He should take notes on Jack's. Great frozen pizza history. I remember Jack's when it was a local brand in Wisconsin before Big Pizza took it over. It's still a good pizza but back then, it was loaded with fresh cheese and sausage and yet amazingly affordable. Now it's similar to so many other cheap pizzas.
@@brylo4 totally agree. You would have to be a meth head to even think a frozen pizza can rank higher than a 5.5. All frozen pizza tastes like cardboard. To say this is higher than all the 9.4s and 9.3s he has done at established long lasting pizza joints is insulting to them.
I take it you're not familiar with Portnoy's humor. Even after he emphasized his association and disassociation several times the irony was still lost.
I've already gone through about 4 of the One Bite frozen pizzas. You gotta cook at 450, not 425. 425 = flop, and if you cook at 425 long enough to make it crispy, the cheese burns (like how it is in this video). 450 fixes both problems. Update the box instructions Dave
I know right... the best pizza restaurants on the planet get maybe a 9.2 at best, and he gives this frozen trash a 9.8. What bullshit. His channel just went down a few notches after watching this
@@mikerzisu9508 he's said multiple times that frozen pizza products are on a totally different scale. 9.8 is obviously still too high, but all the frozen pizza rankings should be viewed separate from real pizza and relative only to pizzas in that category. Just like philly cheese steaks or Italian ice have their own scale. I am open to rebuttals, if anyone is so inclined to formulate one, I will respect your opinion. Peace.
Bought a pepperoni the other day literally tasted like nothing in my mouth… super disappointed honestly and I didn’t even have high hopes when I bought it
I had one of Dave's pizzas..best crust i've ever had on a frozen. Sauce was lacking in quantity and taste, i'll just put a bit more sauce on it next time. I'd give it a 7.5. Thats a review.
@@eternalbeing3339 I smoked a blunt two weeks ago and went to McDonalds and ordered 2 regular cheeseburgers with extra lettuce and mac sauce and they were some of the best things I've ate in my entire life. Went back and got the same thing while not high 4 days ago and they were a 3.5/10 at best.
I tried the One Bite pizza last night. A 4.2 at best. I'd work on putting more flavor in the crust and sauce. There was a slight frostbite flavor, but I assumed that was due to Walmart, and tried to not let it influence my score.
I just tried the three meat one bite pizza for lunch today and it's pretty good. Better than most frozen pizzas I've had. Actually does have a nice crunch to it. Sauce and cheese was a tad on the skimpy side but other than that it was a solid pizza. Probably give it a 7.5
Sauce and cheese next to non existent and flavorless. Crust was unique and pretty damn good, though. I hope he keeps working on the recipe. If he has to raise the price $1-2, so be it.
Like how Dave tries to drown out the sound of the crust when cutting his pizza so we can hear him. Ive had the one bite pizza and it nearly blew my ear drums when cutting it
Dave basically reviews a high score where ever there is a buck to be made. Now is that 9.8 score just on the frozen pizza game? Because that I could believe. But if he's saying that's a 9.8 compared to all pizza, come on dude. 😂
@@johnmurdock4704 I'm a new subscribe to his channel. No need for name calling. I've obviously missed a lot. But I'm from a place surrounded by pizza joints. I have yet to try his One Bite pizza but will infact pick it up next time I stop through my local Walmart. 👍
I go to Walmart once or twice a year, for Mobil-One oil. Hate even supporting that company but Mobil-One is a bargain there. I went to the other side of the store looking for One Bite frozen pizza. No sign of it; a lot of tough competition in Chicago area, maybe next year.
The best pizza restaurants on the planet get maybe a 9.2 at best, and he gives this frozen trash a 9.8. What bullshit. That is just straight up lying to his fanbase, there is no way that was a 9.8 on his ridiculous scoring system
Prez: my scores are unbiased, you can't buy me off Also prez: This guy's going to get a higher score because he has a nice family and they're watching me right now from behind
Perfect timing as my girl came home tonight with 2 one bite pizzas. I've heard mixed reviews on it. I will say , and I'm not getting paid for my comment, but it was a solid pizza one of the better frozen pizzas that I've had. If I had to score it, I'd say it is a solid 7.6.
The One Bite Pizza taste like TRASH! You can see he's holding it up with 2 hands to avoid the flop and he has to add sound effects to make the crunch!! Not recommended!!
I don’t care for their rolls but their square pizza brings back good memories every time I try it. The little cubes pepperonis. And I always make it in the microwave. It doesn’t even have microwave instructions lol. It’s called the party pizza if you ever want to try it
Honesr review: Totinos isnt the greatest but has way more flavor than most. One bite: Flavorless, tastes like cardboard. Jacks is honestly better than one bite
Every Pizza Shop That got a low Score Should get a class action Lawsuit Together.How do you know if the pizza Shops that got great scores did not pay the slime ball off
@@trumpdid9116 we just want to watch pizza man, we don't want your weird obsession with politics to ruin every video. Go back to some gamer video please
Redeems himself from lying on a pizza review, then makes fake crunch sounds when he reviews his own frozen pizza, with a score that's higher than all but 1 pizza review he's ever done. Adderall is a hell of a drug.
The thing, is they think everyone is stupid and does not hear the crunch sound effect, added in afterwards in editing. When the pizza actually looks soft as a marshmallow with no crunch, you have to make it black to have any crunch for oven pizza.
One self proclaimed 9.8 pizza everyone knows Jacks is producing all his pizzas on the low...
Lol
lolololol
Not even close. Two different playing fields my man, but thanks for making it known you're nothing but a hater 😂
He should take notes on Jack's. Great frozen pizza history. I remember Jack's when it was a local brand in Wisconsin before Big Pizza took it over. It's still a good pizza but back then, it was loaded with fresh cheese and sausage and yet amazingly affordable. Now it's similar to so many other cheap pizzas.
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT
Would love to see Dave do a blind taste test of frozen pizzas to see if he can even distinguish his own pizza
This is fucking genius.
Blind taste test between his pizza and a Jacks pizza
Same!
Between all the frozen pizzas.
I tried the one bite Pizza the other day cooked it to perfection it was okay I'd give it a 5.8 at best.
For regular pizza it’s a 5.2 but for frozen pizza it’s a 8.9
For the sake of reference, how would you rate Digorno?
Barely touched a 5, imo. Sadly 😢😢
@@ziggxter4634 I hope you capping about returning the box because if you aren’t retail store employees really hate you
@@ziggxter4634 you sound fun
Godzilla makes less racket walking through a populated city than Dave does biting into his own pizza
Godzilla just had a stroke and fucking died
It's amazing how every bite sounds exactly the same. Consistency, everybody knows the rules.
It sounds like Frankie eating a pita chip into the mic
Sound design is a beautiful thing especially when trying to convince people this crap was actually a 9.8 🤣
So clearly fake asmr
Frankie is a fucking sellout now.
@@brylo4 totally agree. You would have to be a meth head to even think a frozen pizza can rank higher than a 5.5. All frozen pizza tastes like cardboard. To say this is higher than all the 9.4s and 9.3s he has done at established long lasting pizza joints is insulting to them.
Gave Totino a 10 when he was bought. Gave his own One Bite big pizza co-packer frozen pizza a 10. This man is dripping integrity.
Down to a 9.8. Quality is slipping on his own brand!
I take it you're not familiar with Portnoy's humor. Even after he emphasized his association and disassociation several times the irony was still lost.
LMAO absolute moron here 😂😂
Those fake bite sounds tho on his own pizza.
And cutting noises lol its satire
Where?! Yo those cuts and bites were legit!!! I heard while I was outside like, "oh portnoy eating pizza again"
So fkn funny haha
What do you mean fake ? If you've tried this pizza then you know that crunch is real.
right????? SUPER CRUNCH lol
You can’t change the score Dave. Totino’s remains a 10 in the books!!! 🤣
There the legendary 1 am stoner snack and those are the rules my friend!
...everyone knows the rules...
Dave's fake reviews wasn't the only thing keeping him up at night.
Everybody knows the rules!!!!! Lol
Lmao
High as a kite. Good for him. Pizza eh?! Not so much.
He ain’t from Boston.
Haha. Cocaine.
His addy abuse knows no bounds.
I'm starting to think he's not giving a fair score on his own pizza 🤔😂
Noooooo!
Where’d you get that idea!
No shit sherlock
i tried it. its the same as every other frozen pizza youeve ever eaten in your life
@@vincentsantangelo3920 whats the score you gave it chief?
@@theForrestGalantey I don't rate my food on a scale
@@vincentsantangelo3920 lame ahh nogga
One 4.9, everybody knows Dave's salty after totinos didn't renew the contract
...as he should be! Imagine getting smoked by some Leftards at General Mills?
Lmao 🤣😂
monkeygraborange drag them
No disrespect
I've already gone through about 4 of the One Bite frozen pizzas. You gotta cook at 450, not 425. 425 = flop, and if you cook at 425 long enough to make it crispy, the cheese burns (like how it is in this video). 450 fixes both problems. Update the box instructions Dave
Hilarious sound effects while cutting. And the bites…completely playing with us. 😂😂
That was all real
@@teddyholiday8038 real as it gets
Fake as hell
sound effects?
@@Ruuku1 yes
4:50 Dave trying his hardest to conceal the flop, everybody knows the rules…
Yep
Dudes breaking his wrist trying to keep that thing from imploding like a dying star
And the flop is there! Disappointing. I hope he keeps working on the recipe. The crust is legit!
9.8 now I can sleep at night, knowing he gave it a fair score. TO WALMART I GO.
Hope you bought a jar of sauce to dip it in; the pizza itself is drier than cottonmouth.
pretty amazing to have that level of crunch with more flop than an early 90’s Bills Super Bowl team.
Not sleeping at night everybody knows it's the coke
Cardboard Pizza gets 9.8 but "honesty" and "integrity" are his watchwords...
Satire bud
I know right... the best pizza restaurants on the planet get maybe a 9.2 at best, and he gives this frozen trash a 9.8. What bullshit. His channel just went down a few notches after watching this
Dude what part of frozen pizza don’t you comprehend it’s for frozen pizza
@@mikerzisu9508 he's said multiple times that frozen pizza products are on a totally different scale. 9.8 is obviously still too high, but all the frozen pizza rankings should be viewed separate from real pizza and relative only to pizzas in that category. Just like philly cheese steaks or Italian ice have their own scale. I am open to rebuttals, if anyone is so inclined to formulate one, I will respect your opinion. Peace.
The entire thing was a skit... for his pizza. C'mon man.. You knew it was staged.
If that’s a 9.8 then my freezer burnt pizza pops I have are a 9.7
Your pizza pops are Big Pizza
The one bite is a 44, I bought two, they both sucked, they're one bite alright, you take one bite and give the rest to the dog. .
Bought a pepperoni the other day literally tasted like nothing in my mouth… super disappointed honestly and I didn’t even have high hopes when I bought it
@@travisk3593 yup, exactly. Was a gimmick to make money.
My dog didn’t even want that spongy crust
@@danswanson5058 lol
@@travisk3593 100%. No seasoning, no flavor, no nothing. The crust was actually pretty solid, though. Airy and had some crunch, despite the flop.
One pizza roll review at home, Dave still doesn't know where he is.
Lmao 🤣😂
I've been watching some of these videos. Is this a satirical channel? What is the point?
@@mihirengg19 No that’s the funny thing he is 100% serious
@@christian-lh4un does he even know anything about food tondo serious reviews, which I don't find serious at all?
That crunch on the one bite pizza... unbelievable!!!!
One sellout, everybody knows he needed the extra cash for more coke lines.
I don't think a 4.9 is selling out.
4.8 is pretty accurate though for the pizza rolls. They kinda suck unless you're drunk and don't give a shit.
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain
You actually said 4.9 but that makes better sense. Yours was a 9.8, doubled them up.
Crunch sounds are hilarious.
I had one of Dave's pizzas..best crust i've ever had on a frozen. Sauce was lacking in quantity and taste, i'll just put a bit more sauce on it next time. I'd give it a 7.5. Thats a review.
How do u put mOre sauce on it?
How did this turn in to a one bite pizza review 😂
4:58 "...fair, unbalanced review."
Yeah that sounds about right Portnoy.
One cameraman chained to the radiator in Prez's apartment, everyone knows the rules
Underrated comment 😂😂
I'm convinced... He even redid the Totinos to prove it was a real score for his pizza.
Everybody knows One Bite pizza is just Jack’s in a One Bite box!
That true?
Is it really?
actually jacks tastes better im eating one now
It’s not true. Jack’s is way better lol. Truly.
I love how you add the crunchy sound to your pizza! Lol. So funny! 😂😂
Smoke a J and eat pizza rolls, everyone knows that shits a 10
Lol 😂 hell ya
Smoke a j and everything becomes a 10
Im about to air fry sum of those right now
@@eternalbeing3339 I smoked a blunt two weeks ago and went to McDonalds and ordered 2 regular cheeseburgers with extra lettuce and mac sauce and they were some of the best things I've ate in my entire life. Went back and got the same thing while not high 4 days ago and they were a 3.5/10 at best.
They aren’t rolls anymore they are just mini bites. The company made them smaller.
Totinnos is a 10 every time everybody knows the rules
Totinos pizza has saved many dinners for my family for years and years
His integrity comes in the form of Benjamin's.
I tried the One Bite pizza last night. A 4.2 at best. I'd work on putting more flavor in the crust and sauce. There was a slight frostbite flavor, but I assumed that was due to Walmart, and tried to not let it influence my score.
I just tried the three meat one bite pizza for lunch today and it's pretty good. Better than most frozen pizzas I've had. Actually does have a nice crunch to it. Sauce and cheese was a tad on the skimpy side but other than that it was a solid pizza. Probably give it a 7.5
Sauce and cheese next to non existent and flavorless. Crust was unique and pretty damn good, though. I hope he keeps working on the recipe. If he has to raise the price $1-2, so be it.
@@chexcollects I bought another one later on and the sauce was better. Cheese was still light tho. Sauce has flavor but it's subtle
SSoooooo, he admits that he took the money & lied to us and now, his own pizza, sold through Walmart, rates a 9.8. Ok, I can trust that.
I’m ready for someone to secretly serve him his own pizza at a shop so he can give in a 5.7😅
"No money" 3 min later "Go buy it" Lying about pizza for money. Thats your thing. Glad random youtube took me here , funny af.
It is as hilarious as it is fucking tragic.
One bite, everybody knows the reviews are always "fair and unbalanced"
a little totino's-related ptsd, everybody knows those pizza rolls STINK.
“Fair, unbalanced, that’s a review.” -Dave Portnoy
Moral of the story. If he's getting paid. It's a 10. Legend !
Like how Dave tries to drown out the sound of the crust when cutting his pizza so we can hear him. Ive had the one bite pizza and it nearly blew my ear drums when cutting it
Dave basically reviews a high score where ever there is a buck to be made. Now is that 9.8 score just on the frozen pizza game? Because that I could believe. But if he's saying that's a 9.8 compared to all pizza, come on dude. 😂
Are you actually thinking this isnt a giant troll on idiots like you? hahahaha Its a 9.8, and that's an honest review
Totino's is a running gag for Dave because they sponsor(ed?) him, so their reviews aren't meant to be taken seriously.
@@johnmurdock4704 I'm a new subscribe to his channel. No need for name calling. I've obviously missed a lot. But I'm from a place surrounded by pizza joints. I have yet to try his One Bite pizza but will infact pick it up next time I stop through my local Walmart. 👍
you dont get Dave
@@thesportsguy126 I do now, that was a rookie comment from 7 months ago. 😊
Would've been hilarious if he acted like he was gonna take bite of his pizza then said "10"
the One Bite frozen pizza is absolutely terrible. it's a 3.2, and that's being generous.
Didn't he give his pizza a ten like two times already? Integrity? lol
they probably paid him even more to do this review
"Smoke comin' off"...everybody knows Dave doesn't know what steam is.
Well, it did look kinda burnt 😂
I actually don't hate Totinos pizza rolls.
I go to Walmart once or twice a year, for Mobil-One oil. Hate even supporting that company but Mobil-One is a bargain there. I went to the other side of the store looking for One Bite frozen pizza. No sign of it; a lot of tough competition in Chicago area, maybe next year.
The best pizza restaurants on the planet get maybe a 9.2 at best, and he gives this frozen trash a 9.8. What bullshit. That is just straight up lying to his fanbase, there is no way that was a 9.8 on his ridiculous scoring system
Dave's pizza gets better every week, so he needs to go above a 10, everybody knows the rules
i don't know why but when he tossed the pizza roll box across the room i laughed pretty hard
Prez: my scores are unbiased, you can't buy me off
Also prez: This guy's going to get a higher score because he has a nice family and they're watching me right now from behind
Totinos got on Dave's hit list. pray for them
"Fair and unbalanced" should be the new tag line for One Bite pizza reviews. 4:58
“Fair,unbalanced, that’s a review..”
I don't think he likes his own pizza. Watch at 4:21 his face tells the whole story. It's ok keep up the reviews prez
Lmao! 😂 i think your right his face said omg this is horrible but I gotta lie and say it’s good 😂
I don't believe he had any input into the creation of it. Jacks probably just approached him and asked if he wanted to do a branding deal.
I had a One Bite pizza, it was a 9.7 tops… but I might not have cooked it long enough. 🤷🏻♂️
Perfect timing as my girl came home tonight with 2 one bite pizzas. I've heard mixed reviews on it. I will say , and I'm not getting paid for my comment, but it was a solid pizza one of the better frozen pizzas that I've had. If I had to score it, I'd say it is a solid 7.6.
One "conflict of interest" 9.8, everybody knows the rules.
"Fair and Unbiased."
- Every biased person, ever. Probably.
He gave bagel bites a higher score than pizza rolls. That is a hate crime!
Dave cleansing his soul! Hope the hair plugs grow back!
My dog after eating a Tostinos said it took 2 years off his life so we’re giving tostinos -6 cause I love my dog
One oven Dave has had a year to figure out and still hasn't, everyone knows the rules.
I love the crunch noise they add in, this guy is pretty funny.
For the price and legacy, Totino's > One Bite Pizza
For you need something to hold you to a meal. Or when you hungry , drunk from the bars
One self promo, everyone knows it was coming
9.8 is a little underrated but fair enough best frozen pizza on this planet !
The crunch is non-existent and had to be edited in, everybody knows the rules.
That sound!!!! The sound of Dave offsetting his crypto losses.
Ain't gonna lie, Dave's frozen pizza is pretty damn good.
I'm at a loss for words...
Is it always frozen crap pizza?
I told Dave a million times never to exaggerate, I might buy his pizza again if he puts a better sauce and more of it on his pies
Agreed. There was a lack of sauce
You should have a professional chef coal fire your Barstool Frozen Pizza® and do a review.
I have had it......9.8 is fair
The One Bite Pizza taste like TRASH! You can see he's holding it up with 2 hands to avoid the flop and he has to add sound effects to make the crunch!! Not recommended!!
I don’t care for their rolls but their square pizza brings back good memories every time I try it. The little cubes pepperonis. And I always make it in the microwave. It doesn’t even have microwave instructions lol. It’s called the party pizza if you ever want to try it
Gotta put extra cheese on it and bake it in a toaster oven!!!!
Hey, at least it's not another 7 for the hundredth time in a row...
“3 bites. Everyone knows the rules.”
Honesr review: Totinos isnt the greatest but has way more flavor than most.
One bite: Flavorless, tastes like cardboard. Jacks is honestly better than one bite
All you gotta do with Jacks is cook it longer and it's thin, crispy, great stuff!
@@Redvinetv add extra cheese to makes it 1000% times better imo
@@cullinbulanda6591 I add garlic powder, extra pepperoni, fresh cracked course black pepper and Italian seasonings to mine.
@@Redvinetv imo, the seasonings are essential if you’re gonna make frozen pizza.
I like the crunch added sound effects
Totino’s is always a 10.
Every Pizza Shop That got a low Score Should get a class action Lawsuit Together.How do you know if the pizza Shops that got great scores did not pay the slime ball off
Let's go Brandon!
Oh geez it's a political refuge from the weird side of youtube 🤮
@@ANTIStraussian Brandon 2024! Censor the rest YASS!!!
@@trumpdid9116 we just want to watch pizza man, we don't want your weird obsession with politics to ruin every video. Go back to some gamer video please
Sound effects are much improved. Nice work!
"This cheese looks really processed" Yes dave... all cheese is processed... everybody knows youre slow.
at least he didn't say "the only thing that matters is the money"
these are getting old now prez.
Gotta burn my ex-employers face off and give a bias review to my own pizza where every bite sounds just as crispy.🤣😂
everybody knows the rules.
Redeems himself from lying on a pizza review,
then makes fake crunch sounds when he reviews his own frozen pizza,
with a score that's higher than all but 1 pizza review he's ever done.
Adderall is a hell of a drug.
You do understand satire don’t you bro?
The thing, is they think everyone is stupid and does not hear the crunch sound effect, added in afterwards in editing. When the pizza actually looks soft as a marshmallow with no crunch, you have to make it black to have any crunch for oven pizza.
First Frankie
Rumor is that Jack's is actually making the pies for El Prez.
That would be a hilarious “scandal”.