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Self Esteem - Understanding & Fixing Low Self-Esteem

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 พ.ค. 2014
  • Self Esteem - The inner workings of self esteem, the root causes of low self-esteem, and how you can improve your esteem today.
    The Ultimate Life Purpose Course - Create Your Dream Career:
    www.actualized.org/life-purpos...
    Leo's Top 140 Self Help Books
    www.actualized.org/books
    Full Video Transcript Here:
    www.actualized.org/articles/se...
    Video Summary:
    Self-esteem is pivotal to determining success in life and relationships. Those suffering from low self-esteem tend to struggle more to find success and happiness in their endeavors. They may see themselves as victims, and are more often victimized, emotionally and / or physically. They may abuse themselves via self-destructive behavior or negative addictions. They often suffer from dysfunctional relationships. Low self-esteem can be displayed by feeling unable to control or correct circumstances in one's own life. Another common symptom is not valuing oneself, feeling unworthy or unlovable.
    What are the elements of self-esteem? How are those elements related to the overlapping concepts of self-efficacy and self-respect? What causes low self-esteem and how does one's self-image contribute to it?
    For those who suffer from low self-esteem, improving it is crucial to feeling empowered in virtually any aspect of their lives. The first step is typically to identify what triggered these internalized feelings, then proceed to awareness and understanding. Stomping out the irrational, limiting beliefs makes way for more logical ones. Low self-esteem need not be permanent. Correcting it can be an arduous process, but well worth the effort.

ความคิดเห็น • 2.1K

  • @wilsonlin9577
    @wilsonlin9577 3 ปีที่แล้ว +253

    Self esteem is something I struggled ever since I was a kid. It’s hard for me to accept myself when I think others expectations are high and I will never reach them. After reading so many power comments, I’ve realized that the one who really need to accept myself after all is myself. I will try to start loving myself and caring myself from now on. Wish me luck guys.

  • @tx942cg
    @tx942cg 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1763

    When he said "You deserve to be happy, you deserve to have everything you want" I immediately started crying. No one has ever told me that...ever. I was neglected as a kid and rarely received any kind of positive messages. No wonder my self esteem is shot
    Edit: 3 years later. Thank you all for the likes. I've never had a post get so much of a response. Neato!
    For those asking, I still fight my battles, every single day. But I am so much farther along nowadays. Repetition has been key. It's hard to fight those negative thoughts inside, but keep on pushing, don't give up, and they will be replaced with something better. I'm in a better place now, and life is beginning to reflect that. Y'all, don't stop fighting for yourselves. It's hard, but worth it.
    And to the few haters who've posted, y'all need to check yourself in the mirror. Projecting says alot about a person. Water meets its own level. Feel free to kick dust cause your BS ain't welcome here.

    • @nancyw8341
      @nancyw8341 6 ปีที่แล้ว +115

      I started crying when I read your post. I'm sorry you had a fucked up childhood.

    • @radicaldonkey9745
      @radicaldonkey9745 6 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      I started crying as well... omfg

    • @ABCDEFGHIJKLMOPQRSTUVWXYZ12345
      @ABCDEFGHIJKLMOPQRSTUVWXYZ12345 6 ปีที่แล้ว +74

      Bro it takes time and hard work but im here 2 tell you that if you work on yourself, you will fix this and become stronger than the people who never had this peoblem in the first place! I had a terrible self esteem, I mean I was fucking terrible, now, now I create the life I want!

    • @pinkgal206
      @pinkgal206 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      SurplusSoria awwww

    • @thestarstarla
      @thestarstarla 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      SurplusSoria I’m sorry to hear about that ☹️

  • @markgoodlife7167
    @markgoodlife7167 3 ปีที่แล้ว +174

    *The 6 pillars of self-esteem*
    (like it's explained in the video, starting at 15:08)
    *1) The practice of living consciously*
    - Are you aware, are you mindful of the behaviour that you have?
    No = low self-esteem
    Yes = high self-esteem
    *2) The practice of self acceptance*
    - Do you accept yourself as you are? Or do you always criticize and judge yourself that you have to be better, smarter or prettier?
    - Or can you just accept yourself and be who you are?
    - That greatly increases your self-esteem!
    *3) The practice of self responsibility?*
    - Do you actually take responsibility for your life? Not just the good parts, but the bad parts, too! The stuff that you think is hurting you the most. The place that makes you feel like a victim. Are you willing to take responsibility for it? Because if you are not, you are gonna stay like a victim and have low self-esteem.
    - Thats why self-esteem is so critical and important.
    *4) The practice of assertiveness*
    - How assertive are you? Especially around people! How assertive are you with your own values, your own priciples, your own philosophy, your own goals? Do you feel like this is something important? Something worth fighting for? Even in face of resistance of others?
    - It‘s really important to build up you assertiveness. That will also build your confidence. And that is gonna build up your self-esteem.
    *5) The practice of living purposefully*
    - So, do you have a purpose in life? Do you have something that your life is about? Somethng that is important? Something that is greater than your life?
    - To Leo this is one oft he most important ideas of personal development. He has made vieos about it and suggests to check those.
    - A purpose will make you happy, confident, peaceful and successful in your life.
    *6) Personal Integrity*
    - Do you live up to your own expectations of yourself? Or are you always faltering, always being lazy? Are you failing to do the things you need to execute? Are you keeping your own promises to yourself?! Are you living in line with your own highest values?
    - If you are not you selfesteem will be shocked and if you are your selfesteem will go tot he roof!
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Greetings from Germany, my friends. Keep strong!
    Here are some impactful quotes as food for thoughts. But first I would recommend anyone to check out the *stoic philosophy*, it really can help you out to get a more chilled mind.
    *"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength." - Markus Aurelius*
    *"Nature doesnt hurry, yet everything gets accomplished." - Lao Tzu*
    *"To improve is to change, to perfect is to change often" - Winston Churchill*
    *"You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it" - Albert Einstein*
    Much love and luck to anyone :)

  • @warren218
    @warren218 7 ปีที่แล้ว +787

    It's taken me many years to realise that every poor decision I've made in the last 10-15 years is down to bad self esteem

    • @juanmjx
      @juanmjx 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Warren Spencer I feel ya

    • @happystrength984
      @happystrength984 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      exactly

    • @ultrawaves1058
      @ultrawaves1058 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Yes. But tell yourself that every poor decision you've made in the past years are some great experiences for the futur. That means you won't do them again, you will have more knowledge on what to do and not do and maybe you will be able to tell other people in your entourage WHY something is a good (or bad) idea. There you go, hope it helped a little bit. :)

    • @diasimple
      @diasimple 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      omg same! I've been blaming other people, God, everyone, but I never thought the problem was me, my perception of myself! I'm thankful I know now🍃

    • @tiffanysar-lecluze5679
      @tiffanysar-lecluze5679 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same

  • @ActualizedOrg
    @ActualizedOrg  10 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    If you liked this video, I highly recommend watching my related videos:
    1) How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert
    2) Why Am I Depressed? - The Truth Behind Depression and How To Break Free
    3) Personal Development Plan - The Essentials Of Getting Results
    4) How To Love Yourself - How To Like Who You Are Right Now
    5) How To Be Yourself - Become Your Authentic Self Right Now

    • @Valkonnen
      @Valkonnen 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      If I had perfect teeth like you do, I would NOT be hiding and like I am. You take for granted that you have something that some will never have, and not having the ability to smile changes every experience in your life. When I see someone like you who has money, probably a beautiful woman in your life, and perfect teeth, who is telling us how to have better self esteem? It's like a cruel joke that you can NEVER truly get or even understand. The amount of jealousy that I feel is not healthy at all.

    • @lespantalonsfancie2434
      @lespantalonsfancie2434 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Valkonnen obviously your teeth, and the effect that this prevents you from smiling and finding joy in life, is a major pain point for you, however by minimizing the content of the video just because the presenter has better teeth than you is completing missing the point of his message. EVERYONE ON THE PLANET has one or more pain points they are contending with. Some are physical and outwardly obvious, whilst others are psychological scars that no one might ever be aware of. Perhaps Leo might envy your hair, on account of him not having any, but the real point of this talk is about achieving INNER peace with yourself, irrespective of how your physical body presents to the world. If you can attain that, your physical shortcomings will no longer feel so overwhelmingly significant in determining your happiness and sense of fulfillment. I wish you luck.

  • @ToddThomas
    @ToddThomas 7 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    An over inflated self esteem leads to narcissism. In my years of teaching and studies I've found with my clients that self-acceptance is more powerful and valuable than self-esteem. Though having both is good. Nice work!

  • @jenniezeeman
    @jenniezeeman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +759

    "The words contained in The Manifesting Manual are the most powerful and profound ones you will ever read manifestation.guide The understanding of the human psyche is beautifully captured throughout, enabling one to fully explore and understand one's own personal mindset.

    • @youngwynn333
      @youngwynn333 ปีที่แล้ว

      So did the “guide” work for you? I’m asking for a friend

    • @ginkgobiloba5462
      @ginkgobiloba5462 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How much have you paid for the likes?

  • @pauldarlington5589
    @pauldarlington5589 5 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    What helped me the most was when I discovered that I must stop caring what others think of me and start deeply caring what I think of myself.
    That's when I met a wonderful, caring person who has become my best friend. Me.
    I now direct all of the energy I used to waste trying to please others, who inevitably ended up despising me, toward myself.
    This was the key to the prison I had been in for fifty years.
    The other thing I hope others may understand from this is that it is never too late to change and break free.

    • @jacklannom5155
      @jacklannom5155 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Do you believe in late late bloomers? Lol

    • @Christian-mn8dh
      @Christian-mn8dh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jack Lannom how to do this?

  • @sniperelite360
    @sniperelite360 9 ปีที่แล้ว +716

    I have horribly low self esteem with crippling shyness plus depressive mood swings. I am trying to overcome it but I always feel that I am not worth anything to anyone, despite my family telling me otherwise.

    • @user-qi1us9gr9t
      @user-qi1us9gr9t 7 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Lord Sir Crumpet i feel you honey

    • @mcpartridgeboy
      @mcpartridgeboy 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      violet is Dun, you really dont, for you low self esteem isnt a problem you will still get love sex kindness support, you will still have a family and marry, for women it just isnt an issue for a man it will tear his life to shreds ! if your a man with low self esteem and shy you are fucked beyond belif not just because of those things but because you will NEVER get a woman, you will never have any support from women, you will never have any love, you will never have a girlfriend family or wife, these things will make the self hate even worse making it less likely you will get a woman, making the self hate worse making it less likely you will get a woman, making the self hate worse , until eventually you will just have to live every second not only with all this with no support but also the loanliness will make everything 100000000000000000000000 times worse, you just dont understand your life is piss easy you have everything, if you were born male you would understand the impact low self esteem has, you really cant understand just how hard life is !, luckily for you , you never will ! so please dont pretend you understand you dont ! living with this as a man is a hell you just will never understand , your fine, just dont come here were your not wanted please.

    • @user-qi1us9gr9t
      @user-qi1us9gr9t 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      mcpartridgeboy why not? I know lots of girls who like shy guys stop being like this
      And yes im very lonely, idgaf about sex i only want a friend who understands me, a cat even

    • @user-qi1us9gr9t
      @user-qi1us9gr9t 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      mcpartridgeboy everyone here is welcome
      And im sure the channel owner agrees :))))))

    • @JoeySkate24
      @JoeySkate24 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well. What would you need to feel validated and worthy enough and why (the way is even more important). Then after you make the list question it. See if you really do want these things and why avain. Take note from all the positives on your body mind soul personality spirit and all the bad ones. Find the core limiting beliefs and question them as well. The Truth alone that you will discover will set you free . Hope this helped

  • @Octavus5
    @Octavus5 9 ปีที่แล้ว +501

    The modern conception of "self-esteem" is ultimately dooming. Despite Branden's highfaluting rhetoric, self-esteem essentially comes down to "comparison" between self and others: If I am equal or superior on some metric, then I feel worthy; If I am inferior based on some measure, then I am not worthy. In the end, the system is flawed and self-destructing.
    The problem of self-esteem began when "individualism" became paramount in the Western world. In the wake of the asserted "self", there logically arose the need to "justify" the "value" of the "individual". And voila, the psychology of "self-esteem" was born.
    In contrast, there are no big self-esteem issue in tight-knit communities or traditional societies where self and community are blurred. In communities like these, one is "part" of society, not "separate" from society.
    If one lived on a remote island alone, "self-esteem" would never come up. One simply "lives" day by day.
    But self-esteem becomes a potential problem in societies composed of _separated_ (or alienated) individuals because whatever perceives itself as "distinct" must justify and rationalize its distinctiveness and "reason for being".

    • @chuck4096
      @chuck4096 9 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Octavus5 Nailed it

    • @gusgrizzel8397
      @gusgrizzel8397 9 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Octavus5 I agree. I have thought of that too, the desert island thing, where you'd simply be focused on surviving. Only modern man worries constantly about being happy. People think if you don't smile, you're not happy. What is the state of being constantly happy? Seems unreal, since life is such a struggle.

    • @Octavus5
      @Octavus5 9 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Gus Grizzel _"Only modern man worries constantly about being happy."_
      Being happy (in the mind) and healthy (in the body) are natural objectives, but self-esteem is different from these, I believe.
      Self-esteem can be compared to "nationalism". Is it necessary that citizens are jingoistic or nationalistic? Not really. These tend to be rather "primitive" sentiments that often arise when sovereignty or independence are threatened. Or there is an unhealthy _complex_ whereby comparisons are made based on some arbitrary metric.
      Truly healthy nations simply go about their affairs as sovereign states without much ado. The question of "who is better" or their "reason for being" never arises. They are independent nation-states and exist as such and no justifications for their being are ever necessary.

    • @gusgrizzel8397
      @gusgrizzel8397 9 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Octavus5 If you live in a nation where it matters if you contribute or can affect keeping a quality standard of living, you could say that nationalism can matter.
      It's subjective because what matters to one people may not be of concern to another, past the normal basic requirements to survive.
      The obsession with being happy is just silly. If you work a job, trying to be "happy" about it will usually fail. It's the wrong mindset about it. You're an animal in the world trying to survive. If you spend your time drinking beer, watching TV, etc., there is little satisfaction in that. If you spend your time learning about the world, learning to play music, taking care of your body, and helping your family, there is more satisfaction in that, and usually "happiness". Happiness is not some fairy dust cloud that descends on people. It's usually the result of some satisfactory interaction with people or things.

    • @Octavus5
      @Octavus5 9 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Gus Grizzel _"If you live in a nation where it matters if you contribute or can affect keeping a quality standard of living, you could say that nationalism can matter."_
      Nationalism falls victim to the same trap as self-esteem. It's useful on a "primal" level (just as are other emotions like anger, fear, envy, etc), but not necessary and ideally should be avoided.
      _"The obsession with being happy is just silly."_
      The irony may be that if you are "obsessed" with "your" happiness, it will probably be elusive to the extent your frame of reference is narcissistic. But when you begin to look beyond yourself and see yourself as part of the larger universe and find meaning/purpose in the greater scheme, the chances are that you'll be a happier individual.

  • @queenofthebutterflies5212
    @queenofthebutterflies5212 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    WOW, the unconscious part of this was a BIG wake up call for me.
    My narcissistic parents did their work on me there !!! Lol! Hence, I'm here. It makes me want to paint a picture for my son and write the words, '' YOU ARE MAZING JUST FOR BEING YOU''. Thankyou so much for such a wonderful video.

  • @minecraftgamer1169
    @minecraftgamer1169 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I was abused physically, emotionally, and sexually as a child. It's because of this abuse that my self esteem is very low. I think I don't deserve anything nice. And I'm not good enough either. I'm depressed all the time. I'm working on everything. I hope to be a happy person someday. 😢

    • @locoa648
      @locoa648 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Minecraft Player I was abused emotionally and sexually and always settling for less then I deserve and having family judge my body caused for me to have a low self-esteem
      from I blame myself I want to tell you will get through your struggles I know it’s hard because I still struggle you are enough and one day you will see that 😢

    • @youraveragefloridaboy519
      @youraveragefloridaboy519 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Guys i am so so sorry for all of you i wish these crimes never happened to you you didnt deserve that

    • @locoa648
      @locoa648 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      diamond pickaxe thank you I wish we all never had a bad past that caused us to have problems such as depression low self-esteem and to feel unworthy and to feel like shit about ourselves

    • @youraveragefloridaboy519
      @youraveragefloridaboy519 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@locoa648 anytime my friend we will all heal over time 👍

    • @locoa648
      @locoa648 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      diamond pickaxe we will all heal defiantly it just take time I hope what ever struggle you are going through you are getting support I’m always here even though this is just TH-cam

  • @Aurjelling
    @Aurjelling 6 ปีที่แล้ว +131

    By digging deep into myself with meditation, i've come to understand some things when it comes to low self esteem:
    What if I told you that low self esteem and confidence were defence-mechanisms that you used unconciously in order to survive and protect yourself from potential harm in the future? Let me explain.
    Low self esteem is deep rooted into a belief. It doesn't matter what that belief is, just understand that it is a belief and it is part of your belief-system. Low self esteem may come from the fact that you as a child was overprotected by one or both of your parents and maybe by other family members. Maybe you were born really small and grew up to become a small child in school who also was not the sharpest knife in the drawers when it came to academics or social interaction with the other kids. The point I am trying to make is, that the people who tried to protect you all the time, gave you a sense of being fragile, weak and not able to handle the demands of the world. Over time you begin to realise that you are fragile. Physically you are not very strong, and the other children in school seems to get along fine and do okay with school-work, but not you. And they keep hinting this at you or by directly telling you this.
    Knowing all of this, you begin to develop a sense of self worth and adequacy. Low self esteem and confidence are just the symptoms of your low feelings of self worth and adequacy. The bottom line is, you were not born with the strong genes that your parents and familly favor, so they start overprotecting you, because they know that you are not able to survive very well on your own. Over time you begin to understand this and then as you mature with age, you start to protect yourself aswell. Now you see the potential danger in trying anything new and you become very cautious. This tendency keeps on going all the way up to adulthood. Nature and it's natural selection, who chooses who get's to live and who get's to die can indeed be very cruel.
    Maybe you are a guy or girl reading this, in your early 20s. Realise that you have survived the world this long. You have come this far, and along the way you have matured and maybe grown away from insecurities. You have learnt many things along the way and perhaps developed certain skills. Now it is time to realise that this defence-mechanism that you have kept with you for all these years no longer is helpful to you. It is time to throw it away, destroying them. When I say destroy, I mean, get into the art of meditation and witness your own thought-processes so that they can disappear over time. You will come to understand more of this by listening to OSHO Rajneesh or Sadhguru.

    • @SaraSara-rn8pc
      @SaraSara-rn8pc 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much

    • @bradleybrannings3127
      @bradleybrannings3127 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Bro, everything you've mentioned is literally me. I have low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Developed mental illnesses also like stress disorder, OCD, social anxiety and depression.

    • @jacklannom5155
      @jacklannom5155 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@bradleybrannings3127 so that's what I'm feeling.

    • @JohnDoe-kv1uv
      @JohnDoe-kv1uv 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Aurjelling I love u

    • @joshrivera473
      @joshrivera473 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Amazing, well said. I will definitely check out your listening recommendations

  • @bensmyth450
    @bensmyth450 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    What makes no sense to me is that I had a pretty great childhood. My family loved me and raised me right. I was (am) very introverted but back then people didn’t outright scare me. I had no traumatic experiences. And still, between the ages of 13 and 16, I somehow grew to feel like the most inferior thing on the planet. The worst things that ever happened to me were those friendly jabs that are commonplace in high school; yet they felt like assaults on my worth and existence. Perhaps I’m hypersensitive, not wired right for human interaction. But whatever it is, it took away my entire adolescence, and I’m still struggling with it today. It is a terribly inexplicable burden, being so naturally afraid of the very thing that makes us human.

    • @quimmmus
      @quimmmus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sometimes you can track down where it comes from, but sometimes you can’t. Most traumatic events are everyday events that come from the wrong person in the wrong moment and we couldn’t process that emotionally because we did not know how to. Don’t worry too much on the source, and do your everyday work, step by step, you will get clarity and feel better!

    • @TheFate23
      @TheFate23 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      You probably had a bad childhood but not ready to realize or accept it. It takes time.

    • @potatojamir5918
      @potatojamir5918 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Trauma can be of many sorts. If you still see this take this into perspective. As a child your classroom and parents are your world and being disapproved of such as parents teaching kids not to be too loud in public place can be taken as your parents not loving you(your view on world as a child, and that is a trauma, which with adult pov can be silly)and not loving you means it threatens your survival and that aspect of you being loud and expressive is disowned.
      My English is not excellent but tried my best.

  • @rehemakerubo
    @rehemakerubo 8 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    we could watch all motivational videos , we can read all books but it wont change a thing if you are not willing to change your own thoughts , i have been down for the last six months , there is a time i felt like i am all alone , worthless n all that is invisible n useless, was contemplation suicide , and just when i was about to jump off the rooftop, i realized that , yea i may die, some will cry , some will not, the ones who hurt you might not care, or even if they felt guilty , its not as such as they will feel seeing u all great n blossomed. life is tough , but its also easy , it's all in our minds, everything , financially, spiritually n even physically. its your believe .n u got to be happy if u choose to.you already have all that it takes to be happy, u just have to be willing to know how to reach it.

    • @davedowden
      @davedowden 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rehema Kerubo YOU NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥️

    • @CursedWheelieBin
      @CursedWheelieBin 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We are willing. That's how we came across the video 🤨. We're searching for ways to reprogram how we view ourselves.

  • @davits
    @davits 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Hi Leo, (from Armenia)
    \Wanted to share my own experience about fixing Low Self-Esteem. For last 2-3 weeks, since I watched this video, I've worked on my personal development a lot, not according to your guidance in this video but in general, and here is what I find. I realized my own potential and increased my belief in my self, I've amazingly became happier and change my habits. Even my friends and family members noticed it in my behavior. Fascinating thing is that when I looked again at 6 pillars of Self Esteem and realized that, omg actually I've worked on these, and now seeing that It's really the part of something more. What inspires me beside all great teachers like you is the vision for the future and the abundance that is coming. My life transformed since I start working on my self. I am thankful to you for teaching this juicy and practical material that affects and changes lives to better.

  • @notbrendon
    @notbrendon 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I appreciate your videos incredibly. For most of my life, as crazy as it sounds, I always imagined a life coach being someone whose job it is to yell at you and tell you not to look back at your past at all and put all of the blame on you. It is a relief to hear you say that investigating one's own childhood is not discouraged as something that only "victims" do. I have gone more than 30 years believing that, among the many things that I don't deserve, I do not deserve to investigate things that may not have been my fault. Thank you!

  • @ruhelmiah203
    @ruhelmiah203 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    When you kept listing "maybe you feel like this" and I kept saying "yes" and then I got a bit teary eyed because you're speaking facts. My self esteem is crippled atm and I'm trying to fix it.

    • @oklartse
      @oklartse ปีที่แล้ว

      How is it going for you?

    • @ruhelmiah203
      @ruhelmiah203 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@oklartse thanks for the comment, much appreciated. I'm hanging in there. I'm trying to work on myself, socialise with people online. Right now, my eating/sleeping habits aren't great, work is horrible. I'm just doing what I can to hang in there, at least until the new year. I hope you are doing okay

    • @harleen9695
      @harleen9695 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ruhelmiah203update?

  • @sahilvishwakarma6509
    @sahilvishwakarma6509 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I think i have extremely low self esteem. I have extremely low self confindence and i struggle to speak with people because of fear of not getting heard by them. I also feel I have no importance. That anyone can leave me without thinking twice and i deserve to be miserable. I hope I can reshape my life because this life has become crippling to me.

  • @DrunkOfficeTea
    @DrunkOfficeTea 8 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    My childhood was kind of fucked up. I've always had low self esteem. Lately though it seems really low! Like I don't feel I deserve anything. I feel so anxious and depressed. I wish I could fix this shit. I'm 27 now though :/

    • @rmn20001
      @rmn20001 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      have you tried mindfulness meditation

    • @meriemmt221
      @meriemmt221 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      will it work noname ???!

    • @i5-4670k
      @i5-4670k 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Remove toxic people from your life, even if family, and make sure your home environment is as pleasant as possible. Learn to love yourself. Sounds bland, but that's what i'm trying.

    • @maryoom3473
      @maryoom3473 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      It is hard to say that you are gonna be judged and hated it is all you want to know that it is not about you it is about how people see their self don't feel inferior you deserve love 😘

    • @lunvontawizotal4308
      @lunvontawizotal4308 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      same here, and we both are of the same age...

  • @bude8234
    @bude8234 8 ปีที่แล้ว +624

    A lot of my self esteem issues stem from a fear of rejection. That is, I don't handle criticism and rejection well, and this makes me reluctant to interact with people for fear of being put down. Any advice?

    • @user-sf6nu4vp4q
      @user-sf6nu4vp4q 7 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I have the same problem :'(

    • @TheSinisterPress
      @TheSinisterPress 7 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      "No person or group has the power to determine how I think about myself and my feeling of self."
      If you can deeply believe this you will be free from the fear of rejection.

    • @bude8234
      @bude8234 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      TheSinisterPress Thanks! Excellent advice!

    • @bude8234
      @bude8234 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ***** Yeah, the desensitization approach. That is recommended by many experts, and I have tried it with some success. Thanks.

    • @bude8234
      @bude8234 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ***** If you look at my post, I did not specifically mention women:
      "and this makes me reluctant to interact with people "

  • @Dessaria
    @Dessaria 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This is everything I’ve been looking for, just never thought to type in the you tube search bar for help. Thank you. I’m a 1 and was never shown self esteem nor raised with praise. I’ve been a doormat and have exhausted myself giving to everyone and not looking out for me.

  • @alinabishop8561
    @alinabishop8561 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I literally avoid mirrors and pictures because I have no self esteem, this is an amazing and very helpful video, tears literally ran down my face during this video.

  • @hasanmohammad6235
    @hasanmohammad6235 8 ปีที่แล้ว +301

    its extremely amazing how you talk without stopping even once for hours

    • @happystrength984
      @happystrength984 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I know right??

    • @jaimegutierrez9940
      @jaimegutierrez9940 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      asswipe u are special,is that why u run ur mouth? grow up cape crusader. hey isnt batman gay>

    • @Elemxnt45
      @Elemxnt45 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      jaime gutierrez no u

    • @maxbraun3477
      @maxbraun3477 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@happystrength984 8Abs Och vj8cjj88cjhjj

    • @travisskeans2511
      @travisskeans2511 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      20 mins

  • @jacktharipskawitz
    @jacktharipskawitz 8 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I feel like I should thank you. You've helped me to realize that the belief I've had my whole adult life, the belief that I cannot be happy without intimately sharing my life with somebody is not a normal or healthy way to live and that it's something that needs to be addressed.

    • @Haise-san
      @Haise-san 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Off course it needs to be addressed, and I hope you are doing better nowadays.

  • @natetaylor9773
    @natetaylor9773 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I think one thing this misses is that self esteem really can fluctuate, at times in my life ive been on both sides of the "scale". Its the falling back into low self esteem im trying to prevent

  • @nattycampos
    @nattycampos 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Leo, you just got me out of depression. This is not the first time. Thank you so much for this amazing job you've been doing all those years.

  • @aminamuz9071
    @aminamuz9071 8 ปีที่แล้ว +166

    i have vry low self esteem its so sad i always feel i don't fit well in whateva places i go... i hate being with people and i enjoy my own compny cz i alwys feel dat ol pple r there just to point out my flaws

    • @happystrength984
      @happystrength984 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I feel you

    • @1965kid
      @1965kid 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      People will always let you down.
      This guy is just one of those people!

    • @hello-we2op
      @hello-we2op 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      EXACTLY

    • @moragev2606
      @moragev2606 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Had the same feeling of my whole life. I've never been truly happy.

    • @CursedWheelieBin
      @CursedWheelieBin 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I feel the same way. It's either face feelings of shame/rejection, or be alone and face feelings of depression

  • @mysticbluelight5872
    @mysticbluelight5872 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I had good self esteem until my partner of 22 years betrayed me. I sunk. So deep. Not only do I have the lowest self esteem but I physically shake too.
    I was riding on a confidence high all this time. But really I wasn’t good enough For him.
    I want help. I want to go back to the person I was.

    • @LadyS723
      @LadyS723 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Pray and give it to God, it's not that you weren't good enough for him; look at the situation from a positive prospective maybe you were to good for him. Y'all were not in alignment let him Go, and what's for you will come use this time alone to process, and release your pain focus working on you, and i guarantee you everything you ever wanted will come in due time... "Life experiences" causes us to grow becoming a better version of ourselves embrace who you have become sometimes Change is good as time passes you'll look back, and recognize why you had those experiences.... "Growth" Good Luck!

    • @mysticbluelight5872
      @mysticbluelight5872 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      LADY. S
      Thank you kind words and guidance is so appreciated 🙏❤️

    • @GwunChin
      @GwunChin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sending you love. Perhaps -he- wasn't good enough for you and this is the universe's way of letting you know that the change was necessary. Stay strong. This is an opportunity to re-discover who you are.

    • @craigehardel1308
      @craigehardel1308 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Totally get it. Motivation isn't quite as what most people make it to be and people aren't either too. This free cheatsheet really helped me out it might help you out too craigehardel.com/.

    • @CursedWheelieBin
      @CursedWheelieBin 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The opinion that you "weren't good enough for him" is just that - an opinion that you've formed. It's not a fact. Whenever you catch yourself looking for ways to confirm that opinion, learn to recognise that and call it out. That's how you interrupt that unhelpful pattern of thought.
      Eg. You see a FB pic of him and some new girl, right? That triggers feelings of shame, rejection, inadequacy etc. In those moments, learn to recognise this is your mind trying to shield you from further emotional trauma by taking you out of the race completely. Someone else's actions have nothing to do with your self worth or your sexual marketplace value (horrible term, I know lol) 🙄
      Thanks for sharing

  • @maujo2009
    @maujo2009 8 ปีที่แล้ว +414

    I feel completely stuck.

    • @maujo2009
      @maujo2009 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ***** Nope, pretty much stuck yet.

    • @maujo2009
      @maujo2009 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      ***** I'm in a situation where I feel I have very little control over circumstances and a large possibility of losing something for what I've worked very hard.

    • @maujo2009
      @maujo2009 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      ***** The possibility of starting a career overseas, the possibility of settling down and fulfilling my personal and professional dreams, starting a family, etc; all those potentialities can go to the toilet and I can end up losing it all because it all depends on the decision of someone else whom I have absolutely no control over.

    • @maujo2009
      @maujo2009 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      ***** My current employer or potential future employer. The current one might decide to dispense of my services in the next 6 months and decide not to extend the contract and not to sponsor me. My permanence overseas depends on a sponsorship. I would have to return to my country that I left about a decade ago, where I would have to start from zero all over again. I really want to settle outside, I think I have everything I need to, I speak the language, I have the education and credentials, but it's like my credentials, experience and expertise mean nothing. It all comes down to someone who would decide to take me in. Otherwise, I'm out. Really unfair, considering a lot of people immigrate by other means and are far less educated than myself. Nothing wrong with that, except the unfairness of the system.

    • @maujo2009
      @maujo2009 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      ***** I _am_ , but the issue remains. They might not even take me in if they find out they need to sponsor me. So not only I have to compete by the merits of my credentials with other candidates but compete against the fact that someone who does _not_ need sponsorship could obviously be more attractive to the employer than me.

  • @loombaron
    @loombaron 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I used to have a low self esteem and its a constant fight. What was useful to me was to begin to think simple and to remember that life is short and we wont be here forever.
    In my case it was all related to what others would think about me. I suffered from that for so many years till I started to learn that what really matters is my own life. I stopped being so polite and so well mannered because people that notice that on you inmediately take advantage.
    Try to
    prioritize your life and what you like. Its not a bad to be a little selfish, everybody is a bit selfish. You need to, because when you have low self esteem you end up being the servant of everybody else.

  • @BARAKABLESSING
    @BARAKABLESSING 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    My father wouldn't let me share my thoughts or contribute to any thing he talked about since I was 10 years. This kind of made me think I was useless and had nothing productive out of me.
    I wouldn't contribute to anything in the class/ even asking a question because I had this mind 'ohhh they'd say what the f** I was talking about'.
    Thank you for this video, It has given me new energy and I see boosting my low esteem.
    Thanks a million.

    • @josephlemus8307
      @josephlemus8307 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      BARAKA BLESSING same when i was a kid i wasnt always shy and introverted. But somewhere between middle school i started getting judged for the stupid things i did. So now i just shut the fuck up so people dont think there’s something mentally wrong with this guy. Its to the point where idk if im ok or i got autism or smtn

    • @donaldios
      @donaldios 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@josephlemus8307 Listen kid be yourself! its impossible to have everyone to like you or dislike you.

    • @CursedWheelieBin
      @CursedWheelieBin 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      No offence but your dad's a repressed knob with no emotional intelligence whatsoever. Your grandad was probably like that with him too, causing repressed rage and god only knows what other issues.
      Forgive him, and yourself. Impossible, maybe. That's the goal, at least

    • @CursedWheelieBin
      @CursedWheelieBin 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@donaldios Kid? Way to patronize the guy. Go drown a puppy you cruel arsehole

  • @ActualizedOrg
    @ActualizedOrg  9 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Find your life purpose, create your dream career.
    Check out my comprehensive video course.
    90+ exclusive videos, 20+ hours and 200GBs of content!
    www.actualized.org/life-purpose-course

    • @Valkyrie33ladiesclothing
      @Valkyrie33ladiesclothing 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      watching your video and alot of them, i have to appologize for sounding
      off at you, i was not in a good place that day, second i have alot of
      reaspect for you as you have a lot of amazing inteligant things to put
      forward and in that i can see why you do what you do, as its for people
      like you that others turn to for guidance and help, i like you now lol
      :-) your one of the good ones thank you xxx you help x sorry for the
      spelling, its makes most people laugh, i spell how it sounds called
      dyslexia x take care and have a nice day x

    • @ashabi1232
      @ashabi1232 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Aawwwwww

    • @brianli36
      @brianli36 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actualized.org hi

    • @gabrielaguilar9660
      @gabrielaguilar9660 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      What Меn RЕЕАLLY Want => twitter.com/ba81306da496a0e64/status/804693412402241537 Self Еsteem Undеrstаnding Fiхing Low Sеlf EЕЕЕstееm

    • @rockyparker1528
      @rockyparker1528 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Actualized.org

  • @jessicanewhall1849
    @jessicanewhall1849 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love how he talks about how not to be a victim, how to be in control of your life and how to deal with the problems that you face and your are the master of your own life He talks about self-respect, self-worth and you have value. I'm so inspired! Had the same feeling after reading How to Be a Badass by Sharon Law Tucker. I'm getting stronger every day!

  • @lucianbalan1234
    @lucianbalan1234 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Leo, you are GREAT!! Your commentaries helped me a lot on improving my view on life. You speak with such a huge naturality that makes me think this is how everybody should be...just let the person we have inside get out and live without that restriction we give ourselves because of the perjudices of society...thank you!!

  • @TheMrcrimez
    @TheMrcrimez 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I watched this video twice and after second take I had a journey into my childhood and realized where my low self esteem comes from and it was an amazing feeling that brought joy to my heart...thanks Leo your videos are really helping build my life. Awesome dude

  • @jowitawilk5001
    @jowitawilk5001 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    the clarity of your message... I feel in bliss when I'm listening to this. Thank uuuuu

  • @Morguepie
    @Morguepie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for this. I know I have crappy self esteem, (3/10 3/10 on the numeral scales used in video for the self assessment,) and this video helped by both reinforcing where I feel it’s coming from, and offering more insight and perspective. The 6 pillars of self esteem really hit home with how terrible I am at accepting myself, how much more assertive I need to be, how little purpose I feel I have, and how badly I live up to my own expectations. Some of these things I didn’t realize was having such an impact on my self esteem. I’m definitely going to look into more of these videos. I know where most of it comes from, I just don’t know how to take action. I might look into counseling/life coaching on the side, but I want to tackle as much as I can on my own first. I need to feel more in control of my life. I want to feel happy and empowered again

  • @organicchemistryjuice8106
    @organicchemistryjuice8106 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Since last week it's 1 and 1 on both. It's feels like something is tearing me deep down on a regular basis

  • @KyokiPon
    @KyokiPon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I know that at this point in my life it's a waste of time to place blame on others
    but I really blame my parents for my lack of self-esteem.
    Lack of affection and support... it feels awful to live a life where you often
    feel like you're no one important so please don't forget to tell your children
    how awesome they are every day and shower them with love ! It must truly
    make a difference.

    • @locoa648
      @locoa648 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rini it is so true I know how it feels to not feel loved to always be judge to never feel the affection from your parents you got this you will be ok one day and you will have someone who adores you and show you affection even it’s not your family as sad as it is this life is beautiful

  • @the2ndme566
    @the2ndme566 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Because of my way of thinking, I'm pushing away one of my true and closest friends. Just being around her made me so ugly and unwanted.

  • @albertdelgadillo5972
    @albertdelgadillo5972 9 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Wow this is amazing i caught myself crying for many reasons! Makes me realize how low my self esteem has been for so long! Thank u for an awesome video - susana

  • @emmanuelnduka1435
    @emmanuelnduka1435 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I feel poised after watching this clip. I grew up seeing myself suffering through low self-worth without having idea of the cause. Among all I have experienced, I like taken responsibility and achieving my goal(very very high self efficacy) but can be somewhat discouraged by challenges. Thank you. I am working through this issue and will be fixed

  • @entitycomputersoluti
    @entitycomputersoluti 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Loving how your videos teach how much eye contact to use when producing (quoting, outlines, slide checking & skipping). Watched about 50 of your videos Leo, they are enjoyable and useful!

  • @degamer5274
    @degamer5274 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    Your way of expressing these concepts always attracts me, and nothing, but nothing compares with it-- the tone, the depth of spirituality, I can't put it into words. Your Manifesting Manual is something I can read over and over and soak up. I am in process of making the routine a solid part of my life, and it has made a difference! I LOVE your 12 meditations too th-cam.com/users/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq I know I am a different person after 9 months with Super Manifestor, and in process of continued positive change! You deserve accolades every day of the year! Keep on with everything, and as we say in Spanish, ANIMO! Lots of love and every blessing to you both.

  • @myafelicity7085
    @myafelicity7085 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    In my opinion mindful-self compassion is a very important component in building and increasing genuine self esteem. People with low self esteem are very critical of themselves (rumination >>negative self talk>>behaviour >>low self esteem). Catching the thought and mindfully expressing self compassion towards the self can rewire the brain from the usual way of thinking. And that’s where real change can take place. Because then you can ask yourself: “how would someone that love himself/herself would treat themselves?”
    That’s what parenting or relate thing the inner child is. Mindful self compassion. Hopefully this makes sense. English is my third language but I think I was able to express myself well!

  • @Tosh331
    @Tosh331 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I forgot which videos I watched but you've helped me a lot and I've gone from really low self-esteem to pretty much confident most of the time. Thank you so much!

  • @AwakenTofu
    @AwakenTofu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have low esteem since I don’t like myself right now. I’m trying hard to be someone I want to be but when I fail it feels hurtful. It mainly has to do with regret. However, I’m just impatient. I’m just glad I’m alive right now. I’m probably 1 for each.

  • @nonya-honestly231
    @nonya-honestly231 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    not even kidding this videos are so good that this helped me so much with my depression its gotten a lot better since i began watching this.

  • @robotraider
    @robotraider 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I've lived a perfect life so far, im so grateful yet I've become anxious and terrible self esteem, which just makes me feel like a failure, because I've had so much given to me ...

  • @IamBeingReal
    @IamBeingReal 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    being out there releasing the same info we pay for therapy is a priceless and a noble action. hats off Leo

  • @jizzncookies
    @jizzncookies 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    im on my path and it hit me really hard when i realized the main thing i need to work on is my self esteem. everything you said on this video is right and im glad that now i know its an actual thing and not just me sucking as a person.

  • @tawannaedwards8467
    @tawannaedwards8467 8 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This was so wonderful I am so encouraged.....Leo is always so great....love this guy.

  • @fusselflausch7153
    @fusselflausch7153 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    well, i have been bullied in middle school. I dont know how it started but once it began, i started to hate everyone. Even when people tried to get me into the class tribe feel, i insulted them and told them to leave me the fuck alone. So they started hating me again. After that it was all over and when i came into highschool i started to feel weird whenever i started to talk to someone, when it was not related to school. I felt like i bother them and get on their nerves, even though it was ok. It is still like this today.
    I feel like everything i stand for, the passions i have and even the things i like are bad. I hide my hobbies and passions from everyone and when i dont i feel misserable.

  • @alianajacobs5703
    @alianajacobs5703 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks a lot for your videos I am working through my depression. You have helped me alot by telling me what's wrong about myself. It was first hard to hear but eventually by time I will heal. I take the time to reflect on the bad things that happened and given them the space, that's its okay now I don't live in that negative home anymore. I am an adult now, I still cope with things from trauma of mental and physical abuse but I am making little baby steps with my therapist to get there. Whenever I feel helpless I listen to you and it really helps me alot! Thank you!

  • @81avila
    @81avila 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    honestly I'm making a change today and thanks to you and the stuff you said I'm not going to look back on it ever again I have to be positive and I have to do the best if I want good things in my life. " not going to be the doormat anymore" " Not going to let people walk all over me" I have to focus on myself and what's important in life Thanks for the video. I feel way better now.

  • @daniellamoreno3616
    @daniellamoreno3616 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I've knocked down so many times by my own family and.spouse its hard to believe in myself like I once did.
    I stand up for myself from .time to time.Its tough out in life and sometimes I have codependency.

  • @rashayellow560
    @rashayellow560 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    All my life I've always had a phobia that I was going to fail school - infact I graduated at the top of my class -
    As a child i struggled with a learning disability and I shyed out and always had to work hard
    And there were people who told me I had social problems
    I feel like those early school days made me have this irrational fear
    Thank you !

  • @susancoulter5650
    @susancoulter5650 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for these lessons on self actualization. In college, the year before grad school, I took a sociology class on “how to think about myself in the world.”
    I don’t even remember the question to the class, but I do remember the professor (really full of himself) conditioned our response by saying, “Please don’t answer with a term or phrase insinuating or stating the concept of self-actualization. That’s not an answer.” Well, that was my answer. My work is all about helping others lift themselves and find their true life, by starting with the stage of self actualization that needs completion.

  • @iamhanna072096
    @iamhanna072096 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i have low self esteem because I am such a jealous and insecure person. It hurts to see other people do better than me and this reflects to how I see myself. I belittle myself because others are better than me.

  • @ScarletFever109
    @ScarletFever109 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    My self esteem is so low that I’m in a bad place right now. I had friends ask me for favors and guilt trip me to get me to accept their requests anyway. I couldn’t even say no without them making me feel bad.

    • @locoa648
      @locoa648 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Cherry Hamilton you deserve better friends then them one day you will get friends who treat you good know your worth with friendships I struggle with friendships myself

  • @salek991
    @salek991 10 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I've seen a lot of these kind of self-help, motivational videos. For the most part it's just people talking about their personal experiences with their struggles. That offers some insight, but none of them ever fully address the problem, or define it on a general level. This is different. You seem to really know what you're talking about; you explain the problem very thoroughly and academically, and provide great solutions to the problem. You also have a lot of content, and you seem to work hard. I'd like to say thank you and keep making videos, you're doing a great job.

  • @Z-A-C
    @Z-A-C 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    5:06 “because this is YOUR life, and YOU’RE at the center of it. That’s so true I needed to hear that.

  • @francesco43567
    @francesco43567 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    During high school I destroyed myself, trying to achieve perfection with my body and with all my performances. Most of the times I failed to achieve perfect results, but the few times when I was able to do that nothing was changing, my self esteem was always so poor. When I reached the bottom trying to knife myself in the stomach, I started to rebuilt myslef. Now I have been continuing this journey against my negative and destructive thoughts for almost years and I fell I'm becoming the person that I wanted to be when I was a child. The journey has not an end and it is so complicated and difficult, but you are able to face all these difficulties, so start now even if you fell very weak, because betting on your self is the best thing you can do in all your life! Keep moving forward!

  • @ryanpvwplaysmc4044
    @ryanpvwplaysmc4044 9 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I rate myself a 0.2 out of 10 self esteem

    • @teiganxo6345
      @teiganxo6345 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Your skin isn't paper, don't cut it
      Your face isn't a mask, don't hide it
      Your body isn't a book, don't judge it
      Your life isn't a movie, don't end it
      To anyone going through anything, stay strong, you can and will get through it

    • @motionpictures7775
      @motionpictures7775 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The only thing is look how much years you have left, how many things you can do in the time you have left dont let other people make you think you cant do something imagine all the people that have lost their kids life to these things you are just the best but its your choice if you want to tell yourself that everyone you see can be going through the same always compliment people it can help alot

  • @jascanka
    @jascanka 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    you're absolutely amazing! thank you so much. You're doing so much good.

  • @maimapassawe7822
    @maimapassawe7822 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I never knew that I had high self esteem until I watched this video, because I always go after what I believe in. Thank you so much for your inspirational speech.

  • @miamilady2278
    @miamilady2278 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is incredible, love ur talks/videos. Makes me feel that im not the only one with high self-esteem, and it's not me, it's them which are negative, not myself.

  • @vrena4567
    @vrena4567 8 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Leo, 2 years ago I watched almost all of your videos. And now I found this video by accident and I decided to check on how much I improved myself since then, so I watched it again. And I'm really thankful for you, because according to your video, and also my life (obviously), I successfully developed my self-esteem to the next level! And well, tbh I wouldn't be here without your videos! Thank you!

    • @GhaithAbdulrazzaq
      @GhaithAbdulrazzaq 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Renáta Végh I'm happy for you

    • @bekhadrahamza882
      @bekhadrahamza882 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      good

    • @happystrength984
      @happystrength984 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      amazing

    • @davedowden
      @davedowden 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Renáta Végh YOU NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥️

    • @SoldierOfGodKJV
      @SoldierOfGodKJV 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Have you been baptized into Jesus name for the remission of sins and filled with the Holy Ghost?

  • @aliuzzell4997
    @aliuzzell4997 10 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    I have a bad habit of saying sorry all the time. Is this due to low self esteem and if so, how do I stop saying sorry - even for things which are not my fault?

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  10 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Yes, you're being a fake people-pleaser. Watch this:
      How To Be Yourself - Become Your Authentic Self Right Now

    • @RearAdmiralTootToot
      @RearAdmiralTootToot 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Also, you forgot to say you're sorry at the beginning of this post for making me have to see it :D

    • @bonniehirtz786
      @bonniehirtz786 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@RearAdmiralTootToot 😂

    • @davedowden
      @davedowden 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ali Uzzell YOU NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥️

  • @christopherdesigngroup3315
    @christopherdesigngroup3315 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi,
    Thanks for the tips. I took your suggestion and went through my life and made a list of all the memorable incidents of abuse and rejection that keeps repeating itself in my life. I then went back and made notes on the times that I fought back and stood up for myself. I am glad it has increased but I still feel bad that I did not do it sooner or that it took me so long to recognize that the family members who were claiming to criticize me in order to "help me become better" are just abusive people who are angry and have low self-esteem issues themselves. My spiritual beliefs made me feel responsible to save them by tolerating their abuse and trying to make them see that I was not a bad person and that they should be positive and loving. What a waste of precious time and wisdom. Forget that old belief too.

  • @Moh.ali.lifetips
    @Moh.ali.lifetips 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Good job Leo. I grew thinking I wasn't good enough my whole entire life. I thought I would never make it to be anything. I thought I was beneath dirt and no one would ever love me. But I realized that my life is the complete opposite of that people have love and care for me. I am a person who is worth so much more then the words and their self representation. I feel like that I could take the world and that I cN be something better then my old self. My self esteem is definetly not the highest but it will be sooner or later Thays for sure. I believe I was placed on this world for my deep thinking and ability to be self aware of things that others aren't. I know I am gifted in every shape and form and I will go far beyond this point to bigger and better places. I will not let people walk all over me because I am worth so much more then that..

  • @ellydion2813
    @ellydion2813 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks Leo, what a powerful talk on self esteem.. I have started practicing mindfulness, positivity, and looking at the world as a safe and happy place. I suffered from depression for many, many years but now have recovered greatly and I feel alive. It was a long and difficult road to recovery but hey, I am brave and resilient to have came this far. I made a commitment to myself not to look back. I'm just looking around for more self-help articles/videos to boost my now positive outlook in life and that's how I came to watch you here.

  • @Sundaysucks21
    @Sundaysucks21 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    My self esteem is so low that I can’t have a group conversation. I stay quiet and make things awkward. It makes me feel even worse about myself.

    • @preydy1259
      @preydy1259 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I see you. I've felt like this all my life. I was always afraid of participating in group discussions cause I thought my opinions and thoughts weren't good enough. I always doubted myself and felt ashamed of a lot of things in my life. But now that I'm self-aware I'm trying to undo everything and rebuild my self-esteem. I wish you all the best with your journey and I hope you find happiness

    • @kalyanbhadra7919
      @kalyanbhadra7919 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@preydy1259 How did you become self-aware and started building self-esteem? Because I exactly have the same problems.

    • @Bioferts
      @Bioferts 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kalyanbhadra7919 Didn't the video explain that to you? If not, this video is useless lol

  • @amandam7415
    @amandam7415 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is great! You are so easy to listen to, such a nice real person, & I felt great after watching this. Lots of work to do but you make it seem very achievable.

  • @samodom2165
    @samodom2165 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Self help? It's all about money that I don't have. Thank you for sharing this and making me feel like I waisted my time.

    • @mindset2billions756
      @mindset2billions756 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sam Odom your words have power and I recommend you start doing daily positive affirmations to improve your life and to watch this video on the law of attraction the teacher makes this clear-mindset2billions.com/

  • @kateredington2171
    @kateredington2171 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You explained so well. Really needed to hear this today as feeling so broken. I was listening to Nathaniels audio book but it was a bit too wordy for me as wasn't really getting what he was saying. You've explained more clearly in a language I can understand. I will watch more of your videos now. Thank you ❤️

  • @viljamipaimen7703
    @viljamipaimen7703 8 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    If you just always accept who you are you are never ever gonna grow and never ever NEVER gonna get better

    • @Steventhesong
      @Steventhesong 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You have to first accept your problems before you fix them

    • @silviuandreiiacoban3962
      @silviuandreiiacoban3962 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      you can’t fix something before you accept there is a problem in the first place; you can’t fix something you don’t accept that is broken

  • @crucialhabitsforlife
    @crucialhabitsforlife 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    working on your self-esteem is one of the most important things you can do. thanks love the content.

  • @mandirush5828
    @mandirush5828 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thankyou! I'm suffering pretty low self esteem at the mo, you've given me the helping hand I needed 😘

  • @Ashlycampbell25
    @Ashlycampbell25 10 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I can tell you've studied a lot on this and its great to pass along what you've learnt to others ;) We r forever learning n processing .. I think wisdom is the secret of happiness .. you cant fix something if you don't know how it works ! keep up the great work !

  • @muadz6629
    @muadz6629 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is the first time where I've been fully aware that I've literally highlighted certain dates in my head, because on those specific dates, something traumatic had happened to me that played an incredibly crucial role in the way how I developed growing up. I've paid more attention to those negative days than the more positive ones, such as my birthday, the day I graduated from high school, when I started my first job, when my parents bought me a car, etc.. These videos are having me do some serious re-evaluation with my life. I didn't even expect to tear up from this video at all.

    • @GwunChin
      @GwunChin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Stay strong my friend. Awareness is a huge step forward.

  • @protagonist7363
    @protagonist7363 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    The average popular videos on yt are 3" long but Leo managed to get 1M+ views on 30minute videos, respect.

  • @ejrock2156
    @ejrock2156 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I just found you a couple of days ago on the tube. You are amazing, what keep me coming back to your page its the realness. I feel like your going through or been through what I'm dealing with. It feel good to see you testifying and helping people.

  • @auroracanvas
    @auroracanvas 9 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    How can one accept one's self while at the same time try to fix himself, I have always found that concept contradicting,if you love the way you are that wouldn't push you to improve yourself ; if I loved my forgetfulness I wouldn't seek memory improvement techniques, I hear that a lot: "love yourself " and what you mentioned in one of your videos where you asked the audience to watch an ordinary book, appreciate it at the moment "no analyzing" it's fairly impossible for me to love without analyzing, it's very similar to forgive unconditionally to be at peace.
    Thanks in advance

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  9 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      In the same way that you might love your child and ALSO expect him to grow!

    • @auroracanvas
      @auroracanvas 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Actualized.org but acting like a parent _internally that is_for every human being you run into through life is a demanding approach, I believe each one of us has a deep inside spring of giving /love that we are born with, but what if this spring is jammed for some reason, this approach of forgiving others hoping they will evolve/grow will put you in a state of a psychological drought that messes up your peace.

    • @ActualizedOrg
      @ActualizedOrg  9 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      aura - I'm not talking about being a parent for others. I'm talking about being a parent for YOURSELF! Self-esteem is 100% an internal personal issue. Don't worry about other people.

    • @auroracanvas
      @auroracanvas 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Actualized.org thanks for the feedback.. your videos are powerful and intriguing. . I will do more reading :)

    • @jkuzel
      @jkuzel 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      aura - In the book Nathaniel says to change what is possible to change and accept what is not possible to change. So for example if you are not confident about your physical attractivity - you would then learn to accept your face or genetic conditions (you can't change your face), but get involved with some physical training and better diet to get in shape (you can significantly change the composition and shape of your body).

  • @mphokganyago2052
    @mphokganyago2052 8 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I grew up being called names..because of my dental issue at the time.So I could never laugh or talk freely because i felt like people were always staring & making fun of me. more often that not i always had to explain what had happened to my tooth. hated that.It made me really sensitive as a kid coz I didn't really know how to deal with such..defend & protect myself mentally from my own self( self critism)..most of the time I took negative remarks to heart plus I was very very shy & a nerve wreck.Always feeling guilty too. As a result I started to feel worthless, empty and developed a paranoia..of people always teasing me or saying negative things behind my back.Day by day I became quiet....avoiding social situations.. specifically with people I don't know & just not trusting in my ability to make decisions on my own.i just wanted to be cool.... comfortable within my own skin and be respected.Too bad school doesn't teach us such.Which is a Shame really. Though I had friends ...I felt misunderstood you know.Sometimes I wished I could trade shoes with certain kids I admired coz I saw qualities in them that I thought where out of reach for me.Thus I've learnt to better myself..I still find that I still slip back into my childhood struggles.

    • @mcwolfus2
      @mcwolfus2 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have odd ears, in that one ear is has an (concha I believe it is called), which is different to the other one i.e. the concha is pushed out in one ear and 'in' in the other ear. When I got to adolescence I thought, "...f..k I, will never get a girlfriend...". The reality was that nobody noticed or cared when they did notice. My first girlfriend jumped back in shock when she finally noticed, she laughed a bit and that was it! All out in the open, and of course nothing changed. Anyone who is bothered by such things are not worth bothering with. I am proud of my odd ears now! 'cos nobody has ears like mine.

    • @joselin6298
      @joselin6298 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      i can relate

    • @pinkgal206
      @pinkgal206 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Mpho kganyago lol

    • @mcplisken1093
      @mcplisken1093 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Mpho kganyago
      you ain't alone comrade. Bullies always get their asses baterred to fuck eventually.

    • @trulaallen5590
      @trulaallen5590 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      People will pick on others because they dont feel good about themselves..... it takes focus off their flaws and makes them feel superior over someone else.
      In general...... people can be cruel.
      I'm sorry that they made you to feel insecure.
      HOWEVER..... I think we ALL have got teased or laughed at over some lil something in our lifetime.
      Like I said..... people can be heartless!
      I want you to remember FREDDIE MURCURY(lead singer of the rock band QUEEN).... He is a LEGEND, HE too had been teased about his dental issues. Look how he turned out. ;)

  • @cuteshaggydogs
    @cuteshaggydogs 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I never post comments but I decided yesterday to start building on self-love and self-esteem. Thanks for the videos, they have been tremendously helpful in this goal I've set for myself.

  • @rachelgong9739
    @rachelgong9739 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for the coaching. I believed I have self-esteem before watching your video about the six pillars of it. I did not work my hardest to achieve my life goals even a trivial one and looked inside of myself. That is why I always doubt myself or worse ignore it ascribing to other's fault. I will change after watching your clips.

  • @NYGeo96
    @NYGeo96 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    i got to 5:18 before having to stop to cry in the shower for a good 15 minutes, I'm a wreck

  • @countrycruiser4176
    @countrycruiser4176 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My dad passed away 2 years ago and ever since I've been so sad and dont do anything no more... But I'm gonna try to work on it and make it better

  • @vibhapremkumar2389
    @vibhapremkumar2389 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    hey!
    first of all let me tell you you did a amazing job in that video.It kinda enlightened me, when i was younger i did have a lot of family issues and all that i still do but I've learned to accept that.I didn't have any self esteem issues when I was younger but now I am starting to face them. I am glad I found this video I am gonna promise myself to work on my flaws and correct them and be proud of who I am.I always underestimated myself.Thank you again!

  • @saumiknaskar1733
    @saumiknaskar1733 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love listening to your videos.thank you..i have alot of issues.. sometimes I feel I need to give up but I won't I will never until I become the best..never stop..bad days will end..one day

  • @KhasAdun1990
    @KhasAdun1990 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I'm kind of surprised by something, I ranked myself at a 7 on self-efficacy, which is good, but my self image I ranked as a 2, yet I'm still going out an doing things people with low self esteem may not do. I've become a front end supervisor in a store, and started my own gaming channel on TH-cam. It seems like I've learned to ignore the part of my mind that says I shouldn't because it won't work. I'm ambitious, but the pillar I am lowest on by far is self-acceptance. I had a rough early life always being in the hospital (14 operations by up until I was 12) and a lot of bullying to boot. I don't bother with dating because I assume I'm unattractive. I've had to get better at my assertiveness since becoming a supervisor, which is the kind of change I was looking for when I took that job, and I think I could do better at taking responsibility for myself. Anyway, I just thought it was interesting that even though my self-image is so low, it doesn't seem to stop me from doing neat things. I suppose that should raise my self-image a bit, and it may be the negative self-image that could be powering those decisions subconsciously, as kind of a "showed you" to people who picked on me everyday for many years. But I do still constantly feel like I'm just not good enough at anything I do, and I think this belief may be a mistake, or rather that the belief that this is a good belief because it keeps me improving, may be a mistake. But I don't want to get lazy and worthless either. Anyway, I love this kind of stuff, I don't know how much I know about it, but I've been doing the introspection thing since middle school.

  • @BourneAccident
    @BourneAccident 9 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    There's no such thing as self esteem. What you're really talking about is self confidence and confidence is gained through truth and honesty and selflessness.

    • @gusgrizzel8397
      @gusgrizzel8397 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Bourne Accident I think the same thing. When we achieve or accomplish something WE think is good, that matters to US, we feel good. No one can take that from us, because we did something we set out to do.

    • @Repulver
      @Repulver 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Bourne Accident Confidence is gained through mastering problems. I don't see where honesty and selfnessless comes into play here? - Apart from being solutions to problems ofcourse ;)

    • @BourneAccident
      @BourneAccident 9 ปีที่แล้ว

      Manato Sola Yes I totally agree that confidence is gained through mastery of problems, and I think the ablility to master problems is greatly enhanced through selfless and honest behavior.

    • @thelegendaryblackbeastofaa115
      @thelegendaryblackbeastofaa115 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Bourne Accident A rose by any other name, dude.

    • @BourneAccident
      @BourneAccident 9 ปีที่แล้ว

      Zona Rosa Yeah sure, a rose is a petunia and a petunia is a sunflower etc... by your definition.

  • @nancymc
    @nancymc 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    You have said this in a nutshell. How knowledgeable you are. Love listening to you

  • @livingahumanlife2651
    @livingahumanlife2651 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank God for living in a age where we have TH-cam. There is alot of crap on YT but the videos that help people who are struggling are so important!

  • @TheBootywest
    @TheBootywest 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I am old. Mid 40s. I have a lovely 3 year old kid and a partner who loves me. I am well-travelled have university education and have never had any major health problems. I amnot brilliant at anything but enjoy playing guitar, mountain biking and photography. However, my career life has been relatively unsuccessful. I feel i am going to die poor and without property. I always feel i am not good enough and feel that every decision i have made is the wrong one. In the past I have shunned successful friends for own personal fears. . I dont know where I am on the scale, but I need to nail this problem once and for all.

    • @Aces00
      @Aces00 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I wish you the best. Realize that you are your own critic; the world isn't saying you're "not brilliant at anything" or that you are unsuccessful. Accept the good in what you've done and accomplished, don't dwell on what you perceive as failures.

    • @Virtualvinyilradio
      @Virtualvinyilradio 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      You dont need to hide. Stop caring what people think about you.

    • @outsiderswanted1406
      @outsiderswanted1406 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      You have to realize that what you have rn is good enough and you have all you need and Wanted having a wife that loves you and kids who love you that’s good enough for anyone. Dying poor isn’t that big of a deal long as you know your kids are doing good on there own and have a roof of there own and are loved.... doesn’t matter if you live in a box or live in a mansion long as you have your family and surrounded by people who love you and your healthy it shouldn’t matter. My stepmom and my dad are so happy and live in a basement...I asked my stepmom doesn’t she want to have a house or apartment she told me she is happy doesn’t matter where she is long as she has love. You can always fix the past.. reach out and telling them why you felt the way you did and what lead to shunning your friends. It’s okay to not live by expectations long as you don’t set unrealistic ones

    • @davedowden
      @davedowden 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ian West YOU NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥️

  • @maryempire1104
    @maryempire1104 6 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    My mom destroyed my self-esteem

    • @davedowden
      @davedowden 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mary Empire YOU NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥️

    • @joshrivera473
      @joshrivera473 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      O_o you NEED to stop forcing your religion down people’s throat.

    • @11123fsd
      @11123fsd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Same... my mom has low self esteem and she projected that into me... It took a lot of work to fix myself

    • @maryempire1104
      @maryempire1104 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@davedowden lmao

    • @windycitiz9615
      @windycitiz9615 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Stef same thing happened to me. I took a lot of years building up myself. First step is letting go blame and forgive them people so you can move on

  • @katrinadavisson3481
    @katrinadavisson3481 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Like the no-nonsense style Leo uses to talk about bettering ourselves. Thanks, Leo!

  • @keanurevert9275
    @keanurevert9275 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I just started watching this channel, but i gotta say i read nathaniel brandons 6 pillars of self esteem about a year ago now. It was an absolute life changer. 10/10 reccomend.