I became an air traffic controller. I still struggle with social interactions but I’ve been able to say F it and try to be a bit more social and out going.
This was great, I've been looking for "is being shy the same as social anxiety?" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Senonnor Puzzling Superiority - (do a google search ) ? It is a smashing one off product for discovering how to conquer your social anxiety without the headache. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my cousin got amazing results with it.
I’ve definitely improved my social anxiety over the years. However, I still have this limiting belief that I am not worthy because my social anxiety makes me not able to pay attention during conversations and it’s really hard for me to articulate my thoughts. It’s extremely debilitating. I wish I could just relax during one on one interaction, but I just feel like my Social anxiety just creeps up every time.
Ray Rumedi I've had the same thought. I'll never be able to relax in one to one interactions. I've done a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy & I'm somewhat better, but I still get overwhelmed at times.
@@tasmxiwslwisnei have heard that although alcohol helps momentarily, it will cause irreversible dependence over time and makes things even worse. Avoid it if you can
It's learned nervous system Dyregulation rooted in the Unconscious mind. I'm currently doing a specific modality of hypnotherapy to process out this curse I've also suffered with
I think exposure therapy is part of the healing process, but I think you first need a strong cognitive foundation first to take into the situation. You can't put the cart before the horse.
My parents are mr and mrs hitler , I'm 41 and stuck in this " I don't deserve any happiness ". I've done more " stuff" then my peers but I still feel even a two year old baby is more lovable then I am.
I Just moved in an office with over 200 people and I realized I had social anxiety. I have been told a few times I am ugly. My mother died when I was 5 years old. My father was never around he was working and dating women. I have had bad relationships with narccist. I need a solution.
So sorry to hear this....as u said u have social anxiety....do you ignore people ...or if someone coming toward u in office do u feel nurvous? I have social anxiety and some time I ignor people or just pretent I didn't saw them...it's just create anxiety....I don't know why...
Aw sweetheart, don't belive people who say such cruel things. The things those type of people say are absolutely worthless. If you watched kids playing on a play ground and saw a couple of obvious bullies saying things like that to a girl on a playground and you saw her tear up and get crushed by it, you'd most likely tell her that those kids don't mean anything that their opinion is worthless. When you see some kids be the way they are, you can sometimes roll your eyes at what they say because you see the kind of kid they are. At least for me it's easier to see what garbage a kid says and be like there is no weight to what they say at all because I see how stupid they talk and they have no integrity about them then it sometimes helps to see how these kinds of kids grow up and still say the stupid junk to adults. What they say doesn't amount to a hill of beans, it's the same playground bullies who became adults but never grew up.
when i came in people in social situation they look at me .and i focus on myself .and i think that i have some thing wrong and anxiety is started.how i get rid of this .plz help me
I would suggest exploring cognitive distortions and (if appropriate when you feel ready) try gently exposing yourself to more situations where you will be looked at
I got social anxiety last year and I’m in 11th grade and I had to drop out of school because it was so bad, do u think it is something teens go through and I will get over it?
I got social anxiety in class 9th and my parents recommended me to drop the school for some years but i denied them by saying if nobel prize winner professor jhon nash who had schizophrenia if he could study well after having schizophrenia so the social anxiety is very small thing and if Stephen Hawkings achieved heavy success only using his brain because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis so social anxiety is very small thing.... so i just only want to say you never give up
@@mr.hacker9312 That's a great way to look at it. Just take it day by day don't worry about how many years until you graduate or stuff like that. I'm a sophomore in hs and have had social anxiety for a little over a year now. It can get very depressing but you just got to keep going and enjoy what you can. Don't let social anxiety affect something as big as and important as your education. Also if you or the guy who commented this would like to maybe text over instagram or something that'd be great. I sort of need someone to talk to that can really relate.
Yes, i also got social anxiety in 11 class, now i am in last year of engineering and yes you can overcome this just push yourself little bit to overcome your fear and it will all be gone and you be like a normal person
From my understanding it's not just something you "grow out of" or that gets better on it's own. In fact, it tends to get more serious the longer you leave it. If you've had to drop out of high school because of it, I'd say it's already pretty serious. Please try and speak to a mental health professional if you can. It was the most important thing I did
Hey how are you doing now? I totally understand how you feel. I wish all us people who deal with social anxiety would be able to identify each other in public places and kinda look out for each other and be a friend to each other in each situation. Because we understand each other, we could kinda let our guard down and sometimes people won't judge you as much if they know you have bad social anxiety and if they deal with it to. Hope you're doing well. Schools can be so heartless.
Thanks for the message and the support :) SAD is a massive problem, so hope the channel can shine a light on it and let more people know they are not alone and that there is a way out
@@KiDCuDii97 thanks a lot, I'm glad I can help in some way. You're also welcome to jump on the phone for a chat if you want any advice or help. You can email me to arrange if you want: ed@crushsocialanxiety.org
I think most, if not all, can trace back experiences that determine their sense of self-esteem and current habits that are raising or lowering it. Habits for sure - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy habit can certainly help indeed - challenging yourself to further expose to anxiety provoking situations but in new ways if the current long-term exposures are not working. There can be some genetic factor involved with predispositions that affect self-esteem but experiences are certainly more powerful.
Johan Abrams I think there probably are some biological predispositions. Ones genetic make up is pretty much that. I also believe strongly in CBT. I guess everyone has their own battles to fight in life.
What do you think of mindfulness, particularly when focussed in the body, when interacting socially? It feels like I am tapping into a new dimension when I do this because I am able to see the narratives for what they are - conditioning, not our true nature. Would love to see a video on that.
Please check out the video on meditation. I'll try to make another with more in-depth analysis. Being "embodied" and focusing on what's happening internally (interoception) can be extremely useful
I don’t know if I have social anxiety. I’m confused about it because I don’t know the difference between shy and social anxiety. I have trouble making friends, and the few friends I have a hard time connecting with them. I also have low self esteem, low self confidence, and low self worth. I honestly just need advice? I need help understanding why it’s hard for me to make friends and to talk to people in general.
@@BlazeHazey I think for me personally it’s because I’m insecurities. I’m shy but once I’m comfortable around someone I’m no longer shy. So, I think for me I need to understand the difference between a good friend and someone whose just around to use me.
I have realised that it all stems from low self esteem and confidence, which I am having a tough time building up. Everytime i may be successful building a bit of confidence, there is definitely a situation which puts me down emotionally . And this pattern just keeps continuing
This is completely true. And if anyone is Muslim here you'll see this makes sense. He says "your ability to cope with life's challenges" rooting with how strong our Iman is. The more you build your relationship with Allah, the more your ability to cope with life's challenges increase therefore increasing self esteem. This slowly cures your social anxiety. I've seen this happen in front of me. Islam indeed does have the answer to every disease, Subhanallah.
I just fucking hate myself. I feel like a waste of space on this planet like I can’t get good at anything and I feel like everyone’s better than me. Every time I’m out in public, I’m always so self conscious and anxious about myself, I feel like I’m the most ugliest person ever and everyone can see it and are just judging the fuck out of me. I’m 15 turning 16 in a month and it’s not too long before I start college. But I don’t think I can do it, I can’t handle meeting new people and actually talking to them so I’m thinking of ways to kill myself right before college starts. I’m not that smart, I’m not that good-looking, I’m not that talented, I’m just a fucking mess tbh and I don’t want to show everyone my weaknesses. Sorry if this makes no sense like I said I’m not that smart.
I really recommend speaking to a counsellor or therapist. You're young enough to deal with these issues early on. If you leave them unaddressed, there's a good chance they'll get a lot worse. Please speak to someone and let me know how you get on (crushsocialanxiety@gmail.com). Sending you positive vibes
Me identifico demasiado contigo, me gustaría poder ser tu amiga por qué haci nos entenderíamos demasiado y tendríamos una increíble amistad. Tengo 16 y tengo baja autoestima, también me considero cero inteligente, me siento muy sola. Me gustaría que me pasarás tu Instagram para poder hablar :)
I'm not sure about this advice. For example, doing things I never thought I could do. I never thought I could become a billionaire for example. If I attempt to do it and I fail again it is like even worse. Even for smaller tasks like asking for help at reception, going back when embarrassed or ashamed at lack of competency in an area, or overwhelming anxiety to the point of preferring to go home than go back to the swimming pool session I paid for. It's like, I get going back and doing things I failed at is good, but what if I am overwhelmed and can't do them and fail more and worse the next time.
It's all learned Nervous System Dyregulation/Trauma Patterns rooted in the Unconscious mind. I'm currently doing a specific modality of Hypnotherapy to process out my social anhedonia and expression stifling which has been inhibiting my overall self-esteem and mental health.
@@TheSocialAnxietyCoach video.. I think it's supposed to say.. I don't remember your video now. But I guess what I was saying is more actual useful content and but just promo.. hate when videos do that.. No point in them
Do you have low self-esteem? What are you doing to improve it?
I'm taking a hard look at what the bad things I tell myself are, and I challenge them rationally, I show myself self-compassion as much as I can
I became an air traffic controller. I still struggle with social interactions but I’ve been able to say F it and try to be a bit more social and out going.
This was great, I've been looking for "is being shy the same as social anxiety?" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Senonnor Puzzling Superiority - (do a google search ) ? It is a smashing one off product for discovering how to conquer your social anxiety without the headache. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my cousin got amazing results with it.
It's the facial blushing I have that seems to give me the low self esteem and Shyness I have carried with me for 45 yrs.How can I overcome this.?
I’ve definitely improved my social anxiety over the years. However, I still have this limiting belief that I am not worthy because my social anxiety makes me not able to pay attention during conversations and it’s really hard for me to articulate my thoughts. It’s extremely debilitating. I wish I could just relax during one on one interaction, but I just feel like my Social anxiety just creeps up every time.
Ray Rumedi
I've had the same thought. I'll never be able to relax in one to one interactions. I've done a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy & I'm somewhat better, but I still get overwhelmed at times.
Not that it's the answer but alcohol is extremely effective. I cling onto the thought I can transfer that ability when drunk to being sober.
@@tasmxiwslwisnei have heard that although alcohol helps momentarily, it will cause irreversible dependence over time and makes things even worse. Avoid it if you can
It's learned nervous system Dyregulation rooted in the Unconscious mind. I'm currently doing a specific modality of hypnotherapy to process out this curse I've also suffered with
I have fought against it for my whole life and now that I'm 30 have worked on myself .
I think exposure therapy is part of the healing process, but I think you first need a strong cognitive foundation first to take into the situation. You can't put the cart before the horse.
My parents are mr and mrs hitler , I'm 41 and stuck in this " I don't deserve any happiness ". I've done more " stuff" then my peers but I still feel even a two year old baby is more lovable then I am.
The 3 core drivers of Social Anxiety;
• Low self esteem
• Toxic shame
• Mal adaptive thinking patterns
I Just moved in an office with over 200 people and I realized I had social anxiety. I have been told a few times I am ugly. My mother died when I was 5 years old. My father was never around he was working and dating women. I have had bad relationships with narccist. I need a solution.
So sorry to hear this....as u said u have social anxiety....do you ignore people ...or if someone coming toward u in office do u feel nurvous? I have social anxiety and some time I ignor people or just pretent I didn't saw them...it's just create anxiety....I don't know why...
Aw sweetheart, don't belive people who say such cruel things. The things those type of people say are absolutely worthless. If you watched kids playing on a play ground and saw a couple of obvious bullies saying things like that to a girl on a playground and you saw her tear up and get crushed by it, you'd most likely tell her that those kids don't mean anything that their opinion is worthless. When you see some kids be the way they are, you can sometimes roll your eyes at what they say because you see the kind of kid they are. At least for me it's easier to see what garbage a kid says and be like there is no weight to what they say at all because I see how stupid they talk and they have no integrity about them then it sometimes helps to see how these kinds of kids grow up and still say the stupid junk to adults. What they say doesn't amount to a hill of beans, it's the same playground bullies who became adults but never grew up.
when i came in people in social situation they look at me .and i focus on myself .and i think that i have some thing wrong and anxiety is started.how i get rid of this .plz help me
I would suggest exploring cognitive distortions and (if appropriate when you feel ready) try gently exposing yourself to more situations where you will be looked at
Cheers Ed thanks for this helpful video. Are you ok ?
Very helpful video, thank you!
Thanks!
How do you go about dealing with maladaptive thinking patterns and toxic shame?
Good information. Video is worth sharing. Keep up the good work.👍👍
I got social anxiety last year and I’m in 11th grade and I had to drop out of school because it was so bad, do u think it is something teens go through and I will get over it?
I got social anxiety in class 9th and my parents recommended me to drop the school for some years but i denied them by saying if nobel prize winner professor jhon nash who had schizophrenia if he could study well after having schizophrenia so the social anxiety is very small thing and if Stephen Hawkings achieved heavy success only using his brain because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis so social anxiety is very small thing.... so i just only want to say you never give up
@@mr.hacker9312 That's a great way to look at it. Just take it day by day don't worry about how many years until you graduate or stuff like that. I'm a sophomore in hs and have had social anxiety for a little over a year now. It can get very depressing but you just got to keep going and enjoy what you can. Don't let social anxiety affect something as big as and important as your education. Also if you or the guy who commented this would like to maybe text over instagram or something that'd be great. I sort of need someone to talk to that can really relate.
Yes, i also got social anxiety in 11 class, now i am in last year of engineering and yes you can overcome this just push yourself little bit to overcome your fear and it will all be gone and you be like a normal person
From my understanding it's not just something you "grow out of" or that gets better on it's own. In fact, it tends to get more serious the longer you leave it. If you've had to drop out of high school because of it, I'd say it's already pretty serious. Please try and speak to a mental health professional if you can. It was the most important thing I did
Hey how are you doing now? I totally understand how you feel. I wish all us people who deal with social anxiety would be able to identify each other in public places and kinda look out for each other and be a friend to each other in each situation. Because we understand each other, we could kinda let our guard down and sometimes people won't judge you as much if they know you have bad social anxiety and if they deal with it to. Hope you're doing well. Schools can be so heartless.
Your videos are great! Your channel deserves way more attention
Greetings from germany
Subscribed!
Thanks for the message and the support :) SAD is a massive problem, so hope the channel can shine a light on it and let more people know they are not alone and that there is a way out
It is a massive problem, it pretty much controls my life and makes me unhappy
Your videos give me Motivation !
Keep up the good work mate
@@KiDCuDii97 thanks a lot, I'm glad I can help in some way. You're also welcome to jump on the phone for a chat if you want any advice or help. You can email me to arrange if you want: ed@crushsocialanxiety.org
thank u so much for this video
I think most, if not all, can trace back experiences that determine their sense of self-esteem and current habits that are raising or lowering it. Habits for sure - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy habit can certainly help indeed - challenging yourself to further expose to anxiety provoking situations but in new ways if the current long-term exposures are not working. There can be some genetic factor involved with predispositions that affect self-esteem but experiences are certainly more powerful.
Johan Abrams
I think there probably are some biological predispositions. Ones genetic make up is pretty much that. I also believe strongly in CBT. I guess everyone has their own battles to fight in life.
you need more likes
Hello is there a way to reach you via email regarding questions?
What do you think of mindfulness, particularly when focussed in the body, when interacting socially? It feels like I am tapping into a new dimension when I do this because I am able to see the narratives for what they are - conditioning, not our true nature. Would love to see a video on that.
Please check out the video on meditation. I'll try to make another with more in-depth analysis. Being "embodied" and focusing on what's happening internally (interoception) can be extremely useful
I don’t know if I have social anxiety. I’m confused about it because I don’t know the difference between shy and social anxiety. I have trouble making friends, and the few friends I have a hard time connecting with them. I also have low self esteem, low self confidence, and low self worth. I honestly just need advice? I need help understanding why it’s hard for me to make friends and to talk to people in general.
Wish I could help but I'm in the same shit
@@BlazeHazey I think for me personally it’s because I’m insecurities. I’m shy but once I’m comfortable around someone I’m no longer shy. So, I think for me I need to understand the difference between a good friend and someone whose just around to use me.
@@maryclaireyabut9010 I am struggling with the same problem too.
I have realised that it all stems from low self esteem and confidence, which I am having a tough time building up. Everytime i may be successful building a bit of confidence, there is definitely a situation which puts me down emotionally . And this pattern just keeps continuing
This is completely true. And if anyone is Muslim here you'll see this makes sense. He says "your ability to cope with life's challenges" rooting with how strong our Iman is. The more you build your relationship with Allah, the more your ability to cope with life's challenges increase therefore increasing self esteem. This slowly cures your social anxiety. I've seen this happen in front of me. Islam indeed does have the answer to every disease, Subhanallah.
I am and I suffer from low self esteem and anxiety
@Madiha 56 pray and ask Allah to guide you, you have to believe in Allah's power to help by helping and searching for solutions
"I'm coming to you from my villa in Bali..." proceeds with a montage of him living a chill, well-to-do life: Dude, that's completely unnecessary.
It's to establish the chill vibe
whats wrong in that tho?
Your right man.. not necessary, to braggy.
I just fucking hate myself. I feel like a waste of space on this planet like I can’t get good at anything and I feel like everyone’s better than me. Every time I’m out in public, I’m always so self conscious and anxious about myself, I feel like I’m the most ugliest person ever and everyone can see it and are just judging the fuck out of me. I’m 15 turning 16 in a month and it’s not too long before I start college. But I don’t think I can do it, I can’t handle meeting new people and actually talking to them so I’m thinking of ways to kill myself right before college starts. I’m not that smart, I’m not that good-looking, I’m not that talented, I’m just a fucking mess tbh and I don’t want to show everyone my weaknesses. Sorry if this makes no sense like I said I’m not that smart.
I really recommend speaking to a counsellor or therapist. You're young enough to deal with these issues early on. If you leave them unaddressed, there's a good chance they'll get a lot worse. Please speak to someone and let me know how you get on (crushsocialanxiety@gmail.com). Sending you positive vibes
Me identifico demasiado contigo, me gustaría poder ser tu amiga por qué haci nos entenderíamos demasiado y tendríamos una increíble amistad. Tengo 16 y tengo baja autoestima, también me considero cero inteligente, me siento muy sola. Me gustaría que me pasarás tu Instagram para poder hablar :)
I'm not sure about this advice. For example, doing things I never thought I could do. I never thought I could become a billionaire for example. If I attempt to do it and I fail again it is like even worse. Even for smaller tasks like asking for help at reception, going back when embarrassed or ashamed at lack of competency in an area, or overwhelming anxiety to the point of preferring to go home than go back to the swimming pool session I paid for. It's like, I get going back and doing things I failed at is good, but what if I am overwhelmed and can't do them and fail more and worse the next time.
It's all learned Nervous System Dyregulation/Trauma Patterns rooted in the Unconscious mind. I'm currently doing a specific modality of Hypnotherapy to process out my social anhedonia and expression stifling which has been inhibiting my overall self-esteem and mental health.
What sell's you, is your suffering with this demon.
Why does he have a reddish incision on his forehead?🤔
Wasn't really a good bogey tbh.. no actual tools really.. just signpost to the book and a bit of vagueness
"Bogey" = "Book"?
@@TheSocialAnxietyCoach video.. I think it's supposed to say.. I don't remember your video now. But I guess what I was saying is more actual useful content and but just promo.. hate when videos do that.. No point in them