Just to add something: Damon is the name of a “sexy” “bad boy” character in Vampire Diaries, and the Volturi are the “bad guys” in Twilight. I don’t know what this means, but it definitely means something.
@@theab3957No lmao, no 40 year old housewife is enjoying that show or movie franchise nor his content. It’s going to be teenagers and people too young for him, most people that watch twilight and the vampire diaries are young not 40 year olds. 😂
Once this drunk guy at a college party used it and the (equally drunk) chick went “I don’t get it but it sounds hot” and they made out until I left like an hour later
The fact that I was that exact part of the video when I saw this comment so was reading while hearing it now everyone in my class is confused why I just laughed for 5 minutes straight 💀
Fun fact that came to mind during that truly awful “seed” joke Damon made: cherry pits contain a compound that turns to cyanide when digested. But if given the choice between eating my weight in cherry pits and talking to Damon, I’d probably take my chances with the cyanide.
Seeds are also produced by a plant's ovaries. Just gonna drop that there and let everyone come to their own conclusions as to how Damon can possibly get that into a girl's mouth.
@@beansocksrequiem99 Well, only if the cherry pit is damaged. So if you chew on it or grin it or crush it, yes, it'll produce cyanide in your digestive system, otherwise, it's completely harmless.
No hate, I love your videos btw, but Ryan is actually non-binary. He doesn’t talk about it much since he doesn’t care how he’s perceived, but I just thought you should know. :)
I was laughing about this dude at first, but the creeping realization that he'll probs be booked for a sex crime in the near future(or it's discovered he's done so in the past) kinda dampens my joy. 😖
@@JaseekaRawr not all creepy looking people are predators. in fact, looking creepy and being a predator are not correlated. predators tend to look "normal" which is how they get close to victims in the first place.
@@princesstamika I'm not talking about his looks though 😭 Only his actions. But I completely get what you're saying. For example, most child SA happens by family or family friends. Never judge a book by its cover & so on. 😔👍
The "a tongue is a tongue, and badonkadonk is a badonkadonk, add them together and you get a waterfall *wink* *lipbite*" TikTok was both the funniest and most unsettling thing I've ever seen
Istgh this guy is THE BEST male commentary/critique channel on yt that I've come across. He never negatively comments on anyone's physical appearance or makes it a punchline. He comments on things that are problematic and provides the required proof (omg what is this lawyer shit xD). He almost always(?) has a skit/song that acts as a stand-alone critique of that person/behaviour in the most respectful way. Unpopular opinion: He's way better than the more 'famous' male commentary channels. This man can sing, act and drive an important point across while also being coniderate??? SIGN ME UP
Why does Damon adopt the worst possible camera angle for his pear-shaped face? Why does he speak using only his bottom jaw? Was it a botox mishap? I have so many questions...
@@pispipispi7669 :( when that happens watch your favorite commentary TH-cam (a funny video) and just focus on nothing but that and their words. If you don’t laugh enough, find a funnier/better vid. The laughing will allow your brain to release the happy chemicals and calm you a bit. I do this a lot for my (visual stimuli)anxiety. Specifically for if another video triggers your anxiety. More and more people have been having mental breakdowns due to anxiety (even in the smallest forms) so I just wanted to say that if you or anyone needed it, sorry
It is a testament to your musical talent that when you sing his pick up lines they don't make me shutter involuntarily with revulsion. Like they do when spoken.
Honestly, if I was devoting an entire account to flirting/pickup lines/NSFW stuff I'd also make it absolutely, excessively clear my content is not for children, especially when the platform is designed to give extremely easy access to my videos
Yeah I get that, but you’re not taking into account that the majority of his audience IS still children, and he’s made multiple creepy comments to children even though he says it’s for 18+. I don’t want to pass any judgements on the guy. I just think there are a few red flags like I said in the video
I don’t think a single person has made me so uncomfortable before, and I’m a dude, I’m not even his target audience. Women, stay away, Damien is a very frightening man
Hi Ryan. I just discovered your channel. I appreciate your honesty and unbiased approach to journalism. In an age of disinformation channels like this are gold. Thank you from Austin Tx.
HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING YOU PRESENT ON YOUR CHANNEL? i really hope you get very successful on here because your content is amazing and deserves more recognition.
I've been a massive Weird Al fan since the 90s and honestly? You're hitting a very similar vibe except carving out you're own niche. I love this shit and keep up the awesome work.
I've been singing the intense musical version of WAP at home, at work, at my parents house, when I walk the dog... for almost a year now... including the exaggerated, theatric arm movements.
as a gay, i am so glad we have a TRUE ally. some of these fakers are really gonna have to step up their game in showing their support if they wanna compare to this guy.
Its because some women can squirt fairly easily. My partner does every time multiple times. Other can only with certain angles and/or pressure. So up to 54% are capable, but may have never experienced it
How would they even test that? Get a big group of women and try to make them spray? Survey is more likely but how do you know if they can but just never experienced it.
tbf porn gives you a fake idea of what squirting is so it's hard to gauge - a lot of women will be able to but won't think they can and sadly a lot of women who could have probably never experienced that kinda thing ;;
Part of the issue is also that it’s difficult to define and we don’t actually know where it comes or what it actually is, so some studies may be more permissive of what they consider “squirting” while others may only count fluids that contain prostatic fluid.
im watching this while in a lockdown at school, it lifted my mood. also, lets hope they dont find my class👹👹👹 (edit: im so sorry i was late to update, but good news, i survived!)
as a another musician and composer i just wanna congratulate you on your ability to sing absolutely insane shit with a straight face. i'm pretty sure it's the ticket to success.
Mr Beard Sir, please make more hilarious, I mean totally amazing and definitely useful songs at the end of each video. They are brilliant, and you're quite talented at both comedy and music.
"Badonkadonk"
*"Cottage Cheese"*
"Jibber Jabber"
"Jolly Ranchers"
Yes, truly the most alluring words one could ever imagine.
Y e s
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue
Enough of the jibber jabber, bitch.
I'm tryna fuck the cottage cheese out that badonkadonk.
@@MariaMartin-ob7ro this is cursed and funny af at the same time.
shakespeare is quaking
@@MariaMartin-ob7ro 💀
As a human being, this man simultaneously makes me want to cry, eradicate humanity, and also laugh so much I puke.
awe are you feeling okay buddy lmao
Hey hey not EVERY joke hits but personally i think that Mr. Beard guy is pretty cool
@utterly alone please tell me you're an Xbox player🤣
@@weakw1ll Lmao
As an alien being, I agree
The eye filter in all his videos makes it even better
Even worseee😭😭
Ikr
blue in blue eyes, the sign of spice addiction
@@marxmeesterlijk he could be Kwisatz Haderach of house Badonkadonk lover of poop shoots.
i didn't even notice that was a filter, it looks so real :o
Just to add something: Damon is the name of a “sexy” “bad boy” character in Vampire Diaries, and the Volturi are the “bad guys” in Twilight. I don’t know what this means, but it definitely means something.
Yeah it definitely says something about the age of his target audience...
So his name is basically "bad boy bad guy". Seems about right, since he's so bad at flirting.
@@franboos40 year old housewife?
Klaus was an amazing character in the originals.
@@theab3957No lmao, no 40 year old housewife is enjoying that show or movie franchise nor his content. It’s going to be teenagers and people too young for him, most people that watch twilight and the vampire diaries are young not 40 year olds. 😂
As an asexual, it's always great to come across people who can somehow make me even more Asexual.
Your power is rising… it’s overflowing!
if i ever question my identity i have videos like these to fall back on
it's a character you know
I'm not asexyal buy I feel myself becoming ace as I find out more about this dude.
facts.
My personal favourite pickup line is “there’s a party in my pants and your invited. It’s a pool party. I pissed myself.”
Once this drunk guy at a college party used it and the (equally drunk) chick went “I don’t get it but it sounds hot” and they made out until I left like an hour later
DAMN' BABY TH4TS S3XY' AS HELL .
CAN ' I GET THAT NUMB3R SH4WTY . ?
😭😭😭😭
@@cats1970 legend
@@cats1970 Bro succeed the Charisma check😂
ngl the way he says "when the gays are playin' the poop shoot is payin' " is incredibly funny to me
Its gonna be in my head all day dude
I mean he's not wrong
The fact that I was that exact part of the video when I saw this comment so was reading while hearing it
now everyone in my class is confused why I just laughed for 5 minutes straight 💀
@@GiGitteru he is though. That’s not really how gay sex works lol
@@arandomhumanbeing2464 I mean. Even if the person preps, there can still be pain/discomfort afterwards. So yeah, the sentence ain’t wrong.
Fun fact that came to mind during that truly awful “seed” joke Damon made: cherry pits contain a compound that turns to cyanide when digested. But if given the choice between eating my weight in cherry pits and talking to Damon, I’d probably take my chances with the cyanide.
well shit
Seeds are also produced by a plant's ovaries. Just gonna drop that there and let everyone come to their own conclusions as to how Damon can possibly get that into a girl's mouth.
I think the cyanide only comes out when the pit/seed is crushed or grinded, so you’d probably be safe. So cherry pits all the way my dude
@@beansocksrequiem99 Well, only if the cherry pit is damaged. So if you chew on it or grin it or crush it, yes, it'll produce cyanide in your digestive system, otherwise, it's completely harmless.
@utterly alone yes, hence the “eating my weight in cherry pits” part. :)
I love how Mr. Beards face is just screaming "Uncomfortable"
Whenever he reacts to any of the 'pick up lines'
LOL yeah everyone cringes at the guy but whole video I'm watching Beard's face and laughing
6:41 i'm high as fuck and the lip bite scared me so badly i literally flinched because i didn't expect it 😭😭😭😭
Mr beard you seem like a very lovely young man
No hate, I love your videos btw, but Ryan is actually non-binary. He doesn’t talk about it much since he doesn’t care how he’s perceived, but I just thought you should know. :)
@@friskdreemurr2663 wouldn't you use They/Them instead of He/him then? (No hate, just confused)
@@anone____0 not all nb folks use they/them
@@friskdreemurr2663 where did he say that? I don't mean that in an accusatory way, just curious.
@@friskdreemurr2663 but... mr beard
Do you ever see someone who makes you feel an emotion which feels physiologically identical to the poop sweats?
You put it into words! That is the exact emotion this was inspiring in me!
oh my god its in words
don't let him hear you say that, he might take that as an invitation
"poop sweats"...!?
If he sees this, he's definitely taking a sh*t in your badonkadonk 😩
I hope this one ends with a Sienna Mae style apology from this guy.
the hand chops especially
The dance would be perfect
I was laughing about this dude at first, but the creeping realization that he'll probs be booked for a sex crime in the near future(or it's discovered he's done so in the past) kinda dampens my joy. 😖
@@JaseekaRawr not all creepy looking people are predators. in fact, looking creepy and being a predator are not correlated. predators tend to look "normal" which is how they get close to victims in the first place.
@@princesstamika I'm not talking about his looks though 😭 Only his actions. But I completely get what you're saying. For example, most child SA happens by family or family friends. Never judge a book by its cover & so on. 😔👍
As a girl, I must say these pick-up lines are having an effect on me.
I want to clarify, not a good effect. But an effect.
😂
I never got creeped out this much in my life.
This dude does truly gave me the jibberjabbers with his jollyranchers talk
Hhhh
The "a tongue is a tongue, and badonkadonk is a badonkadonk, add them together and you get a waterfall *wink* *lipbite*" TikTok was both the funniest and most unsettling thing I've ever seen
When he said "badonkadonk" not once, but *twice*, I'm pretty sure my soul died
Like just say ass at this point it would actually sound better
@@Nitrolord SAME IM CRYING
I literally cannot fucking handle it why does he talk like that AND IT DOESNT EVEN RHYME
Same
@@schnoz2372 that sounds like something I’d tell my friend as a joke
I didn’t know that I could be any more sure that I’m a lesbian
right I'm spraying everywhere rn
I'm bi but this dude makes me question everything
I wish I weren't attracted to men 😭
I'm a grey ace and usually sexuality is very confusing for me but I know for a FACT that I'm not attracted to him.
Sometimes I worry I'm a little gay. Not today though
As a lesbian I'm so glad to have an ally like him on our side. Finally we get representation where it counts 🏳️🌈💕
😐
@@ourhistory8292 …
The sarcasm lmaoo
@@ourhistory8292 ?
@@ourhistory8292 what is the matter? So what? she likes the same gender who cares, we are humans.
Istgh this guy is THE BEST male commentary/critique channel on yt that I've come across. He never negatively comments on anyone's physical appearance or makes it a punchline. He comments on things that are problematic and provides the required proof (omg what is this lawyer shit xD). He almost always(?) has a skit/song that acts as a stand-alone critique of that person/behaviour in the most respectful way.
Unpopular opinion: He's way better than the more 'famous' male commentary channels.
This man can sing, act and drive an important point across while also being coniderate??? SIGN ME UP
🥲 thank you so much for this
@@RyanBeard yeah ofc! Keep up the good work! ❤️✨
Why does Damon adopt the worst possible camera angle for his pear-shaped face? Why does he speak using only his bottom jaw? Was it a botox mishap? I have so many questions...
This man makes me feel I need to shower
He makes me want to fall in a deep coma to escape his horrible disgusting ''pick up lines'' and his creepy stare :'(
I don't really want to take my clothes off after watching this
My anxiety levels are off the charts D:
@@pispipispi7669 :( when that happens watch your favorite commentary TH-cam (a funny video) and just focus on nothing but that and their words. If you don’t laugh enough, find a funnier/better vid. The laughing will allow your brain to release the happy chemicals and calm you a bit. I do this a lot for my (visual stimuli)anxiety. Specifically for if another video triggers your anxiety. More and more people have been having mental breakdowns due to anxiety (even in the smallest forms) so I just wanted to say that if you or anyone needed it, sorry
@@pispipispi7669 LMFAO ME TOO 😨😨
This song sounds like the opening of a niche K-Drama and I'm into it. Top tier content once again.
Reply 1988 or hospital playlist vibes :)
i hate how right you are
LMFAOOO this is so true😭😭
Coffee Prince vibes 👀 if you know that drama I love you
How is this so accurate omg?!?
How do I cleanse my mind, body, and soul of this abomination? I am physically repulsed by this man on a level that cannot be described in words
My genitals clamped themselves tightly shut at the mere sight of him
Bathe in holy water at this point.
"Oh look, Damon is an LGBT ally" had me in tears.
It is a testament to your musical talent that when you sing his pick up lines they don't make me shutter involuntarily with revulsion. Like they do when spoken.
I truly believe this man is trolling and if he’s not I’m really concerned
i dont think he is 😭😭
@@rei7916 He 100% definitely is.
@@rei7916 It's impossible to know, but I'm confident this is just a master troll.
@@DeathPetalArt This is satire. That's so fucking obvious from literally the first roll.
He is satire, you can tell when you read the way he replies to people who comment on his posts lol.
The fact that he's so confident simultaneously makes his videos hilarious but also disgusting.
It's satire.
I think it's satire.
nice pfp
His pickup lines are genuinely making my anxiety spike.
Also, this song is number 1 on iTunes in my heart
The song immediately came when I saw ur comment 😭
He's not just physically unattractive, weird, awkward, and off-putting... he also just has legitimately bad/scary/gross vibes.
It feels like he's playing a weird Uncle character but I know this is just how he is
at one point i screamed and recoiled from my screen, i wonder if this dude uses the eye filter to hide how many times he's been pepper sprayed today
Oh my god- 😭😭
Honestly, if I was devoting an entire account to flirting/pickup lines/NSFW stuff I'd also make it absolutely, excessively clear my content is not for children, especially when the platform is designed to give extremely easy access to my videos
I don't hink any normal person seeing this type of content would think "YEAH this seems like it's made for children"
Yeah I get that, but you’re not taking into account that the majority of his audience IS still children, and he’s made multiple creepy comments to children even though he says it’s for 18+. I don’t want to pass any judgements on the guy. I just think there are a few red flags like I said in the video
@@RyanBeard You did the research, my man, I trust ya. Also I guess tiktok is predominantly younger folk, yeah?Statement recanted.
NSFW stuff shouldn’t be on a site that’s really for children though, don’t we think?
this guy follows me and I clearly had my age in the bio. I'm only 16 😐😐. I just stopped posting cause hes creepy
"when the gays are playin' the poop shoot is payin' " is the best thing ever
The song actually slaps tho, such an underrated youtuber
I'm actually angry at myself for not knowing about this account until yesterday. He is funny as f*** and I really love the musical stuff.❤
I love when musically skilled people, especially when they can play instruments, use their powers for chaos.
As a gay male I think I can speak for all of us when I say I am honoured to have him as our ally! 🏳️🌈❤️
Dont worry Beard. You an alpha 🙏
Sigma alpha
no he isnt
Sigma alpha omega Sagittarius male🥵
can’t tell if them saying they have a girlfriend at the end is still a reference to chloe or actually just the truth
Chloe is my girlfriend haha
does mr beard go by they/them??
@@userhasnousername I go by any pronouns
@@RyanBeard pogchamp
@@RyanBeard Legend
I hate how all the different “badonkadonks” overlap at 5:38.
I literally read your comment right as that part was playing 🤣
that was transcendent
Badonkadonkadonkadonkadonk
Honestly I found it oddly satisfying💀
0:56 like that filter is smt else it scared me ngl
0:23
23 seconds into the video and this is already the funniest thing I've ever seen
How that song can sound so nice and pleasant while the lyrics are so many levels of ew is quite impressive.
There's no chance he isn't a satire account, regardless, our man is a treasure
Of course he is, how people can be so naive and take him seriously??
Agreed no one can say such retarded shit with so much confidence seriously
@@erichooper2794 hm idk I work in customer service and people tend to do that a lot actually haha
@@erichooper2794 I'm actually kind of upset. I understand where the satire is coming from and who it is directed at, so he doesn't deserve the hate.
@@erichooper2794 please don't use the r-word. It's rooted in the eugenics of disabled people.
Thanks
- an autistic person
All jokes aside, Mr Beard actually has a really good voice, very clean, he doesn't put any force into the vocals. Good job!
I don’t think a single person has made me so uncomfortable before, and I’m a dude, I’m not even his target audience. Women, stay away, Damien is a very frightening man
Hi Ryan. I just discovered your channel. I appreciate your honesty and unbiased approach to journalism. In an age of disinformation channels like this are gold.
Thank you from Austin Tx.
i genuinely love how beard combines his new hilarious commentary to his immense musical talent. such an incredibly underrated person
HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING YOU PRESENT ON YOUR CHANNEL? i really hope you get very successful on here because your content is amazing and deserves more recognition.
I've been a massive Weird Al fan since the 90s and honestly? You're hitting a very similar vibe except carving out you're own niche. I love this shit and keep up the awesome work.
6:06 so true, i hate it when they tell me to stop my jibberjabber
i RACED to spotify as soon as he said the song was available to listen to. thank you mr beard.
What an absolute jammer at the end
Okay so this song is going to get stuck in my head. I'm going to sing it out aloud and get in trouble with librarian...again
I've been singing the intense musical version of WAP at home, at work, at my parents house, when I walk the dog... for almost a year now... including the exaggerated, theatric arm movements.
I know this is what you wanted people to say, but AGAIN?
i dont know why but Damon looks like Oli London gone very very wrong...
Considering how Oli looks now, that’s impressive.
They sound alike
I KNOW RIHTHT
Straight Oily london looks terrifying
So... Oli London now?
The worst thing about all of this is how CATCHY the song is. I know what I will have stuck in my head all day xD
the song was such an emotional rollercoaster
Can we just appreciate that Ryan is actually a very talented pianist
as a gay, i am so glad we have a TRUE ally. some of these fakers are really gonna have to step up their game in showing their support if they wanna compare to this guy.
He looks like Stephen Crowder, Nicocado Avocado, and a robot all combined
OMG you're right l ok l
Omg that slurp sound with mouth zoom in made me physically step away from my laptop LOL
This guy looks like the result of a Sims character creator randomizer gone wrong
He's so talented and I love his sense of humor
10-54%? I know this is a little off the topic but that seems like too big of a range to call it a scientific conclusion.
Its because some women can squirt fairly easily. My partner does every time multiple times. Other can only with certain angles and/or pressure. So up to 54% are capable, but may have never experienced it
How would they even test that? Get a big group of women and try to make them spray? Survey is more likely but how do you know if they can but just never experienced it.
tbf porn gives you a fake idea of what squirting is so it's hard to gauge - a lot of women will be able to but won't think they can and sadly a lot of women who could have probably never experienced that kinda thing ;;
Part of the issue is also that it’s difficult to define and we don’t actually know where it comes or what it actually is, so some studies may be more permissive of what they consider “squirting” while others may only count fluids that contain prostatic fluid.
@@princessaria wait really?
That was the most beautiful song I've ever heard.
When that guy winks it’s like his whole eye rolls sideways and backwards, everything about it is unnatural.
Found this channel last night and can't stop binging. One of the highest quality channels I've seen in a while, and the songs are bangers.
7:29 love how you included the racoon fact as well as the width of the human anus. You really go the extra mile for us.
I genuinelym love the fact you are good at singing and you choose to sing this
this guy makes me want to cry, screech, wipe out humanity from the face of the earth, and launch myself into space
0:10 I was eating when I watched this, so thanks for that.
I was eating yogurt of all things 😭
Wow that song was so good , I'm actually gonna add it to my playlist
The song was so well written I'm listening to it on repeat.
okay but i can't get over how actually good this man is at singing while being generally funny
how do you make worrying concepts into absolute bops? Mr. Beard is the answer
The song is SO good 😂 it’s insanely good for a song with such CURSED lyrics
Just discovered him a week ago and I thought just until the winking skit he was called Mr. Bread not Mr. Beard 😀🤚
WAIT WHAT
THEY DONT EVEN HAVE A BEARD???
Duude your acting skills surprised me, loved the sketch, and your songs never fail to amaze, love you Beard 👉👈
Your channel is amazing, I've watched 5 videos in a row and every one of them is top tier comedy along with the music you put out, simply incredible.
Whenever he said Quit your jibber, jabber play with my Jolly ranchers. I spat out my dr pepper laughing. 😂😂😂
Pickup lines got me laughing, shitting, crying, and vomiting.
I love how the auto captions occasionally refer to him as "daemon" instead of Damon, very fitting 😅
I'm very concerned as to how this man is allowed to speak to anyone or go anywhere.
dude actually made me so uncomfortable that im JUST NOW coming back to finish it.
dude you're a genius. you managed to turn that into an actual bop.
im watching this while in a lockdown at school, it lifted my mood. also, lets hope they dont find my class👹👹👹
(edit: im so sorry i was late to update, but good news, i survived!)
holy shit i hope you're ok
Oh no! I hope everything is ok! Give us an update!
ayo you okay!??
yo bro you alive!?
it's been 3 hours bro are you okay?
This man and many others is EXACTLY the reason why I’m a flaming homosexual, he makes me physically uncomfortable 💀
🤨 hmmm.... are you saying you are a homosexual (man?) because of your attraction to him?
@@lenabanx6221 I’m a girl lol, but nice one
@@izzyr15 lol, a woman on the internet. Impossible! /s
Same girl, saaaame!
So... does that imply that one can choose to be homosexual?
Well, I'm never going to think about sex ever again for the rest of my life.
Do you guys realize he had to watch all these videos and possibly had to save them so he could put them in this video 😭 mr.beard you a real one fr
I have never ever stopped a video just for a horrendous and I mean HORRENDOUS pickup line like that
honestly I´m so happy that you are making commentary videos, your content is amazing and I get so excited for your videos that is kinda concerning
as a another musician and composer i just wanna congratulate you on your ability to sing absolutely insane shit with a straight face. i'm pretty sure it's the ticket to success.
I’m frankly offended by how beautiful those harmonies are. How dare you. Great video
i haven’t ever had a physical reaction to something that’s made me uncomfortable
but this
this hurt me
The fact that he actually sang those lines with straight face
5:49 without context that is the funniest clip I’ve ever seen
Mr Beard Sir, please make more hilarious, I mean totally amazing and definitely useful songs at the end of each video. They are brilliant, and you're quite talented at both comedy and music.
My gods this guys has to be kidding. Also, Mr. Beard is unreasonably good at singing such hilarious songs
I found your channel by accident, and I will say it’s complete gold
I love Mr. Beard's brain. That song was beautiful.
I literally love Mr.Beard commentary videos!
You always make songs I never think I need until I hear them