I like the way that she is smiling at what she is saying, even if the audience don't seem to be responding. It's like she doesn't care too much about whether others are judging her and is going to enjoy the experience for herself (kind of like what she is describing).
Luigi Warning agree with you bro. She is basically saying experience = the now. Immersing yourself in the now, and forgetting about the past and the future. It’s feminine. And she’s never had it before in her life, and she was emotionally dying as a result. Masculine men understand that there is a past, present and a future - that life is also about improving the now exponentially over time - which femininity cannot do on their own. Why? Because femininity sacrifices the future for the now. Without masculine men, everything gets screwed.
Ionescu L what do you mean the death of masculinity? Because yes. A woman dies inside when she becomes masculine. Men become alive when they become masculine. They die when they remain in their femininity.
I love this direction of femininity. I adore the fact that you didn’t say to dress this way, speak this way, or frame this around attracting a man. It is exhausting for me to try to get in touch w my own femininity and to only realize that the advice that is out there basically has the end goal of finding a man. It’s disheartening. Thank you for this!
I have to admit that I do watch those videos about attracting men, but I searched up “femininity” to find some sort of safe space of women who aren’t insecure about their femininity talking about something other than attraction. In a sea of videos about how to dress less masculine, I found this video and this comment section, which was very healing for me. I think your comment best reflects my thought process. It was a beautiful comment so thank you.
@@edgarbenjoseph3879 A lot of men, yes, but let’s not use absolutes. I think a lot of men would be more attractive if they became more in touch with their feminine side too.
@@stop4500 Meh, femininity is not what is attractive in a man. The majority of women want masculine men. Sure in touch with their femininity, but not too much. Women don't go "omg, look how hot this feminine man is" haha As for men, femininity is incredibly attractive in a woman.
As a man, I agree with this. I have a passion for learning, and I think it is the femininity in me that drives me. I've been studying Japanese for years, and whenever someone finds out about it, the first thing they ask me is "why are you learning Japanese?" while expecting some sort of logical answer, and my answer is always a surprise for them. I answer "because I wanted to" instead of "because of better job offers" or "more salary" or "more exposure" and they always reply "What? That's a waste of time, you could be learning a more useful language, like French or Chinese". The thing is - learning new things for me has always been for the experience instead of for the results. I've finally been able to point this out after watching this video. Thank you so much! Time to study Esperanto!
I get asked this question very often aswell. I am learning Swedish (because it sounds like a happy language) and Turkish (because I like the structure and vocal harmony) and want to try Finnish now (simply because it's sounds funny and seems to be difficult to learn).
Or that could be because most men are more romantic than women. To see and experience beauty in the mundane. The goal is then to experience the beauty. Which is a side of masculinity that is pushed under the rag. The more gentle side of it.
Eagerness to explore and learn are not feminine traits. The entire modern education system was invented by men. And this system uses teachings made from discoveries made by men throughout history. For the longest time men have been equitable with their female spouse based on no merit at all. Now women have been elevated above men for simply doing the bare minimum that men have been doing for thousands of years. All of this is a result of men's desperation for mates.
I don't think it's men's fault that current social structures such as the economy rewards hard work, competition and ability to meet consumerist demand on mass scale. This ultimately drives societal development in the quickest way possible. Otherwise we'd still be hundreds of years behind in technology. I'm waiting to hear the functional alternatives that can achieve the same amount of societal progress without compromising meritorcracy. It would be great if we could better cater to female traits, but development has no care for this.
Yin and Yang as a concept helps in understanding the duality of existence. Femininity and masculinity are another way of thinking about Yin and Yang. It is a duality of energies and both energies are in each person. The energy that is more prevalent in women has been labelled feminine but many women have a dominant energy that is labelled masculine
Thank you for saying this. I believe that people would understand this better if it is put this way. Explaining things as feminine or masculine polarizes people.
Thank you. I am glad someone in this world does understand that these different energies and aura don't have to do anything with the feminine or masculine. Women and men are biologically different but not how they approach things and feel. Both of them can have mixed traits which are typically associated with one gender. People can be complex and a lot different from how limited we know about them and perceive in the same way. Both energies and traits can be in a person, it's just a matter of the influence of culture that we divide both genders in conventional ways.
I like how you mention "in each person". A lot of people believe that somehow we could exist with only men being masculine and only women being feminine. The concept of yin and yang would best be applied at the individual level.
Unbelievable. This was absolutely fantastic. One of the best talks I've ever heard. Women joining the workplace is a beautiful thing and having the opportunity to use their masculinity is fantastic! It's just unfortunate we never had the chance to sit down and talk about what it meant for women. In a results-oriented world (that has lifted billions out of poverty!!), women are putting themselves in a masculine system and it can be too much for some of them. Or it's just that when they are outside of work, they want to be in their feminine energy even more! Some will stay in their masculine, resent men, and not actually feel good about life. Some women truly are more masculine, but it's likely that most women feel more in-tune with spending most of their day in their feminine. As a dominant man who has dated a lot of career-driven, alpha women, all of them have wanted me to be mostly in my masculine when we are together (and them in their feminine). They've all told me something along the lines, "I enjoy my work, but when I leave work, I don't want to control everything. I just want to experience life and have a masculine person lead our relationship." And while we're in this conversation, it seems to me that more women should try to be more in touch with their femininity as well as men! I think a lot of toxic masculinity stems from men denying their feminine side. That doesn't mean they need to become fully feminine (though they can if that's how their true self enjoys being), but most men should probably fit in a 10-40% feminine / 90%-60% masculine state of being.
Modern women have discarded their femininity. Women haven't been fighting for equal rights, they've been fighting to become men. The west has become men with male reproductive organs and men with female reproductive organs. Men are flocking to eastern Europe, Latin America and Asia to find the last remnants of women on this planet.
I loved how you painted your mysogny with your I want to help women paint lmao No one should "lead" the relationship its not a work place its called being partners which means you are equals lol
This was PHENOMENAL! I LOVE this woman... What a precious being. 🙏🏼💕 Her ability to elucidate so succinctly her points in such a 'masculine' results-oriented clarity with such a 'feminine' warmth of heart and richness of in-the-moment experience was truly inspiring. I'm collecting feminine/balanced heroes and heroines to inspire my own balance and fullest self-expression, and she's just made top of my list.
2 minutes in & I already love her & her precision on the perspectives of these polar opposite energies. I prefer both in living life, with a heavier lean towards the feminine experience 💗
Feminine energy doesn't exist in western countries. Western women have always aspired to become men and have eliminated feminine energy in the process.
@@warrenbuffet5152 I agree that this is the modern movement, but unless you’ve met every Western woman, I’m not sure if you can say that definitely. I’ve met many feminine women that live in the West and I preach femininity, so we aren’t all drinking the...
@@TheFemininePrincess They are exceptions to the rule and not the rule. There is no incentive for western women to be women anymore. Western women are economically independent and can obtain all the validation that they want on social media. The average man is more feminine than women these days.
@@warrenbuffet5152 I agree, this is sad and is why it’s crucial for feminine leaders to help restore true womanhood, by living it and sharing with others. If you know if any woman that’s interested, curious, or just wants a different way of living, please share my channel with them 🌷🌷🌷
This is amazing. I love your voice. You speak of important matters in a friendly, welcoming tone that allows us to look into ourselves, zero judgement. I needed to hear this in these words to know that I'm not lost to want to attend to my femininity in a world that expects me to produce results.
Siyabonga Motsuenyane - yes indeed. And power to you in that pursuit. Ironically, I find that the more I embrace my femininity in business and approach it from a place of honouring and enjoying the experience for its own sake, the more powerfully productive I become... Reaching for results alone only stifled me and I had nothing of real value to offer. Results but no substance.
@II ᛋᛋ-Panzer Corps This doesn't make sense. One doesn't have to be better than the other in order for them to be attracted? And what attraction would non-tangible subjects need?
I seriously just contemplated the difference between creating and producing, because creating is used as feminine, and producing used as masculine The definition explained in the beginning of the video covered it Thank you
For better or for worse, femininity has become a sort of social short hand for weakness...weakness by another name. Before concepts of masculine and feminine can be reclaimed, we need to define what they are, because there are actual differences between the sexes. We need to be able to say what is a masculine trait and what is a feminine trait... a liberated woman is not necessarily a masculine one. In fact, masculine women are those women who threaten men the most.
We don't need to define traits for different genders. Other than hormonal and physical differences, there are no traits unless you mean we should define what is culturally feminine or masculine (I wouldn't agree with you on doing that). I agree that women don't have to be masculine, because it doesn't really matter. I think it's a problem when people think women have to be feminine and males must be masculine though, because it limits the freedom of evolution. Attractive traits should be chosen for success rate, not for something defined by older generations because they felt like it.
Melody, I you talk about cultural masculinity and femininity, while I think Morrigan are talking from a biological perspective. Actually, you should look into biological fitness theory, I think you will find it very interesting. Many cultural norms have roots in our biology, but have been tweaked over the centuries, and even changed and corrupted the underlying reason. :) Personally, I think of it as a natural sliding scale, where one side is masculine, and the other is feminine. Or a pie chart, if you will. I think masculine traits are biologically more common to (but not limited to) men, and femininity more with women. Most women tend to be more feminine than masculine, while the opposite is true for men. Now think of the sliding scale/pie chart. You can have a man who is 70% masculine, and 30% feminine in his personal nature. This means he tends to experience life more through the masculine side than the feminine, but he is able to use both energies. He tend to be happier when the uses more masculine than feminine energy. He will probably pair best with a partner who is 70% feminine, and 30% masculine. They will compliment each other, their 'roles' will come naturally, and they will have less fights. Of course, you can have a woman who is 50/50, or 70% masculine and 30% feminine. It is more about the majority, rather than the culturally exaggerated gender roles. I think most people will be happiest, when they follow their own nature. The problem occurs when only one energy is valued and the other looked down upon, since this creates an imbalance, and denies people their ability to be in touch with both energies. This will create unstable and unhappy people.
Melody, The conversation is not about how people are "supposed to" behave based on their gender. It's about understanding a fundamental abstract duality that in underlying in nature, biology, and even mythology. We all should strive to understand masculinity and femininity so that we can bring it into balance within ourselves and as a result, society at large. This "balance" and manifestations of your masculine and feminine will look different for everyone. FIrst we must understand the language of masculinity and femininity.
a study of the sympathetic vs. parasympathetic nervous system is a good place to start. the descriptions which define these contracting elements of human physiology are a good example for understanding what is feminine and masculine.
She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in double thickness. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. - The Proverbs 31 women of the Christian Bible (and Jewish or Messianic Jewish Tanakh) is fully feminine but not at all weak or lacking ambition. She is also adored and worthy of the husbands LOVE and his willingness to lay down his life (WILLING TO DIE FOR HER) because she is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
This is so true! Now, let's go forward from here. I want to be liberated to be more process-oriented as a man. I want society to know that I do not give up my masculinity to let my femininity prosper.
Why is there so many men on here saying "masculine women are a turn off" "i'd never go for a masculine woman".. This was NOT the point of this video at all. I agree with her completely that us women have adapted a lot of masculinity and pushed down our femininity. But why? Like she says we are in a society that does not value feminine qualities, so we have been forced (in order to be independent) to adapt a more masculine way. I have recently had a few years where I have been more masculine overall but am realising that my femininity is divine and I should be nurturing it as well. I think the problem is, we need to do something so society VALUES feminine traits and quality as well on the same level it values masculine qualities. i.e Masculine- getting things done/being logical/powering through/being power full and Feminine - Feeling your emotions/nurturing yourself and others/using you intuitions etc.. Anyway great video!
Femininity isn't possible since women have collectively moved away from a harmonious and symbiotic relationship with men. When women go it alone they really do need to adopt masculine attributes. The whole purpose of "independence" and "liberation" of women is to separate away from men. The goal for women has been stated as "to not need men and to not rely on men" Now men need to figure out how to actually shed women away from depending on us the best we can. How do men get away from liabilities, responsibilites and obligations toward women, particularly when it comes to having to provide resources to women? Women have achieved liberation and now it is up to men to sever any remaining ties. Men are trying to explore how to do this through MGTOW or men going their own way. How can men liberate ourselves and become independent of female dependency?
Beautiful and enlightening sharing abt feminity. thanks so much! Changed me by giving me a clear and understandable example :) thanks for representing modern age feminity, courage and strength!
Thank you! This is so helpful. I juist realised that I do a lot of things a feminine way mostly. While I work in a male job. And I have there the tendency to act that I have to be like my male colleagues and ignore my femininity.
Proper definitions of masculinity and femininity so you’re not confused: Masculine: Emotional consistency and enjoying the process of not feeling much at all. Being in control of one’s thoughts, words, actions at all times. Improving the now exponentially over time. Responsibility, protection, provision. Femininity: It’s all about the NOW, and the EMOTIONS! Emotional intensity and inconsistency, and feeling alive because of it. Allowing ones thoughts, words and behaviors to roam, not being confined by rules or regulations, and following ones heart and emotions freely. Immersing oneself in the experience of things (like she said :)) being carefree and unburdened. When men are masculine, everything simply works in their lives. They have women attracted to them, they become successful more easily, and they get solutions and results for their goals. Wonderful! When women are feminine, life is also simple for them. Everything simply works. They are flexible and submissive and silver platters is natural. Let’s allow women to remain in their femininity, and allow men to understand the amazingness of masculinity.
Lachs geräuchert that’s what’s beautiful. When women are feminine (and it’s not their fault if they are not), they are rulefree AND submissive! ;) I’ll explain why: When they are in love and emotionally free, they stay within the boundaries of the one that they are in love with. And as long as he gives her massive amounts of room to roam with her BFF’s forever in 3 Girls In Love, then she is FREE within that area. Why would she go outside the area of protection and provision?
Destruction will follow. This is why you see an increase in perverts, rapists, terrorists and murders. Saying that men should embrace their femininity only causes destruction in the longterm. Yes, we should encourage them to healthily share their issues and burdens with someone trustworthy in private, but encourage femininity as a general rule? Very bad idea, very bad idea. When a man becomes feminine, his whole world falls apart, because he attracts a masculine woman who is not attracted to him longterm. And he gets pissed when he continuously gets left behind and cheated on. And hurt people hurt people. Trust me. Men neeeeed masculinity, not femininity.
@@WomenofHighValue This woman meant that you must find a balance between the two. Too much of either can lead to you not living a meaningful life. This woman's definitions of femininity is that when you are doing something for the experience of it. Her definition of masculinity is when you are doing something for the result of it. I am speaking on these terms and not of what you personally may be thinking.
This talk has nothing to do with the male/female. Its about balancing the yin and yang. Balancing being and doing in life. I do think some language could have been chosen a little wiser but don't get caught up in the language and miss the message. We should all find a balance in the motivated and results driven "doing" and the experience and soul filling "being" in life. I love this talk. Its made me feel better about leaving fulltime work to explore more of my creative side. I watch it once a month to re-affirm what I'm doing. And I can see a cool new path opening up for me just like she did. Its a very cool and important concept.
Femininity... “for me.” I love how we can just take terms and reassign to them any meaning we find convenient. Femininity has everything to do with being a women. The thing that is ~beautiful~ about femininity is that it is unique to the woman and distinct from the man. If we separate “femininity” from women we are simply talking about a different term.
To be charitable, I suspect it was a nod (consciously or not) to the dominant post modern, radical leftist narrative of society today. To do otherwise and acknowledge and tackle the fundamental differences in the sexes head on may have been too controversial. I mean who wants to be singled out on social media for being unwoke? No more book deals then. So, it's understandable on a personal level, but also results in a talk that dances around some potentially profound insights, without ever confronting the possibilities. The talk is superficially appealing to a broad spectrum of viewpoints, but ultimately shallow and untethered from human experience and reality. It's a half hearted cop out. Unfair to expect anything more from a Ted Talk.
This is why I’ve always made music, most of my life, regardless if anyone listens or likes it. I like it. It makes me feel good, and for some reason seems to give me purpose. 🤙
Also, a testament to how lacking in integrity people are in general. She's so eager to speak in the language du jour for the purpose of acceptance - irrespective of what she knows to be true.
The concepts she is talking about, Experience vs Results, have absolutely nothing to do with what gender you are, and so from that perspective she's being honest. I'm sure you have enjoyed some experience before.
Lovely Princess -- "Femininity isn't a born natural thing it's a feeling and emotion women can harness. Men can harness it too but it's not a popular idea." There are traits that are more common to women than men and vice versa, because we are biologically different. That's the point that is being missed, and it appears to be a war on reality being waged by the left. A war that is foolish, because it can never be won.
She had to brag about the success of her book. It really defeated the entire talk. It implied that femininity is irrelevant unless it leads to more success.
I disagree. In a world that values masculine oriented results, it was important for her to include this because feminine experience alone for its own enjoyment tends to get dismissed from a masculine perspective unless it produces results. She also acknowledged this was her masculine nature pursuing this. I do see your point but I think in her promoting the integration of both feminine AND masculine, she made a better one. ;) It didn't seem like bragging to me at all. She simply states the facts.
Je pense vraiment que (je précise que c'est ma pensée personnelle) beaucoup de femmes méprisent, au fond d'elles, les qualités intrinsèques de la féminité. Many women tend to think that what makes femininity is weakness. That It's far more gratifying to have a masculine drive. That's why I don't believe in feminism. Don't get me wrong. I do believe that past generations did a great job. I can vote today and so on. But I don't think that, as a woman, being like a man is what makes me free.
Feminism doesn't mean that you must be like a man. A society that doesn't value femininity demands that you be like a man. Feminism fights for women to be held as equal in value to men in society. That's a good thing.
Unfortunately, in our society, the consequences and penalties for men to nurture and develop a healthy feminine energy are severe, more so than for women who've developed their masculine energy.
If men are free to be more feminine that would constrain women's freedom. The whole idea is that men must be used to enable female choices at times when femininity is more conveinient for women. Men have the role we've always had i.e. be of use and utility to women so they may have choices in their lives. It's about what women want and how we as a society and as men find a way for women to have whatever it is they want. This can't be done unless men are used to enable it.
Because although we have feminism women are still hard wired to go after men who are masculine and not so in touched with his feminine side. Feminism is only a conivence for women so that’s why it’s better if men remain masculine.
amazing point of view, the compassion have to rise to fill the gap, much derives from it, the most important is happiness, restoring the feminine energy is the key, humans were made to feel and create also
Traditional society solved this problem by teaching men to be masculine and women to be feminine and then they taught each other what it meant to be masculine and feminine through marriage And the marriage was equal The man made the money The woman spent the money The man provided the house The women made the home The man provide the food The women made the meal The man produces results The woman created the experience Just like she said that masculine is result oriented and feminine is experience oriented She got that right, but she tries to separate them from gender and that causes problems when you teach people to go against their nature That’s why men have become more violent and why women have become more suicidal in recent times They’re having to fight an internal battle within themselves which they eventually take out on society as society is clearly what has taught them to be something they’re not Traditional society was a balance between feminine and masculine, if you want to return to that you must teach men to be masculine and women to be feminine instead of trying to teach men and women to go against our nature’s
I don't know why the first thing I thought was Government Programs when hearing Experience versus Results. Because there's always been certain government benefits and programs that seem like they are ineffective in the face of overwhelming evidence, but people feel they should remain unchanged.
i love her voice. it makes me feel so calm. Alot of ppl that i feel calm with share this feminine/experienced based view of life. Thats fasinating to me, and its what ive been missing in my life.
She notes to restore femininity, not to abandon masculinity, which is great. Conservative religion, from what I've experience and seen and read in conservative Christianity, says that femininity belongs only in bed and in the kitchen while everything else in society must, must, be masculine. That makes society drastically out of balance.
Intertesting talk. However, I am baffled by the definition at the beginning: femininity = experiential, masculinity = goal oriented. Where does that come from…?
From her head, where else? Aren't those just regular stereotypes? Just go read her "thriller" and you'll have deeper and enlightened understandings of this creature with nice hair.
What she's sharing can be thought of in the context of of the ANS (autonomic Nervous System) which has two branches: Sympathetic (SNS) associated with activity, reflexive response, motivation, impetus, drive vs. Parasympathetic (PNS) associated with relaxation, pleasure, rest, repair of tissues, digestion, integration (PNS). Each governs vital functions of the organism. Both men and women need to optimize both. These functions, with assigned gender associations have been encoded into esoteric spiritual traditions like yoga and Taoism (and Chinese medicine) so it's nothing new.
Both men and women have masculine and feminine characteristics. Women can and are "goal" oriented and men can be very nurturing. For example isn't fixing dinner "goal" oriented and tending a garden "nurturing"?
Making a diner is to make people happy, and help them to have a great experience. The goal of a gardener is to have a beautiful garden, which is an object, a goal. So it still in the traditional role. But you can do it has you want, because masculinity/femininity aren't about what you do, but for what reason you're doing it. Most cooking in this world is done by women, but most professional cooker are male. Because most women do it to make happy the people they care, while most men cook to be proud of their product, and receive money for it. It just a global tendency, not a limit, but it still true most of the time.
She's lovely, and I was totally into this until 6:35 "I finally let my masculinity in on this writing thing because I'm ambitious and I can't help it.". This seemed inconsistent and almost contradictory with what she was saying. So, taken out of the context of gender as she recommends, just because her definition of femininity isn't data-driven doesn't mean it's inherently unambitious, or that masculinity IS inherently ambitious. Maybe I'm missing this particular point. For example, she could have just really wanted to improve her writing, been more committed to her writing practice, or write more challenging stories. Those are all ambitious, yet experiential, and still in line with her definition of femininity (in that they're not directly results-oriented, but rather more valued for the experience of it). Ambition is usually defined as a strong desire to succeed. I think she and I probably just have different definitions of what it means to be successful, and that's okay. That would also explain why I'm interpreting her statement as odd and inconsistent.
I think I can try to explain why. We have masculinity and femininity. These represent what she is talking about, and one is associated with men, and the other with women. This is because the majority of women are naturally more feminine than masculine, and the majority of men are more masculine than feminine. Here, I am talking on a biological level only, culture is completely excluded. The key here is the majority, and the 'balance' of masculinity and femininity in each person. Think of it as a sliding scale with two sides, or a pie/circle diagram. You can have a woman who is 70% feminine, and 30% masculine in nature. She will most likely be happiest with a guy who is 70% masculine, and 30% feminine. This means, that both people have the ability to tap into either energy, but they are more drawn to one than the other. In this case, their energies match, which make them more compatible, and their roles in the relationship will come relatively natural. If they were both more masculine, there could be more fighting and 'power struggle', and too feminine could mean less succes in more ambitious areas, such as earning a lot of money/carreer ambition. Furthermore, they can help each other tap into their less natural energy. You can of course have someone who is 50/50, or who show the opposite combination than the majority of their gender. This way, it is connected to gender in the sense that each gender trend to be more in one type of energy than the other, though both genders are able to be in both masculine and feminine energy. You tend to be the happiest when you are allowed to follow your own personal masculinity/femininity level, and match best with someone who compliments you. This doesn't mean that every person have a M/F combination that is typical to their gender, and it is only called masculinity/femininity, because it is traditionally connected/more natural (but not limited to) a specific gender. This, it is connected in name and association only. What she is saying is, that society created an imbalance, since it values only masculine energy, while looking down on feminine energy, which causes people to be more unhappy. It is late at night here, so I apologise if my answer is a bit confusing. Let me know if you want me to clarify. :)
I think you misunderstood what she is saying. She is simplifying masculinity and femininity into two distinct and abstract concepts. In this model being ambitious or goal-oriented is masculine. According to her model, you can't exist solely as masculine or feminine. An entirely feminine approach to life would be immersive but directionless, and entirely masculine approach to life would be focused and action-oriented, but lacking the magic and beauty of the moments of life. She "let her masculinity in on it" as in it joined her feminine experience of enjoying writing, but it did not replace it. She is suggesting a balance of both masculine and feminine in your life.
@@acadoe how am I generalizing? girls are always considered to be "delicate" and are labelled as either "cheap" or "valuable" replacing their identities from person to doll
@@acadoe I just want girls to have the right to express their opinions and negative emotions just so they won't have their identities replaced from human to doll
@@fatimahanwaar306 I don't want to argue with you, I was mostly just teasing you, I wasn't being serious. I also don't know your situation and environment, I can say that the women I have had in my life have been free to express themselves no problem and they have had no issues, as far as I know, with having their identities replaced with dolls.
The fact that the speaker casually associates creativity with feminity as a polarised bias and general consensus presiding over her thinking says it all.
An interesting talk and there is a whole other way to, I believe, take an even more complete view of the dichotomy she is talking about. This has nothing to do with gender but rather is about being goal vs process oriented. Goals are great sometimes and sometimes they can waste time and return a result that isn't really what we wanted. Sometimes being process oriented let's ignore goals and focus on improving the skill or process we are working on. Sometimes that returns results beyond what we ever could have attained with being only goal oriented. And sometimes we just fall into lots of practice and don't attain any results. Life if frigging messy and there is no "One Right" way to do anything. I suppose that is part of the joy, terror, frustration and other aspects of living life. Good talk. Stuff to consider.
What are you talking about? She's claiming that everyone acting masculine has got the world all fucked up. It's masculinity bashing. She literally said that men should be more feminine.
Even within men. Imagine that! Even men are worth considering here. Well, thank you for that. I really don't know what to say to such kindness of heart.
Life is an experience that requires results. A good experience is a result. Honestly, it's mind boggling and but tragic for us all how convoluted so many today are. The "education" system, particularly things like identity politics studies are making people less intelligent, men and women alike. The world doesn't have too much masculinity or too much femininity, it has the worst elements of each in excess and a lack of the virtues of both.
Thank you for sharing this amazing video ❣️📸🐱❤😊👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼✨ God bless you. I thank God for your take on femininity. I would like to absorb the key points from this into my own view.
Hi, Michelle Miller. Thank you for this talk - some good 'stuff' in it. Not 'ackshully' being a female myself, I can only speak from observations and not from experience. That said, I would suggest that femininity is not JUST about the experience, but also about 'attitood', character, perceptions of self and a few other aspects of the individual as well. This approach would include whether or not the individual accepts their gender and 'ackshully' CELEBRATES it or not. As I see it, femininity is largely about sensations and emotions and nurturing while masculinity is more about logic, reason and challenges/problem solving. I have NEVER thought that the two genders (And there ARE ONLY two - anything else is simply an individual expression of one or the other.) were intended to be competitive but rather were designed by a much smarter consciousness than mine to be COMPLEMENTARY. Just part of my 0.02. You have a wonderful day. Best wishes. Deas Plant.
The whole goal women have set for themselves is to bring women into forming masculine attributes so they won't need to be complimentary to the masculine and hopefully won't need men. Unfortunatlely men still have obligations and responsibilites toward women that are held to account by women still being a liability to men where as women have none toward and for men. Male liberation is about how to sever away what men are still held to account to owe to women. Only when men are liberated will women's goal be met. Currently men are beginning to support eachother in developing manners to accomplish this. The only problem is that women begin to turn to The State to fill the void and gather what was once individual male responsibilites by demanding what they want instead through the tax base or by forceable transfer of men's individual earnings to women. If men don't marry or have children we can help women be independent and become independent and liberated ourselves.
I love this talk!! I do re-watch this video so many times. I think I came across this talk 2yrs ago, and the idea was just so relevant yet It is still in 2021...
She just cribbed 20% of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. Which is fine, except all she did was ask the question he attempts to answer: "how do you successfully join the objective (what she calls 'goal oriented') with the subjective (her 'experience oriented'). If this TED talk made you hungry for more, read that book.
Hmm, while I think experience-based work is great and all, it kind of feels like she is coming from a place of privilege. Not everyone has the luxury to quit their full time job and start writing. The harsh reality is that many writers are struggling. I know that this isn’t entirely what she meant and that her story is just an example, but I think the better takeaway is to try to figure out what might be missing in one’s life and try to change it (if the person feels unfulfilled). Obviously, I don’t know her personally but based on her speech, it seems she is originally extremely achievement/results-oriented, so it is important for her to find a way to enjoy the experience as well. But there are many people on the other end of the spectrum who wishes to be a bit more achievement/results-oriented. E.g. people trying to get into top notch universities. People looking to lose weight, etc. In any case, I think if/when a person becomes unsatisfied with their life, it’s time to do some objective investigation to see if they are too achievement oriented or experience oriented and bring back what they’re missing out on, which can be either or.
I'm a man that love to feel that feminine energy surging through me and learning everything about a woman it almost feel like I want to inhabit a woman body just to feel what it's like to be a woman
I believe what she is describing as a society being too results-oriented is true with neoliberal countries such as the US and the UK. Others seem to have more balance and less obsessed with the corporate success and self-realisation by climbing the corporate ladder. Interesting talk...
The point is well received and appreciated, but the definitions are not working for me. A woman can't be ambitious without being masculine, and a man can't enjoy the moment without being feminine? It's pretty primitive use of language....but I think I get the inspiration....just work on the definitions.
yeah it's really just pointless to associate it with gender at all and it is just going to make it harder for people to understand each other if you are encouraging women to embrace this but most men won''t be so eager to act this way if it is considered "feminine"
This started out with a very novel and thought provoking perspective (defining femininity and masculinity in this particular way) but then warped into an overly abstract ideal about a society that embraces both masculine and feminine traits without providing any tangible path to getting there.
Experience orientation vs result orientation. Makes sense, though I'd say there is a little more to it. As to society becoming more masculine. Yes women have become quite masculine, but men have in fact been encouraged for quite some time now, to be more like women. Throughout my time in school I found myself constantly at odds with my female teachers because they perceived me as unruly and confrontational. Whilst the girls were constantly encouraged to be more outspoken and self asserting. And it did build their confidence. Right up to the point they were first challenged in an argument and all that confidence crumbled because it was never backed up by anything but empty platitudes. And the one to get blamed was me for being the meanie who challenged them. But of course I should also mention that this wasn't true for all the girls. Some did not back down from the challenge. And it's those I respect. It's not like society isn't trying to make men more feminine. I've been told to get in touch with my emotions, that it's okay to feel vulnerable and to show it, yet whenever I did, I got nothing but sneers and distain from women. Even those who would encourage that very behaviour. Because in their eyes I ceased to be a man and thus I lost my value to society and to them. So no I don't think women want feminine men, they just think they do and then wonder where all the men have gone!
Most women still need masculine men, rather they admit it or not. The pressure to become masculine make most of them stressed and exhausted, so ironically they need masculine containment even more. They have become masculine because they have to, not because they want to, so when you're acting in a weak way, it give them the impression that they will need to be even more masculine to support you. If you're interested in this subject, have you heard about "Teal Swan" ? She has made some videos about femininity/masculinity and how to solve past trauma that prevent you to express it.
I think the idea of assuming that all men must be only masculine & all women must be only feminine is the social construct part. Men tend to gravitate more to being masculine, women tend to gravitate more to femininity. Society as a whole seems to over simplify everything & gloss over subtleties-no matter how powerful & important. It’s perfectly natural to associate masculinity & femininity with gender; what’s unnatural is expecting everyone to conform to those things ubiquitously.
@@KrypticKiss18 True. It doesn't matter what you wear or what your personality is like. If you are young and pretty, men will be attracted to you. It's biological.
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I like the way that she is smiling at what she is saying, even if the audience don't seem to be responding. It's like she doesn't care too much about whether others are judging her and is going to enjoy the experience for herself (kind of like what she is describing).
Detachment from outcomes
Luigi Warning agree with you bro. She is basically saying experience = the now.
Immersing yourself in the now, and forgetting about the past and the future. It’s feminine. And she’s never had it before in her life, and she was emotionally dying as a result.
Masculine men understand that there is a past, present and a future - that life is also about improving the now exponentially over time - which femininity cannot do on their own. Why? Because femininity sacrifices the future for the now. Without masculine men, everything gets screwed.
@@WomenofHighValue you misunderstood embracing femininity with the death of masculinity. both mater. that's her point
Ionescu L what do you mean the death of masculinity?
Because yes. A woman dies inside when she becomes masculine.
Men become alive when they become masculine. They die when they remain in their femininity.
@@WomenofHighValue lol that's completely ridiculous and stupidly old-fashioned.
I love this direction of femininity. I adore the fact that you didn’t say to dress this way, speak this way, or frame this around attracting a man. It is exhausting for me to try to get in touch w my own femininity and to only realize that the advice that is out there basically has the end goal of finding a man. It’s disheartening. Thank you for this!
I have to admit that I do watch those videos about attracting men, but I searched up “femininity” to find some sort of safe space of women who aren’t insecure about their femininity talking about something other than attraction. In a sea of videos about how to dress less masculine, I found this video and this comment section, which was very healing for me. I think your comment best reflects my thought process. It was a beautiful comment so thank you.
@@stop4500 you’re welcome love ❤️
And yet, a feminine woman is the most beautiful thing for a man ;)
@@edgarbenjoseph3879 A lot of men, yes, but let’s not use absolutes. I think a lot of men would be more attractive if they became more in touch with their feminine side too.
@@stop4500 Meh, femininity is not what is attractive in a man. The majority of women want masculine men. Sure in touch with their femininity, but not too much. Women don't go "omg, look how hot this feminine man is" haha
As for men, femininity is incredibly attractive in a woman.
Many women agree with you, trust me, sister.
Max Raider powerful comment here brother! ;)
As a man, I agree with this. I have a passion for learning, and I think it is the femininity in me that drives me. I've been studying Japanese for years, and whenever someone finds out about it, the first thing they ask me is "why are you learning Japanese?" while expecting some sort of logical answer, and my answer is always a surprise for them. I answer "because I wanted to" instead of "because of better job offers" or "more salary" or "more exposure" and they always reply "What? That's a waste of time, you could be learning a more useful language, like French or Chinese". The thing is - learning new things for me has always been for the experience instead of for the results. I've finally been able to point this out after watching this video. Thank you so much! Time to study Esperanto!
Same I'm learning Korean and looking forward to learning Japanese whenever someone asks why I say because I want to and I love the Korean language
I get asked this question very often aswell. I am learning Swedish (because it sounds like a happy language) and Turkish (because I like the structure and vocal harmony) and want to try Finnish now (simply because it's sounds funny and seems to be difficult to learn).
Or that could be because most men are more romantic than women. To see and experience beauty in the mundane. The goal is then to experience the beauty. Which is a side of masculinity that is pushed under the rag. The more gentle side of it.
Eagerness to explore and learn are not feminine traits. The entire modern education system was invented by men. And this system uses teachings made from discoveries made by men throughout history. For the longest time men have been equitable with their female spouse based on no merit at all. Now women have been elevated above men for simply doing the bare minimum that men have been doing for thousands of years. All of this is a result of men's desperation for mates.
Interesting
Equality would have been to equalize feminine and masculine energy. But instead equalizing men and women through a masculine society and structure..
It's called Nature.
Masculine structure forced to subsidize the feminine?
That's the opposite of masculine structure.
Nice try.
Or through a gynocentric worldview...
So true!
My thoughts exactly!
I don't think it's men's fault that current social structures such as the economy rewards hard work, competition and ability to meet consumerist demand on mass scale. This ultimately drives societal development in the quickest way possible. Otherwise we'd still be hundreds of years behind in technology.
I'm waiting to hear the functional alternatives that can achieve the same amount of societal progress without compromising meritorcracy. It would be great if we could better cater to female traits, but development has no care for this.
Yin and Yang as a concept helps in understanding the duality of existence. Femininity and masculinity are another way of thinking about Yin and Yang. It is a duality of energies and both energies are in each person. The energy that is more prevalent in women has been labelled feminine but many women have a dominant energy that is labelled masculine
If we use these words, the extreme left and extreme right can't even counter.
Thank you for saying this. I believe that people would understand this better if it is put this way. Explaining things as feminine or masculine polarizes people.
I've found that balance is always the answer to a lot of world problems.
It's why I love the concept of Yin and Yang very much.
Thank you. I am glad someone in this world does understand that these different energies and aura don't have to do anything with the feminine or masculine. Women and men are biologically different but not how they approach things and feel. Both of them can have mixed traits which are typically associated with one gender. People can be complex and a lot different from how limited we know about them and perceive in the same way. Both energies and traits can be in a person, it's just a matter of the influence of culture that we divide both genders in conventional ways.
I like how you mention "in each person". A lot of people believe that somehow we could exist with only men being masculine and only women being feminine. The concept of yin and yang would best be applied at the individual level.
Unbelievable. This was absolutely fantastic. One of the best talks I've ever heard. Women joining the workplace is a beautiful thing and having the opportunity to use their masculinity is fantastic! It's just unfortunate we never had the chance to sit down and talk about what it meant for women. In a results-oriented world (that has lifted billions out of poverty!!), women are putting themselves in a masculine system and it can be too much for some of them. Or it's just that when they are outside of work, they want to be in their feminine energy even more! Some will stay in their masculine, resent men, and not actually feel good about life. Some women truly are more masculine, but it's likely that most women feel more in-tune with spending most of their day in their feminine.
As a dominant man who has dated a lot of career-driven, alpha women, all of them have wanted me to be mostly in my masculine when we are together (and them in their feminine). They've all told me something along the lines, "I enjoy my work, but when I leave work, I don't want to control everything. I just want to experience life and have a masculine person lead our relationship."
And while we're in this conversation, it seems to me that more women should try to be more in touch with their femininity as well as men! I think a lot of toxic masculinity stems from men denying their feminine side. That doesn't mean they need to become fully feminine (though they can if that's how their true self enjoys being), but most men should probably fit in a 10-40% feminine / 90%-60% masculine state of being.
Modern women have discarded their femininity. Women haven't been fighting for equal rights, they've been fighting to become men. The west has become men with male reproductive organs and men with female reproductive organs. Men are flocking to eastern Europe, Latin America and Asia to find the last remnants of women on this planet.
@@warrenbuffet5152 Not entirely true.
I loved how you painted your mysogny with your I want to help women paint lmao
No one should "lead" the relationship its not a work place its called being partners which means you are equals lol
This was PHENOMENAL! I LOVE this woman... What a precious being. 🙏🏼💕
Her ability to elucidate so succinctly her points in such a 'masculine' results-oriented clarity with such a 'feminine' warmth of heart and richness of in-the-moment experience was truly inspiring. I'm collecting feminine/balanced heroes and heroines to inspire my own balance and fullest self-expression, and she's just made top of my list.
2 minutes in & I already love her & her precision on the perspectives of these polar opposite energies. I prefer both in living life, with a heavier lean towards the feminine experience 💗
Nice, so do my neighbours, they sit around all day drinking and smoking. Welfare bums.
Feminine energy doesn't exist in western countries. Western women have always aspired to become men and have eliminated feminine energy in the process.
@@warrenbuffet5152 I agree that this is the modern movement, but unless you’ve met every Western woman, I’m not sure if you can say that definitely. I’ve met many feminine women that live in the West and I preach femininity, so we aren’t all drinking the...
@@TheFemininePrincess They are exceptions to the rule and not the rule. There is no incentive for western women to be women anymore. Western women are economically independent and can obtain all the validation that they want on social media. The average man is more feminine than women these days.
@@warrenbuffet5152 I agree, this is sad and is why it’s crucial for feminine leaders to help restore true womanhood, by living it and sharing with others. If you know if any woman that’s interested, curious, or just wants a different way of living, please share my channel with them 🌷🌷🌷
Bravo Michelle! An excellent TED talk about something our society needs to fix soon or we'll only get further out of balance.
forever one of my favorite ted talks. she is so well spoken & the message is gold
This is amazing. I love your voice. You speak of important matters in a friendly, welcoming tone that allows us to look into ourselves, zero judgement. I needed to hear this in these words to know that I'm not lost to want to attend to my femininity in a world that expects me to produce results.
Siyabonga Motsuenyane - yes indeed. And power to you in that pursuit. Ironically, I find that the more I embrace my femininity in business and approach it from a place of honouring and enjoying the experience for its own sake, the more powerfully productive I become... Reaching for results alone only stifled me and I had nothing of real value to offer. Results but no substance.
Wow. This was really insightful. Helped me understand the current experience-centered wave going on in therapy and counseling.
Minsoo Khang can you elaborate on that? Ivan curious
we need to equalize femininity and masculinity
Femininity doesn't exist anymore. Western women eliminated femininity because they always wanted to be men.
@Vishnu 卍 I never said get rid of either I said equalize both in a healthy matter
@Warren buffet femininity doesn't exist in the west anymore because men like you degraded it's worth
@II ᛋᛋ-Panzer Corps This doesn't make sense. One doesn't have to be better than the other in order for them to be attracted? And what attraction would non-tangible subjects need?
Equalize? You mean balance right? cause the way I understood her talk it we need to balance both femininity and masculinity traits.
Femininity is power not weakness. It makes the heart soft, it influences others and it adds beauty to everything it touches
Lots of people in the comments missing the point.
I seriously just contemplated the difference between creating and producing, because creating is used as feminine, and producing used as masculine
The definition explained in the beginning of the video covered it
Thank you
For better or for worse, femininity has become a sort of social short hand for weakness...weakness by another name. Before concepts of masculine and feminine can be reclaimed, we need to define what they are, because there are actual differences between the sexes. We need to be able to say what is a masculine trait and what is a feminine trait... a liberated woman is not necessarily a masculine one. In fact, masculine women are those women who threaten men the most.
We don't need to define traits for different genders. Other than hormonal and physical differences, there are no traits unless you mean we should define what is culturally feminine or masculine (I wouldn't agree with you on doing that). I agree that women don't have to be masculine, because it doesn't really matter. I think it's a problem when people think women have to be feminine and males must be masculine though, because it limits the freedom of evolution. Attractive traits should be chosen for success rate, not for something defined by older generations because they felt like it.
Melody, I you talk about cultural masculinity and femininity, while I think Morrigan are talking from a biological perspective. Actually, you should look into biological fitness theory, I think you will find it very interesting. Many cultural norms have roots in our biology, but have been tweaked over the centuries, and even changed and corrupted the underlying reason. :)
Personally, I think of it as a natural sliding scale, where one side is masculine, and the other is feminine. Or a pie chart, if you will. I think masculine traits are biologically more common to (but not limited to) men, and femininity more with women. Most women tend to be more feminine than masculine, while the opposite is true for men.
Now think of the sliding scale/pie chart. You can have a man who is 70% masculine, and 30% feminine in his personal nature. This means he tends to experience life more through the masculine side than the feminine, but he is able to use both energies. He tend to be happier when the uses more masculine than feminine energy. He will probably pair best with a partner who is 70% feminine, and 30% masculine. They will compliment each other, their 'roles' will come naturally, and they will have less fights.
Of course, you can have a woman who is 50/50, or 70% masculine and 30% feminine. It is more about the majority, rather than the culturally exaggerated gender roles. I think most people will be happiest, when they follow their own nature. The problem occurs when only one energy is valued and the other looked down upon, since this creates an imbalance, and denies people their ability to be in touch with both energies. This will create unstable and unhappy people.
Melody, The conversation is not about how people are "supposed to" behave based on their gender. It's about understanding a fundamental abstract duality that in underlying in nature, biology, and even mythology. We all should strive to understand masculinity and femininity so that we can bring it into balance within ourselves and as a result, society at large. This "balance" and manifestations of your masculine and feminine will look different for everyone. FIrst we must understand the language of masculinity and femininity.
@@MelodyLiuJade
That's right: definition comes from nature and god; there is no need to define
a study of the sympathetic vs. parasympathetic nervous system is a good place to start. the descriptions which define these contracting elements of human physiology are a good example for understanding what is feminine and masculine.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in double thickness.
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
- The Proverbs 31 women of the Christian Bible (and Jewish or Messianic Jewish Tanakh) is fully feminine but not at all weak or lacking ambition. She is also adored and worthy of the husbands LOVE and his willingness to lay down his life (WILLING TO DIE FOR HER) because she is
far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
Utterly gorgeous woman and amazing speaker. Great style, and approach.
This is so true! Now, let's go forward from here. I want to be liberated to be more process-oriented as a man. I want society to know that I do not give up my masculinity to let my femininity prosper.
Experiences are what life is all about - and femininity is all about life! Brilliant!!!
Why is there so many men on here saying "masculine women are a turn off" "i'd never go for a masculine woman".. This was NOT the point of this video at all.
I agree with her completely that us women have adapted a lot of masculinity and pushed down our femininity. But why? Like she says we are in a society that does not value feminine qualities, so we have been forced (in order to be independent) to adapt a more masculine way. I have recently had a few years where I have been more masculine overall but am realising that my femininity is divine and I should be nurturing it as well. I think the problem is, we need to do something so society VALUES feminine traits and quality as well on the same level it values masculine qualities. i.e Masculine- getting things done/being logical/powering through/being power full and Feminine - Feeling your emotions/nurturing yourself and others/using you intuitions etc..
Anyway great video!
Femininity isn't possible since women have collectively moved away from a harmonious and symbiotic relationship with men. When women go it alone they really do need to adopt masculine attributes. The whole purpose of "independence" and "liberation" of women is to separate away from men. The goal for women has been stated as "to not need men and to not rely on men" Now men need to figure out how to actually shed women away from depending on us the best we can. How do men get away from liabilities, responsibilites and obligations toward women, particularly when it comes to having to provide resources to women? Women have achieved liberation and now it is up to men to sever any remaining ties. Men are trying to explore how to do this through MGTOW or men going their own way. How can men liberate ourselves and become independent of female dependency?
Beautiful and enlightening sharing abt feminity. thanks so much! Changed me by giving me a clear and understandable example :) thanks for representing modern age feminity, courage and strength!
Thank you! This is so helpful. I juist realised that I do a lot of things a feminine way mostly. While I work in a male job. And I have there the tendency to act that I have to be like my male colleagues and ignore my femininity.
This is golden. Thank you so much for sharing this experience!!!!!
She is basically talking about Shiva and Shakti. Great talk!
Proper definitions of masculinity and femininity so you’re not confused:
Masculine: Emotional consistency and enjoying the process of not feeling much at all. Being in control of one’s thoughts, words, actions at all times. Improving the now exponentially over time. Responsibility, protection, provision.
Femininity: It’s all about the NOW, and the EMOTIONS! Emotional intensity and inconsistency, and feeling alive because of it. Allowing ones thoughts, words and behaviors to roam, not being confined by rules or regulations, and following ones heart and emotions freely. Immersing oneself in the experience of things (like she said :)) being carefree and unburdened.
When men are masculine, everything simply works in their lives. They have women attracted to them, they become successful more easily, and they get solutions and results for their goals. Wonderful!
When women are feminine, life is also simple for them. Everything simply works. They are flexible and submissive and silver platters is natural.
Let’s allow women to remain in their femininity, and allow men to understand the amazingness of masculinity.
Lachs geräuchert that’s what’s beautiful.
When women are feminine (and it’s not their fault if they are not), they are rulefree AND submissive! ;) I’ll explain why:
When they are in love and emotionally free, they stay within the boundaries of the one that they are in love with. And as long as he gives her massive amounts of room to roam with her BFF’s forever in 3 Girls In Love, then she is FREE within that area.
Why would she go outside the area of protection and provision?
Thank you for this post 💗
This is beautiful. I hope we reach a point in which men can feel liberated to experience femininity.
Destruction will follow. This is why you see an increase in perverts, rapists, terrorists and murders.
Saying that men should embrace their femininity only causes destruction in the longterm.
Yes, we should encourage them to healthily share their issues and burdens with someone trustworthy in private, but encourage femininity as a general rule? Very bad idea, very bad idea.
When a man becomes feminine, his whole world falls apart, because he attracts a masculine woman who is not attracted to him longterm. And he gets pissed when he continuously gets left behind and cheated on. And hurt people hurt people.
Trust me. Men neeeeed masculinity, not femininity.
@@WomenofHighValue This woman meant that you must find a balance between the two. Too much of either can lead to you not living a meaningful life.
This woman's definitions of femininity is that when you are doing something for the experience of it. Her definition of masculinity is when you are doing something for the result of it. I am speaking on these terms and not of what you personally may be thinking.
She always smiling and how she speech is warm and matched with the theme, so great
This talk has nothing to do with the male/female. Its about balancing the yin and yang. Balancing being and doing in life. I do think some language could have been chosen a little wiser but don't get caught up in the language and miss the message. We should all find a balance in the motivated and results driven "doing" and the experience and soul filling "being" in life.
I love this talk. Its made me feel better about leaving fulltime work to explore more of my creative side. I watch it once a month to re-affirm what I'm doing. And I can see a cool new path opening up for me just like she did. Its a very cool and important concept.
💫 Love her vibe and her simple explanation about experience and results 🤍
I am one of those results oriented men. low income, blue collar, agriculture lifestyle. THis was a great talk. Very introspection inspiring.
Femininity... “for me.”
I love how we can just take terms and reassign to them any meaning we find convenient. Femininity has everything to do with being a women. The thing that is ~beautiful~ about femininity is that it is unique to the woman and distinct from the man. If we separate “femininity” from women we are simply talking about a different term.
I’m shocked ur comment
does not have more likes
To be charitable, I suspect it was a nod (consciously or not) to the dominant post modern, radical leftist narrative of society today. To do otherwise and acknowledge and tackle the fundamental differences in the sexes head on may have been too controversial. I mean who wants to be singled out on social media for being unwoke? No more book deals then. So, it's understandable on a personal level, but also results in a talk that dances around some potentially profound insights, without ever confronting the possibilities. The talk is superficially appealing to a broad spectrum of viewpoints, but ultimately shallow and untethered from human experience and reality. It's a half hearted cop out. Unfair to expect anything more from a Ted Talk.
Absolutely
This is why I’ve always made music, most of my life, regardless if anyone listens or likes it. I like it. It makes me feel good, and for some reason seems to give me purpose. 🤙
We know we've come to the brave new world when an attractive woman has to apologize for femininity by saying it has "nothing to do with gender."
Also, a testament to how lacking in integrity people are in general. She's so eager to speak in the language du jour for the purpose of acceptance - irrespective of what she knows to be true.
Will Riddle or maybe thats what she actually believes??
The concepts she is talking about, Experience vs Results, have absolutely nothing to do with what gender you are, and so from that perspective she's being honest. I'm sure you have enjoyed some experience before.
How is that an apology as opposed to an observation?
Lovely Princess -- "Femininity isn't a born natural thing it's a feeling and emotion women can harness. Men can harness it too but it's not a popular idea."
There are traits that are more common to women than men and vice versa, because we are biologically different. That's the point that is being missed, and it appears to be a war on reality being waged by the left. A war that is foolish, because it can never be won.
She had to brag about the success of her book. It really defeated the entire talk. It implied that femininity is irrelevant unless it leads to more success.
Kiran Martin true.
It's kinda bragging.
I disagree. In a world that values masculine oriented results, it was important for her to include this because feminine experience alone for its own enjoyment tends to get dismissed from a masculine perspective unless it produces results. She also acknowledged this was her masculine nature pursuing this. I do see your point but I think in her promoting the integration of both feminine AND masculine, she made a better one. ;) It didn't seem like bragging to me at all. She simply states the facts.
Je pense vraiment que (je précise que c'est ma pensée personnelle) beaucoup de femmes méprisent, au fond d'elles, les qualités intrinsèques de la féminité.
Many women tend to think that what makes femininity is weakness. That It's far more gratifying to have a masculine drive.
That's why I don't believe in feminism. Don't get me wrong. I do believe that past generations did a great job. I can vote today and so on. But I don't think that, as a woman, being like a man is what makes me free.
Oui merci beaucoup, je'm bien la francis👒👛🥐☕
If you were in Afghanistan being a man would make you free,look up bacha posh
Feminism doesn't mean that you must be like a man. A society that doesn't value femininity demands that you be like a man. Feminism fights for women to be held as equal in value to men in society. That's a good thing.
Unfortunately, in our society, the consequences and penalties for men to nurture and develop a healthy feminine energy are severe, more so than for women who've developed their masculine energy.
If men are free to be more feminine that would constrain women's freedom. The whole idea is that men must be used to enable female choices at times when femininity is more conveinient for women. Men have the role we've always had i.e. be of use and utility to women so they may have choices in their lives. It's about what women want and how we as a society and as men find a way for women to have whatever it is they want. This can't be done unless men are used to enable it.
Because although we have feminism women are still hard wired to go after men who are masculine and not so in touched with his feminine side. Feminism is only a conivence for women so that’s why it’s better if men remain masculine.
Yesssssss I was feminine this whole time! I LOVVVE FLAVORED COFFEE!!!!
Right! I don’t even LIKE The result!
Where's her proof that anything is masculine or feminine? She sounds like a dingbat to me. Spouting nonsense with no credible arguments of evidence.
amazing point of view, the compassion have to rise to fill the gap, much derives from it, the most important is happiness, restoring the feminine energy is the key, humans were made to feel and create also
Preach girl
Because we can't determine it's value we started treating is as valueless 🙌🏻👌🏻
Traditional society solved this problem by teaching men to be masculine and women to be feminine and then they taught each other what it meant to be masculine and feminine through marriage
And the marriage was equal
The man made the money
The woman spent the money
The man provided the house
The women made the home
The man provide the food
The women made the meal
The man produces results
The woman created the experience
Just like she said that masculine is result oriented and feminine is experience oriented
She got that right, but she tries to separate them from gender and that causes problems when you teach people to go against their nature
That’s why men have become more violent and why women have become more suicidal in recent times
They’re having to fight an internal battle within themselves which they eventually take out on society as society is clearly what has taught them to be something they’re not
Traditional society was a balance between feminine and masculine, if you want to return to that you must teach men to be masculine and women to be feminine instead of trying to teach men and women to go against our nature’s
Wow yesss. Yours is The most
logical post here. Thanks for ur
provision of such content design
to elevate humanity 🙏 it so rare
But we are not moving in that direction and men are suffering under feminism. What is the solution for men?
I don't know why the first thing I thought was Government Programs when hearing Experience versus Results.
Because there's always been certain government benefits and programs that seem like they are ineffective in the face of overwhelming evidence, but people feel they should remain unchanged.
Thank you. I finally found someone that understands me. I feel like crying
i love her voice. it makes me feel so calm. Alot of ppl that i feel calm with share this feminine/experienced based view of life. Thats fasinating to me, and its what ive been missing in my life.
She notes to restore femininity, not to abandon masculinity, which is great. Conservative religion, from what I've experience and seen and read in conservative Christianity, says that femininity belongs only in bed and in the kitchen while everything else in society must, must, be masculine. That makes society drastically out of balance.
Intertesting talk. However, I am baffled by the definition at the beginning: femininity = experiential, masculinity = goal oriented. Where does that come from…?
From her head, where else? Aren't those just regular stereotypes? Just go read her "thriller" and you'll have deeper and enlightened understandings of this creature with nice hair.
@@takeshikodama5671
Those are manosphere stereotypes
Wow Michelle. You have restored my faith in TedTalks. Thanks to you!
If women would discover the power they have inside of them, they have never rejected their femininity.
Armando Almeida the feminine energy in women gives them more power than the masculine energy in them.
This has gotta be one of the best ted talks I have ever seen!
One minute in, all i could think was: "damn, she nailed that definition!"
This made me cry.
Mirasol Moya - this touched me too. Very inspiring. 🙏🏼
I got a good time listen to your talk, good talk with clear points and. Thank you!
What she's sharing can be thought of in the context of of the ANS (autonomic Nervous System) which has two branches:
Sympathetic (SNS) associated with activity, reflexive response, motivation, impetus, drive
vs.
Parasympathetic (PNS) associated with relaxation, pleasure, rest, repair of tissues, digestion, integration (PNS).
Each governs vital functions of the organism. Both men and women need to optimize both. These functions, with assigned gender associations have been encoded into esoteric spiritual traditions like yoga and Taoism (and Chinese medicine) so it's nothing new.
Very well presented. Thank you for this.
Both men and women have masculine and feminine characteristics. Women can and are "goal" oriented and men can be very nurturing. For example isn't fixing dinner "goal" oriented and tending a garden "nurturing"?
Making a diner is to make people happy, and help them to have a great experience. The goal of a gardener is to have a beautiful garden, which is an object, a goal. So it still in the traditional role. But you can do it has you want, because masculinity/femininity aren't about what you do, but for what reason you're doing it.
Most cooking in this world is done by women, but most professional cooker are male. Because most women do it to make happy the people they care, while most men cook to be proud of their product, and receive money for it. It just a global tendency, not a limit, but it still true most of the time.
Great work #5! Interesting talk and I thought the analogy was quite perfect!
She's lovely, and I was totally into this until 6:35 "I finally let my masculinity in on this writing thing because I'm ambitious and I can't help it.".
This seemed inconsistent and almost contradictory with what she was saying. So, taken out of the context of gender as she recommends, just because her definition of femininity isn't data-driven doesn't mean it's inherently unambitious, or that masculinity IS inherently ambitious. Maybe I'm missing this particular point.
For example, she could have just really wanted to improve her writing, been more committed to her writing practice, or write more challenging stories. Those are all ambitious, yet experiential, and still in line with her definition of femininity (in that they're not directly results-oriented, but rather more valued for the experience of it).
Ambition is usually defined as a strong desire to succeed. I think she and I probably just have different definitions of what it means to be successful, and that's okay. That would also explain why I'm interpreting her statement as odd and inconsistent.
I think I can try to explain why. We have masculinity and femininity. These represent what she is talking about, and one is associated with men, and the other with women. This is because the majority of women are naturally more feminine than masculine, and the majority of men are more masculine than feminine. Here, I am talking on a biological level only, culture is completely excluded.
The key here is the majority, and the 'balance' of masculinity and femininity in each person. Think of it as a sliding scale with two sides, or a pie/circle diagram. You can have a woman who is 70% feminine, and 30% masculine in nature. She will most likely be happiest with a guy who is 70% masculine, and 30% feminine. This means, that both people have the ability to tap into either energy, but they are more drawn to one than the other. In this case, their energies match, which make them more compatible, and their roles in the relationship will come relatively natural. If they were both more masculine, there could be more fighting and 'power struggle', and too feminine could mean less succes in more ambitious areas, such as earning a lot of money/carreer ambition. Furthermore, they can help each other tap into their less natural energy.
You can of course have someone who is 50/50, or who show the opposite combination than the majority of their gender. This way, it is connected to gender in the sense that each gender trend to be more in one type of energy than the other, though both genders are able to be in both masculine and feminine energy. You tend to be the happiest when you are allowed to follow your own personal masculinity/femininity level, and match best with someone who compliments you. This doesn't mean that every person have a M/F combination that is typical to their gender, and it is only called masculinity/femininity, because it is traditionally connected/more natural (but not limited to) a specific gender. This, it is connected in name and association only.
What she is saying is, that society created an imbalance, since it values only masculine energy, while looking down on feminine energy, which causes people to be more unhappy. It is late at night here, so I apologise if my answer is a bit confusing. Let me know if you want me to clarify. :)
HereIAm247 Thanks so much for your clarification, I really appreciate your time! Very helpful =)
I associate ambition with masculinity because ambition is what you have and what's needed when you're working towards a result. Just my thoughts 🙂
From a biological perspective, unambitious men don't get laid. Men have to be ambitious, take risks, to reproduce, etc.
I think you misunderstood what she is saying. She is simplifying masculinity and femininity into two distinct and abstract concepts. In this model being ambitious or goal-oriented is masculine. According to her model, you can't exist solely as masculine or feminine. An entirely feminine approach to life would be immersive but directionless, and entirely masculine approach to life would be focused and action-oriented, but lacking the magic and beauty of the moments of life. She "let her masculinity in on it" as in it joined her feminine experience of enjoying writing, but it did not replace it. She is suggesting a balance of both masculine and feminine in your life.
This is such a great speech.
You can tell she isn't trying to promote her books because she says she is just doing this all for the experience.
Her voice and the way she speaks is so pretty and gentle.
Most people: girls are made of sugar spice and everything nice
Me: girls are like diamonds beautiful on the outside but tough on the inside
So you and most people like to generalize? ;)
@@acadoe how am I generalizing? girls are always considered to be "delicate" and are labelled as either "cheap" or "valuable" replacing their identities from person to doll
@@fatimahanwaar306 Saying girls are like this or that is generalizing.
@@acadoe I just want girls to have the right to express their opinions and negative emotions just so they won't have their identities replaced from human to doll
@@fatimahanwaar306 I don't want to argue with you, I was mostly just teasing you, I wasn't being serious. I also don't know your situation and environment, I can say that the women I have had in my life have been free to express themselves no problem and they have had no issues, as far as I know, with having their identities replaced with dolls.
The fact that the speaker casually associates creativity with feminity as a polarised bias and general consensus presiding over her thinking says it all.
An interesting talk and there is a whole other way to, I believe, take an even more complete view of the dichotomy she is talking about. This has nothing to do with gender but rather is about being goal vs process oriented. Goals are great sometimes and sometimes they can waste time and return a result that isn't really what we wanted. Sometimes being process oriented let's ignore goals and focus on improving the skill or process we are working on. Sometimes that returns results beyond what we ever could have attained with being only goal oriented. And sometimes we just fall into lots of practice and don't attain any results. Life if frigging messy and there is no "One Right" way to do anything. I suppose that is part of the joy, terror, frustration and other aspects of living life. Good talk. Stuff to consider.
Omg... I'm a masculine woman!!!! I drink fo the EFFECTS!!!!!!
But the effect is feminine in the end as you want to enjoy the state of being drunk or having a hangover.
What, a TEDx video that is not about man-bashing? I'm confused.
Nico Smets 😂 Yeah!
What are you talking about? She's claiming that everyone acting masculine has got the world all fucked up. It's masculinity bashing. She literally said that men should be more feminine.
I think she was just saying that both are important, was expecting her to say what you said though.
This shall always remain as one of my favourite ted talks.👌💚🙏
Thanks for a better explanation.
Even within men. Imagine that! Even men are worth considering here. Well, thank you for that. I really don't know what to say to such kindness of heart.
Life is an experience that requires results. A good experience is a result. Honestly, it's mind boggling and but tragic for us all how convoluted so many today are. The "education" system, particularly things like identity politics studies are making people less intelligent, men and women alike. The world doesn't have too much masculinity or too much femininity, it has the worst elements of each in excess and a lack of the virtues of both.
Thank you for sharing this amazing video ❣️📸🐱❤😊👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼✨ God bless you. I thank God for your take on femininity. I would like to absorb the key points from this into my own view.
Hi, Michelle Miller.
Thank you for this talk - some good 'stuff' in it.
Not 'ackshully' being a female myself, I can only speak from observations and not from experience. That said, I would suggest that femininity is not JUST about the experience, but also about 'attitood', character, perceptions of self and a few other aspects of the individual as well. This approach would include whether or not the individual accepts their gender and 'ackshully' CELEBRATES it or not.
As I see it, femininity is largely about sensations and emotions and nurturing while masculinity is more about logic, reason and challenges/problem solving. I have NEVER thought that the two genders (And there ARE ONLY two - anything else is simply an individual expression of one or the other.) were intended to be competitive but rather were designed by a much smarter consciousness than mine to be COMPLEMENTARY.
Just part of my 0.02.
You have a wonderful day. Best wishes. Deas Plant.
The whole goal women have set for themselves is to bring women into forming masculine attributes so they won't need to be complimentary to the masculine and hopefully won't need men. Unfortunatlely men still have obligations and responsibilites toward women that are held to account by women still being a liability to men where as women have none toward and for men. Male liberation is about how to sever away what men are still held to account to owe to women. Only when men are liberated will women's goal be met. Currently men are beginning to support eachother in developing manners to accomplish this. The only problem is that women begin to turn to The State to fill the void and gather what was once individual male responsibilites by demanding what they want instead through the tax base or by forceable transfer of men's individual earnings to women. If men don't marry or have children we can help women be independent and become independent and liberated ourselves.
Thank you.
I am very pleased to have stumbled across this talk, thanks!
Thank you for restoring my confidence in me.
I love this talk!! I do re-watch this video so many times. I think I came across this talk 2yrs ago, and the idea was just so relevant yet It is still in 2021...
She just cribbed 20% of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. Which is fine, except all she did was ask the question he attempts to answer: "how do you successfully join the objective (what she calls 'goal oriented') with the subjective (her 'experience oriented').
If this TED talk made you hungry for more, read that book.
When you are happy from within it's natural❤
Hmm, while I think experience-based work is great and all, it kind of feels like she is coming from a place of privilege. Not everyone has the luxury to quit their full time job and start writing. The harsh reality is that many writers are struggling. I know that this isn’t entirely what she meant and that her story is just an example, but I think the better takeaway is to try to figure out what might be missing in one’s life and try to change it (if the person feels unfulfilled).
Obviously, I don’t know her personally but based on her speech, it seems she is originally extremely achievement/results-oriented, so it is important for her to find a way to enjoy the experience as well. But there are many people on the other end of the spectrum who wishes to be a bit more achievement/results-oriented. E.g. people trying to get into top notch universities. People looking to lose weight, etc.
In any case, I think if/when a person becomes unsatisfied with their life, it’s time to do some objective investigation to see if they are too achievement oriented or experience oriented and bring back what they’re missing out on, which can be either or.
I'm a man that love to feel that feminine energy surging through me and learning everything about a woman it almost feel like I want to inhabit a woman body just to feel what it's like to be a woman
I believe what she is describing as a society being too results-oriented is true with neoliberal countries such as the US and the UK. Others seem to have more balance and less obsessed with the corporate success and self-realisation by climbing the corporate ladder.
Interesting talk...
Interesting take.. loved the talk, very concise and to the point
The point is well received and appreciated, but the definitions are not working for me. A woman can't be ambitious without being masculine, and a man can't enjoy the moment without being feminine? It's pretty primitive use of language....but I think I get the inspiration....just work on the definitions.
yeah it's really just pointless to associate it with gender at all and it is just going to make it harder for people to understand each other if you are encouraging women to embrace this but most men won''t be so eager to act this way if it is considered "feminine"
experiencing vs wanting results
Interesting and makes sense
Outstanding and VERY important!
Love this and her!!
Everything she’s saying is true.
This started out with a very novel and thought provoking perspective (defining femininity and masculinity in this particular way) but then warped into an overly abstract ideal about a society that embraces both masculine and feminine traits without providing any tangible path to getting there.
Wow, she is articulate...
Thank you 💕
Experience orientation vs result orientation. Makes sense, though I'd say there is a little more to it.
As to society becoming more masculine. Yes women have become quite masculine, but men have in fact been encouraged for quite some time now, to be more like women. Throughout my time in school I found myself constantly at odds with my female teachers because they perceived me as unruly and confrontational. Whilst the girls were constantly encouraged to be more outspoken and self asserting. And it did build their confidence. Right up to the point they were first challenged in an argument and all that confidence crumbled because it was never backed up by anything but empty platitudes. And the one to get blamed was me for being the meanie who challenged them. But of course I should also mention that this wasn't true for all the girls. Some did not back down from the challenge. And it's those I respect. It's not like society isn't trying to make men more feminine.
I've been told to get in touch with my emotions, that it's okay to feel vulnerable and to show it, yet whenever I did, I got nothing but sneers and distain from women. Even those who would encourage that very behaviour. Because in their eyes I ceased to be a man and thus I lost my value to society and to them. So no I don't think women want feminine men, they just think they do and then wonder where all the men have gone!
Most women still need masculine men, rather they admit it or not. The pressure to become masculine make most of them stressed and exhausted, so ironically they need masculine containment even more. They have become masculine because they have to, not because they want to, so when you're acting in a weak way, it give them the impression that they will need to be even more masculine to support you.
If you're interested in this subject, have you heard about "Teal Swan" ? She has made some videos about femininity/masculinity and how to solve past trauma that prevent you to express it.
@@gauthierloustaunau5396 I'll look into it, when I get the time. Thanks
Has Michelle written a research paper on this subject? Would love to read!
I think the idea of assuming that all men must be only masculine & all women must be only feminine is the social construct part. Men tend to gravitate more to being masculine, women tend to gravitate more to femininity. Society as a whole seems to over simplify everything & gloss over subtleties-no matter how powerful & important. It’s perfectly natural to associate masculinity & femininity with gender; what’s unnatural is expecting everyone to conform to those things ubiquitously.
Women are not all the same ...
neither are men different strokes but isn't that obvious.....
Yes biologically all the same
Qonita BadegesTM thank you
when it comes to the relationship world nothing will matter to men till u get rid of feminism
We are on a sliding scale..some women are more feminine than others just as some men are more masculine than others.
Simple!
Likes vs dislikes is overwhelming. Men love feminine women. And I mean LOVE.
Bruce Lee Nah. They like hot women. Hot women look good even in boy’s clothes. Unattractive women look bad period
@@KrypticKiss18 True. It doesn't matter what you wear or what your personality is like. If you are young and pretty, men will be attracted to you. It's biological.
Chloe2000 yep. But behind every beautiful woman is a man tired of screwing her.