New shirt "Crack Books Not Cocaine". Simon can use this idea when he is legally forced to start doing public service announcements, as punishment for kidnapping and extortion. Allegedly.
Simon, you heathen, you disgust me. Have you never heard of a face cloth? I didn't think I was more cleaner than a middle class, kinda posh, Brit. Next thing, you'll tell us you don't use a brush, just slap toothpaste on you bar of soap and gargle it or some weird shit.
Simon's daughter is going to watch these videos in the future and be like well this explains a lot. She knows why her Dad has locked himself in a shed writing a manifesto while screaming at a doll he keeps calling Danny.
Simon: Pince Charles' job is literally to talk to people about shit. Also Simon: Has 12 TH-cam channels where his job is literally to talk to people about shit
@@310BPM probably, I just think it’s funny how he immediately followed the statement about only watching the first movie with information that’s not in the first movie lol
The Whistler Clone Theory is my new favorite conspiracy theory. The theory is that Simon has at least 12 clones of himself in order to run multiple TH-cam channels, while still having time to watch over his basement prisoners.
@@badluck5647 I honestly can't remember how many years I've been watching him. Since he had a close shaved face. "Baby Simon" xD This stage of Simon is pure genius
you can tell the different dodecagonic batches of clone simons apart by their glasses and choice of merch t-shirt. he is, after all, living on a continent that is becoming increasingly diseased by the radiation of evil from CERN. that will affect clone matter, and explain why he perceives himself as a d-head!~
Wait, no one watched the first one? I loved it and couldn't wait for part 2. Bizarre conspiracy theories featuring dinosaurs from another dimension are my favourite business subjects
What I love most about conspiracy theories is the suggestion we all live in a Scooby Doo episode where the villains leave clues for people to find the truth, like abbreviations and signs left everywhere.
Simon; messes up Charlemagne's name by pronouncing it Charmaine, which is basically an old lady's name. Also Simon; pronounces Hermione exactly how it's pronounced in french. Gotta love the consistency, 11/10!
Pas faux, mais comme je les ai tous lu en anglais...j'aurais dû ....deviner? (C'est précisé plusieurs fois dans le livre, la prononciation, et j'ai essayé à voix haute des dizaines de fois, mais ça sonnait si faux, Her-mi-on-ee...)
@@nigeh5326 I wouldn't say so , the main difference is that air-conditions are fixed on the walls and are not removable or portable like most american ones , for example those windows hanging A/Cs aren't available in europe dimmed to dangerous
I was in undergrad when the Higgs result came out, and one of my physics professors was on the experiment (it was the work of over 400 physicists to maintain and operate the machine, then analyze the huge amount of data it produced , so a very cool career highlight for him but not like he got personally famous for it). He addressed some of the conspiracy theories that Cern posed a threat, but none of them took much knowledge beyond basic physics to debunk. It's funny how industry poses a real threat to Earth every day but people would rather make up nonsense.
My favorite conspiracy theory is that Danny and Sam are just the names of two of Simon’s personalities. Or that Simon is actually one of Danny’s personalities.
Yes its a coverup! Its actually a clone army of simons doing everything and the REAL Simon just created nicknames to tell them apart. Claiming that Simon Danny and Sam all live in different countries and conduct their work over the internet is just a smokescreen to hide the sinister truth. Fun Fact!: The SW light in the background only lights up when the REAL Simon is present. Thats why you havent seen it light up since covid started as Simon has been to busy since then installing 5G into space heaters for his Experimental Test Army. Allegedly
As soon as C.E.R.N. & the Large Hadron Collider were mentioned, I just new that John Titor would be referenced too. That said, I'm still amazed that it happened in a Business Blaze video.
The biggest conspiracy of all: Why does the universe stop existing when I fall asleep in the middle of the night??? I keep trying to keep tabs on everything, but "they" keep faking all of my attempts to gather evidence of a Universe that exists outside of my immediate personal experience!
One great thing about Simon and his content, is that no how many times, or how much you binge, there’s always tons more content to view the next time you decide to binge on his content.
Hint on Japanese pronunciation: Japanese has a fairly rigid syllabic structure, each one generally in the form of a consonant with a following vowel. Kane is thus Kah-Neh.
Yup, Dannys stories, Simons screw ups, and Sams comedic timing have nothing to do with it. I totally dont adore those "stop pandering to the americans" moments.
What the hell is going on with the Blaze videos everyday?? Simon did you find 15 minutes of down time from your other 17 channels and 12 podcasts so you had to make another BLAZE... You sir are a legend... ALLEGEDLY
It's exhausting 😉. I actually had a personal life for two days in a row. Now I have to catch up on BB after my 1.30 am. I cannot wait until tomorrow I have to watch it its an addiction I am ashamed I waited this long. Bad legend
“There’s no such thing as vampires!”- that’s exactly what a vampire would say! And who among us can say we’ve ever seen the sun glistening off FactBoi’s shining dome!
I remember the CERN conspiracy, my friends at the time were all super freaked out about how all these godless scientists are gonna summon demons. All I could think was; "Guys, that's basically the plot to DOOM, I don't think we need to worry about it."
Nope. Simon just stole Hermione's magic clock thingy and is going back in time to make more videos in a bid to get scripts out of Danny before the megafucklertron sends us back to a dimension with more stable time stuff.
I think he forgot his wife's birthday. That's why he found the 3 and 2 candles, so he's trying to get her a Lamborghini before she locks him in the basement with Danny.
I just began my blaze, this is right on time Edit: I don't care about what the content is about, I'm just here for the beautiful British man, and Sam's memes
Simon!!! Sometimes we are just busy. It’s not always about the content. I was 24-7 TH-cam during Covid, but now I’m out working my ass off trying to make up for it. We still love you.
I mean BB has a solid following and he actually does engaging as reads rather that staring into the camera with cold dead eyes while talking about RAID or RayCons.
Believe it or not, NASA was actually worried that there would be a layer of Lunar dust which the lander would sink into when it touched down. It seems weird today because we've been there, but back then NASA didn't know what to expect when they got there so they tried to prepare for just about anything. It turned out to be unnecessary, but it's one of the reasons the ladder ended up so far from the ground. (The other reason is that the inside of the landing legs was designed to crumple when force was applied and work as a one-use shock absorber. As it happened, Neil Armstrong set down the lander much more lightly than expected, making the legs retract less).
Imagine being in Prague, and seeing Simon on the streets. I'd be legit shocked. Also that bathtub meme Sam, got me good. Classic meme. Btw: anyone know what happened to the meme count guy? I haven't seen him in ages.
The O2 arena has fantastic sound. I really wanna go there to see another concert (you know one day when that's a thing again). I keep wondering what I'd do if I saw Simon there. Guess I'd get some legendary merch to wear in the streets, just in case 😇.
It sounds like the Super Mario Brothers Movie from 1993, that was literally the plot of the movie. That's why I clicked on this video, and instead I got a vague CERN conspiracy about us maybe being in an alternate dimension because of the Mandela Effect, and also an unrelated story about dinosaurs. Also they constantly refer to Apatosaurus as 'Brontosaurus' which was like the first hoax, debunked back in 1903 but people continue to use the word to this day because they get all their information from the Flintstones.
I firmly believe that the ancient Egyptians started writing for The Onion and we're just now finding the ancient archives of ideas for future publications.
Just checked, within the past 2 weeks , there have been 8 videos on this channel. TIFO has 7 over the past 2 weeks. I think this is now Simon's main channel.
My Business Blaze Conspiracy Theory Simon and Danny are actually the same person in a Fight Club kind of way. My evidence: Danny lives in Simon’s basement, and Simon records all of these videos in a basement. Simon normally has one or two things he says during a video, that Danny has written in the script a couple of lines later. We’ve never seen them in the same room together. But how is this possible you may ask. Well, have you ever noticed Simon’s proclivity for cocaine? I believe he has a nightly cocaine binder during which he pumps out a solid 10-20 pages of inside jokes before passing out from exhaustion. Then when he wakes up in the morning, he doesn’t remember a thing that happened the previous night. But there’s a script on his desk. Having forgotten the entire writing process, he simply thanks “Danny” and then goes and reads the facts.
@Ty Vsd1337 his crack's okay when you want some spicy rocks but I've been in the mood for that savory cinnamon and nutmeg flavor of Dark Lord Chaney's Shotgun Blast to the Face rocks. Worst crack on Capitol Hill has got to be Feinstein's. It's so bitter and even though she swears it's a new recipe every year you can tell it's the same rocks in a new baggie.
The secret to Business Blaze not being about Business- Its not about our business, its to BLAZE Simon's Business. CultusBlazusOptima (Edit: A solid 10 minute intro to boot)
Danny needs cocaine to pull multiple all-nighters and joints to chill as he gets what little sleep Simon allows him. The guitar is to sing to Sam as he memes.
So much blaze... such a beautiful sight... also idk why but the conspiracy vids just don’t hit when the whole vid is about them.. idk I just like when fact boi jabs at them for no reason in completely unrelated vids ._.
And I just got done getting caught up. And how could the last one not do well?! That one was great! And it should be pronounced "KAH-neh". Japanese is a phonetic language.
I finally found a friend who also watches business blaze and we are both happy because we can make inside jokes from business blaze. The way I found out that he also watches it was we were talking about the Sams we know and I go "so basically there is this channel called business blaze" and he just looks at me and says "wait you know business blaze?" And I say "wait you also watch it?" AND THE FUCKIN LEGEND SAYS "Allegedly". OMG I AM SO HAPPY I HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT THIS PLACE AND SOMEONE WHO GET MY REFERENCES!
People always seem to think creative writing is a modern thing and take historic writing as gospel. What’s the chance that the Egyptian writer talking about giant lizards saw some bones and wrote down a fictional story about them? So many conspiracies are based on historic fairy tales.
Think of all of Simon's comments within his Blaze videos, they all mention bidness braise and will likely do so forever: thus perpetuating the continued confusion for newcomings to this channel....what an OG allegendly.
My sister once convinced my extended family to move her Birthday up to August, because her Birthday was near Christmas, and she was always getting the dreaded Birthday and Christmas Combined Presents. Seriously, don't do that. Everyone agreed and had a party and real Presents in August. When her Birthday came around she got angry that no one celebrated it. The next year, we moved it back, and she got, and still gets combo presents.
![BOWKYLION - วิงวอน (ex-change) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cLdnZWDaO-w/mqdefault.jpg)
Give Tiege Hanley a try & get a FREE toiletry bag with your first box at tiege.com/businessblaze
Thanks for getting the date the Mandela died correct this time
NO!
New shirt "Crack Books Not Cocaine". Simon can use this idea when he is legally forced to start doing public service announcements, as punishment for kidnapping and extortion. Allegedly.
Simon, you heathen, you disgust me. Have you never heard of a face cloth? I didn't think I was more cleaner than a middle class, kinda posh, Brit. Next thing, you'll tell us you don't use a brush, just slap toothpaste on you bar of soap and gargle it or some weird shit.
@@dudepool7530 What is this face cloth you speak of?
Simon's daughter is going to watch these videos in the future and be like well this explains a lot. She knows why her Dad has locked himself in a shed writing a manifesto while screaming at a doll he keeps calling Danny.
YES! xD
#69th like
We need a clip of a delusional Simon on a raft screaming at a volleyball "DANNY! DAAAANNNNNNNYYYYYYY!!!"
@@jubb1984 0
Explains all the cocaine.. allegedly
Simon: Pince Charles' job is literally to talk to people about shit.
Also Simon: Has 12 TH-cam channels where his job is literally to talk to people about shit
Sounds about right. Simon: "I am now royalty!"
I never said we had different jobs.
Simon is Prince Charles. Clearly.
"Less smoking crack, more cracking a book" If you make a t-shirt that says that I would absolutely buy it!
Same
Oh *hell* *yeah* ! Same here.
*edited* for typo
Please yes.
Hoodies too!
Less crack smoking, more book cracking? No.. not as good. Why do I feel like it needs to be tweaked a bit, but I like it.
Never change Danny. You’re fueling Simon’s descent into madness in front of our eyes. And it’s wonderful.
We love your long scripts, Danny. Never change.
Agreed
Big DANNY Fan Club
Its the only way he can get even with Simon for locking him in the basement
Yeah, but we also love Simon bitching about them, so that shouldn't change either lol. SUFFER FACT BOY!
Bump. Keep it up Danny.
Simon:”relax I only saw the first movie”
Also Simon: talks about the third movie
Sam, "Neeeeerrrrrd"
except the time-turner is in the book,, he's obviously read the books lol,,
@@310BPM probably, I just think it’s funny how he immediately followed the statement about only watching the first movie with information that’s not in the first movie lol
In Simons original reality the third movie actually came first
*third book
I'm still waiting for the episode where the entire thing is Danny's introduction and then it just cuts.
It would give Simon the shorter script that he always asks for.
@@badluck5647 if Danny reads this, he may just take that as a challenge. Write the most epic Blaze yet and simply end with "to be continued".
what if it was the introduction to multiple potential videos put together
Just watch the Blaze late at night...you'll be asleep before the intro ends.....
🤣🤣🤣
The Whistler Clone Theory is my new favorite conspiracy theory. The theory is that Simon has at least 12 clones of himself in order to run multiple TH-cam channels, while still having time to watch over his basement prisoners.
10 channels
10 Simon
1 Simon watching over the basement
1 paying attention to his wife and kid so they don't get suspicious
@@mcpossum Despite his concaine addiction, Business Blaze Simon is still the best.
@@badluck5647 I honestly can't remember how many years I've been watching him. Since he had a close shaved face. "Baby Simon" xD This stage of Simon is pure genius
you can tell the different dodecagonic batches of clone simons apart by their glasses and choice of merch t-shirt.
he is, after all, living on a continent that is becoming increasingly diseased by the radiation of evil from CERN. that will affect clone matter, and explain why he perceives himself as a d-head!~
Stay where you are. There is no need to worry. A Simonologist" will be with you shortly to neutralize...silence...debrief! Debrief you.
Business blaze is the only channel I actually watch ad reads. Absolute gold
“Tiege, if that’s your real name”
Same. Other channels, even when their transitions are clever, I'll skip ahead. Business Blaze, I watch the whole ad read.
legends
+1
Simon: visibly confused and still on p.1
Me: visibly enjoying Danny's subtle revenge
Wait, no one watched the first one? I loved it and couldn't wait for part 2.
Bizarre conspiracy theories featuring dinosaurs from another dimension are my favourite business subjects
Dinosaurs are from another dimension though, from the fourth dimension.
What I love most about conspiracy theories is the suggestion we all live in a Scooby Doo episode where the villains leave clues for people to find the truth, like abbreviations and signs left everywhere.
So. Many. Business. Blazes.
DON'T STOP PRODUCING CONTENT SIMON
That is a good username.8
@@jaymevosburgh3660 Which part?
NEVER
@@brainblaze6526 , cryogenics are expensive 🙃
If Tiege hasn't sponsored another BB video within two weeks I'm not getting it
Simon; messes up Charlemagne's name by pronouncing it Charmaine, which is basically an old lady's name. Also Simon; pronounces Hermione exactly how it's pronounced in french. Gotta love the consistency, 11/10!
Simon struggles to pronounce English place names at times let alone non English words.
He was confused by Charlemagne inventing toilet tissue, allegedly.
Can we just call him Karl der Große 😂 or Carolus Magnus
Pas faux, mais comme je les ai tous lu en anglais...j'aurais dû
....deviner? (C'est précisé plusieurs fois dans le livre, la prononciation, et j'ai essayé à voix haute des dizaines de fois, mais ça sonnait si faux, Her-mi-on-ee...)
I'm confused. Is Danny still alive or was this written before Calum took his spot in the basement?
#JusticeForDanny
Callum only fills in when Danny has to spend time in the pit for bad behavior. No pens and paper or typewriters are allowed in the pit.
Schrödinger's Danny
@@randomsandwichian as long as the scripts keep coming out through the little slot in the door we good
So, you're suggesting Simon has bodies stored in his basement -- new internet scandal! We've never seen Danny, how do we even know he exists?
Simon collects writers like one would collect bottles of vintage wine, they go in the cellar and never come back out.
Bring back ETA. Simon needs a host to make the facts funny. #freeETA
Lmfao ETA has his won channel. Sweet
He will soon rise!✊
@Scott Maclaren Time to meet his new co-host, the air conditioner!
@@ryanroberts1104 air conditioning is a lot rarer in Europe than the USA. Most homes don’t have it
@@nigeh5326 I wouldn't say so , the main difference is that air-conditions are fixed on the walls and are not removable or portable like most american ones , for example those windows hanging A/Cs aren't available in europe dimmed to dangerous
Simon: "I'm so old."
Me: "My oldest child is one year younger than Simon."
[crumbles into dust]
I felt that I my ancient soul, Patty
Mine is 4 years younger
Hi Mom
I think I'm a year older than Simon.
Me, in my 30s: I'm feeling both young and old at the same time
When you've been watching Business Blaze for almost 4 hours and Simon blesses me with a new video 👀
Wait 5 mins and there will be another one on one of his other channels.😂 God bless Simon and his good deeds!!😂
Same!
That is the definition of utopia
You saw the videos too many times and he appeared
Same!
I was in undergrad when the Higgs result came out, and one of my physics professors was on the experiment (it was the work of over 400 physicists to maintain and operate the machine, then analyze the huge amount of data it produced , so a very cool career highlight for him but not like he got personally famous for it). He addressed some of the conspiracy theories that Cern posed a threat, but none of them took much knowledge beyond basic physics to debunk. It's funny how industry poses a real threat to Earth every day but people would rather make up nonsense.
The word conspiracy is like kryptonite to the algorithm.
My favorite conspiracy theory is that Danny and Sam are just the names of two of Simon’s personalities. Or that Simon is actually one of Danny’s personalities.
All I'm saying is we have never seen Danny ,sam,and Simon all in the same room at the same time...
Yes its a coverup! Its actually a clone army of simons doing everything and the REAL Simon just created nicknames to tell them apart. Claiming that Simon Danny and Sam all live in different countries and conduct their work over the internet is just a smokescreen to hide the sinister truth. Fun Fact!: The SW light in the background only lights up when the REAL Simon is present. Thats why you havent seen it light up since covid started as Simon has been to busy since then installing 5G into space heaters for his Experimental Test Army. Allegedly
Yes we have.... They're all the same person. Why you think he does so much cocaine?
@@Schedelke and don't forget his secret treaty with our alien overlords to guarantee his right to rule in the new regime
@@isoufo Well.. the feeling cocaine gives is why he does so much cocaine. I mean.. Its cocaine. ALLEGEDLY
@@justaskinwalkerwithstolenw7237 Do you mean the lizard aliens posing as humans or the mind control tentacled ones?
We’ve been sucked into an alternative universe where a Moby look alike has taken over TH-cam.
Simon's release schedule has been spoiling us this week 🎉
As soon as C.E.R.N. & the Large Hadron Collider were mentioned, I just new that John Titor would be referenced too. That said, I'm still amazed that it happened in a Business Blaze video.
El Psy Kongroo!
Part-time Warrior FTW.
#TeamSuzu
Imagine a 1000 years from now, Simon and Walt Disney just unfrozen and working togheter...
"So some news Walt, you're going to be switching focus to sci-fi"
In Finland 😂
Simon's ad reads are the only ones I listen to the whole way through. They are so random and entertaining.
Mista GG, who does movie crituques, but is not a critic, has great ad reads too.
@@andiward7068 OO thanks, Two thing I enjoy!
So many this week! Awesome!
Happy week
Indeed!! As they say..."A Blaze a day keeps whatever away"
A blaze a day keeps the cops away (from the coke)
A blaze a day gets us closer to realizing reality was destroyed by CERN!
@@AMAZING-PIGMAN Indeed!😁
th-cam.com/video/yPrLOXgx54g/w-d-xo.html
Shoutout to Simon, Danny and Sam for this content getting me through a breakup. Appreciate ya boiz
The biggest conspiracy of all: Why does the universe stop existing when I fall asleep in the middle of the night??? I keep trying to keep tabs on everything, but "they" keep faking all of my attempts to gather evidence of a Universe that exists outside of my immediate personal experience!
How do you know that the universe exists when you're awake ? In fact, how do you know you're ever awake ?
One great thing about Simon and his content, is that no how many times, or how much you binge, there’s always tons more content to view the next time you decide to binge on his content.
Simon: Danny, you need to write shorter introductions
Also Simon: wait, have we started already, we're only one page in, what's going on Danny?!
Damned if ya do, damned if you don't🐴
Danny is getting a slice of cheese on his bread tonight!
You are so fun to watch! Danny, Sam and you are absolute LEGENDS!
Simon: Is 3 years younger than me
Also Simon: Looks like someone i'd offer to mow the lawn for so the poor old man can sleep.
Simon's wife must have some pretty good earplugs if she can get any sleep at all......
Wenver he says sern I get stines gate flash backs
he kinda looks like Mr Clean and a lumber jack had a baby
@@crypticnomad except that recessive gene of no muscle kicked in HARD!!!
Hint on Japanese pronunciation: Japanese has a fairly rigid syllabic structure, each one generally in the form of a consonant with a following vowel. Kane is thus Kah-Neh.
かね ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙
So, tell me. You are popular thanks to reading meme filled scripts?
Blaze: yes
That is Mr. Blaze to you.
I second this motion, but I would like to be wearing a zebra sex mask.
Yup, Dannys stories, Simons screw ups, and Sams comedic timing have nothing to do with it. I totally dont adore those "stop pandering to the americans" moments.
@@dudepool7530 As an American I resent that. We quite enjoy being pandered to, or we would if we knew what that meant.
@@audreysark think he ment to say pampered as in wat u might do to baby just to keep it happy- no offence
Simon's exasperated reaction to conspiracy theories of "I'm not even entertaining this nonsense" is such a mood.
O.G.B.B. Conspiracy; Simon is a literal puppet, controlled and voiced by Danny and Sam from "the basement"... 🤔🤔🤔
Debunked already, the puppetmaster is a Czech MCN!
@@AcornElectron what is a Czech MCN ?
Danny, chill.
Nah, they're all the same person 🤔😁
@@AcornElectron although...
Most channels I fast forward the advertisement, but on the Blaze I listen because I just love how Simon rants on. :D
What the hell is going on with the Blaze videos everyday?? Simon did you find 15 minutes of down time from your other 17 channels and 12 podcasts so you had to make another BLAZE... You sir are a legend... ALLEGEDLY
Allegendly
It's exhausting 😉. I actually had a personal life for two days in a row. Now I have to catch up on BB after my 1.30 am. I cannot wait until tomorrow I have to watch it its an addiction I am ashamed I waited this long. Bad legend
@@stephjovi lmfao "bad legend"
“There’s no such thing as vampires!”- that’s exactly what a vampire would say!
And who among us can say we’ve ever seen the sun glistening off FactBoi’s shining dome!
first rule of vampire club - no-one discusses vampire club
My personal conspiracy theory is when when Sam uses the "daddy chill" meme that he's calling Simon daddy and he really does need to chill
THERE IS NO CHILL!!!!
WELCOME TO BUSINESS BLAZE!!!
I can't help, but hear "Danny chill".
Agreed
I don't think facts need to be called conspiracies.
They are scarily close, after all we all know that time travel agents are ducks with hats and a juice packet.
Use some of that sponser money to fix that neon sign already!
Thank you!...I've brought this up on many occasion...I'm guessing not to many neon repair stores in eastern block countries
YES! Please fix the damn sign. It drives me right up the f**king wall, I used to love looking at that sign!
I remember the CERN conspiracy, my friends at the time were all super freaked out about how all these godless scientists are gonna summon demons. All I could think was; "Guys, that's basically the plot to DOOM, I don't think we need to worry about it."
There must have been some cocaine fuelled breakdown recently to gift us with all these videos!
Simon is everything ok at home?!?!?
The preferred nomenclature is "crackup". It suggests a predicament analogous to Icarus flying too close to the sun. Breaking down is so insipid!
His wife learned how to lactate pure liquid cocaine? Perhaps that, or I need more sleep and far less hallucinogenic fungus in my daily activities.
Nope. Simon just stole Hermione's magic clock thingy and is going back in time to make more videos in a bid to get scripts out of Danny before the megafucklertron sends us back to a dimension with more stable time stuff.
I think he forgot his wife's birthday. That's why he found the 3 and 2 candles, so he's trying to get her a Lamborghini before she locks him in the basement with Danny.
Hey Sam! We need that intro bit as a meme. "Stop crack/crack a book". I'd use that everywhere!!
I just began my blaze, this is right on time
Edit: I don't care about what the content is about, I'm just here for the beautiful British man, and Sam's memes
Same!!! Here for vintage memes and Danny's life story
Simon!!! Sometimes we are just busy. It’s not always about the content. I was 24-7 TH-cam during Covid, but now I’m out working my ass off trying to make up for it. We still love you.
Business exec: there! HIM!
Simon: me?
Exec: YES YOU YOUR THE ONE WE NEED TO REPRESENT OUR COMPANY!!!
If I had a company, I would love a Simonesque ad read.
I mean BB has a solid following and he actually does engaging as reads rather that staring into the camera with cold dead eyes while talking about RAID or RayCons.
Believe it or not, NASA was actually worried that there would be a layer of Lunar dust which the lander would sink into when it touched down. It seems weird today because we've been there, but back then NASA didn't know what to expect when they got there so they tried to prepare for just about anything. It turned out to be unnecessary, but it's one of the reasons the ladder ended up so far from the ground. (The other reason is that the inside of the landing legs was designed to crumple when force was applied and work as a one-use shock absorber. As it happened, Neil Armstrong set down the lander much more lightly than expected, making the legs retract less).
Imagine being in Prague, and seeing Simon on the streets. I'd be legit shocked. Also that bathtub meme Sam, got me good. Classic meme. Btw: anyone know what happened to the meme count guy? I haven't seen him in ages.
I think it takes him some time to get the meme count up I've seen them recently on some videos that were days old for me
@@danielbing3207 What a relief!
The O2 arena has fantastic sound. I really wanna go there to see another concert (you know one day when that's a thing again). I keep wondering what I'd do if I saw Simon there. Guess I'd get some legendary merch to wear in the streets, just in case 😇.
If I'll ever get to Prague, I'll definitely keep an eye out for Simon-spotting :)
Simon: "There's no such thing as vampires - they aren't real!"
Vampire bats: "Squeak?" 🦇
"Dinosaurs from Another Dimension ". Sounds like an 80s cartoon.
Iv watched this three times. Was there more than just a brief mention at the beginning?
70's Saturday morning show "Land of the Lost"
It sounds like the Super Mario Brothers Movie from 1993, that was literally the plot of the movie. That's why I clicked on this video, and instead I got a vague CERN conspiracy about us maybe being in an alternate dimension because of the Mandela Effect, and also an unrelated story about dinosaurs. Also they constantly refer to Apatosaurus as 'Brontosaurus' which was like the first hoax, debunked back in 1903 but people continue to use the word to this day because they get all their information from the Flintstones.
We love your long scripts, Danny! Make Simon work hard for the money!
Is "cracking a book" a term for "doing lines" I was previously unaware of?
it is now lol for us gremlins
I firmly believe that the ancient Egyptians started writing for The Onion and we're just now finding the ancient archives of ideas for future publications.
I prefer to think the onion got a hold of the reality stone, hence the years since 2012.
Danny and Sam, you were missed.
Simon- "Less smoking crack"
Me- "And I took that personally"
*slowly slides book over my crack stem*
Boy is gonna blaze himself away 🤩
Love this! 🙌🏻
We can only hope, the tyrant!
Danny should make a podcast called “The intro” that is just Danny’s epic ramblings
Simon admits he watched a movie, my first thought “no he didn’t”
He says he watched the first movie, yet describes the 3rd movie. Lies upon lies!
Just checked, within the past 2 weeks , there have been 8 videos on this channel. TIFO has 7 over the past 2 weeks. I think this is now Simon's main channel.
That makes me said for Daven but happy for us legends
Look at that sharp boi ! I was told the WS sign was back in business, where is the light Fact boi ?
Someone out here asking the real questions
13:49 man there's nothing like a good old Business Blaze
Doctor: "Porphyria?"
Patient: "No, just British."
My Business Blaze Conspiracy Theory
Simon and Danny are actually the same person in a Fight Club kind of way. My evidence:
Danny lives in Simon’s basement, and Simon records all of these videos in a basement.
Simon normally has one or two things he says during a video, that Danny has written in the script a couple of lines later.
We’ve never seen them in the same room together.
But how is this possible you may ask. Well, have you ever noticed Simon’s proclivity for cocaine? I believe he has a nightly cocaine binder during which he pumps out a solid 10-20 pages of inside jokes before passing out from exhaustion.
Then when he wakes up in the morning, he doesn’t remember a thing that happened the previous night. But there’s a script on his desk. Having forgotten the entire writing process, he simply thanks “Danny” and then goes and reads the facts.
"Less smoking crack..."
Unsubscribed. After I smoke some crack.
@Ty Vsd1337 his crack's okay when you want some spicy rocks but I've been in the mood for that savory cinnamon and nutmeg flavor of Dark Lord Chaney's Shotgun Blast to the Face rocks.
Worst crack on Capitol Hill has got to be Feinstein's. It's so bitter and even though she swears it's a new recipe every year you can tell it's the same rocks in a new baggie.
You'd think Simon would support the use of something made from cocaine.
@@LizRealGirlBeauty he likes fancy things so he gets the coke, Danny gets the crack. That's also why the scripts aren't getting shorter.
try meth; it's cheaper!! :)
@@bateman2112.... I agree. The scripts now included 2 entire ones dedicated to conspiracies, also. Seems like evidence of some crack smoking, to me.😆
You are the only TH-camr I do not skip the adds on.... out of fear of missing a rant.
The secret to Business Blaze not being about Business- Its not about our business, its to BLAZE Simon's Business. CultusBlazusOptima
(Edit: A solid 10 minute intro to boot)
Always easy to know when Simon is feeling great the drums are full of energy
All of Simon's Onlyfans money goes towards funding a synthetic body for Simon's mind to be uploaded into.
Body pics for body parts
Simon should make an only fans with sexy pix of ETA 😇
10:25 - Chapter 1 - Large Hadron Collider opens gateway to hell
16:50 - Mid roll ads
21:45 - Chapter 2 - Prince Charles is a vampire
25:45 - Chapter 3 - Dinosaurs helped build the pyramides
- Chapter 4 -
- Chapter 5 -
Simon, at least you still have some humanity, you at least give Danny some joints and a guitar.
Purging his system from all that cocaine
Danny needs cocaine to pull multiple all-nighters and joints to chill as he gets what little sleep Simon allows him. The guitar is to sing to Sam as he memes.
Good to Sam's meme for this channel.
Has anyone else been fast forwarding through an ad realize it takes 5 minutes and rewind just to hear Simon go off 🤣
So much blaze... such a beautiful sight... also idk why but the conspiracy vids just don’t hit when the whole vid is about them.. idk I just like when fact boi jabs at them for no reason in completely unrelated vids ._.
>Tfw I trace my lineage to both Charlemagne and Alfred the Great
>Tfw I don't exist
I loved the first one, I use conspiracy theories as subjects for papers for class. It's a research subject that I can make shit up for.
Legend
I am convinced that the mayor thought Charles was the prince of Whales. That would be an awesome conversation starter, I wish I was.
So who is going to mention to Simon he didn't watch the first Harry Potter movie?
The wife says Prisoner of Azkaban is not the first movie. Allegedly.
Simon's going to get cryogenically frozen and end up in the Bobiverse.
Blazing after a minute after it was posted. #keepblazing
Business Blaze ad reads are the best ad reads on youtube
And I just got done getting caught up. And how could the last one not do well?! That one was great!
And it should be pronounced "KAH-neh". Japanese is a phonetic language.
The 'dinosaurs' could have been elephants, with a great PR team.
Welcome to the 78% of viewers who are also Simon's subs.
Read that how you wish.
😏
Totally ok with being a SW sub 🙃
One of us, one of us
Do it again daddy
I prefer 'Simons' Simps'.
I finally found a friend who also watches business blaze and we are both happy because we can make inside jokes from business blaze.
The way I found out that he also watches it was we were talking about the Sams we know and I go "so basically there is this channel called business blaze" and he just looks at me and says "wait you know business blaze?" And I say "wait you also watch it?" AND THE FUCKIN LEGEND SAYS "Allegedly". OMG I AM SO HAPPY I HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT THIS PLACE AND SOMEONE WHO GET MY REFERENCES!
What if I smoke more books and crack less crack?
People always seem to think creative writing is a modern thing and take historic writing as gospel. What’s the chance that the Egyptian writer talking about giant lizards saw some bones and wrote down a fictional story about them? So many conspiracies are based on historic fairy tales.
Life in the post-hadron world just ain’t the same ☹️
I do live a 1oo km from "the thing", sometimes late at night, thoughts do go through my mind 🙃
Think of all of Simon's comments within his Blaze videos, they all mention bidness braise and will likely do so forever: thus perpetuating the continued confusion for newcomings to this channel....what an OG allegendly.
Man this CERN talk makes me want to go watch SteinsGate again
I had to at least watch the intro. Seriously, best anime ever.
"I heard you like facepalm, so I added some facepalm to your facepalm! " Best line in an anime ever!
It's not about the amount of views, it's about the quality of views. And we're some quality viewers mate.
Blazing 24 seconds after posting!
My sister once convinced my extended family to move her Birthday up to August, because her Birthday was near Christmas, and she was always getting the dreaded Birthday and Christmas Combined Presents. Seriously, don't do that. Everyone agreed and had a party and real Presents in August. When her Birthday came around she got angry that no one celebrated it. The next year, we moved it back, and she got, and still gets combo presents.
New Theory: Tiege Hanley were actually the ones who put this video together.
Business Blaze is now part of my Saturday morning ritual.
The memes in this episode 😘👌
Noice Sam.