Is He The Right Man For You? KNOW THIS!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ส.ค. 2023
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One day, I had a crappy feeling. My boyfriend, at that time, was not giving me attention. So, I thought to myself, he needs motivation. I put on a song on my cellphone and go to him with a fun attitude. We listened to the song while sitting down and he is smiling and we are sharing this happy moment. It is mutual. It is together. It is not one-sided, at all. This is what I mean when I say, "love doesn't just happen. It takes wanting to have fun." It can be a family outing (my long lost cousin and me, in 2022). It can be dreaming together about going fishing (my husband, this year.) And, it can be a simple little thing as listening to a song across a table or beside each other on a loveseat.
Men are gate keepers for commitment and women are gate keepers for sex. Wow. He is so good at explaining courting dynamics
I met my man online, we’re very happy, live together and have been together 15 months. He’s older and shorter than I prefer, yet here we are. It’s all about timing, most people on line aren’t able or ready to date (that doesn’t make them horrible people!), all it takes is one.
Indeed
I met a divorced guy at my workplace. He is 56 years old. I'm 49 years old. Dude tells me that I'm too old for him. This offended me. I guess he'll be single forever.
@@LaoSoftware Why was that offensive to you?
@@LaoSoftware Some Older men think they deserve a younger woman, Really? Are they such a prize, themselves? 9/10, nope! Go figure.
There seems to be a false belief that online = unhealthy, poor character, yet meeting in person somehow only presents healthy, good character people…not true!
Indeed
Maybe there is no right or wrong person exactly....people just decide to be together or to not be.
Exactly
My 1st date in 29 yrs after divorce. We talked about heavy stuff. Including why we both divorced. He asked ME what I had done to heal after he told me what he had done. I didn’t know men in their 40’s would talk about personal healing/growth on a first face to face. (4 weeks of text/phone calls).
It was refreshing to have men cut to the chase sooner rather than later.
Gratitude is a magnetic force for getting what we want/ need AMEN Jonathan
Exactly
Your honesty about yourself is amazing. Learning about relationships has taught me alot. That is why I'm concentrating on my own healing journey, so later I can have a better relationship. So thank you.😊
Awe... thank you 😊
West Aus 🇦🇺 listener
Thanks for the videos Jonathon, i do like hearing some home truths esp as so many of us women think our s..t doesn't stink...
I do try to take on board good advice, so thank you.
Stay strong, keep going with your words of wisdom & in the words of an Aussie "Cheers" 🍻
Thank you for your content for older women.
Glad you like them!
Hi everyone, my comment is this - He's right, when we are communicating online with a man and things don't work out the way we hoped, it's not the end of the world. Don't take it so personally. Just move on, if you have the desire to do so. I will share that during my time on a certain site where we women have the power to say no thanks..... I have had men sending me naked pics while we are on our FIRST phone call. I've all sorts of weird suggestions come my way. Jonathon is right, move on, forgive the poor guy (cause he will probably never meet anyone with the weird behavior he has or - he doesn't really want some one in his life anyway. He just gets his kicks being weird. Stay positive, know your worth, and don't settle.
I wait at least 3 months before being intimate with someone. This weeds out the users and losers. However, that didn't keep me from getting married to a covert narcissist because I didn't know what one was.
Thanks for candidly sharing your own experiences, even at the expense of being scrutinized. So many coaches and relationship talking heads keep their own experiences close to the chest, and we have no idea whether their advice is just theory or concrete. It also demonstrates that love comes with no guarantees. At the end of the day, we all have to be willing to take reasonable risks for worthwhile experiences.
Thank you for SEEING me...
Good show! In watching the rerun, I find Rachel to be adorable, open, honest and vulnerable. I understand her concern regarding the "who filed first comment." It absolutely is valid and something the other party has a right to know, but on a first date i think certain inquiries should be held to a future time as initially they may cause premature defensiveness and lead to unnecessary negativity. I hope to see Rachel on future episodes as she provides a mirror of some of the real life situations women deal with. 😊
The only reason to improve yourself is for yourself. Nothing external.
To find ones (my) soulmate at my age (66) is fantastic and thank you for your terrific videos, Jonathon.
I might be joining the 20% group that have a healthy and sustainable relation, yes.
Hi Jonathon!❤. You were so formal tonight, but right on point as always. Great live!!❤
I try
Thank you so much for your videos Johnathon. I have watched a lot of them and they help a lot.. seems like I’m always attracting emotionally unavailable ones though.
Glad you like them!
This was very interesting! Thank you for doing your best to be real!
Glad you enjoyed it!
That is so true Jonathon ❤
Your videos are always spot on!!!! It seems like the people we are most physically attracted to, have the most disastrous endings.
Yep
That seems to be really true.
Wow. Yes.
❤Thankyou & Amen 😅😊 share this and write down some good jucy tips. Thanks for making clear the reality. Like the good hearted lion 🦁 you are100%. So much to be grateful of is a good intention start in the morning & good night routine. Take care 🤗🎶📚
Ease into new love. Yes! Big hug your doing it! In my world it is “REALLY” raining amazing men!
Grateful to you!
Chaste for now😊
Yes! Thank you!
Jonathan, I love all your videos. You are a realistic ❤️. You tell us from a man's standpoint...thank you. I've read two books, Eight Dates , What the Heck is Self -Love Anyway and working on others. Are you the one for me.
So true ❤️🫶🏼 Your amazing Joanthon
There’s no reason to be online and meet people who are geographically undesirable…limit the geographic area on who the app presents. Long distance sucks…I never was open to it, I’m allergic to complexity lol
Indeed
I did the work
But I’m
not dipping my toe into
the dating pool. Too dysfunctional. No
Love is better then the love I
have for myself .I am happier flying solo. ❤️
Good Talk.
I agree with Jonathan that most people online a very wounded. Go outside and meet people, healthy people.
Wounded people IRL too
It’s always a great day that in which “the police, a doctor, or lawyer ain’t called” ;) hahahhaha so true! I’m a Leo,and love watching everyone’s perception of each other and their relationships and your take on it!
That’s the situation I had the police and a lawyer were called . He was too dangerous , I was so in love with him though .
Blazer looks good too. This video was hilarious! Amen!
Glad you enjoyed!
Jonathon ❤ your spirit! Great podcast very helpful for my daughter and l thank you! ❤❤❤❤!
You are so welcome
Completely disagree with the statement "every woman thinks they are a 7,8,9....".... Use caution when saying "every"
Correct... most, not every.
i want to thank you for this content too... I'm 43, recently divorced, single for 3 years and just plucked up courage to start dating. it's as of this content were made just for me. thanks
Happy to help ☺️
also i'd like to say something, i have noticed in a lot of your videos you say that men don't tend to file for divorce... mine did. it can be many different reasons... it wasn't infidelity or anything in particular, he just wanted a new life and to be single... marriage was not for him. there are many men who go through a mid life crisis and feel miserable in a marriage where the desire fades... they imagine that they can just jump back to being 25 if they just get divorced... in France where I live over 50% of everyone in my age bracket is divorced with kids they share the responsibility so everyone becomes single and free 50% of their time and most are just looking for the hook up friends with benefits thing (men and women equally) because their life got so heavy and complicated in their marriages... especially since the pandemic which made divorce skyrocket. love your work Jonathan@@JonathonAslay
Big hug❤
🫂
I don’t complain - except for the fish, lol!
Foregiveness allows acceptance of ourselves to flourish.
I think we (people) value ourselves higher, not based on looks alone. We already know ourselves and what we're capable of bringing to the table... they'd be lucky to have us! 🙂 AND YET... when we are looking for a partner, we're primarily basing our decision on looks. Hence, the 5s looking for the 8s and 9s! As for women hanging onto the memories of the previous man... you get used to someone. It's comfortable. Starting again is not. ❤ Great session today, JA.
Good point
Also a great personality does not equal good character
Indeed...
Absolutely.
Love your channel, Jonathon. Glad I found it. Your advice is profound. I actually didn't realize you and Marie broke up. Sorry:( I hope you are doing ok. I am going to say something triggering...some of the judgmental comments from your other female viewers about your break-up with Marie are NOT cool. Many of these women are delusional and pick the wrong men and need to look at their own flaws and issues instead of criticizing your relationship stuff. None of us are perfect and some of your viewers act like they are entitled, self-absorbed, drama queens who think know it all.
Him agreeing to that can be a lie just to get in your pants too.. men can be patient too and that's why I stepped my game up. Not unless I'm ready for marriage.
LOVE the realness and benevolent tough love, Jonathan. You are a treasure.
I appreciate that!
@@JonathonAslay Love the tough love!
I like the lavender shirt you wore
Jonathon you look so good in your sport coat……..Bear hugs for you ❤🌹
😊 thank you
RE: Linda, I dont think she gave the guy power. She asked "where do you SEE this relationship going?" I think that both parties should have an opinion on the matter. For example: I may see myself in a non commital coupling and my partner may want to get married. If our wants do not align, then a discussion is warranted for either a compromise or a breakup.
I have a mark now problem it's internal I do look within.
If you weren’t in Los Angeles, I would go out with you for sure
Awe...
1) Totally I agree with Johnathon about sex is WAYYYYY too easy for men to get when women aren't getting what we want. And don't demand that you make him wait. I've done that before, men are like bumble bees and they will come back to "sting" with certain things in a defensive sense. I feel like it's also in how you say it...
2) I have to disagree a little bit, maybe a few deal breaker questions to get that out the way FAST. Things that are non-negotables get that out the way quick, if theres not already an understanding on where you stand. But there are other things you can learn about someone that takes time.
Things I've shared with people I've dated in the past have been used against me unfortunately...and it was twisted.
3) I just would love to hear from previous people you have coached more than are in a relationship now, just an idea! I loved when a former client of yours came on a few weeks ago i believe that was awesome!
All in moderation
He wanted his cake and eat it too 😂😂😂
Brilliant session, Jonathan. The Hot Seat feature is very helpful to learn from each other. Just bought the book by Barbara De Angelis. Can't wait to dissect it. I was really sorry to hear that you and Marie are no longer together. You made a wonderful couple. Wishing you both strength to pull through this time. xx
Glad it was helpful!
You are right on about them suffering and not getting help from previous marriages and relationships issues.
My salesman ex would always immediately rank women. So as a result, i started doing the same with guys. We were younger and both were 7s.
Johnathon, I like you in both dress up and dress down looks. You have some great T-shirts that have cool wording, plus you get hot 🥵! Mix it up and have comfy days! It’s not what you wear what makes you so wonderful, it’s what you share from your heart, soul and brain!
I appreciate that!
Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Lol 😆
I don’t agree with you 😢
Believe me, they should attracted to the right woman❤
I found you❤
Question:… Why do I keep attach to cruel, emotionally distant men? My dad was nothing on like that, so it cannot be father issues? Now I am stuck in a strange country with someone who does not give a f for intimacy or romance.
How about your mother?
I'm working on my shit too 👀😜
Jonathan, Rachel is ignorant, not “stupid.” Those of us who have stumbled through the dating/relationship landscape are ignorant. I felt “Stupid” was an unkind judgment.
I've heard the saying that oposits attract, what do you think about that saying ? Do you think that's true
Misalignment rarely ever works out...
I've been dating the wrong man all my life I just don't know why
Unhealed wounds
As you get older, fantasy is not in your vocabulary
Only in your dreams
😂
Did she say they haven’t seen each other since 1975 and she expects to get married to him within five days of seeing him then I hear that right no judgment here
They are remembering a past... people change in 48 years
Did you make enough adjustments yourself?
Can you elaborate?
@@JonathonAslay I mean shouldn’t both people make adjustments? It takes two people to compromise in a relationship. I guess one will have to make more than the other but two lives are being meshed together as one in a relationship.
So ask yourself if you made enough adjustments to keep the relationship.
If you didn’t think the adjustment was worth it and wanted to move on, that’s ok too. However, at least you acknowledged it.
@@ceatedbyladyT It's more complicated than what you shared... I'll shoot a video to explain.
@@JonathonAslay I know! I want to write more but this platform is too small. I have done the same work as you since my husband died 13 years ago. I am writing a book about relationships. It’s fiction though.
Hi yes it all makes sence . I was with my guy for 3and half years. I excepted him for how he is. I am a widow he is devorsed we are in our sixtys and he is not very attractive but i care for him alot he broke it up said he cant do it anymore.but i want to continue our relation he calls sometimes he has alot of issues but i still care and want to conti ue is this possible pl helpty
Can we continue a relationship if he maybe does not feel love but does care we have a lot in commen. Pl help ty
Most anything is possible with the right approach...
@@JonathonAslay what is the right approach. Jonathon ? Ty for any help
The cocaine South Americans queens game needs a princess's real prison.
Here are my two cents. I think that you are a good coach and your advice is valuable. But I see that you have a lot of work you need to do on yourself as we all do. Good luck, Jonathon. 57:15 .❤
I know that, too...
We’re you in love with Marie?
I wondered that too. Or was it it lust and limerence not love.
You look very Nice when you dress like that 👍
Oh thank you
Would you only date a women in your area? Long Distance Relationships are hard
It’s a boundary for me. It’s just too difficult 😕
Only if she could spend a lot of time here...
If you had been my man
I’d have adjusted my goals and did everything to stay with you in the relationship!
How do you go about breaking up with someone you’ve been seeing in a long distance relationship? It’s been difficult because I live in Florida
I have family & friends plus I struggle with New York cold weather, I need to think of myself first
Am I correct?
Just tell them...
@@JonathonAslay how are you still friends? Is that ok to remain as friends after being in an intimate relationship? What happens when you start dating again? Will that be ok with your new partner?