I agree. It wasn't until I took a Korean culture class and learned about collectivism that I finally understood why in Kdramas they always said "our house" instead of "my house"
As someone whose been living in Korea for 8 years, and married to my Korean spouse for 2 years I cannot tell you how deeply I resonated with the phrase ‘Outside of Seoul there’s nowhere for young people to work, but in Seoul there’s nowhere for young people to live’ - this is the crux of a lot of struggles for us as a married couple. I met my partner in Busan and he was born there, but we were forced to move to Seoul for both of our careers. I hate Seoul, and I really miss Busan, but there aren’t many opportunities for us there. And at the same time we’ve been living in a tiny 30 square meter apartment in Seoul for the last 4 years that we can barely afford. There is no way we’re in a position to have children now, space wise and financially, even though both of us want them. Seoul is a black hole and I really think the government needs to focus on development in other areas of the country
You guys hang is there. So sad to hear Busan, as beautiful as it is, has no job choices for you guys. This is sad. However, it’s like that all over Korea. It appears the entire country is no place for the younger generations. Seoul is so overrated, but hope the best for you two.
Do Koreans pay local taxes, regional taxes, and national tax? I ask bc I live in a town where I am constantly amazed how our *local* county government is always putting new buildings, making deals (like free rent) for big companies and restaurants to come to our little town and create new jobs. Nowhere I lived before has ever been so proactive in creating growth. I feel very lucky, and wish Korean regional governments could (or would) do the same for their constituencies. We do pay a lot of tax, if we earn a lot, but there is also help for people not earning so much. I am sad to hear it’s so hard for young people Korean ppl. 😢 Bringing business to outlying regions is so important for the entire nation to thrive. I hope your politicians will step up and sort this out. Thanks for the heavy issues. They are very real and important. Great video!!
I’ve never been to Seoul and really want to visit Korea, but Busan always sounds like a beautiful albeit more remote feeling place compared to Seoul. I live in the U.S. and live in a 83.61 square meters apartment with my two rescue pets. Your description of your home is nearly 3 times smaller than mine! That blows my mind. I’m sorry that you’re not able to live where and how you want 💜 Are there remote opportunities there that could lend toward moving back to Busan someday? City living is not for the faint of heart. I live in a city myself and am very fortunate to have what I have, yet I can say with confidence city life is not for the faint of heart. I’m rooting for y’all!!!
Speaking as an American who has lived in Korea for the past decade, I'm also really curious to see how Korean society will change over the next few generations. While I know this statement may be controversial, I'm not exactly disappointed that there are going to be fewer people that will have to endure the Korean education system and company life. I've worked with both Korean students in Korea and foreign students in Korea, and while obviously circumstances vary greatly by individual, I was just really heartbroken by the high levels of shame, anxiety, stress and emotional suppression that Korean kids of all ages tended to show in regards to their educational experience. The sad part is that the kids who seemed to live this way were the ones whose parents put immense academic pressure on them - not because they are bad parents or evil parents, but because this is genuinely what parents feel like they need to do in order to give their kids a leg up...and they are right. That being said, I'd like to think that part of the birthrate decline is due to Korean people in their 20~50s realizing the toxicity of it all and refusing to put their hypothetical kids through it. A system in which a child's chances for achieving financial stability is often dependent on how hard their parents can push them past emotionally healthy limits is not something that prospective parents are comfortable perpetuating. So instead, they choose to live their adults lives childfree, with the emotional freedom that they never got as kids. Just a hopeful theory though, I'm certainly not an expert on this issue by any means
Great perception! Spot on! Although, you do not have to be an expert to know or see this. It’s the truth, no matter how much it hurt to voice it, it is very much true. The Korean culture are portraying this daily in their dramas, movies, and everyday walk of life. However, in 🇺🇸, their Korean culture is not as hard on the Korean children outside of the country Korea. Now, the parents still want their Korean children in 🇺🇸 educated and well situated in life to compete, but it is no way like the demands the Korean parents put their children through in Korea. A child in Korea cannot live a normal life unless it’s about daily competition, whether it is sports, education, what university you’re attending, your career, the family business qualifications, etc, the list is long, not to mention all that is thought about there is beauty, money, materialistic measures and family status. Nothing else matters. When you see Korean children after school, they are either going to a study hall or leaving one. Too much pressure to end up only working or living the same life when if they weren’t so pressured. People and society are speaking of changes in the Korean culture and their country, a good professional guess, it will NEVER happen. Let’s be realistic, look at their country, the location, things that are not easily accessible, it is too hard to change that. It’s almost impossible. Koreans probably smile when they read they are changing from the norms they know as survival, they will continue to push their children to no end. Actually, there is nothing else to do, except what they are doing and known all their lives. So, now their children are growing up not getting married or having children, but most have a nice place to live or still in their parents home, with a nice savings, and that’s all they have to show from their pressured upbringings 😢, so notoriously sad. Now the world can see the huge alcoholism rate, bullying rate, divorce rate and suicidal rate in Korea. 😢😢😞
My Korean friend, a woman, says she do not plan to marry or have kids bc it is “death to career”. She told me many companies like to hire single women who don’t plan on marrying. She also said those that are married are subjected to intrusive personal questions such as “do you plan on having children?” As in …we don’t want to waste time on someone who will “inconvenience “ them with maternal leave. She said as a woman in patriarchal Korea, it is better to remain single and independent. Does anyone else share the same feelings as my friend?
It is illegal to ask such questions of a potential employee or current employee. That is very sad that women are being subjected to such invasive questioning.
I’m about to watch the video but I just watched a TikTok from a Korean guy who said it wasn’t surprising what’s happening because of the effects of how expensive everything is but he also spoke about how Korean women are treated. The current 4B movement in Korea makes sense to him because it’s a reaction to how women aren’t treated like human beings.
My neighbor who's now married to an afghan man did tell me about how her ex-husband, who was a South Korean, treated her in an awful manner and I quote "Like a maid" for 2 years of Covid and the moment the quarantine was lifted she divorced him and met her current husband and I didn't really give much thought to it but then I went onto this rabbit hole of how Korean women are treated and how little rights they are given in South Korea alongside the awful treatment in society by KM after videos about them got recommended to me and WOW I'm shocked..😮
Also the sudden end to the wife's career growth, since Korean managers expect the woman to drop out of her job duties to care for the husband and upcoming kids.
There are some interesting points here of why, from a male perspective marriage is becoming less desirable in Korea (the pressure to buy a house and the emphasis on what you own and what your status is). I’ve been living in Korea for two years and I’ve talked to several Korean female friends about this in their 20s 30s 40s and 50s. From a female perspective, they say gender imbalance as one of the reasons that marriages is less desirable. For example, when a Korean woman marries there’s an expectation that they should go to their partners parents home during holidays and perform ancestral rites for his side of the family, but there is no expectation on the man to do those things for her family. There’s also pressure for the female side to cook massive banquets during these special events. I have a Korean friend in her 20s whose boyfriend broke up with her because she said that she wasn’t down with this. She ended up marrying a Belgium guy. Another lady I know who’s in 40s and unmarried tells me about friends who have similar problems. This lady also often tells me stories about violence committed towards females by males in the news… so I think these kinds of societal problems like violence to women, and no respect for women’s feelings are what the women are feeling.
I'm a complete outsider, but from what I've seen from interviews and read over the years, I agree. When you also factor in the social pressure on women to quit their jobs, either as soon as they get married or when they start a family, and how companies openly screen female job candidates by age and sometimes even ask about dating status in interviews to make sure they won't be leaving to get married too soon, it's no wonder women choose not to.
bs.... misandry is rampant in S.korea .... liberalism and feminism make marriage unbearable .... i dont feel surprised in the next century S.Korea lost their identity and replaced with brown people from other continent
Although it doesn represent the average, i saw a street interview in SK among men and women whether they wanted kids. Most men wanted it, most of the women didnt. These stark contrast really shows how much a woman needs to consider to sacrifice to attain this goal especially in their society. Men can sometimes say, we will help and all, but its really difficult to make the mental adjustments especially if youre a daughter who has been observing and listening to our mothers, aunts and grandmas
Women are severely abused in South Korea. They are so abused and disrespected, they have started a pro-woman movement called The “4B” movement. They ARE NOT MARRYING OR HAVING KIDS ANYMORE, men have treated them so badly. Abuse is commonplace. The 4B movement has taken off, and it has grown so big, that now men can’t get married because the young women don’t want them anymore - who want to get married only to be beaten, and told by patriarchal society that as women, they are worthless? WOMEN ARE SICK OF THIS TREATMENT! This is global too, as women everywhere are going through the same thing. In america, it has been estimated that in 7 years, 45% of ALL WOMEN IN AMERICA will be single or never married, and about 80% of them will be childless. What woman wants to literally risk their life gicing birth to some monster’s kid, and these monsters abandon their own kids anyway. WOMEN ARE DONE WITH MEN! NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY ETHICS OR MORALITY!.
As a person that lives in France and is married to a French person (that I actually met and married in Korea, lol), the 60% of children born out of wedlock in France is quite a bit misleading. In France there is a form of common-law marriage called "pacte civil de solidarité" or PACS for short. This is something a couple actually signs with a government office, so it's registered, and in France this PACS agreement gives a couple a LOT of the same benefits as being married (not all of course) while not having to actually be married, it's an extremely popular option for a lot of French people and/or French residents that have no desire to immigrate from France. There are very very few countries that recognize a PACS agreement though so for the most part outside of France it is considered that they are not married, like in the statistics used here. Personally, as from what I have seen just living here in France and getting to know people here, I'd say 70-80% of those children considered "born out of wedlock" outside of France were born to PACS couples (I'm mostly talking cis-het couples here, because surrogacy is against the law in France so male gay couples have to have a surrogate outside of France, and since PACS has no legal status over children gay and lesbian couples that want their partner to have legal status over their naturally born children have to be married). Culturally, if you ask French people that have a PACS if they are husband and wife, I'd say 80% will say yes, they wear wedding rings and everything, so in that context the children born in those unions culturally are not "born out of wedlock". Honestly, out of all the couples I know that have kids here in France, only 2 are actually married, and I know quite a few. I know for statistics this doesn't help, and it can look a bit confusing as an outsider looking in, but there's a connotation that children born out of wedlock are to people that are not already in a committed relationship with each other, and for the majority of those children here in France that's not true, their parents are in a legally recognized registered relationship
Thanks for sharing this! It's very interesting and something I definitely didn't know. Do you happen to know why they chose this instead of getting married? I'm only asking cause I don't know anything about French culture. It seems that they are already acting like a married couple in every regard including considering themselves married. Is it just cheaper this way or is there another reason that they find the pacte civil de solidarité to be a better option than officially getting married? I'm in the USA and a few states do have common-law marriage (I think only 15 states), but it's basically just a protection for those who have been living together for around 7 years or more if their partner passes away.
@@Lizpowell111 There's many layers to this, it can't be attributed to a simple reason. One reason would be wanting to avoid wedding ceremonies, and the fact that getting married without holding a ceremony is not quite yet socially acceptable. All in all, PACS is less formalities than marriage, and less burdensome (it's easier to break than having a divorce). Also, some couples get PACS'd for admin reasons and don't see it as a life-long commitment contract - and after living that way for 5, 10, 15 years...sometimes having bought a house and getting children along the way... they don't see the point in getting married.
C'est vraiment ça! Même les "religieux" vivent à la colle ou pacsés. 4 kids, one maried, 2 Pacsed, the oldest daugther prefer taking care alone Her kids.
@Lizpowell111 Because legally, if you want to break up with your partner and you're married, you have to go through divorce pay a lawer and split everything. PACS on the other hand doesn't need to go through divorce, if one person wants to break the contract no need to get a lawer. And the belongings are not couple properties but one person properties so no need to go through the splitting belongings things. Expect if you decided while being PACSed to have things as a couple. When you're married it's automatic everything is ours (as couple). Also with a PACS you can't adopt, and if you're partner dies you can't have their belongings and you're not considered as a widow. Oh and mariage is held in city hall, PACS is held in a office with a solicitor
I'm French and I can confirm this. Pacs is easier, faster, a lot cheaper and seen just as beneficial and projective. It' sometimes convenient for administrative reasons, especially for civil servants . Very importantly , should the couple want to break up, even only one of them, it won't cost them an arm and a leg and will be a lot less hassle. The French love to feel they have that freedom. Then they may marry later on into the relationship, as my own cousin did 9 years after he pacsed. Also it is( was) popular with divorced catholic couples as socially acceptable, since they are not supposed to remarry. The statue of mariage has changed. My sister, and another cousin, have respectively 3 and 4 kids. They organised a grand mariage each time to please their children and because of course they felt they were making a statement that the relationship was there to stay. Not because they needed to be married or had any pressure to do so.
I grew up in a family with strong women, who worked and did not rely just on their partner's income. The women also expected the men to help with the kids and home and I entered my marriage expecting shared duties and that was 30 years ago now 😊
I’ve been living in Korea for a few years and what I’ve noticed as the most important factors : 1. Housing is so expensive, people need appropriate housing for a family which isn’t available 2. Flex culture, I work in a kindergarten and the 3 year olds are already dressed in Burberry, Dior etc I’ve noticed a lot online and in person that people feel pressure to provide these material things for kids so that they aren’t bullied at school or look “poor”. Even taking your kids on holiday during the school year is important because 100% attendance is seen as “perfect poverty” here. 3. Gender issues - A lot of people don’t want to marry and face familial issues and fulfil stereotypical roles. Also after having children it’s harder for women to get hiired or continue work. 4. Again the fixed norms like Hyunwoo mentioned, one fixed norm I’ve noticed is buying a designer bag (usually Chanel) as the engagement gift.. I’ve had male friends tell me that that’s a lot of pressure esp when they are not earning that much esp since this is just the beginning of iceberg of the social norm they have to fulfill. These are just a few things I’ve noticed
Flex culture is so dangerous yikes. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy splurging on something luxury for myself, but I don’t put myself in debt to do it. I stay in my financial lane. Collective consciousness of how you are perceived by others can be harmful when it’s in this context. I do, however, like the idea of someone being conscious in principle alone that their choices and actions affect more than just the individual. I just don’t like it in the context of consumerism lol 😂 People shouldn’t feel pressured to buy a label or brand solely for image sake, but that is the current social condition. Buy it because you enjoy it, and you have the means. I think it goes a step further than shopping addiction. It’s literally a social standard and expectation, and not up to one’s true personal preference. That’s the part that’s scary.
This phenomenon of low marriage rates is now unfolding in most developed countries and while inflation and house prices are a major factor i feel like this is a more male centered perspective on why marriage rates are getting low. Ask any woman, and they will tell how marriage today is same as saying goodbye to successful career, that the responsibility of household chores still falls majorly on them after marriage, that even if housing became affordable many would still choose to remain unmarried.
I absolutely agree: it's not just the development of the economy and the cost of living. Even in developed countries, everything related to family and household work is mainly done by women; As a rule, men only do their professional activities (not always, but in most cases). I don't even want to start talking about the financial dependence that women become. It's a mystery to me how anyone can overlook this important aspect.
While I agree with you, I think the topics he touched on specifically sheds light on why it's so much worse in S. Korea than in many other countries. We're all seeing the decline in having kids or getting married across the globe as a general matter. However when it the percentage gets to low single digits, that's a sign that something more is going on. I have zero interest in having kids but the scenario he painted would have cemented that decision more. Many women haven't had kids but they're still fence sitting and it could go either way. The scenarios he outlined would take the usual reasons and make it in such a way that no one in their right mind would bother if they weren't financially secure.
I think once there are societal changes in South Korea among the classes, people will desire building families. The cost of living is unrealistically high for most. There needs to be a narrowing between the “haves” and the “have-nots”. Giving people opportunities equitable to the work they put in to meeting their financial goals.
Thinking about the rapid pace of change that Koreans have lived through I can only imagine how difficult it is for norms and expectations to shift. House prices and other economic pressures have a major influence on people's family decisions here in the UK. The location of jobs and growth are really not in the same areas as houses that people can afford. The growing gap between the rich and poor is really connected to these questions for us. x
I think something important you missed is hagwon costs. An middle class family pays PER month for 1 kid averagely somewhere between $500~1000 or even more. From elementary to high school. And parents are still expected to pay for college and more hagwons for the english test, certificates, etc to help their kid MAYBE beat the odds to a successful life. All kids go to hagwons, no parent will let their kid fall behind in class, especially since their success depends on the national college entrance exam. For many people, thats retirement money.
I believe the long working hours employees are expected to work, make it difficult for women to have successful careers and children. If you have invested in a top education and want to attain the highest level in your field, it requires employees spend long days at work, and therefore may not have time for children. Finding men that are willing to take over as main caregivers and put their careers on hold or even just take over half the child rearing responsibilities, is still not common in Korea. Women are the ones who choose to have babies, and if they feel it will only disadvantage them, then they will choose to have few or none. Its’s only logical.
Women did not the choice to be Single and with child.I am tired of this crap. Years later the male falls in love with the child? Right.. than marries the female due to the child. Boo hoo. The male is absolutely able to please the birth child?
@@an.hs.nWell, in fact, additional hours were proposed which was thankfully scrapped due to major backlash from the people. No proposal yet to lessen the working hours though.
These are issues that are happening worldwide not just in Korea. Times are getting harder just to survive but having kids really complicated things. Some do marry but don’t have kids.
All the factors you mentioned are pretty much the same for the low marriage rate and the low births rate in my country, Greece. Especially after the financial crisis my country has been through, the problem got worse and unfortunately the governments are unable to motivate young people.
After watching many documentaries related to this topic, my opinion as an outsider, is that the low incidence of births within the unmarried adult population is not an indicator of less pregnancies, but likely of more abortions. Even if they want to have a child eventually, many unmarried women and their partners would rather abort secretly than be judged , treated badly and miss academic and career opportunities for decades due to an unplanned pregnancy, coupled with the heavy stigma of getting pregnant outside of marriage (which not only impacts the couple but also their families). Aside from just increasing the birth rate among married couples, if the Korean government wants to increase the birth rate overall, it needs to develop a safety net of easily accessible, no-judgement social services for unmarried parents, and start working on convincing their society (especially older generations) that these parents and their children have inherent value and should not be socially mistreated or ignored because of their circumstances.
I think the statement about there being no jobs outside of Seoul and no housing inside translates very directly to rural vs. urban life in the US - and it’s a big driver of our terrible political polarization here.
Do you think though because of the aftermath of Covid lockdown that there are more opportunities now for telework? things which I could do from anywhere. I am close to retirement in the US so I have been headed in this direction for quite a while, where I will be able to work from anywhere so that I don’t have to go into an office in the city five days a week.
@@McPixelWizard I assume there are more telework opportunities now, but I'm not sure. My husband and I left Silicon Valley 13 years ago, because on paper it looked like we were really successful, but our two full time jobs didn't make it sustainable to have a ratty 2- bedroom apartment and day care for our kids. We were burning savings every month to keep both of us going to work (in the middle of the 2008 financial crisis) and we certainly didn't see a future where we'd ever own a home. So, we moved to the rural area where we grew up and I took my job with me. I've been working remotely ever since. We're financially well off now and we're close to our families. But there are still disadvantages to rural life -- trades not everyone would want to make. In fact, I know several people with good government jobs in my rural town who are opting to work remotely, so that they can live in the city. And a few individuals doing what my husband and I did doesn't begin to smooth out the growing geographic & political polarization. But as a retiree, I imagine you'll be able to find a remote job that lets you pick a location that suits you. Particularly part-time work. I do see more of that over time.
In my country Ghana, a man is supposed to have a house whether its his own or rented before getting married. The woman can also support the man if she wants too. Most woman don't like to stay in their mother in-law house due to fear of interference in their marriage with their son. So its seems we have a lot in common❤
@12:16 ~ Hi Hyunwoo, I am a 30 year old woman living in America. I am back at school for a dual major of psychology and international global studies with the hope of becoming a therapist that helps marginalized populations. My husband and I have been in the process of starting a family for several years. ... I agree so much with your opinion on the television topic. When I'd first heard about them, it gave me daily court show / marury and wilkos American television vibes, which are famous for being rooted in entertainment and shock. It's the same with Dr.Phil. I wish that we as a general world population could move away from needing the shock-value. They promote fear. Whenever I've watched the daily shows here, I leave feeling emotionally drained and overwhelmed. I imagine that many experience the same feelings after watching the shows you'd mentioned in Korea. ... I believe we need to move away from shock-value and learn to appreciate the imperfections that surround us. There is no such thing as a perfect student, husband, wife, mother, father... person. We all make mistakes, we're all human. It's life. Like you said, up and down. It's about learning to ask for help, but also having the one helping learn to appreciate the courage it takes to ask and be humble in their response. There are situations that require less kindness, but I believe the fear of judgement is one of our world's biggest obstacles.
I think the one contributing problem you left out is work hours. Sure, it is connected with housing cost and the jeonse system (the costs of ownership with none of the benefits). But previous generations could afford for one parent to stay home. Now, both parents must work. But if both parents are working from 9am to 9pm, who will take care of the kids? Especially when the parents probably live near Seoul but the grandparents live in the provinces. In the US, at least where I live near DC, it is typical for one parent to work a later shift (say, 9am to 5:30) so they can drop off the kids at school, while the other works an early shift (6:30 to 3) to pick them up. It is like all the expenses in Korea have entered the modern age, but not work culture. Sadly, the result is a sort of cultural suicide from younger generations who cannot make ends meet while also having a family.
I find it interesting that you really don’t address how much women are second class citizens. Do you think many may prefer a single lifestyle due to that. The latest government is even more misogynistic and turned back even the tiny progress
Yes, that should be at the forefront of the conversation. So many women specifically decide against kids so it makes sense to look at it from a feminist lense as well.
How are Korean women "second class citizens" when they had a female president a couple years ago?? LOL. If you really want to see female oppression go back to the 1900s. SMH we are living in an era where woman have just as many rights if not more than men.
True. I've been single for the same reason. The married woman's job in many societies is to be a caregiver, and homemaker. I see it as another job/role you can choose, if that's what you want. There's nothing wrong in it, and there's nothing wrong in not choosing it , either. My personal opinion is that both singles & married people will continue to exist, just the ratio might be varying according to the changes in society, it's not an all-or-nothing situation. There's no reason to fear that marriage will go extinct or that the species will die out, if singles increase a bit. I respect both choices because there's always abundant reasons for it, within that person's life and perspective. There's no need to judge, there's no need to force others to choose differently. People make the best choice they can, given their situation.
An added issue is the 18-24 month mandatory military service for men ages 18-28. Do you enlist right after high school? After university? Part way through univetsity? Will the job market be the same after either? If you want to get married-- before service, or after? If married, children before service or after? If a man is unavailable for 18 months, and 3-4 yrs (min.) univ....what will the young women be doing by then? Working. Employment competition would be serious with the young men coming and going. Some getting promotions while others wouldn't because of enlistment. I realize there might have been a time constraint with this video, but this was a valuable part of the discussion that was missing.
Thanks for mentioning this😭 I had to leave my hard earned job that I really enjoyed because of enlistment, now I'm stuck here earning way less than minimum wage for 21 months. I was pretty much the only guy in the early 20's in the subways going to work every morning but I saw so many young girls around the same age already working at this age without worrying for military duty which I really envied. Although it's nothing compared to the pain of childbearing they have to go through, they always make it sound like guys *want* kids and are forcing wives to make babies when we absolutely don't. Money is always the number one concern in every Korean men's mind, even more so than the women due to the patriarchal expectations on men to be the provider, so it's why during the pre-marriage relationship phase the boyfriend always becomes very timid when the girlfriend starts asking "when are we gonna get married?". The 2 years of delay in the military don't help at all too.
Young Korean men should go after university to be an officer and if they know English go to the CAF because they will get their rank they made in Korea and do a full military career. After that, go back home with the CAF Pension. Since Korea is dirt cheap, no problems with getting married and having kids since Korean Divorce Laws are "At Fault"
A topic suggestion: "The relation between Interracial marriages and Korea's social norms". Or.. "Interracial marriages in Korea" Thank you in advance 🙏✨
You have a really good head and voice about the situation you're speaking on here. It was really insightful - and I'm so excited to see South Koreas changes occur in the near future.
I found your video really nice and informative. You have a pragmatic but also historically based illustration of how things work in Korea. Well done. You explained it very well.
I think the main reason is because tooo much stress, serious lack of opportunities, can't make a decent living while everything is way too expensive, and people are unrealistically over-demanding or don't do anything about cultural problems. I would always hear if you have money south Korea is a fun place to be but not a place to live. I feel blessed my family immigrated from Korea a long time ago.
I'm a foreigner married to a Korean and we live in Korea. We really struggled to get a house in Korea because the banks refuse to offer loans to foreigners in Korea. The only loan we could get together was the newly wedded loan, but with both of us working (and barely making above minimum wage) we were above the income bracket to receive the loan. Finally my husband was able to get a loan in just his name. But the struggle was really difficult and at times it really felt hopeless. The loan systems are very strict.
S. Korea is still a baby country and still has old traditions from the past. When Korea breaks away from that thought process and what the elders want for their children, it can evolve to where the younger generation accepts a partner much older than them, someone who was married or has children, not be afraid so much but to be themselves and not worrying about what others think of them especially the 아줌마 and 아저씨 generation. Koreans get shunned if they do not follow the norms and if they break away from traditions. Seeing all white and black cars is an example how they are trapped in a society that is shunned. Buy a red or blue car is seen by others that you're too taboo and you don't fit into the custom. Defending yourself from the older generations and a boss that treats you like garbage. One day Korea will be open minded and accept change.
i have no idea how this would happen but i feel like the big companies in Seoul should somehow move departments of their companies to cities outside Seoul. there are other cities outside of Seoul that would benefit from this and it could over time potentially ease the burden of an entire country thinking they have to live and work in Seoul to be successful
In regards to high housing prices, there's a huge supply and demand problem, especially in Seoul. Over 40% - 50% of the entire Korean population resides in Seoul, which is a huge reason why housing is so expensive. The reason for this is because there isn't much job opportunities outside of Seoul for the general population. If they want to lower housing costs, they need to decentralize and spread out the population throughout the country and make more job opportunities available for younger people elsewhere. I also have a theory that big, developed cities naturally cause people to have fewer children. It creates a false illusion in the primal part of our brains that there are too many people. We were not designed to live in highly dense spaces packed like rats. For example, despite the massive wealth gap between N. and S. Korea, N. Korea's population is more spread out in comparison and they have a more stable, sustainable birth rate than S. Korea. This is also true for a lot of other Western, developed nations, they all have a lower birthrate in comparison to other poorer, less developed countries where the population is more spread out. Cities are where populations and civilizations go to die.
Actually if you do a little digging you will, find that North Korea has a low birth rate. Reports about their leader promising to pay, couple's to have more children. Unfortunately they have a much bigger problem then low birth rate, the people in North Korea have a major food shortage.
@@stephanievoy2426 I think you misinterpreted what I said. I never said N. Korea has a high birth rate, rather that they have a higher birth rate in comparison to S. Korea. Huge difference between the two. Peter Zeihan, who specializes in demographics and macroeconomics, covers this in detail with the numbers to back up his analysis. As for their food shortage problem, that's been going on for decades. Yet, they still have a higher birth rate than S. Korea.
I am not an expert either, but I think there is one more crucial thing that you forget about. The non-existance of work-life balance... Now the whole world is facing with unbelievably high apartment prices, low salary etc. But in Korea it is just one thing. They don't have time at all to date, or to even meet new people, or to have a healthy 24th century relationship which is not influenced by society or their parents expectations. They simply just don't have time for this. They don't want to have children, because they would only see them when they born. For many years now Korean citizens have been literally raised each other and by social media, because their parents don't have time and energy at all to raise them properly and spend quality time with them between a 12 hour shift and a mandatory company dinner multiple times a week. And it seriously shows now in Korea. It represents their shallow relationship with each other and their true relationship with materialism. And all this frustration comes from their childhood, that's the reason why many of them are so cold and distant or worse... They keep trying to fill this emptiness in themselves. And on the other side of the story they might not want to give this life to their kids either, or they don't want to mirror their childhood on their children.. They might want to spend quality time with them but they know that it is mostly impossible with Korea's working culture, so they choose a childless lifestyle instead...
안녕하세요 현우선생님! 이 문제에 이야기 해봐셔서 감사합니다. 제가 TTMIK와 함께 4년 반 공부하고 있거둔요. 덕분에 한국말을 잘 늘을 수 있었고 지금 한국인이랑 약혼까지도 했습니다. 저 나중에 한국으로 이민한 생각이 있으니까 한국의 이런 사회문제 때문에 고민이 이거저거 많습니다. 사실 영국에서도 대부분 전혀 집을 못 사는 상태 되었어서 이해하는데 현우선생님 말하는것처럼 저랑 한국사람이랑 차이는 제가 결혼하자마자 집 준비할 부담을 느껴번 적이 없습니다. 현우선생님이 이 주제에 이야기 하셔서 남들 한국사람도 이 부담을 안 느껴도 괜찮다고 차츰 깨닿길 바라는 휘망이 조금 생겼습니다. 서울밖에 일할곳이 없고 서울안에 살곳이 없다... 그말은 듣고 소름돋았네요. 우리 모두 다 해결 찾을 수 있길 바랍니다. 노력해서 적어봤는데 말이 되었으면 좋겠다고 생각해요.
I have Korean male friend who said he will not get married for these reasons. Dating as a foreigner is an entirely different story and especially as a black woman, but the men I’ve dated and friends I’ve met seem to want to get married but say they “haven’t found a good match” but they are in their mid to late 30s. I do wonder why it’s hard to meet people when everyone is looking to make connection.
Looove this informational format of current and social events with language learning. I use to live in Seoul but feel somewhat disconnected from what’s happening ever since covid, bc you know..life. Please keep this format going! Would love to hear more topics on society and culture ❤The good, the bad, and the ugly.
This was an interesting culture topic and I’m glad you mentioned it. The housing issue is the same in America. Even with me being in Ohio. You have to stay out in a kinda rural area to get bang for your buck with houses. But when you do, you can get a pretty large house in comparison to a popular city/township, similar with living/working in Seoul. I want to go to school there in Seoul for a few months/ more and I’m looking at places and I’m like- wtf is going on? Same situation here in Ohio so…😕I get it. Societal pressures from the man to provide; that’s(imo) an old concept that a lot of cultures still uphold so I understand that. But women societal pressures are there too. I think that women societal pressures wasn’t mentioned as much (as others have said) is because he’s giving his side of it while being informative. I’m all for being 50/50 or if your partner makes more, it being split based off of both incomes. That sounds like a lot for the husband’s families to have to take care of, but also the pressure of society on woman are there too. I wonder will that change in Korea? I know birth rates are declining cause it’s like, hey! Babies cost money! There are a lot of parallels to that in America right now. Idk I’m just noticing. I want to see something change. Maybe I’ll be able see the changes from both sides. And the work/life balance to even have a family in Korea. Can you touch on that topic…..? I’ve heard the work hours there are wild. That could be a factor too. Ok I wrote a book thx for the video!
I loved this video and learning about the culture of Korea and current societal situations. Helps me to understand context and communicate better knowing where you're coming from. Thank you 😊
Very interesting. I look forward to more insights. You have the look of youth, the calm maturity that comes with parenthood, and the wisdom of elders (not to mention the ability to throw in a little vocab for language learners here😂) Thank you!
That may be a hard topic, but I would really like to know more about North and South Korea history, and relations between countries at the moment. How modern Koreans of the north and south relate to each other, what the older generation thinks, etc. Without unnecessary flashy headlines, just a detailed and interesting analysis of the real situation. Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤
Professor Andrei Lankov of Kookmin University has a series of lectures on the history of South and North Korea, and how North Korea lives now. But I don’t know if there are lectures of this kind in English.
There is already content out there regarding those topics- There are currently no relations between the countries because during the war neither side could fully takeover Korea leaving a wall of hostility between the North and South. The older generation wish the division between the countries never happened because they are not able to communicate or see relatives. I sometimes wonder how much more powerful Korea would be if there was no division. SK is one of the most powerful countries in the world today with only half of the country. Before the division the North used to be more powerful than the South.
What a lot of people seem to forget is, technically the war between SK and NK has never ended. The combat ended on 27 July 1953 when the Korean Armistice Agreement was signed. The Agreement created the Korean Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) as the new border to separate North and South Korea, paused combat on the Korean peninsula, and allowed the exchange of prisoners.
I really enjoyed your video. In countries/cities that have a high “happy” quotient - that is where people say they are happy with where they live etc like Denmark and Vienna in Austria, Antwerp in Belgium there is a lot of social housing available whereby the government purposely builds excellent housing stock for people to rent and each person’s rent in these properties is based on their income ie what they can afford. Maybe the Korean government could look at some of these schemes? Nevertheless, Korea’s advancement from the Second World War has been nothing less than remarkable.
Hello Danes here, it's not that cheap to live in Denmark, and it's not easy to get a house or an apartment either, I've been signed up for an apartment for about 3-4 years now and still haven't got an apartment
I am hooked on Korean series/movies/music, they portray a wholesome portrait of a society. However how can the population of Korea grow if so many obstacles are put on their way in terms of housing, low job opportunities, high cost of living? Korea has to encourage its population to grow, to keep their culture alive, that is so important for its very survival.
I really enjoyed this video. Hope you do more videos regarding social issues. Especially, include historic cultural norms that have had an influence on Korean culture in the 21st. Century. Very interesting topic, thank you.
Hello and thank you for this wonderful topic. I am glad that I found your Podcast so that I can learn Korean. I watch a lot (and I mean a lot) of K-dramas. I will contact you regarding this. Anyway, I want to share that I have been married over 31 years. Marriage is wonderful mostly when two people come together and do not expect to continue living a single's life. No, no and no. Marriage is not for the selfish. Our lives are not over because of marriage, it is just that you will not have 100% of your money or time for ONLY yourself. It is a share and give-and-take lifestyle. I remember that my parents and their siblings shared an apartment in New York City and saved enough money to buy their houses/apartments. Many people do this after college for many reasons: 1. They are not ready to have children; 2. They need to pay off loans; and, 3. Want to have fun before settling down completely.
I'm curious. Here in the US there has been a huge shift for office workers from going to the office to now working remotely, post-pandemic. Meaning you can live anywhere and work online, even work in New York or Washington DC and live somewhere more affordable. South Korea has (I'm told) outstanding internet. So can people live outside of Seoul and work remotely? There's also the issue of how to balance parenthood and getting your job done --- which affects working women (and working men, for those in an equal partnership) every single day of the work week, for 20+ years. Been there, done that.
This was very interesting. Thank you. I'd love to see a video to go into some depth explaining the big high school test in Korea, I think it's called the 수능? I really want to know more about it.
The only thing I can speak on as an American is basic marriage. Back in the day 50's 60's Men were the main bread winners. Women were the home makers. Usually before marriage was considered Men would afford a place for his wife and future family to live. Some would get assistance from parents especially if it was their first home. Very few would live with their parents but if so a short period of time.(Most Americans are not comfortable with that set up) Living with in laws would be too restrained. Today it can work in a lot of ways. Men or Women can be the bread winners but for the most part it's a individual couple thing. Men and Women get together and decide what each player can or cannot afford. Both sign papers whether their buying or renting. Other thing are decided on individuals income (Sometimes combined income). Living with parents is not desired at all now. Most young Americans want to move from their parents ASAP whether their getting married or not, LOL. One thing that has changed, The young aren't getting married early or as much as they use to. In some cases it's the cost of raising a family. Some just don't want to commit and settle down. Than there are those who say they just can't find their person. The one I hear most is no rush or desire to commit.
Very interesting. I watched a video recently about South Korean men looking for wives internationally and that it’s a thriving business. So some men have found other options.
also a lot of Korean women want to be free and independent :) South Korea is too conservative. Same for Poland, Russia, Japan... and their birth rate keeps dropping too
I agree that Polish society is a little bit conservative, but now everything is changing. Nowadays, is very hard to buy an apartment or house, because prices are very, very high. And, I think, this is one of the most important reason why people haven't children in Poland.
I would argue that when cultures like Japan and Korea started shifting away from conservativism that is when the decline in marriage and birth rate began. Women wanting independence is a huge reason why marriage and birth rates have declined. Women hold all the chips when it comes to fixing these two issues. I believe many old ideals about how marriage and raising a family should work need to change and be less toxic. With that being said Men need to accept that the roles in modern society are changing and let there pride go. Women need to accept that they can't have their cake and eat it too. If you want to put career first and you want your husband to take a step back and be the primary caretaker you should also be the one providing the house and not judge your man based on his bank account, job, or what car he drives.
@@TBreddYou’re completely forgetting about birth control, its higher rate of effectiveness and accessibility through the decades. When couples have full control of family planning, it seems most want just one or two children. Back when birth control was less effective, couples just had it in their mind that having kids meant a small pack of ‘em, and the more sex you were having, the more likely it’d be that you’d have a big family. Cost of living is also changed a lot in recent history. Even if there was an overnight revolution and all women wanted to be stay-at-home moms, it’s way less couples these days who can actually afford to do that. So much has changed…
Westernization, modernization, liberalization = all the same thing is the case of this crisis. And you're solution is keep changing. Brilliant.... You fail to recognize all developed countries not just Poland, Japan and Korea have less than 2.1 birth rate which is minimum replacement level. Did it ever occur to you female empowerment, feminism is what makes women not want to be mothers? I can think of cases where that's not the case, but in general, don't you think encouraging girls to be independent career boss babe and demonizing traditonal role of women might effect the number of women that become mothers? Women in those countries are free to get a career and sleep with who ever they want. Better careers and more sex partners will probably not lead to more marriages and children.
I’m french - we do not get married until after 2-3 kids..also people got married to the state. Because in the 90s a single mother would receive more money if she was not married and had a child that had a last name. PACS is not a thing compared to what people mentioned above - throughout my life I have rarely met anyone with had it. It’s mainly to keep their financial situation independency. Religion in France is much less present too - being a traditionally catholic country France used to go to the church more often and get married too. Now people do not bother either as it is not a socially as important as it used to be. My parents were not married when they had me. And at school in the 2000 I would say it was 70% unmarried not even together anymore children in the classroom As well. As for Korea - we know how society treat unmarried women with kids. Religion is quite strong I feel too. My male Korean friend got married last year in Korea at 29 years old his wife 27. I felt like a shock because only 3 of our university peers (studied in the U.K.) are married out of 100 of us.
One way to deal with the issue of needing to work in Seoul while having affordable housing is to adopt a commuting culture. Here in the USA tons of people work in big cities and live in the suburbs. That would also help with the issue of so many towns becoming deserted like ghost towns. Also the pressure for people to own high-end luxury good when they make an average salary is not healthy either. Making 35-40 thousand a year and wearing Gucci doesn't make sense to me. Last but definitely not least, the work culture. Who wants to even try and date when they are so bogged down with too much work and unfair working hours. Hopefully thing will change. I wanted a documentary about people actually dropping dead in South Korea from being overworked. One of the men was still living at home and in his twenties. That's so sad.
I know that's why I think if they adopt a commuting culture it would help. There is lots of affordable housing outside of Seoul and Incheon.@@thiya4627
Nice and interesting discussion on this topic👍🏻 This helps us to understand why things are the way they are in Korea... It also helps us to understand Korean culture in little more detail... Especially the concept of 집 장만, 혼수 and 시집 was totally new to me!
I've lived in the US all of my life. I'm now in my 50's and do not see that a man needs to be the primary financial provider. Today, it takes 2 people to be able to provide financially, and sometimes more depending on their job or education. Also everything is wayyyyy too expensive. Houses, food, cars, etc. If you can afford even an apartment, it's usually in a high crime location and who wants to raise a child in that kind of area. One positive in Korea is the lack of guns. Gun violence is another huge issue in the USA. It seems that all countries have their issues.
I wonder, with Korea increasing its visas for foreign workers (with possible extensions), if this may lead to Korean/foreigner relationships and biracial babies and how this would be viewed in Korean culture.
It really doesn’t matter basically. People need to realize we came from god at the end of the day and he said in genesis “ fill the earth and subdue it”. Plus, god is not partial about race or culture. He wants everyone to be a unity and love one another.
@BLULIU I'm not talking about a god or your god.. I'm talking about the Korean culture. Which basically does matter, as it's this exact culture that is facing a huge change. Whether their population continues to decline or not. As all cultures are different in what they can accept or how long they adapt to a change.
@@swishbish4667 I am glad this is happening because people is realizing that we are not supposed to be divided because of a culture. Culture doesn’t add value to the actual purpose of life and what the future holds. Culture been divided by false religion not the lifestyle. it is funny that you said your god and we all a image of god at the end of the day. Culture is a preference from people ideas and what they consider themselves to be and to hold a certain lifestyle because of what they eat or how they carry themselves in a certain way different from others and etc.
@BLULIU so, you're not part of a culture? Just a religion? You didn't specify which god or gods you meant, so I didn't assume. Not that a particular religion would make any difference. Some people have many gods, and some people have none, but they can all be a part of the same culture. Culture definitely adds to the purpose of life. Passing down traditions through generations is how to keep culture alive. Culture can define a country. Religion can divide it. Culture existed before religion was brought into it. There's no false religion, only different religions. If you believe in false religion, then you would have to admit that yours is false in someone else's eyes. The purpose of life?! Who's to say what someone's purpose should be!? That's up the individual, and it wouldn't have to be based on religion. It sounds like you don't have any empathy for someone else's culture or even religion, for that matter.
Can you please talk about retirement in Korea, and what pensions are like, how do old people support themselves ? I am often saddened by seeing so many old people out collecting cardboard etc, for very little money , especially in winter. Do they not recieve a government pension or some type or welfare ? I do like though that there are many activities for the elderly and you often see them together, whether it's gateball, or scores of men playing 'Go' at the park, or all of them dressed up in their colorful hiking clothes going on hikes.
its very strange for a culture that claims they really respect seniors which si just bs.. its just used bully most times.. real seniors get really discriminated.. honsetly , after you given your dues to society you souldn't have to worry about huousing, food etc.. you do deserve to live the rest of your life peacefully and not picking up cardboard.. going clean up labour, washing toilets, etc.
Usually the children would take care of the elders and family members. When young adults stop having children and they get old, then you have this situation where no one's left to take care of them. There's also this separate issue where a lot of the younger generation moved from rural areas and villages to the cities to find jobs, it left those areas with only old people with no one to look after them. Now those rural ares and villages are dying out and disappearing altogether because there are no young people to replace them with.
i've heard that they actually get government pension thing but since everything is so expensive, they still need to work.... their children can barely support them because the children also face the same thing
@@npcimknot958 They only respect seniors who have status. Those without are looked down upon. It's the same in most of Asia. I see it a lot in Japan. Only the well off seniors get the respect. Poor off seniors get none. I would say in general the west is more respectful of seniors, especially in Europe.
Korea needs to change their way of renting - in America we pay 2 months rent as a deposit then pay monthly rent on rentals. this would slow down investors from being able to buy up all the property. Who wants to have a child that has to go to school from 8am to 11pm everyday. This is torture for children as they have no time to play or to build social skills. In America children may have extra tutoring but they do not go to school after 3pm yet we have kids going to Harvard, Yale, MIT, etc.
We also have a low birth rate in Barbados and immediately there are always men who are quick to say that women don’t want to have children but my question is how are women supposed to support them when most of the time the relationships are so short and also of these women are either not employed or are working for minimum wage. Prices are way too high and this is something all countries face so there is no way that families will not be affected. Who wants to have children only to have them supported by the state? As for social media, I remember parents always telling you to stop watching what other people have. We’ve thrown out most of what we grew up with but in doing so we’ve thrown out most of our values as well. Now people want to be free to do what they want when they want and children are seen as a burden. We ridicule housewives and act as though they are less even when we know that raising children and running a household is hard but also valuable. I hope we all wake up. It will interesting to see what direction countries take to encourage people to have children.
But I saw a documentary about many underaged girls are getting pregnant and they try to abort or abandon the baby because their families reject the child- and the social stigma. I'm not sure if 2% is accurate...look it up! And the father would not add the child to the register etc. So these young girls were made to give up their children and if they didn't they couldn't get jobs and the stigma is huge. This was a heartbreaking Korean documentary I saw
I watched a film on a baby box church for women to leave their babies they have had before marriage (among other reasons). This was in one church, in one area of Seoul. Most of the children went to orphanages and they received 1 baby every 2 days! Are these babies counted in this baby rate does anyone know?
I suspect Korea is facing some of the same issues as the rest of the OECD - issues like exploitative work environments, insufficient pay, & the hoarding of wealth. What I’ve also seen, so far, is the very particular Glass Ceiling that exists in Korea. While usually applied to systematic Misogyny, Korea has a Glass Ceiling for Disabled people, too. There’s a conflicting expectation that women should be fiercely on top of their game, keeping their house in order & having a successful career, while simultaneously being a fragile wallflower in need of Rescue. It’s impossible to meet the standard, because the goalposts keep shifting. Add Disability to the mix & you have a society that actively excludes people who could & would make society a better place. Korea is not alone in their exclusion of people with Disabilities. New Zealand’s housing is a great example. 2% of residential property in New Zealand is Accessible. Disabled people make up one quarter of the general population. Basically, everywhere has problems. So long as we’re working on failing better & learning from it, I think we could be okay.
It is hard in all different cultural for people to marry these days. Some reasons are just based on traditions. Marrying someone younger than you to ensure giving offspring, The man should be in control of the finances are just two major reasons. However, the reasons don't take into account factors like the male not having a job, or one of the persons in the couple had a previous marriage in which the some one was abused. Then there are people who feel that after a failed relationship make them not want to have the hassle of having another permeate relationship. In the beginning it was expensive to get married now it is more expensive to get divorced.
While I appreciate all of the videos TTMIK provides to help Korean learners, videos like this make understanding the culture and learning some Korean phrases fun and interesting. Thanks!
That's true. I am french, and most of the people my age I know had children not being married. And many are still not married. Some living together, some separate etc....
Stumbled into this vid accidentally, I'm not sure if you're a native english speaker but your vocabulary and wisdom makes me want to learn english from you.
I think some big obstacles are high house prices, how expensive rentals & deposits and many other things are (esp. in Seoul), not enough good job opportunites, M/F job and family/social inequalities and pressures, having children is very expensive (and many don't want to bring children into such an uncertain and unstable world right now) etc....
I want to thank you for, in the first part, using the term “apartments”, when as an American, I often hear in Korean TV series the term “house” used when it is obviously an apartment! Why do they confuse the two terms? A house is an independent free standing structure for one family.
Because the word 집 is just used to refer to one’s home. House/home. Although most people live in a mini apartment style (villa) or large ones. Also, One rooms ect. Not many people live in a house structure.
topic for a future video: learning Korean for older (retirement age, 65+) learners, who have lots of time but maybe less memory strength: do you have any particular tips or experience with older learners you could share? I am a big fan and TTMIK user currently in your Level 3, but retention of vocabulary is an issue for me even if I have all the enthusiasm! Thanks in advance
You talked about the conditions that perpetuated the low rate of birth. Other than the variable cultural norms, sky rocketing house prices and the social /media influences are not exclusive to Korea. It is the same everywhere in the big cities of the world. Somehow, I think, though I stand corrected, women refused /rebel against the idea that their womb is held captive in the patriarchial practices....i.e. once married you are expected to reproduce and the rest, work/social life are secondary/negated. If the favourable conditions are induced to encourage matrimonial union, the expectations are the same. As of the XX origin, i ask myself, WHAT FOR? The change needs to come from men, on general.
Gonna be honest, if you don't change your culture significantly, there will be hardly any changes. 1. Working hours. If people have hardly time to have free time for friends, hobbies etc. because they work way too long, they can't have enough time for kids and are also way too exhausted. Usually people get exhausted after they have kids, not before they have them. I know Korea grew their wealth by working hard and you don't want to lose that, I get the fear. However, I believe that productivity doesn't come from long working hours always. People that pride themselves with having long working hours, don't have the best outcomes neccessarily. Studies have shown that produktivity didn't go back when hours were cut. I can attest to that, I worked only 3/4 of a German full time job because of kids, which was 30h a week. My colleague in the office worked 40h in the same job basically and got done the same ammount as me. So Korea should have strickter working laws, preventung too long hours basically. The hurdle is, the income would have to stay the same, and be measured in productivity not only hours. 2 . Just yesterday saw a graphic regarding dating. It showed for 4 nations, that the young woman get slowly more progressive, while the young men tend to become more conservative now. The nations were the US, UK, South Korea and last I forgot, and while the trend was the same in all, South Korea had by far the worst devide, basically the graph of the SK men literally plummeted down hard to conservative. With such a devide in values, it's not hard to believe at all, if young woman in Korea chose to rather stay single, not marry and definitely not have children. If Korean men (talking in general of course) don't start to respect the women as equal humans rather than wanting the good ol Bangmaid, I fear it will be hard to even lessen the trend, least turn it around. Electing that conservative old general and all the anti feminist movement was really a bad move for better birth rates. Watched some variety shows and the misogyny I saw was bad. There was this show with problems with kids and while I totally got that the little boy needed more attention, the only solution the show brought, was mom working even more. Dad not involved in solution at all, grandma had to get more rest, so mom with a small baby on top of the toddler had to work even more, because she took on more work back from grandma and had to give the toddler more attention with quality playing time. I could bet that the "solution" will last 4 weeks max., by then mom will be even more exhausted than already is or fall ill, in which case both kids will be neglected. But hey, they shamed her grately into it. Saw other equally bad advices, where it was usually the women that had to make big moves or be more understanding of everyone elses practical needs, while for the men men it was mostly something like "please say I love you to your wife", then he did and that was it. In none of the cases I saw I had ever the feeling that it was "solved" in a way that also benefitted the mom in the family. They were fake solutions. 3. Korea is such a digital country already, young people are technically extremely savy why not allow more remote jobs from home? I know bosses want to see their workers work, so noone dares to leave before they go, but frankly that is stupid. It would be beneficial to develop other towns than Seoul more, maybe even with a social housing program, if needed new fast train tracks so poeple can visit meetings in personal once a week, but could otherwise handle job and kids better. In short the controlling "I need to see you work" culture needs to go and be replaced by more trust, you only controll the outcomes weekly. Sure this is not possible for all jobs, but for many it would. Ever growing Seoul bigger is not the solution and too expensive anyway.
Thank you so much! I appreciate your words on différent topics every time. They are concise, intelligent and accurate. As Wells as TTMIK lessons! Keep on the good work - you and all your colleagues.. Sorry for my English but surely sincere!!!
If there will be practice of leaving children with mother plus spousal support after divorce, number of marriages and birth rate would increase. Its this way in Germany and mostly secure women or whoever take care of child. It also has downsides, but I think its reason of okayish fertility rate here, based on my surroundings
Nobody realises US provides many benefits for those married and have kids and if theyre jobless while South Korea doesn't and their working hours and wages are also bad .... if people expect to compromise on standard of living just to have a family that'll make ones life stressful .. governments in most Asian countries provide NOTHING at all to their people while in west they have it way easy infact many would have kids to be able to apply for more food stamp and what not ... while in Sk and many other Asian countries you cant have any basic necessities and will have to be able to afford I can barely do my bills how will I raise a child ? So yeah it's tough
As the child of an educator and a parent of 3 adult children, the youngest still in university, education is just as important for South Africans. It just strikes me how opposite we were raised in SA and how it contributes to happiness and success without feeling shamed. Even if my youngest kid was outstanding in math and preferred to excel in music, I just bit my lip and zipped it. He's happy, studying and earning extremely well part-time. You can only do so much to encourage your children without crushing their spirits, health, or well-being! I feel so sincerely sorry for Korean kids. We have extremely strong cultural values, too, but kids need to grow up without feeling inadequate. It is so sad that young people are avoiding marriage and children to experience freedom because it is a beautiful part of living! I honestly hope that the Korean government can do something to change the educational approach and living costs. Parents shouldn't buy their children a house. They should enjoy their retirement. My hubby and I had very little when we got married, and it makes you appreciate what you've worked hard to achieve. It's no shame to start at the bottom. It's perfectly fine!
Exactly, and they should be proud of it. And I think this is a big reason why they are so low in crimes. Having a culture of baby mamas and baby daddies doesn’t help any society.
Wow this was so informative. I'm not Korean or from Korea but like I really don't wanna get married and am trying to figure out how to get out of getting married cuz its such a social norm in my country :( I know other friends who dont wanna get married to and I know friends who dont wanna get married but had to too.
Thank you. As always, very interesting. I like this format! I like how you approach different topics and how you handled this topic as well. How you name facts and also give your point of view, never makes a topic too heavy, but always gives it the right amount of sincerity it deserves.
![10 things that are considered RUDE in Korea [KOR/ENG sub]](/img/n.gif)
In my opinion cultural topics are just as important as learning the language. They go hand in hand. So I love that you guys do this occasionally.
They can't afford children but they can buy plastic surgery.
Sorry I was reminded of my own life.
I agree. It wasn't until I took a Korean culture class and learned about collectivism that I finally understood why in Kdramas they always said "our house" instead of "my house"
@@eleanormedina6703 much much cheaper... Don't care for any...
I agree
As someone whose been living in Korea for 8 years, and married to my Korean spouse for 2 years I cannot tell you how deeply I resonated with the phrase ‘Outside of Seoul there’s nowhere for young people to work, but in Seoul there’s nowhere for young people to live’ - this is the crux of a lot of struggles for us as a married couple. I met my partner in Busan and he was born there, but we were forced to move to Seoul for both of our careers. I hate Seoul, and I really miss Busan, but there aren’t many opportunities for us there. And at the same time we’ve been living in a tiny 30 square meter apartment in Seoul for the last 4 years that we can barely afford. There is no way we’re in a position to have children now, space wise and financially, even though both of us want them. Seoul is a black hole and I really think the government needs to focus on development in other areas of the country
You guys hang is there. So sad to hear Busan, as beautiful as it is, has no job choices for you guys. This is sad. However, it’s like that all over Korea. It appears the entire country is no place for the younger generations. Seoul is so overrated, but hope the best for you two.
Do Koreans pay local taxes, regional taxes, and national tax?
I ask bc I live in a town where I am constantly amazed how our *local* county government is always putting new buildings, making deals (like free rent) for big companies and restaurants to come to our little town and create new jobs. Nowhere I lived before has ever been so proactive in creating growth. I feel very lucky, and wish Korean regional governments could (or would) do the same for their constituencies.
We do pay a lot of tax, if we earn a lot, but there is also help for people not earning so much. I am sad to hear it’s so hard for young people Korean ppl. 😢 Bringing business to outlying regions is so important for the entire nation to thrive. I hope your politicians will step up and sort this out. Thanks for the heavy issues. They are very real and important. Great video!!
😢😢
I love Busan too! but I guess due to lack of work opportunities, many people being pushed to live in Seoul. Seoul is so crowded!
I’ve never been to Seoul and really want to visit Korea, but Busan always sounds like a beautiful albeit more remote feeling place compared to Seoul. I live in the U.S. and live in a 83.61 square meters apartment with my two rescue pets. Your description of your home is nearly 3 times smaller than mine! That blows my mind. I’m sorry that you’re not able to live where and how you want 💜 Are there remote opportunities there that could lend toward moving back to Busan someday? City living is not for the faint of heart. I live in a city myself and am very fortunate to have what I have, yet I can say with confidence city life is not for the faint of heart. I’m rooting for y’all!!!
Speaking as an American who has lived in Korea for the past decade, I'm also really curious to see how Korean society will change over the next few generations. While I know this statement may be controversial, I'm not exactly disappointed that there are going to be fewer people that will have to endure the Korean education system and company life. I've worked with both Korean students in Korea and foreign students in Korea, and while obviously circumstances vary greatly by individual, I was just really heartbroken by the high levels of shame, anxiety, stress and emotional suppression that Korean kids of all ages tended to show in regards to their educational experience. The sad part is that the kids who seemed to live this way were the ones whose parents put immense academic pressure on them - not because they are bad parents or evil parents, but because this is genuinely what parents feel like they need to do in order to give their kids a leg up...and they are right. That being said, I'd like to think that part of the birthrate decline is due to Korean people in their 20~50s realizing the toxicity of it all and refusing to put their hypothetical kids through it. A system in which a child's chances for achieving financial stability is often dependent on how hard their parents can push them past emotionally healthy limits is not something that prospective parents are comfortable perpetuating. So instead, they choose to live their adults lives childfree, with the emotional freedom that they never got as kids. Just a hopeful theory though, I'm certainly not an expert on this issue by any means
You're not an expert but you have some point 😊
makes sense
They simply can't afford it.
Great perception! Spot on! Although, you do not have to be an expert to know or see this. It’s the truth, no matter how much it hurt to voice it, it is very much true. The Korean culture are portraying this daily in their dramas, movies, and everyday walk of life. However, in 🇺🇸, their Korean culture is not as hard on the Korean children outside of the country Korea. Now, the parents still want their Korean children in 🇺🇸 educated and well situated in life to compete, but it is no way like the demands the Korean parents put their children through in Korea. A child in Korea cannot live a normal life unless it’s about daily competition, whether it is sports, education, what university you’re attending, your career, the family business qualifications, etc, the list is long, not to mention all that is thought about there is beauty, money, materialistic measures and family status. Nothing else matters. When you see Korean children after school, they are either going to a study hall or leaving one. Too much pressure to end up only working or living the same life when if they weren’t so pressured. People and society are speaking of changes in the Korean culture and their country, a good professional guess, it will NEVER happen. Let’s be realistic, look at their country, the location, things that are not easily accessible, it is too hard to change that. It’s almost impossible. Koreans probably smile when they read they are changing from the norms they know as survival, they will continue to push their children to no end. Actually, there is nothing else to do, except what they are doing and known all their lives. So, now their children are growing up not getting married or having children, but most have a nice place to live or still in their parents home, with a nice savings, and that’s all they have to show from their pressured upbringings 😢, so notoriously sad. Now the world can see the huge alcoholism rate, bullying rate, divorce rate and suicidal rate in Korea. 😢😢😞
Partly facts
My Korean friend, a woman, says she do not plan to marry or have kids bc it is “death to career”. She told me many companies like to hire single women who don’t plan on marrying. She also said those that are married are subjected to intrusive personal questions such as “do you plan on having children?” As in …we don’t want to waste time on someone who will “inconvenience “ them with maternal leave. She said as a woman in patriarchal Korea, it is better to remain single and independent.
Does anyone else share the same feelings as my friend?
That is sad to hear but that would explain why many women may not want to marry and have children
It is illegal to ask such questions of a potential employee or current employee. That is very sad that women are being subjected to such invasive questioning.
@@TeeBoyd88 they did this in the USA for the longest time until laws were put in place that you can’t ask those questions. 😕
She doesn't mention the sex she has to do just to stay in the job.
@jaumartinez9006 because future generations matter.
I’m about to watch the video but I just watched a TikTok from a Korean guy who said it wasn’t surprising what’s happening because of the effects of how expensive everything is but he also spoke about how Korean women are treated. The current 4B movement in Korea makes sense to him because it’s a reaction to how women aren’t treated like human beings.
Adding to your point: A 2022 survey in SK revealed that 65% of women, compared to 48% of men, do not want children.
My neighbor who's now married to an afghan man did tell me about how her ex-husband, who was a South Korean, treated her in an awful manner and I quote "Like a maid" for 2 years of Covid and the moment the quarantine was lifted she divorced him and met her current husband and I didn't really give much thought to it but then I went onto this rabbit hole of how Korean women are treated and how little rights they are given in South Korea alongside the awful treatment in society by KM after videos about them got recommended to me and WOW I'm shocked..😮
This!
It's mostly economic. As long as the cost of owning a home and raising children remains high, the birth rate will remain low.
Also the sudden end to the wife's career growth, since Korean managers expect the woman to drop out of her job duties to care for the husband and upcoming kids.
There are some interesting points here of why, from a male perspective marriage is becoming less desirable in Korea (the pressure to buy a house and the emphasis on what you own and what your status is). I’ve been living in Korea for two years and I’ve talked to several Korean female friends about this in their 20s 30s 40s and 50s. From a female perspective, they say gender imbalance as one of the reasons that marriages is less desirable. For example, when a Korean woman marries there’s an expectation that they should go to their partners parents home during holidays and perform ancestral rites for his side of the family, but there is no expectation on the man to do those things for her family. There’s also pressure for the female side to cook massive banquets during these special events. I have a Korean friend in her 20s whose boyfriend broke up with her because she said that she wasn’t down with this. She ended up marrying a Belgium guy.
Another lady I know who’s in 40s and unmarried tells me about friends who have similar problems. This lady also often tells me stories about violence committed towards females by males in the news… so I think these kinds of societal problems like violence to women, and no respect for women’s feelings are what the women are feeling.
I'm a complete outsider, but from what I've seen from interviews and read over the years, I agree. When you also factor in the social pressure on women to quit their jobs, either as soon as they get married or when they start a family, and how companies openly screen female job candidates by age and sometimes even ask about dating status in interviews to make sure they won't be leaving to get married too soon, it's no wonder women choose not to.
bs.... misandry is rampant in S.korea .... liberalism and feminism make marriage unbearable .... i dont feel surprised in the next century S.Korea lost their identity and replaced with brown people from other continent
Although it doesn represent the average, i saw a street interview in SK among men and women whether they wanted kids. Most men wanted it, most of the women didnt. These stark contrast really shows how much a woman needs to consider to sacrifice to attain this goal especially in their society. Men can sometimes say, we will help and all, but its really difficult to make the mental adjustments especially if youre a daughter who has been observing and listening to our mothers, aunts and grandmas
Women are severely abused in South Korea. They are so abused and disrespected, they have started a pro-woman movement called The “4B” movement. They ARE NOT MARRYING OR HAVING KIDS ANYMORE, men have treated them so badly. Abuse is commonplace.
The 4B movement has taken off, and it has grown so big, that now men can’t get married because the young women don’t want them anymore - who want to get married only to be beaten, and told by patriarchal society that as women, they are worthless? WOMEN ARE SICK OF THIS TREATMENT! This is global too, as women everywhere are going through the same thing. In america, it has been estimated that in 7 years, 45% of ALL WOMEN IN AMERICA will be single or never married, and about 80% of them will be childless. What woman wants to literally risk their life gicing birth to some monster’s kid, and these monsters abandon their own kids anyway.
WOMEN ARE DONE WITH MEN! NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY ETHICS OR MORALITY!.
Feelings over their duty, let them become leftovers that no one doesn't want
As a person that lives in France and is married to a French person (that I actually met and married in Korea, lol), the 60% of children born out of wedlock in France is quite a bit misleading. In France there is a form of common-law marriage called "pacte civil de solidarité" or PACS for short. This is something a couple actually signs with a government office, so it's registered, and in France this PACS agreement gives a couple a LOT of the same benefits as being married (not all of course) while not having to actually be married, it's an extremely popular option for a lot of French people and/or French residents that have no desire to immigrate from France. There are very very few countries that recognize a PACS agreement though so for the most part outside of France it is considered that they are not married, like in the statistics used here. Personally, as from what I have seen just living here in France and getting to know people here, I'd say 70-80% of those children considered "born out of wedlock" outside of France were born to PACS couples (I'm mostly talking cis-het couples here, because surrogacy is against the law in France so male gay couples have to have a surrogate outside of France, and since PACS has no legal status over children gay and lesbian couples that want their partner to have legal status over their naturally born children have to be married). Culturally, if you ask French people that have a PACS if they are husband and wife, I'd say 80% will say yes, they wear wedding rings and everything, so in that context the children born in those unions culturally are not "born out of wedlock". Honestly, out of all the couples I know that have kids here in France, only 2 are actually married, and I know quite a few. I know for statistics this doesn't help, and it can look a bit confusing as an outsider looking in, but there's a connotation that children born out of wedlock are to people that are not already in a committed relationship with each other, and for the majority of those children here in France that's not true, their parents are in a legally recognized registered relationship
Thanks for sharing this! It's very interesting and something I definitely didn't know. Do you happen to know why they chose this instead of getting married? I'm only asking cause I don't know anything about French culture. It seems that they are already acting like a married couple in every regard including considering themselves married. Is it just cheaper this way or is there another reason that they find the pacte civil de solidarité to be a better option than officially getting married? I'm in the USA and a few states do have common-law marriage (I think only 15 states), but it's basically just a protection for those who have been living together for around 7 years or more if their partner passes away.
@@Lizpowell111 There's many layers to this, it can't be attributed to a simple reason. One reason would be wanting to avoid wedding ceremonies, and the fact that getting married without holding a ceremony is not quite yet socially acceptable. All in all, PACS is less formalities than marriage, and less burdensome (it's easier to break than having a divorce). Also, some couples get PACS'd for admin reasons and don't see it as a life-long commitment contract - and after living that way for 5, 10, 15 years...sometimes having bought a house and getting children along the way... they don't see the point in getting married.
C'est vraiment ça! Même les "religieux" vivent à la colle ou pacsés. 4 kids, one maried, 2 Pacsed, the oldest daugther prefer taking care alone Her kids.
@Lizpowell111 Because legally, if you want to break up with your partner and you're married, you have to go through divorce pay a lawer and split everything. PACS on the other hand doesn't need to go through divorce, if one person wants to break the contract no need to get a lawer. And the belongings are not couple properties but one person properties so no need to go through the splitting belongings things. Expect if you decided while being PACSed to have things as a couple. When you're married it's automatic everything is ours (as couple). Also with a PACS you can't adopt, and if you're partner dies you can't have their belongings and you're not considered as a widow.
Oh and mariage is held in city hall, PACS is held in a office with a solicitor
I'm French and I can confirm this. Pacs is easier, faster, a lot cheaper and seen just as beneficial and projective. It' sometimes convenient for administrative reasons, especially for civil servants . Very importantly , should the couple want to break up, even only one of them, it won't cost them an arm and a leg and will be a lot less hassle. The French love to feel they have that freedom. Then they may marry later on into the relationship, as my own cousin did 9 years after he pacsed. Also it is( was) popular with divorced catholic couples as socially acceptable, since they are not supposed to remarry. The statue of mariage has changed. My sister, and another cousin, have respectively 3 and 4 kids. They organised a grand mariage each time to please their children and because of course they felt they were making a statement that the relationship was there to stay. Not because they needed to be married or had any pressure to do so.
I grew up in a family with strong women, who worked and did not rely just on their partner's income. The women also expected the men to help with the kids and home and I entered my marriage expecting shared duties and that was 30 years ago now 😊
I’ve been living in Korea for a few years and what I’ve noticed as the most important factors :
1. Housing is so expensive, people need appropriate housing for a family which isn’t available
2. Flex culture, I work in a kindergarten and the 3 year olds are already dressed in Burberry, Dior etc I’ve noticed a lot online and in person that people feel pressure to provide these material things for kids so that they aren’t bullied at school or look “poor”. Even taking your kids on holiday during the school year is important because 100% attendance is seen as “perfect poverty” here.
3. Gender issues - A lot of people don’t want to marry and face familial issues and fulfil stereotypical roles. Also after having children it’s harder for women to get hiired or continue work.
4. Again the fixed norms like Hyunwoo mentioned, one fixed norm I’ve noticed is buying a designer bag (usually Chanel) as the engagement gift.. I’ve had male friends tell me that that’s a lot of pressure esp when they are not earning that much esp since this is just the beginning of iceberg of the social norm they have to fulfill.
These are just a few things I’ve noticed
Flex culture is so dangerous yikes. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy splurging on something luxury for myself, but I don’t put myself in debt to do it. I stay in my financial lane. Collective consciousness of how you are perceived by others can be harmful when it’s in this context. I do, however, like the idea of someone being conscious in principle alone that their choices and actions affect more than just the individual. I just don’t like it in the context of consumerism lol 😂 People shouldn’t feel pressured to buy a label or brand solely for image sake, but that is the current social condition. Buy it because you enjoy it, and you have the means. I think it goes a step further than shopping addiction. It’s literally a social standard and expectation, and not up to one’s true personal preference. That’s the part that’s scary.
How many people want a job that demeans them and does not appreciate all their hard work, who demands a lot, but acknowledges little?
:(
This phenomenon of low marriage rates is now unfolding in most developed countries and while inflation and house prices are a major factor i feel like this is a more male centered perspective on why marriage rates are getting low. Ask any woman, and they will tell how marriage today is same as saying goodbye to successful career, that the responsibility of household chores still falls majorly on them after marriage, that even if housing became affordable many would still choose to remain unmarried.
I absolutely agree: it's not just the development of the economy and the cost of living. Even in developed countries, everything related to family and household work is mainly done by women; As a rule, men only do their professional activities (not always, but in most cases). I don't even want to start talking about the financial dependence that women become. It's a mystery to me how anyone can overlook this important aspect.
While I agree with you, I think the topics he touched on specifically sheds light on why it's so much worse in S. Korea than in many other countries.
We're all seeing the decline in having kids or getting married across the globe as a general matter. However when it the percentage gets to low single digits, that's a sign that something more is going on.
I have zero interest in having kids but the scenario he painted would have cemented that decision more. Many women haven't had kids but they're still fence sitting and it could go either way. The scenarios he outlined would take the usual reasons and make it in such a way that no one in their right mind would bother if they weren't financially secure.
I think once there are societal changes in South Korea among the classes, people will desire building families. The cost of living is unrealistically high for most. There needs to be a narrowing between the “haves” and the “have-nots”. Giving people opportunities equitable to the work they put in to meeting their financial goals.
12:30 "There will be good moments, and not so good moments. It's normal, that's life".. I love this man's words sm
i like this format , learning about the real life in korea is also important , really difficult situation
Thinking about the rapid pace of change that Koreans have lived through I can only imagine how difficult it is for norms and expectations to shift.
House prices and other economic pressures have a major influence on people's family decisions here in the UK. The location of jobs and growth are really not in the same areas as houses that people can afford. The growing gap between the rich and poor is really connected to these questions for us. x
I think something important you missed is hagwon costs. An middle class family pays PER month for 1 kid averagely somewhere between $500~1000 or even more. From elementary to high school. And parents are still expected to pay for college and more hagwons for the english test, certificates, etc to help their kid MAYBE beat the odds to a successful life. All kids go to hagwons, no parent will let their kid fall behind in class, especially since their success depends on the national college entrance exam. For many people, thats retirement money.
I believe the long working hours employees are expected to work, make it difficult for women to have successful careers and children. If you have invested in a top education and want to attain the highest level in your field, it requires employees spend long days at work, and therefore may not have time for children. Finding men that are willing to take over as main caregivers and put their careers on hold or even just take over half the child rearing responsibilities, is still not common in Korea. Women are the ones who choose to have babies, and if they feel it will only disadvantage them, then they will choose to have few or none. Its’s only logical.
Agreed completely :(
Women did not the choice to be Single and with child.I am tired of this crap. Years later the male falls in love with the child? Right.. than marries the female due to the child. Boo hoo. The male is absolutely able to please the birth child?
Why don't they just cut the working hours?
@@an.hs.nWell, in fact, additional hours were proposed which was thankfully scrapped due to major backlash from the people. No proposal yet to lessen the working hours though.
These are issues that are happening worldwide not just in Korea. Times are getting harder just to survive but having kids really complicated things. Some do marry but don’t have kids.
Yea but Korea is the worst , when you look at the numbers .
Yes, but not even close like in korea.
but what about pakistan 😅
What about gender roles and expectations on women when they get married?
The media is lying
Western women are doing great...60% divorce rate right
All the factors you mentioned are pretty much the same for the low marriage rate and the low births rate in my country, Greece. Especially after the financial crisis my country has been through, the problem got worse and unfortunately the governments are unable to motivate young people.
After watching many documentaries related to this topic, my opinion as an outsider, is that the low incidence of births within the unmarried adult population is not an indicator of less pregnancies, but likely of more abortions. Even if they want to have a child eventually, many unmarried women and their partners would rather abort secretly than be judged , treated badly and miss academic and career opportunities for decades due to an unplanned pregnancy, coupled with the heavy stigma of getting pregnant outside of marriage (which not only impacts the couple but also their families).
Aside from just increasing the birth rate among married couples, if the Korean government wants to increase the birth rate overall, it needs to develop a safety net of easily accessible, no-judgement social services for unmarried parents, and start working on convincing their society (especially older generations) that these parents and their children have inherent value and should not be socially mistreated or ignored because of their circumstances.
I think the statement about there being no jobs outside of Seoul and no housing inside translates very directly to rural vs. urban life in the US - and it’s a big driver of our terrible political polarization here.
Do you think though because of the aftermath of Covid lockdown that there are more opportunities now for telework? things which I could do from anywhere. I am close to retirement in the US so I have been headed in this direction for quite a while, where I will be able to work from anywhere so that I don’t have to go into an office in the city five days a week.
@@McPixelWizard I assume there are more telework opportunities now, but I'm not sure. My husband and I left Silicon Valley 13 years ago, because on paper it looked like we were really successful, but our two full time jobs didn't make it sustainable to have a ratty 2- bedroom apartment and day care for our kids. We were burning savings every month to keep both of us going to work (in the middle of the 2008 financial crisis) and we certainly didn't see a future where we'd ever own a home. So, we moved to the rural area where we grew up and I took my job with me. I've been working remotely ever since. We're financially well off now and we're close to our families. But there are still disadvantages to rural life -- trades not everyone would want to make. In fact, I know several people with good government jobs in my rural town who are opting to work remotely, so that they can live in the city. And a few individuals doing what my husband and I did doesn't begin to smooth out the growing geographic & political polarization. But as a retiree, I imagine you'll be able to find a remote job that lets you pick a location that suits you. Particularly part-time work. I do see more of that over time.
In my country Ghana, a man is supposed to have a house whether its his own or rented before getting married.
The woman can also support the man if she wants too.
Most woman don't like to stay in their mother in-law house due to fear of interference in their marriage with their son.
So its seems we have a lot in common❤
@12:16 ~ Hi Hyunwoo, I am a 30 year old woman living in America. I am back at school for a dual major of psychology and international global studies with the hope of becoming a therapist that helps marginalized populations. My husband and I have been in the process of starting a family for several years.
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I agree so much with your opinion on the television topic. When I'd first heard about them, it gave me daily court show / marury and wilkos American television vibes, which are famous for being rooted in entertainment and shock. It's the same with Dr.Phil. I wish that we as a general world population could move away from needing the shock-value. They promote fear. Whenever I've watched the daily shows here, I leave feeling emotionally drained and overwhelmed. I imagine that many experience the same feelings after watching the shows you'd mentioned in Korea.
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I believe we need to move away from shock-value and learn to appreciate the imperfections that surround us. There is no such thing as a perfect student, husband, wife, mother, father... person. We all make mistakes, we're all human. It's life. Like you said, up and down. It's about learning to ask for help, but also having the one helping learn to appreciate the courage it takes to ask and be humble in their response. There are situations that require less kindness, but I believe the fear of judgement is one of our world's biggest obstacles.
Amen
I think the one contributing problem you left out is work hours. Sure, it is connected with housing cost and the jeonse system (the costs of ownership with none of the benefits). But previous generations could afford for one parent to stay home. Now, both parents must work. But if both parents are working from 9am to 9pm, who will take care of the kids? Especially when the parents probably live near Seoul but the grandparents live in the provinces. In the US, at least where I live near DC, it is typical for one parent to work a later shift (say, 9am to 5:30) so they can drop off the kids at school, while the other works an early shift (6:30 to 3) to pick them up. It is like all the expenses in Korea have entered the modern age, but not work culture. Sadly, the result is a sort of cultural suicide from younger generations who cannot make ends meet while also having a family.
I find it interesting that you really don’t address how much women are second class citizens. Do you think many may prefer a single lifestyle due to that. The latest government is even more misogynistic and turned back even the tiny progress
Yes, that should be at the forefront of the conversation. So many women specifically decide against kids so it makes sense to look at it from a feminist lense as well.
I was thinking the exact same thing, so surprised it wasn't acknowledged at all!
How are Korean women "second class citizens" when they had a female president a couple years ago?? LOL. If you really want to see female oppression go back to the 1900s. SMH we are living in an era where woman have just as many rights if not more than men.
yes, and Korean women are expected to do all the housework, child raising and working outside the home. (and in many other places in the world.)
True. I've been single for the same reason. The married woman's job in many societies is to be a caregiver, and homemaker. I see it as another job/role you can choose, if that's what you want. There's nothing wrong in it, and there's nothing wrong in not choosing it , either. My personal opinion is that both singles & married people will continue to exist, just the ratio might be varying according to the changes in society, it's not an all-or-nothing situation.
There's no reason to fear that marriage will go extinct or that the species will die out, if singles increase a bit.
I respect both choices because there's always abundant reasons for it, within that person's life and perspective. There's no need to judge, there's no need to force others to choose differently. People make the best choice they can, given their situation.
An added issue is the 18-24 month mandatory military service for men ages 18-28. Do you enlist right after high school? After university? Part way through univetsity? Will the job market be the same after either?
If you want to get married-- before service, or after? If married, children before service or after? If a man is unavailable for 18 months, and 3-4 yrs (min.) univ....what will the young women be doing by then? Working.
Employment competition would be serious with the young men coming and going. Some getting promotions while others wouldn't because of enlistment.
I realize there might have been a time constraint with this video, but this was a valuable part of the discussion that was missing.
Thanks for mentioning this😭 I had to leave my hard earned job that I really enjoyed because of enlistment, now I'm stuck here earning way less than minimum wage for 21 months. I was pretty much the only guy in the early 20's in the subways going to work every morning but I saw so many young girls around the same age already working at this age without worrying for military duty which I really envied. Although it's nothing compared to the pain of childbearing they have to go through, they always make it sound like guys *want* kids and are forcing wives to make babies when we absolutely don't. Money is always the number one concern in every Korean men's mind, even more so than the women due to the patriarchal expectations on men to be the provider, so it's why during the pre-marriage relationship phase the boyfriend always becomes very timid when the girlfriend starts asking "when are we gonna get married?". The 2 years of delay in the military don't help at all too.
Young Korean men should go after university to be an officer and if they know English go to the CAF because they will get their rank they made in Korea and do a full military career.
After that, go back home with the CAF Pension. Since Korea is dirt cheap, no problems with getting married and having kids since Korean Divorce Laws are "At Fault"
안녕하세요. 홍콩에서 온 Dreamee(이씨)예요. 형우씨의 공유에 감사해요. 이것이 10년에서 20년 전쯤에 홍콩에서 있었던 상황이에. 한국은 사람들이 상황이 너무 나빠지기 전에 관심을 가지 것은 정말 행운입니다.
By the way, I like your videos a lot. Your voice is calm without being boring!!! Nice!!
A topic suggestion: "The relation between Interracial marriages and Korea's social norms". Or.. "Interracial marriages in Korea"
Thank you in advance 🙏✨
Not sure if many korean are open to idea of dating or even marrying foriengers.
You have a really good head and voice about the situation you're speaking on here. It was really insightful - and I'm so excited to see South Koreas changes occur in the near future.
I liked this candid take on the situation, I think serious topics can be good!
I found your video really nice and informative. You have a pragmatic but also historically based illustration of how things work in Korea. Well done. You explained it very well.
I think the main reason is because tooo much stress, serious lack of opportunities, can't make a decent living while everything is way too expensive, and people are unrealistically over-demanding or don't do anything about cultural problems. I would always hear if you have money south Korea is a fun place to be but not a place to live. I feel blessed my family immigrated from Korea a long time ago.
I really wanted a video like this.It's an important issue to talk about.Thank you so much for explaining this to us.
I'm a foreigner married to a Korean and we live in Korea. We really struggled to get a house in Korea because the banks refuse to offer loans to foreigners in Korea. The only loan we could get together was the newly wedded loan, but with both of us working (and barely making above minimum wage) we were above the income bracket to receive the loan. Finally my husband was able to get a loan in just his name. But the struggle was really difficult and at times it really felt hopeless. The loan systems are very strict.
S. Korea is still a baby country and still has old traditions from the past. When Korea breaks away from that thought process and what the elders want for their children, it can evolve to where the younger generation accepts a partner much older than them, someone who was married or has children, not be afraid so much but to be themselves and not worrying about what others think of them especially the 아줌마 and 아저씨 generation. Koreans get shunned if they do not follow the norms and if they break away from traditions. Seeing all white and black cars is an example how they are trapped in a society that is shunned. Buy a red or blue car is seen by others that you're too taboo and you don't fit into the custom. Defending yourself from the older generations and a boss that treats you like garbage. One day Korea will be open minded and accept change.
i have no idea how this would happen but i feel like the big companies in Seoul should somehow move departments of their companies to cities outside Seoul. there are other cities outside of Seoul that would benefit from this and it could over time potentially ease the burden of an entire country thinking they have to live and work in Seoul to be successful
In regards to high housing prices, there's a huge supply and demand problem, especially in Seoul. Over 40% - 50% of the entire Korean population resides in Seoul, which is a huge reason why housing is so expensive. The reason for this is because there isn't much job opportunities outside of Seoul for the general population. If they want to lower housing costs, they need to decentralize and spread out the population throughout the country and make more job opportunities available for younger people elsewhere.
I also have a theory that big, developed cities naturally cause people to have fewer children. It creates a false illusion in the primal part of our brains that there are too many people. We were not designed to live in highly dense spaces packed like rats.
For example, despite the massive wealth gap between N. and S. Korea, N. Korea's population is more spread out in comparison and they have a more stable, sustainable birth rate than S. Korea. This is also true for a lot of other Western, developed nations, they all have a lower birthrate in comparison to other poorer, less developed countries where the population is more spread out.
Cities are where populations and civilizations go to die.
Actually if you do a little digging you will, find that North Korea has a low birth rate. Reports about their leader promising to pay, couple's to have more children. Unfortunately they have a much bigger problem then low birth rate, the people in North Korea have a major food shortage.
@@stephanievoy2426 I think you misinterpreted what I said. I never said N. Korea has a high birth rate, rather that they have a higher birth rate in comparison to S. Korea. Huge difference between the two. Peter Zeihan, who specializes in demographics and macroeconomics, covers this in detail with the numbers to back up his analysis.
As for their food shortage problem, that's been going on for decades. Yet, they still have a higher birth rate than S. Korea.
I feel that this man is so wise and knows how does the life really works. This is the most important point to live happily in my opinion
I am not an expert either, but I think there is one more crucial thing that you forget about. The non-existance of work-life balance... Now the whole world is facing with unbelievably high apartment prices, low salary etc. But in Korea it is just one thing. They don't have time at all to date, or to even meet new people, or to have a healthy 24th century relationship which is not influenced by society or their parents expectations. They simply just don't have time for this. They don't want to have children, because they would only see them when they born. For many years now Korean citizens have been literally raised each other and by social media, because their parents don't have time and energy at all to raise them properly and spend quality time with them between a 12 hour shift and a mandatory company dinner multiple times a week. And it seriously shows now in Korea. It represents their shallow relationship with each other and their true relationship with materialism. And all this frustration comes from their childhood, that's the reason why many of them are so cold and distant or worse... They keep trying to fill this emptiness in themselves. And on the other side of the story they might not want to give this life to their kids either, or they don't want to mirror their childhood on their children.. They might want to spend quality time with them but they know that it is mostly impossible with Korea's working culture, so they choose a childless lifestyle instead...
안녕하세요 현우선생님! 이 문제에 이야기 해봐셔서 감사합니다. 제가 TTMIK와 함께 4년 반 공부하고 있거둔요. 덕분에 한국말을 잘 늘을 수 있었고 지금 한국인이랑 약혼까지도 했습니다. 저 나중에 한국으로 이민한 생각이 있으니까 한국의 이런 사회문제 때문에 고민이 이거저거 많습니다. 사실 영국에서도 대부분 전혀 집을 못 사는 상태 되었어서 이해하는데 현우선생님 말하는것처럼 저랑 한국사람이랑 차이는 제가 결혼하자마자 집 준비할 부담을 느껴번 적이 없습니다. 현우선생님이 이 주제에 이야기 하셔서 남들 한국사람도 이 부담을 안 느껴도 괜찮다고 차츰 깨닿길 바라는 휘망이 조금 생겼습니다.
서울밖에 일할곳이 없고 서울안에 살곳이 없다... 그말은 듣고 소름돋았네요. 우리 모두 다 해결 찾을 수 있길 바랍니다.
노력해서 적어봤는데 말이 되었으면 좋겠다고 생각해요.
I have Korean male friend who said he will not get married for these reasons. Dating as a foreigner is an entirely different story and especially as a black woman, but the men I’ve dated and friends I’ve met seem to want to get married but say they “haven’t found a good match” but they are in their mid to late 30s. I do wonder why it’s hard to meet people when everyone is looking to make connection.
Looove this informational format of current and social events with language learning. I use to live in Seoul but feel somewhat disconnected from what’s happening ever since covid, bc you know..life. Please keep this format going! Would love to hear more topics on society and culture ❤The good, the bad, and the ugly.
This video came at a great time because my Korean friend is getting married on Sunday!
Its not too late to stop it.
@@milkshake519 stop what? You want me to stop the wedding? 😅
This was an interesting culture topic and I’m glad you mentioned it. The housing issue is the same in America. Even with me being in Ohio. You have to stay out in a kinda rural area to get bang for your buck with houses. But when you do, you can get a pretty large house in comparison to a popular city/township, similar with living/working in Seoul. I want to go to school there in Seoul for a few months/ more and I’m looking at places and I’m like- wtf is going on? Same situation here in Ohio so…😕I get it.
Societal pressures from the man to provide; that’s(imo) an old concept that a lot of cultures still uphold so I understand that. But women societal pressures are there too.
I think that women societal pressures wasn’t mentioned as much (as others have said) is because he’s giving his side of it while being informative.
I’m all for being 50/50 or if your partner makes more, it being split based off of both incomes.
That sounds like a lot for the husband’s families to have to take care of, but also the pressure of society on woman are there too. I wonder will that change in Korea?
I know birth rates are declining cause it’s like, hey! Babies cost money! There are a lot of parallels to that in America right now.
Idk I’m just noticing. I want to see something change. Maybe I’ll be able see the changes from both sides.
And the work/life balance to even have a family in Korea. Can you touch on that topic…..?
I’ve heard the work hours there are wild. That could be a factor too.
Ok I wrote a book thx for the video!
I loved this video and learning about the culture of Korea and current societal situations. Helps me to understand context and communicate better knowing where you're coming from. Thank you 😊
Very interesting. I look forward to more insights. You have the look of youth, the calm maturity that comes with parenthood, and the wisdom of elders (not to mention the ability to throw in a little vocab for language learners here😂) Thank you!
That may be a hard topic, but I would really like to know more about North and South Korea history, and relations between countries at the moment.
How modern Koreans of the north and south relate to each other, what the older generation thinks, etc.
Without unnecessary flashy headlines, just a detailed and interesting analysis of the real situation. Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤
Professor Andrei Lankov of Kookmin University has a series of lectures on the history of South and North Korea, and how North Korea lives now. But I don’t know if there are lectures of this kind in English.
There is already content out there regarding those topics-
There are currently no relations between the countries because during the war neither side could fully takeover Korea leaving a wall of hostility between the North and South. The older generation wish the division between the countries never happened because they are not able to communicate or see relatives. I sometimes wonder how much more powerful Korea would be if there was no division. SK is one of the most powerful countries in the world today with only half of the country. Before the division the North used to be more powerful than the South.
What a lot of people seem to forget is, technically the war between SK and NK has never ended. The combat ended on 27 July 1953 when the Korean Armistice Agreement was signed. The Agreement created the Korean Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) as the new border to separate North and South Korea, paused combat on the Korean peninsula, and allowed the exchange of prisoners.
Thanks for sharing, can you share about the retirement life in Korea?
I really enjoyed your video. In countries/cities that have a high “happy” quotient - that is where people say they are happy with where they live etc like Denmark and Vienna in Austria, Antwerp in Belgium there is a lot of social housing available whereby the government purposely builds excellent housing stock for people to rent and each person’s rent in these properties is based on their income ie what they can afford. Maybe the Korean government could look at some of these schemes? Nevertheless, Korea’s advancement from the Second World War has been nothing less than remarkable.
it doesn't work. The birthrate is declining in all the mentioned countries, which shows that affordable housing is not a factor.
Those housings are really bad.
I think you meant to say Korean War, that happened after Second World War.
Hello Danes here, it's not that cheap to live in Denmark, and it's not easy to get a house or an apartment either, I've been signed up for an apartment for about 3-4 years now and still haven't got an apartment
I am hooked on Korean series/movies/music, they portray a wholesome portrait of a society.
However how can the population of Korea grow if so many obstacles are put on their way in terms of housing, low job opportunities, high cost of living?
Korea has to encourage its population to grow, to keep their culture alive, that is so important for its very survival.
What an interesting video. Thank you for presenting it.
I really enjoyed this video. Hope you do more videos regarding social issues. Especially, include historic cultural norms that have had an influence on Korean culture in the 21st. Century. Very interesting topic, thank you.
Hello and thank you for this wonderful topic. I am glad that I found your Podcast so that I can learn Korean. I watch a lot (and I mean a lot) of K-dramas. I will contact you regarding this.
Anyway, I want to share that I have been married over 31 years. Marriage is wonderful mostly when two people come together and do not expect to continue living a single's life. No, no and no. Marriage is not for the selfish. Our lives are not over because of marriage, it is just that you will not have 100% of your money or time for ONLY yourself. It is a share and give-and-take lifestyle.
I remember that my parents and their siblings shared an apartment in New York City and saved enough money to buy their houses/apartments. Many people do this after college for many reasons: 1. They are not ready to have children; 2. They need to pay off loans; and, 3. Want to have fun before settling down completely.
Please come here so often with any topic you want
I'm curious. Here in the US there has been a huge shift for office workers from going to the office to now working remotely, post-pandemic. Meaning you can live anywhere and work online, even work in New York or Washington DC and live somewhere more affordable. South Korea has (I'm told) outstanding internet. So can people live outside of Seoul and work remotely?
There's also the issue of how to balance parenthood and getting your job done --- which affects working women (and working men, for those in an equal partnership) every single day of the work week, for 20+ years. Been there, done that.
This was very interesting. Thank you. I'd love to see a video to go into some depth explaining the big high school test in Korea, I think it's called the 수능? I really want to know more about it.
The only thing I can speak on as an American is basic marriage. Back in the day 50's 60's Men were the main bread winners. Women were the home makers. Usually before marriage was considered Men would afford a place for his wife and future family to live. Some would get assistance from parents especially if it was their first home. Very few would live with their parents but if so a short period of time.(Most Americans are not comfortable with that set up) Living with in laws would be too restrained. Today it can work in a lot of ways. Men or Women can be the bread winners but for the most part it's a individual couple thing. Men and Women get together and decide what each player can or cannot afford. Both sign papers whether their buying or renting. Other thing are decided on individuals income (Sometimes combined income). Living with parents is not desired at all now. Most young Americans want to move from their parents ASAP whether their getting married or not, LOL. One thing that has changed, The young aren't getting married early or as much as they use to. In some cases it's the cost of raising a family. Some just don't want to commit and settle down. Than there are those who say they just can't find their person. The one I hear most is no rush or desire to commit.
Very interesting. I watched a video recently about South Korean men looking for wives internationally and that it’s a thriving business. So some men have found other options.
also a lot of Korean women want to be free and independent :) South Korea is too conservative. Same for Poland, Russia, Japan... and their birth rate keeps dropping too
I agree that Polish society is a little bit conservative, but now everything is changing. Nowadays, is very hard to buy an apartment or house, because prices are very, very high. And, I think, this is one of the most important reason why people haven't children in Poland.
I would argue that when cultures like Japan and Korea started shifting away from conservativism that is when the decline in marriage and birth rate began. Women wanting independence is a huge reason why marriage and birth rates have declined. Women hold all the chips when it comes to fixing these two issues.
I believe many old ideals about how marriage and raising a family should work need to change and be less toxic. With that being said Men need to accept that the roles in modern society are changing and let there pride go. Women need to accept that they can't have their cake and eat it too. If you want to put career first and you want your husband to take a step back and be the primary caretaker you should also be the one providing the house and not judge your man based on his bank account, job, or what car he drives.
@@TBreddYou’re completely forgetting about birth control, its higher rate of effectiveness and accessibility through the decades. When couples have full control of family planning, it seems most want just one or two children. Back when birth control was less effective, couples just had it in their mind that having kids meant a small pack of ‘em, and the more sex you were having, the more likely it’d be that you’d have a big family.
Cost of living is also changed a lot in recent history. Even if there was an overnight revolution and all women wanted to be stay-at-home moms, it’s way less couples these days who can actually afford to do that. So much has changed…
Westernization, modernization, liberalization = all the same thing is the case of this crisis. And you're solution is keep changing. Brilliant....
You fail to recognize all developed countries not just Poland, Japan and Korea have less than 2.1 birth rate which is minimum replacement level.
Did it ever occur to you female empowerment, feminism is what makes women not want to be mothers? I can think of cases where that's not the case, but in general, don't you think encouraging girls to be independent career boss babe and demonizing traditonal role of women might effect the number of women that become mothers?
Women in those countries are free to get a career and sleep with who ever they want. Better careers and more sex partners will probably not lead to more marriages and children.
It’s true. Men are unprepared to level up to compete with independence. At least the vast majority of men….
I’m french - we do not get married until after 2-3 kids..also people got married to the state. Because in the 90s a single mother would receive more money if she was not married and had a child that had a last name. PACS is not a thing compared to what people mentioned above - throughout my life I have rarely met anyone with had it. It’s mainly to keep their financial situation independency.
Religion in France is much less present too - being a traditionally catholic country France used to go to the church more often and get married too. Now people do not bother either as it is not a socially as important as it used to be.
My parents were not married when they had me. And at school in the 2000 I would say it was 70% unmarried not even together anymore children in the classroom
As well.
As for Korea - we know how society treat unmarried women with kids. Religion is quite strong I feel too.
My male Korean friend got married last year in Korea at 29 years old his wife 27. I felt like a shock because only 3 of our university peers (studied in the U.K.) are married out of 100 of us.
😮😮😮
Strange culture in France🥴
Prendre son cas pour une generalité n'aide personne.
One way to deal with the issue of needing to work in Seoul while having affordable housing is to adopt a commuting culture. Here in the USA tons of people work in big cities and live in the suburbs. That would also help with the issue of so many towns becoming deserted like ghost towns. Also the pressure for people to own high-end luxury good when they make an average salary is not healthy either. Making 35-40 thousand a year and wearing Gucci doesn't make sense to me. Last but definitely not least, the work culture. Who wants to even try and date when they are so bogged down with too much work and unfair working hours. Hopefully thing will change. I wanted a documentary about people actually dropping dead in South Korea from being overworked. One of the men was still living at home and in his twenties. That's so sad.
but doesn't korea have commuting culture though?
I know that's why I think if they adopt a commuting culture it would help. There is lots of affordable housing outside of Seoul and Incheon.@@thiya4627
Nice and interesting discussion on this topic👍🏻 This helps us to understand why things are the way they are in Korea... It also helps us to understand Korean culture in little more detail... Especially the concept of 집 장만, 혼수 and 시집 was totally new to me!
I've lived in the US all of my life. I'm now in my 50's and do not see that a man needs to be the primary financial provider. Today, it takes 2 people to be able to provide financially, and sometimes more depending on their job or education. Also everything is wayyyyy too expensive. Houses, food, cars, etc. If you can afford even an apartment, it's usually in a high crime location and who wants to raise a child in that kind of area. One positive in Korea is the lack of guns. Gun violence is another huge issue in the USA. It seems that all countries have their issues.
I wonder, with Korea increasing its visas for foreign workers (with possible extensions), if this may lead to Korean/foreigner relationships and biracial babies and how this would be viewed in Korean culture.
It really doesn’t matter basically. People need to realize we came from god at the end of the day and he said in genesis “ fill the earth and subdue it”. Plus, god is not partial about race or culture. He wants everyone to be a unity and love one another.
@BLULIU I'm not talking about a god or your god.. I'm talking about the Korean culture. Which basically does matter, as it's this exact culture that is facing a huge change. Whether their population continues to decline or not. As all cultures are different in what they can accept or how long they adapt to a change.
@@swishbish4667 I am glad this is happening because people is realizing that we are not supposed to be divided because of a culture. Culture doesn’t add value to the actual purpose of life and what the future holds. Culture been divided by false religion not the lifestyle. it is funny that you said your god and we all a image of god at the end of the day. Culture is a preference from people ideas and what they consider themselves to be and to hold a certain lifestyle because of what they eat or how they carry themselves in a certain way different from others and etc.
@BLULIU so, you're not part of a culture? Just a religion? You didn't specify which god or gods you meant, so I didn't assume. Not that a particular religion would make any difference. Some people have many gods, and some people have none, but they can all be a part of the same culture. Culture definitely adds to the purpose of life. Passing down traditions through generations is how to keep culture alive. Culture can define a country. Religion can divide it. Culture existed before religion was brought into it. There's no false religion, only different religions. If you believe in false religion, then you would have to admit that yours is false in someone else's eyes. The purpose of life?! Who's to say what someone's purpose should be!? That's up the individual, and it wouldn't have to be based on religion.
It sounds like you don't have any empathy for someone else's culture or even religion, for that matter.
This was really well put together, thanks for sharing your insight. We really do have a lot more to say in our 40s don't we :)
Marriage and having kids has always been a positive for men. Not so much for women.
This :(
Can you please talk about retirement in Korea, and what pensions are like, how do old people support themselves ?
I am often saddened by seeing so many old people out collecting cardboard etc, for very little money , especially in winter.
Do they not recieve a government pension or some type or welfare ?
I do like though that there are many activities for the elderly and you often see them together, whether it's gateball, or scores of men playing 'Go' at the park, or all of them dressed up in their colorful hiking clothes going on hikes.
its very strange for a culture that claims they really respect seniors which si just bs.. its just used bully most times.. real seniors get really discriminated.. honsetly , after you given your dues to society you souldn't have to worry about huousing, food etc.. you do deserve to live the rest of your life peacefully and not picking up cardboard.. going clean up labour, washing toilets, etc.
Usually the children would take care of the elders and family members. When young adults stop having children and they get old, then you have this situation where no one's left to take care of them.
There's also this separate issue where a lot of the younger generation moved from rural areas and villages to the cities to find jobs, it left those areas with only old people with no one to look after them. Now those rural ares and villages are dying out and disappearing altogether because there are no young people to replace them with.
i've heard that they actually get government pension thing but since everything is so expensive, they still need to work.... their children can barely support them because the children also face the same thing
@@npcimknot958 They only respect seniors who have status. Those without are looked down upon. It's the same in most of Asia. I see it a lot in Japan. Only the well off seniors get the respect. Poor off seniors get none. I would say in general the west is more respectful of seniors, especially in Europe.
Korea needs to change their way of renting - in America we pay 2 months rent as a deposit then pay monthly rent on rentals. this would slow down investors from being able to buy up all the property. Who wants to have a child that has to go to school from 8am to 11pm everyday. This is torture for children as they have no time to play or to build social skills. In America children may have extra tutoring but they do not go to school after 3pm yet we have kids going to Harvard, Yale, MIT, etc.
We also have a low birth rate in Barbados and immediately there are always men who are quick to say that women don’t want to have children but my question is how are women supposed to support them when most of the time the relationships are so short and also of these women are either not employed or are working for minimum wage. Prices are way too high and this is something all countries face so there is no way that families will not be affected. Who wants to have children only to have them supported by the state?
As for social media, I remember parents always telling you to stop watching what other people have. We’ve thrown out most of what we grew up with but in doing so we’ve thrown out most of our values as well. Now people want to be free to do what they want when they want and children are seen as a burden. We ridicule housewives and act as though they are less even when we know that raising children and running a household is hard but also valuable. I hope we all wake up. It will interesting to see what direction countries take to encourage people to have children.
But I saw a documentary about many underaged girls are getting pregnant and they try to abort or abandon the baby because their families reject the child- and the social stigma. I'm not sure if 2% is accurate...look it up! And the father would not add the child to the register etc. So these young girls were made to give up their children and if they didn't they couldn't get jobs and the stigma is huge. This was a heartbreaking Korean documentary I saw
Wow. 40? Married with kids? I thought you were a 20 year old college student.
I watched a film on a baby box church for women to leave their babies they have had before marriage (among other reasons). This was in one church, in one area of Seoul. Most of the children went to orphanages and they received 1 baby every 2 days! Are these babies counted in this baby rate does anyone know?
I suspect Korea is facing some of the same issues as the rest of the OECD - issues like exploitative work environments, insufficient pay, & the hoarding of wealth.
What I’ve also seen, so far, is the very particular Glass Ceiling that exists in Korea. While usually applied to systematic Misogyny, Korea has a Glass Ceiling for Disabled people, too.
There’s a conflicting expectation that women should be fiercely on top of their game, keeping their house in order & having a successful career, while simultaneously being a fragile wallflower in need of Rescue.
It’s impossible to meet the standard, because the goalposts keep shifting.
Add Disability to the mix & you have a society that actively excludes people who could & would make society a better place.
Korea is not alone in their exclusion of people with Disabilities.
New Zealand’s housing is a great example.
2% of residential property in New Zealand is Accessible.
Disabled people make up one quarter of the general population.
Basically, everywhere has problems.
So long as we’re working on failing better & learning from it, I think we could be okay.
Really interesting!
I look forward to your next video- Thank you 😊
It is hard in all different cultural for people to marry these days. Some reasons are just based on traditions. Marrying someone younger than you to ensure giving offspring, The man should be in control of the finances are just two major reasons. However, the reasons don't take into account factors like the male not having a job, or one of the persons in the couple had a previous marriage in which the some one was abused. Then there are people who feel that after a failed relationship make them not want to have the hassle of having another permeate relationship. In the beginning it was expensive to get married now it is more expensive to get divorced.
The reverse phenomena of arranged child marriages, early and multiple births is the worst possible thing to happen.
갑자기 요즘은 아기가 혼수라는 말이 생각나네요.😊 제가 예전 비디오들을 못 본 건지도 모르지만… 이런 비디오도 새로운 티티믹 장르인 것 같은데, 팟캐스트처럼 듣기 좋은 것 같아요!
While I appreciate all of the videos TTMIK provides to help Korean learners, videos like this make understanding the culture and learning some Korean phrases fun and interesting. Thanks!
That's true. I am french, and most of the people my age I know had children not being married. And many are still not married. Some living together, some separate etc....
Stumbled into this vid accidentally, I'm not sure if you're a native english speaker but your vocabulary and wisdom makes me want to learn english from you.
I think some big obstacles are high house prices, how expensive rentals & deposits and many other things are (esp. in Seoul), not enough good job opportunites, M/F job and family/social inequalities and pressures, having children is very expensive (and many don't want to bring children into such an uncertain and unstable world right now) etc....
I want to thank you for, in the first part, using the term “apartments”, when as an American, I often hear in Korean TV series the term “house” used when it is obviously an apartment! Why do they confuse the two terms? A house is an independent free standing structure for one family.
Because the word 집 is just used to refer to one’s home. House/home. Although most people live in a mini apartment style (villa) or large ones. Also, One rooms ect. Not many people live in a house structure.
topic for a future video: learning Korean for older (retirement age, 65+) learners, who have lots of time but maybe less memory strength: do you have any particular tips or experience with older learners you could share? I am a big fan and TTMIK user currently in your Level 3, but retention of vocabulary is an issue for me even if I have all the enthusiasm! Thanks in advance
Very interesting! Thank you!
Everything explained so beautifully ❤
You talked about the conditions that perpetuated the low rate of birth. Other than the variable cultural norms, sky rocketing house prices and the social /media influences are not exclusive to Korea. It is the same everywhere in the big cities of the world. Somehow, I think, though I stand corrected, women refused /rebel against the idea that their womb is held captive in the patriarchial practices....i.e. once married you are expected to reproduce and the rest, work/social life are secondary/negated. If the favourable conditions are induced to encourage matrimonial union, the expectations are the same. As of the XX origin, i ask myself, WHAT FOR? The change needs to come from men, on general.
Gonna be honest, if you don't change your culture significantly, there will be hardly any changes.
1. Working hours. If people have hardly time to have free time for friends, hobbies etc. because they work way too long, they can't have enough time for kids and are also way too exhausted. Usually people get exhausted after they have kids, not before they have them. I know Korea grew their wealth by working hard and you don't want to lose that, I get the fear. However, I believe that productivity doesn't come from long working hours always. People that pride themselves with having long working hours, don't have the best outcomes neccessarily. Studies have shown that produktivity didn't go back when hours were cut. I can attest to that, I worked only 3/4 of a German full time job because of kids, which was 30h a week. My colleague in the office worked 40h in the same job basically and got done the same ammount as me. So Korea should have strickter working laws, preventung too long hours basically. The hurdle is, the income would have to stay the same, and be measured in productivity not only hours.
2 . Just yesterday saw a graphic regarding dating. It showed for 4 nations, that the young woman get slowly more progressive, while the young men tend to become more conservative now. The nations were the US, UK, South Korea and last I forgot, and while the trend was the same in all, South Korea had by far the worst devide, basically the graph of the SK men literally plummeted down hard to conservative. With such a devide in values, it's not hard to believe at all, if young woman in Korea chose to rather stay single, not marry and definitely not have children. If Korean men (talking in general of course) don't start to respect the women as equal humans rather than wanting the good ol Bangmaid, I fear it will be hard to even lessen the trend, least turn it around. Electing that conservative old general and all the anti feminist movement was really a bad move for better birth rates. Watched some variety shows and the misogyny I saw was bad. There was this show with problems with kids and while I totally got that the little boy needed more attention, the only solution the show brought, was mom working even more. Dad not involved in solution at all, grandma had to get more rest, so mom with a small baby on top of the toddler had to work even more, because she took on more work back from grandma and had to give the toddler more attention with quality playing time. I could bet that the "solution" will last 4 weeks max., by then mom will be even more exhausted than already is or fall ill, in which case both kids will be neglected. But hey, they shamed her grately into it. Saw other equally bad advices, where it was usually the women that had to make big moves or be more understanding of everyone elses practical needs, while for the men men it was mostly something like "please say I love you to your wife", then he did and that was it. In none of the cases I saw I had ever the feeling that it was "solved" in a way that also benefitted the mom in the family. They were fake solutions.
3. Korea is such a digital country already, young people are technically extremely savy why not allow more remote jobs from home? I know bosses want to see their workers work, so noone dares to leave before they go, but frankly that is stupid. It would be beneficial to develop other towns than Seoul more, maybe even with a social housing program, if needed new fast train tracks so poeple can visit meetings in personal once a week, but could otherwise handle job and kids better. In short the controlling "I need to see you work" culture needs to go and be replaced by more trust, you only controll the outcomes weekly. Sure this is not possible for all jobs, but for many it would. Ever growing Seoul bigger is not the solution and too expensive anyway.
Thank you so much! I appreciate your words on différent topics every time. They are concise, intelligent and accurate. As Wells as TTMIK lessons! Keep on the good work - you and all your colleagues.. Sorry for my English but surely sincere!!!
Social economic topics vary a lot of weight, especially to those interested in different cultures. This was a great video!
If there will be practice of leaving children with mother plus spousal support after divorce, number of marriages and birth rate would increase. Its this way in Germany and mostly secure women or whoever take care of child. It also has downsides, but I think its reason of okayish fertility rate here, based on my surroundings
Interesting
Nobody realises US provides many benefits for those married and have kids and if theyre jobless while South Korea doesn't and their working hours and wages are also bad .... if people expect to compromise on standard of living just to have a family that'll make ones life stressful .. governments in most Asian countries provide NOTHING at all to their people while in west they have it way easy infact many would have kids to be able to apply for more food stamp and what not ... while in Sk and many other Asian countries you cant have any basic necessities and will have to be able to afford I can barely do my bills how will I raise a child ? So yeah it's tough
As the child of an educator and a parent of 3 adult children, the youngest still in university, education is just as important for South Africans. It just strikes me how opposite we were raised in SA and how it contributes to happiness and success without feeling shamed. Even if my youngest kid was outstanding in math and preferred to excel in music, I just bit my lip and zipped it. He's happy, studying and earning extremely well part-time. You can only do so much to encourage your children without crushing their spirits, health, or well-being! I feel so sincerely sorry for Korean kids. We have extremely strong cultural values, too, but kids need to grow up without feeling inadequate.
It is so sad that young people are avoiding marriage and children to experience freedom because it is a beautiful part of living! I honestly hope that the Korean government can do something to change the educational approach and living costs. Parents shouldn't buy their children a house. They should enjoy their retirement.
My hubby and I had very little when we got married, and it makes you appreciate what you've worked hard to achieve. It's no shame to start at the bottom. It's perfectly fine!
I lllllooovvveeeee that Koreans are more traditional and feel that it’s important to have children AFTER they are married 👏 👏 👏 한국 잘했어요!! 화이팅!! 🇰🇷
Exactly, and they should be proud of it. And I think this is a big reason why they are so low in crimes. Having a culture of baby mamas and baby daddies doesn’t help any society.
오늘도 재미있는 주제의 영상 감사합니다... Thanks for another great video!
Wow this was so informative.
I'm not Korean or from Korea but like I really don't wanna get married and am trying to figure out how to get out of getting married cuz its such a social norm in my country :( I know other friends who dont wanna get married to and I know friends who dont wanna get married but had to too.
Thank you. As always, very interesting. I like this format! I like how you approach different topics and how you handled this topic as well. How you name facts and also give your point of view, never makes a topic too heavy, but always gives it the right amount of sincerity it deserves.
This is Worldwide not proper pay. Can't afford a place to live, and you need both people working. And the way the world is at this moment hell no