As Irish playwright George B. Shaw quoted : “ I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides , the pig likes it” I keep in my mind at all times. Yes, I learned ( little late ) not to react , stay silent. Thank you Andrew❤
Silence is a powerful weapon. By refusing to give them information, you deny them the attention and validation they need to feel important. Silence is a form of boundery setting, you protect your mental health and you can control the situation. I hope you are fine, Andrew! Thank you so much for this video. ❤
I woke up one day and pronounced “I want out and I want out now. “I even shocked myself that day that I said it and I meant it there was no turning back.
Yes! Silence is gold. As long as they don't know what we think, they can only speculate. They don't have anything tengible to control us with. Have a wonderful afternoon Andrew and all the people here. ❤😊
They'll be living with the hell in their head, assuming the worst because they think everyone else schemes like they do. Let them, just leave them to it. ❤
I used a very calm attitude and silence with a narcissist who was visiting her mother in my apartment building and she yelled even more. I stayed calm, silent, and reported the crazy one to my apartment building management. Now the narcissist behaves and keeps quiet so she can still visit her mother in the apartment building. Silence works with a crazy narcissist. Namaste. 🙏 ❤️
That’s true. ❤ Because narcissists are all about getting revenge on anyone who makes them feel stupid. As a matter of fact, narcissists are about all things evil. And they don’t have a guilty conscience for doing it.
Just got out of sauna reflecting on the abuse and discard from both parents and 1 sibling. Been a hell of a 3 years since I went no contact, although it still and will probably always hurt like hell. Videos like these keep me going. Thankyou
Ten years for me and both parents have passed on. I was not contacted when they died. It does not hurt anymore. I have total peace. My remaining family and I are not being constantly abused by them , the scapegoat and innumerable flying monkeys. (AN entire town). When toxic people come around I feel like Neo in the Matrix. I just get tactfully (if possible) rid of them. Do not accept false guilt. This is not your fault. You were born into dysfunction.
22 years of NC for me and I feel all of this. I’ve been surrounded by them my whole life and it’s like I was just now, at 60, handed their playbook. Incredible. Same story Hyacinth. The abusive mother passed 2 months ago and zero contact from the toxic sibling. It’s like a silent victory to have stood tall in my truth all those years, and not succumb to their darkness and not need them for anything. They honestly don’t deserve your light. In fact it repels them the brighter you get. ✨💫
It won't hurt forever, I can now say almost 30 years removed from my mother. It was like mourning a death for several years, but by then I also knew I had done the right thing for myself for once in my life with regard to her. By no account is she becoming a better person since then and is, in fact, quite the opposite. Not once have I been sorry I missed seeing this go on. ❤
Over 1 year, no contact. Reactive abuse is real. You are so right, Andrew. I flipped out at the end. I was screaming, and since he is a covert narcissist, he slithered off to his families house again. He brought a gun and scope into our apartment after he threatened my coworkers and I, saying he could break into the government building I was working at. I went crazy when I saw the gun scope. I screamed at him to get it out of the apartment. He said he was joking. No, he was in a narcissist rage that day. He meant all of it. They mean to inflict everything, and it is not all in your head, people. I'm peacefully experiencing life now. I am unemployed, but I finished out my contract at my last position in good standing. I have 2 job interviews this week. I never have to think about the flying monkeys. Thank you for your daily videos. They give me strength. I have permanent injuries now. The accident happened in October 2022, when I was trying to leave him the day before my interview for a better job. Don't stay. Try everything you can to get out before something bad happens.
Yes, silence is absolutely golden.....Currently using it as my superpower...Inside I kind of find funny cause it stops narcissistic family members dead in their tracks....It's a no contact for life for me.
The narcissist in my life often told me "I Love to Play Mind Games With You" my high school sweetheart, since age 15. Spent 32 years in their control. I use to say to him, you twist things around ( he would just laugh at me) I went to 3, councilors, he went with me to 2 ( he ~ Called her manipulative, yet he had chosen her) we also had counseling by minister, who actually asked me when I planned to leave, ( no hope) We had taken personality testing. My adult son alerted me to the word narcissist. Finally escaped, then moved & lived near a Library, researched this topic. . At age 50 bought a laptop. Now decades later, I'm informed, & help others in this situation. I recommend you to others. Thank you for your insights in this topic. I watch many on this topic, but your direct & quickly tell it like it is, clear & precise.
Well, this is something I totally messed up on with both narcissists I've encountered. Once pushed too far, I left them have it! I'm sure they fed off of it even more in their sick twisted mind, because they saw it as me caring. More supply for them. The fire 🔥 in me when pushed too far. I need to keep in mind that "silence is golden." 🤐🤐
Dont seek Revenge ,life is too short,, ive been assertive when needed ,,But i believe Karma is Real,,we got to be very careful what we put out to the Universe,🧘🌻✨
So many men and women dealing with narcissistic abuse. 🙇♂️ Silence is also important not to give yourself any more hurt that you have acted in a certain way. When we heal we tend to want to blame ourselves for not being stronger by what we did do. So not adding to that list is highly important in healing later. We are such phenomenal people who introspect, that we take things really hard, and are hard on ourselves too much. I had to resolve that the way I reacted to the narcissist really isn’t who I am, and really doesn’t matter as much as I thought it did.
Thank you for sharing this Christopher. I think I know deep down that I’m not a bad person.. but I also know I’ve done things too and I hate that I’ve done certain things because it wasn’t me. It was the narc. They bring out the worst in good people like us. They destroy us. I see myself and I feel so much spite and hate in my heart. I just feel so angry. When you deal with a narc long term it feels like you lose most of yourself and you forget who you were or it’s a very distant memory. Thank you again for sharing.
@@lailaa6662I agree. I moved into an apt with a NARC landlord ( although I did NOT KNOW IT AT THAT TIME ). Over time I was NOT ABLE t keep "fending off the attack(s)" on who I AM. Complicated by the fact I also had a NARC mgr at my job simultaneou sly. ( Yes, spelled that way purposely because NARCS are SLY. 😉 ) Got transferred to a different location for my job and encountered ANOTHER NARC mgr. 🙄 🥴 I AM slowly ( and SLYLY ) using their same strategies AGAINST NARCS. 😉 I AM not completely back to where I was BEFORE NARC landlord but I would say 80% and WORKING ON IT EVERY DAY!!! 😉
@@lailaa6662 thank you for sharing Laila, it’s relatively ok to feel all this. We just remember that we have even more of a choice now to be the person we weren’t allowed to be for whatever reason. Right? Now we know that it was somewhat our circumstances. We acted normally in this kind of situation. What were we supposed to do? It’s not our fault that we wanted to try so hard that it effected us the way that it did. I will go on loving the way I want to love, the way I know I can love. I am finally at a place where I can do that. They always tried to make us feel inferior, and now we can laugh at them knowing we are not inferior, but really superior. You get to choose now, you’ve got new information to base it on. That’s life huh? I hope this helps. This is what I have acknowledged. ❤️❤️🙏🙏
@@catherinefry49 Yes exactly, I keep being afraid that people are just claiming that someone is a narcissist, when they aren’t. I agree. If those people doing the claiming are wrong, they are just not taking accountability, and are throwing away someone who might just be in a mood, or being caused to be in a mood. Good call. Thank you It’s crazy that these things are only really understood and felt by the ones who were actually abused. I hope that people do the work and realize that if the traits don’t fit, then narcissism probably doesn’t exist. We can dream can’t we. Lol
Silence is key! We have to be out of sight and move in silence.. they shouldnt know what is going on with you because they will hoover and try to destroy
Like worrying, confronting a narcissist is like rocking in a rocking chair. Gives you something to do, but getting nowhere. No words can come out that the narcissist can not twist and turn the words back on you. Silence is the best medicine. This video is valuable and worth replaying daily for strength and wisdom.❤
Yes truths,,,I have a very small number of people in my life,and it's a good Fit For Me,,I keep to myself,mind my own business and keep a lot of people at arm's length,,My Silence Is My Super Power,, and living in the present moment,,,T.Y.Andrew,🎯❤️❤️🌟
I have been watching you for two years now, and everything you have said, happened to me. I went silent the last 6 months of the relationship and it did wonders. I am single and free and it feels so good. Thank you so much!
This the absolute truth and best advice as to how to deal with a malignant, blood sucking narcissist. Go silent, no contact if possible, eliminate them from your life, but be quiet about it and enjoy the peace that it brings.
Silence is powerful, and the people who know the situation and who matter will come to know exactly why you're not there. Stay strong, and know it's the greatest thing you can do for yourself. ❤
His new supply actually said to him “ your wife is nothing like I thought.” I heard that over the phone when he came over first & last time. When I questioned the narc, “ I heard what he said, what did he mean and why did you laugh??” The chapter was closed that fatal evening giving me more resolve, that my ex had been speaking trash about me on social media. Three days from that day I told him to pack. After 24 yrs this is what the narc had to do on social media. He actually stays FAR from me,he’s totally paranoid about the info I have from his phone. He would not want me w supply to find out RIGHT? He went way to far this time. I’m strong not a victim & have resolve to walk into my new life. I’m released from the lower side of life.
When my narc packed, she thought I was going to text and call her nonstop, year and a half later she got silence, her brain must be like scrambled eggs 😂
Great video Andrew . After being discarded I unintentionally went silent. I just left everything even my job turned off my phone for 3 months and kept to myself. I was very hurt and a part of me knew that he was a horrible person and that I could do better. I was often tempted to look at his social media but I knew seeing him with his new supply would hurt me more. I decided to just keep moving forward and never look back, I ignored everything from the narcissist and I'm ok it's a tough journey but it's very worth it. I'm still working on myself and taking every opportunity to better myself. Thank you Andrew for the video and thank you everyone for your kind words. Stay strong everyone.
Today is my birthday.. no one wished me happy birthday. Only my mother. My family didn’t care at all, never did. But being silent is a blessing, knowing that God is by my side.
In my case silence was necessary. I lived with the ex narc in his home, and even though I contributed financially it was always "his" home. He seemed to think this gave him the right to tell me how to do everything. Everything was his way. If you bucked his system, you'd get rage. Fists through the wall, dishes and food thrown, yelling, etc. He'd also scream "call 911, call 911". Sometimes he did, and it was always embarrassing. I learned to keep my mouth shut. I tolerated this for years. My parents were gone, my siblings all struggling to survive, and my daughter newly married. I had no one to help me, and nowhere to go. I was stuck. Luckily as time went by I was able to leave. I had to do a stint in a domestic violence shelter for a few months, but moved on from that. Even now I'm reluctant to discuss that episode in my life with strangers or family. I mention it here because I know there's understanding here. Thank you all for that too.
It is very important for healing to have someone hear your "whole" story and experience. Many support groups out there or a "life coach" or therapist. Free services are available almost everywhere. Blessings to you! Sending you positive energy and prayers to experience deep healing. Namaste 💞
It takes so much to go no contact, not least because the abuse leaves so many un answered questions, ones that you chase after the answers for. But yes eventually you figure it out, and think that's it no, more contact because the answers wont come and the love wasn't real. You stay silent and strength comes.
Andrew in my confused mind I started to keep my silence in the last months before I discarded the toxic narcissist. Nothing in life made him smile or exited. Specifically nature. Creation of the Lord that was entrusted to us by the Lord. Every new Double Hibiscus 🌺 that opened and bloomed. Roses, lilies. Blooming trees. Whales 🐋 playing in the ocean. The beautiful moon phases. Specialy Full moon, a Sunrise, a sunset. The most beautiful things FOR FREE TO ADMIRE was of any interest to him. He thought I was crazy. After the rain I would first thing in the morning check the rain Guage. He just shook his head in unbelievable that such unimportant issues was a highlight, a treasure for me. So I just sat quiet all by myself, outside, watching the sunset or coffee in morning at Sunrise. I me myself, thanking the Lord for a beautiful new day, and watch the Whales playing in the ocean or just enjoyed my beautiful garden where I love to be and plant and appreciate the beauty. Without oooh and ahhh I kept my silence and it was so comforting. Never mentioned WOW dit you see this or that blooming.
Yes, always consider what you text the narcissist or say in a voicemail. They could use it against you for the smear campaign or simply laugh at you as they read it. Don't give them the supply/satisfaction of knowing they upset you. Instead write how you are feeling on paper (or journal) for yourself only to read. That way you get it out of your system.
I got the wisdom, all my ex’s, my mother, sister, brother, uncles and cousin are all narcissists. I’m single, with no family but I’m happy with my two cats Bill and Ginge. Education is key.
No more feeling like a terrified animal caught in the headlights........No more feeling so terrible helpless and cornered and frightened..... Hurtful people in the past paralysed me......not anymore for I firmly believe that they will ‘Be’ accountable at the end of the day..... Yes quiet confident silence is great strength...for I have the wisdom and education and it’s like a garrison around me now, Great video Andrew and Very Many Thanks 🙏❤️💪
I will be playing this glorious message repeatedly! This is so heaven sent-straight to my heart! I read a book years ago that said if dealing with a narc- run for your life! Great message Andrew! You are so right!!
Hi Sue, the book I’m referring to is named “Getting it through my thick skull”! Great title huh? Lol I read this 15 years ago when I first realized the poor/intolerable behavior of my narc! She had kids with him! It’s a great story! Pass it on! Hope you can find it! I sure could relate to her story! I’ve read other books on topic as well! ThankGod for Andrews channel and to thank the good Lord! Keep in touch dear one! 🙏4 U😇
If you MUST have the narc in your life your best defense is to respond - not react. Responding minimally is not gray rock, it's yellow rock (yes, that's a thing). It's respectful and brief. It 'gets you by' in the workplace and makes you boring in a relationship. And that's a safety net while you pass the time. Thank you, Andrew. 🙌
Andrew, yesterday I was discarded but in a sense I’m relieved. During our last call I wished her success and told her I loved her. I still do. But I love myself more than to take the pain that always happens in the trauma cycle. You descriptions I see in my mind. My energy and life force left me with little for my family, dog, job and self. The constant ideas about moving to foreign countries, charities, degrading where I live, Michelin Restaurants, Jewelry, working on her property, wanting me to sell my home and buy a home with her, canceling plans at the last minute and taking off with her friends without a thought about me at all. And for me to fool myself that my idea of what we could be would be. So I chose to love just love and support. And in the end (the 15th end) it’s never finished. So today I blocked her, like I’ve down before. She’s turned her back on me. I have to walk away. No flying Monkeys around which is good. I had made her my life. So now I have to recover. I’m going to take a long walk. Thank you for assisting me here.
When you go silence expect them to elevate the game and on every new level new devil silence is your power and move in silent and do not share your information have boundaries
Yes! Silence is strength! Sometimes we feel the need to tell it like it is to validate ourselves. You cannot do that with a narcissist. You will throw yourself into their space of manipulation and frustration. They need it like a drug. Don’t give it to them....☮️🕉
I've finally gained the strength to go completely no contact with the narc. A few weeks ago we spoke and things seemed ok. He lives in a dangerous neighbourhood so I worry about him. While on the call it cut and he had been speaking to someone on the street. I tried calling him again and again and he did not answer. Spent the entire night trying to get a hold of him. Eventually called the police to check on him in the early hours of the morning. He sent me a message saying he was fine, he met some friends and got busy and had an early night. I cried with relief but I was so mad that he didnt think that he had worried people for no reason and he didnt apologise or think he did anything wrong. Ive just not called him back. He tried to call me a few times and i didnt take the calls. Im so done with him and his messed up behaviour which is all for attention. Even his friends say he does this for attention. Being silent is the only way I can care for myself and it is what he deserves.
I’ve never been one to fight or argue with anyone the narcissist will push your buttons stay quiet stood up to the ex once never did it again HUGE mistake so please stay quiet 🙏💕
I have addressed issues and they gaslight like; “you’re too sensitive”. I remember going gray rock in the past. My narcissist sister put my baby doll in bassinet with hair chopped off and put it on my doorstep. WTH! Put gifts on my outside door knob. Narcissist dad pounded my walls with a hammer trying to get me to answer my door. He also banged repeatedly extremely loudly on my front door. Narcissist mom called relatives, told her friends, hairdresser, and family loads of gossip about me. Trying to ruin my reputation while I go gray rock. My parents are dead now. Thank God!
Rewarded myself with an amazing deep tissue massage at a locally own and ran massage spa for not having contact with narc. I have temptations to but I didn't so I get a relaxing treat!🥰
Spent plenty of nights sleeping with my clothes on. Keys and wallet. Ready to roll. No more walking on eggshells and eating glass. Silence accomplished this. I'm still learning . Your information in invaluable to me. Just about every description you give ,I've experienced.
Every video I watch I learn something new . It’s important to stay true to yourself . Don’t react and be calm I was reacting for so long to the nonsense .
Yes ,because if time pass, its too late, check mate, hm thats what they want, one thing sir you dont know is feeling of motherly love and how is driving me crazy
Silence is the loudest voice. Silence can scream and she hurts. Remember when you were in the receiving end? Karma pays and can channel you when you’ve decided to take it the bat down. They implode tbh - can’t fathom it out and it drives them nuts. Be tge silent assassin people and live a better, more peaceful and resilient life 💕
Thank you so much Andrew! Keeping oneself from a "low-vibrational" state is hard...the high-road takes self-discipline, and as time passes by, it turns out to be the best choice.
So true. You named them correctly . I took the high road & just gracefully bowed down in silence . Well I did say I love you ❤ I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. I’m Done !
I saw the ageing narcissist video. Both enlightening and some bits quite funny. Provided an additional perspective. My silence skills are top notch now. So thankyou. Quiet observation of others behaviour is key. In any case, l am staying well away from these people. And if l need to collect items from their house, l will outsource someone (removalist) to do that.
Hi Andrew, you are so right about using silence to help break the cycle of abuse. I've been doing this and it's giving him less opportunities to pull me into the drama. Hardest part is not calling him out when he has suddenly wanted to spend quality time with our son after not bothering to do this for years. They know what hurts you the most. If I react I know it will make things worse. Once he attaches to his next victim he will shift his focus away again. Silence and patience are what I need to utilise in these early days after separation. Great topic and examples, so grateful for this channel right now x😊❤
The fact that you are with us on your beautiful channel with your beautiful words shows that you are already blessed my God, thank you and we will still wish for you the blessings of God))))))))
After the first discard I disappeared from mutual friends and social media. I did not want to add any more negativity to the world. Did respond to the first three Hoover’s until I realized the sick narc game he was playing. Then it was total no-contact. It’s been over a year now and I have this channel and others to thank for helping me stay strong. Meditation and mental discipline help with the ruminating. Keep going newbies! Tend to your inner life like it’s a sacred garden. Plant beautiful seed-thoughts. They will blossom!
I did not even know narcissists was a thing or they existed never heard of them before ever until TH-cam and my brain🤯 but i am free and thanks to y'all! God bless.. 💃🥳👏👏
Yes the only language they understand is Silence! When words don't work no more. I can't fuel them anymore with positive or getting stress with them, aka giving them negative energy, but Silence is very hard to hold, especially when they live sooo close to you . But I Still will hold it until the demon fades away and I reappear back to Me!!! Hard work definitely!
Silence works + sharing your valuable insight. I never blocked them just ignored. 3 months later+ they appear to have blocked me. It is wonderful not seeing them! Thank you, Andrew.
The silence keeps everyone wondering. Every time you open your mouth you give away the answers as to "what is she thinking?" ...make them guess. I can almost guaranty they will get it wrong every time. My husband did.
" A fish with his mouth closed
never gets caught."
🐟❤😊
😌😌💯
Your silence is their noise.
💯💯😉
As Irish playwright George B. Shaw quoted : “ I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides , the pig likes it” I keep in my mind at all times. Yes, I learned ( little late ) not to react , stay silent. Thank you Andrew❤
Welcome 😌💯🙏
😂
Yessss☺
That's a really good one😮!!
Great video, great message ❤❤❤
Silence is a powerful weapon.
By refusing to give them information, you deny them the attention and validation they need to feel important. Silence is a form of boundery setting, you protect your mental health and you can control the situation.
I hope you are fine, Andrew!
Thank you so much for this video.
❤
Welcome 🙏🙌❤️😌
It also keeps the mischief well away
I woke up one day and pronounced “I want out and I want out now. “I even shocked myself that day that I said it and I meant it there was no turning back.
💯🙏😌
Yes! Silence is gold. As long as they don't know what we think, they can only speculate. They don't have anything tengible to control us with. Have a wonderful afternoon Andrew and all the people here. ❤😊
💯🙏😌
They'll be living with the hell in their head, assuming the worst because they think everyone else schemes like they do. Let them, just leave them to it. ❤
Yes. They have nothing to go on. No information to twist, nothing to feed their delusions. We are in control here. Not them (at last). ❤
@@cc1k435 absolutely 😉🙌🙏
@@freebird968-wg4ye agree 💯 we are in control now. 😉💞
Love yourself more and walk away
😌🙏💯
If they don't know how you are feeling they can't manipulate you.
😉😉💯💯
Your silence is the only voice they hear.
Stay strong. 💖
You are so right.
Your silence echos in their ears like a fog horn.
😊
🤫🤫💯
So true
Donnahodgins
…and you’re taking your power back with dignity via the high road like Andrew says
✝️🙏🏻☀️💪❤️🌎
Listen folks...I learned this lesson...and it works....
🤫🤫💯
Did the narc hoover or directly reach out to you?
@@basicinfo2022 directly......and silence is the super power !!!!! thank you to NARCDAILY...
I used a very calm attitude and silence with a narcissist who was visiting her mother in my apartment building and she yelled even more. I stayed calm, silent, and reported the crazy one to my apartment building management. Now the narcissist behaves and keeps quiet so she can still visit her mother in the apartment building. Silence works with a crazy narcissist. Namaste. 🙏 ❤️
😌🙏🙌💯
Concerning this nut narc, never drop your guard.
If she trys to be freinds....walk away!!
❤❤❤🌹❤❤❤
That’s true. ❤
Because narcissists are all about getting revenge on anyone who makes them feel stupid. As a matter of fact, narcissists are about all things evil. And they don’t have a guilty conscience for doing it.
Just got out of sauna reflecting on the abuse and discard from both parents and 1 sibling. Been a hell of a 3 years since I went no contact, although it still and will probably always hurt like hell. Videos like these keep me going. Thankyou
Welcome 🙏😌🙌
Ten years for me and both parents have passed on. I was not contacted when they died. It does not hurt anymore. I have total peace. My remaining family and I are not being constantly abused by them , the scapegoat and innumerable flying monkeys. (AN entire town). When toxic people come around I feel like Neo in the Matrix. I just get tactfully (if possible) rid of them. Do not accept false guilt. This is not your fault. You were born into dysfunction.
22 years of NC for me and I feel all of this. I’ve been surrounded by them my whole life and it’s like I was just now, at 60, handed their playbook. Incredible. Same story Hyacinth. The abusive mother passed 2 months ago and zero contact from the toxic sibling. It’s like a silent victory to have stood tall in my truth all those years, and not succumb to their darkness and not need them for anything.
They honestly don’t deserve your light. In fact it repels them the brighter you get. ✨💫
It won't hurt forever, I can now say almost 30 years removed from my mother. It was like mourning a death for several years, but by then I also knew I had done the right thing for myself for once in my life with regard to her. By no account is she becoming a better person since then and is, in fact, quite the opposite. Not once have I been sorry I missed seeing this go on. ❤
Over 1 year, no contact. Reactive abuse is real. You are so right, Andrew. I flipped out at the end. I was screaming, and since he is a covert narcissist, he slithered off to his families house again. He brought a gun and scope into our apartment after he threatened my coworkers and I, saying he could break into the government building I was working at. I went crazy when I saw the gun scope. I screamed at him to get it out of the apartment. He said he was joking. No, he was in a narcissist rage that day. He meant all of it. They mean to inflict everything, and it is not all in your head, people. I'm peacefully experiencing life now. I am unemployed, but I finished out my contract at my last position in good standing. I have 2 job interviews this week. I never have to think about the flying monkeys. Thank you for your daily videos. They give me strength. I have permanent injuries now. The accident happened in October 2022, when I was trying to leave him the day before my interview for a better job. Don't stay. Try everything you can to get out before something bad happens.
Yes, silence is absolutely golden.....Currently using it as my superpower...Inside I kind of find funny cause it stops narcissistic family members dead in their tracks....It's a no contact for life for me.
😌🙏😉🤫
The narcissist in my life often told me "I Love to Play Mind Games With You" my high school sweetheart, since age 15. Spent 32 years in their control. I use to say to him, you twist things around ( he would just laugh at me) I went to 3, councilors, he went with me to 2 ( he ~ Called her manipulative, yet he had chosen her) we also had counseling by minister, who actually asked me when I planned to leave, ( no hope) We had taken personality testing. My adult son alerted me to the word narcissist. Finally escaped, then moved & lived near a Library, researched this topic. . At age 50 bought a laptop. Now decades later, I'm informed, & help others in this situation. I recommend you to others. Thank you for your insights in this topic. I watch many on this topic, but your direct & quickly tell it like it is, clear & precise.
Welcome 😌🙏💯🙌
He told me rollercoasters are fun when I told him he was like a emotional rollercoaster lol
Well, this is something I totally messed up on with both narcissists I've encountered. Once pushed too far, I left them have it! I'm sure they fed off of it even more in their sick twisted mind, because they saw it as me caring. More supply for them. The fire 🔥 in me when pushed too far. I need to keep in mind that "silence is golden." 🤐🤐
💯🙏😌
Dont seek Revenge ,life is too short,, ive been assertive when needed ,,But i believe Karma is Real,,we got to be very careful what we put out to the Universe,🧘🌻✨
😌🙏🙌💯
❤❤❤🦋🌹🦋❤️❤️❤️
@@mariageaney2362hi Maria hope all is going well for you lots of love sent,🤗🫂💖🌼🌺❤️❤️❤️❤️🧘
Im loving my silence.
🤫🤫💯
yes sir 👏😁
31 months post narc, no contact. I am narc/toxic people, free. As Andrew says, if he can do it, and I can make, so can u!!!!
💯🙏😉💪
What a fantastic comment- so inspiring and straight honest. Thrive and do great things. You deserve it! Thank you 💕
Excellent
💯💯😌
So many men and women dealing with narcissistic abuse. 🙇♂️
Silence is also important not to give yourself any more hurt that you have acted in a certain way. When we heal we tend to want to blame ourselves for not being stronger by what we did do.
So not adding to that list is highly important in healing later.
We are such phenomenal people who introspect, that we take things really hard, and are hard on ourselves too much.
I had to resolve that the way I reacted to the narcissist really isn’t who I am, and really doesn’t matter as much as I thought it did.
🙏💯😌
Thank you for sharing this Christopher. I think I know deep down that I’m not a bad person.. but I also know I’ve done things too and I hate that I’ve done certain things because it wasn’t me. It was the narc. They bring out the worst in good people like us. They destroy us. I see myself and I feel so much spite and hate in my heart. I just feel so angry. When you deal with a narc long term it feels like you lose most of yourself and you forget who you were or it’s a very distant memory. Thank you again for sharing.
@@lailaa6662I agree. I moved into an apt with a NARC landlord ( although I did NOT KNOW IT AT THAT TIME ).
Over time I was NOT ABLE t keep "fending off the attack(s)" on who I AM.
Complicated by the fact I also had a NARC mgr at my job simultaneou sly. ( Yes, spelled that way purposely because NARCS are SLY. 😉 )
Got transferred to a different location for my job and encountered ANOTHER NARC mgr. 🙄 🥴
I AM slowly ( and SLYLY ) using their same strategies AGAINST NARCS. 😉
I AM not completely back to where I was BEFORE NARC landlord but I would say 80% and WORKING ON IT EVERY DAY!!! 😉
@@lailaa6662 thank you for sharing Laila, it’s relatively ok to feel all this. We just remember that we have even more of a choice now to be the person we weren’t allowed to be for whatever reason. Right? Now we know that it was somewhat our circumstances. We acted normally in this kind of situation. What were we supposed to do? It’s not our fault that we wanted to try so hard that it effected us the way that it did. I will go on loving the way I want to love, the way I know I can love. I am finally at a place where I can do that. They always tried to make us feel inferior, and now we can laugh at them knowing we are not inferior, but really superior. You get to choose now, you’ve got new information to base it on. That’s life huh? I hope this helps. This is what I have acknowledged. ❤️❤️🙏🙏
@@catherinefry49 Yes exactly, I keep being afraid that people are just claiming that someone is a narcissist, when they aren’t. I agree. If those people doing the claiming are wrong, they are just not taking accountability, and are throwing away someone who might just be in a mood, or being caused to be in a mood. Good call. Thank you
It’s crazy that these things are only really understood and felt by the ones who were actually abused.
I hope that people do the work and realize that if the traits don’t fit, then narcissism probably doesn’t exist. We can dream can’t we. Lol
Silence is key! We have to be out of sight and move in silence.. they shouldnt know what is going on with you because they will hoover and try to destroy
💯💯🤫🤫
Like worrying, confronting a narcissist is like rocking in a rocking chair. Gives you something to do, but getting nowhere.
No words can come out that the narcissist can not twist and turn the words back on you.
Silence is the best medicine.
This video is valuable and worth replaying daily for strength and wisdom.❤
Yeah!
To repeat myself, and not have my meaning distorted.
Waste of time
Exactly rocking chair, that how it is, a boat that someone put anchor down and said Go....
Yes truths,,,I have a very small number of people in my life,and it's a good Fit For Me,,I keep to myself,mind my own business and keep a lot of people at arm's length,,My Silence Is My Super Power,, and living in the present moment,,,T.Y.Andrew,🎯❤️❤️🌟
Welcome 🌸😌💯
I have been watching you for two years now, and everything you have said, happened to me. I went silent the last 6 months of the relationship and it did wonders. I am single and free and it feels so good. Thank you so much!
This the absolute truth and best advice as to how to deal with a malignant, blood sucking narcissist. Go silent, no contact if possible, eliminate them from your life, but be quiet about it and enjoy the peace that it brings.
😌😌🙌
Silence is powerful, and the people who know the situation and who matter will come to know exactly why you're not there. Stay strong, and know it's the greatest thing you can do for yourself. ❤
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His new supply actually said to him “ your wife is nothing like I thought.” I heard that over the phone when he came over first & last time. When I questioned the narc, “ I heard what he said, what did he mean and why did you laugh??” The chapter was closed that fatal evening giving me more resolve,
that my ex had been speaking trash about me on social media. Three days from that day I told him to pack. After 24 yrs this is what the narc had to
do on social media. He actually stays FAR from me,he’s totally paranoid about the info I have from his phone. He would not want me w supply to find out
RIGHT? He went way to far this time. I’m strong not a victim & have resolve to walk into my new life. I’m released from the lower side of life.
😌🙏💪💯
When my narc packed, she thought I was going to text and call her nonstop, year and a half later she got silence, her brain must be like scrambled eggs 😂
😉💯🤫🤫
Great video Andrew . After being discarded I unintentionally went silent. I just left everything even my job turned off my phone for 3 months and kept to myself. I was very hurt and a part of me knew that he was a horrible person and that I could do better. I was often tempted to look at his social media but I knew seeing him with his new supply would hurt me more. I decided to just keep moving forward and never look back, I ignored everything from the narcissist and I'm ok it's a tough journey but it's very worth it. I'm still working on myself and taking every opportunity to better myself. Thank you Andrew for the video and thank you everyone for your kind words. Stay strong everyone.
❤❤❤Hi Carlos!!!❤😊
@@katyams Hello !
Today is my birthday.. no one wished me happy birthday. Only my mother. My family didn’t care at all, never did. But being silent is a blessing, knowing that God is by my side.
Happy birthday 🎂😊😇
If you expose a narcissist for the fake person they are you will become their number one enemy. Good advice and video, thank you Andrew.👍🙂
Welcome 😌🙏💯
In my case silence was necessary. I lived with the ex narc in his home, and even though I contributed financially it was always "his" home. He seemed to think this gave him the right to tell me how to do everything. Everything was his way. If you bucked his system, you'd get rage. Fists through the wall, dishes and food thrown, yelling, etc. He'd also scream "call 911, call 911". Sometimes he did, and it was always embarrassing. I learned to keep my mouth shut. I tolerated this for years. My parents were gone, my siblings all struggling to survive, and my daughter newly married. I had no one to help me, and nowhere to go. I was stuck. Luckily as time went by I was able to leave. I had to do a stint in a domestic violence shelter for a few months, but moved on from that. Even now I'm reluctant to discuss that episode in my life with strangers or family. I mention it here because I know there's understanding here. Thank you all for that too.
It is very important for healing to have someone hear your "whole" story and experience. Many support groups out there or a "life coach" or therapist. Free services are available almost everywhere. Blessings to you! Sending you positive energy and prayers to experience deep healing. Namaste 💞
@@lourdesecheverria6209Thank you!
Welcome 💯🙏😌🙌
@Hatbox948 Amazing you left, well done! That must have taken HUGE strength. 🌸🌸
@@Betulaaah Thank you!
It takes so much to go no contact, not least because the abuse leaves so many un answered questions, ones that you chase after the answers for. But yes eventually you figure it out, and think that's it no, more contact because the answers wont come and the love wasn't real. You stay silent and strength comes.
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So true Andrew. I wish I had gone silent earlier than I did. If you don't you will pay for it.
Well said.
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Your helping me get through a lot right now
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Andrew in my confused mind I started to keep my silence in the last months before I discarded the toxic narcissist. Nothing in life made him smile or exited. Specifically nature. Creation of the Lord that was entrusted to us by the Lord. Every new Double Hibiscus 🌺 that opened and bloomed. Roses, lilies. Blooming trees. Whales 🐋 playing in the ocean. The beautiful moon phases. Specialy Full moon, a Sunrise, a sunset. The most beautiful things FOR FREE TO ADMIRE was of any interest to him. He thought I was crazy. After the rain I would first thing in the morning check the rain Guage. He just shook his head in unbelievable that such unimportant issues was a highlight, a treasure for me. So I just sat quiet all by myself, outside, watching the sunset or coffee in morning at Sunrise. I me myself, thanking the Lord for a beautiful new day, and watch the Whales playing in the ocean or just enjoyed my beautiful garden where I love to be and plant and appreciate the beauty. Without oooh and ahhh I kept my silence and it was so comforting. Never mentioned WOW dit you see this or that blooming.
Thank you for sharing this 😌🙌💯🙌
Yes such beauty everwhere for free totally agree with you and understand this language of nature sea flowers etc.. Namaste 🙏
Yes, always consider what you text the narcissist or say in a voicemail. They could use it against you for the smear campaign or simply laugh at you as they read it. Don't give them the supply/satisfaction of knowing they upset you. Instead write how you are feeling on paper (or journal) for yourself only to read. That way you get it out of your system.
I got the wisdom, all my ex’s, my mother, sister, brother, uncles and cousin are all narcissists. I’m single, with no family but I’m happy with my two cats Bill and Ginge. Education is key.
I have nothing left but my silence! Thank you, Brother Andrew! 🙏
YOUR AMAZING THANK YOU
Welcome 🙏💯🙌
Andrew is 💯 correct. As usual.
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I so love your head movements 😂😂😂
They keep you in the dark away from truth and if they see you fail in their own view, they enjoy it and thrive on that
just got out of a emotionally manipulative relationship. I will survive.
Learn to RATION your energy , time and love only for those who are worth it as you move on ! 💪🙏❤️
No more feeling like a terrified animal caught in the headlights........No more feeling so terrible helpless and cornered and frightened.....
Hurtful people in the past paralysed me......not anymore for I firmly believe that they will ‘Be’ accountable at the end of the day.....
Yes quiet confident silence is great strength...for I have the wisdom and education and it’s like a garrison around me now,
Great video Andrew and Very Many Thanks 🙏❤️💪
Thank you 💯🙏😌
Your words resonate with me. Thank you. ❤
@@freebird968-wg4yeYou’re welcome….Wishing you much love and peace ❤️
I will be playing this glorious message repeatedly! This is so heaven sent-straight to my heart! I read a book years ago that said if dealing with a narc- run for your life! Great message Andrew! You are so right!!
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Sounds like a good book to read. Do you remember the title or author? Thanks! 🙂
Hi Sue, the book I’m referring to is named “Getting it through my thick skull”! Great title huh? Lol I read this 15 years ago when I first realized the poor/intolerable behavior of my narc! She had kids with him! It’s a great story! Pass it on! Hope you can find it! I sure could relate to her story! I’ve read other books on topic as well! ThankGod for Andrews channel and to thank the good Lord! Keep in touch dear one! 🙏4 U😇
If you MUST have the narc in your life your best defense is to respond - not react. Responding minimally is not gray rock, it's yellow rock (yes, that's a thing). It's respectful and brief. It 'gets you by' in the workplace and makes you boring in a relationship. And that's a safety net while you pass the time. Thank you, Andrew. 🙌
Andrew, yesterday I was discarded but in a sense I’m relieved. During our last call I wished her success and told her I loved her. I still do. But I love myself more than to take the pain that always happens in the trauma cycle. You descriptions I see in my mind. My energy and life force left me with little for my family, dog, job and self. The constant ideas about moving to foreign countries, charities, degrading where I live, Michelin Restaurants, Jewelry, working on her property, wanting me to sell my home and buy a home with her, canceling plans at the last minute and taking off with her friends without a thought about me at all. And for me to fool myself that my idea of what we could be would be. So I chose to love just love and support. And in the end (the 15th end) it’s never finished.
So today I blocked her, like I’ve down before. She’s turned her back on me. I have to walk away. No flying Monkeys around which is good. I had made her my life. So now I have to recover. I’m going to take a long walk. Thank you for assisting me here.
Welcome 😌🙌😌💪💯
When you go silence expect them to elevate the game and on every new level new devil silence is your power and move in silent and do not share your information have boundaries
Yes! Silence is strength! Sometimes we feel the need to tell it like it is to validate ourselves. You cannot do that with a narcissist. You will throw yourself into their space of manipulation and frustration. They need it like a drug. Don’t give it to them....☮️🕉
Yes our silence speaks volumes 💯
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Thank you, for this teaching to say nothing and the value there it brings not to involve yourself in futile.
Welcome 🤫🤫🙌💯
I've finally gained the strength to go completely no contact with the narc. A few weeks ago we spoke and things seemed ok. He lives in a dangerous neighbourhood so I worry about him. While on the call it cut and he had been speaking to someone on the street. I tried calling him again and again and he did not answer. Spent the entire night trying to get a hold of him. Eventually called the police to check on him in the early hours of the morning. He sent me a message saying he was fine, he met some friends and got busy and had an early night. I cried with relief but I was so mad that he didnt think that he had worried people for no reason and he didnt apologise or think he did anything wrong. Ive just not called him back. He tried to call me a few times and i didnt take the calls. Im so done with him and his messed up behaviour which is all for attention. Even his friends say he does this for attention. Being silent is the only way I can care for myself and it is what he deserves.
Thank you for sharing 💯🙏😌
Great video Andrew!
When dealing with a narcissist silence will always keep you moving forward.
Wishing everyone clarity and peace.
Thank you 😌🙌🙏💯
I’ve never been one to fight or argue with anyone the narcissist will push your buttons stay quiet stood up to the ex once never did it again HUGE mistake so please stay quiet 🙏💕
The confidence is strengthening in this community. Strong messages from you no doubt causing much positive 💪. Thank you again for all you do ❤🙏💪
Welcome 😌🙏❤️
❤❤❤🦋🌹🦋❤️❤️❤️
Great video Andrew 👌
Thank you 😌🙏🙌
Silence is powerful thank you Andrew ❤working on staying focused
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I have addressed issues and they gaslight like; “you’re too sensitive”. I remember going gray rock in the past. My narcissist sister put my baby doll in bassinet with hair chopped off and put it on my doorstep. WTH! Put gifts on my outside door knob. Narcissist dad pounded my walls with a hammer trying to get me to answer my door. He also banged repeatedly extremely loudly on my front door. Narcissist mom called relatives, told her friends, hairdresser, and family loads of gossip about me. Trying to ruin my reputation while I go gray rock. My parents are dead now. Thank God!
We don’t want to give them supply and they will come back in a huge roar!!
I totally agree. Our silence is our strength. Silence speaks louder than words. It is the language in which God speaks.
Silence is the absolute super power❤ thank you Andrew❤ you are the be best❤
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Rewarded myself with an amazing deep tissue massage at a locally own and ran massage spa for not having contact with narc. I have temptations to but I didn't so I get a relaxing treat!🥰
😇😉😍
BRAVA!!
Spent plenty of nights sleeping with my clothes on. Keys and wallet. Ready to roll. No more walking on eggshells and eating glass. Silence accomplished this. I'm still learning . Your information in invaluable to me. Just about every description you give ,I've experienced.
I can relate
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Every video I watch I learn something new . It’s important to stay true to yourself . Don’t react and be calm I was reacting for so long to the nonsense .
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I put up with it for 4 months an boy did i learn a big lesson..ty Andrew for all of your advice ! Omg!❤
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Jeg har også flyttet mig for disse mennesker og ha en vidunderlig dag Andrew 🙂👍
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Yes ,because if time pass, its too late, check mate, hm thats what they want, one thing sir you dont know is feeling of motherly love and how is driving me crazy
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Yes. My new motto: I no longer accommodate assholes.
Silence is the loudest voice. Silence can scream and she hurts. Remember when you were in the receiving end? Karma pays and can channel you when you’ve decided to take it the bat down. They implode tbh - can’t fathom it out and it drives them nuts. Be tge silent assassin people and live a better, more peaceful and resilient life 💕
Thank you
Welcome 😌🙏😊
Thank you so much Andrew! Keeping oneself from a "low-vibrational" state is hard...the high-road takes self-discipline, and as time passes by, it turns out to be the best choice.
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
So true. You named them correctly . I took the high road & just gracefully bowed down in silence . Well I did say I love you ❤ I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. I’m Done !
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Yes! We are all definitely Super heroes.,thank you Andrew ❤🙏
Welcome 😊❤️🙏
I saw the ageing narcissist video. Both enlightening and some bits quite funny. Provided an additional perspective. My silence skills are top notch now. So thankyou. Quiet observation of others behaviour is key. In any case, l am staying well away from these people. And if l need to collect items from their house, l will outsource someone (removalist) to do that.
True warrior & lightworker working on behalf of The Divine, God Bless you Andrew 🙏🦋👑🫶
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I needed this message today. Haven’t seen him in a week, stoped talking only a couple days ago. I have to work with him tomorrow
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Thank you Andrew. Nameste 🙏
Namaste 😌🙌🙏
This is a very important message for everyone!
I just had a conversation about it here yesterday.
Thank you ❤️
Welcome 😇😊💯
Yes!!!🥰
@@gina1280 ❤️😊
Pure gold!🪙🥇💰🌟
☀️😍😇
Narc free!!!
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So true… anytime I tried to call them out or retaliate, it took me 3 days to recover. Silence, hold your tongue, and don’t play.
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Yes Andrew Silence is Golden❤❤❤👍💪🙌👏
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Hi Andrew, you are so right about using silence to help break the cycle of abuse. I've been doing this and it's giving him less opportunities to pull me into the drama. Hardest part is not calling him out when he has suddenly wanted to spend quality time with our son after not bothering to do this for years. They know what hurts you the most. If I react I know it will make things worse. Once he attaches to his next victim he will shift his focus away again. Silence and patience are what I need to utilise in these early days after separation. Great topic and examples, so grateful for this channel right now x😊❤
The fact that you are with us on your beautiful channel with your beautiful words shows that you are already blessed my God, thank you and we will still wish for you the blessings of God))))))))
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Brilliant video, this really resonates with my situation at the moment, really appreciate the reminder why I'm maintaining my silence, thank you 😊🙏
I thought it was Brilliant too.
Welcome 🙌🤫🤫💯
@@jhavajoe3792 me too 🥰
After the first discard I disappeared from mutual friends and social media. I did not want to add any more negativity to the world. Did respond to the first three Hoover’s until I realized the sick narc game he was playing. Then it was total no-contact. It’s been over a year now and I have this channel and others to thank for helping me stay strong. Meditation and mental discipline help with the ruminating. Keep going newbies! Tend to your inner life like it’s a sacred garden. Plant beautiful seed-thoughts. They will blossom!
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Thanks to you , I learned to stay silent and in return I became a true lady who will stay classy ❤
Thank you Andrew
Thank you 🙏
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
Silence is golden. Thank you.
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I did not even know narcissists was a thing or they existed never heard of them before ever until TH-cam and my brain🤯 but i am free and thanks to y'all! God bless.. 💃🥳👏👏
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Yes the only language they understand is Silence! When words don't work no more.
I can't fuel them anymore with positive or getting stress with them, aka giving them negative energy, but Silence is very hard to hold, especially when they live sooo close to you .
But I Still will hold it until the demon fades away and I reappear back to Me!!!
Hard work definitely!
Thank You Very Much
Andrew❤🙏
Welcome 💯🙏❤️
Silence sometimes is the only way ..my instinct guided me that way..i was in survival mode all the time ...not to tell that i was afraid of my life
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Silence works + sharing your valuable insight. I never blocked them just ignored. 3 months later+ they appear to have blocked me. It is wonderful not seeing them! Thank you, Andrew.
Welcome 💪🙏🙌
The silence keeps everyone wondering. Every time you open your mouth you give away the answers as to "what is she thinking?" ...make them guess. I can almost guaranty they will get it wrong every time. My husband did.
YOUR Silence is Survival in the Narcissist Arena of BATTLE.....Plan...Prepare....then Execute.....(the Plan not the Narc...lol)
I am in the Prepare Phase but know and will execute plan...I am mentally separated for now.....
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