I understand, the "noise" but parents still need to be careful not to MISS the moments kids DO NEED connection. If parents come off too strong and not educated on kids behavior tendencies with ADHD, parents resort to yelling and a more authoritative parenting style. Parents need to check themselves to ensure they are balanced parenting....then kids will feel heard. Discipline, structure, and avoiding the pitfalls of noise......parents can learn here. Once I stopped yelling, my child's emotional vulnerability became much stronger. Her spirit wasn't being crushed. There's a fine line I believe. Your podcasts are a Godsend and much appreciated...so very helpful and needed right now. I'm glad my child with ADHD is growing up in this day and age and not 10 years ago, even 5.
I make the presumption that most parents are connected with their kids. I think there's a whole industry right now of people telling parents they're "losing connection" or "not connecting enough". It taps into mom guilt for the sake of profit. I agree with everything and you can be connected to kids without responding to noise.
I should add that when he isn’t having outbursts , he is extremely loving and caring and keen to please. He craves physical contact from my husband but is constantly in conflict either one of his siblings particularly.
wow gr8 insight , you addressed very basic and important issues which every parent is going through, thanks for your valuable suggestion ... hatts of ...
I'd like to add a suggestion into the mix. Thanks for your advice and content, I've been following you for some time and i appreciate your insights and approach. I suspect my 6 year old son has ADHD. Having been diagnosed myself, I agree we should strive to do non-preferred tasks. But it can be very difficult - for this reason, i like to use a modified approach. Instead of just demanding that my son does things because i say so, I tell him about the bigger picture of how we're a family and everyone had a role to play. I say that we sometimes need to do things when we'd rather not. I encourage him to see the things we do for each other and that it's a part of being nice and kind (that's when it comes to chores or being part of social engagements). I also taught him a trick that if he doesn't want to do something because it's boring, he has to find a way to make it fun. It then becomes a challenge and uses his big creativity. E.g. he pretends that a maths worksheet is a computer game and each exercise is a "level"and he makes up elaborate stories of what's happening. In general, I try to look for positive spins instead of using demands, threats or punishment. I also include him in conversations that are more grown-up and it gives him more "stake" in the family life and it naturally guides him in making better decisions.
When my son is doing homework and doesn't want to, i try to tell him, "When you want to do something the least - that's when you do it the most. Jump in, and let's knock it out." Now I'm not entirely sure if that's the right thing?
Thank you for this - it’s so helpful. Our son is ten and definitely uses noise to confuse and panic us into trying to get his own way. Could you advise us on what to do as we have six kids- one of whom autistic and is extremely sensitive to noise . We live in a small house so thee is no escape from the noise of his outbursts. We try to be firm and insist on him doing what we have asked of him but it’s so hard on our other kids , especially our daughter who finds noise painful. Our other kids are finding it so distressing aswell and it feels like his outbursts and loud overreactions are holding our whole family to ransom. We are at breaking point as a family. Any advice would be greatly appreciated .
I cover this in the Creating Daily Expectations Course. th-cam.com/video/5_c_E_i6O_E/w-d-xo.htmlsi=Auf5ym-Bh3YWnWd9 th-cam.com/video/KdlPuZ9b4f0/w-d-xo.htmlsi=RqkqhrxJjWbb0M_p
When I say to my child... Take ur tym to calm down n come to me ven u r ready...he tells me...I will also not talk to you. Go to a different room and sit. For hours. Then eventually only have to go and give reaction to him. By being angry or punishment. How to deal with such a situation.
my son has always been a noise maker & I've vaways joined in with him during the noise makingm by mimicking the same noise, & that many timesm results in the 2 od us laughing in hysterics together as my noises quite often are flubbs, Haha,
I understand, the "noise" but parents still need to be careful not to MISS the moments kids DO NEED connection. If parents come off too strong and not educated on kids behavior tendencies with ADHD, parents resort to yelling and a more authoritative parenting style. Parents need to check themselves to ensure they are balanced parenting....then kids will feel heard. Discipline, structure, and avoiding the pitfalls of noise......parents can learn here. Once I stopped yelling, my child's emotional vulnerability became much stronger. Her spirit wasn't being crushed. There's a fine line I believe.
Your podcasts are a Godsend and much appreciated...so very helpful and needed right now. I'm glad my child with ADHD is growing up in this day and age and not 10 years ago, even 5.
I make the presumption that most parents are connected with their kids. I think there's a whole industry right now of people telling parents they're "losing connection" or "not connecting enough". It taps into mom guilt for the sake of profit. I agree with everything and you can be connected to kids without responding to noise.
I want to continue to say THANK YOU!!! 🙏Id have been lost had I not found your videos.
Thank you!
I should add that when he isn’t having outbursts , he is extremely loving and caring and keen to please. He craves physical contact from my husband but is constantly in conflict either one of his siblings particularly.
I cover how to deal with outburts and the sibling conflict part in Scaffolding Better Behavior.
wow gr8 insight , you addressed very basic and important issues which every parent is going through, thanks for your valuable suggestion ... hatts of ...
thank you so much for watching
I'd like to add a suggestion into the mix.
Thanks for your advice and content, I've been following you for some time and i appreciate your insights and approach.
I suspect my 6 year old son has ADHD. Having been diagnosed myself, I agree we should strive to do non-preferred tasks. But it can be very difficult - for this reason, i like to use a modified approach. Instead of just demanding that my son does things because i say so, I tell him about the bigger picture of how we're a family and everyone had a role to play. I say that we sometimes need to do things when we'd rather not. I encourage him to see the things we do for each other and that it's a part of being nice and kind (that's when it comes to chores or being part of social engagements). I also taught him a trick that if he doesn't want to do something because it's boring, he has to find a way to make it fun. It then becomes a challenge and uses his big creativity. E.g. he pretends that a maths worksheet is a computer game and each exercise is a "level"and he makes up elaborate stories of what's happening.
In general, I try to look for positive spins instead of using demands, threats or punishment. I also include him in conversations that are more grown-up and it gives him more "stake" in the family life and it naturally guides him in making better decisions.
All of this is exactly what I teach in my membership site. :)
These are the best!
Thank you!
Great talk, I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
You are so welcome
Wow I needed this years ago. At least I have it now :). Thank you.
You bet!
When my son is doing homework and doesn't want to, i try to tell him, "When you want to do something the least - that's when you do it the most. Jump in, and let's knock it out."
Now I'm not entirely sure if that's the right thing?
I dont think there's a right or wrong answer, if that works, keep doing what you're doing.
These videos are solid gold thank you
Thank you so much!
Thank you for this - it’s so helpful. Our son is ten and definitely uses noise to confuse and panic us into trying to get his own way. Could you advise us on what to do as we have six kids- one of whom autistic and is extremely sensitive to noise . We live in a small house so thee is no escape from the noise of his outbursts. We try to be firm and insist on him doing what we have asked of him but it’s so hard on our other kids , especially our daughter who finds noise painful. Our other kids are finding it so distressing aswell and it feels like his outbursts and loud overreactions are holding our whole family to ransom. We are at breaking point as a family. Any advice would be greatly appreciated .
I cover this in the Creating Daily Expectations Course.
th-cam.com/video/5_c_E_i6O_E/w-d-xo.htmlsi=Auf5ym-Bh3YWnWd9
th-cam.com/video/KdlPuZ9b4f0/w-d-xo.htmlsi=RqkqhrxJjWbb0M_p
Brain voice. I like it 😌
Thanks!
When I say to my child... Take ur tym to calm down n come to me ven u r ready...he tells me...I will also not talk to you. Go to a different room and sit. For hours.
Then eventually only have to go and give reaction to him. By being angry or punishment.
How to deal with such a situation.
th-cam.com/play/PLzmXDzfrSJcCaomxN3cm8-TLqi07_Wr8V.html&si=arccWN22C0Z989a3
my son has always been a noise maker & I've vaways joined in with him during the noise makingm by mimicking the same noise, & that many timesm results in the 2 od us laughing in hysterics together as my noises quite often are flubbs, Haha,
Can you please help me😢❤
Sure: www.adhddude.com