i'm so glad you bought up the fact that uni is sold as "the best years of your life!" because they were the worst years of my life!! now i've just left, and completed my first week of corporate work and so struggling to make friends in this next chapter of my life
my problem with making friends is that i have friends and can make friends but i dont't have a friend group... and i miss having a friend group. i mostly hang out with people 1 on 1
When I start listening to Years & Years I KNOW its summer lol. Having to make friends after school is also something I've been thinking about. I'm personally not great at keeping in touch with people and am definitely that friend that goes ages without a word and then will casually check in. Luckily I've got friends that understand that I'm like that and know that if they need me they can call. If it wasn't for me becoming friends with them though during college I don't know whether I'd have that many friends right now because I primarily make friends through mutual friends.
I am a big time ADHD gorl and love reading but really struggle to concentrate too, but I find setting a timer really helps to motivate me, normally I wanna continue for hours and hyperfocus once the timer goes off lol
i was so lucky with uni. i managed to make three really good friends within days as we were all in the same seminar on the same course. then one of my other close friends i’ve made eventually joined that group and these are now the closest friends i’ve ever had and the first time i’ve been in a proper friendship group. it really is the luck of the draw. funny thing is everyone told me i’d make friends in accom but i made NONE which made living at uni hard. i’m back at home now which definitely helped my mental health. overall i’d say making friends at uni was a mixed bag until i found my people.
jordan!! i recently started living alone for the first time ever and this podcast really makes me feel not alone.. plz continue being real!! will always be a huge fan :D
watch severance!!!!! it’s so excellent and i believe production was halted because of the writer’s strike specifically, since the creator of the show denied rumours about the showrunners hating each other lol. it’s so so so SO worth it to watch
So much yes. I did a semester abroad and except for one person whom I'm still in contact with, no one approached me or said, "Hey, you're the new one, wanna sit with us?" Because obviously, in a not so big city and in a master's programme, everyone already had their friends. I was so lonely, I actually got ill from it, mentally. I couldn't always use that one person to socialize with, they had other things to do, other friends to spend time with. Yes, you can put yourself out there, but the others also need to integrate you into their group
it can be so different for everyone! i hated secondary school; struggled to get good a-level grades, left with no friends and zero self-confidence. after working for a year full-time afterwards, it meant i went to uni knowing *no-one*. it gave me a chance to re-write myself and start with a clean slate. it meant i could 'make myself' at uni, without the weight of past friendships and my school history. it made me ready for the working world and a much more independent life. it happens at different times for different people. granted, i like smaller friend groups and my strongest friendships are all overseas, so i find it easier. what i'm trying to get at is: be patient with yourself and don't settle for less than you're worth. it will happen and everything will come together eventually. have faith. :)
omg i totally relate to you about the slicked back hair. I like doing it now! so good for dirty hair. I used to hate it too because i thought i was too ugly. I even remember hating the way my mom combed my hair after the bath because it exposed my face too much and i felt hideous. Wow i’m so happy how far i’ve come 🥲
I love this topic!! Something I’m going through right now - I am 22 now working full time and didn’t go to a big university. It’s hard to maintain old friendships or make new ones during this time.
100% agree with the bit about uni it's so pushed into our faces and romanticised and I've heard multiple stories about even very academic people dropping out or uni not working out
I think your economic background can also make a huge difference when you're making friends at uni. I went to uni with a lot of people who clearly had very wealthy parents, and they literally wouldn't give me the time of day
omgggg please, same!!!! the friends i have from uni all have wealthy backgrounds and it has strained my friendships so much, to the point where me not having a car or living in another part of the city has led to BIG fights. it sucks sm
This is a great topic! I've been working at my office job for 6 months now. I wouldn't say that my coworkers and I are friends, but I love that a majority of the people there are quiet and peaceful. I went into undergraduate making lovely friends but postgraduate was a different story. Despite all of us being mature student, i felt like i was tossed into A-levels. The drama was ridiculous! I've joined societies/clubs and am taking skill classes to have a life outside of work and to make friends, but being neutral acquaintances with my coworkers are fine if I'm given peace ✌🏻
I don't think I've ever had any wholesome relationship, like i've had friends, even close ones, but i don't think that there was ever this platonic love? i wish i had those type of relationships but i just can't do it for some reason
I'd say volunteering is a great way to make friends too. Whether you've moved to a new place or not. Chances are you'll have a similar interest/care about a similar cause etc so already have something to go off.
I made friends at uni by joining a society - if anyone here reading this is about to go to uni or is already there and struggling, all clubs usually advertise during freshers week. I did musical theatre society, but there was so much other stuff, various sports groups, chess, comic book club, christian union, crafing, film clubs, the list goes on!
just randomly found this video but what you said about your boyfriend and school was so relatable. my school experience was awfulll, i was very depressed without even realising it so i kept to myself all the time and unintentionally isolated myself whilst thinking that everyone else was the problem and not me. i met my boyfriend shortly after school and his experience was the exact opposite, had tons of friends, very popular, had way better teenage experiences. we've been together for over a year and i still feel really jealous sometimes ngl. glad im not alone in feeling this tho!
Hey Jordan, I think Severance is 100% worth watching even if they don't make another season!!! I think you'd really love it, it was one of the best shows I've watched in ages and such an experience 💕 Love your podcast so much!!
I relate sooooo much to you being insecure about your experience in school not being as great as Lem's. It's the same with my boyfriend and I, and now I've done enough therapy to understand that it was because I wasn't confident and didn't have tools to build better friendships. I used to feel so jealous of his experiences in high school because for me it was so boring and I was in such toxic groups of people that I just put up with for at least 3 years. Luckily in uni I was able to relate a bit better to people but still, it can be harddddd putting yourself out there
Tip to read more that helped me: set a timer for 30 minutes and keep your phone away. Try to read until you finish the timer. I did this cuz I was worried I would read too much and not work on anything else but also sometimes I didn't have the energy to read and only wanted to scroll insta. So this timer strategy helped me manage both of my concerns. Hope it helps!
i liked ur last pod this one just reminds me of how lonely i am you are really digging in on your mass amount of friends and saying to keep them, but i didn’t make the choice to leave.
You’re so good at media analysis and your previous tv show videos have been great, I really do think you should maybe do more show deepdives, especially since they bring you joy
What you said about the friendship's mosaic is really poetic.. thank you for this video! It really helps because it's hard for some of us ❤ I also agree with what you said about the different purposes of friends.. it's something that I've been embracing too
Living in London, working, and going to techno parties would be a dream life. You are so lucky to be able to do that. If you do a video essay about the London party scene, I am sure it would get a lot of views.
could you please post a link to the two TikTok’s you references? or if anyone else happens upon them, could you please post the links? i want to send them to my besties 🥺
thank you for making us feel like it’s going to be okay!! I’m considering moving to the uk from america but am worried about being able to make friends abroad, and hearing you talk about this has honestly made me feel so much less anxious
Jordan I would absolutely love if you did a Succession deep dive video! It would be good if you had a way that we could support you like Patreon or tips through YT. No pressure or course tho 💖
This was such a good video btw, leaving school was so isolating and scary for me, especially bc it was during lockdown. I did end up making very good friends at uni so if you are going through this: you’ll probably be fine, just put yourself out there and be patient
Making friends as an adult is so difficult. All my current friends are people I've been friends with since primary school. We have stayed in touch through the years but it's not really the same. I don't share any interests with them so I find it hard to keep contacting them to be honest. I didn't really made friends during my university years and my coworkers are just that, coworkers. Some are super nice but I don't really see myself hanging out with them outside of work. I don't really know how to met people. Being an introvert and a homebody with social anxiety does not help lol.
would be nice if any of your friends throughout life still talked to you. all my friends throughout the years just stop replying so i have nothing to show for my years of friendship with all these people that mean nothing now
on the podcast ur lostening to note: you neeeed to listen to binchtopia if u dont already!! rayen fq has been on there a few times, they’ve just done some really great eps on furries, tamagotchis and s*x dolls lolol. soosososo good!!!
I actually went to uni knowing about 5 people from my school, and knowing absolutely no one in my course. Oddly enough, I have made the most solid group of friends & we all graduated last year, went on a celebratory trip & still hang out multiple times a month. I suck at making friends, but the whole group actually started with myself and another girl (who was moving cities to study), when we met on a fb group!! There was a thread on a girls page about what courses people were doing at what unis and we were the only ones doing the same degree. Seems niche but looking online is deffs a start! We met up for pancakes before our orientation day & the rest is history🫶🏼
But the best advice I have is introduce yourself to people & get their socials. At our orientation day we sat next to a girl who literally just said ‘hi my names charlotte’. The rest is history. Her brother told her, no one thinks you’re crazy if you strike up a chat, everyone is nervous & lonely, they’ll probably appreciate it. And he was so right. At the beginning you probably won’t have friends, and most people won’t, so just introduce yourself! But deffs grab people’s socials so you can stay in touch & message them about uni things
"I'm sorry if this advice is shit, like I am trying my best" you're so real for this bro
i'm so glad you bought up the fact that uni is sold as "the best years of your life!" because they were the worst years of my life!! now i've just left, and completed my first week of corporate work and so struggling to make friends in this next chapter of my life
such a good day when jordan uploads
my problem with making friends is that i have friends and can make friends but i dont't have a friend group... and i miss having a friend group. i mostly hang out with people 1 on 1
When I start listening to Years & Years I KNOW its summer lol. Having to make friends after school is also something I've been thinking about. I'm personally not great at keeping in touch with people and am definitely that friend that goes ages without a word and then will casually check in. Luckily I've got friends that understand that I'm like that and know that if they need me they can call. If it wasn't for me becoming friends with them though during college I don't know whether I'd have that many friends right now because I primarily make friends through mutual friends.
I am a big time ADHD gorl and love reading but really struggle to concentrate too, but I find setting a timer really helps to motivate me, normally I wanna continue for hours and hyperfocus once the timer goes off lol
i was so lucky with uni. i managed to make three really good friends within days as we were all in the same seminar on the same course. then one of my other close friends i’ve made eventually joined that group and these are now the closest friends i’ve ever had and the first time i’ve been in a proper friendship group. it really is the luck of the draw. funny thing is everyone told me i’d make friends in accom but i made NONE which made living at uni hard. i’m back at home now which definitely helped my mental health. overall i’d say making friends at uni was a mixed bag until i found my people.
jordan!! i recently started living alone for the first time ever and this podcast really makes me feel not alone.. plz continue being real!! will always be a huge fan :D
watch severance!!!!! it’s so excellent and i believe production was halted because of the writer’s strike specifically, since the creator of the show denied rumours about the showrunners hating each other lol. it’s so so so SO worth it to watch
So much yes. I did a semester abroad and except for one person whom I'm still in contact with, no one approached me or said, "Hey, you're the new one, wanna sit with us?" Because obviously, in a not so big city and in a master's programme, everyone already had their friends. I was so lonely, I actually got ill from it, mentally. I couldn't always use that one person to socialize with, they had other things to do, other friends to spend time with. Yes, you can put yourself out there, but the others also need to integrate you into their group
it can be so different for everyone! i hated secondary school; struggled to get good a-level grades, left with no friends and zero self-confidence. after working for a year full-time afterwards, it meant i went to uni knowing *no-one*. it gave me a chance to re-write myself and start with a clean slate. it meant i could 'make myself' at uni, without the weight of past friendships and my school history. it made me ready for the working world and a much more independent life.
it happens at different times for different people. granted, i like smaller friend groups and my strongest friendships are all overseas, so i find it easier. what i'm trying to get at is: be patient with yourself and don't settle for less than you're worth. it will happen and everything will come together eventually. have faith. :)
omg i totally relate to you about the slicked back hair. I like doing it now! so good for dirty hair. I used to hate it too because i thought i was too ugly. I even remember hating the way my mom combed my hair after the bath because it exposed my face too much and i felt hideous. Wow i’m so happy how far i’ve come 🥲
I love this topic!! Something I’m going through right now - I am 22 now working full time and didn’t go to a big university. It’s hard to maintain old friendships or make new ones during this time.
100% agree with the bit about uni it's so pushed into our faces and romanticised and I've heard multiple stories about even very academic people dropping out or uni not working out
I think your economic background can also make a huge difference when you're making friends at uni. I went to uni with a lot of people who clearly had very wealthy parents, and they literally wouldn't give me the time of day
omgggg please, same!!!! the friends i have from uni all have wealthy backgrounds and it has strained my friendships so much, to the point where me not having a car or living in another part of the city has led to BIG fights. it sucks sm
This is a great topic!
I've been working at my office job for 6 months now. I wouldn't say that my coworkers and I are friends, but I love that a majority of the people there are quiet and peaceful.
I went into undergraduate making lovely friends but postgraduate was a different story. Despite all of us being mature student, i felt like i was tossed into A-levels. The drama was ridiculous!
I've joined societies/clubs and am taking skill classes to have a life outside of work and to make friends, but being neutral acquaintances with my coworkers are fine if I'm given peace ✌🏻
I don't think I've ever had any wholesome relationship, like i've had friends, even close ones, but i don't think that there was ever this platonic love? i wish i had those type of relationships but i just can't do it for some reason
I'd say volunteering is a great way to make friends too. Whether you've moved to a new place or not. Chances are you'll have a similar interest/care about a similar cause etc so already have something to go off.
I made friends at uni by joining a society - if anyone here reading this is about to go to uni or is already there and struggling, all clubs usually advertise during freshers week. I did musical theatre society, but there was so much other stuff, various sports groups, chess, comic book club, christian union, crafing, film clubs, the list goes on!
yes PLEASE talk about the ultimatum it is so wild!! we need your thoughts xx
just randomly found this video but what you said about your boyfriend and school was so relatable. my school experience was awfulll, i was very depressed without even realising it so i kept to myself all the time and unintentionally isolated myself whilst thinking that everyone else was the problem and not me. i met my boyfriend shortly after school and his experience was the exact opposite, had tons of friends, very popular, had way better teenage experiences. we've been together for over a year and i still feel really jealous sometimes ngl. glad im not alone in feeling this tho!
Hey Jordan, I think Severance is 100% worth watching even if they don't make another season!!! I think you'd really love it, it was one of the best shows I've watched in ages and such an experience 💕 Love your podcast so much!!
This is such a wholesome video. Like I felt emotional when you read that poem. Radiating such nice vibes
I relate sooooo much to you being insecure about your experience in school not being as great as Lem's. It's the same with my boyfriend and I, and now I've done enough therapy to understand that it was because I wasn't confident and didn't have tools to build better friendships. I used to feel so jealous of his experiences in high school because for me it was so boring and I was in such toxic groups of people that I just put up with for at least 3 years. Luckily in uni I was able to relate a bit better to people but still, it can be harddddd putting yourself out there
ur literally so beautiful jordan 🌞 thank u for feeding us
reading a physical book along with an audiobook helps me !!!
Tip to read more that helped me: set a timer for 30 minutes and keep your phone away. Try to read until you finish the timer. I did this cuz I was worried I would read too much and not work on anything else but also sometimes I didn't have the energy to read and only wanted to scroll insta. So this timer strategy helped me manage both of my concerns. Hope it helps!
Dyinggggg for you to do an episode/video on Ultimatum Queer Love!!
i liked ur last pod this one just reminds me of how lonely i am you are really digging in on your mass amount of friends and saying to keep them, but i didn’t make the choice to leave.
You’re so good at media analysis and your previous tv show videos have been great, I really do think you should maybe do more show deepdives, especially since they bring you joy
Might have to crown you as my favourite TH-camr, I get so happy when you upload 🥹
Another episode after 3 days? Jordan, you spoil us!
Fr i really struggle with making new friends especially in uni I really appreciate u talking about this
What you said about the friendship's mosaic is really poetic.. thank you for this video! It really helps because it's hard for some of us ❤ I also agree with what you said about the different purposes of friends.. it's something that I've been embracing too
Living in London, working, and going to techno parties would be a dream life. You are so lucky to be able to do that. If you do a video essay about the London party scene, I am sure it would get a lot of views.
could you please post a link to the two TikTok’s you references? or if anyone else happens upon them, could you please post the links? i want to send them to my besties 🥺
i used bumble bff during covid cause i was soo desperate for meeting people, had 3 'dates' and all were fine but never spoke to them after
Ur take on slicked back hair is so real. So me
thank you for making us feel like it’s going to be okay!!
I’m considering moving to the uk from america but am worried about being able to make friends abroad, and hearing you talk about this has honestly made me feel so much less anxious
Jordan I would absolutely love if you did a Succession deep dive video! It would be good if you had a way that we could support you like Patreon or tips through YT. No pressure or course tho 💖
Omg Jordan u posted an insta story with Carly Simon playing and I was OBSESSED from that snippet… been playing it non stop since… thank u 🙏
This was such a good video btw, leaving school was so isolating and scary for me, especially bc it was during lockdown. I did end up making very good friends at uni so if you are going through this: you’ll probably be fine, just put yourself out there and be patient
loved the quotes you shared, they were so sweet
cant wait to see jordan talk abt more reality tv lol
yesss!! please talk about the ultimatum queer love.I just finished watching it and im shocked!
Can someone post the tiktok Jordan reads at 49:02? I'm trying to find it to send it to an important person to me!!!
omg I love Rehash! Love Maias youtube channel as well
Would love to hear your opinion on “your boyfriends friends are not your friends”!!!
Noooo I didn't know that Severance was put on hold, it's THE BEST tv show I've watched in years. Honestly
Omg I’ll need to know your thoughts about the ultimatum queer love bc the way it devolves into toxicity after the midway point is crazy
Making friends as an adult is so difficult. All my current friends are people I've been friends with since primary school. We have stayed in touch through the years but it's not really the same. I don't share any interests with them so I find it hard to keep contacting them to be honest. I didn't really made friends during my university years and my coworkers are just that, coworkers. Some are super nice but I don't really see myself hanging out with them outside of work. I don't really know how to met people. Being an introvert and a homebody with social anxiety does not help lol.
omg perfect timing
Your advice is never shit haha, it’s always good to hear your opinion
i never comment lol but i highly recommend barry!!! such a good show
love this one
All my friendships ( all three of them) are like yours and Cheska's friendship. Communication stresses me out D:
i love you sm
what kind of mic are you using?
Me listening to this and nodding even though I am about 3 years away from my twenties
okay i will fight for you in your comments sections my queen
Well it seems like I’m going to have to join Facebook
justice for boots!!🤞😔
therapy** with jordan theresa
❤❤❤
would be nice if any of your friends throughout life still talked to you. all my friends throughout the years just stop replying so i have nothing to show for my years of friendship with all these people that mean nothing now
😍😍😍😍
😍
So lonely
on the podcast ur lostening to note: you neeeed to listen to binchtopia if u dont already!! rayen fq has been on there a few times, they’ve just done some really great eps on furries, tamagotchis and s*x dolls lolol. soosososo good!!!
I actually went to uni knowing about 5 people from my school, and knowing absolutely no one in my course. Oddly enough, I have made the most solid group of friends & we all graduated last year, went on a celebratory trip & still hang out multiple times a month. I suck at making friends, but the whole group actually started with myself and another girl (who was moving cities to study), when we met on a fb group!! There was a thread on a girls page about what courses people were doing at what unis and we were the only ones doing the same degree. Seems niche but looking online is deffs a start! We met up for pancakes before our orientation day & the rest is history🫶🏼
But the best advice I have is introduce yourself to people & get their socials. At our orientation day we sat next to a girl who literally just said ‘hi my names charlotte’. The rest is history. Her brother told her, no one thinks you’re crazy if you strike up a chat, everyone is nervous & lonely, they’ll probably appreciate it. And he was so right. At the beginning you probably won’t have friends, and most people won’t, so just introduce yourself! But deffs grab people’s socials so you can stay in touch & message them about uni things