I know that this podcast is not designed for children and my 9 year old asks to listen to you. He is listening and learning along with me as we work through his ADHD journey. I appreciate your work and the male perspective.
Please tell him that makes my day hearing that. Also, I wasn't sure if you had seen this playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLzmXDzfrSJcAXILKSK-7UDSRKm7ml_bvp.html&si=Oc8Ar_uENN73o-af
I would love to know how he is processing it? Has it helped him in any way? I was thinking to do the same, but was scared to have my 7yo listen, as I didn't know if what was being said would influence his behaviour more, etc.
A 7 year old will not understand any of this episode and listening to adults talk aboove his developmental level will not have any influence on his behavior.
As a female with ADHD everything you have said is what it was like for me in elementary, middle and high school. You are 💯spot on ‼️ I have sent friends and even my cousins texts to hangout and do stuff and they never reply back so I will just wait until they reach out to me.
Thank you for this episode. Watching i emotionally devastated me, learning more about perspective-taking has sent me thru episodes in my past and the shame and guilt is so strong. I wish I had this knowledge when I was a child. I'd almost forgotten I'd even been pulled out of classes for the "help" because it was so useless for me! You two are great. Lots of love.
Thank you to both of you. As a mom, sometimes it’s really heartbreaking to see your kid struggle especially socially. My 6.7 yrs old son really love socializing, making friends and all but the problem is that the friendship is not mutual. Even though at first it’s ok but then after sometimes the other kid receded.😢
Wow. So much good stuff in here. Thank you. My husband, our oldest daughter, and I all have ADHD. Not sure about any of our other 4 kids yet, but this podcast is helping me understand how to help my kids so much better! I've always practiced various social situations in my head or in the mirror so I knew how to respond. And if it wasn't a person I was seeing regularly, they sort of fell out of my head (long distance relatives or 'friends' that I no longer had classes with). Now I finally know why. The bit you said about the ADHD brain preferences in order of Electronics, Parent Disregulation, and Laughter rings so true for me. I have said of my daughter many times how I don't understand how she can be the class clown when she is in a class of 1 (homeschooled).
Great in content and advice. At 71 I still struggle with the most simple decision making and I’m not comfortable with people. I never go to women’s groups, and struggle ordering at a fast food for fear of decisions and making another mistake! So crippling. I do naturally try to anticipate situations I’m going into to the point of obsession! A real challenge for my husband, too!!!
My husband just listened to your podcast yesterday (after I sent it to him to read) because we have a 13 year old son with ADHD and he struggles with close friendships in school. Has "friends" he sits with at lunch but they are all on their computers playing chess or he'll play a plane flying game, etc. or scroll through TH-cam. He is in Boy Scouts and on a swim team and has friends there but no close friends. He has friends in our neighborhood and he'll go to their houses on weekends sometimes. One is his age and one is a year younger. They play normally but sometimes also play video games. What you said is spot on but we don't allow our son to have a phone at 13 - he has my old phone he can use to play Roblox on, on the weekends for 1-2 hours but he doesn't know the passcode and it doesn't have cell service so he can't text his friends (he has a Gizmo watch but can only communicate with us or his sister) so I've been curious if not having a cell phone is impacting his social relationships? Most kids communicate by texting, calling etc. and he can't do that. My husband doesn't think so - we are waiting till at least the start of 9th grade (he will be turning 15 then) and this is mainly because of his ADHD. Would love to hear a segment on a podcast about that. We are planning on signing up for your curriculum so maybe you go over this in there.
What I address is that I think it's OK for kids to have phones, without social media on them, that way they can communicate, granted not through social media though.
This was so incredibly helpful! But I have a question... how do you help your child (middle school aged) when they are motivated, interested, and engaged with other kids but always end up doing something to alienate them? My son has a great personality, loves people, super social BUT ends up acting "weird" or is often called worse. He also often shares secrets and betrays his friends' trust. He wants so badly to fit in and be socially interactive but he struggles. I've completed your membership site training and it's been the most helpful tool in our journey. Thank you for the invaluable information you provide.
Hi, did you watch the Socially Smarter series? For some reason most membership site members don't seem to realize it's part of the membership site. That course would address specifically what you're talking about
So in your professional opinion- is homeschooling with a Co-op and keeping the child involved in multiple groups/clubs and sports healthier and more productive ? Or Public school route with the IEP and other tools offered in the public school realm? Asking for a 8 yof /ADHD
I think that's a personal decision for each individual family and I have no judgement about families that choose to homeschool. It's not something I would have done had I been able to do.
Question: do you have a video on inappropriate behavior ? My son is almost 6 and struggling at school w understanding why he can’t do “potty talk” at school or show his ‘privates’ to make people laugh. He’s not understanding that people are laughing bc they’re uncomfortable or immature and that it’s not a positive. Thank you for this.
I almost cried because it was so validating (except the part about humour, I was Soooooo opiniated and into debating_ during I school) I was wondering If i could have autism because my lack of social awareness at times ! But I do see when i catch up a cue or a facial expression that I have to change my behaviour and i'm not confused about it) As a female kid I had a lots of friends until 8/9 years old, that is when the struggle started just like you said ! But I always wondered why I was so gullible (bullied) and trusting of others and see they were making fun of me too late...... Also, Sometimes I don't catch irony base on the context or If I am not looking at the person, If the tone of voice is not really exagerated, is it an ADHD social executive thing or I still should look for autism... (I make eye contact maybe not always sustained, but always socially driven (maybe too much as a little kid), and I think I understand social rules but struggle to apply them ? The black and white thinking can be really challenging too...) Thank you so much !!!
Assuming we give attention/rewards for behavior we want to see-- Will extrinsically rewarding my son for asking questions about another person or demonstrating interest/care about another person turn off any intrinsic motivation? Will he expect rewards every time he does something nice for someone? My son is 6 with ADHD.
I know that this podcast is not designed for children and my 9 year old asks to listen to you. He is listening and learning along with me as we work through his ADHD journey. I appreciate your work and the male perspective.
Please tell him that makes my day hearing that. Also, I wasn't sure if you had seen this playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLzmXDzfrSJcAXILKSK-7UDSRKm7ml_bvp.html&si=Oc8Ar_uENN73o-af
I would love to know how he is processing it? Has it helped him in any way? I was thinking to do the same, but was scared to have my 7yo listen, as I didn't know if what was being said would influence his behaviour more, etc.
A 7 year old will not understand any of this episode and listening to adults talk aboove his developmental level will not have any influence on his behavior.
@@ADHDDude Thank you for the link. I had forgotten about those videos.
As a female with ADHD everything you have said is what it was like for me in elementary, middle and high school. You are 💯spot on ‼️ I have sent friends and even my cousins texts to hangout and do stuff and they never reply back so I will just wait until they reach out to me.
Glad to hear this resonated, thank you
Thank you for this episode. Watching i emotionally devastated me, learning more about perspective-taking has sent me thru episodes in my past and the shame and guilt is so strong. I wish I had this knowledge when I was a child. I'd almost forgotten I'd even been pulled out of classes for the "help" because it was so useless for me! You two are great. Lots of love.
Glad it was helpful and thank you so much for watching!
Frontloading is as close to a magic encantation as I have used with my kids. Such a great skill for parents and for kids.
Can you please explain what this is?
th-cam.com/video/JJEsTpd7ZPA/w-d-xo.html
Yes, absolutely
@@ADHDDude Thank you! It's kind of a prep-talk! I love it... have been doing this with my children without knowing the exact name.
Thank you so much!!! Im feeling inspired and supported. Im looking forward to carrying out this advice. Thank you!!! 🙏
So glad ot hear it, thank you!
Thank you to both of you. As a mom, sometimes it’s really heartbreaking to see your kid struggle especially socially. My 6.7 yrs old son really love socializing, making friends and all but the problem is that the friendship is not mutual. Even though at first it’s ok but then after sometimes the other kid receded.😢
Please check out the Social Skills playlist here at the channel and thank you for watching.
Wow. So much good stuff in here. Thank you.
My husband, our oldest daughter, and I all have ADHD. Not sure about any of our other 4 kids yet, but this podcast is helping me understand how to help my kids so much better!
I've always practiced various social situations in my head or in the mirror so I knew how to respond. And if it wasn't a person I was seeing regularly, they sort of fell out of my head (long distance relatives or 'friends' that I no longer had classes with). Now I finally know why.
The bit you said about the ADHD brain preferences in order of Electronics, Parent Disregulation, and Laughter rings so true for me. I have said of my daughter many times how I don't understand how she can be the class clown when she is in a class of 1 (homeschooled).
Great in content and advice. At 71 I still struggle with the most simple decision making and I’m not comfortable with people. I never go to women’s groups, and struggle ordering at a fast food for fear of decisions and making another mistake! So crippling. I do naturally try to anticipate situations I’m going into to the point of obsession! A real challenge for my husband, too!!!
Thank you so much!
My husband just listened to your podcast yesterday (after I sent it to him to read) because we have a 13 year old son with ADHD and he struggles with close friendships in school. Has "friends" he sits with at lunch but they are all on their computers playing chess or he'll play a plane flying game, etc. or scroll through TH-cam. He is in Boy Scouts and on a swim team and has friends there but no close friends. He has friends in our neighborhood and he'll go to their houses on weekends sometimes. One is his age and one is a year younger. They play normally but sometimes also play video games. What you said is spot on but we don't allow our son to have a phone at 13 - he has my old phone he can use to play Roblox on, on the weekends for 1-2 hours but he doesn't know the passcode and it doesn't have cell service so he can't text his friends (he has a Gizmo watch but can only communicate with us or his sister) so I've been curious if not having a cell phone is impacting his social relationships? Most kids communicate by texting, calling etc. and he can't do that. My husband doesn't think so - we are waiting till at least the start of 9th grade (he will be turning 15 then) and this is mainly because of his ADHD. Would love to hear a segment on a podcast about that. We are planning on signing up for your curriculum so maybe you go over this in there.
What I address is that I think it's OK for kids to have phones, without social media on them, that way they can communicate, granted not through social media though.
Thank you both for your time.
thank you for watching
This is sooooo good! My 4th grader struggles to make friends for all the reasons you are mentioning. It breaks my Mama heart!
Please check out the Social Skills playlist here at the channel.
This is an awesome, very informative video, really good job here guys
Thank you!
Ryan, this was amazing! This describes my son so well!
Glad to hear it, thank you!
Love your content , thank you!!!
Thanks for watching!
Holy s**t, this episode is priceless! Well done!!!
thank you!
Great episode! Thank you Guys!!
Thank you!
Hi.Good to see you !
This was so incredibly helpful! But I have a question... how do you help your child (middle school aged) when they are motivated, interested, and engaged with other kids but always end up doing something to alienate them? My son has a great personality, loves people, super social BUT ends up acting "weird" or is often called worse. He also often shares secrets and betrays his friends' trust. He wants so badly to fit in and be socially interactive but he struggles. I've completed your membership site training and it's been the most helpful tool in our journey. Thank you for the invaluable information you provide.
Hi, did you watch the Socially Smarter series? For some reason most membership site members don't seem to realize it's part of the membership site. That course would address specifically what you're talking about
So in your professional opinion- is homeschooling with a Co-op and keeping the child involved in multiple groups/clubs and sports healthier and more productive ?
Or
Public school route with the IEP and other tools offered in the public school realm?
Asking for a 8 yof /ADHD
I think that's a personal decision for each individual family and I have no judgement about families that choose to homeschool. It's not something I would have done had I been able to do.
Question: do you have a video on inappropriate behavior ? My son is almost 6 and struggling at school w understanding why he can’t do “potty talk” at school or show his ‘privates’ to make people laugh. He’s not understanding that people are laughing bc they’re uncomfortable or immature and that it’s not a positive. Thank you for this.
th-cam.com/play/PLzmXDzfrSJcCaomxN3cm8-TLqi07_Wr8V.html&si=LQr87MwAZxktZo6n
th-cam.com/play/PLzmXDzfrSJcCcEb9Y7Iwhjx6r7pAnqCTH.html&si=ZrjgWBbYxuAtNgpT
@@ADHDDude ty for the response!
I almost cried because it was so validating (except the part about humour, I was Soooooo opiniated and into debating_ during I school) I was wondering If i could have autism because my lack of social awareness at times ! But I do see when i catch up a cue or a facial expression that I have to change my behaviour and i'm not confused about it)
As a female kid I had a lots of friends until 8/9 years old, that is when the struggle started just like you said ! But I always wondered why I was so gullible (bullied) and trusting of others and see they were making fun of me too late......
Also, Sometimes I don't catch irony base on the context or If I am not looking at the person, If the tone of voice is not really exagerated, is it an ADHD social executive thing or I still should look for autism... (I make eye contact maybe not always sustained, but always socially driven (maybe too much as a little kid), and I think I understand social rules but struggle to apply them ? The black and white thinking can be really challenging too...)
Thank you so much !!!
Great content. So helpful!
thank you!
Assuming we give attention/rewards for behavior we want to see-- Will extrinsically rewarding my son for asking questions about another person or demonstrating interest/care about another person turn off any intrinsic motivation? Will he expect rewards every time he does something nice for someone? My son is 6 with ADHD.
6 year olds should not be expected to show interest in others, they should show interest in reciprocal and imaginative play with others.
Good to know, thank you!
What shall we do, as parents, to 8 year old boy to be more “careful “ with his relationships? How to train them to think before they talk etc? Thanks
Social Skills playlist here at the channel.
Socially Smarter webinar series which is part of the membership site: www.adhddude.com