What he essentially did was lead her on by saying he was okay with her job, knowing full well that she was topless when doing it, and then shaming her and calling her a slut for it. This giy is a total asshole for that.
people are allowed to change their minds and sometimes there is a disconnect between what people tell you and seeing it for yourself. He is an asshole, but not for breaking up, but because he began to insult her.
I agree, he totally led her on. He didn't keep his word, and he didn't discuss how he was feeling. Just went straight to coddling his insecurities and calling her a shut to make himself feel better. She got lucky
@@miniman649I agree, people are free to change and he should of been more honest about his feelings, op could of at least shown him a bit more about the job to reassure him from the post it sounds like she just told him the basics but not shown him, if you doing something as sensitive as this, full communication is required she even said he was reluctant about it, maybe he went with it because he loved her and didn’t fully understand, we don’t know his side of the story, then seeing her outfit was the trigger that he had enough, at least he didn’t accuse her of cheating or start become controlling or possessive, he said some thing he shouldn’t but he a lot better then other boyfriends rslash has read before
@@mrfirestar9604 No, there was no logical reason to show him. If you tell someone that you clean houses with your tits out, and they can't fathom what that looks like without seeing it. IDK, that's just too stupid to live... actually the girlfriend dodged a bullet here.
Pulling his weight is "no longer his job" and he doesn't care if she's spending almost all of her time away from home to avoid the mess. Nothing will move him to do his share -- what is there to save? The MIL doesn't get it. OP's mental health struggles with this and his utter lack of caring are reason enough to dip out. And speaking from hard experience, going on strike never works. You just end up living in communal filth until you can't stand it and end up cleaning for days to reset the house. 😭
Last story.. wow didn't know Rslash was THAT insecure about his marriage. What makes the last story sus as heck is the fact that she never introduced them OR told OP that they used to hook up. And the fact that they used to hook up is what makes this a NON ok move. Otherwise she can go on vacation with male friends if she wants, ofc he she spends ALL of the vacations with them that's AH move aswell. But flatout denying it like Rslash would? Nah that's fully ok... now we all know that Rshlash don't do vacations at all... with his insanely reliable upload schedule.
rSlash has talked about this "you should never do anything that might ever make your spouse suspicious" stance that he has a couple of times before. It's always been a bit disturbing to me how a long-term relationship is built around not being able to trust yourself or for your spouse to not be able to trust you alone with friends of the opposite sex. Sounds insecure as hell, dude.
Maybe you are okay with a significant other spending a weekend with someone they didn't want to tell you they hooked up with but OP wasn't and even if the gf didn't cheat that was still a scummy thing to do. It's as simple as that.
@@prinnyramza I assume you are English illiterate since that's not at all what I said. What so ever... I even said that those parts you mentioned was SUS. Please go back to school and learn how to read before you embarrass yourself. :D
For story 1, I think the boyfriend gets a 1.5 because I do agree that he can change his mind about being OK with her job but he didn't even talk to her about it, he just flat out broke up with her no discussion. Maybe they could have salvaged the relationship, but I do understand that not everyone can handle something like that.
@@mariposa9506 I'm afraid he is TAH, because, instead of just saying he couldn't handle it and breaking up maturely, he freaked out and called her names.
Story 3: NTA. Nobody has a say in what their neighbors do with their property when there's not some jackass HOA involved. OP gave Paul exactly what he deserved and the enabling neighbor can bite it as well
Sounds like he liked her and tried to be cool with it. But knowing in theory what she was doing and actually seeing it in person are two different things. Aside from calling her a slut, he actually handled it pretty well. Once he realized he couldn't get over it he ended the relationship.
@@Scarlett.Grangerbad choice of words on my part. I meant that he ended the relationship as soon as he realized he couldn't handle it instead of trying to string her along or giving her an ultimatum. He realized the problem was him and instead of trying to change her he left. Yes, he was a jerk about it. Yes she wasted 6 months with this guy, but it could have went on a lot longer and now she has a chance to find a guy who will be cool.
@@TheBoogerJames yeah, okay. Fair point, not dragging it out is good. Still his reaction was pretty bad, so i don't really think it evens out or anything.
Last story: “You should have told me you would break up with me over this. If you had then I wouldn’t have gone.” Girl, stop trying to pin the blame on me. You’re the one in the wrong and you know it.
Agreed but I can see how it could cause friction. If it was me, I'd be encouraging her to find a new job but not because I have a problem with it, I would just be concerned about her safety. I'm definitely not breaking up with her for that. Dude is seriously insecure..
@@wingracer1614I’m not disagreeing with u at all she said once she graduates college next year she’s done with it. This is just paying for it so she doesn’t have student loan debts. Which is understandable if you look at the economy and student loans and all the other blah blah. She’s not gonna find a job this well. He could’ve talked her like adult that he is because he’s older than her
@@wingracer1614i imagine the risk to her is minimal. She's showing up to people's homes, and this kinda stuff is usually repeat business. Plus I imagine the company she works for takes debit or credit, and it's not just anonymous cash on the dresser.
Not wanting the woman you love to expose herself in front of pervs ( because let’s be honest, it’s not really about cleaning ) is not being possessive. It’s actually how the vast majority of the world see monogamist relationships.
Rslash I’m ngl I feel like you’re so quick to say “break up” or “yeah you should get a divorce” I’ve been hearing these more recent and I don’t really think jumping the gun like that would be the best option for everyone
Get 3 months free of ExpressVPN at expressvpn.com/rslash #ad
I WAS THE FIRST LIKE LOL
NO ONE LIKES THIS COMMENT
🍎
Rule of thumb:
If someone says something is completely okay, and doesn't want you to tell the person directly affected by it and gets mad when you do, it was never okay.
Even if OP had believed their son, it probably would have come up in casual conversation eventually. The son is lucky the discussion happened privately, not at great grandma Ethel's birthday party or something.
Son is angry that OP exposed his lie. OP is NTA.
what gets me is that there are so many people who blame the person who revealed the truth, as opposed to the one who did the bad thing!
Like, it's one thing if it's a long time in the past. At that point I can kind of see the deed being "under the bridge". Even criminal law works like that.
But this was ACTIVELY GOING ON!
No way is OP the bad guy!
Son is wrong, Dad is wrong for interfering.
that’s such a wise observation. It really highlights the double standards that can exist in relationships. If something truly is okay, why wouldn’t someone want to be open and honest about it?
Story 1: Anyone else remember the story of another girl who did a job like this? She was part of a sexy maid service and ended up being sent to one of her professor's houses. They didn't do anything and cancelled the service ... only for the professor to run to the Dean and lie that the OP was trying to sexually seduce him and because of his seniority, the OP basically had to drop out and transfer to a different college, even though she did nothing wrong. The professor was just an AH who was scared OP would spread it around first.
Yeah, I remember that story. I hope She’s doing well.
Yup, Smosh pit actually just read that story in yesterday’s Reddit episode!
Yeah I remember it was a Best of segment however it wasn’t best due to OPs name getting dragged in the mud while the professor was in the clear. She also lived in a religious area so even her family scorned her
@@lorilancaster5917 how did we go from "temple-sponsored naughty services" to "oh no you show someone your mammaries? HELL!"
Religion used to be cool ^^
@@NerobyrneNot trying to ruin the comment but that was some cultures. Others were still very puritan. But I definitely agree that civilization has regressed. Even in Christianity Jesus was cool with prostitutes and was like "we're all equals". But of course people forget that...
Story 2: it’s weird that Ops wife thinks it’s okay for her son to cheat on his wife. Almost wonder what Ops wife is hiding…
She could be a cheater but I think it's more likely that she's just a "boy mom" and op never noticed.
@@RiveroftheWither- I’m leaning towards the latter too. Especially if OP only has one child, there’s no other behavior to compare to on a regular basis.
@@RiveroftheWitherBoy mom is So toxic. I am in my twenties now and I went to high school with a guy whose mom wore Boy moms tops and hats and Stanley mugs It was literally her entire personality. I see people who had girls. Oh I couldn't have girls. There's so much drama. And now her son is grown up and he's like stunted in his mental development. He still acts like a little boy. And I swear to God she's imagining herself as his wife because it's just so inappropriate. Especially after their Halloween costume this year. Him and his girlfriend went as Victor and the corpse Bride and his mother went as Victoria. I don't know if you seen the Corp Bride, but Victoria is the woman that Victor marries and loves at the end of the movie. That's really weird. Everybody commented on it.
Story 2: On what planet is it okay to cheat on your spouse, lie to your parents and inevitably destroy said spouse’s trust, but calling out a cheater and let the spouse being cheated on know what’s happening isn’t?! NTA
OP's wife is only thinking about losing her chance to be a grandmother.
@@damienhailey118 Oh she will still be a grand mom. That son of hers will do this again
In this year of Summer Olympics, that was some Gold and Silver Medal mental gymnastics!
@wingracer1614 the son should just get with the ex. Then again, he'll probably cheat on her too.
@@wingracer1614 probably. But I doubt she's thinking very far ahead.
I’m not an adventurous woman. . . But no student loan debt is no student loan debt.
Heck, I’d have been a topless maid if it meant no student loans. (I’m a man, but still 😂)
@@Nintenja889Reminded me of Last Podcast On the Left the other day, where Henry had his sister join the show. Sister: "I'm the prettier one, but you still have the bigger boobs." 😅
@Nintenja889 me too. I told my husband, "I could do this, I have boobs." And he was like, "For 1500, I'll shake my boobs"
I mean, I'm not gay but 20 bucks is 20 fucking bucks.
I’m thinking about Greys Anatomy where someone dissed a woman doctor for being an underwear model which she taunted him that because of that job she comfortably paid her way through med school while he’s 200k in debt
Oh story 2 got me RILED UP.
NO, NO, NO. You don't get to be complicated when you created the conundrum. You can't go like "I would have my kid, if it wasn't for you, meddling dad!" when you wouldn't have any issue if you hadn't strayed in the first place.
OP, take the move first, throw them div papers to that wife of yours. Take her up on the offer and see how she'll switch up.
the fact she mad that tell me two thing either she want a grandbaby that badly or worst she cheat on OP or what worst that she cheat and OP son probably ain't there and agree Op should get that divorce paper
@@SoldierSpiderx Fr. I always have to side eye parents that defend their kids when they do something foul.
And her threatening divorce when the son lied to them about the situation makes it obvious that she fully knew he was cheating from the beginning. She just didn't care about how it'd affect that poor girl.
I hope he gets all the money and the house. His wife is stupid!
@@untitled-gv3qp fact if I was OP I would get a DNA test just in case and if the son still mind, I still will divorce and if son ain't mint, I would let him know his mom it a hoe and I not your daddy
"You're not loyal to your family, so how can I be sure you'll be loyal to me?"
"Because I clearly hate cheaters, and you don't. So how can I be sure _you_ won't cheat?"
I agree, he should push back against his wife. She's being an enabler of her son and emotionally manipulative towards OP.
Story one: $1,500 per shift and you just have to clean someone's house topless?
... Can i sign up for this gig?
No way she's making that much and not polishing more than the banisters...
@@jeremygilbert7989Some people will pay just to watch a topless woman clean. If they want to pay that much, that's on them. Like how people will pay thousands on thousands for p×rn.
@jeremygilbert7989 a lot of topless or lingerie maids get paid through a company rather than free lancing it, which can be dangerous. So there is a good chance that is what she's getting paid without having to do anything else.
@@jeremygilbert7989 No, I believe her. There are absolutely weird older men who have a fetish they are willing to spend that much money on.
@@jeremygilbert7989 On top of everything else, remember, the clients specifically are rich people, who pay out the nose for this stuff.
I hate it when people act like speaking up is wrong.
Absolutely. If you're aware somebody might be cheating on someone you care about, and the person being cheated on finds out you knew and didn't tell them, that'll make the whole situation hurt even more. It's incredibly difficult (often impossible) to rebuild that sort of broken trust.
Same
Your user says enough, fed.
Here's the update on the last story: Her male friend reached out to OP on Instagram, the one she used to hook up with. He asked if OP was dating the ex, and OP told him what happened. He actually apologized. He said he didn't know that they were still dating. He said that the ex was talking mad shit about OP, and he was confused. Apparently the ex gf told him they broke up months ago. And they had been hooking up regularly since. Yes, including the trip. The guy even showed OP some pics of the two of them kissing during the trip. So that explains why she never wanted OP to meet them. So all OP's suspicions were correct.
Thank you kind stranger for delivering the update
'it's just a mess' No girl, the issue is not the mess, the issue is he thinks all chores are now YOUR job because you are the wife.
Sexist, disrespectful bs. He can go back to the man you agreed to marry, or you should divorce him.
I'm usually leery of assigning words ending in "ist" but in this case sexist is right on. Going a little deeper too what sort of person is content living in a place such as OP describes? To me that could indicate a deeper problem.
THIS!!! 100 percent agree!
It’s also not just a mess. It’s a biohazard steadily increasing in its classification level. No doubt.
@@meddlinmegs If on the improbability that the husband does turn over a new leaf, he should put his money where his mouth is and call a crime scene clean-up service.
there's an update she's divorcing him. Best thing : She was the big bread winner in the couple !!! She was paying 75% of the bills while the dead beat husband only was paying 25%
Op’s wife: “You’re not loyal to your family”
Their son standing there after having cheated on his pregnant gf(who could’ve been his family): 😬
As a topless maid myself- _Cause I clean without a shirt on, or pants, or anything doesn't really matter 🤷🏿_ NOT THE POINT- But dang she's making bank
And I only get paid in pizza when I do it 💀 (Ty bf)
That got a lol from me! XD
So.. just asking, what kind of pizza do you like? Completely unrelated, I promise. Cross my ♥ ☺
Alright you had me in the first half.
Eh dignity
just do it for money and be also sure to end up as a nurse
there's a stereotype right there lol
3rd story: Yup. Dude was doing the chores during the dating phase gritting his teeth, just so eventually after getting married the wife can do everything from that point forward. And of course he had to call mommy for help. This is why you probably should date a bit longer. If your girlfriend/boyfriend is just pretending to be some Grade-A dream wife/husband material, I'd guess most of them start insisting on taking the next step because they can't handle the pressure of hiding their true self that long.
I don't think dating longer fixes manipulative people. If anything it just intensifies the sunk cost feeling. The longer you date before the switch to their true colours the more they say, can I really throw away 3, 5, 8, 15 years over a few chores?
Sadly there's no quick fix or 5 step lesson to help us weed out bad people. All we can do is work on ourselves to hopefully have enough resolve to leave when people treat us poorly
@@sailorsunsoldierno dating people longer before rushing in and getting married and moving in together is always a good idea. In fact as somebody who works in victim services when people ask me how they avoid getting into an abusive relationship. That is the number. One advice we will tell people. Slow down. Don't jump in with both feet. Pay attention to the behavior. Is the love bombing too intense. Do some research on what the person's saying. I mean you don't buy a car without doing research on that vehicle. It should be the same way with a relationship. And it takes time slow down. Of course that isn't going to protect you from 100% of all abusive relationships. But it's the best way.
@@LLandS18 totally agree. Rushing in rarely pays off. Not only rushing through relationship milestones but also rushing right back into dating as soon as a relationship ends
Story 2:Yo,cheaters. Here's 3 easy steps to get your partners back and undo your actions
Step 1:Lay on your bed
Step 2:Close your eyes
Step 3:Keep dreaming,You filthy bastards
Lol
It's not that simple.
@@Darkloid21 It literally is.
@@Darkloid21 Found the cheater
@@Shinyspddmn No, it's just more complicated than that. People just get up in arms because it's ego stroking.
*Chores story: I just saw MORE INFO on OP's post.* She's a nurse and pays 75% of the household expenses. He believes that men don't clean in marriages. All domestic responsibilities are OP's and he should lounge around when he's off work. He doesn't care that she's not home, and it was his grandpa's house they've lived in for the past 2 years, which to him reinforces that he shouldn't have to do anything because it's his house, not hers. She feels like he thinks he trapped her, but she's falling out of love with him and is almost definitely going for that divorce.
Somebody married a mormon man.
The chores one: Invite MiL over to the house and see if she still has the same opinion. I'm betting he's downplaying just how bad it is.
If she still backs him up, you'll know where the attitude came from.
Yeah I would not be surprised if it's WAY worse than MIL thinks
@@TomDarkwulf87or if he didn't mention that he told op it's her job now.
Story 3:Dude,How miserable do you have to be in order to be this snobby over colours?!?
NTA
Some people can't be happy unless they're trying to control someone else.
It wouldn't surprise me if there's an update down the road that he had ops house painted while op was away
@@ginabell694Like that one story where the neighbors tried to stick OP with the bill for the painting
I am visualizing a somewhat cartoonish looking house and yard, I'd not be a big fan but for heavens sake I'd much prefer that to a yard with two junked cars, weeds up to the car windows and a pit bull chained up in front. If that guy moved to an HOA neighborhood we'd be hearing stories of him as the new HOA president.
@ginabell694
Yeah,I wouldn't be surprised if these painting companies have more dumb employees like those from that story
Final story had an update, she was cheating. I believe it was the guy she was sleeping with that contacted OP, basically GF never told him that they were even dating, which is why OP never met them. OP doesn't actually know if he believes the guy about not knowing he was the BF, but at least knows for sure GF was cheating on him.
Honestly I would have taken cheating as a givin with her
*Manoj Nelliyattu 'M. Night' Shyamalan:* "What a twist!"
My exact thought hearing that story is that if these friends are like her brother and she has never let them meet her boyfriend it sounds like he is not really her boyfriend. Gave the impression of he was the side piece and that she was going out with her real boyfriend for the trip. Otherwise there would be no other excuse for them not meeting or hanging out at least once when OP has been trying for awhile to do so.
That's just a coincidence then
This does change the rating for me, because my word, people need to get over people having friends that aren't the same gender as them.
8:19 THATS WILD. ITS FINE FOR THEIR KID TO GO BEHIND FAMILY AND CHEAT YET ITS NOT FIND FOR THE DAD TO DO WHATS RIGHT AND REASONABLE ?
"1500 per shift"
That is some BANK. If I wasn't a 3 in good light, I'd ask where to apply.
The chores story: I don’t usually like to clean (I’m definitely not as messy as the husband in this but there’s definitely dust, scattered clothes, and empty package boxes). My partner isn’t a clean freak but he does clean. He’d never let things get to the level of nastiness in this story (and frankly neither would I cuz all the no). This man seriously thought “now that I’m married I don’t have to pretend to be a clean person anymore. My wife is the one who should always clean after me”. I don’t blame OP for wanting to divorce him. She should take pictures and video evidence of how bad the mess is as well as him saying that cleaning isn’t “his job anymore”….because we all know of the divorce happens, he’ll spin some tale that OP is being irrational and unreasonable. How “he’s tired from work and the mess isn’t that bad so she should just clean it if she has such a big issue with it”
My ex was the same as the one in the story. That one decided because they 'had a job' and I was 'at home all the time' (disabled and on welfare, always struggling to do even basic tasks) I had to effectively be their parent. Cooking, fixing plates and bringing them over for every meal, cleaning the entire house by myself and even picking out work-clothes to put ready for them in the morning. About the only thing this person did, begrudgingly, was take showers, put out the trash weekly before going to work and cleaning the litterbox out once a week at best.
Took me less than a year to figure out this wasn't a partnership; they wanted a free cleaning service they could sleep with. I decided to first set a good example by getting some aid from social workers to help me expand my capability. The ex took that as a reason to do even LESS. Then I gave up and effectively checked out. It took a few years for me to get out of there (mostly due to needing to gather resources and apply for things) but I got out the moment I could.
Funnily enough, when my ex's mum and her husband came by one day, the mother berated me for 'not keeping the house as tidy as an at-home partner should' and then her husband piped up and went "Have you seen the state of the house and garden though? Doesn't look like YOUR child does anything at all at home. Even without the disability this kid shouldn't need to do all of the upkeep for both people alone."
Which was true, my ex had wanted special fixtures (lights etc) installed the moment we moved in, got spooked by a spider and never finished that work. (I couldn't even if I wanted to and would not spend my money hiring someone to sort non-essential cosmetic changes) And the garden was one chore I had expressly said I wouldn't do and they knew it.
One short sentence summed up my thoughts. The Mother in Law, who OP said had always been nice, commenting that things wouldnt always be the way they are now. What was the MIL thinking would change?
I have had some periods of bad mental health where cleaning was beyond me. I can say my place looked a bit similar to what is being described but not as bad due to needing to keep my pets safe (no crumbs or food on the floors and no bugs). But it doesn’t seem like that’s what’s happening here as my brain never twisted it to the point where basic home care was someone else’s job. I lived alone but whenever someone was going to come over I hid the mess so that I could pretend to be okay and not feel as ashamed. I know depression can look different in men (different social conditioning, so usually mess isn’t a huge source of shame) but that still doesn’t seem to be the case. I hate the idea that people have that a good marriage should look different from the dating phase. It really shouldn’t. If you are ready to marry someone you should be aware of what they expect and how you will be treated because they should already be behaving that way. It is honestly terrifying to me that some people can hide themselves for so long.
@@glennrishton5679 Easy, the wife "Changing" her mind and being the "Free Maid." That's what the MIL was thinking would change, probably b/c MIL was the one doing all the cooking and cleaning b/c she's the "Woman."
@@LilDevyl17It’s also possible that his version of the story to his mom was less than truthful about his part in it all.
Anyone else hear the ad read and hear him say. “There are so many reasons why you’d want to use a VPN in 2021.” 0:46
He’s had this ad since 2021. 😭
Yes me lol. Was wondering wtf
I was afraid I was having stoke 😂
Ye
I double checked to see if it was his new video. 😂
I’m sorry but how the f**k is it the father’s fault that the woman left her boyfriend because was cheating while she was pregnant? He lied and said she was fine so it’s his fault on that side of things too :-/
Story 1: Yeah you can break up with anyone for any reason, but it doesn't mean you should be an a-hole about it. And her ex was a judgmental a-hole about it. She was honest and upfront from the start. He shouldn't have gotten involved if he was that uncomfortable with it. He did waste her time and then he insulted her when he was called out for it. She's better off without him.
Only 1/5 stars for slut-shaming her for trying to graduate debt-free? Not okay to call a woman a slut period, unless she’s into that, no judgement, but she’s not even sleeping around! He’s taking out his insecurities on her and putting her down to try to assuage his ego. You can’t handle the situation anymore, that’s cool, but be a grown up and say it’s not working for you. Jealousy isn’t necessarily bad, but we have to express our emotions like grown ups.
We're human beings not robots, sometimes you think you can handle something for the person you love but the reality hits different
@@radhiadeedou8286 And he still could have not been an AH about it, but no
@@radhiadeedou8286they were dating for 6 months, amd after saying he was okay with it, the then blows up, and calls her names, names that imply that her job he was NEVER OKAY WITH.
"I think i can look past it" turning into "ya know what, i canr handle this" him taking accountability that he doesn't want this.
But he basically said
"Ehh, . . . Its fine" turning into, "omg your a w***e" WAYYY DIFFERENT
.
@@katphish30you don’t need a reason to break up with someone it until you disagree with how they did it lmaoo
$1,500 per shift? I’m a guy & I would definitely take that job for that money 😂
Are you buff? Girls just need to have tits, any tits at all, and people are happy. Guys need to have washboard abs that you can great cheese on... it's one of those 'reverse' sexism things.
My thing about the first story is that the job wasn't forever. She even told him she was going to quit when she graduated. She sounded like she was willing to answer any and every question he had when she brought up her job. He didn't even have to find out, she TOLD him on the second date. She said she was going to be graduating soon. It sounds like the ex was looking down on her and honestly at that point she dodged a bullet
I think the biggest travesty of story 1 is that people need jobs like that to pay their way through school. You might say there are more “decent” jobs but guess what? Those pay crap
IMO, it takes a lot of intestinal fortitude to go that route. Take the case of Catherine Willows from CSI-she was a stripper before she was a crime scene investigator.
So for story 5, I do think in this case, the gf's behavior is super suspicious. Especially not introducing the friends beforehand and not taking OP's feelings into account. OP should break up with her.
That said, Rslash then went on a weird rant about never going on trips with the opposite gender. I feel like the "don't go on vacation with members of the opposite sex because of the *appearance* of possible cheating" is a weird (and deeply insecure) mostly straight thing. As a queer woman, my main partners are women, but also most of my friends are women. Both me and my wife are friends with at least one ex who we've both traveled platonically with after the relationships ended. And what are bisexual/pansexual supposed to do - never go on a trip without their partner? I think people need to confront their own insecurities and not make arbitrary rules about which gender you're allowed to hang out with. Also, don't date a person if you're not willing or able to trust them. And if you find you can't trust anybody, then that's a you problem.
Fully agree.
I would have complete trust that my GF would never go on a vacation without me with a bunch of dudes she refuses to introduce me to, one of which she used to be involved with. I trust her completely to NOT do that. If she violates that trust and does it anyway, I'm out. I mean seriously, if she really loved me, why would she even want to do that? There's a difference between trusting and being naive. Trusting someone doesn't give them cart blanche to abuse that trust.
Story 3: this isn’t the 1900s where the elderly can be as mean and rude as much as they want. This neighbor should focus on getting that old man to leave OP his house alone instead of convincing OP to be nice to someone so rude and obnoxious. You’re just a guy minding his own business.
Also, I guess pink houses are just rare in other places, because in DC, they’re yeah I have so many stories about people being mad at a pink house.
0:34 caught rslash using OLD sponsor line from 2021 instead of making a new one 😂
Probably hard to be original with a sponsor he's had for several years.
@@emiliaholmberg3320True on how long. But he could at least say 2,024.
@@emiliaholmberg3320it’s also outdated as Lost Ark has been out for years in the west
I had to double take on it lol
I knew I wasn’t crazy omg 😭
Story 2: OP is obviously NTA but I do wonder if his wife cheated and got away with it or if it's just the 'want grandbabies!' mentality. Either way that woman has screwed up priorities.
Her statement about jeopardizing their relationship with the grandchild is also patently ridiculous. Since courts are so heavily biased towards females, if anyone was likely to have a relationship with the grandchild after, it would be the ones who didn't hide the cheating from the mother.
Story 1-Calling OP a slut was absolutely uncalled for. OP was honest with her now ex from the beginning. He stated that as long as the job was not OP's ultimate goal, it was fine. Is he allowed to change his mind? Sure. Is it possible he didn't fully understand all that being a topless maid entails? Absolutely. But there were kinder ways to approach the change. Maybe "I'm sorry, OP, it just struck me what you do, and I'm not OK with it anymore. But I do know want to make you stop a job that pays college. So we should go our separate ways." The way the ex did things was just cruel
Agreed but dignity
@@thusluxx1358 Dignity? Whose dignity? Hers? She's the only one who can decide if she's losing her dignity doing the job she's doing and she's the only one who can decide if it's worth it. His dignity? He lost that dignity by calling her names instead of having a calm conversation with her.
@@thusluxx1358 or lack there of lmao
@@universalfox lol
@@alanalirkani woah woah chill didn’t know you related to this story I said two words my nigga chill out, 😭
Story 3 : Classic man-child "Cleaning is womans work! I am a strong male so i only work to provide!" However, he is going to run to tell his mommy that his wife is not doing what he wants. What a loser...
story one: I mean, he can't be mad about it because he knew it from the start, but he can change his mind about it... but yeah calling you a slut was uncalled for..
Sounds like seeing her finally clicked what she does and how others see her. Suddenly he got jealous. Which is like huh? Makes me wonder how many brain cells dude has. She said what she did.
@@kelsmisterI think the biggest thing was being told something is different from seeing it. It absolutely sucks it happened only after each of them developed feelings (but unfortunately not enough to get over the situation) but seeing her work uniform he might have realized any lustful thoughts he had at that moment would be the exact same ones her clients would have.
I mean that's what they are though? They have no self respect
@@TheHQZombie Ah you might be slightly misinformed.
Definition of slut: a woman who has many casual or sexual partners.
So since she is not having sex with anyone besides her long-term partner (now ex), then she is actually not a slut. Hope this helps
@@TheHQZombiejust because they do things naked etc? Good lord grow up lol
Story 3, being in a house for 15 years doesn't give him the right to control what you do to your house. I live and own a house for six years, and I don't ever tell my neighbors what to do with their property. Rarely they ask me for advice but that's it.
"You should never give even a thought of a chance of cheating to your spouse, which means you should NEVER GO ON A VACATION WITH FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX!" is the most insecure relationship I can think of. Either you can't trust yourself to be with female friends or your wife doesn't trust you with female friends. Both options sound like there's a fundamental distrust of the other party, which does not sound like a healthy relationship at all.
The REAL takeaway from the last story is that the gf was actively making sure that the bf doesn't get to know her friends or the relations she has had with her friends. This is what makes it suspicious, not the fact that the friends are of the opposite sex. If the opposite sex is what makes you suspicious, you have trust issues that make the relationship's future dubious at best.
Agreed. This is so mf dumb. "Not give the impression that your cheating" MF WHAT?? So just don't be friends or get close with any man/woman if your a straight man/woman. Does that include family or something because some people cheat with cousins!
I agree in principle but I also know that that attitude is really common in older generations and some millennials. There is a pervasive idea that doing things like that is disrespectful to the relationship, regardless of trust. I think the key here is communication on what you are comfortable with and if a common ground can be found. If both sides view it that way and can be comfortable with those rules then fine. If both sides don’t view it that way and wouldn’t mind at all then also fine. It becomes a problem when only 1 side views it that way. Or when some unscrupulous person lies and cheats and twists everything. A healthy relationship is all about communication, compromise, and trust. Whichever compromise you choose, if it makes both happy, then it’s fine.
Thank you! It’s so regressive, what rSlash was saying there!
Well, he didn't say that he was against her having friends of the opposite sex or that they took vacations together. His issue was that she refused to introduce him to her friends and that she had made out with them on several occations.
And, shocker. She was cheating according to the update.
So dumping your girlfriend because she's acting like a cheater isn't really 'being insecure'.
Iirc, rSlash himself has said in the past that he and his wife do not have close friends of the opposite sex since they got married. Which is... sad. Like, the levels of trust have to be at near zero to have that as a baseline.
0:12 seconds in and he already got the casual tones like "this is no-brainer really" for the AD. This men is a PRO
we time traveled back to 2021 lol
lmao i had to replay it thought i was tripping
Husband n I, "2021...... . an old vid?" Nope 🤔 hmmm
I was going to say this lol
It throw me off as well haha
I was like…. Wait did i just hear 2021? So maybe an old intro clip?
Story 4:OP,He showed you his true colours,Believe him
You already know what to do,So do what you must
16:10 "They're like brothers to her and she used to sleep with them? Huh?"
"Hey Siri, play Sweet Home Alabama!"
Story one; “I actually loved you” then why break up like that. I call bs
as for your boyfriend, it’s unfortunate that he couldn’t handle the reality of your job after all this time. It seems like he may have been more concerned about appearances than understanding you
The boyfriend in the first story shouldn’t have dated her in the first place
Story 2: OP did not interact with the relationship. Take the cheating out of the picture: OP did not say or do anything related to the relationship. They weren't mean or lying to break them up; none of that. Put the cheating back in: OP stopped an immoral action and the better informed spouse made their own decisions. She isn't breaking up because OP; she's breaking up because of his actions.
OP's wife is mad they exposed cheating? Huge Red flag
Yeah, the son claimed they had an open relationship. If the son didn't want it talked about, then he should have said something.
Story 3: how much do you wanna bet that the husband downplayed the mess to the MIL? If OP takes photos of how bad it's gotten to her, then she'll probably get her son into action
And how he told her that now he’s married it’s now her job.
The dirty house story is kind of unusual because it sounds like one of those stories where the husband changes as soon as marriage happens but usually those stories end in abuse.
The last OP was right, he didn't want to give her an ultimatum, but he let her know he wasn't comfortable with her vacation. He set up boundaries, she didn't care, so yeah he broke up with her... what's not to understand.
Fifth story: OP: "There's a boundary, don't cross it."
OP's ex: "I'm doing it anyway. :P"
OP breaks up with her.
OP's ex: "Why are you doing this?! I just disregarded your boundaries and gave you insecurity with people I like to bang - I mean hang up with. T-T"
Story 3: It's OP's house, OP bought it, it's not in an HOA, if OP wants to paint the house in any color, they can, and nobody can do anything about it.
Sorry, Paul, maybe don't look at the house
Story 1: idk, it's perfectly fine to break up for any reason, but the dude knew for 6 months. He's been dating her for half a year, but now it's an issue?
And he had to dump her like this, humiliating and insulting her. Shes better off without him and he doesn’t deserve to have a gf, he’s one of these dudes who thinks a woman needs to change for him.
Exactly .. he definitely has a right to change his mind about being with op but he can’t complain and insult her when he knew from the start
Right like... she told him on the 2nd date, he DID waste her time, and then insulted her on top of it. Bullet dodged.
When he saw it, it hit him vs only the idea of it.
@@mariposa9506 I mean, what the hell did he think topless was ?
The husband who won't clean sounds like my sister’s ex. He flipped the same switch once they were married...like he was just looking for a live in, free maid.
Last Story: am I the only one who finds that odd that your not allowed to have friends of the opposite gender when married? Like, OPs story is entirely different from what RSlash is saying. Obviously, if you were in a relationship romantically before in the past then dont go on a vacation with them, but like Rslash is saying you can’t hang out with friends? Entirely? Maybe its because i’m Aromantic and don’t understand romantic relationships like that, but if I couldnt hang out with my two guy best friends that ive known for years, then that would be a dealbreaker for me
Yeah agreed, idk about that. Maybe for someone to go on a trip and sleep in a room/bed with your opposite gender friends and that's kinda weird, i can get behind, though I'm not feeling that strongly about it.
But just hanging out with opposite gender friends without your SO is bad? Why? If you can't trust your SO to see friends as entirely platonic instead of potential romantic partners saved for later then idk why you're even married.
In my opinion, it's less than ideal to hang out with the opposite gender alone if you're trying to maintain a long-term monogamous relationship.
@@theickster3008 why? If you can't control yourself you shouldn't be in a relationship.
And honestly imo it's weird to think of friends as potential romantic partners while in a relationship, whatever the gender.
You can still have a friendship with them but I would suggest that you include your partner in that friendship or sooner or later it will become a problem. For example, I (a guy) have a close female friend that got married about two years ago. We still talk and see each other from time to time but our texts are a group chat that includes him. When we go out to dinner, he's at that dinner too. Hanging out with her usually involves me going to their place and all three of us playing games and having a cookout. A couple times it's been me doing the cooking at my place and he was invited as well. We absolutely do NOT go on vacations together just the two of us. Hell, even I as just the friend would find that weird. Like why isn't your husband coming?
Truth be told, I think RSlash and the OP are both insecure idiots that don’t deserve relationships if they can’t fully trust their partner. If they’ve cheated in the past then kick them to the curb because you a valid reason to worry. If not? Trust your partner to handle themselves appropriately.
Story 5:Nah,You're good,OP
It was very very disrespectful of her to do this,especially when she used to screw around with one of them,NTA at all
Story 2 in a nutshell: my family got mad at me because i didn't want my son to cheat on his girlfriend
Edit: you're way too nice with these ratings bro 😭
Maybe it's time for OP to rethink how actually loyal his wife is and maybe he SHOULD get a divorce
No, he is appropriate and puts things in perspective. A chomo is a 5. That doesn't compare to cheating, or the colour of a house, dude.
Dirty house story. Definitely divorce. You're his wife, not his maid or his mom.
I think getting into a relationship with someone when they have a job you are willing to break up with them over is dumb.
They didn't "change their mind"
they were never comfortable in the first place and just wanted to lead her on.
Story 3: I cleaned houses for a long time (not topless) and I'm not particularly squeamish, but "wet food in the sink" caused my soul to detach from my body. 😱🤢
Wet food in the sink always grossed me out 🤢
0:32 "A VPN in 2021" Did we do a time warp back 3 years!? 🤣
Story 1: rSlash is wrong here. OPs boyfriend led her on. Yes he’s allowed to change his mind but that doesn’t make him any less of an assuole
Big agree, and the fact that he called her a slut and insulted her over the phone, imo, shows he didn't actually respect her choices. She was completely transparent about it and he does that? He's an asshole, full stop.
Rslash is exactly right. He gave him 1 ah for the name calling, and there isn't any other thing he did wrong.
I agree. Of course people are allowed to change their minds but that’s not what he did. If he’s going from saying he’s fine with it to calling her a slut within A SINGLE DAY then he was never okay with it and it was unfair of him to pretend that he was. More to the point, when he ‘changed his mind’ he didn’t even respect her enough to have a real conversation about, he didn’t say “suddenly I’m feeling weird about it” or raise any concerns that they could have worked on. He just decided that she wasn’t worth it anymore, called her names and made out that he was the victim. Should have been given a higher rating.
@@amandabean3637 Exactly!!!! The fact that he turned around and acted like that so quickly shows he never respected her job or was fine with it to begin with. He's obviously allowed to have feelings about it, but faking being fine with it? Not cool of him.
@@amandabean3637 the single day was the day he got the visual.
Story 4 - I'm almost 100% that MIL was not told the entire story and has no idea about how bad the husband is. OP should invite her over to surprise the husband, then MIL can see how horrible it is. Or just send a crapton of pics and videos to MIL.
Not yall complaining about a reused sponsor as if most people don't just skip it
I mean ostensibly the people who are complaining didn't skip, I didn't find out about that flub until the comments section! 😂
Story 4: He pretty much married OP just so she could be the house maid and do ALL of the chores instead of SOME of the chores.
He needs to grow up and do his part
Story 2... how is it OP's fault, when he was told *by the cheating son* that everyone involved was aware and okay with it? Even if he'd believed his son about that it probably would have come up in conversation eventually. 1000% NTA.
And I'd vote that he tell the neighbor girl too, since there's a decent chance she also has no idea.
I remember when I was a kid an adult swore in front of me when I was 15. He said “oh I shouldn’t have said that” I said “dude I’m 15 and I play Xbox I’ve heard way worse than that”
Story 1: NTA. No student loan debt is no debt. As long op is safe then it is no problem.
Sure. She's young, it's OK to prioritize job over relationship, as long as she understands that it is rational for that type of job to hamper a healthy relationship.
@@mariposa9506 honestly I would say good riddance to her ex
@@mariposa9506 I think the guy was hampering the healthy relationship more than her. She did literally everything right. She was honest and upfront about it the whole way through. That's just on him that he couldn't handle it.
@@sailorstar3148 that's her prerogative, but most decent guys don't want to date women who expose themselves to others.
@@cynister7384 yes she was honest and it was on him, but the moment he realized he couldn't handle it he bailed, albeit rudely. So he was honest too.
Add about vpn, rSlash: “so many reasons to use vpn in 20..21… dude it is 20..24!
I had to check if I was listening to a golden oldie… lol
House painting: It wouldn't change OP in being NTA about his painting and landscaping, but if OP's house is Victorian style then the colors and landscaping described would be MORE appropriate than a sad beige baby house with a mowed all grass lawn. Tell your neighbor to watch a few seasons of "This Old House".
0:35 "There are so many reasons to use a VPN in 2021"
Story 1: uh, no, screw that boyfriend all the way. OP did exactly what she was supposed to do: she communicated clearly what her job was and that it wasn’t changing any time soon, he accepted that and said he was fine with it, and then kept the relationship going presumably for a while. Then out of nowhere he decides he’s no longer comfortable with it and instead of having an adult conversation about it, giving his GF the benefit of the doubt, and trying to resolve the issues he just dumps her and calls her a slut? Nah.
I’ll agree with r/Slash that you can end a relationship at any time for any reason, but you owe your partner respect and a fair explanation at the bare minimum. Instead this dude said he was fine with it so he could get laid by a hot girl and kept it going until he either got bored or found someone else. 10$ says he was dating someone within a week.
Benefit of what doubt? Was she not a top less maid? He thought he was ok with it conceptually but not once he got the visual aid. Other than name calling he did nothing wrong.
@@mariposa9506 how about calmly saying “hey hun, listen, I thought I could handle you doing this job and that it wouldn’t bother me, but I can’t. I’m sorry, can we talk about you possibly changing jobs? The idea of you showing your breasts to strange men makes me very uncomfortable.” And then proceed from there. If she says she wants to keep her job then you say ok, and call it a day.
@@mariposa9506 I see it more as him never actually being okay with it, and actually seeing it was the straw that broke the camel's back. If he really was okay with it before that, he wouldn't have jumped straight to shaming and guilting her. Dude's just not a good person.
12:38 this guy trapped you into a marriage just so you could be a housewife. Get a divorce
In the context of house cleaning, it’s possible that “more stuff” is special chores. Like “could you dust all the window sills today? or “I’ll give you a $100 if you clean out and disinfect the fridge in the gaming room.” It might be something more exotic related to the toplessness, but it’s just as likely it’s just cleaning. I never took off my top, but I made good money cleaning houses.
Why does it always turn out that these "alpha male" types of men are Mamma's boys. He's not getting those ideas from nowhere and the fact that his mother is defending this awful behavior speaks volumes. That's not how a relationship works. The fact that he would clean and pretend to care about all that until the day they got married is ridiculous. If you want to have a traditional type of marriage, go for it, but pretending to be somebody you're not is entrapment. I feel bad for OP, but there is only one option here. Husband doesn't respect OP or the marriage. He thinks it's a license to have a second mom. In fact, maybe the mom is defending him because she's been cleaning up his mess his entire life and just wants to pass him off to her.
story 1: that ex is a crybaby, like you were told about it and yet you still went through with it? like why would you still want to continue dating them after being told that if you complained like that
Literally
Seems like OP's husband in the cleaning story did the classic 'Pretend to be the perfect person to win her over and finally accomplish the ultimate goal of making them mine'
It's kind of like the flirting thing before dating. People love the chase but when they finally get you they stop trying cuz they "won"
Story 1 the guys not a jerk for breaking up or changing his mind that's allowed, but gaslighting her and insulting her made him the AH.
Please describe the gaslighting.
@mariposa9506 might have used the wrong term I was talking about how he was upset when she didn't see his pov out of nowhere when he's never mentioned a problem with it before then jumping to insulting her.
@@havokdr3d535 wrong term but I see what you mean.
Story 2: The neighbor is being a bully and just angry that OP didn't cave. He can't claim he's offended because she told him to get a life. He's literally trying to tell her how to live hers. It's not like she went out of her way to go after him, he started the whole thing. Just because he's lived there a while, doesn't mean he gets to be a dick. I hope OP gets security cameras because this is the type of guy to resort to violence / property destruction.
Story 3: well for one thing you can only compromise if the person in question is willing. considering he would rather live in his own filth, he’s not. Second compromise on what? To do is clean up after himself and he refuses to be because apparently marriage means he gets to be weighted on hand and foot. It’s actually worse than the 1940s, they still contributed by working and making the income. Based on the detail, this guy does not have a job and makes the mess by himself, so what does OP need to compromise for when he just needs to clean up after himself?
For the sake of argument, and so there is no uncertainty about it, I suggest let MIL try to talk him. Let her see firsthand how dirty he made that house, and his backwards logic to why he shouldn’t have to clean up after himself.
15:10 that's why my friend left her husband. Even though she has the kids except for every other weekend, she's happier than ever
Story 1:She is NTA, frist she tell him what she does, it isn't like he didn't know, second beside the topless thing nothing is sexual (she doesn't remove the bottom off that is somewhat sexual) and this pay for college, when she finish college she will leave this job, is better fot her to ask for student loan that she couldn't pay? The bf broke with her because she doesn't do with him the same she does with her clients, been a topless maid, but the things is OP was his gf, he probably not going to pay her to do that, also she is at home, after a day of work what do you do at home? I don't know about you, but I would rest and not do my job for free, but her bf doesn't want to rest or relax and want her to do to him what she does with het clients but for free.
Her being top less is why she's getting payed so much. Like why are you acting like guys don't like boobs lol.
But still, the Bf should've just not of gotten with OP if he's uncomfortable with her job.
If it weren't sexual people wouldn't pay so much for it.
In the mess story. Show the MIL the mess. She says she has a great relationship with her and this is growing pains. My guess is that the son is lying to his mom. My mil would whip my husband into shape if he did this. My grandma would have done the same to my dad (and kinda did). Sometimes you marry a man who needs his mom to kick his lazy butt. Always marry a spouse with good family for this reason.
Show her the mess!!!! and make it clear it was all from him.
On what you said at the end, R/Slash, I remember my grandfather used to say, it not only has to BE right, it has to LOOK right.
Last story, the sketchy started way before the actual trip. IMO it was when GF dodged around OP meeting the guys. If there's nothing underhanded happening why would she avoid it? And if they truly are "like brothers" you'd think they would WANT to meet her new partner. When someone in a friend group starts dating a new partner you invite them *into* the group to see if they'd mesh with everyone. Your friend likes them, so chances are decent you will too. Something's fishy here and it isn't lake water.
First story. Good for that woman! She's making great money in this day and age and it's paying for her college so she can do even more in life. She's probably better off doing that for 10 years (assuming she does it 5 days a week), and retiring to some tropical place with a pile of cash. The boyfriend was a butthole for wasting her time. He knew up front about it and played her along.
The woman who kills her baby cause the dad cheated gets a 0? Wow
He gets a 1 for calling her a slut but not for being an asshole for breaking up with her over her job which he knew about? When she told him not to pursue a relationship with her if he was uncomfortable with it? Idk seems like he's a bigger asshole than just 1.
I would give him more than one for calling her a slut but he is allowed to change his mind, just like she is.
Still want to reiterate that I hope you consider linking back to the posts in the description both to give credit to the original posters and to make it easier for others to find the stories if they so desire and check for any updates.
I don't think there is necessarily a butthole in first story, but if you have problem with your potential partner's job then don't date them. She told him upfront what she does and it brings her good money in doing so.
He probably thought he was being cool with that at first but then I guess it got to him. No shame in breaking with someone you can't see yourself to be with, but he deserves the score he got because he went about it the worst way shaming OP for doing chores topless basically.
Second story is wild. The son was most likely cheating, he lied about opening their relationship, his mother enabled that, yet OP is the butthole here? No way, son should keep it in his pants and stay loyal to mother of his child.
He gets a BH score for being an AH about it, not for changing his mind. That is allowed
Story 1 - I have to admit here rslash that I thinkyou are wrong here. He was well aware of her job and that she was topless doing it. It was the fact that he hadn't seen her in her work outfit that triggered him to break things off. What he essentially did was lead her on by saying he was okay with her job, knowing full well that she was topless when doing it, and then shaming her and calling her a slut for it. This giy is a total asshole for that.
people are allowed to change their minds and sometimes there is a disconnect between what people tell you and seeing it for yourself.
He is an asshole, but not for breaking up, but because he began to insult her.
@@miniman649 They are and they can still also be an asshole for leading others on and being a waste of time
I agree, he totally led her on. He didn't keep his word, and he didn't discuss how he was feeling. Just went straight to coddling his insecurities and calling her a shut to make himself feel better. She got lucky
@@miniman649I agree, people are free to change and he should of been more honest about his feelings, op could of at least shown him a bit more about the job to reassure him from the post it sounds like she just told him the basics but not shown him, if you doing something as sensitive as this, full communication is required she even said he was reluctant about it, maybe he went with it because he loved her and didn’t fully understand, we don’t know his side of the story, then seeing her outfit was the trigger that he had enough, at least he didn’t accuse her of cheating or start become controlling or possessive, he said some thing he shouldn’t but he a lot better then other boyfriends rslash has read before
@@mrfirestar9604 No, there was no logical reason to show him. If you tell someone that you clean houses with your tits out, and they can't fathom what that looks like without seeing it. IDK, that's just too stupid to live... actually the girlfriend dodged a bullet here.
Pulling his weight is "no longer his job" and he doesn't care if she's spending almost all of her time away from home to avoid the mess. Nothing will move him to do his share -- what is there to save? The MIL doesn't get it. OP's mental health struggles with this and his utter lack of caring are reason enough to dip out. And speaking from hard experience, going on strike never works. You just end up living in communal filth until you can't stand it and end up cleaning for days to reset the house. 😭
Last story.. wow didn't know Rslash was THAT insecure about his marriage. What makes the last story sus as heck is the fact that she never introduced them OR told OP that they used to hook up. And the fact that they used to hook up is what makes this a NON ok move. Otherwise she can go on vacation with male friends if she wants, ofc he she spends ALL of the vacations with them that's AH move aswell. But flatout denying it like Rslash would? Nah that's fully ok... now we all know that Rshlash don't do vacations at all... with his insanely reliable upload schedule.
rSlash has talked about this "you should never do anything that might ever make your spouse suspicious" stance that he has a couple of times before. It's always been a bit disturbing to me how a long-term relationship is built around not being able to trust yourself or for your spouse to not be able to trust you alone with friends of the opposite sex. Sounds insecure as hell, dude.
Maybe you are okay with a significant other spending a weekend with someone they didn't want to tell you they hooked up with but OP wasn't and even if the gf didn't cheat that was still a scummy thing to do. It's as simple as that.
@@prinnyramza That's not at all what they're saying. They're calling out rSlash's absurd stance, not the circumstances of the post.
@@prinnyramza I assume you are English illiterate since that's not at all what I said. What so ever... I even said that those parts you mentioned was SUS. Please go back to school and learn how to read before you embarrass yourself. :D
i had war flashbacks about the crazy neighbours who painted the house of OPs because they didnt like the colour.
For story 1, I think the boyfriend gets a 1.5 because I do agree that he can change his mind about being OK with her job but he didn't even talk to her about it, he just flat out broke up with her no discussion. Maybe they could have salvaged the relationship, but I do understand that not everyone can handle something like that.
Once he realized how seeing that made him feel it would only be salvageable if she quit. Hes no the ah
@mariposa9506 but she would have quit once she graduated he just had to wait that one semester.
@@mariposa9506 I'm afraid he is TAH, because, instead of just saying he couldn't handle it and breaking up maturely, he freaked out and called her names.
@@cassandrahoward4532 people who don't want to date someone who does that also doesn't want to date someone who has done that.
@@akl2k7 the name calling was wrong but nothing else.
Story 3: NTA. Nobody has a say in what their neighbors do with their property when there's not some jackass HOA involved. OP gave Paul exactly what he deserved and the enabling neighbor can bite it as well
Dude should have left on the second date
Agreed. I mean sure he is allowed to change his mind, but he really should've thought about this when she first told him.
Sounds like he liked her and tried to be cool with it. But knowing in theory what she was doing and actually seeing it in person are two different things. Aside from calling her a slut, he actually handled it pretty well. Once he realized he couldn't get over it he ended the relationship.
@@TheBoogerJames "Aside from not handling it well he handled it pretty well" Lmao dude, what?
@@Scarlett.Grangerbad choice of words on my part. I meant that he ended the relationship as soon as he realized he couldn't handle it instead of trying to string her along or giving her an ultimatum. He realized the problem was him and instead of trying to change her he left. Yes, he was a jerk about it. Yes she wasted 6 months with this guy, but it could have went on a lot longer and now she has a chance to find a guy who will be cool.
@@TheBoogerJames yeah, okay. Fair point, not dragging it out is good. Still his reaction was pretty bad, so i don't really think it evens out or anything.
Last story: “You should have told me you would break up with me over this. If you had then I wouldn’t have gone.” Girl, stop trying to pin the blame on me. You’re the one in the wrong and you know it.
Not the reused VPN sponsor lmao
Money is money, I get it
@@dwarfwithinternetaccess FACTS
I tried making money as a topless lawn guy. All I got was a sunburn and laughed at.
Her boyfriend feels possessive about HER body. It's honest work, with no chance of STIs. She's better off without him.
Agreed but I can see how it could cause friction. If it was me, I'd be encouraging her to find a new job but not because I have a problem with it, I would just be concerned about her safety. I'm definitely not breaking up with her for that. Dude is seriously insecure..
@@wingracer1614I’m not disagreeing with u at all she said once she graduates college next year she’s done with it. This is just paying for it so she doesn’t have student loan debts. Which is understandable if you look at the economy and student loans and all the other blah blah. She’s not gonna find a job this well. He could’ve talked her like adult that he is because he’s older than her
@@wingracer1614i imagine the risk to her is minimal. She's showing up to people's homes, and this kinda stuff is usually repeat business. Plus I imagine the company she works for takes debit or credit, and it's not just anonymous cash on the dresser.
It’s not possessive to dislike the idea of other people enjoying your partners body visually
Not wanting the woman you love to expose herself in front of pervs ( because let’s be honest, it’s not really about cleaning ) is not being possessive. It’s actually how the vast majority of the world see monogamist relationships.
Rslash I’m ngl I feel like you’re so quick to say “break up” or “yeah you should get a divorce” I’ve been hearing these more recent and I don’t really think jumping the gun like that would be the best option for everyone
Hes opinions are typically trash fires