not the editor who only uses 196i resolution clips, they need to upgrade to better software. There is better open source software than whatever free version of software they are using
Plot twist: Dave's dog is barking at the guy who lives in the attic, but "the attic" is what Dave calls the rest of Simon's house that exists above the basement.
My son is a practical joker. He was house sitting for a friend. He went to a flea market and bought 2 garbage bags full of old baby dolls. Some have all their parts, but some don't. He spent the entire week his friend was gone hiding dolls everywhere he could think of. They're in the attic, the basement, the ductwork, the toilet tank, and behind appliances. He put one in the driver seat of an old car that hasn't been moved in years and hid another one in the trunk. There's even one in the well pump enclosure. There's like twenty dolls, and they're hidden everywhere. This happened years ago. They guy still calls my son every once in a while to chew him out because he found another one. There's no doubt in my mind that a future owner will still be finding dolls.
Okay I might be a little more harmless but I have always brought *something* to hide while house sitting (its usually rubber ducks or glow in the dark stars, sometimes dice or plastic easter eggs)
When we were cleaning out my grandmother's house to sell it I found 12 squirrel tails in the garage. Her big ass Siamese cat had been keeping kill trophies in there.
Or it was where the cat was bringing the squirrels to eat them without the risk of their catch being stolen! My mom's cat does this, to the ditch in front of the neighbour's house 😅
So before I was born my mom had a cat and it hated me, like not even be in the same room hated me. One Christmas when i was 6 the cat seemed usually tolerant of my presence and even sat across the couch from me. My naive self thought that maybe due to Christmas magic the cat didn't hate me and we could be friends, that was until I reached out to pet it. It bit my hand, wrapping it front paws around my wrist and started raking its hind paws, and claws, down my arm. Years later long after the cat had died, I asked my mom what was up with the cat. Apparently when I was like a year and half old I saw someone on tv swat at a cat with a rolled up newspaper, and when my mom was out of the room I cornered the cat and started beating the snot out of it with a newspaper. According to my mom the cat just sat there and took it becasue it knew better, and I believe her becasue when I was 5 a dog bit my face, and my mom showed up at the dogs owners house the next day and stabbed it to death so....yea. Also I didn't do anything to the dog, and the dog probably didn't mean to hurt me. I was sitting on the floor eating a sandwich and when I brought the sandwich to my mouth to take a bite the dog fallowed it. I needed a few stitches and the doctor said if the bite had been a millimeter over I would have lost an eye, which I think was a contributing factor to my moms reaction.
My friend Tricia Riggs was found after 15 years missing when her husband (who killed her and told their kids she'd abandoned them) sold the house and the new owner decided to do some work on the garden's retaining walls. He's in jail now. [ETA: To be clear, I mean the husband is in jail, not the new homeowner. Talking about this still makes me angry and that means I write pronoun confusions].
I have a very sensitive sense of smell. As a child, we had two cats who used to hide dead animals around the house, and I was the designated "death smeller" and would have to crawl around looking for the rotting corpse. My parents literally rang me a few months ago to come find whatever dead thing was hidden in their house. I'm an adult.
Me too! I pick colognes and perfumes out by circling the counters until I track one down to the source…it’s not hard. I had the first Covid and couldn’t smell anything for 6 months…felt like I was in a fishbowl
I am the finder of rotting oranges. It's a very useful talent for being so specific. Just a few days ago, I walked into my best friend's apartment and the first thing I told her was she needed to check her oranges because at least one was bad. She opted to just have the kids take the whole box of oranges and apples out to the trash since no one was eating them anyway or they would've noticed before I smelled it. Lol
I know this terrible superpower all too well. One time, I could smell a rotting animal AT LEAST a week before the rest of my coworkers. I complained about it every 30 minutes for days, driving all of them crazy, before the boss finally smelled it and called maintenance.
5:24 Listening to Simon puzzle over the "cats own people" joke had me on the edge of my seat. My fuzzy overlord used the opportunity to jump onto my seat.
I like the script as always, Dave, and I want to thank you for including the bit at the end from Danny. His advice for what to do before moving house assures me that he genuinely told it to you. I’ve been wondering about where he’s been, but I can recognize that warped, witty sense of humor anywhere.
We used to get bats and squirrels in our attic. The squirrels would chew a way in. I don't know why. Squirrel reasons? The bats would find the holes and think the place was a nice little cave to roost in, but they were sometimes unable to find their way back out. Anyway, one day my uncle was visiting and we had to help one of those bats get back outside. I guess we left the attic open because later that night our almost entirely black cat was walking on top of the ceiling tiles over my uncle's bed. We know this because the tiles didn't hold and dropped that very surprised black cat on my sleeping uncle in the middle of the night! We had a good laugh after everyone calmed down, but I didn't think he ever slept in that room again. The cat was fine, btw.
We accidentally left one of our snake tanks open after feeding them and a pink and yellow California King snake got out and we couldn’t find him for four months. Then at Christmas break I got a new black kitten which quickly got lost in the house. So we had a missing snake and a missing kitten for 3 hours. Then my brother came home from University for Christmas and found them both within an hour!! They were both fine and the snake went back in his tank after months of freedom under the living room carpet.
@@jamesn0va I'm gonna have to agree 😅. Like, if a snake goes missing, that is something you NEED to contact a professional about immediately. What if the snake eats someone else's pets, nevermind the little kitten that was purchased as its replacement only THREE MONTHS prior. Alls well that ends well, but geez...
There’s home renovation videos online where they leave messages, plastic skeletons, or other items behind walls for the next person to discover when the place ever gets renovated again. Also, pretty sure the last place I lived had a cat living in the attic. I’d hear galloping noises in my ceiling at various times of the day. The attic was open to the garage, so the cat wasn’t stuck up there. Probably just busy chasing mice, which we had a problem with. A cat running on drywall is quite the sound when laying in bed underneath it.
Could have been a raccoon or squirrels, too. Went on vacation and came home to a family of critters in the attic crawlspace, that wasn't noticeable until a few weeks after we got home. The scritches in the ceiling were very unsettling.
Here's something minorly bizarre I found after moving in. The previous owner put together a makeshift bidet in the master bathroom. How do you do that? Well, there was a kitchen sink sprayer attached directly to the water supply line for the toilet just laying there on the ground. There were lots of other DIY jobs of a similar caliber around too, but that one stuck out.
Was the previous owner a Finn? Those hand showers are pretty basic here, it usually has small attachment next to the sink, rather than just laying on the floor. We rarely have them in the kitchen, short of restaurants and more industrial size kitchens.
Uhhh thats genius??? I mean it costs like 50 cents for a lil hook you could screw on the wall to hang it from.... Also seems like it would work great comsidering you can easily spray all over. As long as the temperature and pressure of the water are set well, then i dont really see the issue here....
That’s how foreclosure auctions in the U.S. (or at least in Maryland, where I live). The auction company doesn’t have access to the inside of the house. No one can access it until it’s sold. I’ve bought a few properties that way, and I’ve found something really gross in one.
@@insertianameia2224 - the previous owners let their adult son live with them. He had a drug problem. Instead of going downstairs to use the bathroom, he just went in his bedroom. For years. Probably a decade’s worth of feces and urine. It was pretty foul. But far easier to get rid of than I expected. But GROSS.
My university had an incident of a previous tenant living in an off-campus house. Apparently, there was a locked door that the current tenants assumed contained the furnace and whatnot yet was actually a bedroom that someone was still living in.
1. Years ago, my mom & step-dad bought his family's house from his grandmother. When we were redecorating the master bedroom, we found "??? is a whore" written in red lipstick under the wallpaper. 2. In the late 90s, my parents started purchasing silver & gold to prepare for Y2K. They kept it in the garage in a box listed "heavy metal parts." 3. An old friend used to work clearing out houses that were repossessed by the bank. He got to keep anything left behind. Every once in a while, he gave me something interesting that he'd found. Thank you for another interesting episode!
I moved into a place that was basically a time capsule to the mid 70s. The wall next to the toilet was also bleached to the point of the coloring being removed from the wallpaper, much higher up than incidental spray would hit. Given the immaculate condition of the rest of the place, I try to not think about the fact that the guy who lived there was probably dead on the toilet for a while. During a kitchen remodel in another house, we had planned to hide some toys in a dead space between cupboards, and maybe paint "GET OUT" on the wall in dark red/brown paint, but that plan fell through.
The funny thing about the pentagram was that it was actually a symbol embraced by Christianity at one point in time. I think it was a symbol associated with Sir Galahad, the most holy of Arthur’s knights, supposedly the one to find the Holy Graiil and ascend into heaven. Supposedly the five points on the star represented five virtues of a good knight or something. Anyways…the shock and awe of a pentagram, even if it were inverted and not upright, is nonsense. Wiccans may encase it in a circle and call it love and light and basically be a less organized form f Catholicism, but it’s just a five pointed star and only means what you want it to mean. People need to chill out. Simon is bang on on this one.
That’s a pentacle, which is a star; a pentagram is upside down, and is intended to represent the horns of the beast. Same shape, but being upside-down represents the “anti” version of the star/pentacle.
You probably mean the "Seal of Salomon". That's what the pentagrams in the flags of Marocco and Ethopia are supposed to represent. A Drudenfuß, DRudenstern or Pentagram (doesn't matter which direction) can be found in a lot of flags, on old buildings in Germany or even in old churches. It was a protective symbol against demons. The free masons also used it with the points of the stars having specific meanings. It's only since the 19th century or so that the inverse pentagram is linked to occultism and viewed as a symbol for the d*vil. Back then there was a big spiritual movement with lots of people delving into all kinds of spiritualism. Levi, Crowley and so on. And then you had LaVey and his special church. Would make a really nice and long topic for "Into the Shadows".
Fwiw, the pentagram isn't a common symbol in the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. There's some obscure references to some temple design, but it isn't widely used or even known among the members
Was probably referring to the "star of David". (it's almost like a lot of it used to have original meanings, that were then swept under the rug during the Church's quest to wipe out "pagan" religions and cultures...just as they did with a certain story of a virgin birth used to explain the spring/winter solstices)
@@curtis3014 the nauvoo Temple had sun and moon stones like the salt lake Temple, but it had both 5 pointed stars (pentagrams) and 6 pointed stars. Like I said it's an extremely obscure reference that most members don't know about.
A friend of mine once moved into an old Victorian house, opened a cupboard and found a pentagram drawn on it with a single candle in the centre. I'm 99% sure it was prank, but she was convinced her house was haunted after that.
Home improvement is just territorialism. "When you move into your new place, take the idiot's wallpaper down, then write on the wall in blood red paint 'I WILL KILL AGAIN.' Wait for it to to dry. And then put your wallpaper up. You never get to see the punchline to this little practical joke but you do get a very warm feeling when you hand the keys over." - Chris Addison.
When I helped my friend and his family move out of his home, we put a sh*t load of glitter in the ceiling aircon vents and on top of any ceiling fan blades we came across. The people that bought the house were being really really rude and horrible - I imagine they’re still getting glitter out of things (including themselves) to this day…
Devious ! I would tell the new owners : " I liked the place, but I always thought there was something telling me to take down the wall paper and restore it to it's former glory" . Leave it at that... ...then change your ph#... lol ... head games are fun !
@@user-jd4xo7gn7h we had our house built from the ground up. We added in 2 secrets that they will only find if they renovate. 1 is a copy of the blueprints of the house and a photo album of the houses construction. The other is box full of marbles. Just to confuse them.
Leaving stuff or messages in houses for people to find later is fun. In my area there's at least 5,000 electrical junction box covers with "Epstein didn't kill himself" written on the inside.
A friend in college moved into an apartment near campus. His neighbor invited him over to show him what had been found in his apartment. It was a human skull, still with dirt on it. There was a large cemetery across the street. There was a little blip in the newspaper about the find, but I never heard if the police figured out where the skull came from and who it was.
Our house is 125 years old. On the attic (which is huge because it used to be a hay loft), there is a filing cabinet built into a wall. When we first bought the place my nephew was up there and found an old newspaper clipping stuffed in the back of the filing cab. The article was about local unsolved murders from the 1980s and we got a little bugged out. My wife had the grand idea of flipping it over and there was another article, perfectly fit on the back side of the page, about one of the former owner's kids being part of a basketball tourney. If she hadn't flipped that, we might still be investigating lol
My friend renovated her house (from the 30s or 40s) after bad (marriage and) divorce and found newspapers used as insulation in the walls, instead of sawdust or modern fiberglass. They were mostly intact, nicely worn out and yellowed, the ads were delightful, the language slightly out of fashion, pictures obviously old and fuzzy, plus its simply a snapshot of the times when the house was built and quite literally part of it. So, she decided to use it as wallpaper in the 2 small upstairs bedrooms, parts of hall and bathroom. It looks fab to me, Ive spent hours of reading those walls, but her younger son isnt really sold; he happened to get huge in memoriam-section right next to his bed, his day starts and ends with reminder mortality and long dead peeps.. He isnt amused.
@@janemiettinen5176 I have a friend that renovated an old barn years ago. Added on stables for his wife's horses and built a tack room in the barn. In that area, one of the original wooden beams in the wall had initials carved into it, from the original builders. He made a point of leaving that part of that beam exposed to preserve that bit of history.
I don't know why but one of my favorite TV moments from when I was a kid was that Geraldo special with Capone's vault, he spent the whole 2 hour show hyping up what might be in it and the look on his face when he realizes it's empty is still burned into my brain lol
Talking about not getting to enjoy the outcome of your joke reminds me of one xmas when I was in my teens. I got a job as a packer at a clothes warehouse, had an order for a single shirt and packed that sucker into increasingly large packages until I was eventually sending a large order box (about 90x90x45inch). I know it's a waste, but still chuckle at the thought of someone receiving that and being confused as Hell, then becoming increasingly frustrated as they open box after box after box, and bag after bag... Just to find the crappy Supreme shirt! I think it was 12 bags and 4 boxes in the end, plus bubble wrap where needed
My mom found plastic baggies with coins and small bullions of silver and gold as well as an old .22 Luger. When they start tearing down walls after a flood.
6:33 I have sniffed out and disposed of 2 dead rats in closets one when I was a kid in school and the other as an adult at work. Because spraying air freshener just makes it worse.
@@paulwright110I have a real skeleton that was used in my school that I rescued from the trash 😂 He has two left feet and the wires that hold him together are barely hanging on but I love him
Not a bizarre find but I found 2000 euros in cash in an envelope behind a gas heater in a motorhome I got, I only found it because I needed to replace a gas fitting, was well happy with that find. Edit: 7:30 exactly what the previous owner had done, they had moved across the world by the time I found it, we had a great xmas that year.
Not on the same scale, but a friend of mine had a camper. One time while camping, she decided to stash a $100 bill and her credit card in “a safe place”. It was 7 years before someone was cleaning out a drawer and found them in a package of zip lock sandwich bags. So it’s quite possible that something of the same sort happened in your case.
There's a conspiracy theory that Simon has a bunch of clones to help host channels, too many got burned out so Daven was released from the basement (if he was even there and isnt one of the reptilians trying to conquer Earth as i suspect).
@@KendlickLama if he just reads a script or tells prompt written by someone else as I just found out that he does. If he has one writer for each TH-cam channel or even multiple writers he could theoretically do one post every half hour and if he only did half a days work once a week he could still have 8 channels and that sounds about correct for so many channels I have seen him on. All he does is read the script or tells prompt. Some people are greedy.
So on the plus side, having a stray python would have solved the kitten problem. On the minus side, if a pentagram has been used for a summoning, breaking the lines might have released whatever it had contained. Then a python might be the least of your problems. And we all know when what Simon will be leaving behind when he moves out.
We renovated the bathroom when we moved into our house. Nothing wierd was found. However, there was the small indent from an old medicine cabinet. A mirror now covers it. But before we placed the mirror over the indent, I made sure to put some creepy things in there for the next owner to find. >:D
I agree with Danny, that sounds like a great prank and I do not need to see their reactions to appreciate the spectrum of confusion to terror that opening those safes would cause. Especially since it would start out as a spectrum of anticipation to excitement bwaha.
That last story is why you should ALWAYS change all your exterior locks when you buy a new home. You never know who may have a key to the old locks. Also, we hid a tiny Lego construction man in our pantry wall when we renovated our apartment. May he never see the light of day again.
When my unit was being releived in Kuwait, we put all our alarm clocks into every nook, cranny and air vent. They were set to go off at about 3 minute intervals. The barracks was an open bay, and about 100 troops lived in it. The alarms started at around 2 am, and continued for hours.
A family member of mine bought a huge house in the Castro district of San Francisco. On the top floor they found a room with a huge pentagram burned into the floor and crazy nonsense writing on the walls. The door to the room would only lock from the outside. The old owners were pot growing hippies who said "oh yeah we used to party a lot".
Almost as bad as the house across the woods from us that was infested with brown recluses. Simon actually mentioned it on a video of his in the past. I forget which one, but it was weird to hear it brought up again. The poor people that bought the (Not cheap) house had a 2-3 year lawsuit to deal with in which they ended up needing to pay for two houses for much longer than they should have just so they had a place to live.
When I was a baby in 1967 our house burnt to the ground (bad wires) parents bought and had a old farm house moved to our old houses spot. Years later I was 15 and we turned the attic into bedrooms for us kids 5 in all. In the attic was a coffin with remains. The previous owners husband. Still have no idea why it was there and for all them years. Parents had him buried besides his wife where there was a head stone for him already. Weird stuff always happened and stuff disappeared a lot until he was placed to rest.
The weirdest thing left from previous tenants was a big-ass dead tree (trunk, thick branches and even some roots) in the middle of a room. According to the landlord, someone dragged in a chopped down tree while drunk, and it stayed because it's a friggin' mistery how, as it does not fit through any door or window. Not even going to touch on the mysterious topic of getting it up the narrow winding stairs... the branches were too thick to bend even while fresh. Tensnts mostly used it as a coathanger and conversation starter
When I was just out of high school, I was moving into a place with a few friends. For most of us, it was our first chance to rent our own place away from our parents. It was fairly old and run down and on the wrong side of the tracks in an area that has been dubbed a historical district named The Old Silk Stocking District in honor of the many, many brothels that once populated the area, but we were all super excited. We made a deal with our landlord that we would clean the house after the previous tenants left in exchange for them waving the deposit fee. It was a helluva deal for some broke kids. Nothing much to write home about in the living room. The kitchen had some dirty dishes in the sink and on the counters. The truly freaky stuff we only found upon entering the linen closet in the bathroom. It was not me that found it but rather one of my roommates. I was in the hall just outside the bathroom when I heard my friend who was wiping down the shelves of the linen closet make a sort of strangled sound of surprise. On the very top shelf, pushed to the very back, making it out of sight, he found a large translucent tea pitcher. He went to pull it down and found that it was about 2/3 full of liquid. He carefully brought it down, not wanting to spill any of the unknown contents. When he could see inside, he discovered that the liquid appeared to be water, although it was much darker than water would normally be. It was so dark, in fact, that although there seemed to be something solid down under the surface of the water, it was impossible to tell what it was. We both watched in fascinated horror as he slowly poured the liquid into the sink. We both jumped back in horrified disgust as a very large rubber phallus with sickening brown streaks flopped out of the pitcher and hit the sink with a very solid yet somehow still squishy, wet slap. Neither of us wanted to touch it, obviously. My roommate got the idea to use a spatula from the sink in the kitchen to try to pick it up. Much hilarity ensued as he wrestled with trying to get it balanced on the spatula. My other roommates quickly joined us, drawn by all the laughter and commotion. One of my roommates had a dog that was always at his side. Apparently, however, on this day, that dog wanted to play. When my roommate had almost gotten the foul thing to the trash can, the dog lunged, grabbing the phallus in her mouth, and took off with it. What came next, I can only describe as the absolute worst game of keep away that I have ever participated in as six young men chased a large fluffy mutt around and around a tiny house. The chase only ended after the dog ran out the front door of the house that we had propped open in an effort to air the place out, and run through multiple other yards where many of our new neighbors just happened to be outside to witness this fun. The dogs owner finally thought to trick her into thinking there was a squirrel to chase. As this was her very most favorite thing in the whole world, she finally opened her jaws, allowing it to drop floppily to the ground. We stood on it to keep her from picking it back up while her owner got her back inside. Once that was done, we were able to throw it away in the outside garbage can while our neighbors looked on.
related to something simon mentioned: if you care about a neighbor enough to ever phone the cops for a welfare check... DON'T DO IT. instead, go over to their house right now and get their phone number in case you get worried about them. ya, i know it might be awkward asking for their phone number and telling them it's not cause you want to be friends and bother them all the time but it's better than being all well-meaning and getting yelled at by your neighbor or whatever the cops might end up doing. i'm over 60 and in an attempt to keep my smoking in check, i used to go out every day and buy 1 pack. in december, i had a stroke and was finding it rather difficult to get around for a few days, not to mention that i was sleeping at least 12 hrs a day so i took to not going out every single day but buying cartons instead. 3 months later, there was a 2 day prairie blizzard and my driveway was plugged. i phoned my snow guy and talked to him a bit. went to bed since i'd been awake for 2 hours already. so... i hadn't been out in 2 whole days in the middle of a blizzard. sometime later, i awoke to a pounding at the door. in the time it took me to wake up, get dressed, and walk to the door, i was treated to the sight of my door bulging inwards as someone was body slamming it. not being particularly awake yet, i opened the door instead of challenging "who's there" or looking out the window. there stood a cop and a neighbor i'd hardly exchange 2 words with the whole time i'd lived there (20+ yrs). the cop was all pissy with me and demanded to know who i was cause they were doing a welfare check. i said i didn't appreciate that they were trying to knock down my door. cop: "well if you'd answer the door..." me standing there with the door open "..." if only my neighbor had braved that bit of awkwardness and asked me my phone number sometime previous, or tbh, i'm in the phone book and i realize 99% of people have cellphones not in the phone book, but i don't and they could have made a bit of an effort if they were so worried about me they'd phone the cops. for that matter, the cops could have made an effort and saved a lot of time on their part. it's been 5 months since that happened and i have even more trouble now as i wake up startled at every little noise. 5 months and i still don't feel safe in my house as evidenced by having this so on my mind all the time that i'd write this big long comment. so, if you've got neighbors you might care enough about to phone the cops on them, GO OVER AND ASK FOR THEIR PHONE NUMBER. save everyone a lot of grief.
100% with Simon… cats are awesome. But cats tend to just like me. One of my cats will paw on my door till I get up and play with her. And she follows me everywhere. She’s awesome. And the other just loves being held and cuddled.
Here's one. An adult son who had been estranged from his elderly father inherited his father's very large house. When the son got inside the house the first time he discovered the house filled with antique dairy cans like farmers used to use about three gallons or so in size. He opened one up and it was filled with gold and silver coins. He opened another and it had scrap gold in it from broken necklaces and such, and this house was filled with these cans hording style jammed packed. He ran to the nearest phone and called Brinks Armored Car and security services where I worked and we got sent over. There are about eight of us guards there and four armored cars on site. This guy is coming unglued he is so happy. We were taking the first round of cans out to the armored cars when we noticed they sloshed like they had some liquid inside. We told the guy who opened it up and it was full of piss and shit. All of the other cans in the house were full of the same thing where the toilets had broken decades before and never been fixed. He ended up having to pay for hazardous waste removal crews and I heard ended up like 20k in the red even after the sale of the house. This was about 30 years ago in Cincinnati, Ohio.
I used to work at a recycling center that specialized in construction demolition. At first, i was surprised to find out that quite often, cash would come down the "B Line" where I worked. B Line was smaller material that went through a huge shaker first. Many, many people would stash cash in their walls and eventually move out, die, go to jail (maybe), or whatever the case was, and when their house was eventually demolished, the pieces would make their way to the center and the long-lost, sweet, sweet greenbacks would make it to the pockets of me and my fellow employees. For this to happen a couple of times per year, that would sound to me understandable, but the fact is that cash money would come down the line every other week or so. I worked there for 6 months and personally found cash an average of once a month. My coworker, though. He was in line before me and he would snatch up a bonus almost every single week.
This video gives me a solid chuckle as I’m in the process of moving into my first house, and contending with the remnants of the previous owners’ items. Most of it is your standard shit left by shitty owners (old food, a mattress, an old vacuum with so much cat dander just being within 20 ft proximity of it triggers my allergies, etc) but the most amusing item is a unicycle in the cellar.
Read a story about a man who had had under the porch access for utilities. When under there doing repairs he dedcided to have some fun. He got a halloween skeleton and partially buried it under the porch. A surprise for the next owner.
My cousin and her boyfriend bought a house, and moved in. Almost a year later she was looking out the back window and saw a drunk dwarf wander in the back gate and under the house. Turned out he had a deal with the previous owner to LIVE IN THE UNFINISHED BASEMENT, and wasn't aware that the house had changed owners as he'd been gone on an entertaining job for a long while. My cousin had to kick him out after she discovered a whole little person unwalled suite with bed and toilet under her house.
The teddy bear having its head removed and a stake driven through its chest actually makes me think that whoever put it there either thought or was pretending it was a vampire.
Jesus christ, the Tangent cuts are getting more elaborate. 😂I love them. My favorite one is still the "INCOMING!" one that ends with the tank being blown up by a tangent. 😂
Al Capones vault was a made for TV extravaganza, hosted by Geraldo Rivera. It was 1986, so no internet. It was glorious fun watching Geraldo come up with nothing, live.
I purchased a life sized, realistic plastic human skeleton that rode shotgun with me for a while. If/when we ever build a deck, the skeleton is going under it, for the next owner to find.
The part about writing on the walls behind the wall paper, my sister in-law done something similar at my house when I was renovating my daughters room and had the plaster/drywall off.. It says "They trapped me here! Please let me out." and on another panel "Love ya work, keep it up."
One day someone's going to find 16 dog skeletons and the ghost of Yoko Ono's musical back catalogue in the basement of Simon's old house
But they will never find Dave, Danny and the others
Only 16?
Ha hahahaaaa!! That’s great man!!
Tbf... The Yoko Ono back catalog is a "treasure" that should remain hidden... 😂😂😂
“Don’t Worry Kyoko It’s Only Mommy’s Hand Hidden in the Snow” is my jam😂
Good god. Can we please give all of the editors of all of Simon's channels some recognition here, for being awesome!
Do you know how many channels 🤔 I swear I still keep finding new channels
not the editor who only uses 196i resolution clips, they need to upgrade to better software. There is better open source software than whatever free version of software they are using
Who?
@@motherlilith81 11 still up
@patrick70335 I mostly listen to Simon's stuff, until it's mega projects, or side projects.
Plot twist: Dave's dog is barking at the guy who lives in the attic, but "the attic" is what Dave calls the rest of Simon's house that exists above the basement.
My son is a practical joker. He was house sitting for a friend. He went to a flea market and bought 2 garbage bags full of old baby dolls. Some have all their parts, but some don't. He spent the entire week his friend was gone hiding dolls everywhere he could think of. They're in the attic, the basement, the ductwork, the toilet tank, and behind appliances. He put one in the driver seat of an old car that hasn't been moved in years and hid another one in the trunk. There's even one in the well pump enclosure. There's like twenty dolls, and they're hidden everywhere. This happened years ago. They guy still calls my son every once in a while to chew him out because he found another one. There's no doubt in my mind that a future owner will still be finding dolls.
Your son is awesome
That’s funny right there.
And I hate practical jokes. But that is totally harmless.
Okay I might be a little more harmless but I have always brought *something* to hide while house sitting (its usually rubber ducks or glow in the dark stars, sometimes dice or plastic easter eggs)
When we were cleaning out my grandmother's house to sell it I found 12 squirrel tails in the garage. Her big ass Siamese cat had been keeping kill trophies in there.
My grandfather had a box full of squirrel tails too, he tied flies and hair jigs with them.
Or it was where the cat was bringing the squirrels to eat them without the risk of their catch being stolen! My mom's cat does this, to the ditch in front of the neighbour's house 😅
Ok, we need the backstory as to why Dave gets randomly attacked by cats. lol
Agreed! But... usually... Cats are an exercise in consent. Some people take issue with that, and cats tend to have sharp bits. ;)
So before I was born my mom had a cat and it hated me, like not even be in the same room hated me. One Christmas when i was 6 the cat seemed usually tolerant of my presence and even sat across the couch from me. My naive self thought that maybe due to Christmas magic the cat didn't hate me and we could be friends, that was until I reached out to pet it. It bit my hand, wrapping it front paws around my wrist and started raking its hind paws, and claws, down my arm. Years later long after the cat had died, I asked my mom what was up with the cat. Apparently when I was like a year and half old I saw someone on tv swat at a cat with a rolled up newspaper, and when my mom was out of the room I cornered the cat and started beating the snot out of it with a newspaper. According to my mom the cat just sat there and took it becasue it knew better, and I believe her becasue when I was 5 a dog bit my face, and my mom showed up at the dogs owners house the next day and stabbed it to death so....yea. Also I didn't do anything to the dog, and the dog probably didn't mean to hurt me. I was sitting on the floor eating a sandwich and when I brought the sandwich to my mouth to take a bite the dog fallowed it. I needed a few stitches and the doctor said if the bite had been a millimeter over I would have lost an eye, which I think was a contributing factor to my moms reaction.
My bet is cat's hate the blind
@walfman100 your mum stabbing a dog to death feels like some insanity 😳
My friend Tricia Riggs was found after 15 years missing when her husband (who killed her and told their kids she'd abandoned them) sold the house and the new owner decided to do some work on the garden's retaining walls. He's in jail now. [ETA: To be clear, I mean the husband is in jail, not the new homeowner. Talking about this still makes me angry and that means I write pronoun confusions].
If you had to sell why didnt you move the bones! Like your dumb! Or at least do really nice work at the spot so the new owner wont work there.
Oh man that's awful. Sounds like he's now in one of the worst houses in America: max security prison.
@@BlueLoneWolf527and the only "renovations" in the cells are probably previous inmates' blood on the walls 💀
What a monster! I think I've heard that story on one of the true crime stories.
When did remodeling the garden retainywalls become a jail time offense?
I have a very sensitive sense of smell. As a child, we had two cats who used to hide dead animals around the house, and I was the designated "death smeller" and would have to crawl around looking for the rotting corpse. My parents literally rang me a few months ago to come find whatever dead thing was hidden in their house. I'm an adult.
but did you find it??
Me too! I pick colognes and perfumes out by circling the counters until I track one down to the source…it’s not hard. I had the first Covid and couldn’t smell anything for 6 months…felt like I was in a fishbowl
I am the finder of rotting oranges. It's a very useful talent for being so specific. Just a few days ago, I walked into my best friend's apartment and the first thing I told her was she needed to check her oranges because at least one was bad. She opted to just have the kids take the whole box of oranges and apples out to the trash since no one was eating them anyway or they would've noticed before I smelled it. Lol
I had to pin point the ceiling tile that a squirrel had died above in a classroom back in high school. My siblings and I have noses like bloodhounds.
I know this terrible superpower all too well. One time, I could smell a rotting animal AT LEAST a week before the rest of my coworkers. I complained about it every 30 minutes for days, driving all of them crazy, before the boss finally smelled it and called maintenance.
The whole bit starting t 13:00 is the best, lol. The writers and editors messing with Simon is literally my favorite thing about these videos.
5:24 Listening to Simon puzzle over the "cats own people" joke had me on the edge of my seat. My fuzzy overlord used the opportunity to jump onto my seat.
I like the script as always, Dave, and I want to thank you for including the bit at the end from Danny. His advice for what to do before moving house assures me that he genuinely told it to you. I’ve been wondering about where he’s been, but I can recognize that warped, witty sense of humor anywhere.
We used to get bats and squirrels in our attic. The squirrels would chew a way in. I don't know why. Squirrel reasons? The bats would find the holes and think the place was a nice little cave to roost in, but they were sometimes unable to find their way back out. Anyway, one day my uncle was visiting and we had to help one of those bats get back outside. I guess we left the attic open because later that night our almost entirely black cat was walking on top of the ceiling tiles over my uncle's bed. We know this because the tiles didn't hold and dropped that very surprised black cat on my sleeping uncle in the middle of the night!
We had a good laugh after everyone calmed down, but I didn't think he ever slept in that room again. The cat was fine, btw.
Love the McNally meme, "This is a . It can be opened with a ."
there are people to this day that still hide larges amounts of money/valubles just becuase they don't trust banks
🤔🤫
We accidentally left one of our snake tanks open after feeding them and a pink and yellow California King snake got out and we couldn’t find him for four months. Then at Christmas break I got a new black kitten which quickly got lost in the house. So we had a missing snake and a missing kitten for 3 hours. Then my brother came home from University for Christmas and found them both within an hour!! They were both fine and the snake went back in his tank after months of freedom under the living room carpet.
That didn't escalate and I'm happy to hear it.
Same. I was very concerned about that kitten!
I think you and your family shouldn't have pets
I was so worried you were going to say that you found the kitten *INSIDE* of the Snake! I'm so relieved! 😂🤣
@@jamesn0va I'm gonna have to agree 😅. Like, if a snake goes missing, that is something you NEED to contact a professional about immediately. What if the snake eats someone else's pets, nevermind the little kitten that was purchased as its replacement only THREE MONTHS prior. Alls well that ends well, but geez...
The pentagram drawing edit was brilliant! Well done, very well done indeed!
There’s home renovation videos online where they leave messages, plastic skeletons, or other items behind walls for the next person to discover when the place ever gets renovated again.
Also, pretty sure the last place I lived had a cat living in the attic. I’d hear galloping noises in my ceiling at various times of the day. The attic was open to the garage, so the cat wasn’t stuck up there. Probably just busy chasing mice, which we had a problem with. A cat running on drywall is quite the sound when laying in bed underneath it.
Could have been a raccoon or squirrels, too. Went on vacation and came home to a family of critters in the attic crawlspace, that wasn't noticeable until a few weeks after we got home. The scritches in the ceiling were very unsettling.
Squirrels can be shockingly loud for as small as they are.
Even mice themselves can make quite a ruckus. Also packrats (which are much cuter than regular rats, and usually solitary)
Here's something minorly bizarre I found after moving in. The previous owner put together a makeshift bidet in the master bathroom. How do you do that? Well, there was a kitchen sink sprayer attached directly to the water supply line for the toilet just laying there on the ground. There were lots of other DIY jobs of a similar caliber around too, but that one stuck out.
Was the previous owner a Finn? Those hand showers are pretty basic here, it usually has small attachment next to the sink, rather than just laying on the floor. We rarely have them in the kitchen, short of restaurants and more industrial size kitchens.
Did it work?
Bahahahaha 😂
Uhhh thats genius??? I mean it costs like 50 cents for a lil hook you could screw on the wall to hang it from....
Also seems like it would work great comsidering you can easily spray all over. As long as the temperature and pressure of the water are set well, then i dont really see the issue here....
My friend found a tent in her loft.... a set up tent..... thankfully no one living inside of it 😂
That’s how foreclosure auctions in the U.S. (or at least in Maryland, where I live). The auction company doesn’t have access to the inside of the house. No one can access it until it’s sold.
I’ve bought a few properties that way, and I’ve found something really gross in one.
Mind sharing what it was? If not that okay.
@@insertianameia2224 - the previous owners let their adult son live with them. He had a drug problem.
Instead of going downstairs to use the bathroom, he just went in his bedroom. For years. Probably a decade’s worth of feces and urine.
It was pretty foul. But far easier to get rid of than I expected.
But GROSS.
@@middleneckfarms Rank. He could have at least had the decency to use jars like Howard Hughes.
@@CatoTheElder- I thought those were jars of milk? 🥛 Or at least in the DiCaprio film.
@@MrEnjoivolcom1They brought him milk in the jars which he drank and then he peed in the jars.
My university had an incident of a previous tenant living in an off-campus house. Apparently, there was a locked door that the current tenants assumed contained the furnace and whatnot yet was actually a bedroom that someone was still living in.
1. Years ago, my mom & step-dad bought his family's house from his grandmother. When we were redecorating the master bedroom, we found "??? is a whore" written in red lipstick under the wallpaper.
2. In the late 90s, my parents started purchasing silver & gold to prepare for Y2K. They kept it in the garage in a box listed "heavy metal parts."
3. An old friend used to work clearing out houses that were repossessed by the bank. He got to keep anything left behind. Every once in a while, he gave me something interesting that he'd found.
Thank you for another interesting episode!
I moved into a place that was basically a time capsule to the mid 70s. The wall next to the toilet was also bleached to the point of the coloring being removed from the wallpaper, much higher up than incidental spray would hit. Given the immaculate condition of the rest of the place, I try to not think about the fact that the guy who lived there was probably dead on the toilet for a while.
During a kitchen remodel in another house, we had planned to hide some toys in a dead space between cupboards, and maybe paint "GET OUT" on the wall in dark red/brown paint, but that plan fell through.
06:06 NEW TANGENT MEME!
The teleprompter cam was brilliant, Julian!
The funny thing about the pentagram was that it was actually a symbol embraced by Christianity at one point in time. I think it was a symbol associated with Sir Galahad, the most holy of Arthur’s knights, supposedly the one to find the Holy Graiil and ascend into heaven. Supposedly the five points on the star represented five virtues of a good knight or something. Anyways…the shock and awe of a pentagram, even if it were inverted and not upright, is nonsense. Wiccans may encase it in a circle and call it love and light and basically be a less organized form f Catholicism, but it’s just a five pointed star and only means what you want it to mean. People need to chill out. Simon is bang on on this one.
Stands for the five wounds of Christ.
Im assuming that must be why the "church of jesus christ" might have adopted it back
Similar thing with upside down crosses, should be the St Peters cross who wanted to be crucified upside down out of respect to Jesus
That’s a pentacle, which is a star; a pentagram is upside down, and is intended to represent the horns of the beast. Same shape, but being upside-down represents the “anti” version of the star/pentacle.
You probably mean the "Seal of Salomon". That's what the pentagrams in the flags of Marocco and Ethopia are supposed to represent.
A Drudenfuß, DRudenstern or Pentagram (doesn't matter which direction) can be found in a lot of flags, on old buildings in Germany or even in old churches. It was a protective symbol against demons.
The free masons also used it with the points of the stars having specific meanings.
It's only since the 19th century or so that the inverse pentagram is linked to occultism and viewed as a symbol for the d*vil. Back then there was a big spiritual movement with lots of people delving into all kinds of spiritualism. Levi, Crowley and so on. And then you had LaVey and his special church.
Would make a really nice and long topic for "Into the Shadows".
A buddy of mine called me freaking out over finding a human body in the nasty pond on his new property. It was a mannequin. 🤣🤣🤣
Someone should inform @thisisMONSTERS . He says it's never a mannequin, lol.
Finally, it was a mannequin. 😅
4:10 - Chapter 1 - Cat finds treasure
8:15 - Chapter 2 - Forgotten pet
12:30 - Chapter 3 - Satanic symbols
14:35 - Chapter 4 - The previous tenant
17:20 - Chapter 5 - The previous tenant part 2
Can you add the time for when "Simon goes off about dog genocide"
I know a guy that bought a new house and found a dead body wrapped in plastic in the attic.
My bad bro. I was supposed to take that with
Found... Allegedly....
@@RealJonNewton😂
Simon attempting and failing to draw a pentagram on the desk is the funniest thing I've ever seen on this channel
Fwiw, the pentagram isn't a common symbol in the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. There's some obscure references to some temple design, but it isn't widely used or even known among the members
No there’s not. I’ve been LDS my entire life (42yo). No pentagrams anywhere, including in temples.
Was probably referring to the "star of David". (it's almost like a lot of it used to have original meanings, that were then swept under the rug during the Church's quest to wipe out "pagan" religions and cultures...just as they did with a certain story of a virgin birth used to explain the spring/winter solstices)
I was wondering if they'd give full satanic yet. Awful people. Worse religion.
@@curtis3014 the nauvoo Temple had sun and moon stones like the salt lake Temple, but it had both 5 pointed stars (pentagrams) and 6 pointed stars. Like I said it's an extremely obscure reference that most members don't know about.
A friend of mine once moved into an old Victorian house, opened a cupboard and found a pentagram drawn on it with a single candle in the centre.
I'm 99% sure it was prank, but she was convinced her house was haunted after that.
That’s dumb. The Devil doesn’t exist. Stop believing in childish nonsense, stop watching Hollywood movies, and grow up.
Home improvement is just territorialism.
"When you move into your new place, take the idiot's wallpaper down, then write on the wall in blood red paint 'I WILL KILL AGAIN.'
Wait for it to to dry.
And then put your wallpaper up.
You never get to see the punchline to this little practical joke but you do get a very warm feeling when you hand the keys over." - Chris Addison.
When I helped my friend and his family move out of his home, we put a sh*t load of glitter in the ceiling aircon vents and on top of any ceiling fan blades we came across.
The people that bought the house were being really really rude and horrible - I imagine they’re still getting glitter out of things (including themselves) to this day…
Devious ! I would tell the new owners : " I liked the place, but I always thought there was something telling me to take down the wall paper and restore it to it's former glory" . Leave it at that... ...then change your ph#... lol ... head games are fun !
@@user-jd4xo7gn7h we had our house built from the ground up. We added in 2 secrets that they will only find if they renovate. 1 is a copy of the blueprints of the house and a photo album of the houses construction. The other is box full of marbles. Just to confuse them.
Wanted to seal a creapy doll in the walls when the drywall was being redone. Regrets that keep me up at night, I've lived a good life.
Dave is a serial killer! I know because simon didn’t say “ allegedly” :-p /s ( jk of course)
Leaving stuff or messages in houses for people to find later is fun. In my area there's at least 5,000 electrical junction box covers with "Epstein didn't kill himself" written on the inside.
It does occur to me that I've never been up in the attic of my house... I wonder what might be up there?...
@@selkie76 Twilight Zone idea: you go up there and find that the attic is exactly the same as the main floor...and the person living there...is you.
A friend in college moved into an apartment near campus. His neighbor invited him over to show him what had been found in his apartment. It was a human skull, still with dirt on it. There was a large cemetery across the street. There was a little blip in the newspaper about the find, but I never heard if the police figured out where the skull came from and who it was.
Our house is 125 years old. On the attic (which is huge because it used to be a hay loft), there is a filing cabinet built into a wall.
When we first bought the place my nephew was up there and found an old newspaper clipping stuffed in the back of the filing cab. The article was about local unsolved murders from the 1980s and we got a little bugged out.
My wife had the grand idea of flipping it over and there was another article, perfectly fit on the back side of the page, about one of the former owner's kids being part of a basketball tourney.
If she hadn't flipped that, we might still be investigating lol
Meanwhile, in the Mirror Universe...
...😱💀
@@willmfrank hahah
My friend renovated her house (from the 30s or 40s) after bad (marriage and) divorce and found newspapers used as insulation in the walls, instead of sawdust or modern fiberglass. They were mostly intact, nicely worn out and yellowed, the ads were delightful, the language slightly out of fashion, pictures obviously old and fuzzy, plus its simply a snapshot of the times when the house was built and quite literally part of it.
So, she decided to use it as wallpaper in the 2 small upstairs bedrooms, parts of hall and bathroom. It looks fab to me, Ive spent hours of reading those walls, but her younger son isnt really sold; he happened to get huge in memoriam-section right next to his bed, his day starts and ends with reminder mortality and long dead peeps.. He isnt amused.
@@janemiettinen5176 I have a friend that renovated an old barn years ago. Added on stables for his wife's horses and built a tack room in the barn. In that area, one of the original wooden beams in the wall had initials carved into it, from the original builders. He made a point of leaving that part of that beam exposed to preserve that bit of history.
Bahahahaha
I don't know why but one of my favorite TV moments from when I was a kid was that Geraldo special with Capone's vault, he spent the whole 2 hour show hyping up what might be in it and the look on his face when he realizes it's empty is still burned into my brain lol
I remember that too! 😂
I remember forcing myself to stay awake to see, and then...nothing. I was so freaking mad!
It's a classic moment in history. That look is priceless, because you know Geraldo just expected like, a gold mine behind the door.
Talking about not getting to enjoy the outcome of your joke reminds me of one xmas when I was in my teens. I got a job as a packer at a clothes warehouse, had an order for a single shirt and packed that sucker into increasingly large packages until I was eventually sending a large order box (about 90x90x45inch). I know it's a waste, but still chuckle at the thought of someone receiving that and being confused as Hell, then becoming increasingly frustrated as they open box after box after box, and bag after bag... Just to find the crappy Supreme shirt!
I think it was 12 bags and 4 boxes in the end, plus bubble wrap where needed
I'm in shipping now and just thinking of the current cost of that 😮 I hope it wasn't going far. 😭
@@SquirrelNebulanot a detail I remember, based in London and only shipped within the UK though, so couldn't have been further than northern Scotland
It's a pentacle if it's in a circle. They always get that wrong. I'd have thought it was cool as fuck, and kept it.
My mom found plastic baggies with coins and small bullions of silver and gold as well as an old .22 Luger. When they start tearing down walls after a flood.
She found someone's zombie apocalypse cache
❤
Edit 1: 2:10 I found McNeally recently, and I love it that the editor, I guess Lorelei, included their content here.
One love ❤
McNally is one of my fave content creators. Glad he's out here putting a stop to Big Lock
That Inclusion made me happy 😂
More and more videos are including clips from his videos. Soo good.
6:33 I have sniffed out and disposed of 2 dead rats in closets one when I was a kid in school and the other as an adult at work. Because spraying air freshener just makes it worse.
Love the Foil, Arms and Hog reference LOL.
😂 I have a full size fake skeleton that rides in my car. I know where he is going when we move 😂
Should I leave my copy of the Satanic Bible and Simon version of the Necronomicon with it 😄 🤣
@@paulwright110I have a real skeleton that was used in my school that I rescued from the trash 😂 He has two left feet and the wires that hold him together are barely hanging on but I love him
@@brynnwalsh6984 put a pulley rig on the door and attach to real friend 😆
This episode's tangent was absolutely savage
Not a bizarre find but I found 2000 euros in cash in an envelope behind a gas heater in a motorhome I got, I only found it because I needed to replace a gas fitting, was well happy with that find.
Edit: 7:30 exactly what the previous owner had done, they had moved across the world by the time I found it, we had a great xmas that year.
Not on the same scale, but a friend of mine had a camper. One time while camping, she decided to stash a $100 bill and her credit card in “a safe place”. It was 7 years before someone was cleaning out a drawer and found them in a package of zip lock sandwich bags. So it’s quite possible that something of the same sort happened in your case.
@@anna9072gotta love when it'd so safe it's safe from you too 😂
@@Loralanthalas yeah, it became a running joke - “where did you put it?” “In a safe place…” “Uh-oh…”
I sincerely believe there are multiple versions of Simon, like there has to be a limit on how many successful TH-cam channels one man can run
Simon has a wonderful team. Thanks y'all
There's a conspiracy theory that Simon has a bunch of clones to help host channels, too many got burned out so Daven was released from the basement (if he was even there and isnt one of the reptilians trying to conquer Earth as i suspect).
We need a deciding the unknown on the infinite Simon theory
I've suspected for years, that he's at least a triplet with two identical brothers....
@@KendlickLama if he just reads a script or tells prompt written by someone else as I just found out that he does. If he has one writer for each TH-cam channel or even multiple writers he could theoretically do one post every half hour and if he only did half a days work once a week he could still have 8 channels and that sounds about correct for so many channels I have seen him on. All he does is read the script or tells prompt. Some people are greedy.
Great stories, and the editing was fantastic.
I knew it was Julian editing before I even saw the credits. Julian your editing makes me laugh so much that star drawing bit was so good! 😂
Second that! The star drawing bit had me cackling! This ep was some of Julian's best work.
Free the writers!
Stronger chains!
More chains!
Hellraiser type of chains
@@xjunkxyrdxdog89" we have such wondrous tangents to show you....."
Would you like to join them?
The live trace of my boy Simon scribbling Solomon’s Keys on his desk was a nice touch 😅
I found a skeleton in a Free Danny TShirt in my basement. And lots of he%$#i
So on the plus side, having a stray python would have solved the kitten problem. On the minus side, if a pentagram has been used for a summoning, breaking the lines might have released whatever it had contained. Then a python might be the least of your problems. And we all know when what Simon will be leaving behind when he moves out.
We renovated the bathroom when we moved into our house. Nothing wierd was found. However, there was the small indent from an old medicine cabinet. A mirror now covers it. But before we placed the mirror over the indent, I made sure to put some creepy things in there for the next owner to find. >:D
I agree with Danny, that sounds like a great prank and I do not need to see their reactions to appreciate the spectrum of confusion to terror that opening those safes would cause. Especially since it would start out as a spectrum of anticipation to excitement bwaha.
Well done with the editing of these, it's always hilarious and are a particular highlight in my week
4:28 No, I believe that Simon said regardless of how good the dog was or how bad the person was a person’s life is worth more.
As a snake owner myself, HOW DO YOU FORGET YOUR SNAKE IN YOUR PREVIOUS HOUSE??!!
I found a bottle of apricot wine in the walls of my old house. On the lable it had written "New Years 1929" pretty cool.
That last story is why you should ALWAYS change all your exterior locks when you buy a new home. You never know who may have a key to the old locks.
Also, we hid a tiny Lego construction man in our pantry wall when we renovated our apartment. May he never see the light of day again.
Out of all the random dangerous creatures you could find in your basement in Australia I imagine the previous owner didn't even register in the top 10
When my unit was being releived in Kuwait, we put all our alarm clocks into every nook, cranny and air vent.
They were set to go off at about 3 minute intervals. The barracks was an open bay, and about 100 troops lived in it.
The alarms started at around 2 am, and continued for hours.
That "tangent" montage was HILARIOUS!!!
Editing off of the charts this one , great stuff
A family member of mine bought a huge house in the Castro district of San Francisco. On the top floor they found a room with a huge pentagram burned into the floor and crazy nonsense writing on the walls. The door to the room would only lock from the outside. The old owners were pot growing hippies who said "oh yeah we used to party a lot".
A house out here in northern Cali was found to have over 30 rattlesnakes under the house.
Almost as bad as the house across the woods from us that was infested with brown recluses. Simon actually mentioned it on a video of his in the past. I forget which one, but it was weird to hear it brought up again. The poor people that bought the (Not cheap) house had a 2-3 year lawsuit to deal with in which they ended up needing to pay for two houses for much longer than they should have just so they had a place to live.
The editing was excellent here, Julian - especially the highlighter tracing of Fact Boi's attempts to draw a pentagram 😂
Every time I repair something inside one of my walls, I leave something oddly disturbing.
When I was a baby in 1967 our house burnt to the ground (bad wires) parents bought and had a old farm house moved to our old houses spot. Years later I was 15 and we turned the attic into bedrooms for us kids 5 in all. In the attic was a coffin with remains. The previous owners husband. Still have no idea why it was there and for all them years. Parents had him buried besides his wife where there was a head stone for him already. Weird stuff always happened and stuff disappeared a lot until he was placed to rest.
The weirdest thing left from previous tenants was a big-ass dead tree (trunk, thick branches and even some roots) in the middle of a room. According to the landlord, someone dragged in a chopped down tree while drunk, and it stayed because it's a friggin' mistery how, as it does not fit through any door or window. Not even going to touch on the mysterious topic of getting it up the narrow winding stairs... the branches were too thick to bend even while fresh.
Tensnts mostly used it as a coathanger and conversation starter
It's the "Why are you the way you are" for me 😂
Next episode: Florida Man vs. Aussie Man! Different types of crazy, same Darwin awards!
When I was just out of high school, I was moving into a place with a few friends. For most of us, it was our first chance to rent our own place away from our parents. It was fairly old and run down and on the wrong side of the tracks in an area that has been dubbed a historical district named The Old Silk Stocking District in honor of the many, many brothels that once populated the area, but we were all super excited. We made a deal with our landlord that we would clean the house after the previous tenants left in exchange for them waving the deposit fee. It was a helluva deal for some broke kids. Nothing much to write home about in the living room. The kitchen had some dirty dishes in the sink and on the counters. The truly freaky stuff we only found upon entering the linen closet in the bathroom. It was not me that found it but rather one of my roommates. I was in the hall just outside the bathroom when I heard my friend who was wiping down the shelves of the linen closet make a sort of strangled sound of surprise. On the very top shelf, pushed to the very back, making it out of sight, he found a large translucent tea pitcher. He went to pull it down and found that it was about 2/3 full of liquid. He carefully brought it down, not wanting to spill any of the unknown contents. When he could see inside, he discovered that the liquid appeared to be water, although it was much darker than water would normally be. It was so dark, in fact, that although there seemed to be something solid down under the surface of the water, it was impossible to tell what it was. We both watched in fascinated horror as he slowly poured the liquid into the sink. We both jumped back in horrified disgust as a very large rubber phallus with sickening brown streaks flopped out of the pitcher and hit the sink with a very solid yet somehow still squishy, wet slap. Neither of us wanted to touch it, obviously. My roommate got the idea to use a spatula from the sink in the kitchen to try to pick it up. Much hilarity ensued as he wrestled with trying to get it balanced on the spatula. My other roommates quickly joined us, drawn by all the laughter and commotion. One of my roommates had a dog that was always at his side. Apparently, however, on this day, that dog wanted to play. When my roommate had almost gotten the foul thing to the trash can, the dog lunged, grabbing the phallus in her mouth, and took off with it. What came next, I can only describe as the absolute worst game of keep away that I have ever participated in as six young men chased a large fluffy mutt around and around a tiny house. The chase only ended after the dog ran out the front door of the house that we had propped open in an effort to air the place out, and run through multiple other yards where many of our new neighbors just happened to be outside to witness this fun. The dogs owner finally thought to trick her into thinking there was a squirrel to chase. As this was her very most favorite thing in the whole world, she finally opened her jaws, allowing it to drop floppily to the ground. We stood on it to keep her from picking it back up while her owner got her back inside. Once that was done, we were able to throw it away in the outside garbage can while our neighbors looked on.
related to something simon mentioned: if you care about a neighbor enough to ever phone the cops for a welfare check... DON'T DO IT. instead, go over to their house right now and get their phone number in case you get worried about them. ya, i know it might be awkward asking for their phone number and telling them it's not cause you want to be friends and bother them all the time but it's better than being all well-meaning and getting yelled at by your neighbor or whatever the cops might end up doing.
i'm over 60 and in an attempt to keep my smoking in check, i used to go out every day and buy 1 pack. in december, i had a stroke and was finding it rather difficult to get around for a few days, not to mention that i was sleeping at least 12 hrs a day so i took to not going out every single day but buying cartons instead. 3 months later, there was a 2 day prairie blizzard and my driveway was plugged. i phoned my snow guy and talked to him a bit. went to bed since i'd been awake for 2 hours already. so... i hadn't been out in 2 whole days in the middle of a blizzard.
sometime later, i awoke to a pounding at the door. in the time it took me to wake up, get dressed, and walk to the door, i was treated to the sight of my door bulging inwards as someone was body slamming it. not being particularly awake yet, i opened the door instead of challenging "who's there" or looking out the window. there stood a cop and a neighbor i'd hardly exchange 2 words with the whole time i'd lived there (20+ yrs).
the cop was all pissy with me and demanded to know who i was cause they were doing a welfare check. i said i didn't appreciate that they were trying to knock down my door. cop: "well if you'd answer the door..." me standing there with the door open "..."
if only my neighbor had braved that bit of awkwardness and asked me my phone number sometime previous, or tbh, i'm in the phone book and i realize 99% of people have cellphones not in the phone book, but i don't and they could have made a bit of an effort if they were so worried about me they'd phone the cops. for that matter, the cops could have made an effort and saved a lot of time on their part.
it's been 5 months since that happened and i have even more trouble now as i wake up startled at every little noise. 5 months and i still don't feel safe in my house as evidenced by having this so on my mind all the time that i'd write this big long comment.
so, if you've got neighbors you might care enough about to phone the cops on them, GO OVER AND ASK FOR THEIR PHONE NUMBER. save everyone a lot of grief.
20:53 My message would read: "We are WAITING for you in the basement, DO NOT LOOK INTO THE MIRRORS!!!!"
Another Brain Blaze?
Yesssss! You're spoiling us rotten this week.
Thanks guys.👍
100% with Simon… cats are awesome. But cats tend to just like me. One of my cats will paw on my door till I get up and play with her. And she follows me everywhere. She’s awesome. And the other just loves being held and cuddled.
Here's one. An adult son who had been estranged from his elderly father inherited his father's very large house. When the son got inside the house the first time he discovered the house filled with antique dairy cans like farmers used to use about three gallons or so in size. He opened one up and it was filled with gold and silver coins. He opened another and it had scrap gold in it from broken necklaces and such, and this house was filled with these cans hording style jammed packed. He ran to the nearest phone and called Brinks Armored Car and security services where I worked and we got sent over. There are about eight of us guards there and four armored cars on site. This guy is coming unglued he is so happy. We were taking the first round of cans out to the armored cars when we noticed they sloshed like they had some liquid inside. We told the guy who opened it up and it was full of piss and shit. All of the other cans in the house were full of the same thing where the toilets had broken decades before and never been fixed. He ended up having to pay for hazardous waste removal crews and I heard ended up like 20k in the red even after the sale of the house. This was about 30 years ago in Cincinnati, Ohio.
I used to work at a recycling center that specialized in construction demolition. At first, i was surprised to find out that quite often, cash would come down the "B Line" where I worked. B Line was smaller material that went through a huge shaker first. Many, many people would stash cash in their walls and eventually move out, die, go to jail (maybe), or whatever the case was, and when their house was eventually demolished, the pieces would make their way to the center and the long-lost, sweet, sweet greenbacks would make it to the pockets of me and my fellow employees. For this to happen a couple of times per year, that would sound to me understandable, but the fact is that cash money would come down the line every other week or so. I worked there for 6 months and personally found cash an average of once a month. My coworker, though. He was in line before me and he would snatch up a bonus almost every single week.
We found out from the neighbors that the home owner almost died on the property we're renting. What's the next step under being haunted, cursed?
I'm disappointed he didn't mention finding an entire underground lost city behind a wall.
This video gives me a solid chuckle as I’m in the process of moving into my first house, and contending with the remnants of the previous owners’ items. Most of it is your standard shit left by shitty owners (old food, a mattress, an old vacuum with so much cat dander just being within 20 ft proximity of it triggers my allergies, etc) but the most amusing item is a unicycle in the cellar.
Read a story about a man who had had under the porch access for utilities. When under there doing repairs he dedcided to have some fun. He got a halloween skeleton and partially buried it under the porch. A surprise for the next owner.
"People are weird."
🎵 People are people 🎵
"Oh, you're a *German* shepherd, are you?
Say hello to the *Allied Forces* !" 😹
My cousin and her boyfriend bought a house, and moved in. Almost a year later she was looking out the back window and saw a drunk dwarf wander in the back gate and under the house. Turned out he had a deal with the previous owner to LIVE IN THE UNFINISHED BASEMENT, and wasn't aware that the house had changed owners as he'd been gone on an entertaining job for a long while. My cousin had to kick him out after she discovered a whole little person unwalled suite with bed and toilet under her house.
Currently living with 3 kittens, that's an incredibly accurate description of kittens. We just put up with their shenanigans because they're so cute.
The teddy bear having its head removed and a stake driven through its chest actually makes me think that whoever put it there either thought or was pretending it was a vampire.
I once walked in to an aids goblin feasting on the corpse of raccoon giving birth
Poor Simon. I thought for sure having people locked in his basement would be the thing that people brought up especially the police in his area.
Well if Simon found a body in his new home, he could always go sleep in the east wing 🏫
OH MY GOD GEOFFREY'S EATEN SOMEONE
The editor tracing what Simon was attempting to draw as a star was EPIC lol
Jesus christ, the Tangent cuts are getting more elaborate. 😂I love them. My favorite one is still the "INCOMING!" one that ends with the tank being blown up by a tangent. 😂
Al Capones vault was a made for TV extravaganza, hosted by Geraldo Rivera. It was 1986, so no internet. It was glorious fun watching Geraldo come up with nothing, live.
It deserves a video.
I purchased a life sized, realistic plastic human skeleton that rode shotgun with me for a while. If/when we ever build a deck, the skeleton is going under it, for the next owner to find.
My cat didnt own me, he left me for the nieghbors.
The editor trolling Simon for not properly drawing a pentagram absolutely killed me....
The part about writing on the walls behind the wall paper, my sister in-law done something similar at my house when I was renovating my daughters room and had the plaster/drywall off.. It says "They trapped me here! Please let me out." and on another panel "Love ya work, keep it up."
House with a body probably sold for back taxes.