Q&A: Part 1 (Going back to China and my identity as an adoptee)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 มิ.ย. 2024
- Last November I had the opportunity to do a live Q&A in NYC. It was so good to interact with people who heard about my story. And now (more than ever) the world is virtual, so I decided to do an online Q&A. I hope you enjoy it, and thanks for watching!
- ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
Kto od Karoliny Anny? ❤️
ja!
Jaaa
Ja!
Sprawdzam, ile jeszcze jestem w stanie zrozumieć po angielsku :)
Ja !
Ja 😊
Respect to the adopted parents. They raised her really well
Stop telling people what to do, OMG
@@mettigu1706 what
every animal or insects dont have money they still have baby and raise them
the parents who leave their child like that is are shittiest
dont show sympathy to them
that type of people care more about them selves then anyone
if she loved her so much she would die to be with her not leave her
@@copiumclipirl9299 one child policy
@@copiumclipirl9299 Had they keep her, they would all die, she wouldn't be here right now making this video. Stop talking about problem you don't know.
Hi Kati, I am a chinese mother lived in California for 40 years....your story touched me, I would be happy to coach your chinese, my daughter's name is also Katie, my chinese name is 靜枝, pronounces the same with slight different writing. I feel I know both culture and because I am a mother...my daughter is 24, I might be able to help to mend that culture and language bridge. Feel free to reach out to me, regardless, best intend and good luck.
I loved the story about you on BBC. It made me sentimental, thinking about my grandma in China.
And I totally feel the language barrier, not being able to communicate on a deep level (even with a translator). Even though I was not adopted, I still have issues with the communication with my parents because I was born in Norway and lived some years in Paris, so I have only a basic Chinese (equivalent to that of a 12-year old). And thus it's really hard to talk about important stuff, thoughts, feelings etc.
And It's a struggle about culture too, because I feel more "Norwegian" than Chinese, even though I have been raised by my Chinese parents my whole life. The fact that I have no Chinese friends might be one of many factors to this. Because of these differences I have had many tough periods, because it's impossible to talk about what's weighing on your heart when your chinese is basic, and my parents' Norwegian is likewise as basic. Resulting in me having to take exams anew, to get better grades, so that I could apply for a good university. Because I failed some subjects at senior year.
I really don't know why I'm writing this. But it might be a mix of procrastination whilst reading for exams, together with the insanity that comes forth with the fact that everything is closed because of the times we are in.
Anyways, for language learning. I have started to find good results by speaking more Chinese, even if it's bad/childish, and expose myself to more Chinese. For instance listening to Chinese music, or watching some Chinese videos.
Good luck with your Chinese language learning!
Thanks for sharing and good luck on exams!
I think many Chinese whose families have immigrated to other countries have experienced the same problems. My parents came to the United States from China back in the 1950s. When I was born, my mother spoke mostly Chinese with me, and I guess I was fairly fluent in my early childhood. But when I started going to school, I gradually started losing my Chinese, even though my Grandmother immigrated over when I was six and lived with us for several years. I also didn't have any regular Chinese friends growing up, so by the time I reached adulthood, my ability to speak Chinese was very minimal. Looking back, it was very unfortunate because when you're a child, you don't have the same sorts of questions that you want to ask as an adult. And because my family came from a part of China that spoke a particular dialect of Cantonese (Toisanese), it wasn't really possible to find classes that would help me learn later in life.
you got this! good luck on everything
@@katipohler7664 GOD BLESS you and your family ❤️
Lol how’s it bad?
Your story is so touching...I came here after watching BBC. I’m just happy you’ve got 4 great parents.
Ooo I dont know... regardless of their situation parents who abandon a baby in a market arent what I'd consider great parents.
Search and watch the full story.
@@Cha4k they had to because of the one child policy in china at that time. It was not by choice. Stop making a fool out of yourself, you fucking prick
@@Cha4k she could have been killed. They did what they thought was safest. It’s so unfortunate
@@Cha4k You clearly don't know enough about this. Stfu
Kati, your story really touched me when my wife was pregnant. At that moment, we weren't ready to have a baby, she even cried sadly because of her pregnancy. But your story touched me, my perspective changed radically and now I never left my son for more than a day. Your story makes me realized that children is the most precious thing in life.
Don't ever leave your wife.. neither while pregnant nor after delivery. And think about the future!
The bridge your biological father noted in the paper is a very famous historical and cultural tourist destination---鹊桥("Magpie Bridge" or "Bridge of Milkway" in denotation), where loved ones meet each other after long-long-time separation.
Welcome the tears now lol
Thank you, didn't know that!
Oh, neat. Didn't know that the Broken Bridge was also called the Magpie Bridge. I thought "Magpie Bridge" was only used to describe the bridge made by the magpies in the Cow Herder Weaver Girl story.
Also didn't know that the Broken Bridge is a place where all kinds of loved ones reunite. I learned about the bridge from the White Snake folktale, so I thought it was only for romantic lovers. When I saw the biological father's letter about wanting to meet his daughter again on that bridge I was like "wut".
YEEEES i've been waiting for an update for three years, go Katie!
I just stumbled across the BBC video, and man, it hit me right in the feels. I can imagine trying to figure out your identity has been a pretty difficult process, and having such a huge spotlight on your story must lead to a lot of added pressure. I'm half Asian, half white, born and raised in the US. I never really thought about identity much until I hit college, and I still struggle with it in my mid-twenties now. I feel disconnected from my Asian side, and guilty for not connecting more. Trying to figure out your identity is just a lot on top of trying to figure out everything else in life Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Love you and am so proud of you, Kati
Every adoption and reunion story is unforgettable in its own way . Your story stuck with me the most through the years - probably because of the heart wrenching, tear jerking effect it had on me . Fast forward a few years - I am happy to see you doing well and so mature in your thought process and management of relationships. Your parents raised you well.
I've just re-watched your story again Kati. You are truly blessed to have two beautiful, strong and loving families.
May you continue having more blessed memories with your combined family and I wish you the utmost best!
Thank you for sharing such a touching story of yours, Kati. Thank you to your amazing adopting parents for raising you up to be such a respectful lovely young lady with a kind soul. Your willingness to meet up with your biological parents and spending time with them (and your biological sister) shows that you are someone with a very big heart❤️. Given the one-child policy and the circumstances that your parents were in at the time that you born, so they did what they did. In the letter they wrote to whoever found you (and adopted you), they penned themselves as "heartless parents". Fully understood why they felt that way and at the same why they did what they did. It's a damn if I do damn if I don't situation - a tough dilemma! In any event, your story turns out to be a remarkable one that you are so well-loved by both sets of parents and the many significant people in your life. Bless your ❤️. AC
I'm in awe of how you are caring for yourself and accepting yourself as you are in the moment. Not sure I could have done that at your age. Keep on being you. All the best.
Hi, Kati! Your life journey is an eye-opener. You are being genuine in all you say. And, this one's my fave takeaway from you - acceptance, patience, and grace for "self" is profound which some people haven't achieved yet, which I believe, the Lord is cultivating in you for His purpose. Love! 💕
Kati
Glad to see you uploaded a new video. Hope you are staying safe.
You are a truly amazing young lady. You took full advantage of the wonderful opportunities your parents gave you and they should be proud. Your parents should be poster children for raising such an articulate thoughtful and caring person. And of course the fact you took advantage of those opportunities speaks volumes to your own personality. The fact that you have the discipline to learn the violin and try to learn Chinese shows you are willing to work hard and expand your world view. After having spent 3 decades in a university classroom (yeah and some of those years were in northern China), I am relieved that there are young people like you out there who will carry the torch and run this country/world. Keep up the good work as you have a great deal to contribute. Go girl.
Extraordinary story ! Your chinese mother is so full of love for you, when she met you. God bless you all ! God is love with everybody. Thank you my God. ❤️
Watched your story on BBC. Heartwarming. As a Chinese who has been living in Europe for many many years, I really appreciate the difference between cultures. Hope you keep growing happily as a person.
YAY, Im so happy you did this!
Could you please continue with making you tube videos? I really like your persona and I have this feeling that you coulf be really good in being a TH-camr for example just sharing your story and showing how you live in two worlds, two family’s and maybe even the difficulties you have by doing that. I think as an adopted child this could really set a statement for others and it’s nice to watch ❤️
Thanks for the kind words! I hope to have another video in the next week or so :)
@@katipohler7664 it's been a year now.. haha
I see so much love in your biological dad for you in the “Meet me on the bridge” video.
It melted my heart..
I hope you & your biological parents have found a way to communicate, so they can get they hearts filled. It was so heartbreaking to watch as you walked away from them in airport. The sadness in their faces was to much to handle. They had you for a minute and then watched to leave again. That’s got to be devastating.
Your adoptive parents are loving people and gave you a life millions would have prayed for. You are a truly blessed young lady to have so many people who love you.
Don’t get offended by all this culture stuff. As you get older you realize what a waste of time it is. Love who YOU are inside.....live life and love the people God put/puts in your life. Just love on & help everyone you come across.
That’s what life is about. Enjoy it because it’s shorter than you think.
Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us Kati
Your story is so amazing. Sending all the best wishes to you and all your family!
Very touched by your story. your adoptive parents raised you well, and the love your biological parents is so wholesome. I know the language barrier is difficult, but take it slowly. Don't give yourself too much pressure.
About practicing your Chinese, speaking will help you improve a lot, so you should try to speak more with your family as they can help you correct your sentences. I know that Chineses characters are hard to remember, so the only way that could help you to remember is to write those characters repeatedly and try to use it when speaking. I did both tips when I was studying Chinese in Chengdu, China.
And not just to write the characters by themselves, but in context, like in words, phrases, or sentences, for practice really helps.
For listening and speaking, a fun way of practicing is watching Chinese dramas or listening to Chinese music and learning to sing them!
Your story is so touching. Just saw them and it make me cry literally. Im a mid 40 guy and this really make me feel emotional. I really wish you the best, you and your biological parents. Please do not feel upset for how thing happens. Your parents will always be your parents through thick and thin. Your American parents are the the greatest people on earth for taking you in and give you chances in America. Never regret anything but to share loves to both. Good bless you.
Hello katie!
I'm not sure you will see this comment, but I stumbled upon your BBC story and it was so beautiful. I'm so happy for you that you got to experience that and grow your family! I was also born and adopted from China. However, I wasn't left with any note. My biological parents were always a question in the back of my mind, but it wasn't too important. Seeing your video really makes me reconsider. Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience! I hope you and your family are all doing well!
I came across your story after watching another story about a pair of Chinese twins adopted separately. (I have a pair of twins.) Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Kudos to your adopted parents who have raised you well. I cannot possibly imagine the fear they might have felt when they had to decide what to say to you about your birth parents for the first time, knowing that there would be no turning back. (Not to mention the pressure that the story had already gone public!) You are a courageous young lady dealing with all this with the world watching, and I wish you well on your journey.
I first heard about China adoption 20 years ago but this is my first time to learn about first hand experience from an adoptee. Very eye opening.
Came here after watching your BBC documentary. I don’t have any personal experiences with adoption but it made me very emotional because I can tell both your adopted and biological parents care for you very much. I’m glad you are able to be connected with both sides now. Good luck on your life and I hope you get better at Chinese so you can communicate with your biological parents on a deeper level!
Beautifully done… thank you for your transparency and sharing your story!
Very proud of you and both families ❤️
So proud of you Kati!!!!
I'm happy for you, both your families still alive and well. That's a miracle, wish you all the best!
such a very well-spoken individual. Your words are thoughtfully chosen. I love it.
I just watched the documentary and I'm so glad I found this channel! Your story is so interesting. Can't wait for another video
My tears flow unconsciously as I watch your story in Tiktok and TH-cam. 🌹 From Cambodia 🇰🇭
God send an Angel it was your adoptive parents, I was touch your story very inspiring and they raise you well.
Hi Kati, thanks for sharing. I am not an adoptee, but I am also an overseas Chinese. I started learning Chinese at 29 and now understand a lot, but there are always struggles here and there, so I can relate to that. I am about seven years older than you. Best regards to you and your both adoptive and biological families. 🧡
Please update us more! I hope you spend lots of time with your family in China and that you keep in touch with them a lot too! 🤗
Just watched the story, life is amazing!
Waited for this video from you like forever! Can't wait to see more! Great job Kati!
I cried so bad watching your documentary...seeing you here made me think you’re such a cool person and everyone around you are lucky to have u!
You cried because BBC documentary producer did a good job in editing the video. All the clips and words ...are well arranged that made it a moving video
Great story. Really enjoy Katie's honesty and courage to embrace her journey.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Kati. Good luck and best wishes!
I'm so touched by your story. God bless you Kati.
She has the best of both worlds. Wish her and the two families well and link the bridge of humanity between West and East.
God bless you, Kati, as you continue with your journey of life! ❤🌿🌸🍇
Your story is very inspirational, thank you for sharing.
You're so smart, love this especially the last bit ❤️
So glad you did a follow up, the video was very good!
the beauty now is that you are now able to articulate these things (questions you attempted to answer). It's healthy - when you are able to talk about, able to articulate it; share your experience, feelings - about your life.
Your biological parents are very lovely and sweet people. Please make an effort with the language, so you can feel comfortable with your biological family. We can see and almost feel how much they love you.
Thank you very much for sharing your experiencies and opinion with us. I really like it!
She looks a lot like her birth mom
Just sending Kati extra angels for this extraordinary journey, especially now it's public in a world often unkind about what's real.
Blessings to you, dear. Paz y luz.💙🙏📿🤗
Thank you for doing this. I have a young daughter but have always considered adopting in the future. I cried so hard when your birth mom was crying on the bridge. I am asian (Chinese American) myself but not adopted, and I struggle with my mom smothering me as a way of showing her love. It doesn’t always make much sense, does it? 😏 I can relate a lot to wanting to be the “perfect daughter” for my Chinese in-laws, but not quite knowing what that even means. You express yourself very well. 😊 I wish the best of luck to you and lots of happiness. 💕
You should read the Chinese American writer Amy Tan. She writes lovingly about her Chinese mother, who was so concerned about the daughters ability to care for herself in a scary world. Her first book is “Joy Luck Club”, a loving portrait of the mother, who had a hard and adventurous life. ❤️
Your adoptive parents are very kind, caring & have raised you well. You are a very respectful person. good luck to you in your future ventures.
Very inspirational story, the views of Hangzhou were also very memorable for me, I didn't know the bridge had such great meaning. You are extremely lucky to have so much family! Best of luck with getting to know everyone better - you will learn about yourself too!!
Hello Kati, I found your story to be truly moving. I am happy for you since you discovered you're birth parents. I pray for the best for your future. Greetings from Canada
You have amazing Grace and maturity for your age. Everything to be thanked for!
Love this video!! Thanks for making it!
your adopted parents seems really nice, glad you are having a pleasant life in the us.
I loved your story. I was adopted myself from birth but as of yet. i’ve never met my biological parents. I don’t really have a desire to either because my adoptive parents are the two most wonderful people in the world. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Same situation here, Never interested in meeting my biological parents since my real parents who raised me are perfect. But due to the actions of others I ended up meeting my birth mother and honestly I wish I hadn't. I'm extremely grateful that I was not raised by her.
Same
@Kayla Gould my brother met his biological parents . Turns out he had like two sisters and two more brothers. Worked out well for him.
I’m a Swedish woman with an adopted daughter from Vietnam.
We got her from a hospital, she was severely malnourished and depressed. When we were back in the hotel, she was on her stomach and I treated a skin rash on her back. She turned her face towards me and we bonded. I fed her Formula every 2 hrs, she gained one kg the first ten days, 3kg to 4kg. After that we have a very tight bond, though she’s very independent. But she’s still not interested in her biological background, or Asian culture. I cannot force her, she has a very strong willpower. ❤️
@@Cha4kI have an adopted daughter from Vietnam, she’s not interested in seeing her biological parents. I thought also that maybe an reunion would be a disappointment. They may be dysfunctional, or have some abuse. Meeting them is not always roses, as in this documentary. ❤️
Hey, just wanted to say I admire you for your bravery in sharing your story to the rest of the world! The BBC documentary was very inspiring and touching, and I'm so glad you are able to connect with your biological parents to this day! Looking forward to the next video! Cheers!
P.S., as a Canadian born Chinese, Chinese is definitely a difficult language, I hope to one day invest time in learning it too!
This girl is so sweet and beautiful in many ways
BBC brought me here was crying terribly watching the video, I was so touched about how the parents felt sorry for everything & how they tried everything to please Kati!
Thanks for this Q&A!
Loved the story. Made me very emotional. You are a very lucky person to have such nice Adopted parents and I also love your biological parents, you could see they have genuine love and remorse. ❤❤❤
you are actually so smart and admirable omg
CHEERS and GOD BLESS !!!!!!! KEEP MOVING FORWARD AND DON'T LOOK BACK ~~~~~~~~~
Hi Kati, I was watching some videos (by Eugene Lee Yang) and eventually came across the touching BBC video "Meet me on the bridge" where you meet your biological family for the first time. You speak so eloquently in that video and here in this Q&A. I'm blown away by the way you express an openness, understanding, acceptance and appreciation of your adoptive parents as well as your biological parents, their feelings, their gestures, and what they've all been through. You have a compassionate soul and were raised well. Your experience as an Asian American is interesting, especially the way you described feeling you were no different than the white Americans around you, but being essentially told "no, you're not one of us, you're an ASIAN American" and then having to figure that out. Though I was not adopted, I can kind of relate: grew up initially in the Midwest as 2nd generation Asian Americans then in California, but not really learning about the history of Asian Americans until college.
Wonderful. Don.t worry about perfection.... Learning a language takes a life time. It really does. I started to enjoy the process when I stopped being hard on myself. Just have an interest in learning, and be able to laugh when you make a mistake or be able to ask how to say it when speaking another language to your family. Imagine them learning English? or your students learning English? didn't they laugh at themselves and have fun. Just be you and not someone else, and enjoy that you have additional experiences and parents.. Look for the good in all things.
Just watched your story . i teared.. ty Jesus!
Thanks for sharing Kati. You spoke well (..+ beautiful outside and inside)
Hi Kati, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. As a now OLD SENIOR Asian American, I can tell you that you will always be in the "IDENTITY MIDDLE ZONE". You are NOT considered White American and not accepted as Chinese by overseas Chinese. Learning to speak and write Chinese is certainly a great step in bridging the culture and identity gap. Seeking out "like minded" supportive souls will make your life's purpose and journey more enriching. Don't forget, I read that there were about 100,000 adoptions in the US and Canada from China, Korea, etc during that time. So your adoption story is shared with so many others ! Follow your heart !
Looking forward to seeing part 2
I hope you’ll continue this series!
Im just going about to sleep when i saw ur video accidentally. I cried a lot. It was such a touching story. ❤️
Your story touched my heart, you have 2 sets of awesome parents 😘😘
I think once a person has a child you realize how much it hurts to lose your child. I never knew love could be so strong once i gave birth to my children. It is on such another level. I can totally understand why your biological mother lost it and begged for forgiveness when she saw you. I could not handle it if I would not be allowed to keep my baby. And the love is insanely strong when it's so attached to you as well in that early newborn stage. Damn.... ❤️😭
Respect to you Kati for giving them a chance to meet you, to try and get to know them. It's sad you didn't get to know earlier on enough about them or Chinese culture.
Gurl I feel ur pressure and what u meant by “being the perfect daughter” around ur bioparents and meeting the expectations of others. But at the end of the day, i hope u could do whatever you want with ur life and not letting those expectations affect u in any neg ways I guess. Bc they weren’t meant well. I dunno...
But I just watched that vid and it made me cry so much mainly bc i though it was another sad story but it turned out to be a very beautiful and happy one!
Me and my husband are thinking of adopting a daughter. I gave birth to a son recently and went through a risky labour so we are not planning to have anymore children of our own instead adopting as we both want to have daughters so badly. It’s scary the thought of the baby leaving us one day to her biological parents so I feel your adoptive parents so much. I do not blame your biological parents but still Katie do not ever forget your adoptive parents. They have done a greatest job. They have opened their heart for someone else daughter and taking care of you so well with the fear of you leaving them one day. You are here because they choose to be your parents. Do not ever forget them.
Hii, katty Im very proud of you, god bless you.
Your story was so amazing 🥰 and touching that brought tears to me when i watched the BBC documentary.
I am looking forward to learning more about your situation. I am interested in finding out if an adoptee can truly become close to the birth parents.
I wish you and your families well and that you all continue to grow in each other's love.
I live in a little town near Nanjing. As i know, there are some foreign teachers in local kindergartens who travel here, just like you. BUt the jobs are not so good, so most of them only stay here for few months. I understand it's very hard to learn another languages and different culture, but you're young enough to tackle these barriers. That's really great to have such amazing life experience. Keep safe during qarantine. Best wish to your family.
Wow ,I didn't know you have TH-cam channel ,I really felt very happy after you meeting your parents and that scene when they give money that are saving for you
love this video, can't wait for part 2!
Kati, please do another video. You are amazing and you don't even realise how asian you are in your composure, your way of articulating things. Those genes are strong. I wish you all the best in life. I am touched by your story.
I agree she could be a big time TH-came
good to see you are doing well Kati. My only piece of advice is not to think about the identify too deeply but more focusing on what you want to do and where you want to live in the future. I live in Canada for more than a decade and never had concerns on my identify and I chose to spend time with whoever I am comfortable with. All the best from Jo
Kati, I just found your story !!! glad you got to meet your biological parents. I'm adopted as well, I found my biological mother, and it didn't go so well. My story is nothing like yours, it comes from abuse. So glad to see other adopted kids, seeking out their biological parents and turning out well, for them!!!
Katie you are amazing! Such a sweet child and blessed with two great loving parents! And finding out you have a sister!! You are still young, plenty of time to catch up with your biological family ❤ they will never forgive themselves, but you have the bigger heart to tell them its ok ❤
Your story literally brought me to tears. As for learning Chinese, I highly recommend that you integrate Chinese media (e.g., Chinese songs, movies, dramas, and shows) into your learning. You should also familiarize yourself with the fundamentals (common daily phrases, expressions and pinyin) as much as you can. Also, don't neglect the reading, writing, and speaking aspects of Chinese as it will help you understand the language and culture better as a whole. If you put in an hour every day to practice reading and writing, I promise that you will see amazing results in no time.
Great idea! I recommend newspapers such as Liberty Times (自由时报) and Taipei Times (台北时报). And here's a quality TV channel that can help with learning Mandarin: th-cam.com/users/pts
As for music this one's a classic from Hong Kong: th-cam.com/video/HyChySXLyPk/w-d-xo.html
It's a political song about racism and the fight for freedom. They wrote it because at the time South African freedom fighters were locked up and tortured for having the wrong ethnicity. Today, who is speaking up for the people of Xinjiang and Hong Kong?
This. My Chinese was a lot better than all of the other students in Chinese class because I grew up watching Chinese dramas. I listened to the actors speaking while looking at the subtitles at the bottom of the screen and therefore learned how each character was pronounced.
More videos my friend! You are such an inspiration!
Regardless of the Q&A, I just want to give you a wholehearted compliment: You are so beautiful and charming!
Hi Kati ☺ i loved your story on BBC , it is so touched . 🥰