As I am healing my trauma, I find myself drawn to people who are more honest in a vulnerable/kind way as opposed to people who are “honest” in the judgmental/critical sense (whom I was more drawn to when I was treating myself more harshly).
I tried this for some years and lost most of my relationship not becuase of me but most becuase of them not be able to be honest with themselves !! Yes be honest to yourself ...
This is so true. In my family I am the only one who is 100% honest about situations or my feelings. When I see something wrong I say something. Its because of my honesty I am like the black sheep of the family. It's hard to build solid relationships with family members when ur the only one that communicates honestly. Sometimes I feel like I am the only sane person in my family because of this..and that can be lonely.
being honest doesn't mean being right, it simply means being authentic about yourself. you can be honest 100% of the time without speaking of your emotions upon getting the slightest opportunity.
wow I was just feeling guilty for omitting information about my break-up with my former bf to my two best friends . Mainly because they over react and have a tendency to try to dictate to me how to live my life. thanks to your message I don’t feel guilty anymore about omitting information. great message Daniel , thank you for your transparency!!
I am so grateful for these seriously honest and authentic videos you are sharing. They are always resonating with me. You are doing an important job here.. Thank you!! 💜🙏
Your response remind me of this quote from "the brothers Karamazov" that I try to remind myself of: "Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love." -Fyodor Dostoevsky
“Mmmm. I have no response.” Fellini: “I am a liar, but an honest one” “Lies are the soul of showmanship.” “A lie is always more interesting than the truth.”
I wish people would be more honest with me (not in a hurtful way) but tell me what they are really thinking so I can learn something and maybe improve myself, but only of course if I agree with them, cause they could be wrong :)
yeah, I noticed that when people are "honest" they act it, not think about it before. They are angry and hurtful. Very few people are actually capable of being honest with empathy. because they feel that they're right and that the other person is wrong. That is probably why a lot of people are talking behinds other's people back, and here we have the seeds for our little karpman triangle
Hmm, very good video as always. What I think and feel on this issue is, rather than aiming for complete honesty which simply doesn't exist in universe where everything is mimicking everything else; we should aim for integrity instead. The wholeness of a being with it's lies and truths; because a lie gives away a personal truth to the one who sees past the pretense and a truth might be hiding a situation from a prying eye. For this, let the nature and especially the animal kingdom be your guide. A butterfly mimicking another species is still being authentic; that's it's nature. It has integrity and is so beautiful 😍
Regarding the remark you made about planting seeds: With all the… let’s just say “lunatic gardeners” out there, I’m not sure if I’m aware of a more worthy cause than those who plant and cultivate seeds (so to speak) with a profoundly healing, productive, respectful, & integral touch. So, I’ve said it before (and I’ll say it again) Thank you, Daniel 🌱✨
Really great topic Daniel! I'm constantly struggling on how to be honest yet sometimes I don't wanna be honest because it's gonna cost me something. This is a really well-put idea.
Yes, I agree with you. Just lately I have used more discretion in sharing things, about myself, the other person's self and its effect on me, and about things in the world, and this has worked out much better than either being inauthentic and polite or completely open. I have found that this works in all kinds of relationships from the close (say, with a partner or relative) to the more distant. And especially it is good to have a friend with whom one can be completely honest and open. Sometimes others just can't hear the truth of what I might be saying, for myself or for them. I like the metaphor of a seed - lots of gardening metaphors seem useful to me even 'good fences make good neighbours' :-) Thank you for your honesty with us here on the internet, not always the most clearly communicative place..
For me, I like Jesus's example. He never lied to anyone. He spoke in parables & illustrations around his enemies so that only a few got the meaning of what he was saying. Other honested-hearted individuals approached him after the fact to ask for clarification on what he was talking about. At other times when asked questions by his close apostles, he told them that at this time, they were not granted to get his meaning. (They weren't ready to understand but they would at a later date because they couldn't handle it, the truth, at this time) Then when brought before high officials to give an accounting of himself, before his execution, he remained silent because they did not deserve the truth. I read a passage to a schoolboy from Revelation 21:8 about lying and he looked worried, asking me, "But what about bullies at school who want to steal my lunch money"? I explained that sometimes Jesus just remained silent and didn't answer at all. This seemed to satisfy him, as he thanked me and walked off. Jesus was a perfect man but we are all imperfect people. Therefore, although we can't be perfect in all we do, I think we need to give it our best shot. Just saying . . . . .
I have found that it is dysfunctional, in many cases, to reveal every aspect of my life, to even people I share a high level of trust. Or put simply, revealing what a person is not ready to hear can actually sabotage the bond of trust, if it causes more cognitive dissonance than the other person can handle. In this case, complete honesty is not the most important factor, but transparency is the moral imperative. It's not withholding information if you both understand the concept of TMI (Too Much Information). Also, some things are too painful to share with certain individuals. Transparency insures that information is shared with a mutual understanding of what another person's boundaries are in a respectful manner. Another thing to keep in mind, what is considered to be honest in one culture, does not necessarily translate to another. For example, in many Middle Eastern societies, it is considered dishonest to wear deodorant, because wearing it covers up your natural sent, which translates that you are not forthcoming to those particular cultures. In short, honesty is often, nuanced and subjective.
Hi, Daniel! What`s your advice on chronic fatigue? I would really appreciate your thoughts on this topic. About the video: in my experience, some people use "honesty" as an excuse to be rude. Once, an acquaintance of mine told me: "You act toxic. I think it would be helpful for you to know, because everyone else don't tell you that because they don't want to be a part of an argument, and I'm the only honest person here.". Of course, constructive criticism is an important part of any communication, but I also think that honesty should be balanced by empathy and understanding of what the other person can handle. For example, when me and my girlfriend talk about problems in our relationship, we usually ask: "Do you have enough emotional resources for this conversation right now?". If not, we ask again a few hours later. Sometimes people are really noble and kind, but they are too vulnerable or stressed to handle our unfiltered truth. I reckon, that in these moments our brutal honesty can bring more pain than good.
waow, the question you're using in your relationship is really great ! "Do you have enough emotional resources for this conversation right now?" bravo ! I'm taking notes ^^'
Omg thank you for this I saw the title and got so excited because I'm struggling with this right now! Because I believe in telling the truth but sometimes me sharing has gotten me hurt... I'm obsessed with being honest and open with everyone like a compulsion lately due to a campaign smear :/ I really want everyone to know my truth, but I get carried away. I'm really struggling with this. I am struggling with discretion. I need to find ways to accept that other people might not be ready for my honest and that I don't owe everyone every little detail of my truth. (I told a woman about he man who abused me so she'd shut up, and she likes this man, and she's going to spread it around that I'M devious... she's being horrible to me about something that I shared which was a REALLY traumatic share. Now I feel hated, I think I'm craving nurturing and understanding and belief now to soften that blow and it's hurting me more. Acceptance is HARD. Being ok with being alone in my truth sometimes is HARD.) I like his "slow build up" method. Thank you for these videos they honestly help so much. (can you do one on accepting other people's perceptions and not needing to prove yourself after smears/how to deal with gossiping and smears? I hate it. )
Miss Merry Berry thank you. It's hard. Not over sharing.... at the end of the day, yes, we need to love ourselves, but feeling understood and loved and cared about is also a need and I think, because I didn't grow up with much nurturing, me oversharing is me craving empathy and understanding. I often feel my truth and other people's perceptions of me makes me unworthy of love.
shaylen sanders Become your own #1 supporter. Have self love and self acceptance. Then you will not crave it from others in a way that leads to hurt from over sharing. Validate your own feelings, forgive yourself the way you would others, take care of yourself, do things that bring you joy. When you practice that, you will stop caring about gossip and what others think. You take care of you.
@@gingerisevil02 I can relate to your situation more than I can express in a comment. But trust me when I say I understand. That being said, Oompa Loompa is right. In my experience, the whole "self love/acceptance" thing doesn't quite seem to get the job done or "make everything okay" at first, but that's only because it takes a very long time to fully evolve. If you try to admire a flower in it's early stages of growth, you will only experience something that pales in comparison to the very profound effect it would have in full bloom... Don't give up on finding yourself, even if it feels like a lot of work that doesn't seem to payoff. Like I said, it's not a quick fix. If it was, more people would do it. It takes time. But I can promise you it's worth it. Because once you find and understand your truth, it won't matter if anyone else accepts it or not.
Thank you, Daniel, thank you for contemplating on honesty and striving to be an honest person. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I can relate to you on so many videos and your honesty rocks. I live in an oppressive culture where honesty is not valued. A former friend of mine also told me that thinking about honesty is useless, don't think about it because no one is honest anyway. It hurt me so much back then, but now I have grown up and come to terms with living in a dishonest world. People skill comes with age. I have always used the method of selective honesty for years, just like what you said and it works for me too. Well, your video is a light in this world : ) Have a nice day!
I get constant hate for being honest. And I don't mean rude, or wrong arguments, just honest about what I think or feel. My own family used to compare me to the kid from "the emperor's new clothes". I have not changed much with age, even when it has gotten me in trouble. Basically I can either be honest or silent. Functioning in the corporate world is especially hard.
true :-) being honest, also around your feelings that might not be true ... this you can handle with some self reflection from time to time, I call it more "correctness" myself.
I've finally learned at 47 years old not to show my feelings to people except my husband. I can't even show it to my family but it's taken me a hell of a long time to work it out. I'm just a genuine decent person (it's taken me a long time to come to this conclusion about myself) that others don't seem to be able to respond to without telling me I'm wrong. They won't be given the chance to do that anymore because I'll keep all in.
Well I have a question.. How do you decide what's right or wrong?! Since one man's right is another man's wrong.. And your own wrong now was a right in the past vice versa I'd be grateful if you'd do a video answering.. And after you realize - if your honest with your self- you have no answer, I'd be happy to Commet the answer on the video, or maybe send you an email. And you can agree or correct me if I'm wrong, till we find the right answer :)
I observe behaviors as well, so even if I considered within me a person to be dear to me, this position can change if I notice the person is neglecting or not nurturing this relationship, just like a tree needs love to grow so are our relationship, it can't grow anymore if it's not continuously nurtured with good experiences and keeping up... I think indeed this world is based on an unfair game which makes it dirty and it gets dirtier the wiser you can clearly see it, it doesn't mean you can't design your own good world, but one must be careful of society, society is full of mental health diseases: cultures, religions, societies, and families. conforming in my opinion is dangerous, because you'll hide and start lying about what and how you feel just to get the acceptance by the group. Nothing against not sharing information with people you deem not worthy of your time and energy. But definitely not lying to one's self and then creating excuses for why you have to lie and then relativizing it into "a white lie" and a "good lie"... I have seen once on this platform that a couple of subscribers were apologists for the fact that one might and should lie... they even gave an example about having to lie to a child for it's own protection... etc. Thanks for the video, keep going always enriching hearing you!
Some discretion is necessary for self survival. Sometimes lying is actually out of self love. Respecting our ego, right to that line between healthy and narcissistic, and validating our need for approval/acceptance based on society’s norms, isn’t something we should overthink. It’s kind of like a part of healing means turning tough on outer criticism instead of being (aggressively) critical inward. If I’m not comfortable talking about something I don’t owe anyone an explanation and equally so, if it becomes pathological then other ppl can declare me a pathological liar and protect themselves. Those ppl are prob not meant for me to connect with at this point. If saying the truth can harm your reputation or livelihood, etc, lying is a form of self protection unless your lies are harming someone. That’s my two cents at least. My trauma treasure. *mic drop*
Very interesting and i do agree with most of what you say, I just wonder if the concept of judgement is mixed with honesty..... I do have to listen again the video..... I am very honest and have brought a lot of caos, I just cannot handle dishonesty, but I do agree with the fact that it is my point of view, I think there should be honesty with respect and no judgement, that would be the ideal world for me, anything different I cannot handle, is that possible?
Open and honest leads to chaos...ROFL...I can imagine! I would only expect it of a partner, certainly not acquaintances or strangers. Why do I spend most of my time alone...people are disappointing because they don't know themselves or what they think about anything concerning or interesting.
I think u would be a wonderful dad if u have this knowledge and practice it. I’m trying to understand how some man prefer not to have children when as a woman I am biologically unable to stop the want of even just carrying a child. I have dreamed of carrying a baby and raising a child for as long as I have been alive honestly. I grew up with trauma and also as an immigrant so I too keep myself from procreating because I do not want a child of mine to suffer, however I am 30 and I still have hope that I will be a good fit mom one day. Thanks for listening
Steve Russo: i'd be very interested ion hearing of how you learned a hard way? Me too,although the consequences are too strongly suppressing me from many directions disabling me from managing in also triple burnout. The TCM/ Naturopath said:" All chakras are imbalanced which was rare , that one can't heal alone from such a state no matter how hard one works/tryes,and that he wouldn't have managed had he not got help. Other people won't understand your state." Then he threw me out to die because he "couldn't handle me psychically". He is a good person (?) and how did he not write me a note to show others in critical situations, fe x so as not to be harmed because they get me wrong?it seems ppl act not unlike animals: When one is low in energy and sick, unsure,they mob one, harm one, hate one.I never thought Drs and therapists were ABLE to harm patients on purpose. That is what all books say and how it should be.
Could you make a video about justice, I would love to hear your point of view of this concept, I wonder if it is a subjective or objective .... Thank you 🤗😉
GOD is the one who dishes out justice so let him fight the battle. If you fight it he won't. If you fight it ther might be some demons that are stronger than you like hate and anger. When GOD fights and puts there wrath on someone WOW it's time to just step back and feel sorry for them.
Being 100% honest all the time is hella dangerous. When your tatted-up co-worker with a raised Dodge Ram and a Punisher sticker on the rear window asks you what you think of his truck, you're not gonna be honest with him.
I find it a little confusing rhat you kinda use openness and honesty as synonyms. Also I dont understand how someone can be "not worthy" of being honest with them. Everyone has value underneath. I don't say everyone is ready for a lot of openness or that it would be good sharing everything with everyone though. I think everyone deserves to get as much truth as they are able to take at that point. Might be very little, might be a gr8 deal ya know. Plato writes that the enlightened philosopher is killed when he goes back to the dissociated ppl to teach them about the light.
I think you pretty much answered your own question at the end: philosophers being killed for speaking the truth. People who kill them are behaving in a manner that makes them unworthy to hear the truth. If they were worthy, they wouldn't chose to murder a person for saying something they don't like. Substitute "persecute" or "disrespect" for murder, and you've got reasons for not speaking the truth to certain people. Because they're unworthy.
@@rheinhartsilvento2576 So, that's you disrespecting ppl for having a different opinion than you, namely that people who speak the truth should/should not be allowed to live.
@@marionoschelmuller1718 it means that people who are inherently guilty will kill the truth seeker. I understand your point about honesty and openness but they are very closely related. I have made grave mistakes being both open (totally taken advantage of financially and emotionally) and honest (my exploiters hated me for it). I am learning to be wary now, after having gone through utter hell and financial ruin.
As I am healing my trauma, I find myself drawn to people who are more honest in a vulnerable/kind way as opposed to people who are “honest” in the judgmental/critical sense (whom I was more drawn to when I was treating myself more harshly).
I tried this for some years and lost most of my relationship not becuase of me but most becuase of them not be able to be honest with themselves !! Yes be honest to yourself ...
This is so true. In my family I am the only one who is 100% honest about situations or my feelings. When I see something wrong I say something. Its because of my honesty I am like the black sheep of the family. It's hard to build solid relationships with family members when ur the only one that communicates honestly. Sometimes I feel like I am the only sane person in my family because of this..and that can be lonely.
Lepomir Bakic if someone's actions don't along then they aren't being honest
Pinkwillow 55 : I feel the same way ..
being honest doesn't mean being right, it simply means being authentic about yourself.
you can be honest 100% of the time without speaking of your emotions upon getting the slightest opportunity.
Pinkwillow 55, We've got a few things in common, stop by if you get a chance. Stay safe.
Maybe your other family members feel the same.
wow I was just feeling guilty for omitting information about my break-up with my former bf to my two best friends . Mainly because they over react and have a tendency to try to dictate to me how to live my life. thanks to your message I don’t feel guilty anymore about omitting information. great message Daniel , thank you for your transparency!!
Yeah, it doesn’t pay to be honest with everybody. Most people can’t handle it. ( in my opinion )
yeah, and we also don't always like people when they're honest with us haha
If they can't accept criticism or appreciate honesty, they aren't good people and you should ditch them.
I am so grateful for these seriously honest and authentic videos you are sharing. They are always resonating with me. You are doing an important job here.. Thank you!! 💜🙏
Theres a fine line between being honest & making yourself vulnerable.
“Be 100% honest with YOURSELF” Amen
I'm right at the same stage. I just discovered the same thing myself. I have a right to use discretion with whom I interact with.
Your response remind me of this quote from "the brothers Karamazov" that I try to remind myself of:
"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love."
-Fyodor Dostoevsky
Thank you yet again for sharing your valuable thoughts!
“Mmmm. I have no response.”
Fellini:
“I am a liar, but an honest one”
“Lies are the soul of showmanship.”
“A lie is always more interesting than the truth.”
I wish people would be more honest with me (not in a hurtful way) but tell me what they are really thinking so I can learn something and maybe improve myself, but only of course if I agree with them, cause they could be wrong :)
yeah, I noticed that when people are "honest" they act it, not think about it before. They are angry and hurtful. Very few people are actually capable of being honest with empathy. because they feel that they're right and that the other person is wrong. That is probably why a lot of people are talking behinds other's people back, and here we have the seeds for our little karpman triangle
Hmm, very good video as always. What I think and feel on this issue is, rather than aiming for complete honesty which simply doesn't exist in universe where everything is mimicking everything else; we should aim for integrity instead. The wholeness of a being with it's lies and truths; because a lie gives away a personal truth to the one who sees past the pretense and a truth might be hiding a situation from a prying eye. For this, let the nature and especially the animal kingdom be your guide. A butterfly mimicking another species is still being authentic; that's it's nature. It has integrity and is so beautiful 😍
oh yeah. Great point
A lot of people say they want to be honest but they dont really want honesty.
Man, this is so true and real it hits right at the very core. Daniel, you get it.
Regarding the remark you made about planting seeds:
With all the…
let’s just say “lunatic gardeners” out there, I’m not sure if I’m aware of a more worthy cause than those who plant and cultivate seeds (so to speak) with a profoundly healing, productive, respectful, & integral touch.
So, I’ve said it before (and I’ll say it again)
Thank you, Daniel 🌱✨
Really great topic Daniel! I'm constantly struggling on how to be honest yet sometimes I don't wanna be honest because it's gonna cost me something. This is a really well-put idea.
Cast not your pearls before swine, lest they turn and rend you.( Mat 7:6)
Yes, I agree with you. Just lately I have used more discretion in sharing things, about myself, the other person's self and its effect on me, and about things in the world, and this has worked out much better than either being inauthentic and polite or completely open. I have found that this works in all kinds of relationships from the close (say, with a partner or relative) to the more distant. And especially it is good to have a friend with whom one can be completely honest and open. Sometimes others just can't hear the truth of what I might be saying, for myself or for them. I like the metaphor of a seed - lots of gardening metaphors seem useful to me even 'good fences make good neighbours' :-) Thank you for your honesty with us here on the internet, not always the most clearly communicative place..
For me, I like Jesus's example. He never lied to anyone. He spoke in parables & illustrations around his enemies so that only a few got the meaning of what he was saying. Other honested-hearted individuals approached him after the fact to ask for clarification on what he was talking about. At other times when asked questions by his close apostles, he told them that at this time, they were not granted to get his meaning. (They weren't ready to understand but they would at a later date because they couldn't handle it, the truth, at this time) Then when brought before high officials to give an accounting of himself, before his execution, he remained silent because they did not deserve the truth.
I read a passage to a schoolboy from Revelation 21:8 about lying and he looked worried, asking me, "But what about bullies at school who want to steal my lunch money"? I explained that sometimes Jesus just remained silent and didn't answer at all. This seemed to satisfy him, as he thanked me and walked off.
Jesus was a perfect man but we are all imperfect people. Therefore, although we can't be perfect in all we do, I think we need to give it our best shot. Just saying . . . . .
I have found that it is dysfunctional, in many cases, to reveal every aspect of my life, to even people I share a high level of trust. Or put simply, revealing what a person is not ready to hear can actually sabotage the bond of trust, if it causes more cognitive dissonance than the other person can handle. In this case, complete honesty is not the most important factor, but transparency is the moral imperative. It's not withholding information if you both understand the concept of TMI (Too Much Information). Also, some things are too painful to share with certain individuals. Transparency insures that information is shared with a mutual understanding of what another person's boundaries are in a respectful manner. Another thing to keep in mind, what is considered to be honest in one culture, does not necessarily translate to another. For example, in many Middle Eastern societies, it is considered dishonest to wear deodorant, because wearing it covers up your natural sent, which translates that you are not forthcoming to those particular cultures. In short, honesty is often, nuanced and subjective.
Hi, Daniel! What`s your advice on chronic fatigue? I would really appreciate your thoughts on this topic.
About the video: in my experience, some people use "honesty" as an excuse to be rude. Once, an acquaintance of mine told me: "You act toxic. I think it would be helpful for you to know, because everyone else don't tell you that because they don't want to be a part of an argument, and I'm the only honest person here.". Of course, constructive criticism is an important part of any communication, but I also think that honesty should be balanced by empathy and understanding of what the other person can handle.
For example, when me and my girlfriend talk about problems in our relationship, we usually ask: "Do you have enough emotional resources for this conversation right now?". If not, we ask again a few hours later. Sometimes people are really noble and kind, but they are too vulnerable or stressed to handle our unfiltered truth. I reckon, that in these moments our brutal honesty can bring more pain than good.
waow, the question you're using in your relationship is really great ! "Do you have enough emotional resources for this conversation right now?" bravo ! I'm taking notes ^^'
Me too
Great talk and good questions !! Thank you for sharing.
being honest and being myself is one way to filter out narcissist because for some reason they love to take advantage of me and bully me 😂
So insightful, thank you so much for sharing this.
Omg thank you for this I saw the title and got so excited because I'm struggling with this right now! Because I believe in telling the truth but sometimes me sharing has gotten me hurt... I'm obsessed with being honest and open with everyone like a compulsion lately due to a campaign smear :/ I really want everyone to know my truth, but I get carried away. I'm really struggling with this.
I am struggling with discretion. I need to find ways to accept that other people might not be ready for my honest and that I don't owe everyone every little detail of my truth. (I told a woman about he man who abused me so she'd shut up, and she likes this man, and she's going to spread it around that I'M devious... she's being horrible to me about something that I shared which was a REALLY traumatic share. Now I feel hated, I think I'm craving nurturing and understanding and belief now to soften that blow and it's hurting me more. Acceptance is HARD. Being ok with being alone in my truth sometimes is HARD.) I like his "slow build up" method.
Thank you for these videos they honestly help so much. (can you do one on accepting other people's perceptions and not needing to prove yourself after smears/how to deal with gossiping and smears? I hate it. )
shaylen sanders / You brought up lots of valid points . I can definitely relate !
Miss Merry Berry thank you. It's hard. Not over sharing.... at the end of the day, yes, we need to love ourselves, but feeling understood and loved and cared about is also a need and I think, because I didn't grow up with much nurturing, me oversharing is me craving empathy and understanding. I often feel my truth and other people's perceptions of me makes me unworthy of love.
shaylen sanders
Become your own #1 supporter. Have self love and self acceptance. Then you will not crave it from others in a way that leads to hurt from over sharing. Validate your own feelings, forgive yourself the way you would others, take care of yourself, do things that bring you joy. When you practice that, you will stop caring about gossip and what others think. You take care of you.
@@gingerisevil02 I can relate to your situation more than I can express in a comment. But trust me when I say I understand. That being said, Oompa Loompa is right. In my experience, the whole "self love/acceptance" thing doesn't quite seem to get the job done or "make everything okay" at first, but that's only because it takes a very long time to fully evolve. If you try to admire a flower in it's early stages of growth, you will only experience something that pales in comparison to the very profound effect it would have in full bloom... Don't give up on finding yourself, even if it feels like a lot of work that doesn't seem to payoff. Like I said, it's not a quick fix. If it was, more people would do it. It takes time. But I can promise you it's worth it. Because once you find and understand your truth, it won't matter if anyone else accepts it or not.
It’s folly to open up your honesty with a gossip. Discretion, discernment is a must.
Enjoyed this and agree. I also think it's important to acknowledge that what WE think is the honest truth might be wrong.
Thank you, Daniel, thank you for contemplating on honesty and striving to be an honest person. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I can relate to you on so many videos and your honesty rocks. I live in an oppressive culture where honesty is not valued. A former friend of mine also told me that thinking about honesty is useless, don't think about it because no one is honest anyway. It hurt me so much back then, but now I have grown up and come to terms with living in a dishonest world. People skill comes with age. I have always used the method of selective honesty for years, just like what you said and it works for me too. Well, your video is a light in this world : ) Have a nice day!
I often use my honesty to sift out the people I don't want to be around
I get constant hate for being honest. And I don't mean rude, or wrong arguments, just honest about what I think or feel. My own family used to compare me to the kid from "the emperor's new clothes". I have not changed much with age, even when it has gotten me in trouble. Basically I can either be honest or silent. Functioning in the corporate world is especially hard.
Plato's Cave.
true :-) being honest, also around your feelings that might not be true ... this you can handle with some self reflection from time to time, I call it more "correctness" myself.
I feel like i found a soul mate in you, Daniel. Sending Love your way from Poland ❤
Love this. Maybe more than being authentic, it's important to have the awareness of where we're being inauthentic
VERY HELPFUL. Thank you
You can be honest with your opinion when someone asks for it without being forceful
I've finally learned at 47 years old not to show my feelings to people except my husband. I can't even show it to my family but it's taken me a hell of a long time to work it out. I'm just a genuine decent person (it's taken me a long time to come to this conclusion about myself) that others don't seem to be able to respond to without telling me I'm wrong. They won't be given the chance to do that anymore because I'll keep all in.
It's very right!
Bless you, bless you, bless youuuu
Well I have a question..
How do you decide what's right or wrong?!
Since one man's right is another man's wrong..
And your own wrong now was a right in the past vice versa
I'd be grateful if you'd do a video answering..
And after you realize - if your honest with your self- you have no answer, I'd be happy to Commet the answer on the video, or maybe send you an email. And you can agree or correct me if I'm wrong, till we find the right answer :)
Thank you so much for making this video, Daniel!! _Miah
You’re welcome!
I observe behaviors as well, so even if I considered within me a person to be dear to me, this position can change if I notice the person is neglecting or not nurturing this relationship, just like a tree needs love to grow so are our relationship, it can't grow anymore if it's not continuously nurtured with good experiences and keeping up... I think indeed this world is based on an unfair game which makes it dirty and it gets dirtier the wiser you can clearly see it, it doesn't mean you can't design your own good world, but one must be careful of society, society is full of mental health diseases: cultures, religions, societies, and families. conforming in my opinion is dangerous, because you'll hide and start lying about what and how you feel just to get the acceptance by the group. Nothing against not sharing information with people you deem not worthy of your time and energy. But definitely not lying to one's self and then creating excuses for why you have to lie and then relativizing it into "a white lie" and a "good lie"... I have seen once on this platform that a couple of subscribers were apologists for the fact that one might and should lie... they even gave an example about having to lie to a child for it's own protection... etc. Thanks for the video, keep going always enriching hearing you!
I like to be truthful too, but with narcs this is quite impossible.
Great video. Well said.
Some discretion is necessary for self survival. Sometimes lying is actually out of self love. Respecting our ego, right to that line between healthy and narcissistic, and validating our need for approval/acceptance based on society’s norms, isn’t something we should overthink. It’s kind of like a part of healing means turning tough on outer criticism instead of being (aggressively) critical inward. If I’m not comfortable talking about something I don’t owe anyone an explanation and equally so, if it becomes pathological then other ppl can declare me a pathological liar and protect themselves. Those ppl are prob not meant for me to connect with at this point. If saying the truth can harm your reputation or livelihood, etc, lying is a form of self protection unless your lies are harming someone. That’s my two cents at least. My trauma treasure. *mic drop*
Very interesting and i do agree with most of what you say, I just wonder if the concept of judgement is mixed with honesty..... I do have to listen again the video..... I am very honest and have brought a lot of caos, I just cannot handle dishonesty, but I do agree with the fact that it is my point of view, I think there should be honesty with respect and no judgement, that would be the ideal world for me, anything different I cannot handle, is that possible?
I agree
SPOT ON Daniel!
Open and honest leads to chaos...ROFL...I can imagine! I would only expect it of a partner, certainly not acquaintances or strangers.
Why do I spend most of my time alone...people are disappointing because they don't know themselves or what they think about anything concerning or interesting.
You are so logic
Good topic
I think u would be a wonderful dad if u have this knowledge and practice it. I’m trying to understand how some man prefer not to have children when as a woman I am biologically unable to stop the want of even just carrying a child. I have dreamed of carrying a baby and raising a child for as long as I have been alive honestly. I grew up with trauma and also as an immigrant so I too keep myself from procreating because I do not want a child of mine to suffer, however I am 30 and I still have hope that I will be a good fit mom one day. Thanks for listening
learned this the hard way and am making changes
Steve Russo: i'd be very interested ion hearing of how you learned a hard way? Me too,although the consequences are too strongly suppressing me from many directions disabling me from managing in also triple burnout. The TCM/ Naturopath said:" All chakras are imbalanced which was rare , that one can't heal alone from such a state no matter how hard one works/tryes,and that he wouldn't have managed had he not got help. Other people won't understand your state." Then he threw me out to die because he "couldn't handle me psychically". He is a good person (?) and how did he not write me a note to show others in critical situations, fe x so as not to be harmed because they get me wrong?it seems ppl act not unlike animals: When one is low in energy and sick, unsure,they mob one, harm one, hate one.I never thought Drs and therapists were ABLE to harm patients on purpose. That is what all books say and how it should be.
Those people may have narcissistic tendencies, de-validation is one of the techniques. One doesn't need to agree, but also one doesn't need to judge.
Very inspiring 🙏 not everyone is prepared to grow out of their situation. Well done for sharing. @ljmotivate4u
Honesty with yourself? Knowing who you are? This is hard to do!
💖
Could you make a video about justice, I would love to hear your point of view of this concept, I wonder if it is a subjective or objective .... Thank you 🤗😉
GOD is the one who dishes out justice so let him fight the battle. If you fight it he won't. If you fight it ther might be some demons that are stronger than you like hate and anger. When GOD fights and puts there wrath on someone WOW it's time to just step back and feel sorry for them.
Being 100% honest all the time is hella dangerous. When your tatted-up co-worker with a raised Dodge Ram and a Punisher sticker on the rear window asks you what you think of his truck, you're not gonna be honest with him.
being honest is very very bad
❤⭐
Say nothing.... be honest to be safe .my ex stated he was being 'honest.' Relax n no problem n walking away. Ghosting . I stay on my own.
Hell no.
✨:o
I find it a little confusing rhat you kinda use openness and honesty as synonyms. Also I dont understand how someone can be "not worthy" of being honest with them. Everyone has value underneath. I don't say everyone is ready for a lot of openness or that it would be good sharing everything with everyone though. I think everyone deserves to get as much truth as they are able to take at that point. Might be very little, might be a gr8 deal ya know. Plato writes that the enlightened philosopher is killed when he goes back to the dissociated ppl to teach them about the light.
I think you pretty much answered your own question at the end: philosophers being killed for speaking the truth.
People who kill them are behaving in a manner that makes them unworthy to hear the truth.
If they were worthy, they wouldn't chose to murder a person for saying something they don't like.
Substitute "persecute" or "disrespect" for murder, and you've got reasons for not speaking the truth to certain people.
Because they're unworthy.
@@rheinhartsilvento2576 So, that's you disrespecting ppl for having a different opinion than you, namely that people who speak the truth should/should not be allowed to live.
@@marionoschelmuller1718 it means that people who are inherently guilty will kill the truth seeker. I understand your point about honesty and openness but they are very closely related. I have made grave mistakes being both open (totally taken advantage of financially and emotionally) and honest (my exploiters hated me for it). I am learning to be wary now, after having gone through utter hell and financial ruin.
🩷