@@KadePix3L honestly, i do halfway agree with your reply. there are aspects of media where both sides are underrepresented and there are aspects of media where one is represented more than the other. while it may feel like there are a lot more girls being represented in trans media, i feel that’s because media tends to lean more on the feminine side of things. i don’t know what kind of media you see, but at least, the kind i see tends to have a lot more trans guys than trans girls. this isn’t meant to call you wrong in any way, just explaining my perspective. :3
Worked with a trans dude whose family attend a local Lutheran church. Grandma tells the pastor (sorry for using former pronouns but I'm quoting directly): "Knock some sense into her!" Pastor takes the dude into his office and says that he's always welcome and will always be loved and respected for who he is. I grew up with this pastor, and he's always been a positive guiding force to every kid he's been around.
God, I wish I had a church like that! All I ever seen in every church I went to was hate for LGBTQIA+ and it made me turn away religion and question everything
@@DinosaurNick I'm atheist since I reject religion for myself, but if you are religious there *are* churches which are either queer or queer friendly/accepting - all the best finding your place.
I like how much attention is given to all the gendered terms like "Son" and "Boy", as a trans girl myself it really does sound that way when someone misgenders me. Like these words are just repeated over and over.
As a trans woman myself, each time that she was called " Man" or " son" It hit me Like a sledgehammer to the skull. I cringed seeing her reactions to it.
Well, as a trans Fem Christian with affirming friends and non affirming family, this one hit me in the feels. I have literally cried out those same words to God.
i love seeing a christian related trans film, its so difficult being both, but no matter what anyone says about how much he disagrees with you, he literally tells us to come as we are- i'm coming as i am with all my heart
It is nice to just know more of you are out there. I live in a small ish town and am the only one in the whole town. Everyone else left God because of how aweful many christians have been.
I’m a trans guy who grew up Christian and at the end when they played that song I instanted bursted out in tears, I’ve always liked Christian music so some extent but always felt horrible if I played it since the ppl who would sing that hated me but seeing it used in this just made me cry
Ha, I kinda did this before, don't really know why though. So I used to sleep with my sister on her room, and one week, she went to a friend's home, my family was asleep, and I was on my sister's room alone all night, so I kinda decided to try her lipstick (as it was the easier thing to take off), and then well, I just took it off and decided to go to sleep. I don't think I'm trans, I thought about it once or twice, but nah, probably was just curious, anyways, uhhhhh... It was a good night 👍
"What are you trying to do, embarrass me?". My wife has said this to me many times. The hurt and pain is so intense. Thank you for putting this out here for others to see.❤
When she told her about how she remembered that she always wanted to be the mom when they played house, I really felt that, because I always wanted to be the dad or brother and I’m a trans dude
I'm sorry you went through that. I never got to tell my Mom I'm LGBTQIA+ she died last year from cancer. My Dad is upset I want to change my name. My siblings refuse to use my pronouns and insist on calling me girl, woman, lady, sister.
As a trans guy I love seeing trans fems being represented in things because I feel like there isn’t enough representation for them in things. A lot of representation is for trans guys which is also amazing but it needs to be equal representation.
The funny thing is I always feel like transmascs don’t get talked about enough or enough of a spotlight, but then I never find any media for transfems xD I think the best solution is just everyone needs more representation lol Definitely agree!
@@Nienna_AsyareI know that nobody in the trans community gets enough representation I just personally see more trans masc things because I’m a trans masc and seeing good trans fem representation that isn’t them getting sh!t on just makes me happy
It is a hard road for a trans person that the privileged who taste their freedom everyday will never be able to understand. It is a dying feeling inside because I lived this life and continue to live it. I am a trans man and I am currently on testosterone for a year and a half now. Before all of it, I've had a pretty conservative family who didn't believe in transgenderism as a thing. This was years ago, after YEARRRRRSSS and years of trying to hide that side of myself and bury it down to pretend it didn't exist, I dated guys as well to stray away from the lifestyle and my true sexuality, I tried so hard to be a "girl". Each time I denied myself, it buried me deeper and deeper into a hole of depression because I was trying to be something I truly was not and had never felt like or comfortable in. This is something the privileged will never get, those who scream at me and call me mentally ill just because they don't understand anything about it like most bullies do. But I stand strong and confident in my position today. My parents now fully support me and have supported me for years and educated themselves in it and understand it much better than most people do now of days. Because they did the work and put in the effort to educate themselves on it. None of us are conservative anymore either, we are independent because tbh, we see that both parties are a trap to keep you inside one label. We simply see the grey in between the black and the white and that is always the best way to be. To see all sides. That is the balance of life. I understand the crippling dysphoria. At 2:14 is when I truly teared up because I understand how hard it is to be inside the closet and have everyone around you, even your closest of family, not know about it. I am MUUUUCHHHH happier now today than I ever was before and I am thriving and not everyone can stand that because my existence proving I am fully happy with my transition blows transphobic people's logic out of the water because it's something they do not have to experience or go through or walk in the shoes of said person. With all my life experience, all the "coincidence" in my life growing up, my mom who REALLY thought I was a boy when she was pregnant with me and was SHOCKED when I was born female at birth, with all the emotions I had felt growing up, even things as simple as me saying "one day I'm going to be a boy!" with a gigantic smile on my face when I had boys clothing on when I was a child... it was a feeling I could never explain until I was older. see my mom really truly thought that I was a boy when I was inside her tummy, it's like she felt it inside of me through her own body when she carried me. I also heard this was some other mothers experience when being pregnant with their trans child. I now have tons of research I've done on the biology and science behind it and am far more educated on it and I am happy to be a trans man today. We are going through ALOT now of days with the murders happening ,the suicides due to the bills, the mistreatment we get on a DAILY fucking basis from ignorant people. We FOUGHT to be ourselves and we FOUGHT for our place here and I will continue fighting for my freedom of expression and I will not stand complicit in my people's eradication and erasure. Trans people exist and they are valid, get used to it. Don't like it? Kiss my ass. Happy Pride Month loves
I'm not trans but I can feel your pain. You made me tear up. I'm so happy your family finally get to understand you. I wish everyone who knows someone of trans could do researches like this
as a genderqueer christian, i feel this. that song at the end has always been one of my favorites and almost always brings me to tears knowing that i am loved in the eyes of God
Its the fact that parents actually do this type of shit. Man, i had to take a break from watching this bc i got so pissed at the dad. Great short film tho 10/10
I love this so much, because it warms my heart to know that there are Christian people out there that don’t hate trans people. They see them as God seems them, someone who deserves love regardless of gender or sexuality.
"I'm supposed to be cute & girly, but I'm disgusting & have nothing to wear!" I heard this is what cis women feel like during puberty, and I gotta say... I sympathize 🥺
I resonate with literally all of this. Conservative parents who were unsupportive at first. Trying desperately hard to cover these feelings with hypermasculine pursuits. Wearing makeup in secret. Even down to playing house and wanting to be the mom (or the baby where gender didn't matter but I always conceived of myself as a little girl in that role). Feeling like I was the only one who had these feelings and wondering why I had them. Feeling ashamed. Fortunately for me I found a supportive community and my parents eventually came around. I recognize how lucky I am and that many aren't so lucky. My heart breaks for Emma and I hope she finds the love and support she deserves. I'm glad her girlfriend is supportive. This is a beautiful film and thank you for making it!
Really enjoyed your work. I’m a 73 yr old in Northern California and live as a woman 99% of the time. The 1% of the time is when simply being discreet is needed for whatever reason. Again,very enjoyable and shows both love and prejudice are strong emotions.
I grew up in a conservative christian environment that was openly anti lgbt. I was already being taught how bad lgbt people were and how evil being lgbt was when I was a child. I knew I was different at a young age. By 8 I had already started to experience gender incongruence in a major way. I had already been taught that I was evil for being like that. I held it in until 14 when I tried to come out and was pushed back into the closet. That caused me long running psychological damage. I went through a pray the gay away phase for several years. I became so desperate I resorted to flagellation. God and Jesus never helped me. I live with damage to my body and mind that may never fully heal. I didn't break out of enough hateful indoctrination to fully be myself and transition until 29. The damage is done and I am the one that has to live with it.
Oh my word... I am so sorry. The prolonged pain you've endured must feel so difficult! Just know you are worthy of peace even after all this time. Try connecting more with your child self and find the things that heal your soul most. You deserve better for yourself from now on. ❤❤
@Watermarker thank you. I'm not going to be able to fully heal until the physical aspect has been corrected. I need a lot of corrective surgery that I wouldn't have needed if I wasn't pushed back into the closet. I'm years away from having what I need. Time is a factor and transitioning later can limit how effective hrt is. There is very little help that trans people get in this process.
@@Maelstrome123 I agree it can be so difficult to navigate on your own and there are few detailed resources. My biggest tips are to get on SRS surgery wait-lists now because they can take a long time. And HRT can do wonders over years, for everything besides bone structure. I avoid certain foods since they mess with my hormones levels like grapefruit, garlic etc. And make sure you choose a blocker which is better than Spiro, like Cyproterone, Bicalutamide, or Lupron. Since Spiro will just decrease your sodium and make you have to use the restroom often and it's not that effective. Injections are also more stable than pills, and if you do them always take blood tests on the day of/before your next dose or else doctors will claim your levels are too high. And voice/keeping your spirits up can help not being mistaken as a male in the world. There are so many tips but we girls need to stick together. You can be free one day! 🦋
@Watermarker I have been on hrt for 5 years. I am reaching the limit of hrt. All that it can do for me now is a bit more fat redistribution. I'm on bica and injection and have been for years. I need much more than srs. I have a very masculine bone structure. I can pass. That is not the issue. I do voice training and work with the public face to face and over the phone. My voice needs work, but when I get misgendered or clocked, it is my face and frame that do it. I need ffs,ba and hip surgery to make up for the detrimental development I went through. Hrt is not enough for some people. The financial aid to help trans people with surgery is very limited. I have insurance but it will not help enough if I can't find surgeons that take it or provide the services that I need. Your post will be good for any trans person that is starting off that finds it. I'm going to get what I need eventually. I'm just going to be closer to 40 with over half my life behind me. The church and Christian community hurt me and they won't be the ones to help me.
I understand why you left christianity. It sounds like it has done a LOT of damage. I wish there weren't people who did that, who used the bible and their beliefs against us (I'm an enby). It feels so wrong. I hope you can heal. I know this won't help, but no matter what- gotd still loves you. It's horrible what those conservatives did to you. I support you. Just know that you are loved, supported- even if its not by those shitty "biological family". Stay safe out there!
This made me cry! I relate to her so much. I'm an enby who feels like I don't belong. I believe in god, and knows he loves me but I also know people use the bible and god as a way to hate others. I've seen it online, but haven't experienced it myself. My mom and my friends are supportive but I know if I came out to certain family members, they wouldn't be. Thanks for posting this! Especially with that loving music at the end and the message that you are loved no matter what. That god still loves you... It means a lot
YES FINALLY TRANS GIRL REP. my friend is a closeted trans girl, and its hard because she still presents so masculine, and hasnt come out to anyone. It's so hard and we need to represent them more so they can be supported and loved. Its so har when the misgendering and typical masculine stereotype pushes so forcfeully,
GOD will always love you the way you were created. The decision you make today is not in his hands but in yours. You decide how much this can fulfill your purpose and make you happy in the long run.
I can relate so much to the parents reaction… mine reacted very similar and told me that I am not they son anymore and that I have to go with 18 (since the law don’t allow them to kick me out now) I ended up being extremely depressed they told me every day that I am very going to be a girl and it drived me crazy, to stop them I just told them that it was a phase so they just stop. But even since then I am not they son and I don’t know what to do… can anybody give me advice please, that would be amazing thank you so much for reading
the fear as a trans person when the dad walked in on her putting makeup on. dude. had to click away and take a break. and im a trans man so i was just relating it to the fear when my mom found out i was trans from looking through my phone.
Maya Wilkinson thank you so much for being the best person who made miserable people like me feel that warm thanks to you only thank you so much for everything ❤ I wish you have a very lovely happy life for your pure heart ❤ regardless of how's your personality might look like I'm praying for you from all over my heart
What the dad said to his kid was just so heartbreaking, and it honestly makes me think of how my dad will treat me when I come out to him, because he's just so hardheaded and rude, he's abusive, racist and homophobic and I'm just scared of how he will treat me when I tell him.
As a trans person this is really accurate and I love how the film was a trans woman not a trans man because I am a trans woman and most of these short films are trans men lol, great film and very accurate at least to me, “ WE NEED TO PREY THIS AWAY” can I prey you away
God doesn't hate gays. I am also a gay, eversince I was a child, I am attracted to boys and I taught I am really made this way. But God found me wayback 2020 thru a Christian friend who is also a former part of the LGBT community - she is a lesbian. But she make me feel that I am not judged by God. That He loves me the same way He loves straight people. Jesus loves all people, no matter who they are. Homosexuality isn't the only sin in the Bible that is mentioned. Infact, it is not heavily mentioned just as we think it is. There are so few specific verses in the Bible that tells that this sin is abominable to God. The most mentioned sin there is "idolatry" "proud heart" and "lying". So it doesn't matter if someone is homosexual, in God's eyes, we are all the same. We sinned, straight or not. And Jesus died on the cross to take our punishment. We only need to accept His offer of free salvation and decide to follow Him and glorify Him in our lives. Doing these things aren't boring. Infact, it is what the human heart have been so longing for to do. To do what make our Creator happy. He made us for Himself, so we are ought to live for Him. And living for Him brings us the unfathomable joy and peace that no worldly material can ever give. I am a living testimony of that truth. I am a former gay who met God and is now being transformed by His incredible love. It is important to know that living for God as a gay or lesbian doesn't mean you must strive to change yourself to be straight. Change should not be forced. It only needs to be felt along the process. The love of God will motivate you to change yourself on your own desire. On your own will. Because thats how love works. You will do anything to make the one you love be happy. And if God will be happy to see me moving and thinking like a real man, then I will do my best to be act like that - no pressure, just pure love. ❤
i want to find christianity agian. it just chucked me out. the church i grew up in aand still forced to go to are very discrimatory of everyone different. so like non white, disabled, lgbtq etc. its fuckin horrendeous. im so happy that its a realigion that a place of refuge for alot of people tho
at first i was like “oh he’s trans” then i was like “OH SHES A GIRL” its so nice to see trans girls being represented.
@@KadePix3L honestly, i do halfway agree with your reply. there are aspects of media where both sides are underrepresented and there are aspects of media where one is represented more than the other. while it may feel like there are a lot more girls being represented in trans media, i feel that’s because media tends to lean more on the feminine side of things. i don’t know what kind of media you see, but at least, the kind i see tends to have a lot more trans guys than trans girls. this isn’t meant to call you wrong in any way, just explaining my perspective. :3
@@neriothefurry yeah, i understand that
Worked with a trans dude whose family attend a local Lutheran church. Grandma tells the pastor (sorry for using former pronouns but I'm quoting directly): "Knock some sense into her!"
Pastor takes the dude into his office and says that he's always welcome and will always be loved and respected for who he is.
I grew up with this pastor, and he's always been a positive guiding force to every kid he's been around.
I'm not even religious, but not all people like him are monsters. Many care about those in their community to a FAULT.
God, I wish I had a church like that! All I ever seen in every church I went to was hate for LGBTQIA+ and it made me turn away religion and question everything
@@DinosaurNick I'm atheist since I reject religion for myself, but if you are religious there *are* churches which are either queer or queer friendly/accepting - all the best finding your place.
@@1337Shockwav3 I'm agnostic now but thanks!
“Boyfriend or girlfriend, it doesn’t matter. You’ll always be my person.” 😭😭😭
That line got me all teary eyed
@@Cr1sscr0ssaplesawc3 same
These are my thoughts and words❤❤love has no gender and do living beings, souls
Beautiful words😘
Very touching 😢
I like how much attention is given to all the gendered terms like "Son" and "Boy", as a trans girl myself it really does sound that way when someone misgenders me. Like these words are just repeated over and over.
As a trans boy. “Sister” “daughter” and “girl” gives me the same shitty feeling. It really ruins your day.
Yeah they really conveyed that well, feel the same as a transmasc
Agender, and same.
@@gummynoodles9036real, you’re incredibly real for that, as a transmasc myself
As a trans woman myself, each time that she was called " Man" or " son" It hit me Like a sledgehammer to the skull. I cringed seeing her reactions to it.
So many of these things are about trans boys (which is great, we love trans boys here) so it so refreshing to see a trans girl
Realest
Right i thought the same!
@@madeby.Mylo1 Love your profile picture
i felt every "son" and "boy" in my bones
Yup... same here.
Im not even trans and it felt painful/wrong 😭
the way she was looking in the mirror trying to see how bad it is is just so well played by the actor , they actually know how this feels
"youre not my son anymore" ofc, shes your daughter
that's what I was thinking
I love this comment
@@ToastExists SAME
This made me cry. I'd love to see a part 2 to this to see her transition glow up and if she finally gets to be happy
Well, as a trans Fem Christian with affirming friends and non affirming family, this one hit me in the feels. I have literally cried out those same words to God.
One christian trans woman to another, I felt that ending in my soul
i love seeing a christian related trans film, its so difficult being both, but no matter what anyone says about how much he disagrees with you, he literally tells us to come as we are- i'm coming as i am with all my heart
i myself and a trans christian and it’s so hard
omg other trans Christians? heyyy
God did not give you a body destroy it and pretend to be something you are not. You dont need surgeries to be yourself.
@@prince_caspiian hey!! we're not the only trans Christians, thank God for that :)
It is nice to just know more of you are out there. I live in a small ish town and am the only one in the whole town. Everyone else left God because of how aweful many christians have been.
I’m a trans guy who grew up Christian and at the end when they played that song I instanted bursted out in tears, I’ve always liked Christian music so some extent but always felt horrible if I played it since the ppl who would sing that hated me but seeing it used in this just made me cry
I'm a christain,and we accept you,we don't hate you,we love the person,and hate the sins. It's ok,we love you...I promise.
Same
It's so nice that she has so wonderful girlfriend, someome, with whom she can be herself and feel like home. It's beautiful
"We can pray this away"
"if your not my son you're nothing to me"😭
" you're not my son anymore "😫
That crushed me
father is the worst person ever ngl
L dad
well she isnt his son. she is his daughter
holy this is so goddamn accurate to my experience, I too have stolen my sister's makeup and clothes because I wanted to be like her.
sameeeeee
weird mfs
Ha, I kinda did this before, don't really know why though.
So I used to sleep with my sister on her room, and one week, she went to a friend's home, my family was asleep, and I was on my sister's room alone all night, so I kinda decided to try her lipstick (as it was the easier thing to take off), and then well, I just took it off and decided to go to sleep.
I don't think I'm trans, I thought about it once or twice, but nah, probably was just curious, anyways, uhhhhh... It was a good night 👍
Because being a women is all about makeup, right guys?
"What are you trying to do, embarrass me?". My wife has said this to me many times. The hurt and pain is so intense.
Thank you for putting this out here for others to see.❤
When she told her about how she remembered that she always wanted to be the mom when they played house, I really felt that, because I always wanted to be the dad or brother and I’m a trans dude
I literally started crying bc I tried saying this too my mom that I want too be. Boy ut she said she birthed me ND I am her daughter
I'm sorry you went through that. I never got to tell my Mom I'm LGBTQIA+ she died last year from cancer. My Dad is upset I want to change my name. My siblings refuse to use my pronouns and insist on calling me girl, woman, lady, sister.
As a trans guy I love seeing trans fems being represented in things because I feel like there isn’t enough representation for them in things. A lot of representation is for trans guys which is also amazing but it needs to be equal representation.
The funny thing is I always feel like transmascs don’t get talked about enough or enough of a spotlight, but then I never find any media for transfems xD
I think the best solution is just everyone needs more representation lol
Definitely agree!
@@Nienna_AsyareI know that nobody in the trans community gets enough representation I just personally see more trans masc things because I’m a trans masc and seeing good trans fem representation that isn’t them getting sh!t on just makes me happy
dude as a transmasc Christian this hit me HARDDD. you say playing at the end?? chills.
This is incredible! From the screen writing, to the filming and editing. So talented Lilly!
It is a hard road for a trans person that the privileged who taste their freedom everyday will never be able to understand. It is a dying feeling inside because I lived this life and continue to live it. I am a trans man and I am currently on testosterone for a year and a half now. Before all of it, I've had a pretty conservative family who didn't believe in transgenderism as a thing. This was years ago, after YEARRRRRSSS and years of trying to hide that side of myself and bury it down to pretend it didn't exist, I dated guys as well to stray away from the lifestyle and my true sexuality, I tried so hard to be a "girl". Each time I denied myself, it buried me deeper and deeper into a hole of depression because I was trying to be something I truly was not and had never felt like or comfortable in. This is something the privileged will never get, those who scream at me and call me mentally ill just because they don't understand anything about it like most bullies do. But I stand strong and confident in my position today. My parents now fully support me and have supported me for years and educated themselves in it and understand it much better than most people do now of days. Because they did the work and put in the effort to educate themselves on it. None of us are conservative anymore either, we are independent because tbh, we see that both parties are a trap to keep you inside one label. We simply see the grey in between the black and the white and that is always the best way to be. To see all sides. That is the balance of life.
I understand the crippling dysphoria. At 2:14 is when I truly teared up because I understand how hard it is to be inside the closet and have everyone around you, even your closest of family, not know about it. I am MUUUUCHHHH happier now today than I ever was before and I am thriving and not everyone can stand that because my existence proving I am fully happy with my transition blows transphobic people's logic out of the water because it's something they do not have to experience or go through or walk in the shoes of said person. With all my life experience, all the "coincidence" in my life growing up, my mom who REALLY thought I was a boy when she was pregnant with me and was SHOCKED when I was born female at birth, with all the emotions I had felt growing up, even things as simple as me saying "one day I'm going to be a boy!" with a gigantic smile on my face when I had boys clothing on when I was a child... it was a feeling I could never explain until I was older. see my mom really truly thought that I was a boy when I was inside her tummy, it's like she felt it inside of me through her own body when she carried me. I also heard this was some other mothers experience when being pregnant with their trans child. I now have tons of research I've done on the biology and science behind it and am far more educated on it and I am happy to be a trans man today.
We are going through ALOT now of days with the murders happening ,the suicides due to the bills, the mistreatment we get on a DAILY fucking basis from ignorant people. We FOUGHT to be ourselves and we FOUGHT for our place here and I will continue fighting for my freedom of expression and I will not stand complicit in my people's eradication and erasure. Trans people exist and they are valid, get used to it. Don't like it? Kiss my ass.
Happy Pride Month loves
I'm not trans but I can feel your pain. You made me tear up. I'm so happy your family finally get to understand you. I wish everyone who knows someone of trans could do researches like this
I swear this girl can put lipstick on better during her (i think) first time ever than I can after years of doing my sister's makeup
That was a very sweet ending. "You will always be my person" really struck a cord.
This hits hard, the song at the end and just the feelings.
yeah I was sobbing 😭
as a genderqueer christian, i feel this. that song at the end has always been one of my favorites and almost always brings me to tears knowing that i am loved in the eyes of God
Its the fact that parents actually do this type of shit. Man, i had to take a break from watching this bc i got so pissed at the dad. Great short film tho 10/10
cried watching this
i dont think ive found anything this relatable before
When your plea to god stops being "Please save me" and more "COME DOWN AND *FACE* ME YOU *COWARD* "
I love this so much, because it warms my heart to know that there are Christian people out there that don’t hate trans people. They see them as God seems them, someone who deserves love regardless of gender or sexuality.
"I'm supposed to be cute & girly, but I'm disgusting & have nothing to wear!"
I heard this is what cis women feel like during puberty, and I gotta say... I sympathize 🥺
I resonate with literally all of this. Conservative parents who were unsupportive at first. Trying desperately hard to cover these feelings with hypermasculine pursuits. Wearing makeup in secret. Even down to playing house and wanting to be the mom (or the baby where gender didn't matter but I always conceived of myself as a little girl in that role). Feeling like I was the only one who had these feelings and wondering why I had them. Feeling ashamed. Fortunately for me I found a supportive community and my parents eventually came around. I recognize how lucky I am and that many aren't so lucky. My heart breaks for Emma and I hope she finds the love and support she deserves. I'm glad her girlfriend is supportive. This is a beautiful film and thank you for making it!
Really enjoyed your work. I’m a 73 yr old in Northern California and live as a woman 99% of the time. The 1% of the time is when simply being discreet is needed for whatever reason. Again,very enjoyable and shows both love and prejudice are strong emotions.
Refreshing to finally see some trans girl representation! -A cis ally.
Happy pride month 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
The fight with her father makes me remember when my father told me if you keep with "that" I would better change my lastname.
I'm not trans, but bisexual and that scene really hits me
I grew up in a conservative christian environment that was openly anti lgbt. I was already being taught how bad lgbt people were and how evil being lgbt was when I was a child. I knew I was different at a young age. By 8 I had already started to experience gender incongruence in a major way. I had already been taught that I was evil for being like that. I held it in until 14 when I tried to come out and was pushed back into the closet. That caused me long running psychological damage. I went through a pray the gay away phase for several years. I became so desperate I resorted to flagellation. God and Jesus never helped me. I live with damage to my body and mind that may never fully heal. I didn't break out of enough hateful indoctrination to fully be myself and transition until 29. The damage is done and I am the one that has to live with it.
Oh my word... I am so sorry. The prolonged pain you've endured must feel so difficult! Just know you are worthy of peace even after all this time. Try connecting more with your child self and find the things that heal your soul most. You deserve better for yourself from now on. ❤❤
@Watermarker thank you.
I'm not going to be able to fully heal until the physical aspect has been corrected. I need a lot of corrective surgery that I wouldn't have needed if I wasn't pushed back into the closet. I'm years away from having what I need. Time is a factor and transitioning later can limit how effective hrt is. There is very little help that trans people get in this process.
@@Maelstrome123 I agree it can be so difficult to navigate on your own and there are few detailed resources. My biggest tips are to get on SRS surgery wait-lists now because they can take a long time. And HRT can do wonders over years, for everything besides bone structure. I avoid certain foods since they mess with my hormones levels like grapefruit, garlic etc. And make sure you choose a blocker which is better than Spiro, like Cyproterone, Bicalutamide, or Lupron. Since Spiro will just decrease your sodium and make you have to use the restroom often and it's not that effective. Injections are also more stable than pills, and if you do them always take blood tests on the day of/before your next dose or else doctors will claim your levels are too high. And voice/keeping your spirits up can help not being mistaken as a male in the world. There are so many tips but we girls need to stick together. You can be free one day! 🦋
@Watermarker I have been on hrt for 5 years. I am reaching the limit of hrt. All that it can do for me now is a bit more fat redistribution. I'm on bica and injection and have been for years. I need much more than srs. I have a very masculine bone structure. I can pass. That is not the issue. I do voice training and work with the public face to face and over the phone. My voice needs work, but when I get misgendered or clocked, it is my face and frame that do it.
I need ffs,ba and hip surgery to make up for the detrimental development I went through. Hrt is not enough for some people. The financial aid to help trans people with surgery is very limited. I have insurance but it will not help enough if I can't find surgeons that take it or provide the services that I need.
Your post will be good for any trans person that is starting off that finds it. I'm going to get what I need eventually. I'm just going to be closer to 40 with over half my life behind me. The church and Christian community hurt me and they won't be the ones to help me.
I understand why you left christianity. It sounds like it has done a LOT of damage. I wish there weren't people who did that, who used the bible and their beliefs against us (I'm an enby). It feels so wrong. I hope you can heal. I know this won't help, but no matter what- gotd still loves you. It's horrible what those conservatives did to you. I support you. Just know that you are loved, supported- even if its not by those shitty "biological family". Stay safe out there!
When she was looking in the mirror, I felt that.
i’m so happy to see a mtf film! i love ftm ones, but i rarely see any trans girl representation!
The Christian songs at the end hit really hard…
love to see that there are people who support and love everybody, no natter what.
It costs nothing to be a good person.
I wish I had a person to sit and hug like that
church and queerness - i need this so deeply
I wish more christians would be supportive. Why is there so much hate? We are in the new covenant, one of love. I'm weary.
Didn't think I'd cry but "And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours" got me
Love it! Beautifully filmed and directed
Ffr !
This made me cry! I relate to her so much. I'm an enby who feels like I don't belong. I believe in god, and knows he loves me but I also know people use the bible and god as a way to hate others. I've seen it online, but haven't experienced it myself. My mom and my friends are supportive but I know if I came out to certain family members, they wouldn't be. Thanks for posting this! Especially with that loving music at the end and the message that you are loved no matter what. That god still loves you... It means a lot
Hi “fellow” Christian enby!
@@DJMetzler337 unfortunately, I thought I was enby--- but I'm just a trans man who tried to change myself, sorry. But hello, Enby!
@@StormsofPeril, my bad. Hi!
@@DJMetzler337 np! Hello
@@DJMetzler337 it's okay! I think my gender is whatever, so call me whatever. I might be genderfluid, lol. Have a great day!
She already had feminine features, trans girls and guys out there, you got my full support ❤ love yourself, i love you all as you are
If only world could understand the feelings of trans person, life would be much easier for them.. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I love the fact that as a minor, my family can't kick me out of the house for being trans
1:21 My mom always keeps telling me the exact same thing too. I'm mtf trans too 🏳️⚧️
The song choice at the end has me sobbing
YES FINALLY TRANS GIRL REP. my friend is a closeted trans girl, and its hard because she still presents so masculine, and hasnt come out to anyone. It's so hard and we need to represent them more so they can be supported and loved. Its so har when the misgendering and typical masculine stereotype pushes so forcfeully,
Has anything gotten better since this comment?
this nearly made me cry it's so beautiful
I wish my family and church were like this I want to transition to a male but my parents almost kicked me out for saying I'm Non- Binary already.
GOD will always love you the way you were created. The decision you make today is not in his hands but in yours. You decide how much this can fulfill your purpose and make you happy in the long run.
I can relate so much to the parents reaction… mine reacted very similar and told me that I am not they son anymore and that I have to go with 18 (since the law don’t allow them to kick me out now) I ended up being extremely depressed they told me every day that I am very going to be a girl and it drived me crazy, to stop them I just told them that it was a phase so they just stop. But even since then I am not they son and I don’t know what to do… can anybody give me advice please, that would be amazing thank you so much for reading
This was so high quality, how do you only have 100 subs???
This is the message for daddy: so I guess you rather have a dead son than a live daughter
For those of you still stuck under your parent’s thumb, it gets better.
the fear as a trans person when the dad walked in on her putting makeup on. dude. had to click away and take a break. and im a trans man so i was just relating it to the fear when my mom found out i was trans from looking through my phone.
Started crying when the song at the end started playing😢😢
I’m a trans girl and I relate to this a ton, the usage of “son” and “boy” is the same what is used for me by my mother.
This hits so hardo n multiple levels. Made me shiver at times, by how accurate it is. Thank you for showing the world how out struggles really are
Thanks. transfemme and to be of some faith is refreshing and is my story. This meant a lot.
comee as you are, as you were
as I want you to bee
as a friend, as a friend
as a known enemy
So amazing
Maya Wilkinson thank you so much for being the best person who made miserable people like me feel that warm thanks to you only thank you so much for everything ❤
I wish you have a very lovely happy life for your pure heart ❤ regardless of how's your personality might look like I'm praying for you from all over my heart
That was beautiful ❤😭😭
this one might be the only one I genuinely cant let gange know I fw
Theyd hate me for even watching this let alone crying to it 😅
I'm not crying you're crying 😭
Me casually: FINALLY AN MTF ONE!!!
amazing
really wish i was a boy right now
Same
I wish we could trade genders
@@FrostNapCat😅I think this will be the best thing in the community🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
you already are then
That seems like something a boy would say. Just sayin'
Literally my experience but mine is much worse 😢
❤️✨
The dad got one thing right, shes not his son anymore
"I thinking the same thing", she said transgenderly
OMG MTF IN COLORADO😮😮😮😮 YEAHAHAHHEHSHABABAHAHHA glad i can relate to her
As a transfem, I find this somewhat-Reasureing
good job lilly
What the dad said to his kid was just so heartbreaking, and it honestly makes me think of how my dad will treat me when I come out to him, because he's just so hardheaded and rude, he's abusive, racist and homophobic and I'm just scared of how he will treat me when I tell him.
Great, now I'm more scared to tell my father TwT
As a trans person this is really accurate and I love how the film was a trans woman not a trans man because I am a trans woman and most of these short films are trans men lol, great film and very accurate at least to me, “ WE NEED TO PREY THIS AWAY” can I prey you away
Bless you x
if there is a god he loves everyone x
Memoria~!
God doesn't hate gays. I am also a gay, eversince I was a child, I am attracted to boys and I taught I am really made this way. But God found me wayback 2020 thru a Christian friend who is also a former part of the LGBT community - she is a lesbian. But she make me feel that I am not judged by God. That He loves me the same way He loves straight people. Jesus loves all people, no matter who they are. Homosexuality isn't the only sin in the Bible that is mentioned. Infact, it is not heavily mentioned just as we think it is. There are so few specific verses in the Bible that tells that this sin is abominable to God. The most mentioned sin there is "idolatry" "proud heart" and "lying". So it doesn't matter if someone is homosexual, in God's eyes, we are all the same. We sinned, straight or not. And Jesus died on the cross to take our punishment. We only need to accept His offer of free salvation and decide to follow Him and glorify Him in our lives. Doing these things aren't boring. Infact, it is what the human heart have been so longing for to do. To do what make our Creator happy. He made us for Himself, so we are ought to live for Him. And living for Him brings us the unfathomable joy and peace that no worldly material can ever give. I am a living testimony of that truth. I am a former gay who met God and is now being transformed by His incredible love.
It is important to know that living for God as a gay or lesbian doesn't mean you must strive to change yourself to be straight. Change should not be forced. It only needs to be felt along the process. The love of God will motivate you to change yourself on your own desire. On your own will. Because thats how love works. You will do anything to make the one you love be happy. And if God will be happy to see me moving and thinking like a real man, then I will do my best to be act like that - no pressure, just pure love. ❤
I love it so much,because of this I don’t feel alone❤️
all I can say is, ow. Well done
i want to find christianity agian. it just chucked me out. the church i grew up in aand still forced to go to are very discrimatory of everyone different. so like non white, disabled, lgbtq etc. its fuckin horrendeous. im so happy that its a realigion that a place of refuge for alot of people tho
I love this soo much🥹
CRYING SM
She should've locked the door, and if it didn't have a lock she should've put something to block it
Didn’t expect to cry that much but ok
Wait so where did the trans girl go after
BRO I WANT THIS
and that's why you gotta wait until you home alone before trying anything on
also transfem rep yayy!! :D
I hate it when parents react like this- we are people with emotions too
Damn
i just thought it was a nirvana tribute
Omg I hate when they put the accessible toilets in the men and women's so I have to choose (gender fluid)