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Figuring out my sexuality has been a rollercoaster. First I thought I was bisexual, then pansexual, and now I realize I'm panromantic demisexual. Can't wait for my first Pride Month as a proud LGBTQ+ member!
This surprisingly helped. For about a decade I supressed my feelings of gender dysphoria because it was too stressful on my young mind. As I went through puberty I identitied myself as a girl solely because of my sex despite lacking the ability to fully see myself as a girl in my own mind. And even now as I'm trying to unpack what I've had supressed I'm struggling to not lean on my sex/percieved gender instead on my true internal sense of self.
Yeah I get that a lot. For me, I was suppressing that I liked women, then I was suppressing that I rarely actually felt like a girl. I currently identify as bigenderflux, but I think I'm really a demiboy. Not sure though because it's hard to reject the feminine stuff that have been pushed onto me. I hope it gets better soon ❤️
I gotta say it's a fun time confusing them. I've been called ma'am a handful of times despite being AMAB and presenting mostly masc lol (I do identify as NB though).
Congratulations on your engagement!! This really helped me a lot, specifically the gender sheet. I'm afab genderfluid bisexual and have a hard time explaining exactly what that means to the people I love. Thank you for posting this :)❤
I just came out as genderfluid to my mom today! It actually went pretty well! I’m going to come out to my dad tomorrow, I’m nervous it won’t go as well, but hopefully things will be alright.
Hot take: I'm down to swap the acronym name for our community for "Queer". It's short, sweet, no acronym issues like comprehensivity, it can cleanly hold all of us without necessarily highlighting one part of the community, and it continues to reclaim some of those previously normal words that were used to attack us.
I'm pretty sure the word "queer" used to mean "happy" or "someone who is happy" in the past in England. It's a nice idea to use this word to simplify things since there is too many identities in the community nowadays.
@@furyking380 ah, it seems I accidentally mixed the words then. Did a quick check and the word "queer" means "strange" or "peculiar". Being peculiar isn't a bad thing, so the idea of using "queer" still sounds nice!
"glbt + feminists = lgbt" Please stfu if you dont even know our history and why lesbian is the first word in the acronym. Lesbians took care of gay men during the aids crisis, not because you think its for "female empowerment"
@@va-v i agree with this statement, im a transmasc aroaceflux abrosexual ambiamorous autistic individual so many people see me as "weird" so being able to claim a word that is usually used as an insult to label myself feels like i'm getting back on them in a strange way
I am personally a non-binary aro-ace, but with my percieved gender: its literally everywhere, people think im a boy half the time, the other half the time they think im a girl, when they arent sure they perceive me as agender or non-binary, with me nobody has ever been sure about my gender, everywhere I go everyone is like: I cant tell if this is a boy or a girl (and then sometimes theres people behind me debating if I'm a boy or a girl which is awkward cause they think I can't hear them but I mean like, they aren't even whispering and im right infront of them, so thats just that i guess) although according to this I am both cisgender and transgender so I am confused.
having people whisper behind me confusedly about my gender is my dream. especially if they come up and ask me, so i can give them an answer that makes them more confused. the sheer *power* of confusing someone just by walking past them! one of my life goals honestly. but i guess i understand why it might bother someone.
If you feel mostly like a boy some of the time and mostly like a girl other times, you could be genderfluid, meaning you gender can change. Genderfluid is a perfectly normal and common form of nb, and is a perfectly normal form of trans, you’re not the only one like this, so feel free to learn about genderfluidity and see if it fits what you’re feeling
I discovered and found out that I was non-binary on October of last year. I go by she/they despite being born in a boy's body heh. Though I still haven't discovered my sexual orientation
I never use the "he" pronoun to myself. I know this is strange but the reason why I use "she/they" is because I behave and felt more feminine, and I never feel any masculinity at all😅
And I also struggle with coming out to my mother, especially when her parents are here, out of fear that they might disown me for who I am. My mom is supportive and used to have gay friends when she worked as a call-center agent. Weeks ago, I've heard my grandpa rant a bit about how homosexuality is wrong after he watched a televangelical show on their TV
I wanted to emphasize your note on finding oneself is a journey. Via the flags video, I discovered the Bigender term, which is what led me to Multigender, which led to the difference between fluid Multigender and discrete Multigender which led me to the Plural community which is where I *finally* had a term for what I was aware of for 30 years previous. If anyone watching this channel sees something that sparks a little recognition, keep chasing that thread!
Asexual, Omni romantic trans woman here. I'm glad this video exists. I am working on my MTF transition but I have recently been going through my Second or Third questioning Era. This is helpful and I appreciate it.
I might be nitpicking, but being agender is always a weird place when it comes to cis vs. trans. Like, I don't feel like either, so it's weird to say that. I know some agender people might identify with either, and I that's fine for them, but for my own labels, neither fits. I'm just agender. I'm not cis nor trans.
Honestly, as an agender person, it makes me uncomfortable when I'm pegged as trans just because it's under the nonbinary umbrella. I don't like the term trans and I'm not. I'm my own thing, but am quicker to say I'm cis than have to explain that how I feel about that label is weird. There's a weird perception that if you're nonbinary as a whole, you're trans when that's not true. People can be trans, cis, or something else entirely, and still exist while being nonbinary. Idk where I was headed with this, but yeah.
I used to be agender but I realized that I’m comfortable with labels such as ‘boy’ or ‘guy’ and comfortable with he/they pronouns (pronouns and gender aren’t the same, but sometimes they do tie into gender) so I’m trans now
I remember seeing a similar worksheet about gender identity on a website when I was just beginning to figure out my gender. I tried to pin down a place on the worksheet where I felt like my gender belonged but could never decide on one, in other words I should have figured out that I'm genderfluid earlier lol. As for my sexuality, I knew that I was asexual from very early on in my journey of discovering my orientation but figuring out my romantic orientation was one hell of a roller coaster. In the end, I managed to figure out that I'm aromantic :)
That was really informative. I've been trying to learn as much as I can about these topics. There can be a certain clarity in labels sometimes. After decades of having complicated thoughts and feelings about my gender, I determined that "bigender" fits me the best. I think that if I was clearly cis or trans it would have been simplier, and I never personally liked "non-binary" as a label because it seemed clunky. Likewise, I've known I was bisexual for a long time, but it's not an even split in attraction, so "hetro", "homo" and even "bi" all felt incomplete. Lately I've been thinking of myself as pansexual, and the different scales of attraction helps provide clarity on how attraction can vary from person to person.
This might be a really dumb question but how do you find out the difference between gender and fashion preference? For example, I’ve always been a pretty butch-ish (hate that phrase but how else do I describe it) cis gay man and never really had any problems with that but over the last few years I’ve been finding myself getting really bored with it and I want to experiment with a more non-binary style but I’m slightly confused wether that has anything at all to do with gender? Or are they 100% separate? I almost want to suggest a third gender spectrum circle for fashion preferences
Fashion doesn't dictate gender. If you dress masc (Butch is a lesbian term) but want to experiment with androgynous styles, that does not indicate your gender in any way. Fashion can also be a way for someone to express gender identity, but anyone of any gender can wear whatever clothes they want.
I don't think it's really about like what the tag on your clothes say about it's gender, but how you associate the gender of the clothes. I would put gender into more spectrums similar to how sexual orientation is in this video. Like maybe clothes can make you feel a stronger social and emotional association of yourself with a certain gender because of your gender association with clothes, but how you feel about your body could be different. I think it's like how it's with sexual orientation. Like nobody fits perfectly in every gender spectrum.
@@Veltorb Doesn't fashion involve a population of people, after all we talk of something becoming fashionable. Wouldn't meeting the expectations of others be fashion or at least meeting what you believe others would want of you... Wouldn't expressing yourself regardless of other's preferences and expectations be the opposite of fashion or at least an effort to change or lead fashion...
On the gender spectrum. You said that if your perceived gender and actual gender are aligned, you're cis gender. But like..... no. If my transition is incredibly successful and by all accounts I am perceived as female because of all the surgeries and hormones and voice training, I'll still be trans. My experience through my life doesn't disappear because people have started to perceive me as my gender. More accurately, when your sex assigned at birth aligns with your gender identity, THAT means you're cisgender.
Further, if a cisgender person presents as a gender different from their AGAB, and people perceive them as that gender, but their actual gender still aligns with their AGAB, they don't become trans. Whether or not you are trans has nothing to do with how others perceive you. . Trans woman who's transition was incredibly successful = still trans Cis man who likes to dress and appear feminine, and even passes really well = still cis
Femboys and "tomboys"* are valid and don't have to identify as trans. The experience of trans people whose transition is successful is still valid and they still get to identify with the transgender experience. *I know that the term "Tomboy" is often used derogatorily. I don't mean it that way. I would use another term, but I don't know one.
The only positive use I can think of for labels is that they can actually bring similar people together, labels shorten complicated descriptions and can be easily searched at the internet if you ever need to find other people similar to you. You do not need to know how to precisely describe yourself in terms of gender expression, gender identity, "adult fun time" orientation, romantic orientation, relationship orientation, or any other orientation identity. I took literal decades to figure out what was my transgender identity and my "adult fun time" orientation, I only realized in the past few months that my romantic orientation is in a somewhat grayromantic area which I do not have the precise words to label, alongside my relationship orientation, which turned out to be fluidamorous.
I'm questioning my sexuality and gender almost daily and it's exhausting because on the one hand I don't really care about labels but on the other hand it would be nice to have some for validation and being easier to talk about. I don't have the energy to think about it right now so I'm trying to push it to the back of my mind🙃
I actually ended my questioning like 2 months ago and your channel helped me a lot. I even managed to find out who of my parents is supportive without seeming suspicious and now I know who to come out when I'm ready. I'm so happy I ran into this channel. Lots of love from a proud genderfluid & omnisexual individual! *Edit:* Yeah...I guess the questioning didn't end bc now I identify as a AFAB/FAAB genderfluid neptunic gray-sexual person
I'm a slightly masculine cis woman, and overall in terms of sexuality I'd put the dots in the center almost everywhere, maybe eeeever so slightly towards men emotionally and mentally, because I just connect better with guys and most of my friends are male... But yeah, I'm absolutely pansexual. I mean, come on - pans make you feel so warm inside you could literally fry, can you even get better than that? ;P
I get the Gender spectrum part, but the Orientation spectrum is confusing me currently. I think I will have to watch that part a few more times before I feel I understand these 7 categories better. It's not an issue of presentation but just my own difficulties in understanding language/words. I'll get it eventually. 🙂👍
Honestly, I think the emotional+mental and physical+aesthetical could be combined into one category each. They’re extremely similar! The sensual x sexual are also similar, but I’ve seen people use it in a different way, like… sensual attraction would be the desire to partake in any sensorial activity that is not sexual (like hugging, cuddling, holding hands, quick kisses, etc) and sexual attraction would be linked only to sexual activities. I’ve seen asexuals defining like that because some feel sensual attraction, just not the sexual.
i was called they/them at work today for the first time because one of my fellow nonbinary coworkers noticed the they/them pronouns pin i put on my apron alongside my she/her pin. my closest friends percieve me as nonbinary, and it feels amazing to finally have my percieved gender slowly match up with my actual gender. while i still get called "ma'am" and "miss" by strangers, and my parents still use my deadname because i havent had the guts to ask them not to, it's progress and it means a lot to me.
Hello! I’m non-binary and genderfluid, and I go by she/her/they/them, but it really depends on the day. As for sexual orientation, I’m not 100% sure, but at the moment, I think I am asexual panromantic.
I thought I was a cis gender Heterosexual female but I realized looking back in my time at middle school that I was insecure about my chest. Not because of the size but because I didn’t real feel like a girl (also I didn’t like the school uniforms) and i’m was trying to develop a sense of fashion not really feminine not really masculine feeling like a they/them but still look feminine.
So I’m a Genderfluid Demigirl and about my sexual orientation I realize that I might like other genders too but I want to get to know them emotionally. So I’m also Omnisexual Demisexual Demiromantic person too
When you say the homophobes in our life aren’t perfectly straight, it reminds me of my mom. She literally told me how she had a crush on a girl, and even kissed her, then goes on the claim that she felt guilty because god tugged on her heart telling her it’s wrong. No, you felt guilty because you where raised to feel guilty, not because God said so. 😭🥲
Math wise, if there is 1,000,000 points on each circle, and 7 circles, it would be 1,000,000^7, or 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000... not 49,000,000~ Even if there were only 100 spots, it would take 10,000 earth's to have a 66% chance of a perfect match! (Assuming uniform distribution)
@@johnwang9914 Um... so I was saying the numbered math in the vid was too small due to not combining correctly, so I was just using the numbers provided. 2) You say per physics, which is an overstatement. Per physics, there is a finite set of points due to the Planck Length
mathmatically this entire chart is incorrect since a circle is entirely the wrong way to represent gender identity or sexual/emotational/romatic attraction. also mathematically there is no limit to the amount of points in a circle and the amount of points in a circle is entirely irrelevant. since the limit of how unique people are is based on people not the amount of points on a diagram.
Recently (or the start of this year honestly) I've been struck with the idea of trying to figure my butt out. And I went from being like "Oh I must be Asexual" To "Do I hate my own body or something?" So, I went from Asexual to Non-Binary and then to pure hell of confusion (not because of the terms that stuff is given though, it's because I can't tell that myself) So it's a rollercoaster of both dysphoria and homophobia because my mother is homophobic (though, she don't know about my shenanigans, the closest she's got to knowing me was today by knowing what music I listen to because I accidentally left it on). But I'm not sure about my father hence he agrees with my mother so there won't be a long ass argument and I can totally see why. Thank you for making this video for helping me a bit further in discovering myself :D
Hey! Don't take this as fact, but I feel like identity is easier to identify if you focus on what makes you feel comfortable rather than what makes you uncomfortable, because uncomfortability can be caused by a lot of things, but if you feel more comfortable with a certain label or pronoun and it gives you a relief then that's probably closer to how you feel like
I find for the orientation worksheet there needs to be another point which represents not feeling that section. A = Everyone, F.M.N being those genders, but there needs to be another point opposite of A. For example someone might not feel sensual attraction to anyone but aesthetically finds non-binary people attractive - so you can't just replace Non-binary with "Nope, none of that'
Some advice I learned from Ace Dad is that labels are tools to help you understand and communicate about your experience, not boxes you have to fit into. So while you might not find the Perfect Label™, you can still find a comfortable label (or labels) that is/are close enough to help you better describe your experience, or you might find that you feel better without one! Ultimately, it's up to you alone to decide if/how you label, so find what feels good!
I fell into a different rabbit hole, first it was the dark souls lore, automotive history, aeronautical, watches and now this. Unironically, i dont understand this stuff. But i love just watching people talk about interesting topics
I've always pronounced Storge as STOR-gay... I really love this video, it is so very informative. I really love how you measured all of the four types of love, it is really quite comprehensive. Keep up the great work, Prof. Pride!!!!
I noticed how my sexuality have been changing SO MUCH over the years (2008 is when I'm born) 2008-2015: Straight 2015-2017: Just found out about LGBTQ and became Bisexual Biromantic (since before I did have crushes on both girls and boys and thinking that the girl crush is just friends) 2017-2018: Learning more about LGTBQ and thought I was Pansexual Panromantic 2018-2020: Found out more about more labels and thought I was Pansexual Panromantic & Genderfluid 2020-2020 end: Found out sex and noticing how I feel neutral about it but DO NOT WANT TO HAVE IT. Asexual Panromantic & Genderfluid 2021-2021 June: Found out more about Genders and labeled myself as Girlflux since I'm kind of different from the Genderfluid definition where I thought with intensity and never got to a point thinking about myself as boys. Asexual, Panromantic, Girlflux 2021 June- 2021 End: Slowly noticing that Biromantic fit more so I changed again LOL 2021 End - Now: Ace-Biro-Girlflux Edit: Oh and now I did have a second where I think I'm Abrosexual (but no after I found out about Asexual label) Edit AGAIN: OH AND I helped mah friend found out about LGBT and she told me she is Bi
I'm still confused about my gender. I have a female body and I like it, but my personality goes more to the male side (I'm not feminine at all), so I feel like both. Also, I like to imagine engaging in sexual activities with a girl, but I don't think I feel very romantic about it. I guess I prefer a relationship with a man. And I think I'm Demiromantic and demisexual. I also never had any crushes and barely felt any attraction towards anyone. Except... My friend was looking very beautiful last week, never seen her like this. Got a huge blush out of me. I am confusion... 💀
Non-binary labels have so much different identities, I myself use demiboy to describe myself. I am afab and Its not very safe for me to be a trans in my country, so I am forced to cling to femininity. But I dont always dislike it, sometimes I feel very up to feminine clothes. I dont feel like a girl when I wear them, I still feel like a boy, just pretty. So being "non-binary but closer to male" is fuzzy enough and concrete enough for my experience.
@@chimerasofhafgufa I'm debating with myself if I'm just a tomboy (if I understood that term right) or demigender. I read about demigender and I think that what fits most to me, but I'm still not sure what exactly a demigirl and boy are, how you differentiate between the two (Gotta ask dr. Google again). I think having a female body is kinda hot, but I think I also wouldn't mind being in a male body. So, I don't really care what my body is. Maybe I'd have an actual social life if I'd be male, since every guy gets accepted by all the other guys where I live. My mom always tells me that I act, talk and walk like a man, and that's also what I want to be like. I also prefer to dress in a non-binary and/or masculine style. Do you have any idea? (Sorry for asking btw)
@@theoneandonly3945 demigirl is under the nonbinary umbrella and describes someone who partially identifies as a girl and partially identifies as something else! demiboy is the same thing but the boy version, hope you can figure out but don't feel like you have to rush you have all the time in the world trust me
I'm actually having a hard time lately because i don't know what gender I am. I feel like gender fluid is the best explanation but I never felt female, it's like today: I woke up feeling like a male, but by now, the end of the day, I'm feeling like some kind of mix between male and female, maybe non-binary or something, and I use to change a lot, sometimes it takes days sometimes, in hours. So it confuses me so much... The orientation part was very cool I actually learned a lot about myself while using it
So far what I have found is I am cisgendered female, quite tomboyish and demisexual. I have only ever been sexually attracted to one person in my life which happens to be my bf now. I’ve learned a lot through this, I am also an INFJ and prefer minimalist androgynous clothing style. I’ll have to look into these.
Although it still does not make sense to me, for many reasons, specially as to why you even feel the need to label yourself something, this video definitely makes me understand the topic better than before, you're a very well spoken individual and you explained it in a digestible way.
I really like the orientation one because it includes many categories rather than just one overall. I usually say I’m straight because I’m not sexually attracted to women but aesthetically, physically and mentally I am. Really helpful
You are actually way more unique than what he says :D - In case you don't wanna hear the explanation, getting the seven circles the exact same as somebody else is equal to 1 in infinity but since in this hypothetical scenario there is only a million units per circle, seven circles are 1 in 10^42 or 1 in a Tredecillion and, with the other two that goes up to 1 in 10^54 or 1 in a Septendecillion So basically he said that there are a million possibilities that one of your circles matches someone else's exactly, although the possibilities would have been infinite just for one circle, with only a million units it is now very easy to get the 9 circles the exact same as somebody else, compared to 1 in infinity, I said compared to one in infinity since just with two circles it already goes up to 1 trillion, this is since the chance has to repeat 2 times. It is so hard since even if the first one is the exact same as someone else's but in the second circle is off by just 1 unit it would already be different, and this is why normally the chance is one in infinity as you can be off by just .000000000001 cm and it wouldn't count as equal but, by having only a million possibilities, that option doesn't exist anymore, going back to the solutions, there is a formula, number of possibilities ^ number of repetitions, and following this formula this is all simplified to 1,000,000^7 which, since the last number is a one and 1x1=1 we only have to multiply the zeros, so 6 (Number of zeros) x 7 = 42, which means that just for the first seven it's already 10^42 and, if you wanna do the other two, we can go back to the original value of 1 million and do 1,000,000^9 or do (10^42) x (10^12) [12 is the number of zeros you would have after doing 1,000,000^2] so the final result is that you are one in a septendecillion (1 in 10^52)! :)
This video was helpful, though I still have doubts if I'm right about my orientation. Does anyone have a similar experience to this? Romantically: Almost exclusively opposite gender Physically: Closer to my own gender, but doesn't completely exclude the opposite gender Aesthetically: Closer to the opposite gender, but doesn't completely exclude my own gender Sexually: Somewhere in the middle, maybe somewhat closer to my own gender The rest are somewhere in the middle, slightly leaning towards the opposite gender
honestly, my self discovery was (and still is) a line graph with no connotation. I thought I was bi, then aro, then pan, then gay, and now I'm kinda in between bi and gay. With gender, at first I thought, non-binary, then doubted myself, then trans-fem, then cis, then non-binary, (repeat cycle like 50 times) aaaand now I've been blended into a non-binary genderfluid. People who don't know me perceive me as female, which I used to get annoyed at, but now I realize "oh wait that feel better than being called a guy what?" and my family always perceives me as a guy, even though I'm out to some of them. Proud to celebrate my first pride month out!
What’s funny is that my perceived gender is sometimes non-bindery but I’m actually a cis girl. It doesn’t bother me though, I kinda don’t care how people perceive me, I just dress how I feel on a given day
I've never seen this understanding of attraction! things that I didn't understand about myself prior are now way clearer. Like the difference between physical and aesthetic is actually so important and I didn't know about it. Equally the difference between emotional mental and romantic is super helpful for me. Just so many things are starting to make sense thanks to this model. Thank you for this video!
“it’s hard to figure out who you are inside” Me to my friend: *what is pansexual* Them: are you stupid Me: *what is it* Them: it means when you like all genders and not just girls/boys Me now: *I am pan* Me now: *thank you bestie*
im a genderdoe (genderfluid but im never a man/masculine) asexual intersex lesbian, and im so glad that the complexity of gender is becoming more and more wellknown. i always wondered why one day femininity gave me euphoria, and the next it gave me dysphoria; i always just assumed i was a cis girl with problems lol. learning that genderfluidity doesnt always mean youre sometimes a man, and learning about nonbinary genders and even lacking gender, it's brought me so much self understanding and confidence.
When you identify a cis woman but sometimes they/them sounds nice, it'd just be nice to be free of gendered expectations and be treated like a person instead of an object to be desired. Idk maybe it's stupid
Thing about gender is that it is not easy, if at all possible, to separate it from 'social views and expectations' of it because of its socially constructed aspects. It's easy to have doubts or want a 'break' from expectations regardless of what gender you are - and I'll freely admit in most societies women get the brunt of the 'expectations'. It'd be interesting to see how people identify in terms of numbers in a society with a lot less scrutiny and baggage.
It's not stupid! Being labeled as a "she" is very very hard sometimes. If you feel comfortable with "they" pronouns that's totally fine, and doesn't necessarily mean that you're trans, but I strongly suggest that you look more into these gender things since it can really help to understand yourself better, even if you're not trans 😊
this is sooo helpfull it made me realise my sexuality a bit more i have been an out bi sexual for like a year but lately i started questioning my gender sooo perfect video perfect timing thanks a lot!!
For me the journey began because I was trying to make sense of who I was. Initially I didn’t even know that’s what it was I was doing but as I’ve learned more I’ve become more comfortable with myself because I don’t feel crazy anymore. So I didn’t do it to tell anyone else who I am but I did do it to tell myself who I am
Thanks for the help, I am now assured that I am male. I was questioning, but I really thought about it, and came to the final decision, I am a cis male.
As an asexual panromantic transfemme non-binary person, this was fun to watch. Really explains gender and sexuality/romanticism in a way i didn't have growing up.
i thought i was polysexual, then omnisexual, and then pansexual. now recently i figured out that i was confused about who i liked and who i was attracted to because i was actually asexual and aromantic. woww, how these things woke out, right?
Oh my god that part with physical and sexual attraction makes so much sense! Finally I am sure I am ace. There was some confusion about physical appreciation of people yet not wanting to do anything with them
This is very well put together! Well done! I'm glad people who are just figuring themselves out have a nice presentation like this to help them a bit. When I was figuring my own labels out it was, well, let's just call it messy (and that's being generous!) Seeing these topics of self discovery explained so simply and without any judgement or bias makes me happy, if also a teeny bit wistful that i was a bit too old to have this, too....
Here's my orientation chart as a questioning fraysexual heterosexual. Emotionally: Agender, slightly towards female Physically: Almost all the way agender, but slightly towards males Sexually: Agender Mentally: Agender but slightly towards females Sensually: Halfway between males and agender Aesthetically: Mostly towards female but balanced between female and agender Romantically: Male This actually helped me understand myself a lot better, thank you so much. I'm waiting until I'm older to put a label on it, but I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum. Thank you so much.
I am trans (mtf). I have not worn men's clothing in several years, but my family has no clue. My family members will go on tirades about trans people while I am sitting across from them in leggings. They have all seen me in skirts at some point, but it never sinks in. It is quite entertaining sometimes. What do you do when no one recognizes it even after you start representing your true gender?
This isn’t very helpful for me. Firstly, You forgot to mention that you can fall completely outside a circle, eg. nullgender, asexual, and aromantic. Secondly those descriptions of the seven forms of attraction didn’t make sense as to what they actually mean to me. Thirdly, just because I believe we are all people, I love humanity, and would do “romantic things” (which as you defined it, going out of my way to make their life better, which to me with that wording includes holding the door for someone) doesn’t mean I want to have anything to do with them, or whether or not I find them repulsive. I just do nice things not taking into account any kind of attraction. I dunno this is just how I am.
@@PoweredByRainbows but agender and bull gender are different. I like to describe it as such: your brain is a garage with boxes in it. You rummage around, find the box labeled gender, and discover it empty you’re agender. However if you go looking for said box and are unable to find it you’re nullgender.
@@PoweredByRainbows if these nullgender, asexual, romantic, and agender options are entirely disconnected from the rest of the points of the diagram then it simply should not be inside the shape at all and should be separate. As I said in my own comment there are many flaws with this diagram that you tried to use to represent these concepts however I see what you were trying to do. If you look at my own comment I suggest using a square or a circle depending on if these "null" options have a relation to the rest of the options in the diagram.. If these Asexual, agender and such concepts have a relationship with the rest then it should be a square however this would mean that one could for example be partially agender while also feeling more male or more female and such. If that is not the case and one can be only agender with no doubt at all then it should be independent from the spectrum entirely. as a concept what your did makes sense but as a correct scientific and mathmatical diagram this is a total mess. Just to be clear im saying all of this to help not to degrade or anything like that. I just hope that you can correct this and make a visual spectrum that actually makes sense since it is a lot more complex than just putting points on a circle and hoping it works.
Congratulations on your wedding to Michael. If you don't mind me asking, how would you say autism effects understandings of gender and sexuality? I'm wondering partly because I'm autistic and sometimes I've been told that because I 'have autism' I don't understand orientation and gender. Anyway, hope you're all having a gay day.
There are neurodivergent gender labels (and ones for autism too) if that feels comfortable for you. If not, im sorry that people are saying that. That sounds so uneducated on their part 😢
@@astralorbitor Thank you for your kindness and understanding. Its a strange kind of thing given how there's an assumption that people will be heterosexual but it seems that if someone has any kind of disability or neurodiversity then the assumption is flipped. On the plus side, as time goes by there is definitely signs of improvement, being 31 I can remember when there was a lot less understanding.
Thank you for doing this. I genuinely had no idea that being agender (autocorrected to Avenger which I also wouldn't mind being lol) was a thing until I saw this, and now I feel like that describes me more perfectly than anything. I wasn't desperate to find a label before but I'm glad that I have now. This was greatly appreciated. 😊❤️
I’m comfortable with my sexuality as I’m Greyasexual Aromantic, but I’m confused about my gender: I partially identify as a woman, I mean hell my pronouns are She/He, but I tend to struggle with my identity as I thought that I was a Demigirl but I felt like there’s more to my identity than it meets the eye
The intensity of me feeling female fluxuates and my sexuality also does. But I also would consider myself nonbinary and poly or bisexual for making it more simple.
Im genderfluid, mostly feminine identifying and feminizing but a touch masculine sometimes as well. My interests are largely gay in nature, but its perfectly valid for a guy to be into me and for them to be straight identifying. Then again i also had bottom surgery a year ago so that also helps.
This basically says that sometimes labels have bouderies but there shouldn't be. It's a bit like a circle graph, you might be closer to the edge then others but identify by how you want.
ive figured out my gender (and sexuality) a little bit ago (3 months) and im Transgender (MtF) Pansexual and i dont have any physical attraction i love people for their personality.
i often wonder that myself. maybe someone should find a way for schools to teach kindergardners that otherwise we just have stories with happily ever afters, dating, kissing and all that. thankgoodness physical affection as a way to show love is a social concept. some cultures don't have lovvydovvie smooshing, and some cultures handholding is for anyone in any situations
I don't mean to be nit picky but with finding your gender thing, you described that wanting to be feminine or masculine and dressing in those ways as being your gender or around your gender which it can be but also some people can dress different to there gender or want to be more feminine or masculine without that being there gender, but all that aside I love these videos.
I had some doubt that genderfluid was the right label for me until you showed the gender circle and I realized my actual gender dot would be on different places on different days
*No matter what you Identify as, you are valid* I'm *non binary*, specifically a *kittengender*, idc if you think it's weird, it feels right to me, I've identified with other things in the past, but they dont feel right. *kittengender* feels right to me, for some reason I can't explain. my pronouns are *Kitten/She/They*, and I am a *Greyromantic-Pansexual*. I am very feminine. cute( tho I dont admit it, dont tell anyone) kitten. I have autism, and part of what I see as gender is the fact much more regressed than the average person, I am very childlike and am not independant, and I feel that's part of my gender too, along with feeling cat-like, so hence, kitten. It feels right to me, idc, as long as people see me as valid, I'm good. Tho it's hard, my father uses he/him pronouns, but most others correct themselves, and in public I'm to shy to correct people. Still trying to get a hold of HRT, but too shy to go to doctors and stuff, and the fact that non-binary isn't a gender in my country, despite many people asking for change. (UK) buh yeh, *I feel valid, so if anybody else wants to identify with neogenders and use neopronouns, know that is a very valid thing to do and be, you are valid, all genders/pronouns/sexualities are valid!
Thats awsome! Since you use kitten as a pronoun how would that work in a sentance? I'm just curious since I don't really know how that works, although I am open to learn :)
@@OrangeJuice33 well I actually use it as a personal pronoun, like you would I. But as for the 3rd person it works like "normal"; "This morning, kitten went to the park. I went with kitten. And kitten brought kitten's frisbee. At least I think it was kitten's. By the end of the day, kitten started throwing the frisbee to kitten. " Kitten prefers these pronouns more specifically though: kitten/her/their/hers/themself. so; "This morning, kitten went to the park. I went with her. And kitten brought their frisbee. At least I think it was hers. By the end of the day, kitten started throwing the frisbee to themself." a mix is nice, to me. but any of the three groups are fine.
@@arcioko2142 "a non-binary gender that cannot be contained by human understandings of gender; more concerned with crafting other methods of gender categorization and hierarchy such as those relating to animals, plants, or other creatures/things/concepts" and according to the 2021 Gender Census with 44,583 respondents, around 3.3% identified with xenogender identities. with the most common genders being gendervoid(feeling like you have a void where a gender should be, similar to agender) and catgender. in the case of my gender, kittengender, it doesn't mean that I want to like transition into a cat, it's more of a metaphor for describing my gender, as feline/cat like and childish. In simple, an umbrella term for gender identities that are described with terms outside "standard" human understandings of gender. if you still having trouble understanding search on the r/lgballt subreddit for "atlas explains xenogender" should be the first result.
im identify as bisexual and aromantic, i use the lable of Bisexual as an umbrella term of the attraction to 1+ genders, i would have added an aro/ace spectrum line under the circles to ave somewhere to put that in
To get amazing LGBTQ flags, books, pins, jewelry, magnets, clothing, and more while supporting our educational work, please go to professorpridestore.com/.
Instructions unclear, I think my gender is omnipresent on the scale
Figuring out my sexuality has been a rollercoaster. First I thought I was bisexual, then pansexual, and now I realize I'm panromantic demisexual. Can't wait for my first Pride Month as a proud LGBTQ+ member!
same
Hey that's ace! Good for you and well done on figuring out romantic attraction! (also I'm sorry about the ace pun but I couldn't resist lol)
@@libbykenilworth you aced it
(not sorry about that pun)
Same! (Not the pan and demi bit) so exited for my forst pride month!
Oh yeah, same here comrade... as in I can't wait for my first pride month, I mean.
This surprisingly helped. For about a decade I supressed my feelings of gender dysphoria because it was too stressful on my young mind. As I went through puberty I identitied myself as a girl solely because of my sex despite lacking the ability to fully see myself as a girl in my own mind. And even now as I'm trying to unpack what I've had supressed I'm struggling to not lean on my sex/percieved gender instead on my true internal sense of self.
Yeah I get that a lot. For me, I was suppressing that I liked women, then I was suppressing that I rarely actually felt like a girl. I currently identify as bigenderflux, but I think I'm really a demiboy. Not sure though because it's hard to reject the feminine stuff that have been pushed onto me. I hope it gets better soon ❤️
I understand that, i spent years hiding and dealing with it til i couldn't anymore.
Reminder that you do NOT need to pass, take hormones or dress a certain way to be trans/nb!!! You don't need to please others' perception of gender!
So one point!
❤❤❤
i’m somewhere between female, agender, and non-binary. i hope to one day look androgynous and confuse transphobes
i relate to this a lot.
Same lol
Same
I gotta say it's a fun time confusing them. I've been called ma'am a handful of times despite being AMAB and presenting mostly masc lol (I do identify as NB though).
so genderfluid then?
Congratulations on your engagement!! This really helped me a lot, specifically the gender sheet. I'm afab genderfluid bisexual and have a hard time explaining exactly what that means to the people I love. Thank you for posting this :)❤
Wait, wdym "engagement"? Did Matt and Michael get engaged?
@@humandrawsthings1648 he mentioned "...and soon to be husband, Michael" a few times in the video
DUDE I'm afab genderfluid bisexual too WE'RE BUDDIES XD
@@conejitoburrito6526 saaame
@@Lonely_Raven_666 me too °0°
I just came out as genderfluid to my mom today! It actually went pretty well! I’m going to come out to my dad tomorrow, I’m nervous it won’t go as well, but hopefully things will be alright.
how did it go :O
Not 100% sure. He just looked at me and didn’t say anything 😅
@@randompersonontheinternet9336 hopefully he will go restock on milk
@@InAllHeavy Uh oh 😰 I hope not
No matter what anyone says, you are you. You have everyone here’s support- forever!
Hot take: I'm down to swap the acronym name for our community for "Queer". It's short, sweet, no acronym issues like comprehensivity, it can cleanly hold all of us without necessarily highlighting one part of the community, and it continues to reclaim some of those previously normal words that were used to attack us.
I'm pretty sure the word "queer" used to mean "happy" or "someone who is happy" in the past in England. It's a nice idea to use this word to simplify things since there is too many identities in the community nowadays.
@@va-v idk about in England, but far as i know "gay" was "happy," "queer" was "weird"
@@furyking380 ah, it seems I accidentally mixed the words then. Did a quick check and the word "queer" means "strange" or "peculiar". Being peculiar isn't a bad thing, so the idea of using "queer" still sounds nice!
"glbt + feminists = lgbt" Please stfu if you dont even know our history and why lesbian is the first word in the acronym. Lesbians took care of gay men during the aids crisis, not because you think its for "female empowerment"
@@va-v i agree with this statement, im a transmasc aroaceflux abrosexual ambiamorous autistic individual so many people see me as "weird" so being able to claim a word that is usually used as an insult to label myself feels like i'm getting back on them in a strange way
I am personally a non-binary aro-ace, but with my percieved gender: its literally everywhere, people think im a boy half the time, the other half the time they think im a girl, when they arent sure they perceive me as agender or non-binary, with me nobody has ever been sure about my gender, everywhere I go everyone is like: I cant tell if this is a boy or a girl (and then sometimes theres people behind me debating if I'm a boy or a girl which is awkward cause they think I can't hear them but I mean like, they aren't even whispering and im right infront of them, so thats just that i guess) although according to this I am both cisgender and transgender so I am confused.
Being non-binary is under the trans umbrella term! :>
@@Ryan_The_Thing thanks
having people whisper behind me confusedly about my gender is my dream. especially if they come up and ask me, so i can give them an answer that makes them more confused. the sheer *power* of confusing someone just by walking past them! one of my life goals honestly.
but i guess i understand why it might bother someone.
@@popplejam2128 weirdly, yeah? I feel more comfortable when people only partially understand my gender
If you feel mostly like a boy some of the time and mostly like a girl other times, you could be genderfluid, meaning you gender can change. Genderfluid is a perfectly normal and common form of nb, and is a perfectly normal form of trans, you’re not the only one like this, so feel free to learn about genderfluidity and see if it fits what you’re feeling
I want that "Drinking Homophobic Tears" coffee cup so bad, It's perfect for my collection.
Yes 😍 together with the wavy mug saying "I'm as straight as this mug"
The mug is available at pbrmerchstore.com on our official merchandise store page.
@@PoweredByRainbows When have some money I'll check it out
Not for me, I don't like salty beverages
@@diamondmemer9754 lol, then drink coffee from it.
I discovered and found out that I was non-binary on October of last year. I go by she/they despite being born in a boy's body heh. Though I still haven't discovered my sexual orientation
Congratulations on discovering who you are :) I’m intrigued by your labels of she/they. Does that mean you go by both of these labels interchangeably?
@@freppers2666 interchangeably?
@@peppermintcookie5531 As in, people can use either for you, or you change between nonbinary and female oriented identities?
I never use the "he" pronoun to myself. I know this is strange but the reason why I use "she/they" is because I behave and felt more feminine, and I never feel any masculinity at all😅
And I also struggle with coming out to my mother, especially when her parents are here, out of fear that they might disown me for who I am. My mom is supportive and used to have gay friends when she worked as a call-center agent.
Weeks ago, I've heard my grandpa rant a bit about how homosexuality is wrong after he watched a televangelical show on their TV
I wanted to emphasize your note on finding oneself is a journey. Via the flags video, I discovered the Bigender term, which is what led me to Multigender, which led to the difference between fluid Multigender and discrete Multigender which led me to the Plural community which is where I *finally* had a term for what I was aware of for 30 years previous.
If anyone watching this channel sees something that sparks a little recognition, keep chasing that thread!
wait what flag is your pfp? nice colors also
@@Shiris_box The Evil Enby flag. Basically just the non-binary flag darkened~ For when being a Nice Enby ain't cutting it!
Asexual, Omni romantic trans woman here. I'm glad this video exists. I am working on my MTF transition but I have recently been going through my Second or Third questioning Era. This is helpful and I appreciate it.
Ayyy I'm the same except I'm non-binary/agender :))))
@@aurumisgreat Awesome!
I might be nitpicking, but being agender is always a weird place when it comes to cis vs. trans. Like, I don't feel like either, so it's weird to say that. I know some agender people might identify with either, and I that's fine for them, but for my own labels, neither fits. I'm just agender. I'm not cis nor trans.
Honestly, as an agender person, it makes me uncomfortable when I'm pegged as trans just because it's under the nonbinary umbrella. I don't like the term trans and I'm not. I'm my own thing, but am quicker to say I'm cis than have to explain that how I feel about that label is weird. There's a weird perception that if you're nonbinary as a whole, you're trans when that's not true. People can be trans, cis, or something else entirely, and still exist while being nonbinary. Idk where I was headed with this, but yeah.
I decided I was a trans girl but this will be helpful for people, I owe my respect to you.
My English teachers favourite saying is ‘you’re unique just like everybody else.’
Thank you for making this video. I'm a questioning kid so having people like you is really important to me.
Same I’m a questioning kid too and this vid was really helpful to me 😊
I used to be agender but I realized that I’m comfortable with labels such as ‘boy’ or ‘guy’ and comfortable with he/they pronouns (pronouns and gender aren’t the same, but sometimes they do tie into gender) so I’m trans now
I remember seeing a similar worksheet about gender identity on a website when I was just beginning to figure out my gender. I tried to pin down a place on the worksheet where I felt like my gender belonged but could never decide on one, in other words I should have figured out that I'm genderfluid earlier lol.
As for my sexuality, I knew that I was asexual from very early on in my journey of discovering my orientation but figuring out my romantic orientation was one hell of a roller coaster. In the end, I managed to figure out that I'm aromantic :)
I didn’t see any “nobody” option on the Eros spectrum circles. Did I fail the test of did I “Ace” it? Interesting video, thank you.
Ok I chuckled at that one, thank you.
That was really informative. I've been trying to learn as much as I can about these topics. There can be a certain clarity in labels sometimes. After decades of having complicated thoughts and feelings about my gender, I determined that "bigender" fits me the best. I think that if I was clearly cis or trans it would have been simplier, and I never personally liked "non-binary" as a label because it seemed clunky. Likewise, I've known I was bisexual for a long time, but it's not an even split in attraction, so "hetro", "homo" and even "bi" all felt incomplete. Lately I've been thinking of myself as pansexual, and the different scales of attraction helps provide clarity on how attraction can vary from person to person.
This might be a really dumb question but how do you find out the difference between gender and fashion preference? For example, I’ve always been a pretty butch-ish (hate that phrase but how else do I describe it) cis gay man and never really had any problems with that but over the last few years I’ve been finding myself getting really bored with it and I want to experiment with a more non-binary style but I’m slightly confused wether that has anything at all to do with gender? Or are they 100% separate? I almost want to suggest a third gender spectrum circle for fashion preferences
For some people they are separate and for others they are not
Fashion doesn't dictate gender. If you dress masc (Butch is a lesbian term) but want to experiment with androgynous styles, that does not indicate your gender in any way. Fashion can also be a way for someone to express gender identity, but anyone of any gender can wear whatever clothes they want.
I don't think it's really about like what the tag on your clothes say about it's gender, but how you associate the gender of the clothes. I would put gender into more spectrums similar to how sexual orientation is in this video. Like maybe clothes can make you feel a stronger social and emotional association of yourself with a certain gender because of your gender association with clothes, but how you feel about your body could be different. I think it's like how it's with sexual orientation. Like nobody fits perfectly in every gender spectrum.
@@Veltorb Doesn't fashion involve a population of people, after all we talk of something becoming fashionable. Wouldn't meeting the expectations of others be fashion or at least meeting what you believe others would want of you... Wouldn't expressing yourself regardless of other's preferences and expectations be the opposite of fashion or at least an effort to change or lead fashion...
@@eggisle perceived gender doesn't dictate gender either and yet its still a circle. whats your point?
I feel as if I am just a pure pan. Panromantic pansexual and Pangender Ò_Ó"
Omg
lol thats cool
Wow so cool
😂😂I feel you!
On the gender spectrum.
You said that if your perceived gender and actual gender are aligned, you're cis gender.
But like..... no.
If my transition is incredibly successful and by all accounts I am perceived as female because of all the surgeries and hormones and voice training, I'll still be trans.
My experience through my life doesn't disappear because people have started to perceive me as my gender.
More accurately, when your sex assigned at birth aligns with your gender identity, THAT means you're cisgender.
Further, if a cisgender person presents as a gender different from their AGAB, and people perceive them as that gender, but their actual gender still aligns with their AGAB, they don't become trans.
Whether or not you are trans has nothing to do with how others perceive you.
.
Trans woman who's transition was incredibly successful = still trans
Cis man who likes to dress and appear feminine, and even passes really well = still cis
Femboys and "tomboys"* are valid and don't have to identify as trans.
The experience of trans people whose transition is successful is still valid and they still get to identify with the transgender experience.
*I know that the term "Tomboy" is often used derogatorily. I don't mean it that way. I would use another term, but I don't know one.
The only positive use I can think of for labels is that they can actually bring similar people together, labels shorten complicated descriptions and can be easily searched at the internet if you ever need to find other people similar to you.
You do not need to know how to precisely describe yourself in terms of gender expression, gender identity, "adult fun time" orientation, romantic orientation, relationship orientation, or any other orientation identity.
I took literal decades to figure out what was my transgender identity and my "adult fun time" orientation, I only realized in the past few months that my romantic orientation is in a somewhat grayromantic area which I do not have the precise words to label, alongside my relationship orientation, which turned out to be fluidamorous.
I'm questioning my sexuality and gender almost daily and it's exhausting because on the one hand I don't really care about labels but on the other hand it would be nice to have some for validation and being easier to talk about. I don't have the energy to think about it right now so I'm trying to push it to the back of my mind🙃
Yeah same. I feel like bisexual but im stil questionning myself for some reasons 🤔
I actually ended my questioning like 2 months ago and your channel helped me a lot. I even managed to find out who of my parents is supportive without seeming suspicious and now I know who to come out when I'm ready. I'm so happy I ran into this channel.
Lots of love from a proud genderfluid & omnisexual individual!
*Edit:* Yeah...I guess the questioning didn't end bc now I identify as a AFAB/FAAB genderfluid neptunic gray-sexual person
Thank you for this video, I have been confused about my gender for a while now and I realised that I am a trans girl. This really does help a lot!
I'm a slightly masculine cis woman, and overall in terms of sexuality I'd put the dots in the center almost everywhere, maybe eeeever so slightly towards men emotionally and mentally, because I just connect better with guys and most of my friends are male...
But yeah, I'm absolutely pansexual. I mean, come on - pans make you feel so warm inside you could literally fry, can you even get better than that? ;P
I get the Gender spectrum part, but the Orientation spectrum is confusing me currently. I think I will have to watch that part a few more times before I feel I understand these 7 categories better. It's not an issue of presentation but just my own difficulties in understanding language/words.
I'll get it eventually. 🙂👍
Honestly, I think the emotional+mental and physical+aesthetical could be combined into one category each. They’re extremely similar!
The sensual x sexual are also similar, but I’ve seen people use it in a different way, like… sensual attraction would be the desire to partake in any sensorial activity that is not sexual (like hugging, cuddling, holding hands, quick kisses, etc) and sexual attraction would be linked only to sexual activities.
I’ve seen asexuals defining like that because some feel sensual attraction, just not the sexual.
i was called they/them at work today for the first time because one of my fellow nonbinary coworkers noticed the they/them pronouns pin i put on my apron alongside my she/her pin. my closest friends percieve me as nonbinary, and it feels amazing to finally have my percieved gender slowly match up with my actual gender. while i still get called "ma'am" and "miss" by strangers, and my parents still use my deadname because i havent had the guts to ask them not to, it's progress and it means a lot to me.
Hello!
I’m non-binary and genderfluid, and I go by she/her/they/them, but it really depends on the day.
As for sexual orientation, I’m not 100% sure, but at the moment, I think I am asexual panromantic.
Hi! I'm non-binary and asexual panromantic too! :D
I thought I was a cis gender Heterosexual female but I realized looking back in my time at middle school that I was insecure about my chest. Not because of the size but because I didn’t real feel like a girl (also I didn’t like the school uniforms) and i’m was trying to develop a sense of fashion not really feminine not really masculine feeling like a they/them but still look feminine.
So I’m a Genderfluid Demigirl and about my sexual orientation I realize that I might like other genders too but I want to get to know them emotionally. So I’m also Omnisexual Demisexual Demiromantic person too
I go by cis and straight. Not a perfect label, but the best fit for me.
Same tbh. No label is perfect, but it’s a good enough approximation
Cisn't and straigh'nt
@@mapletooth cis* and straight*
edit: the asterisks are meant to hint at a clarification note, not as a correction.
@@mapletooth Cisn't and straightn't
When you say the homophobes in our life aren’t perfectly straight, it reminds me of my mom. She literally told me how she had a crush on a girl, and even kissed her, then goes on the claim that she felt guilty because god tugged on her heart telling her it’s wrong. No, you felt guilty because you where raised to feel guilty, not because God said so. 😭🥲
Math wise, if there is 1,000,000 points on each circle, and 7 circles, it would be 1,000,000^7, or 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000... not 49,000,000~
Even if there were only 100 spots, it would take 10,000 earth's to have a 66% chance of a perfect match! (Assuming uniform distribution)
wow
Except that in each case you've numerated, there's actually infinite number of points per both math and physics.
@@johnwang9914 Um... so I was saying the numbered math in the vid was too small due to not combining correctly, so I was just using the numbers provided.
2) You say per physics, which is an overstatement. Per physics, there is a finite set of points due to the Planck Length
mathmatically this entire chart is incorrect since a circle is entirely the wrong way to represent gender identity or sexual/emotational/romatic attraction. also mathematically there is no limit to the amount of points in a circle and the amount of points in a circle is entirely irrelevant. since the limit of how unique people are is based on people not the amount of points on a diagram.
Recently (or the start of this year honestly) I've been struck with the idea of trying to figure my butt out. And I went from being like
"Oh I must be Asexual"
To
"Do I hate my own body or something?"
So, I went from Asexual to Non-Binary and then to pure hell of confusion (not because of the terms that stuff is given though, it's because I can't tell that myself)
So it's a rollercoaster of both dysphoria and homophobia because my mother is homophobic (though, she don't know about my shenanigans, the closest she's got to knowing me was today by knowing what music I listen to because I accidentally left it on). But I'm not sure about my father hence he agrees with my mother so there won't be a long ass argument and I can totally see why.
Thank you for making this video for helping me a bit further in discovering myself :D
Hey! Don't take this as fact, but I feel like identity is easier to identify if you focus on what makes you feel comfortable rather than what makes you uncomfortable, because uncomfortability can be caused by a lot of things, but if you feel more comfortable with a certain label or pronoun and it gives you a relief then that's probably closer to how you feel like
@@1kaz1 Eyy, thank you random person, I'll be sure to take your advice
@@pasareakiwi4169 no problem ^^'
Finally i found a channel about lgbtqia+
"forget about what's between your legs"
the cat sleeping between my legs:
I find for the orientation worksheet there needs to be another point which represents not feeling that section. A = Everyone, F.M.N being those genders, but there needs to be another point opposite of A. For example someone might not feel sensual attraction to anyone but aesthetically finds non-binary people attractive - so you can't just replace Non-binary with "Nope, none of that'
Some advice I learned from Ace Dad is that labels are tools to help you understand and communicate about your experience, not boxes you have to fit into. So while you might not find the Perfect Label™, you can still find a comfortable label (or labels) that is/are close enough to help you better describe your experience, or you might find that you feel better without one! Ultimately, it's up to you alone to decide if/how you label, so find what feels good!
I once called myself "schrodingers trans man" and then found out I was boyflux.
I fell into a different rabbit hole, first it was the dark souls lore, automotive history, aeronautical, watches and now this. Unironically, i dont understand this stuff. But i love just watching people talk about interesting topics
I've always pronounced Storge as STOR-gay...
I really love this video, it is so very informative. I really love how you measured all of the four types of love, it is really quite comprehensive. Keep up the great work, Prof. Pride!!!!
I noticed how my sexuality have been changing SO MUCH over the years (2008 is when I'm born)
2008-2015: Straight
2015-2017: Just found out about LGBTQ and became Bisexual Biromantic (since before I did have crushes on both girls and boys and thinking that the girl crush is just friends)
2017-2018: Learning more about LGTBQ and thought I was Pansexual Panromantic
2018-2020: Found out more about more labels and thought I was Pansexual Panromantic & Genderfluid
2020-2020 end: Found out sex and noticing how I feel neutral about it but DO NOT WANT TO HAVE IT. Asexual Panromantic & Genderfluid
2021-2021 June: Found out more about Genders and labeled myself as Girlflux since I'm kind of different from the Genderfluid definition where I thought with intensity and never got to a point thinking about myself as boys. Asexual, Panromantic, Girlflux
2021 June- 2021 End: Slowly noticing that Biromantic fit more so I changed again LOL
2021 End - Now: Ace-Biro-Girlflux
Edit: Oh and now I did have a second where I think I'm Abrosexual (but no after I found out about Asexual label)
Edit AGAIN: OH AND I helped mah friend found out about LGBT and she told me she is Bi
@@keyboarddancers7751 wdym?
I'm still confused about my gender. I have a female body and I like it, but my personality goes more to the male side (I'm not feminine at all), so I feel like both.
Also, I like to imagine engaging in sexual activities with a girl, but I don't think I feel very romantic about it. I guess I prefer a relationship with a man. And I think I'm Demiromantic and demisexual.
I also never had any crushes and barely felt any attraction towards anyone. Except... My friend was looking very beautiful last week, never seen her like this. Got a huge blush out of me.
I am confusion... 💀
Non-binary labels have so much different identities, I myself use demiboy to describe myself.
I am afab and Its not very safe for me to be a trans in my country, so I am forced to cling to femininity. But I dont always dislike it, sometimes I feel very up to feminine clothes. I dont feel like a girl when I wear them, I still feel like a boy, just pretty. So being "non-binary but closer to male" is fuzzy enough and concrete enough for my experience.
@@chimerasofhafgufa I'm debating with myself if I'm just a tomboy (if I understood that term right) or demigender. I read about demigender and I think that what fits most to me, but I'm still not sure what exactly a demigirl and boy are, how you differentiate between the two (Gotta ask dr. Google again).
I think having a female body is kinda hot, but I think I also wouldn't mind being in a male body. So, I don't really care what my body is. Maybe I'd have an actual social life if I'd be male, since every guy gets accepted by all the other guys where I live.
My mom always tells me that I act, talk and walk like a man, and that's also what I want to be like. I also prefer to dress in a non-binary and/or masculine style.
Do you have any idea?
(Sorry for asking btw)
@@theoneandonly3945 demigirl is under the nonbinary umbrella and describes someone who partially identifies as a girl and partially identifies as something else! demiboy is the same thing but the boy version, hope you can figure out but don't feel like you have to rush you have all the time in the world trust me
@@Lol-tr6cu Thanks ^^
I found my perfect word at 3:15
confused.
I am very confused about everything about myself.
I'm actually having a hard time lately because i don't know what gender I am. I feel like gender fluid is the best explanation but I never felt female, it's like today: I woke up feeling like a male, but by now, the end of the day, I'm feeling like some kind of mix between male and female, maybe non-binary or something, and I use to change a lot, sometimes it takes days sometimes, in hours. So it confuses me so much...
The orientation part was very cool I actually learned a lot about myself while using it
The intense urge to draw a spiral on the actual gender circle has won i am a spiral.
So far what I have found is I am cisgendered female, quite tomboyish and demisexual. I have only ever been sexually attracted to one person in my life which happens to be my bf now. I’ve learned a lot through this, I am also an INFJ and prefer minimalist androgynous clothing style. I’ll have to look into these.
Although it still does not make sense to me, for many reasons, specially as to why you even feel the need to label yourself something, this video definitely makes me understand the topic better than before, you're a very well spoken individual and you explained it in a digestible way.
I came out 18 days ago :D
I'm bisexual and panromantic!!!
Can't wait for Pride Month
I'm just a straight cis-female, but I like to watch these videos to educate myself :). Thanks
I really like the orientation one because it includes many categories rather than just one overall. I usually say I’m straight because I’m not sexually attracted to women but aesthetically, physically and mentally I am. Really helpful
You are actually way more unique than what he says :D
- In case you don't wanna hear the explanation, getting the seven circles the exact same as somebody else is equal to 1 in infinity but since in this hypothetical scenario there is only a million units per circle, seven circles are 1 in 10^42 or 1 in a Tredecillion and, with the other two that goes up to 1 in 10^54 or 1 in a Septendecillion
So basically he said that there are a million possibilities that one of your circles matches someone else's exactly, although the possibilities would have been infinite just for one circle, with only a million units it is now very easy to get the 9 circles the exact same as somebody else, compared to 1 in infinity, I said compared to one in infinity since just with two circles it already goes up to 1 trillion, this is since the chance has to repeat 2 times. It is so hard since even if the first one is the exact same as someone else's but in the second circle is off by just 1 unit it would already be different, and this is why normally the chance is one in infinity as you can be off by just .000000000001 cm and it wouldn't count as equal but, by having only a million possibilities, that option doesn't exist anymore, going back to the solutions, there is a formula, number of possibilities ^ number of repetitions, and following this formula this is all simplified to 1,000,000^7 which, since the last number is a one and 1x1=1 we only have to multiply the zeros, so 6 (Number of zeros) x 7 = 42, which means that just for the first seven it's already 10^42 and, if you wanna do the other two, we can go back to the original value of 1 million and do 1,000,000^9 or do (10^42) x (10^12) [12 is the number of zeros you would have after doing 1,000,000^2] so the final result is that you are one in a septendecillion (1 in 10^52)! :)
Guys!!! I’m agender! So happy there’s a label for how i feel :) Thought i was alone in not connecting with gender.
Woooo! Welcome to the club!
@@alexwallace6904 yay thank you for the welcome :)
Welcome to the agender club a place where agender won't be autocorrected to a gender something we don't have
This video was helpful, though I still have doubts if I'm right about my orientation. Does anyone have a similar experience to this?
Romantically: Almost exclusively opposite gender
Physically: Closer to my own gender, but doesn't completely exclude the opposite gender
Aesthetically: Closer to the opposite gender, but doesn't completely exclude my own gender
Sexually: Somewhere in the middle, maybe somewhat closer to my own gender
The rest are somewhere in the middle, slightly leaning towards the opposite gender
honestly, my self discovery was (and still is) a line graph with no connotation. I thought I was bi, then aro, then pan, then gay, and now I'm kinda in between bi and gay. With gender, at first I thought, non-binary, then doubted myself, then trans-fem, then cis, then non-binary, (repeat cycle like 50 times) aaaand now I've been blended into a non-binary genderfluid. People who don't know me perceive me as female, which I used to get annoyed at, but now I realize "oh wait that feel better than being called a guy what?" and my family always perceives me as a guy, even though I'm out to some of them. Proud to celebrate my first pride month out!
OMG thank you so much, after a year of questing my gender identity I finally found it from this video , thank you
What’s funny is that my perceived gender is sometimes non-bindery but I’m actually a cis girl. It doesn’t bother me though, I kinda don’t care how people perceive me, I just dress how I feel on a given day
I've never seen this understanding of attraction! things that I didn't understand about myself prior are now way clearer. Like the difference between physical and aesthetic is actually so important and I didn't know about it. Equally the difference between emotional mental and romantic is super helpful for me. Just so many things are starting to make sense thanks to this model. Thank you for this video!
You don't have to cling to identities because of peer pressure either, labels might not be for you and that's also OK. Love and be kind ❤❤
“it’s hard to figure out who you are inside”
Me to my friend: *what is pansexual*
Them: are you stupid
Me: *what is it*
Them: it means when you like all genders and not just girls/boys
Me now: *I am pan*
Me now: *thank you bestie*
I am non-binary and bi I feel comfortable with these labels. It took me a while to tell wether my attraction to men or was just gender envy.
im a genderdoe (genderfluid but im never a man/masculine) asexual intersex lesbian, and im so glad that the complexity of gender is becoming more and more wellknown. i always wondered why one day femininity gave me euphoria, and the next it gave me dysphoria; i always just assumed i was a cis girl with problems lol. learning that genderfluidity doesnt always mean youre sometimes a man, and learning about nonbinary genders and even lacking gender, it's brought me so much self understanding and confidence.
"Romantically, I'm almost entirely towards males"
"Almost entirely towards males"
*"Almost entirely"*
O.o
As a genderfluid person I just stamped the actual gender circle and had it completely filled in.
When you identify a cis woman but sometimes they/them sounds nice, it'd just be nice to be free of gendered expectations and be treated like a person instead of an object to be desired. Idk maybe it's stupid
Thing about gender is that it is not easy, if at all possible, to separate it from 'social views and expectations' of it because of its socially constructed aspects. It's easy to have doubts or want a 'break' from expectations regardless of what gender you are - and I'll freely admit in most societies women get the brunt of the 'expectations'.
It'd be interesting to see how people identify in terms of numbers in a society with a lot less scrutiny and baggage.
It's not stupid! Being labeled as a "she" is very very hard sometimes. If you feel comfortable with "they" pronouns that's totally fine, and doesn't necessarily mean that you're trans, but I strongly suggest that you look more into these gender things since it can really help to understand yourself better, even if you're not trans 😊
this is sooo helpfull it made me realise my sexuality a bit more i have been an out bi sexual for like a year but lately i started questioning my gender sooo perfect video perfect timing thanks a lot!!
For me the journey began because I was trying to make sense of who I was. Initially I didn’t even know that’s what it was I was doing but as I’ve learned more I’ve become more comfortable with myself because I don’t feel crazy anymore. So I didn’t do it to tell anyone else who I am but I did do it to tell myself who I am
Thanks for the help, I am now assured that I am male. I was questioning, but I really thought about it, and came to the final decision, I am a cis male.
As an asexual panromantic transfemme non-binary person, this was fun to watch. Really explains gender and sexuality/romanticism in a way i didn't have growing up.
i thought i was polysexual, then omnisexual, and then pansexual. now recently i figured out that i was confused about who i liked and who i was attracted to because i was actually asexual and aromantic. woww, how these things woke out, right?
Oh my god that part with physical and sexual attraction makes so much sense! Finally I am sure I am ace. There was some confusion about physical appreciation of people yet not wanting to do anything with them
Thank you so much for making these videos and educating us.
This is very well put together! Well done! I'm glad people who are just figuring themselves out have a nice presentation like this to help them a bit. When I was figuring my own labels out it was, well, let's just call it messy (and that's being generous!) Seeing these topics of self discovery explained so simply and without any judgement or bias makes me happy, if also a teeny bit wistful that i was a bit too old to have this, too....
Here's my orientation chart as a questioning fraysexual heterosexual.
Emotionally: Agender, slightly towards female
Physically: Almost all the way agender, but slightly towards males
Sexually: Agender
Mentally: Agender but slightly towards females
Sensually: Halfway between males and agender
Aesthetically: Mostly towards female but balanced between female and agender
Romantically: Male
This actually helped me understand myself a lot better, thank you so much. I'm waiting until I'm older to put a label on it, but I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum. Thank you so much.
I am trans (mtf). I have not worn men's clothing in several years, but my family has no clue. My family members will go on tirades about trans people while I am sitting across from them in leggings. They have all seen me in skirts at some point, but it never sinks in. It is quite entertaining sometimes. What do you do when no one recognizes it even after you start representing your true gender?
This isn’t very helpful for me. Firstly, You forgot to mention that you can fall completely outside a circle, eg. nullgender, asexual, and aromantic. Secondly those descriptions of the seven forms of attraction didn’t make sense as to what they actually mean to me. Thirdly, just because I believe we are all people, I love humanity, and would do “romantic things” (which as you defined it, going out of my way to make their life better, which to me with that wording includes holding the door for someone) doesn’t mean I want to have anything to do with them, or whether or not I find them repulsive. I just do nice things not taking into account any kind of attraction. I dunno this is just how I am.
Nullgender is in the center of the circle. Asexual, again in the middle of the circle. And Aromantic once again is in the center of the circle.
@@PoweredByRainbows but agender and bull gender are different. I like to describe it as such: your brain is a garage with boxes in it. You rummage around, find the box labeled gender, and discover it empty you’re agender. However if you go looking for said box and are unable to find it you’re nullgender.
@@PoweredByRainbows if these nullgender, asexual, romantic, and agender options are entirely disconnected from the rest of the points of the diagram then it simply should not be inside the shape at all and should be separate. As I said in my own comment there are many flaws with this diagram that you tried to use to represent these concepts however I see what you were trying to do. If you look at my own comment I suggest using a square or a circle depending on if these "null" options have a relation to the rest of the options in the diagram.. If these Asexual, agender and such concepts have a relationship with the rest then it should be a square however this would mean that one could for example be partially agender while also feeling more male or more female and such. If that is not the case and one can be only agender with no doubt at all then it should be independent from the spectrum entirely. as a concept what your did makes sense but as a correct scientific and mathmatical diagram this is a total mess. Just to be clear im saying all of this to help not to degrade or anything like that. I just hope that you can correct this and make a visual spectrum that actually makes sense since it is a lot more complex than just putting points on a circle and hoping it works.
Congratulations on your wedding to Michael.
If you don't mind me asking, how would you say autism effects understandings of gender and sexuality?
I'm wondering partly because I'm autistic and sometimes I've been told that because I 'have autism' I don't understand orientation and gender.
Anyway, hope you're all having a gay day.
There are neurodivergent gender labels (and ones for autism too) if that feels comfortable for you.
If not, im sorry that people are saying that. That sounds so uneducated on their part 😢
@@astralorbitor Thank you for your kindness and understanding. Its a strange kind of thing given how there's an assumption that people will be heterosexual but it seems that if someone has any kind of disability or neurodiversity then the assumption is flipped.
On the plus side, as time goes by there is definitely signs of improvement, being 31 I can remember when there was a lot less understanding.
@@edspace. Lol I just look at your channel it’s very interesting (and sometimes funny)
@@astralorbitor Thank you, I hope to make a space for happiness online. Especially with all the unhappiness out there.
@@edspace. so inspiring!(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)❤❤❤❤
I fell in love with my homophobic friend what do u call that lol :)?..
Thank you for doing this. I genuinely had no idea that being agender (autocorrected to Avenger which I also wouldn't mind being lol) was a thing until I saw this, and now I feel like that describes me more perfectly than anything. I wasn't desperate to find a label before but I'm glad that I have now. This was greatly appreciated. 😊❤️
Me: *is perfectly in the center for all 7 circles on the second chart*
Why was the love part so much harder for me than gender XD
I’m a man and I like women
depending on what gender you were born with you are either
cisgender straight
or
transgender straight
If you can't find the perfect label then design one of your own that fits exactly right!
I’m comfortable with my sexuality as I’m Greyasexual Aromantic, but I’m confused about my gender: I partially identify as a woman, I mean hell my pronouns are She/He, but I tend to struggle with my identity as I thought that I was a Demigirl but I felt like there’s more to my identity than it meets the eye
The intensity of me feeling female fluxuates and my sexuality also does. But I also would consider myself nonbinary and poly or bisexual for making it more simple.
Im genderfluid, mostly feminine identifying and feminizing but a touch masculine sometimes as well.
My interests are largely gay in nature, but its perfectly valid for a guy to be into me and for them to be straight identifying.
Then again i also had bottom surgery a year ago so that also helps.
I wanna cut my hair but my parents won’t let me and every time I ask to they yell at me asking me if I wanna look like a boy 😢
So aesthetical attraction is the kind of the one in Exist for love I guess? Like, how our love is connected to nature and universe🌌
This basically says that sometimes labels have bouderies but there shouldn't be. It's a bit like a circle graph, you might be closer to the edge then others but identify by how you want.
ive figured out my gender (and sexuality) a little bit ago (3 months) and im Transgender (MtF) Pansexual and i dont have any physical attraction i love people for their personality.
Alright now tell me how to tell the difference between romantic and platonic
i often wonder that myself. maybe someone should find a way for schools to teach kindergardners that otherwise we just have stories with happily ever afters, dating, kissing and all that. thankgoodness physical affection as a way to show love is a social concept. some cultures don't have lovvydovvie smooshing, and some cultures handholding is for anyone in any situations
I don't mean to be nit picky but with finding your gender thing, you described that wanting to be feminine or masculine and dressing in those ways as being your gender or around your gender which it can be but also some people can dress different to there gender or want to be more feminine or masculine without that being there gender, but all that aside I love these videos.
Is it normal that i feel Aromantic for men but Asexual for women??
I had some doubt that genderfluid was the right label for me until you showed the gender circle and I realized my actual gender dot would be on different places on different days
*No matter what you Identify as, you are valid*
I'm *non binary*, specifically a *kittengender*, idc if you think it's weird, it feels right to me, I've identified with other things in the past, but they dont feel right. *kittengender* feels right to me, for some reason I can't explain. my pronouns are *Kitten/She/They*, and I am a *Greyromantic-Pansexual*.
I am very feminine. cute( tho I dont admit it, dont tell anyone) kitten.
I have autism, and part of what I see as gender is the fact much more regressed than the average person, I am very childlike and am not independant, and I feel that's part of my gender too, along with feeling cat-like, so hence, kitten. It feels right to me, idc, as long as people see me as valid, I'm good.
Tho it's hard, my father uses he/him pronouns, but most others correct themselves, and in public I'm to shy to correct people.
Still trying to get a hold of HRT, but too shy to go to doctors and stuff, and the fact that non-binary isn't a gender in my country, despite many people asking for change. (UK)
buh yeh,
*I feel valid, so if anybody else wants to identify with neogenders and use neopronouns, know that is a very valid thing to do and be, you are valid, all genders/pronouns/sexualities are valid!
Thats awsome! Since you use kitten as a pronoun how would that work in a sentance? I'm just curious since I don't really know how that works, although I am open to learn :)
xenogenders, i still dont know what they are exactly, could you mind explaining
@@OrangeJuice33 well I actually use it as a personal pronoun, like you would I.
But as for the 3rd person it works like "normal";
"This morning, kitten went to the park.
I went with kitten.
And kitten brought kitten's frisbee.
At least I think it was kitten's.
By the end of the day, kitten started throwing the frisbee to kitten. "
Kitten prefers these pronouns more specifically though:
kitten/her/their/hers/themself.
so;
"This morning, kitten went to the park.
I went with her.
And kitten brought their frisbee.
At least I think it was hers.
By the end of the day, kitten started throwing the frisbee to themself."
a mix is nice, to me.
but any of the three groups are fine.
@@SmolYui Thank you! You have helped me understand it better :D
@@arcioko2142 "a non-binary gender that cannot be contained by human understandings of gender; more concerned with crafting other methods of gender categorization and hierarchy such as those relating to animals, plants, or other creatures/things/concepts" and according to the 2021 Gender Census with 44,583 respondents, around 3.3% identified with xenogender identities. with the most common genders being gendervoid(feeling like you have a void where a gender should be, similar to agender) and catgender.
in the case of my gender, kittengender, it doesn't mean that I want to like transition into a cat, it's more of a metaphor for describing my gender, as feline/cat like and childish.
In simple, an umbrella term for gender identities that are described with terms outside "standard" human understandings of gender.
if you still having trouble understanding search on the r/lgballt subreddit for "atlas explains xenogender" should be the first result.
im identify as bisexual and aromantic, i use the lable of Bisexual as an umbrella term of the attraction to 1+ genders, i would have added an aro/ace spectrum line under the circles to ave somewhere to put that in
Found out im an orientated-Aroace, (Aromantic and asexual) Demigirl. Everyone is vaild, regardless of gender or orientation!!!