3 "Alpha" Habits That Really Just Make People Dislike You
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 มิ.ย. 2024
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Sometimes becoming powerful can make people act like jerks. The same thing can happen as you improve your charisma, which is a measure of social power. If you’re not careful you can become a domineering leader that is dislike for how you wield that social clout.
In this video we are covering 3 common myths about being an alpha personality that actually just make people dislike you, and what tweaks you can make to be a respected leader that people love to be around.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:44 - Myth #1: They direct attention towards themselves.
3:27 - Myth #2: They are intimidating with their bodies.
6:02 - Myth #3: They are stoically unimpressed.
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#Alpha #CharismaOnCommand
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“Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.”
chills
the power in this statement is deity like
If a poor man and rich man trip and fall in front of you, and you can only help one of them up - who do you help and why?
Helping the rich man might be our first natural instinct thinking he could help us after, or repay us (as we are less fortunate than he). However, helping the poor man makes YOU the "rich man" helping someone less fortunate)
@@beobe99 This is the dumbest riddle ever - you help whoever is closest to you, obviously.
Or "To You", right?
"Strong people don't put others down, they lift them up".
Totally. And love is constructive. The force of love by the reduction of our ego and the elevation of our empathy and good emotions. The force of love is the key to a better world.
The problem is when you are in a group, usually no alpha and no groupmember will put you up unless you you pull yourself up egomaniacally.
Warp - A group with an “Alpha” in it that feels the need to put others down to make themselves feel better is appearing to act strong but is actually very insecure. Bullies are some of the most insecure and self-obsessed people. This is very common amongst children, but if you’re having this problem as an adult, you need to find yourself a better circle of friends. Or you can lead by example and show them a better way. True strength is being secure and confident enough in your own worth to lift everyone around you up rather than put them down.
Why should lift someone up who has no impact in my life and I literally don't care about? Like why should consume my energy in order to make a random a person feel better? What do I get in return? I rather spend my kindness where it matters and it pays back.
That's the truth ! Putting people down is a sighn of insecurity not alpha like they would like to think.
I remember this girl in a cafeteria would invite people sitting alone to end up making a group.
Brookie real mvp
What who
Thats pretty cool 😀👍
Making friends with people who are unpopular will make you the popular one🙃
@@beccag2758 Yeah, she did end up becoming the school president too.
I like how Tom Cruise is both a positive and negative example.
I believe that one is his only poorly-handled interview. He learnt from it and did the others right.
@@tiaaaron3278 He only makes bad interviews because he's so full of himself, you can see it in almost every interview with him.
I believe that’s him in general he’s a person you should aspire to be but also 100% not at the same time.... cause Scientology and all
Love how Conner McGREGOR is on a couple of positive clips. Yet... a couple months later is shown punching a 60 year old grandfather in the face when he’s not even looking 😳
@@ericcartman8694 you don't aspire to be you aspire to learn from. To be something you'renot is shallow and misleading but showcasing the best qualities of yourself is what others will notice if done genuine and humbly.
1. When you’re leading a conversation, it’s very good to invite other people who might be more quiet by asking them what they think or joking with them. Compliments work as a good way of redirecting attention. Remembering the people who play smaller roles in your life and complimenting them is also good.
2. Fully commit to friendly gestures, such as high fives, back pats, shoulder touches. Fully committing matters as it shows more confidence but also helps with being more trustworthy.
3. Show more positive emotions when it’s called for. It might be hard for some, and it’s always easy to start off with a smile. Getting yourself in an excited mood before social interactions can help a lot
i feel like this advice must be taken with a pinch of salt. You could invite a quiet person into the conversation, yet that person may not appreciate it as much as they should and instead when they become more integrated in the group, they'll start viewing themselves as above and wouldn't invite you into the conversation if you were left out....Many a time I've done this for people who haven't exactly acknowledged it and when they found their feet didn't even try to be nice like i was to them
@@tropicalstormxox9444 I do agree, there are many personalities that would receive being included like that in different ways. Some may think "it's about time you recognized my opinion is what matters here", some may be delighted that you included them building their confidence, and of course, some may feel called out and not want to be the center of attention thinking you pulled a trick to prove you're superior.
@Ascended Master someone who has been enlightened doesnt need these advices from the vid i guess
@Ascended Master You've obviously never taken LSD before
Don’t forget tickling the balks
*This is the kind of video I wish I watched when I was 12*
Daniel Iles - Small Business I am 12 and now I’m glad I watched this video lol
At 12 your social interactions are a lot different though, the tips this guy gives are more for adults because social interactions get a lot more complex as you get older
Existing user oh ok
Can relate
Its never too late to develop your personal power friend ! 😁 Give credit to the 12 year old you, he got you to where you are today!
Have a good day😁👍
RULE 4:
NEVER LET THEM FIND OUT YOU WATCH THESE VIDEO!!!
I've joked about reading a lot of self help books with other people and it doesn't seem like I lost any respect for them. Imagine if you meet some super confident, "alpha" person, the kind of person you feel safe around, and they joke about watching Charisma on Command every night. Would you lose respect for that person, or would you admire that even though they may seem perfect they're still striving to improve?
Firecelebi admitting to that makes you more real and relatable.
@@MorseCodeStutters I agree 100%. I think its fun and worthwhile to learn better ways to engage in conversations, but there's no point in getting into perfectionism and trying to project a flawless image of this ideal alpha male out at everyone all the time. The real people you like to be around aren't like that. They may be confident and good at the things they do, but they sure aren't gonna be perfect.
wise observation
@@satireguy8595 You should wait a while until you can say something like that
When somebody makes an effort to make me feel included, I am so happy and grateful and will remember these people. In that moment they feel like a hero
Thanks. I'll remember this advice when I become an alpha celebrity myself.
All these situations, are probably in your everyday life already. Open your eyes to the world and people around you
@@jjtotheb those are people? Thought they were androids
You don't have to be a alpha celebrity to be alpha male.
That is very good advice
these tips are not for that. you missed the whole point of a video.
Hey Charlie, you should make a video on Tommy Shelby from "Peaky Blinders", there's a lot of charisma potential in that one that you can expand on!
Yess! Would love to see this
THIS!
Been waiting for it for years!!! People are screaming for it Charlie
Yes please
YES
Not gonna lie if the Rock remembered me, I'd love him forever.
@Nick Moore no he wasnt
His putdown of Vin Deisel left me cold.
Why? He is just an entertainer.
@@snortchgortch4253 He big famous Hollywood man
Who is the Rock?
don't forget the 4th, never unironically call yourself alpha.
Ok
Simply put: subtly is key
A L P H A
...or refer to yourself in the 3rd person.
An alpha, a high value man, doesn't put others down to feel good about himself.
Being very content and abundant, makes him to help others instead.
He has nothing to win or lose. *It's a MINDSET.*
Narcissists dont like your comment😂😂😆
Alphas / betas dont exist sheesh
We’re not wolves.
Always great comments, great channel
Alvan5 much better
Alpha is what you say for animals in packs, the alpha is the dominant Male, if you want to eat before him you need to be stronger then him.
That makes people in real life act like assholes, thinking they need to be jerks.
Now when a moron decides he want to be an alpha and acts like an alpha there is a small detail, he is not, so first one that calls his bluff, it’s a fight.
Admittedly humans are smarter than that, ... but are they really.
Please don't try to break my hand when you give me a handshake
I instantly dislike anyone who does that
So soo fragile uwu
Just mirror handshakes. Even if a really strong person starts squeezing your hand, if you counter-squeeze with all your might it will not hurt at all. If someone gives you the dead fish shake, just give him/her the same back.
If you work any sort of physical labour, you naturally develop a very firm handshake. It is not intentional. I have to focus on not crushing a girl's hand when I shake it. As for men, I don't worry, if it hurts you, then man up sissy boy.
Blue Steel I work a manual job an I still have control over how hard I grip something .its a handshake not a deadlift
Please put actual energy into your handshakes. Getting a sloppy handshake is very uncomfortable, like they don't even care enough to greet you properly.
This is sooooo true. I love making new people or unnoticed people feel welcome but comfortably. The douchy people only try to befriend who they think will benefit them.
the video thumbnail made me literally think the video was gonna talk about squinting your eyes.
It is like my grandma would always tell me, it is not that important if you are good looking or smart (although it doesn't hurt), the most important thing is to be kind. 😊 To be a person other people feel comfortable with.
Not a bad philosophy but those who are kind tend to be exploited too.
@@pumpkinface8151 Well, be kind, but don't be too kind when you're being exploited.
refine that attitude even more. Become approachable. Have your own thoughts and opinions. Reach your own conclusions. Still be approachable.
Your Grandma is a very wise lady.
Well, you'd benefit more from being kind while being good looking. And so do maintain good health and groom. And be kind.
Being dominant vs domineering. Big lessons here
1. They direct attention towards others. When leading a conversation, its important to involve everybody in the conversation, especially the ones feeling left out.
2. They are committed with their actions. Commit to your actions of friendly gestures such as a hug or a hi five. Small acts like these go a long way.
3. They are commited to positive emotions. Let the positivity flow and speak through smiles. This takes practice and mastery of the self to fully flesh out but is a nice starting point if you're just starting out with this.
I have only one rule ... and my life improved a lot ... the rule is ...
Do everything Keanu does
The End
Breathtaking.
💯😁👍🏻
Use pencils for self defense.
@@Carbon2861996 take unknown pills from suspicious unknown dude?
Kill people who kill your poppy using anything
Will you please make a video on sticking up for/defending other people in social situations
It's seriously the worst feeling when someone gets unfairly put down in a group conversation and no one knows what to say
Julien Crane sometimes all you need is to turn to the person who did it and ask, “WTF?” (I don’t think I can write the whole expression here) It makes him/her embarrassed.
Julien Crane thank you for asking this important question.
If you’re high in social status and someone directly insults a lower status person, say you don’t find the lower person the same as the insulter, if you don’t.
When people are being mean, passive aggressive “a side” “be nice, I wouldn’t let someone say that about you” often works for me with the snark.
I have more, I will post them as I think of them.
@@ladyshrink22222 I like those examples alot, would like to hear more if you have
Cena was there at the Rock's interview
It's just.. *you CAN'T see him!* 😂
I have no idea how that caught me by surprise 😂😂
Did you notice Drax?
Hey, I just wanted to say you guys helped me regain my confidence after a break up of a 2 year relationship and you've helped me make a lot more friends and become the center of attention at work so thank you!!
I am not studying psychology, and I've never read a complete book of it, I'm just interested in understanding different characters of ppl. To me, you just turn all I've ever noticed and known into videos. And I want to tell you that you are making an absolutely unique and amazing content.
fuckin love it man.. keep up the good work
Never heard of Simple Habit, glad you're getting sponsors.
Great video!!! I'm so glad you shared the distinctions between "The Alpha" in social settings verses "The Alpha Myths" that are sometimes portrayed in social media & cinema!
Do you ever think the famous people commonly featured in your videos ever watch your channel to hear the good things about their personality when they're feeling sad?
+Jovan Granado
Most of them do not actually need self assurance. They are completely committed to their personality.
Those sports stars are super confident in their abilities hence why they come across as such.
Even celebrities watch TH-cam-videos and they've likely googled themselves before so it doesn't seem that impossible that they've also search on themelves on TH-cam and found videos like these about themselves.
Aw, I hope so!!
No because they probably dont have time for such things lol
They don't have time for that
Sharing the conversation with someone on the outside was the one thing I did well, and man it is powerful. It really turns awkward groups into a vibe.
Real leader makes his people feel important and appreciated
So glad you’re addressing this
Dude this channel has helped me tremendously. Thank you for the time and effort you put into making these videos 🙏🏼
This is why your channel is great...no fluff, really sound content right here thanks
I just love the different movie clips you use, great videos as always, thank you for the free advice!
The rock clip is legendary. Love how he did that highlighted the interviewer
This is spot on. A person who is able to make everyone feel included in whatever it is..is going to be more well liked.
Man, I really love your videos! This helps me a lot to increase confidence and positive attitude
Do a dark knight's joker charisma breakdown
"The people that are most powerful and liked spread positivity"
My favorite video so far. You have gotten better and better over the years!
Haya man I haven’t watched you videos in over a year . And re watching them again has been really good to listen too lately. Just wanted to say thank you for your purpose in life and how it helps out so many people :)
02:18 I've seen him doing this in other interviews as well. Like in Graham Norton shows,he always involves other guests too and tries to face them as well.
You guys are amazing. Thank you for your quality content! Been watching you guys for three years.
It's amazing how small acts of generosity and courtesy can give you so much Power and Influence. Unlike what people think authenticity and empathy do pay off.
stay steady striving
Thanks a lot man the video just meant that I should be myself
Because I was trying to imitate the myths when being myself was being alpha. Thanks a lot
It's about being kind to others, acknowledge the other people around. We will be remembered not for what we do but for how we make people feel.
@bobby ray yes ♡
Sending love and the best energies your way
Then how come women bring up something the man did 17 years ago?
@charisma on command I wanted to thank you a lot, after a few weeks of your videos and really opening up I have 💯 become exactly who I’ve wanted to be- and to those are are struggling with confidence I just have a short message. “It’s been a long time that I’ve spent being unconfident, with no father figure I never had the chance to learn by teaching but with these short tips from the channel I’ve been able to fill the gaps to be the man I’ve wanted to be”
Great video!
Could you maybe do a video studying those famous people who conduct themselves during speeches? Leaders, historial people etc.
Jimmy can be awkward sometimes. 😂😂
What was that at 7:05??
Comedians for the most part are socially awkward
Shem Muthanga He’s always awkward!
He was laughing how was that awkward?
That is part of his social skillset and it has seen him do VERY well indeed - he positions himself as unchallenging, likeable and liable to draw out a more interactive (less passive) energy from others in front of him or in his group. Aka Columbo. That is the only aspect otherwise missed by this well thought out and put together video.
Sometimes? He is a little creep.
THis is the channel I've been searching for and I have finally found it
Great tips here. Thanks! 😊
"Remembering details about people's personal life makes them more attracted to you"
*Me, forgeting what i ate for breakfast two days ago*
We need a charisma breakdown on NORMAN REEDUS!!
I can't believe you are not analysing the drama SUITS. It's perfect for you to analyze .
It goes way beyond style. It has to do with genuine sincerity and magnanimity the idea I'm looking for is empowerment .
Good video. Thanks for mentioning at the beginning that some (myself included) consider the term: "ALPHA" much more appropriate when discussing (ANIMAL) behavior. The word falls short when describing the complexities & nuances of HUMAN behavior. 😎
Acting 'alpha' is usually an over compensation for a weak masculine identity
I never quite understood the word but apparently,it means a cool,confident man? If so,I think it works best when it's done naturally and unapologetically. Like Sean Connery's James Bond.
Either you are an alpha or not. Either way it doesn't matter and if it matters for you you're not an alpha
No, being alpha and engaging in feminine activities like shaming, belittling, gossiping and dominating those lower than you is an over compensation for a weak masculine identity.
@@Darth_Bateman Why would those be feminine ?
@@Darth_Bateman hahah "feminine activities" - what makes those 4 "feminine"?
Awesome advice/analogy and right on point. I see ppl like this almost everyday on both sides from the narcissistic who are constantly talking about themselves or tooting their own horn'..to the friendly and outgoing alpha male who are courteous and considerate to others never making JUST THEMSELVES the center of attention..
You make the best friggin videos
Great video. 'Alpha' men are so often misconstrued. They bring others together and usually spread joy and kindness wherever they go, while still having a backbone to defend themselves and their loved ones as needed.
The backbone part is key.
"Alpha"
Used very loosely!
Being social isn't the same as being socially dominant, which isn't the same as being generally dominant, which isn't the same as being a tyrant.
Humans are complex!
True there are so many socially dominant but super beta people who would crumble under real pressure
@Dannynorw when things go south hard, like war, revolutions, etc. we might see cowards dominating (through cowardly ways) and social alphas just crumbling. In those cases I would either get rid or stay away from those!
BOOMER ok, boomer
Well look how smart you are dude 3.1 M subscribers! U deserve everyone of them !
Great channel 👊
Can you break down James Roday character Shawn Spencer on the tv show Psych
Charisma breakdown for David Tennant please !!!!!!!
Yeees... Pleeeeeaaaaasssseee!
I'll try the app. Thanks for the video!
Amazing Video!
"This example's obviously a joke, that Rock is talking about...
**loud bwhamm** JOHN CENA!!! **music starts playing**"
He was there.. you just can't see him! 😂
"Non-reactivity doesn't apply to positive emotions. In fact being socially dominant means expressing more positive emotions than most people do."
There was a study somewhere that said extrovert brains release more dopamine when a risky move goes successfully, so they feel more positive emotions, because some brain pathway is very direct, whereas introverts focus more on the planning and understanding, because that brain pathway goes through the planning part of the brain. So it might be that those socially dominant people expressing more positive emotions are simply wired as extroverts.
I adore everything about you Charlie, your voice, posture, your subjects and your enthusiasm, I hope that I meet you one day💜
Such a cool video, thank you!
6:55 - I'd say that's just because of the high confidence (or emulated high confidence, which is common among people with ADHD) makes it so you express your feelings more while (seemingly) not worrying about whether other people will find the story as engaging as you do... it's always an insecurity vs confidence thing. The only ones truly holding us back, our expressions and our personalities, is ourselves.
Jimmy's awkwardness is funny though lol
I really enjoy the videos you put out. Thanks a million for your work!
Watching this kind of videos have made me an extrovert person and believe me, I was the most akward boy in the class back in school. Every time I see a video like this I put it in practice as soon as I can and most of the times it works perfectly. Thanks to you and all this kind of community, you have made me a greater person.
You need to build your self a foundation. There are different ways of doing that such as becoming an expert in a given field, training your body and become determined and focused.
Military service can give young men that focus and discipline. One thing that is common with Alpha Males is their discipline.
"There's nothing more badass than treating a woman with respect" - Mister Torgue
On your point about Jimmy Fallon's touches being subconsciously tentative: watching Jimmy in SNL and his talk shows, it's my opinion that Jimmy has carefully cultivated an inviting beta interview style which puts his interviewees at ease and invites them to be co-authors in the interview, guaranteeing a feeling of conversation instead of the accidental "grilling" or "prodding" which some other interviewers can fall into if their guest isn't well prepared. Jimmy's lackadaisical, childish style brings out authentic, comfortable performances which at best cast his guests in an "alpha light" or at worst democratize the interview. My wife always complains about Jimmy being another talentless hack who got so far just on luck and cuteness, but I argue that his style is genius. Jimmy can make someone else instantly likeable because of the space he crates.
Informative as always
Great Video Charlie and so very useful in our lives .... I have learned so much from you and would certainly want to try simple habits. Thank you so very much.
Amazingly, being a nice guy and being aware of others is always a good start. Be genuine and interested in others. Listen to them. Wanting to be Alpha is the first step to being a douche. Like to be liked, we get back what we put out. Don't get wrapped in all these theories and remembering all the crap in this vid. Those who reject you for being you are not going to change their mind so don't sweat it. Remember that most people are so wrapped up in their own insecurities they'll be happy when you smile and listen to them.
We now need to see a video on how to humble those people who are misusing their power without it seeming like you challenging the position, I.e my manager
Love the videos Charlie! Would love to see one about Harvey Specter from suits
Hey! I’m a huge fan of your channel!
Have you ever considered making a video about power dynamics in a classroom or how to maintain control of a group of people who may be oppositional to you?
Would love to hear your advice there.
As a teenager I started pushing myself to always be “cool“ and non-reactive, but I think I ended up being more boring than cool. It shaped me to the point that in my adult life I wouldn’t really smile or display happiness when greeting someone. I still have a bad habit of doing this. It’s probably not an attractive or likable quality, unless you have a very specific vibe.
This video has a good point, cool/charismatic people aren’t totally emotionless or cold. They just keep it cool at the right moments. Most of the time, if you’re smiling and friendly people don’t even notice, it just affects them positively toward you.
Nah people can sitll think you're cool even if you're more reserved
Remember that those with lots of issues of their own will still dislike you for the attention you are getting and the space that you take up. That is on them, not you.
Also, this is a bit different if you are a woman. Please do include us more in your videos.
You’re providing a fantastic service I applaud you and Thank you
awesome vid
When Mike Tyson said he was the most savage, brutal and greatest champion ever, he was not being an Alpha or Bragging. He was being a humble truth teller.
He was the best I have ever seen and no one will ever be better than he was, when he was in his prime.
I'm surprised you haven't done a TED talk yet.
Involving the person who is least noticed is actually a very very good tip.
This is great stuff *pats your back*
“i’m not prescribing riddelin tom”
1. Brag only when performing
2. Compliment as many people as possible
3. Don’t impose / commit to handshake
4. React well with positive emotion
The point about starting your day positively is very true. I've been playing around with singing 'VERY LOUDLY' while driving to work in the morning and I find it puts me in a great spirit.
Listening to fantastic music helps as well.
Also using your work to build towards something such as building wealth can help to focus and make a man more purposeful. Men who go to work like robots tend to be lemmings and never become an alpha male.
I've watched a ton of your videos in the last 24 hours and you've got a lot of great tips. What you've described here with the word stoicism has absolutely nothing to do with the real stoic philosophy.
You have to do a charisma breakdown of Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders
Gerard c I love Tommy but I wouldn’t call him charismatic. He is cold, strategic and intimidating and a master at putting a poker face. You can count on one hand the times he smiled throughout the series. He is not expressive at all... Much more charismatic would be Alfie- he is way more expressive and layered or Oswald even- he is intimidating even when he smiles, when he enters a room he dominates it, etc .
I'm not exactly trying to be an 'alpha', just develop more confidence and be comfortable/make other people comfortable around me. However I think one of my biggest obstacles is physical contact, and I really don't know how to get past that. Not only do I not initiate contact (like no shoulder pats, handshakes, whatever) but I also tend to flinch away or freeze up when other people do. It obviously makes them uncomfortable because I react negatively and hesitate to even do something like hug my friends. I just don't know how I can start being more comfortable and stop myself from freezing up and at this point initaiting phsyical contact seems kind of impossible. Guess I'll just have to get past it at some point.
@Luke Beasley I'm sorry that happened to you man... I wasn't beat beyond the basic spankings so I really can't explain why I flinch at contact. Probably just something somewhere in my brain is wired the wrong way but who knows?
@Luke Beasley Honestly I haven't been in too much contact with anyone since the pandemic, so probably not. But you never know lol.
I do love that Michael Bolton from Office Space was edited in while talking about priming your confidence before work.
Much love from Russia, bro