I've gleaned from some books on writing that the repetitive use of past perfect 'had' in a flashback can be tiresome. They recommend that one should introduce each narrative paragraph with a 'had' sentence to let the reader know that what follows is part of a flashback and use the past tense for the paragraph's remainder. Returning to current time is best done by framing the flashback's finish by revisiting the words, sense, or object that triggered the flashback in the first place. Framing can also be done by a line space, with or without ellipses, or, if long, another chapter. Not all the books and articles from other sites were in agreement. Even the style books disagree on some points. Love your videos. Thank you so much for giving back.
I agree -- the past perfect might work in shorter flash backs that are more in the moment, but it can get clunky real quick. If it's very clear you've jumped in the past, you can use Simple IMO, especially if you're devoting a whole chapter to it and you've shifted POV to say a dead character. Of course it must really matter to the plot and be something the reader is really wondering about, if you do this. New writer here.
Always continue to improve! My high school Latin teacher, of all people, taught me "Progress, not perfection" It is humbling to know we can always improve--thank you for sharing!
@@AlyssaMatesic Not your day, Alyssa. While you are correct in stating that subject/verb nonagreement is a big problem in English grammar, what you show from 05:04 onward is actually a misplaced modifier. · · · PARTICIPLES are verbal adjectives, GERUNDS are verbal nouns. Do not confuse 'ing'-suffixed words. Most times they are NOT gerunds. · · · As you show, there is NO problem with S/V ['run'/'took'] agreement. BUDAPEST 2022 SEPTEMBER 3 9.1 PM
The redundancy issue is something I consciously work on, daily: Steve sat 'down' in the chair. Sally reached 'out' for the glass. I pulled out my 'own' wallet. Ughhh... the struggle is real.
use alternate verbs or idk...theres too many to list honestly. ... he produced his billfold as i saw his hand come into view, and then he handed me the money... she reached, barely grasping the cup i...got ready to pay, by the time i took the money out of my wallet.... after selecting his choice spot Steve carefully reached a seated position hmm ok some of those are terrible but if you change the aspect of the action doing something to the object youre focused in on you can just reorder the sequence of things but youre not reqlly altering any tenses in anu way like a fumble in a game you can see it from the ball perspective ANNND the ball landed on the turf or the rustling of the grass as the ball lands... idk if any of those are good im also a novice. but it would be my easy work around. if its all throughout the story it could be repeititve also. sometimes we dont need to be told the action occurin with some object by a subject we just imply time ordered events we know how the process goes and theres no illustration necessary, instead why u do u want to say hes getting his wallet outt of his pocket? because you want the reader to attain a mental image of this man getting the wallet, because its idk descriptive of the characters style are they smooth or clumsy ...is done in haste? maybe then u need to say it as a way to say something useful for painting the character in ours minds eye with small little details. im tryng to always get better at the poetic way of using the LEAST words possible to convey te most vivd or at least informative ways of illustration. i might be a horrible writer TBH BUT....if one were to start practicing this way of using our broader vocabulary and then try to introduce similar mechanisms into our IRL speech patterns i think many people will be pleasantly UN surprised to learn that others feel it to be a highly effective way to communicate verbally or that it can even make people hear us more clearly and to be more attentive or liste to stuff said in conversation because it piques the ear and mind and is somewhatj satisfying to hear a person use words poetically. talkig like a list reading robot is a surefire way to get people to ignore your speech but in writing it just depends on the frequency of the simple way to prase it maybe?? but also this, you use it to your qdvqntqge to illustrate that there is some element of rote, mndane, repeitive, habitual, or reflexive sense to the area of the story where that repetition occurs. maybe you could even trigger subconscious responses to diffeerent like idk feels to the plot like for this whole chapter you didnt use the repeat phrase so later when we pick up the repeat again it trggers a sort of memory of the feeling from the earilier chapterj where you introduce the repettive thing...idk. thats too complex for me to figure out tho most likely. Dont listen to me though because im not a writer and it was all kind off the cuff ideas and my ESL is good but i make lots of mistakes. some people like repetition tho, as well. i hink less is more applies very well here. see how crap a writer i am?
I am reminded of a scene from Mary Poppins when the old man says, "I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Brown." "Oh, really? What was the name of his other leg?"
I really needed this, though for less obvious reasons. A lot of times throughout my writing journey, I struggle with the possibility that my writing's actually improving as I continue to hone the craft (on a technical level). So seeing that I've consistently avoided most of these in recent projects (though I am guilty of "It" on several occasions, hahaha) lifted my confidence a bit and I don't feel as inadequate. I feel like I'm getting somewhere now, and the examples really made these mistakes clearer. Thanks for the video, Alyssa.
I'm so glad you notice the difference between your writing now and before! An important part of any journey is taking the time to self-reflect and see how far you've come. I hope you continue to grow in confidence as a writer!
Thank you for such consistently-helpful videos, Alyssa! I'm in the middle of planning out a low fantasy novel and the info you've provided has been pure gold.
@@AlyssaMatesic One cannot 'DISTILL UP', Alyssa. At 01:50, you said "… and you can distill it down and simplify it." Since 'down' is inherent in 'distill', your use of "DISTILL IT DOWN" amounts to a TAUTOLOGY. · · · Listening to your many videos, Alyssa, I have noticed that you often use other such tautologies, a sloppiness that many favor. BUDAPEST 2022 SEPTEMBER 3 7.7 PM
I think the subject-verb agreement and undefined "it" sentences are my biggest issue when writing. My WIP contains flashbacks so you just helped me out by pointing out the option of perfect past tense.
I was guilty of the 'It' route in sentencing, and once reviewed it was obvious that I was was unclear in a number of cases. The problem we have as writers is of course, we are writing the story so we know what we mean! The danger comes when we assume that everyone else reading that story also understands! I have revised my manuscript to remove the 'It' where possible, or further clarify what i am trying to say in the story. Great video. Thanks for this 'heads up', Alyssa. As usual, extremely useful
most people can barely select right tenses and in speech we do it commonly enough that its ignored. so you can make someone say it in story i any tense you want. that way youre not making a mistake the characer in story is and they have an accent or poor grammar/diction...lol
I just had a question about a niche, style genre related over-usage for words that would normally be trimmed. Some examples would be Lovecraft's infamy with adding an abundance of adjectives and flowery prose as a way to build tension or tone as well as horror. Another is the Cyberpunk genre a lot of the time. Gibsons style was to have a third person limited perspective that reacted to the environment constantly, often with slang or terminology that was not explained. Lastly, in much of the stuff by Cormac McCarthy he just doesn't hold back on limiting the size of those sentences whatsoever if he wants to keep going. Point is, when you're in a place where you'd usually cut down, but the conventions of the mood, genre, or style, not only permits but has as definitive trait of that genre, how can you tell what works or not at all before the readers even come in? I don't know if I can even describe it more clear, lol.
Someone once said that when a man appears in court pro se, he has a fool for a client and an idiot for a lawyer. I feel a little like that when it comes to editing my own work.
So great to see someone talking about redundancy in *any* form! I see all kinds of redundancy even in traditionally published books and it drives me bonkers, but not enough craft people talk about it. For me it's one of, if not possibly THE, biggest difference between amateurish and solid writing (no matter where I happen to find it). And it's such an easy fix once you can recognize the weakness. Thank you!
I think it is also a personal preference thing. Controlled use of redundancy and repetition makes the sentences swing better. (From the examples she gave, I preferred the unfixed one.) But... I also enjoy Kalevala meter style poetry and repetition is integral part of it.
Yep guilty of it too. I wrote few times in my entire novel 'descending down the stairs'. cant believe it i missed these until prowritingaid pointed it out for me.
This was really helpful. Can you devote a few minutes to the who said what problem? When you write a conversation between two or more people, when do you need to give the name of the speaker?
@Allysa Matesic I've found your video extremely helpful as I've only recently gotten into writing with a goal of publication. I wonder if you could you a video on violence in younger reader books? My stories and style tend to be aimed at readers in the 9-14 age group. My current title has violence, including blood. While not gratuitous, this is a new foray for me and I worry it may be off putting to some parents or readers. My son is 11 and I know HE is ok with it but not all children are raised the same.
Thanks for this video. I need to know,natives wouldn't make much grammar mistakes in English literature writing but non natives will make lots of mistakes,while writing in English language. How many mistakes can be edited by editors during publishing?
I don't have a number per say! But as long as your story is still understandable, with the mistakes not taking away from the story being told, a copy editor and proofreader can catch grammar mistakes and typos during the publishing process.
@@AlyssaMatesic I just love how it pulls you in, like a couple have a good day and then its all "the day with Peter was magical, it was also the last time she would see him alive." I'm immediately like "ohhhhh shit, what happens to Peter?! I've gotta start this next chapter NOW!"
If you're looking for a traditional publisher, there are many small publishing houses that specialize in poetry! The Big Five imprints do publish some poetry as well.
I have to write a scholarship essay and in that essay I've to write why I want to write a story. Tbh i love writing and want others to read it and explore the mysteries with my characters but it won't be enough been who Will write the scholarship want it. I want your creative tips for it.
Hello, Alyssa! I loved the video and I have a quick question. As we write flashbacks, can we keep the tense the same, but put them in different chapters? For instance, can a couple chapters play the role of flashbacks?
Yes, that's another way of demarcating the flashback scenes--by having the format of the novel denote when the narrative is in the past. Good question!
Thank you for these tips! Can sentences like "Or so he thought" or "God only knew how wrong he was" at the end of a chapter be considered heavy-handed foreshadowings? Or just small hints?
I would consider them as obvious foreshadowing, as they directly mention that what is about to happen in the next chapter will affect what happened in the previous one. Thanks for commenting!
Wrote a bulky flashback scene and my dad said to change it to present cos the “hads” made it not read well, he’s very good with words so I listened. I didn’t feel it was right but now I’m confused cos your saying do the opposite 😵💫
She has lots of good advice, but she is incorrect about this. Most writers use “had” maybe once at the top of the flashback, then switch to regular past tense so it is readable :)
Minute 8: 52 "The last writing mistake I want to go over today is an undefined 'it.' " In the first sentence to A TALES OF TWO CITIES by Charles Dickens we find an undefined "it." This first sentence is: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom,it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope,it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way-in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. I don't know what "it" is in spite of all of these words used to describe "it."
Seriously? It's always been clear to me that the "it" is "the period" -- much like the present -- which the writer is going to tell me about. I think it's a great opening. But that's strictly my personal opinion. I may write like the dickens, but I don;t write like Dickens. :)
It sounds more like a lack in reading comprehension that’d be improved with continued exploring of literature. Which sounds harsh, but is honestly true. The sentence speaks for itself.
I prefer the very next sentence in A TALES OF TWO CITIES which is: "There were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a plain face, on the throne of England; there were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a fair face, on the throne of France. " A reader of this sentence will ask what king and what queen? This is a comparison of the rulers of both England and France. A reader will wonder if a judgement is being made here where the queen of England is described as having a "plain" face while the queen of France is described as having a "fair" face. Is the queen of France more "fair" in her rule of her people than the queen of England? Is the queen of England a ruler who makes "plain" or unimaginative rulings over her people? Both kings are described as having "large" jaws. Are all kings the same? This sentence is specific to this book. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." and the rest of this very long sentence does not make me as a reader want to read this book. Even for the time period, this sentence is too long. The second sentence about the kings and queens of England and France makes me want to read the book. I wonder what Alyssa Matesic, the creator of this video, would advise a writer about really long sentences.
Good tips. It's important to be careful with any pronoun. He and she can be confusing when there are several people in the scene, and when an author uses the non-gendered singular "they", particular care has to be taken.
I've gleaned from some books on writing that the repetitive use of past perfect 'had' in a flashback can be tiresome. They recommend that one should introduce each narrative paragraph with a 'had' sentence to let the reader know that what follows is part of a flashback and use the past tense for the paragraph's remainder. Returning to current time is best done by framing the flashback's finish by revisiting the words, sense, or object that triggered the flashback in the first place.
Framing can also be done by a line space, with or without ellipses, or, if long, another chapter. Not all the books and articles from other sites were in agreement. Even the style books disagree on some points.
Love your videos. Thank you so much for giving back.
i mean that seems like it makes a lot of sense, intuitively, good to know.
I agree -- the past perfect might work in shorter flash backs that are more in the moment, but it can get clunky real quick. If it's very clear you've jumped in the past, you can use Simple IMO, especially if you're devoting a whole chapter to it and you've shifted POV to say a dead character. Of course it must really matter to the plot and be something the reader is really wondering about, if you do this. New writer here.
Always continue to improve! My high school Latin teacher, of all people, taught me "Progress, not perfection" It is humbling to know we can always improve--thank you for sharing!
Well said!
@@AlyssaMatesic Not your day, Alyssa. While you are correct in stating
that subject/verb nonagreement is a big problem in English grammar,
what you show from 05:04 onward is actually a misplaced modifier.
· · · PARTICIPLES are verbal adjectives, GERUNDS are verbal nouns.
Do not confuse 'ing'-suffixed words. Most times they are NOT gerunds.
· · · As you show, there is NO problem with S/V ['run'/'took'] agreement.
BUDAPEST
2022 SEPTEMBER 3
9.1 PM
@@magyarkivan6723 pedantry is the mark of amateurs.
The redundancy issue is something I consciously work on, daily: Steve sat 'down' in the chair. Sally reached 'out' for the glass. I pulled out my 'own' wallet. Ughhh... the struggle is real.
It's such a prevalent issue because it's so sneaky! 😅
If you need help you just contact Albert from promotional ghostwriter venture
use alternate verbs or idk...theres too many to list honestly.
... he produced his billfold as i saw his hand come into view, and then he handed me the money...
she reached, barely grasping the cup
i...got ready to pay, by the time i took the money out of my wallet....
after selecting his choice spot Steve carefully reached a seated position
hmm ok some of those are terrible but if you change the aspect of the action doing something to the object youre focused in on you can just reorder the sequence of things but youre not reqlly altering any tenses in anu way
like a fumble in a game you can see it from the ball perspective
ANNND the ball landed on the turf
or the rustling of the grass as the ball lands...
idk if any of those are good im also a novice. but it would be my easy work around. if its all throughout the story it could be repeititve also. sometimes we dont need to be told the action occurin with some object by a subject we just imply time ordered events we know how the process goes and theres no illustration necessary, instead why u do u want to say hes getting his wallet outt of his pocket? because you want the reader to attain a mental image of this man getting the wallet, because its idk descriptive of the characters style are they smooth or clumsy ...is done in haste? maybe then u need to say it as a way to say something useful for painting the character in ours minds eye with small little details. im tryng to always get better at the poetic way of using the LEAST words possible to convey te most vivd or at least informative ways of illustration. i might be a horrible writer TBH BUT....if one were to start practicing this way of using our broader vocabulary and then try to introduce similar mechanisms into our IRL speech patterns i think many people will be pleasantly UN surprised to learn that others feel it to be a highly effective way to communicate verbally or that it can even make people hear us more clearly and to be more attentive or liste to stuff said in conversation because it piques the ear and mind and is somewhatj satisfying to hear a person use words poetically. talkig like a list reading robot is a surefire way to get people to ignore your speech but in writing it just depends on the frequency of the simple way to prase it maybe?? but also this, you use it to your qdvqntqge to illustrate that there is some element of rote, mndane, repeitive, habitual, or reflexive sense to the area of the story where that repetition occurs. maybe you could even trigger subconscious responses to diffeerent like idk feels to the plot like for this whole chapter you didnt use the repeat phrase so later when we pick up the repeat again it trggers a sort of memory of the feeling from the earilier chapterj where you introduce the repettive thing...idk. thats too complex for me to figure out tho most likely. Dont listen to me though because im not a writer and it was all kind off the cuff ideas and my ESL is good but i make lots of mistakes. some people like repetition tho, as well.
i hink less is more applies very well here. see how crap a writer i am?
I am reminded of a scene from Mary Poppins when the old man says, "I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Brown." "Oh, really? What was the name of his other leg?"
I’m so glad you used examples…tremendous help! Thanks.
I'm glad they helped!
I really needed this, though for less obvious reasons. A lot of times throughout my writing journey, I struggle with the possibility that my writing's actually improving as I continue to hone the craft (on a technical level). So seeing that I've consistently avoided most of these in recent projects (though I am guilty of "It" on several occasions, hahaha) lifted my confidence a bit and I don't feel as inadequate. I feel like I'm getting somewhere now, and the examples really made these mistakes clearer. Thanks for the video, Alyssa.
I'm so glad you notice the difference between your writing now and before! An important part of any journey is taking the time to self-reflect and see how far you've come. I hope you continue to grow in confidence as a writer!
Thank you for such consistently-helpful videos, Alyssa! I'm in the middle of planning out a low fantasy novel and the info you've provided has been pure gold.
I'm so glad! Best of luck with your fantasy novel!
@@AlyssaMatesic One cannot 'DISTILL UP', Alyssa. At 01:50, you said
"… and you can distill it down and simplify it." Since 'down' is inherent
in 'distill', your use of "DISTILL IT DOWN" amounts to a TAUTOLOGY.
· · · Listening to your many videos, Alyssa, I have noticed that you
often use other such tautologies, a sloppiness that many favor.
BUDAPEST
2022 SEPTEMBER 3
7.7 PM
As an amateur writer, I can relate to all you said!! Thank you
Great clarification about grammar, using past perfect tense in the flashback portions of the story, and past tense for the bulk of the story.
I think the subject-verb agreement and undefined "it" sentences are my biggest issue when writing.
My WIP contains flashbacks so you just helped me out by pointing out the option of perfect past tense.
Thank you so much, Alyssa! Your videos are the most helpful
This is the kind of stuff I need help with. I often overlook it
Using transitive verbs without a direct object is one of my peeves. I don't raise. I rise.
Yes, this is another technical mistake to watch out for!
I'm guilty of making all those mistakes :) Thanks to your videos, I end up catching them, and try correcting them. .Thanks Alyssa.
I'm glad you caught them!
Gotto fix that undefined it. Thanks a lot. I've been following since a few months ago, very helpful videos.
Alyssa, you’re killing it with these videos!
Thank you! 😄
Great video...
Please, keep making more like this one.
I was guilty of the 'It' route in sentencing, and once reviewed it was obvious that I was was unclear in a number of cases. The problem we have as writers is of course, we are writing the story so we know what we mean! The danger comes when we assume that everyone else reading that story also understands! I have revised my manuscript to remove the 'It' where possible, or further clarify what i am trying to say in the story.
Great video. Thanks for this 'heads up', Alyssa. As usual, extremely useful
Yes, that's a great perspective to have on writing 'it's! Thank you for sharing!
most people can barely select right tenses and in speech we do it commonly enough that its ignored. so you can make someone say it in story i any tense you want. that way youre not making a mistake the characer in story is and they have an accent or poor grammar/diction...lol
Omg this is such good info. Thank you for the excellent explanation of past perfect.
I read this in a Stephen King novel, “she smiled uglily.”
I just had a question about a niche, style genre related over-usage for words that would normally be trimmed. Some examples would be Lovecraft's infamy with adding an abundance of adjectives and flowery prose as a way to build tension or tone as well as horror. Another is the Cyberpunk genre a lot of the time. Gibsons style was to have a third person limited perspective that reacted to the environment constantly, often with slang or terminology that was not explained. Lastly, in much of the stuff by Cormac McCarthy he just doesn't hold back on limiting the size of those sentences whatsoever if he wants to keep going. Point is, when you're in a place where you'd usually cut down, but the conventions of the mood, genre, or style, not only permits but has as definitive trait of that genre, how can you tell what works or not at all before the readers even come in? I don't know if I can even describe it more clear, lol.
Someone once said that when a man appears in court pro se, he has a fool for a client and an idiot for a lawyer.
I feel a little like that when it comes to editing my own work.
IT always makes me toss and turn when I try to sleep…
So great to see someone talking about redundancy in *any* form! I see all kinds of redundancy even in traditionally published books and it drives me bonkers, but not enough craft people talk about it. For me it's one of, if not possibly THE, biggest difference between amateurish and solid writing (no matter where I happen to find it). And it's such an easy fix once you can recognize the weakness. Thank you!
I think it is also a personal preference thing. Controlled use of redundancy and repetition makes the sentences swing better. (From the examples she gave, I preferred the unfixed one.)
But... I also enjoy Kalevala meter style poetry and repetition is integral part of it.
Very helpful, thank you! I've published two non-fictions the traditional route. This is my first Mid-grade fiction and it's new territory for me.
Glad it was helpful! I wish you the best with your middle grade novel!
Thank you.
Thanks for these tips!
Yep guilty of it too. I wrote few times in my entire novel 'descending down the stairs'. cant believe it i missed these until prowritingaid pointed it out for me.
Those repeated phrases are sneaky! 😂
@@AlyssaMatesic Too sneaky. Then my editor pointed some repeated ones as well. Thankfully all fixed.
Thanks again.
"It puts the lotion on its skin..."
Seems pretty clear to me.
This was really helpful. Can you devote a few minutes to the who said what problem? When you write a conversation between two or more people, when do you need to give the name of the speaker?
I go over that issues in this video about dialogue mistakes here!: th-cam.com/video/YWJuS-Noc9A/w-d-xo.html
OMG you have a puppy!
I would revise it even further to "The stars were visible in the night sky," as anyone who knows what sky is knows it is above.
Good point!
@Allysa Matesic I've found your video extremely helpful as I've only recently gotten into writing with a goal of publication.
I wonder if you could you a video on violence in younger reader books? My stories and style tend to be aimed at readers in the 9-14 age group. My current title has violence, including blood. While not gratuitous, this is a new foray for me and I worry it may be off putting to some parents or readers. My son is 11 and I know HE is ok with it but not all children are raised the same.
I'm on a last pass through edit to look for just these errors. Sadly, there are more than I want to admit! 😂
It's great that you're catching them! Good luck with your final edits!
Above could go too. The stars are almost always above.
Michael Crichton is my favorite author but this book “Dragon Teeth” has a ton of that unnecessary foreshadowing. I agree that doesn’t work.
Thanks for this video.
I need to know,natives wouldn't make much grammar mistakes in English literature writing but non natives will make lots of mistakes,while writing in English language.
How many mistakes can be edited by editors during publishing?
I don't have a number per say! But as long as your story is still understandable, with the mistakes not taking away from the story being told, a copy editor and proofreader can catch grammar mistakes and typos during the publishing process.
Man I totally disagree with her dislike for "heavy handed forshadowing" i flippen love a little hook like that at the end of a chapter
That's fair! Although I will say, a little hook is different from a heavy handed hook 😊
@@AlyssaMatesic I just love how it pulls you in, like a couple have a good day and then its all "the day with Peter was magical, it was also the last time she would see him alive." I'm immediately like "ohhhhh shit, what happens to Peter?! I've gotta start this next chapter NOW!"
I love your videos , I am a self published author looking for a publisher for my poetry book. Any advice ?
Have you contacted Albert yet? He helped me with my book publishing
If you're looking for a traditional publisher, there are many small publishing houses that specialize in poetry! The Big Five imprints do publish some poetry as well.
@@AlyssaMatesic thank you
about the first example: Above, the stars were visible.....
Is the word Above necessary? I mean, the stars and sky are above
6:06 is that a misplaced modifier? damn middle school english flashbacks
I have to write a scholarship essay and in that essay I've to write why I want to write a story.
Tbh i love writing and want others to read it and explore the mysteries with my characters but it won't be enough been who Will write the scholarship want it.
I want your creative tips for it.
Hello, Alyssa! I loved the video and I have a quick question. As we write flashbacks, can we keep the tense the same, but put them in different chapters? For instance, can a couple chapters play the role of flashbacks?
Yes, that's another way of demarcating the flashback scenes--by having the format of the novel denote when the narrative is in the past. Good question!
Thank you for these tips! Can sentences like "Or so he thought" or "God only knew how wrong he was" at the end of a chapter be considered heavy-handed foreshadowings? Or just small hints?
I would consider them as obvious foreshadowing, as they directly mention that what is about to happen in the next chapter will affect what happened in the previous one. Thanks for commenting!
This is a doggo appreciation comment.
Wrote a bulky flashback scene and my dad said to change it to present cos the “hads” made it not read well, he’s very good with words so I listened. I didn’t feel it was right but now I’m confused cos your saying do the opposite 😵💫
She has lots of good advice, but she is incorrect about this. Most writers use “had” maybe once at the top of the flashback, then switch to regular past tense so it is readable :)
@@bfreecity ok interesting thanks for the input 🙏🏼
Minute 8: 52 "The last writing mistake I want to go over today is an undefined 'it.' "
In the first sentence to A TALES OF TWO CITIES by Charles Dickens we find an undefined "it." This first sentence is:
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom,it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope,it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way-in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
I don't know what "it" is in spite of all of these words used to describe "it."
Actually, I think that is an example of a dummy subject, rather than an undefined it.
Seriously? It's always been clear to me that the "it" is "the period" -- much like the present -- which the writer is going to tell me about. I think it's a great opening. But that's strictly my personal opinion. I may write like the dickens, but I don;t write like Dickens. :)
It sounds more like a lack in reading comprehension that’d be improved with continued exploring of literature. Which sounds harsh, but is honestly true. The sentence speaks for itself.
The sentence even explicitly states what the ‘it’ is after the em-dash. It’s referring to ‘the period’.
I prefer the very next sentence in A TALES OF TWO CITIES which is:
"There were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a plain face, on the throne of England; there were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a fair face, on the throne of France. "
A reader of this sentence will ask what king and what queen? This is a comparison of the rulers of both England and France. A reader will wonder if a judgement is being made here where the queen of England is described as having a "plain" face while the queen of France is described as having a "fair" face. Is the queen of France more "fair" in her rule of her people than the queen of England? Is the queen of England a ruler who makes "plain" or unimaginative rulings over her people? Both kings are described as having "large" jaws. Are all kings the same? This sentence is specific to this book. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." and the rest of this very long sentence does not make me as a reader want to read this book. Even for the time period, this sentence is too long. The second sentence about the kings and queens of England and France makes me want to read the book. I wonder what Alyssa Matesic, the creator of this video, would advise a writer about really long sentences.
Yes. : )
Good tips. It's important to be careful with any pronoun. He and she can be confusing when there are several people in the scene, and when an author uses the non-gendered singular "they", particular care has to be taken.
Yes, great clarification! Thanks for sharing :)