this is also why communication is key! if you dont like men that take trips- dont get serious with one.. i feel we (women)dont communicate well till later
Hello I've been listening to your you tube videos non stop for a week straight and yesterday light bulb went off. I finally completely broke it off with a man that was very married. I want to say thank you so much for what you do. You quite literally changed my life. I wanted to know what book and program of yours do you recommend I start with
What I've learned about men is. If he wants you he wants you. If he doesn't he doesn't period that simple. There's no magic fix. If you have it all together and he's attracted. Then if you don't have it all together he still will pursue you. Because he See's value in you and he knows y'all can build on the little you have. Oh Queen just be yourself! And have morals, having morals will weed out who's here to stay or to play. Bless✨
I feel like this if the man or the woman loves you they going to change what they own you not want to have to save if you love me you will start doing this or do that he's going to change on his own and if he doesn't then you could just leave them alone have to keep it going
If you want to ATTRACT the RIGHT person in your life then you have to be the right person. Also work on issues such as self- love including self worth. When you love yourself that's when you will know what you deserve and not entertain things that are beneath you. ENOUGH SAID.
1. Relationships are like a bank account; put in more than you take out. 2. Treat each other the way you’d like to be treated; the Golden Rule. 3. Let them do what they want to do, so you can see what they’d rather do. ❤️
The golden rule is no longer the standard, now it’s the platinum rule. Not everyone wants to be treated the way you want to be treated. Treat others as they want to be treated, that’s the platinum rule.
I agree about the love bank. It’s a great way to live in a relationship. As well as let them do what they want. You learn a lot about a person when they are in their element.
My friend compromised when her husband made a baby with another woman saying bcs she didn't want another child he found someone who would. They are still married. Smh
You know previously when a man pulled away I used to freak out ( started seeing someone but he went silent) but now I accept that we all are different and I always make sure my life is filled with joy and hobbies so when I am around people including him. We live in a small town I always see him, I am genuinely just confident and happy..that is powerful.. Learned alot from you sir :) you should never be mad at someone for doing what's best for them even if it hurts sometimes.
Facts Facts Facts!!! I had to learn the hard way, married early and never had any guidance of what a marriage or relationship meant. Once I divorced after 15yrs I decided to spend time with myself , learning myself. I realized part of the problem was me. I became his mother , not his partner. Best lesson I’ve could of learned 💯
@@muhammedumar4838 thanks for the information, but at this time in my life I’m enjoying the journey of learning me. Being the best version of myself, so when that journey comes around again, I will know who I want to be with and we yoke together.
It is wonderful to serve/help each other. I make dinner...you mow the lawn...I clean the bedroom....you change the oil in the car etc. It works perfectly!!!!
I don’t know why you were so worried & hesitant about these points, this is a fantastic video! I know for a fact a woman would be willing to do all of these things for the man she truly loves (or at least want to work on that) because she wants to make him happy. Brilliant guidance! ❤️
I seriously had to get to 45 to understand that it's okay to go out and enjoy yourself apart from your partner. You are so right! Restrictions don't stop anything that someone wants to do. They will find a way. However, if you encourage your partner to go enjoy themselves they usually appreciate it. I don't want anyone to stop my fun with my girls, forbid it for me to stop my guy.
My ex of almost 30 years cheated and never went out of town!!! doesn’t matter where they are what they do a cheaters a cheater end of story!!! let them do what they want. Never take them back.
Dictating your partners moves is exhausting. A relationship shouldn’t feel like a prison. Space is healthy, and gives you time to miss your partner. I hear you. ❣
@@LUCKYME_777 it depends on how long a couple is apart. Space to indulge in self-care is healthy, just as spending quality time together is healthy. A couple constantly in each other's pockets without a break is unhealthy and can potentially breed contempt.
🙌 100% agree. Give your man all the freedom he needs. Because when you trust your man, he comes back to you like a rubber band and the attraction is on fire. 🔥🔥🔥
Amen. When you have good men in your life you will not put up with less. As for a cheater if he wants to cheat you are not going to stop him. Walk away. One of advice my brother told me is pay attention his actions more to what he says.
True. Yeah, his actions gotta match up. But yeah, pay more attention to his actions. Sadly, a lot of women can get Easily manipulated with words unfortunately. So idk. But yeah, good tips from your brother.
Relationships are built upon giving as much as receiving……when you show that you’re interested in what concerns your partner, they’re subject to show you more appreciation
I just want to meet a man who will allow me to just be a woman. I am strong yes but I want a man who can lead and allow me just nurture and care for him. I can’t imagine not allowing someone to have space to enjoy themselves. This video was very informative. Somethings I’ve already been practicing and others I can work on.
Topic on hair… I’m a single woman dating & I noticed the men I attract & would actually consider a long term relationship with, love natural hair. I love units but I also love my natural hair. I’ve decided to challenge myself to only wear my natural & braids all ‘22. Such a struggle 😩 but I found when I evaluated the root of why I wear weave, I knew I had to make a change. I’m proud of me for fully embracing my natural hair & for finally not feeling like it’s not good enough for special occasions. Plus, I’m saving so much money & my hair is at its longest length. In addition, I’m satisfying & attracting more men I’d enjoy dating. WIN-WIN 😏💕
Look I’ve been wearing braids since December 21… I take them out and put them right back in😅😅😅 nobody will see my hair this year and I’ve been turning heads left and right!! 😅
Stephen, you hit the nail on the head. If I had listened to this video in early May of this year, I would've had that " do what", "he doesn't do that for me", type attitude, but God.❤️The one thing that attracted my hubby to me is that I was feminine. Somewhere down through the years a breakdown in communication occurred, and my walls of protection went up. I felt like he had walls up (he was like an android) and I grew tired of him not reciprocating the love and and thoughtfulness I was giving him, so my walls went up. I grew bitter towards him, and I resented him for not showing some type of emotion. We were two broken people.😔 Fast forward, we've been together for about 21 years, married almost 20 years. As a Christian I could feel the Lord prompting me to pray for him down through the years, but I struggled with even doing this. To be truthful, it's by the grace of God that we're still together. I finally got to a point where I got tired of being angry and bitter toward him, and I cried out to the Lord, "God I'm tired of holding onto this anger and bitterness", please heal me, and take this away from me. The Lord did just that. I don't lash out at him anymore, and I continue to let the Lord heal me in areas where I need healing. We did run into a hiccup, and I felt that we should do marriage counseling. He not being a Christian yet was willing to go. Since we started marriage counseling, I can tell you that God is working through the counselor. We are given assignments every week to do, and the way our counselor teaches (he's a pastor by the way) the Lord has used him to open my eyes to see areas that I needed to improve on, and also my husband. I also found some really good prayers to pray for my husband. I now pray for my husband on a daily basis, I serve him his dinner (I always did this), I wash his clothes, I fix his lunch, I call him to see how his day is going at work, etc. Some would say, you should have already been doing these things, but when you don't have an good example from your mother, you kind of follow those same bad traits.😔 Anywho, since I've been praying for him, his heart, his salvation, the Lord has also been doing a work on my heart. I asked the Lord to give me his heart to love my husband, to give me his eyes to see my husband, I asked the Lord to give me a new love for my husband. I asked the Lord to restore my marriage to how he wants it to be, and that we would be a better example to our children of what REAL love and happiness looks like in a marriage. The Lord is doing just that. I am now able to come to my husband and express what is on my heart, and he is open to hear me, and I do the same for him. I am now in my mind forties, and he'll be the big 50 this year. When I tell you our intimacy has gone to a new level, I am not joking. It's like we're in our 20's again, lol.😊 Where I was stiff and rigid, I have let down those walls completely and I now feel free, safe and comfortable to express my love toward him. Do we have disagreements, sure, and the temptation to put that wall back up around my heart comes, but I think I've come to far to allow the enemy to destroy what God is trying to restore. Day by day I continue to trust the Lord with my heart, and remember that He knows what's best for me and my husband. At the end of the day I know that it's okay to be feminine and vulnerable, not always have something to say, and to step back and allow my husband to be the leader that God is calling him to be. I also realized that I can still have a happy marriage even if my spouse is unsaved. God is good!!❤️ It's refreshing to see a man who is willing to hear from the Lord, gain wisdom, knowledge and understanding, and discernment, and be willing to step into the calling that the Lord has for his life, and be bold about it. I pray that you would continue to walk with the Lord, and that the Lord will bless you in abundance and expand your territory.💖
This is gold. Solid gold. The understanding that love and relationships have to be watered like a flower. If we stop nurturing and giving attention to it, it will eventually die. Also I really appreciate the diplomacy in explaining why a woman should consult her partner before changing her look. I would want my man to do so as well. Great content.
Many years ago I would have been triggered by this video but I’ve put in the work to heal and have a better understanding of what it takes to make a relationship work. Thank you Stephan for always being upfront regardless of any backlash. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom with love and conviction. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve already helped my life change for the better and I know that my healing is having a positive effect on those around me. God bless!!!
Relationships that are rooted in love thrive when love feels like freedom. When a woman is in love with a man it is easy for her to meet his needs especially if the man is pouring into her as well. Yes, the best relationships learn to put the other's needs before their own at times. Love is serving and catering that is the epitome of humility. Selfishness & love are extreme opposites, so if the focus is all on me, then the relationships will not flourish. I really believe that when people are in love it inspires them to be their best self. You want the best for yourself & your partner. Sex is not really an issue if you can learn to connect in emotional & physical intimacy. Also, if meeting their needs brings you joy than physical intimacy should be pleasurable for both partners. Their has to be reciprocity on all levels, and mutual effort. Great points in your video. Excellent example. Only one dispute, if a man had locs & a beard, and wanted to change it up, that wouldn't affect my love or attraction. I would support whatever made him the happiest. Feeling confident is attraction as well. Although, I agree looking visually appealing does help to keep sparks ignited. All love for this video, truth is always needed. Blessings & abundance to you.
The more we work on our own selves, the better we attract, in this case, a better partner and a phenomenal relationship. There’s no such thing as the “right person” (to an extend) we have to become the right person first! You got this, I believe in you and invest into YOU! Best investment you can ever do is in yourself for your family, others, future and lives overall! 💯% back guarantee return on your investment! Have a great day! 🚀🎉❤️
This video was most excellent and 100% on point! We, as women, need to understand the power we have in our femininity (not talking about sex). I feel like men and women have damn near flipped roles these days! But, so many women think there’s something wrong with these things and there really isn’t! I just told my sons girlfriend that there’s so much power in us tapping into our feminine selves…you can get so much more from a man emotionally, when you make him feel a certain way! My guy looooves that can cook and do cook for him! He will have a plate made for him, when he comes home from golf tonight! And, yes, I make it and take it to him in his mancave! And, guess what! He is so much more eager to clean the kitchen and do for me! He asked for spaghetti and meatballs and I made the sauce and meatballs from scratch! He told me to just buy them made…nope! He is so appreciative of the things I do! He says all the time I am a gem of a woman!
I used to cater to my ex hb but he didn't care about doing things for me. When he worked overtime and got up real early, so did I. I made him breakfast and his lunch so he could take it with him. I made his favorite meals. He used to complain I didn't make spaghetti often enough, guess what, I made him spaghetti the one time with homemade sauce from our garden tomatoes, and he said he wasn't hungry. Of course sitting at the bar for a long time drinking beer, no wonder he wasn't hungry. Well, he wore it on his lap. He was very controlling and a narcissist. He never appreciated anything I did. He did say I made good sauce and I should jar it up and sell it, but near the end of or relationship I couldn't even do that right even though I didn't change the recipe. I couldn't do anything right. I knew he was cheating but didn't have the proof but like they say a woman knows.
He sounds so similar to my ex-husband. I love to cook, but he would never actually try anything that was homemade. Would not even put a forkful in his mouth. 😒 Not even from-scratch birthday cakes I made FOR HIM, nothing. I had to switch and make him stuff that came frozen or from a box. It was really disheartening/boring for me. Even catering to him that way (and basically every other way), he did not help out with dishes or anything else around the house/yard. I got really burnt out from it all and still sometimes wonder why he was like that. Maybe just a little spoiled? I don’t know. 🤷🏻♀️
Recently started listening to you. Thank for educating me in the importance and understanding what it takes to hace a successful relationship in such a raw, honest and humorous way. Thank you! 🤣🤣
I've been watching you Stephen for a while and I have read your books. I've learned so much and the most important thing I've learned was self love and self respect which has lead me to leave a very toxic relationship and stop dealing with just anyone. I'm know with a heaven sent Man of my dreams. Now my focus is on longevity with my Man because I wish to be with him for a lifetime. He's amazing!
Yup that was me, I used my baby daddy for a baby! everything you mentioned was the truth and my feelings exactly! I was getting older in age and wanted another child. I have never been openly vulnerable with a man afraid of being hurt.
I don’t recall how I came across Stephan Speaks but I’ve been hooked for months now. The clarity and openness in how subjects are broken down and explained are so real and heartfelt. Everything makes sense after Stephan Speaks. This particular video is my fave I think. The hair 😅 💯
Ok I remembered how I came across Stephan Speaks and that was through the School of Greatness w Lewis Howes. He brings on the best speakers and Stephen Speaks was one of those jewels!!! Been here, following now for the past 8 months straight.
I've known all of these things, but with me starting a new relationship i needed to hear this again today, as a reminder so I don't let fear overtake me into reacting to things I normally wouldn't do. Thank you❣️
Gosh. Thank you explaining about the hair-attractiveness view. My husband expresses his desire for me not to change things, but I’ve never understood why, so it’s felt very controlling. The feeling of being controlled feels like being held captive. Feeling held captive feels like he doesn’t appreciate your vision of who you are, and that makes you feel that you want to escape.
Always dropping gems!!! 25:21 😅😅😅, you definitly triggered some people with the serving.I was triggered because I did that in a 5 year marriage and still he walked away from me and 2 kids and never looked back. It's been 3 years and I am not yet near where I want to be in terms of healing so a relationship is not in view at the moment but I'm taking note. Thank you Stephan
This is a very interesting video In a relationship isn't only the man supposed to make his woman happy Men wanna be happy in a relationships too It goes both ways Men have feelings too Interesting video stephan you do not have to be scared to say anything in this video, because every thing you are saying is so correct Men feelings are always ignored and isn't right I love this video
Wow ❤ thank you for this! I needed this kind of brutal, honesty to slap me right in the face. I am guilty of some of the things you mentioned, and I am now choosing to Evolve instead of repeating toxic generational cycles .Lauren London said " Trasmute pain into purpose " and I am holding on to that. Your videos have really helped me understand men better, and that they're really not that complicated. However receiving a Godly man is so scary when you're used to toxic men. So you've got to heal, heal, love yourself, forgive yourself, find whag makes you happy and gives you pleasure in life 😊. God's plans for us are of Good and not of Evil, to give us the future we hoped for. My husband had me raising him and our 3 year old . I had nothing left for myself, and I enabled the abuse and cheating, deception, carbon copying etc. I was jumping hoops for him to show him that he was worthy of my love. MeanWhile he became more and more complacent and consistent in his inconsistencies . When in reality he never even chose me to begin with. I was his slave and servant. That was normal for me as I referenced back to a traumatic andd abusive childhood . I thank God that I knew the love of a mother it saved me. I am unlearning placing so much pressure on my kid to make me happy, and it helps me beat myself up less, bec really whatever I project onto my son, is what I feel inside. Inner child wounds crying for help. thank you for reminding me that Serving is a Beautiful thing. You're a point of light ✨ I have been so Mad -Sad(Home the movie) and really triggered because of how badly I've been abused, I didn't know the extent until I ran away to another city. I'm choosing to love me more than my husband of the nations( cheater at heart). I wasn't perfect however I gave my best and kept healing him while he kept drawing me. I tried to get back at him but what I've done is a pinch of salt . He's now trying to steal money from me, but I declare that God will restore everything that belongs to me. God has a soulmate for each of us , if we choose to just trust Him and the story He wrote for us. It's not always easy but God is a man of his word! You are valuable, you deserve an unconditional love. If God /Source/the Universe loves you unconditionally don't settle for breadcrumbs you need to go for the whole pie ✨ 💖 you need to bake it too 😉
I loved this video! I subscribe to that other saying, "Happy Spouse, Happy House. We have to make sure both people are happy & check in on that very often. Thanks for always providing such amazing, straightforward content.
Stephan, excellent points! Relationships are unique. I think communication and setting boundaries early on are a must to ensure you’re both on the same page. It all boils down to honesty, trust and respect with each other. Just my opinion. You are a great coach.💯
i’m at 16:11 rn & i just wanna say i’m so enjoying this video so much! i’m 22 & my mom calls me 60 cause she said she didn’t think like me when she was my age 😂 i’d be interesting to bounce questions off of you from a women in her early 20s !! but love you Stephan ❗️ you’re definitely walking in your purpose 🙏🏾 Amen
Love yourself. Work on your hobbies & passions. Get in your bag. Be very observant. Dating should be an equal effort feeling. I haven't felt that from anyone I've dated so I'm just building my life. Maybe the right one will come. But can we have a video where we talk about how dating has turned into more of hook-up culture?! I'm not about it. I miss the old days where people actually had morals in dating. 💯
I truly understand your comments right now. I recently did something different with my hair. And as soon as my male friend came over, he said I like your hair! Which was awesome because it was totally different than what I've ever done and that was the first thing he commented on which made me feel so amazing so men do recognize and notice things once in awhile and just the fact that he comment and said he liked it was huge cuz it was something totally different that I've never done before with my color and my cut and everything so that was really made me feel amazing that he commented.
This advice is so good (I'm on #2). If you 'let' your man go out and he does the wrong thing, then you have to decide 'do I like this? do I enjoy being with someone like this? can I be treated better elsewhere?' You can decide that a relationship is not for you, but you can't be controlling. This goes for everyone. If your woman also disrespects the relationship, that ain't your girl. Decide if you want to continue to feel that way or find someone who's gonna respect boundaries.
I was so confused as to why much younger men were approaching me after my divorce. I am remarried to a man 8 years younger than me…taking care of ourselves makes them feel safe knowing we won’t let ourselves go after marriage. This must me true. He was proposed in less than a year :)
Very good video! 👏🏾 Connection, attraction emotional awareness , transparency, honesty. A man and a woman willing to serve each other.. fulfillment!!!❤
I get much joy in serving. Makes me happy to see my partner enjoying that from me. It is definitely an act of loving and caring. In the right dynamic it is key because he needs to know how much he's appreciated.
I understand this. I already had piercings, when we started dating he worded his dislike very carefully. we began to get more serious, and he finally said outright he doesn't like my nose and lip piercing. He has said the tattoos are fine, but I'll ask him his opinion before I get anymore. You made me really think about this....
Stephan don’t be scared to tell us anything It’s good to hear from man how man precive woman and relationship,and you delivering msg in such a loving manner .Thank you
You were VERY CLEAR, and not all over the place at ALL! It made PERFECT sence! Yet the problem in TODAYS generation, is people moving to quickly and not taking the TIME to PROPERLY get to KNOW one another to see if there interested even align with one another. Also, women and men BOTH, trying to live up to the standards of what they THINK society wants them to, instead of being true and genuine to themselves. That is putting it G rated lol... Aside from the GREAT advise that you constantly give, I absolutely LOVE the fact that you try to accommodate each and every ONE, of your supporters, not only do you preach, yet, you actually PRACTICE what you preach! I applaud you for that!🤞 Keep up the great work, you are going to make it VERY FAR in life, & do wonderful things for so many people! We need more people that are willing and able to USE their VOICE and the knowledge that they have acquired along the way. God bless🙏
I've been listening to your channel and taking notes each video for 3 months, and it's working like crazy!! Omg, super grateful to be able to access a man's perspective on how to captivate men! Thank you Stephan 🤴🏿🖤
I agree with what you said about the drastic hair change. But in my opinion this is one of the things that causes us to lose ourselves in a relationship because we can’t respectfully be ourselves. So many things have to be compromised and sacrificed. Maybe a relationship isn’t for me.
Interestingly, I have just experienced the hair thing. When I first met my guy 2 and a half months ago, I got my hair done shortly after and I did my usual thing (multicolored “mermaid” hair) and although he laughed and was a really good sport about it, I could sense that it wasn’t his favorite look. This week, I was due for a hair appointment so I asked him beforehand what he wanted me to do this time and he admitted that he wanted to see it a “normal “ color.” I happily got it done back to my natural light brown with blonde highlights. It’s such a simple thing to make him happy. 😊
The food point is solid. My fiance has a meal his mom made that she gave me the recipe for....I doctored it up to our tastes and he loves it so much I have made it once a week almost every week in the years we've been together. Once you both get something between you and your SO the way you enjoy it, don't change it! You can really bond over it.
I have walked in masculine energy for so long that I instantly felt weak when I learned to walk in my feminine energy. I struggle daily to stay in my feminine energy. I have to because I have a daughter, but the damage is so great that I have received by a man until it is SUPER HARD!!
'Serving' comes in many forms...Service to your man is part of pampering him, and good cooking is definitely pampering! Great video, Stephan. Good to know I am doing the right things to keep my beautiful man happy!
I do have something to add as a tip to men regarding attractiveness and a woman keeping up with her appearance: Since women who truly want to lose weight often work very hard to do so, if you see her working out, trying to eat right, and she’s not losing weight or changing shape at the same rate as you, PLEASE celebrate and encourage her efforts! Be understanding of how men and women do have different battles physiologically. Do NOT be verbally abusive about how she’s not doing something that is so easy for you to do. I say this because I saw this happen with a friend. She was always overweight and working on her fitness (we worked on it together). Prior to her marriage, her man didn’t say much about it. Upon marriage, he berated and spoke down to her nonstop to the point that she started planning ways to take her own life and thought she’d married the wrong man after praying about it. It took over a year, much marriage counseling, and tons of prayer in community to help them really see each other. They’re marriage is stronger than ever now and they’ll be celebrating 2 years next week, so that should be encouraging to others. But I just wanted to point this out because this does happen to women a lot. Even if she’s NOT working on herself, berating her won’t encourage her, but shut her down. Be encouraging, compliment her, come up with ways You guys could do it together to make her feel so special and supported that she feels watered by your love enough to start really considering it and putting in the effort. We’re not dudes. Don’t encourage us like we are. You’ll only get the opposite effect or worse.
Your right about the food honestly.......and please do NOT hold back. I have to have the real hard truth please it saves me so much time!!! If you refrain from saying things it isn't fair to those of us that are grown and secure enough to hear it. You have helped me so much in just this short year I've been listening. You have given me understanding, peace , comfort and closure to many issues and hang ups I was tormenting myself with. I know how hard it is to speak the truth and I respect and appreciate your message......thank you!!
The introduction is powerful! Listening to you has opened my eyes on understanding the needs of men. And it's made me do surgery on my past relationships and I admit I was very selfish and negative and sadly the relationships ended. I'm glad my past experiences are now blessings to learn my own naked soul. I'm guilty of always wanting a man to put my happiness at first. Thanks Stephen, I can't believe I'm laughing at myself with every video but it's helping me alot and my mindset is reforming. This season is mine thank you Lord.
Stephan has great knowledge on everything he posts. I do understand that I may lacked 1 and a possible of these, and it wasn’t that I didn’t want to do those, it was that I was working on it. He may have caught me by surprise in getting into a relationship since for 20 some years he didn’t want that from me. I still seen us as friends building a deeper friendship. Once I got myself together and was doing these things, he was already looking elsewhere and this was only in a 7 month period. I’m happy to say, I get it, I take ownership for my shortcomings, and I wish him well with his fiancé that he only knew for about 7 months before proposing. I just want to love someone who will appreciate and understand me, and I be their peace!
@@jayc5756 Thank you! I’m happy to say, I’m over him! Let someone else have that headache and uneasiness! I know who I am and what I bring to a relationship and it’s not drama because I don’t do that. I am a peaceful person, so of course I would bring peace!
My sis recommended me to you and I’m glad she did. I’m having trouble with being selfish so I understand this message completely so thank you!!! Everything you said hit me right on the nail!!! ✨I’m going to take everything your saying into consideration because your right… 🤗
I love all of these points!!! 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👌🏽 I always support my man it’s always 50/50 no competition, no one is better than the other! We try to better ourselves everyday! Relationship can work as long as you listen to your partner and meet them half way!
At my age I have done and been this woman but I seem to get all I need from a man except for communication on his emotions and feelings. He feels I should just know and don’t have to tell me at times. I need to know where I stand so I know how to be in the relationship
Same, I actually regret doing wifey things such as cooking. You can be an understanding woman, great at sex, great at cooking, and a good girl. But some guys rather be with the bad girl. Some guys will choose the hotter chick who doesn't do these things. 🤷♀️
@@justicevibes1252 because they're idiots,and some keeps both,the one that cooks and clean,and the hot girls on the side,so maybe one can try doing and being all these in one.🤔
@@sylviemorgan9770 that's what most men do- they keep both. History has shown us this, so I don't listen to all this nurturing talk. Of course the man will stay if you're willing to pour into him- how else can he use you up? But, he'll chase the women that have nothing to offer and nothing to lose. I think this guy is talking about himself.
When you meet the 'one' & he's up for it spend a whole weekend indoors getting to know each other. Ask a million questions & get 'deep'. Write it all down and stick it on the wall. That way you both have a template, the truth, and understand your better halfs boundaries so you respect each other more.....worked for us really well. No dramas......
@@aishamohammedaliyu8639 Was able to bring your husband back how??? Hope your not introducing other to witchcraft, let's put our trust in God. I believe in the power of prayer, Jesus is the answer for all situations. God bless ☺💕
I feel you on this information that you have given us Stephan. I believe from my experience in life is that we as women need to just be who God has created us to be and to really understand our abilities and trueness of what we are to the man that God has for us individually. We have to stop thinking that it’s all about us and to accept and realize that we were created and made for man not them made and created for us. When we surrender to what God wants and desire us to do accordingly to what he wills for us, only then will we be able to receive, embrace and accept the man that God has for us individually. 💯💪🏽❤️🙏🏽
Having sex based on emotion is an every day happening, but, when chemistry is the source for an intimate connection, this will take the couple to a higher level of an intimate experience.
I hear you on that but I'm not going to be giving him food all the time if a committed relationship has not been established. Too many of us Caribbean women have been feeding men belonging to other women and encouraging them to treat the gf as an option
@@eac-guy7272 Yea idk nothing about feeding no man that has another woman lol. That's not what I'm talking about lol. I mean just in Caribbean culture, its custom to serve our men.
Hi there @Stephan Speaks, I trust that you are doing well. Let me first begin by saying that your videos are so insightful, enlightening and overall very informative. Another thing that I love about your channel is that you are openly expressing your thoughts, opinions and knowledge WITHOUT forcefully oppressing them upon your viewers, so thank you for that. Most often times, you find so-called "relationship advice" which are a whole bunch of Do's and Don'ts whereas in your videos you're simply speaking the truth and explaining the Why's and How's behind certain topics. Now, for my question... Regarding the second point - allowing your man to have freedom - I still require some clarity. I completely understand where you're coming from and I agree with everything you're saying and I fully believe that I allow him to do what he enjoys. However, regarding his female friends, I have not felt comfortable with him hanging out with them alone. In the very beginning of our relationship, I discovered that he had slept with one of his "female best friends" from high-school. This was absolutely disheartening and put me into a place of disarray and mistrust. However, with relationships come a lot of forgiveness and we had many in-depth conversations as to why it happened, what he's going to do to avoid it happening again, our feelings towards the situation etc. and found a lot of understanding. I trust him and fully believe that we can prosper in our relationship. We will be together for two years in October. My issue comes in with his female friends and allowing him to hang out with them alone... A few times I have come across what I viewed as inappropriate conversations/interactions (such as flirtatious texts, comments under their social media posts etc.) and lies (having crushes on some of them, sexual relations, not communicating to me that he was seeing them and me having to find out on my own [which made me feel like it was suspicious] etc.) and it made me feel very threatened. And I am aware that many of these friends have crushes on him and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. Therefore, I have asked that he doesn't hang out with any female friends alone and I (from the very beginning) also do not hang out with any of my male friends on my own. I have also obviously been speaking to my psychologist about this and she made me aware that as much as they are my own insecurities, my feelings are valid as it's not as though I am making these requests without any valid reason etc. and it's not as though I've demanded it. I had a long discussion with him as to why I feel the way I do about this issue and he told me that he understands fully and will support me with this. I also told him that if he's not happy with my request and he feels that I am suffocating/policing him, we can easily end the relationship. I also noticed that majority of them seem to dislike me as they have had attitudes towards me etc. and barely take interest in me. That does not make me feel very comfortable at all. However, he apologized for the way these things have made me feel and told me that he understands where I'm coming from and will do better - that it's a sacrifice he's willing to make. When it comes to his male friends, however, I am very lenient and allow him to do whatever he pleases with them and I do, in fact, have very good relations with them as well which makes me feel included and safe. To me, this is a balance within our relationship and something by which I also abide so I don't feel as though I am being controlling/biased etc. If his female friends were to try to initiate a personal relationship with me as well, perhaps I would not feel so threatened. And of course I do not place all the responsibility on them to reach out to me, as I have attempted to create conversation, hang out with them, interact on social media etc. but it's never proven to be any good. What are your opinions and do you have any guidance for me when it comes to this?
I love the way you think about relationships. The equality in love I feel is so important. I really appreciate your advice. Thank you so much for putting these videos up. I have been having much better luck in love since I started watching. Thank you. Keep up the good work man you're awesome. 😊
I agree. We are all different individuals that come together with good / bad habits from our past. It is important to understand, know each other by working together not demanding or imposing thoughts/ ways of doing things.
Stephan I respect you a great deal...you are open honest respectful and give awesome advice....this is an awesome video and I cracked up laughing when you said he may bust one if you just communicate you are willing to please him🤣🤣🤣
I was in the middle of Walmart, listening to this as I was shopping. He said that, and I busted out laughing, in the women’s clothing section. 😂 I did the “quickly check and make sure no one saw/heard me” glance, LOL! 😂
You are so correct about the hair, one time my man cut all his sideburns off and I was annoyed; I spoke to him about it. I love seeing him with it can he please don’t do it again. It’s all about communication and understanding. Either person wouldn’t know how you feel if you don’t say anything about it.
I love and picked up every gem dropped! Many things are just natural to many of us and we do them because our hearts desire to serve and please our man in these ways. One of the greatest and absolute joys for a woman is a happy man and children. Firstly pleasing God! I’m all about it.
❤️ Join my SPECIAL coaching program here 👉www.receivingmyblessings.com - so many women are experiencing AMAZING results!
this is also why communication is key! if you dont like men that take trips- dont get serious with one.. i feel we (women)dont communicate well till later
Hello I've been listening to your you tube videos non stop for a week straight and yesterday light bulb went off. I finally completely broke it off with a man that was very married. I want to say thank you so much for what you do. You quite literally changed my life. I wanted to know what book and program of yours do you recommend I start with
Stephan, you are such a great communicator. Thanks for being transparent and vulnerable so that we can benefit from it. It is appreciated.
Thank you for sharing !! 💯👣🙏
Best relationship video I’ve ever watched. ✝️
What I've learned about men is. If he wants you he wants you. If he doesn't he doesn't period that simple. There's no magic fix. If you have it all together and he's attracted. Then if you don't have it all together he still will pursue you. Because he See's value in you and he knows y'all can build on the little you have. Oh Queen just be yourself! And have morals, having morals will weed out who's here to stay or to play. Bless✨
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤
I feel like this if the man or the woman loves you they going to change what they own you not want to have to save if you love me you will start doing this or do that he's going to change on his own and if he doesn't then you could just leave them alone have to keep it going
@Vanja Lo 0
Exactly!!!! AMEN, sooo true! I couldn’t have said it better myself. Complete and Absolute facts. 💯💯👍🏾👍🏾
But we r only friends? Isn't building a friendship 1st good? Before dating?
If you want to ATTRACT the RIGHT person in your life then you have to be the right person. Also work on issues such as self- love including self worth. When you love yourself that's when you will know what you deserve and not entertain things that are beneath you. ENOUGH SAID.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Perfectly said!
Truth 👍❤
We must Believe it !!
Agree 💯 Your comment is complete fact. Been there..
1. Relationships are like a bank account; put in more than you take out. 2. Treat each other the way you’d like to be treated; the Golden Rule. 3. Let them do what they want to do, so you can see what they’d rather do. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
Love this❤
The golden rule is no longer the standard, now it’s the platinum rule. Not everyone wants to be treated the way you want to be treated. Treat others as they want to be treated, that’s the platinum rule.
I agree about the love bank. It’s a great way to live in a relationship. As well as let them do what they want. You learn a lot about a person when they are in their element.
Treat your man with respect. Love him and trust him.then he will return the respect to you
A relationship requires three major components….COMMUNICATION, COMMITMENT, & COMPROMISE! PERIOD
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
My friend compromised when her husband made a baby with another woman saying bcs she didn't want another child he found someone who would. They are still married. Smh
@@CradleEpiscopalian56 um not that kind of compromise
@@CradleEpiscopalian56 she is an angel 🙌🏽 I could never
yep the 3 C’s
You know previously when a man pulled away I used to freak out ( started seeing someone but he went silent) but now I accept that we all are different and I always make sure my life is filled with joy and hobbies so when I am around people including him. We live in a small town I always see him, I am genuinely just confident and happy..that is powerful.. Learned alot from you sir :) you should never be mad at someone for doing what's best for them even if it hurts sometimes.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
I love this perspective ❤️❤️
Facts Facts Facts!!! I had to learn the hard way, married early and never had any guidance of what a marriage or relationship meant. Once I divorced after 15yrs I decided to spend time with myself , learning myself. I realized part of the problem was me. I became his mother , not his partner. Best lesson I’ve could of learned 💯
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, but I'm glad you are now on a path to healing 🙌 ❤
Thank you 🙏🏼 🙌🏼
@Husaina Muhammadu is that your phone number 🤔
@@muhammedumar4838 thanks for the information, but at this time in my life I’m enjoying the journey of learning me. Being the best version of myself, so when that journey comes around again, I will know who I want to be with and we yoke together.
Wow..sis u read my mind
Yes, letting him have his freedom allows me, as a secure woman, peace of mind for the times I want my freedom😊
Most definitely!
Yes, great post I totally agree with you 👍 🧡
Yes absolutely!!
Not only that but it may give him opportunities to choose you… over and over again
It is wonderful to serve/help each other. I make dinner...you mow the lawn...I clean the bedroom....you change the oil in the car etc. It works perfectly!!!!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I don’t know why you were so worried & hesitant about these points, this is a fantastic video! I know for a fact a woman would be willing to do all of these things for the man she truly loves (or at least want to work on that) because she wants to make him happy. Brilliant guidance! ❤️
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
🙏❤️
@Paris very true..
Because unfortunately not ALL women will receive this advice lol. You’re obviously one of the good ones! 😁
True
I seriously had to get to 45 to understand that it's okay to go out and enjoy yourself apart from your partner. You are so right! Restrictions don't stop anything that someone wants to do. They will find a way. However, if you encourage your partner to go enjoy themselves they usually appreciate it. I don't want anyone to stop my fun with my girls, forbid it for me to stop my guy.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
💯💯💯💯facts
My ex of almost 30 years cheated and never went out of town!!! doesn’t matter where they are what they do a cheaters a cheater end of story!!! let them do what they want. Never take them back.
Dictating your partners moves is exhausting. A relationship shouldn’t feel like a prison. Space is healthy, and gives you time to miss your partner. I hear you. ❣
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Space can also make you ‘grow apart’ from your supposedly man/woman 🤷♀️
@@LUCKYME_777 you are correct. A good balance in order for it to remain.
@@LUCKYME_777 it depends on how long a couple is apart. Space to indulge in self-care is healthy, just as spending quality time together is healthy. A couple constantly in each other's pockets without a break is unhealthy and can potentially breed contempt.
🙌 100% agree. Give your man all the freedom he needs. Because when you trust your man, he comes back to you like a rubber band and the attraction is on fire. 🔥🔥🔥
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Amen. When you have good men in your life you will not put up with less. As for a cheater if he wants to cheat you are not going to stop him. Walk away. One of advice my brother told me is pay attention his actions more to what he says.
The words need to align with the actions. Thank you for sharing ❤
True.
Yeah, his actions gotta match up. But yeah, pay more attention to his actions. Sadly, a lot of women can get Easily manipulated with words unfortunately. So idk. But yeah, good tips from your brother.
Relationships are built upon giving as much as receiving……when you show that you’re interested in what concerns your partner, they’re subject to show you more appreciation
You're absolutely right!
I just want to meet a man who will allow me to just be a woman. I am strong yes but I want a man who can lead and allow me just nurture and care for him. I can’t imagine not allowing someone to have space to enjoy themselves. This video was very informative. Somethings I’ve already been practicing and others I can work on.
I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏
Hi daphney
Topic on hair… I’m a single woman dating & I noticed the men I attract & would actually consider a long term relationship with, love natural hair. I love units but I also love my natural hair. I’ve decided to challenge myself to only wear my natural & braids all ‘22. Such a struggle 😩 but I found when I evaluated the root of why I wear weave, I knew I had to make a change. I’m proud of me for fully embracing my natural hair & for finally not feeling like it’s not good enough for special occasions. Plus, I’m saving so much money & my hair is at its longest length. In addition, I’m satisfying & attracting more men I’d enjoy dating. WIN-WIN 😏💕
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
Sick of trying to attract them by hair. It is what it is. I wear braids, natural wigs hats. I do what i want .
@@julianathompson173 Same, I do what makes me happy.
Look I’ve been wearing braids since December 21… I take them out and put them right back in😅😅😅 nobody will see my hair this year and I’ve been turning heads left and right!! 😅
@_PrettyBrownBrown Girl me too… Compliments on hair especially from men.
Stephen, you hit the nail on the head. If I had listened to this video in early May of this year, I would've had that " do what", "he doesn't do that for me", type attitude, but God.❤️The one thing that attracted my hubby to me is that I was feminine. Somewhere down through the years a breakdown in communication occurred, and my walls of protection went up. I felt like he had walls up (he was like an android) and I grew tired of him not reciprocating the love and and thoughtfulness I was giving him, so my walls went up. I grew bitter towards him, and I resented him for not showing some type of emotion. We were two broken people.😔 Fast forward, we've been together for about 21 years, married almost 20 years. As a Christian I could feel the Lord prompting me to pray for him down through the years, but I struggled with even doing this. To be truthful, it's by the grace of God that we're still together. I finally got to a point where I got tired of being angry and bitter toward him, and I cried out to the Lord, "God I'm tired of holding onto this anger and bitterness", please heal me, and take this away from me. The Lord did just that. I don't lash out at him anymore, and I continue to let the Lord heal me in areas where I need healing. We did run into a hiccup, and I felt that we should do marriage counseling. He not being a Christian yet was willing to go. Since we started marriage counseling, I can tell you that God is working through the counselor. We are given assignments every week to do, and the way our counselor teaches (he's a pastor by the way) the Lord has used him to open my eyes to see areas that I needed to improve on, and also my husband. I also found some really good prayers to pray for my husband. I now pray for my husband on a daily basis, I serve him his dinner (I always did this), I wash his clothes, I fix his lunch, I call him to see how his day is going at work, etc. Some would say, you should have already been doing these things, but when you don't have an good example from your mother, you kind of follow those same bad traits.😔 Anywho, since I've been praying for him, his heart, his salvation, the Lord has also been doing a work on my heart. I asked the Lord to give me his heart to love my husband, to give me his eyes to see my husband, I asked the Lord to give me a new love for my husband. I asked the Lord to restore my marriage to how he wants it to be, and that we would be a better example to our children of what REAL love and happiness looks like in a marriage. The Lord is doing just that. I am now able to come to my husband and express what is on my heart, and he is open to hear me, and I do the same for him. I am now in my mind forties, and he'll be the big 50 this year. When I tell you our intimacy has gone to a new level, I am not joking. It's like we're in our 20's again, lol.😊 Where I was stiff and rigid, I have let down those walls completely and I now feel free, safe and comfortable to express my love toward him. Do we have disagreements, sure, and the temptation to put that wall back up around my heart comes, but I think I've come to far to allow the enemy to destroy what God is trying to restore. Day by day I continue to trust the Lord with my heart, and remember that He knows what's best for me and my husband. At the end of the day I know that it's okay to be feminine and vulnerable, not always have something to say, and to step back and allow my husband to be the leader that God is calling him to be. I also realized that I can still have a happy marriage even if my spouse is unsaved. God is good!!❤️ It's refreshing to see a man who is willing to hear from the Lord, gain wisdom, knowledge and understanding, and discernment, and be willing to step into the calling that the Lord has for his life, and be bold about it. I pray that you would continue to walk with the Lord, and that the Lord will bless you in abundance and expand your territory.💖
This is gold. Solid gold. The understanding that love and relationships have to be watered like a flower. If we stop nurturing and giving attention to it, it will eventually die. Also I really appreciate the diplomacy in explaining why a woman should consult her partner before changing her look. I would want my man to do so as well. Great content.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
Many years ago I would have been triggered by this video but I’ve put in the work to heal and have a better understanding of what it takes to make a relationship work. Thank you Stephan for always being upfront regardless of any backlash. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom with love and conviction. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve already helped my life change for the better and I know that my healing is having a positive effect on those around me. God bless!!!
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you!! I appreciate you!!🙏🏼😇💖
That's very powerful! Sounds like you've been doing some amazing work!
@@mariaakopyan-dignifieddivo5694 Thank you!!! It’s paying off. I’m so much happier now. 💕
@@lilyanaaceves4430 I love hearing that!
Relationships that are rooted in love thrive when love feels like freedom. When a woman is in love with a man it is easy for her to meet his needs especially if the man is pouring into her as well. Yes, the best relationships learn to put the other's needs before their own at times. Love is serving and catering that is the epitome of humility. Selfishness & love are extreme opposites, so if the focus is all on me, then the relationships will not flourish. I really believe that when people are in love it inspires them to be their best self. You want the best for yourself & your partner. Sex is not really an issue if you can learn to connect in emotional & physical intimacy. Also, if meeting their needs brings you joy than physical intimacy should be pleasurable for both partners. Their has to be reciprocity on all levels, and mutual effort. Great points in your video. Excellent example. Only one dispute, if a man had locs & a beard, and wanted to change it up, that wouldn't affect my love or attraction. I would support whatever made him the happiest. Feeling confident is attraction as well. Although, I agree looking visually appealing does help to keep sparks ignited. All love for this video, truth is always needed. Blessings & abundance to you.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback and may you be blessed as well 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you for great content. Always happy to give feedback. ❤ 🙏
@@JamaicaLove876 Thank you very much I'm glad to hear that ❤
@@MeetStephanSpeaks You are always welcome ❤
@@MeetStephanSpeaks this is total truth!!
The more we work on our own selves, the better we attract, in this case, a better partner and a phenomenal relationship. There’s no such thing as the “right person” (to an extend) we have to become the right person first! You got this, I believe in you and invest into YOU! Best investment you can ever do is in yourself for your family, others, future and lives overall! 💯% back guarantee return on your investment! Have a great day! 🚀🎉❤️
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you Stephan. We all appreciate you ❤️
@@NathalieLazo Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
🗣🎯💯❤‼️
🎯!!!!
With growth and prayer.. I learned at 43 that leading with love and understanding and not aggressive and aggravation gets you alot farther..
Truth
This video was most excellent and 100% on point! We, as women, need to understand the power we have in our femininity (not talking about sex). I feel like men and women have damn near flipped roles these days! But, so many women think there’s something wrong with these things and there really isn’t! I just told my sons girlfriend that there’s so much power in us tapping into our feminine selves…you can get so much more from a man emotionally, when you make him feel a certain way! My guy looooves that can cook and do cook for him! He will have a plate made for him, when he comes home from golf tonight! And, yes, I make it and take it to him in his mancave! And, guess what! He is so much more eager to clean the kitchen and do for me! He asked for spaghetti and meatballs and I made the sauce and meatballs from scratch! He told me to just buy them made…nope! He is so appreciative of the things I do! He says all the time I am a gem of a woman!
I used to cater to my ex hb but he didn't care about doing things for me. When he worked overtime and got up real early, so did I. I made him breakfast and his lunch so he could take it with him. I made his favorite meals. He used to complain I didn't make spaghetti often enough, guess what, I made him spaghetti the one time with homemade sauce from our garden tomatoes, and he said he wasn't hungry. Of course sitting at the bar for a long time drinking beer, no wonder he wasn't hungry. Well, he wore it on his lap. He was very controlling and a narcissist. He never appreciated anything I did. He did say I made good sauce and I should jar it up and sell it, but near the end of or relationship I couldn't even do that right even though I didn't change the recipe. I couldn't do anything right. I knew he was cheating but didn't have the proof but like they say a woman knows.
@@lindacahoon829 We absolutely know!
@@lindacahoon829 He sounds like a Narcissist
@@lindacahoon829 if it's a wrong man, all this femininity would end up looking like buffoonery.
He sounds so similar to my ex-husband. I love to cook, but he would never actually try anything that was homemade. Would not even put a forkful in his mouth. 😒 Not even from-scratch birthday cakes I made FOR HIM, nothing. I had to switch and make him stuff that came frozen or from a box. It was really disheartening/boring for me. Even catering to him that way (and basically every other way), he did not help out with dishes or anything else around the house/yard. I got really burnt out from it all and still sometimes wonder why he was like that. Maybe just a little spoiled? I don’t know. 🤷🏻♀️
Recently started listening to you. Thank for educating me in the importance and understanding what it takes to hace a successful relationship in such a raw, honest and humorous way. Thank you! 🤣🤣
My pleasure ❤️
It's completely true. When we're not fighting our natural instincts to be nurturing and loving, there's a happiness and strength that comes from it.
Love your videos and you have a great laugh.
I've been watching you Stephen for a while and I have read your books. I've learned so much and the most important thing I've learned was self love and self respect which has lead me to leave a very toxic relationship and stop dealing with just anyone. I'm know with a heaven sent Man of my dreams. Now my focus is on longevity with my Man because I wish to be with him for a lifetime. He's amazing!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Which book will be of help?
@@milcahsamoei6696 Healing after heartbreak was my start.
Yup that was me, I used my baby daddy for a baby! everything you mentioned was the truth and my feelings exactly! I was getting older in age and wanted another child. I have never been openly vulnerable with a man afraid of being hurt.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Next time, just pay for sperm donation. Easier and no legal ramifications.
I don’t recall how I came across Stephan Speaks but I’ve been hooked for months now. The clarity and openness in how subjects are broken down and explained are so real and heartfelt. Everything makes sense after Stephan Speaks. This particular video is my fave I think. The hair 😅 💯
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback ❤
Ok I remembered how I came across Stephan Speaks and that was through the School of Greatness w Lewis Howes. He brings on the best speakers and Stephen Speaks was one of those jewels!!! Been here, following now for the past 8 months straight.
I've known all of these things, but with me starting a new relationship i needed to hear this again today, as a reminder so I don't let fear overtake me into reacting to things I normally wouldn't do. Thank you❣️
So me right now!!!
I feel this
Gosh. Thank you explaining about the hair-attractiveness view. My husband expresses his desire for me not to change things, but I’ve never understood why, so it’s felt very controlling. The feeling of being controlled feels like being held captive. Feeling held captive feels like he doesn’t appreciate your vision of who you are, and that makes you feel that you want to escape.
Totally agree with every word you said and I'm sorry some women get offended with things that can really help them out. I listen though.
Always dropping gems!!! 25:21 😅😅😅, you definitly triggered some people with the serving.I was triggered because I did that in a 5 year marriage and still he walked away from me and 2 kids and never looked back. It's been 3 years and I am not yet near where I want to be in terms of healing so a relationship is not in view at the moment but I'm taking note. Thank you Stephan
I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Amen
@@husseniaminu5577 I don't need your help and I don't want him back. Thank you Sir
Hello Brother I just discovered your channel a few days ago and loving everything you’ve got to say. Thank you 🙏
This is a very interesting video
In a relationship isn't only the man supposed to make his woman happy
Men wanna be happy in a relationships too
It goes both ways
Men have feelings too
Interesting video stephan you do not have to be scared to say anything in this video, because every thing you are saying is so correct
Men feelings are always ignored and isn't right
I love this video
Thank you I'm glad to hear that ❤ 🙏
Wow ❤ thank you for this! I needed this kind of brutal, honesty to slap me right in the face. I am guilty of some of the things you mentioned, and I am now choosing to Evolve instead of repeating toxic generational cycles .Lauren London said " Trasmute pain into purpose " and I am holding on to that. Your videos have really helped me understand men better, and that they're really not that complicated. However receiving a Godly man is so scary when you're used to toxic men. So you've got to heal, heal, love yourself, forgive yourself, find whag makes you happy and gives you pleasure in life 😊. God's plans for us are of Good and not of Evil, to give us the future we hoped for.
My husband had me raising him and our 3 year old . I had nothing left for myself, and I enabled the abuse and cheating, deception, carbon copying etc.
I was jumping hoops for him to show him that he was worthy of my love. MeanWhile he became more and more complacent and consistent in his inconsistencies .
When in reality he never even chose me to begin with. I was his slave and servant. That was normal for me as I referenced back to a traumatic andd abusive childhood . I thank God that I knew the love of a mother it saved me. I am unlearning placing so much pressure on my kid to make me happy, and it helps me beat myself up less, bec really whatever I project onto my son, is what I feel inside. Inner child wounds crying for help.
thank you for reminding me that Serving is a Beautiful thing. You're a point of light ✨ I have been so Mad -Sad(Home the movie) and really triggered because of how badly I've been abused, I didn't know the extent until I ran away to another city. I'm choosing to love me more than my husband of the nations( cheater at heart). I wasn't perfect however I gave my best and kept healing him while he kept drawing me. I tried to get back at him but what I've done is a pinch of salt . He's now trying to steal money from me, but I declare that God will restore everything that belongs to me. God has a soulmate for each of us , if we choose to just trust Him and the story He wrote for us. It's not always easy but God is a man of his word!
You are valuable, you deserve an unconditional love. If God /Source/the Universe loves you unconditionally don't settle for breadcrumbs you need to go for the whole pie ✨ 💖 you need to bake it too 😉
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
So good! Thank you.
My pleasure ❤️
I loved this video! I subscribe to that other saying, "Happy Spouse, Happy House. We have to make sure both people are happy & check in on that very often. Thanks for always providing such amazing, straightforward content.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
Stephan, excellent points! Relationships are unique. I think communication and setting boundaries early on are a must to ensure you’re both on the same page. It all boils down to honesty, trust and respect with each other. Just my opinion. You are a great coach.💯
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
i’m at 16:11 rn & i just wanna say i’m so enjoying this video so much! i’m 22 & my mom calls me 60 cause she said she didn’t think like me when she was my age 😂 i’d be interesting to bounce questions off of you from a women in her early 20s !! but love you Stephan ❗️ you’re definitely walking in your purpose 🙏🏾 Amen
❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
just to emphasis my mom’s 51 , 😂 not 60
@@sambilyen hi Sam
Love yourself. Work on your hobbies & passions. Get in your bag. Be very observant. Dating should be an equal effort feeling. I haven't felt that from anyone I've dated so I'm just building my life. Maybe the right one will come. But can we have a video where we talk about how dating has turned into more of hook-up culture?! I'm not about it. I miss the old days where people actually had morals in dating. 💯
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you!! I feel like the huge focus on sex in the media has rlly changed the expectations in dating.
Me, too! Now Im alone again at 60 and I just dont have the energy to start all over
I truly understand your comments right now. I recently did something different with my hair. And as soon as my male friend came over, he said I like your hair! Which was awesome because it was totally different than what I've ever done and that was the first thing he commented on which made me feel so amazing so men do recognize and notice things once in awhile and just the fact that he comment and said he liked it was huge cuz it was something totally different that I've never done before with my color and my cut and everything so that was really made me feel amazing that he commented.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
This advice is so good (I'm on #2). If you 'let' your man go out and he does the wrong thing, then you have to decide 'do I like this? do I enjoy being with someone like this? can I be treated better elsewhere?' You can decide that a relationship is not for you, but you can't be controlling. This goes for everyone. If your woman also disrespects the relationship, that ain't your girl. Decide if you want to continue to feel that way or find someone who's gonna respect boundaries.
I feel like I babbled. Ask if anything needs clarification.
Thanks!
My pleasure ❤️
I was so confused as to why much younger men were approaching me after my divorce. I am remarried to a man 8 years younger than me…taking care of ourselves makes them feel safe knowing we won’t let ourselves go after marriage. This must me true. He was proposed in less than a year :)
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I honestly thought my loving, nurturing self is my biggest weakness until this video. It sure has caused me the most problems. 🥺
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Me too. I've heard I'm too loving .. but the right Man will wind up loving that characteristic in you
Very good video! 👏🏾 Connection, attraction emotional awareness , transparency, honesty. A man and a woman willing to serve each other.. fulfillment!!!❤
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
It's give and take. For me to get on the way to a relationship there has to be communication. I won't go anywhere until I know this works.❤
I get much joy in serving. Makes me happy to see my partner enjoying that from me. It is definitely an act of loving and caring. In the right dynamic it is key because he needs to know how much he's appreciated.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I understand this. I already had piercings, when we started dating he worded his dislike very carefully. we began to get more serious, and he finally said outright he doesn't like my nose and lip piercing. He has said the tattoos are fine, but I'll ask him his opinion before I get anymore. You made me really think about this....
Stephan don’t be scared to tell us anything
It’s good to hear from man how man precive woman and relationship,and you delivering msg in such a loving manner .Thank you
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that!
I must say bro,,,,,,you make alot of sense! Im not surprised this video got so many views...keep up the good work.
Serving is a beautiful thing and humbling. Our Lord and Saviour set this beautiful example.
You're absolutely right. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Agree with you completely. As women we should naturally be hospitable. Not only to strangers, but also to our husbands, family & friends.
You were VERY CLEAR, and not all over the place at ALL! It made PERFECT sence! Yet the problem in TODAYS generation, is people moving to quickly and not taking the TIME to PROPERLY get to KNOW one another to see if there interested even align with one another. Also, women and men BOTH, trying to live up to the standards of what they THINK society wants them to, instead of being true and genuine to themselves. That is putting it G rated lol... Aside from the GREAT advise that you constantly give, I absolutely LOVE the fact that you try to accommodate each and every ONE, of your supporters, not only do you preach, yet, you actually PRACTICE what you preach! I applaud you for that!🤞 Keep up the great work, you are going to make it VERY FAR in life, & do wonderful things for so many people! We need more people that are willing and able to USE their VOICE and the knowledge that they have acquired along the way. God bless🙏
This talk was amazing. Many good reminders and this is a perfect share. Sharing with my family, friends and followers.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your support 🙏 ❤
I've been listening to your channel and taking notes each video for 3 months, and it's working like crazy!!
Omg, super grateful to be able to access a man's perspective on how to captivate men! Thank you Stephan 🤴🏿🖤
I'm happy that the videos have been helpful to you 🙏
I agree with what you said about the drastic hair change. But in my opinion this is one of the things that causes us to lose ourselves in a relationship because we can’t respectfully be ourselves. So many things have to be compromised and sacrificed. Maybe a relationship isn’t for me.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
This is Brilliant Joy meeting you here ,the young people need to listen up here 🙏❤️
Interestingly, I have just experienced the hair thing. When I first met my guy 2 and a half months ago, I got my hair done shortly after and I did my usual thing (multicolored “mermaid” hair) and although he laughed and was a really good sport about it, I could sense that it wasn’t his favorite look. This week, I was due for a hair appointment so I asked him beforehand what he wanted me to do this time and he admitted that he wanted to see it a “normal “ color.” I happily got it done back to my natural light brown with blonde highlights. It’s such a simple thing to make him happy. 😊
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
The food point is solid. My fiance has a meal his mom made that she gave me the recipe for....I doctored it up to our tastes and he loves it so much I have made it once a week almost every week in the years we've been together. Once you both get something between you and your SO the way you enjoy it, don't change it! You can really bond over it.
I have walked in masculine energy for so long that I instantly felt weak when I learned to walk in my feminine energy. I struggle daily to stay in my feminine energy. I have to because I have a daughter, but the damage is so great that I have received by a man until it is SUPER HARD!!
'Serving' comes in many forms...Service to your man is part of pampering him, and good cooking is definitely pampering! Great video, Stephan. Good to know I am doing the right things to keep my beautiful man happy!
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I do have something to add as a tip to men regarding attractiveness and a woman keeping up with her appearance:
Since women who truly want to lose weight often work very hard to do so, if you see her working out, trying to eat right, and she’s not losing weight or changing shape at the same rate as you, PLEASE celebrate and encourage her efforts! Be understanding of how men and women do have different battles physiologically. Do NOT be verbally abusive about how she’s not doing something that is so easy for you to do.
I say this because I saw this happen with a friend. She was always overweight and working on her fitness (we worked on it together). Prior to her marriage, her man didn’t say much about it. Upon marriage, he berated and spoke down to her nonstop to the point that she started planning ways to take her own life and thought she’d married the wrong man after praying about it. It took over a year, much marriage counseling, and tons of prayer in community to help them really see each other. They’re marriage is stronger than ever now and they’ll be celebrating 2 years next week, so that should be encouraging to others. But I just wanted to point this out because this does happen to women a lot. Even if she’s NOT working on herself, berating her won’t encourage her, but shut her down. Be encouraging, compliment her, come up with ways You guys could do it together to make her feel so special and supported that she feels watered by your love enough to start really considering it and putting in the effort. We’re not dudes. Don’t encourage us like we are. You’ll only get the opposite effect or worse.
Your right about the food honestly.......and please do NOT hold back. I have to have the real hard truth please it saves me so much time!!! If you refrain from saying things it isn't fair to those of us that are grown and secure enough to hear it.
You have helped me so much in just this short year I've been listening. You have given me understanding, peace , comfort and closure to many issues and hang ups I was tormenting myself with. I know how hard it is to speak the truth and I respect and appreciate your message......thank you!!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
U are Exactly 💯 on point in what you had said in the podcast.Thank you for having the balls to speak on what had needed to be said
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
Now Stephan this was so cool to here you say this or suggest this as a pre requisite ♥️♥️😊😊
Glad you liked it!!
The introduction is powerful! Listening to you has opened my eyes on understanding the needs of men. And it's made me do surgery on my past relationships and I admit I was very selfish and negative and sadly the relationships ended. I'm glad my past experiences are now blessings to learn my own naked soul. I'm guilty of always wanting a man to put my happiness at first. Thanks Stephen, I can't believe I'm laughing at myself with every video but it's helping me alot and my mindset is reforming. This season is mine thank you Lord.
Stephan has great knowledge on everything he posts. I do understand that I may lacked 1 and a possible of these, and it wasn’t that I didn’t want to do those, it was that I was working on it. He may have caught me by surprise in getting into a relationship since for 20 some years he didn’t want that from me. I still seen us as friends building a deeper friendship. Once I got myself together and was doing these things, he was already looking elsewhere and this was only in a 7 month period. I’m happy to say, I get it, I take ownership for my shortcomings, and I wish him well with his fiancé that he only knew for about 7 months before proposing. I just want to love someone who will appreciate and understand me, and I be their peace!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏
@@danahopson1776 Hope you get over him soon...and eventually find the right 1 for you sis. Peace!
@@jayc5756 Thank you! I’m happy to say, I’m over him! Let someone else have that headache and uneasiness! I know who I am and what I bring to a relationship and it’s not drama because I don’t do that. I am a peaceful person, so of course I would bring peace!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thanks Stephan, and your posts plus prayer and working on myself, I am healed and ready to give and receive love again!
Your message gave me so much clarity and confirmation. I thank God for your content. God bless you!
Aligning with ourselves first allows us to receive what you’re saying in this video. We are both the prize.
THANKS FOR WATCHING
🤍🤍WRITE🤍🤍ME🤍🤍ON🤍🤍ωнατѕαρρ🤍🤍➕1𝟕𝟎𝟕𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟐𝟓𝟏𝟑👍
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that.
Love you and your advice!!!!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
My sis recommended me to you and I’m glad she did. I’m having trouble with being selfish so I understand this message completely so thank you!!! Everything you said hit me right on the nail!!! ✨I’m going to take everything your saying into consideration because your right… 🤗
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I bought your book by the way. I can’t wait to read it keep up the good work!!!
This was great! I learnt a lot. Thank you, Stephan
My pleasure ❤️
I love all of these points!!! 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👌🏽 I always support my man it’s always 50/50 no competition, no one is better than the other! We try to better ourselves everyday! Relationship can work as long as you listen to your partner and meet them half way!
I truly enjoyed this one, thank you
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
At my age I have done and been this woman but I seem to get all I need from a man except for communication on his emotions and feelings. He feels I should just know and don’t have to tell me at times. I need to know where I stand so I know how to be in the relationship
Communication is definitely key!
Same, I actually regret doing wifey things such as cooking. You can be an understanding woman, great at sex, great at cooking, and a good girl. But some guys rather be with the bad girl. Some guys will choose the hotter chick who doesn't do these things. 🤷♀️
@@justicevibes1252 because they're idiots,and some keeps both,the one that cooks and clean,and the hot girls on the side,so maybe one can try doing and being all these in one.🤔
@@sylviemorgan9770 that's what most men do- they keep both. History has shown us this, so I don't listen to all this nurturing talk. Of course the man will stay if you're willing to pour into him- how else can he use you up? But, he'll chase the women that have nothing to offer and nothing to lose. I think this guy is talking about himself.
Hi@Millicent
You crack me up!! I love the "serving" part!!! I love to cook for my man and he loves it! Great talks thank you!
When you meet the 'one' & he's up for it spend a whole weekend indoors getting to know each other. Ask a million questions & get 'deep'. Write it all down and stick it on the wall. That way you both have a template, the truth, and understand your better halfs boundaries so you respect each other more.....worked for us really well. No dramas......
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
@@aishamohammedaliyu8639 Was able to bring your husband back how??? Hope your not introducing other to witchcraft, let's put our trust in God. I believe in the power of prayer, Jesus is the answer for all situations. God bless ☺💕
a very good and helpful video, thank you!
My pleasure ❤️
I feel you on this information that you have given us Stephan. I believe from my experience in life is that we as women need to just be who God has created us to be and to really understand our abilities and trueness of what we are to the man that God has for us individually. We have to stop thinking that it’s all about us and to accept and realize that we were created and made for man not them made and created for us. When we surrender to what God wants and desire us to do accordingly to what he wills for us, only then will we be able to receive, embrace and accept the man that God has for us individually. 💯💪🏽❤️🙏🏽
This is so true love This❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👍👍👍👍
Having sex based on emotion is an every day happening, but, when chemistry is the source for an intimate connection, this will take the couple to a higher level of an intimate experience.
Most definitely!
Absolutely loved this video!! ❤
This by far to me is one of your BEST relationship advice videos! EVERY POINT was ON POINT!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
I agree with all your points Sir
Serving your man food is second nature in Caribbean culture. It’s a huge & pure act of love ❤️
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks what do u do if he dont want to be served?
I hear you on that but I'm not going to be giving him food all the time if a committed relationship has not been established. Too many of us Caribbean women have been feeding men belonging to other women and encouraging them to treat the gf as an option
@@eac-guy7272 Yea idk nothing about feeding no man that has another woman lol. That's not what I'm talking about lol. I mean just in Caribbean culture, its custom to serve our men.
Facts!! We love cooking for our guy.
Thank you Stephan!!♥️
It feels so good to listen to you. You have changed my perspective and my love life. It feels like at home as I listen to you 🙂
(I love your hair too)
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
Hi there @Stephan Speaks, I trust that you are doing well.
Let me first begin by saying that your videos are so insightful, enlightening and overall very informative. Another thing that I love about your channel is that you are openly expressing your thoughts, opinions and knowledge WITHOUT forcefully oppressing them upon your viewers, so thank you for that. Most often times, you find so-called "relationship advice" which are a whole bunch of Do's and Don'ts whereas in your videos you're simply speaking the truth and explaining the Why's and How's behind certain topics.
Now, for my question... Regarding the second point - allowing your man to have freedom - I still require some clarity. I completely understand where you're coming from and I agree with everything you're saying and I fully believe that I allow him to do what he enjoys. However, regarding his female friends, I have not felt comfortable with him hanging out with them alone. In the very beginning of our relationship, I discovered that he had slept with one of his "female best friends" from high-school. This was absolutely disheartening and put me into a place of disarray and mistrust. However, with relationships come a lot of forgiveness and we had many in-depth conversations as to why it happened, what he's going to do to avoid it happening again, our feelings towards the situation etc. and found a lot of understanding. I trust him and fully believe that we can prosper in our relationship. We will be together for two years in October.
My issue comes in with his female friends and allowing him to hang out with them alone... A few times I have come across what I viewed as inappropriate conversations/interactions (such as flirtatious texts, comments under their social media posts etc.) and lies (having crushes on some of them, sexual relations, not communicating to me that he was seeing them and me having to find out on my own [which made me feel like it was suspicious] etc.) and it made me feel very threatened. And I am aware that many of these friends have crushes on him and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. Therefore, I have asked that he doesn't hang out with any female friends alone and I (from the very beginning) also do not hang out with any of my male friends on my own. I have also obviously been speaking to my psychologist about this and she made me aware that as much as they are my own insecurities, my feelings are valid as it's not as though I am making these requests without any valid reason etc. and it's not as though I've demanded it. I had a long discussion with him as to why I feel the way I do about this issue and he told me that he understands fully and will support me with this. I also told him that if he's not happy with my request and he feels that I am suffocating/policing him, we can easily end the relationship.
I also noticed that majority of them seem to dislike me as they have had attitudes towards me etc. and barely take interest in me. That does not make me feel very comfortable at all.
However, he apologized for the way these things have made me feel and told me that he understands where I'm coming from and will do better - that it's a sacrifice he's willing to make.
When it comes to his male friends, however, I am very lenient and allow him to do whatever he pleases with them and I do, in fact, have very good relations with them as well which makes me feel included and safe. To me, this is a balance within our relationship and something by which I also abide so I don't feel as though I am being controlling/biased etc. If his female friends were to try to initiate a personal relationship with me as well, perhaps I would not feel so threatened. And of course I do not place all the responsibility on them to reach out to me, as I have attempted to create conversation, hang out with them, interact on social media etc. but it's never proven to be any good.
What are your opinions and do you have any guidance for me when it comes to this?
I needed this kind of straight talk. I recognize the last thing mentioned as something I really need to work on in my relationship 🙏
I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏
Steph I understand I agree. Prayerfully speak. You got this.
I love the way you think about relationships. The equality in love I feel is so important. I really appreciate your advice. Thank you so much for putting these videos up. I have been having much better luck in love since I started watching. Thank you. Keep up the good work man you're awesome. 😊
Glad I could help 🙏
I agree. We are all different individuals that come together with good / bad habits from our past. It is important to understand, know each other by working together not demanding or imposing thoughts/ ways of doing things.
You made me cry and laugh within minutes... You are ALWAYS on point.
Glad you enjoyed the video, thank you for your response ❤
I am totally in agreement with everything that was said.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I’m so grateful for this video. Is there a chance it could be taken down?!
THANKS FOR WATCHING
🤍🤍WRITE🤍🤍ME🤍🤍ON🤍🤍ωнατѕαρρ🤍🤍➕1𝟕𝟎𝟕𝟗𝟐𝟓𝟐𝟓𝟏𝟑👍
Excellent points. Thank you. 🙏
Stephan I respect you a great deal...you are open honest respectful and give awesome advice....this is an awesome video and I cracked up laughing when you said he may bust one if you just communicate you are willing to please him🤣🤣🤣
Yeah that one caught me off guard too 😂
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching. I appreciate your feedback 🙏
I was in the middle of Walmart, listening to this as I was shopping. He said that, and I busted out laughing, in the women’s clothing section. 😂 I did the “quickly check and make sure no one saw/heard me” glance, LOL! 😂
You are so correct about the hair, one time my man cut all his sideburns off and I was annoyed; I spoke to him about it. I love seeing him with it can he please don’t do it again. It’s all about communication and understanding. Either person wouldn’t know how you feel if you don’t say anything about it.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Hopefully, it will help others learn from it I appreciate that ❤️ 🙏🏼
I love and picked up every gem dropped! Many things are just natural to many of us and we do them because our hearts desire to serve and please our man in these ways. One of the greatest and absolute joys for a woman is a happy man and children. Firstly pleasing God! I’m all about it.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks very much so! Thank you for taking the time and walking in your gifting 💯🎁