The Worst Human Resources (HR) Nightmares

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 2K

  • @brainblaze6526
    @brainblaze6526  3 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Get 20% off your Lucy order: thld.co/lucy_blazemar

    • @chillcannongames5758
      @chillcannongames5758 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Fuck yes simon. More more. It's like an adiction

    • @MinistryOfMagic_DoM
      @MinistryOfMagic_DoM 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks fact boi

    • @pin65371
      @pin65371 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Can you guys do a video on Rob Ford? Dude was a legend.

    • @Erkle64
      @Erkle64 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Code 20%, BLAZE off

    • @PeterCombs
      @PeterCombs 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      the Lacoste check was for $2,448/ NET

  • @eugenics_gone_wrong1939
    @eugenics_gone_wrong1939 3 ปีที่แล้ว +435

    Please don't shorten this videos! The amount of shitting around and storytimes are the most hilarious thing and basically why I watch every video. And the memes of course.

    • @Zyo117
      @Zyo117 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Shortening the script in itself is a meme nowadays

    • @Hugin-N-Munin
      @Hugin-N-Munin 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yeah, it's basically the point of watching. It's like with Firekitten videos. They have this disclaimer "Warning: The following video contains adult humor, language and video game violence. Let's be honest, it's why you came here"
      For Business Blaze it should be "Warning: this video contains Simon half-reading the script, going off on weird tangents, reading the script, and memes"

    • @jesselynds5411
      @jesselynds5411 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      yes i need long videos so he talks all the way through my sleeps.

  • @michelle8190
    @michelle8190 3 ปีที่แล้ว +790

    Danny is using your videos to document his life for his future grandkids.

    • @helenafarkas4534
      @helenafarkas4534 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      That’s assuming that Simon will import a woman into the basement to bear the children to start on the grandchild train

    • @morganhyjek2954
      @morganhyjek2954 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      I think this could be the new How I Met Your Mother lol

    • @lehlohonololelakane9468
      @lehlohonololelakane9468 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@helenafarkas4534 essentially giving Simon and his clones and endless stream of new content from Danny and his loins

    • @lenny5774
      @lenny5774 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Lucy is a film with Scarlett Johansson and Morgan Freeman that even Morgan couldn't improve

    • @2023-Sucked
      @2023-Sucked 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That’s assuming Simon lets him out of the basement

  • @reaghank8602
    @reaghank8602 3 ปีที่แล้ว +665

    HR exists to protect the company, not the workers

    • @tosh_is_me942
      @tosh_is_me942 3 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      Well yeah,... kinda obvious given that its literally calling employees "human resources",.... I cant think of a more degrading, homogeneous term for what should generally be "valued individuals"...

    • @nurgle11
      @nurgle11 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      @@tosh_is_me942 I think they should call the "livestock" :D

    • @randomstuff-qu7sh
      @randomstuff-qu7sh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      @@tosh_is_me942 It used to be Personnel Administration. I guess we got downgraded from people to resources in the eyes of businesses.

    • @Mogijup
      @Mogijup 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@randomstuff-qu7sh oh shit, I didn’t even know that

    • @ziggygunz2447
      @ziggygunz2447 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Wow it's gotten so blatant that companies just flat out DO NOT care about employees.

  • @Jbot123
    @Jbot123 3 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    My first boss at a real job described HR as "neither human, nor a resource."

    • @aerialmacaroon6312
      @aerialmacaroon6312 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Says a lot about them when even the bosses don’t like them

    • @guitarpop
      @guitarpop ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@aerialmacaroon6312 That's a terrible conclusion to draw. What it says is that they are outside the boss' authority, which most bosses do not appreciate.

    • @aerialmacaroon6312
      @aerialmacaroon6312 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@guitarpop fair sorry

    • @neuralnetwork17
      @neuralnetwork17 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@guitarpop That quote of OP's boss gives us so little information that drawing any conclusion as to why that boss doesn't like HR is a terrible conclusion to draw. Yours is as speculative as the one you criticised. There is no way to know with the information we have.

    • @mitchellguerrerio
      @mitchellguerrerio 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      HR….. HRE? Neither holy nor Roman nor an empire 😅

  • @Varizen87
    @Varizen87 3 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    When I was a teaching assistant, the professor that I was working with would tell a lecture hall of 600 students "HR is not your friend. They're not there to protect you. HR exists exclusively to cover the ass of the company you work for."

  • @donatodiniccolodibettobardi842
    @donatodiniccolodibettobardi842 3 ปีที่แล้ว +291

    Switching between Simon Whistler's channels is the best:
    "It remains a symbol of the distances a humankind can cross through creativity, ingenuity and determination..."
    "...I haven't murdered any homeless people lately."

  • @digapygmy70
    @digapygmy70 3 ปีที่แล้ว +235

    Oh my God, that is NOT what I expected bell-end to mean! I assumed it actually had something to do with bells, maybe saying that someone's head is as empty as one. The best insult I ever heard came from this one girl I knew in high school who was calling some other girl a blockhead. I said, "That's not really that savage," and she replied, "No, I mean she gives head to the entire block!" That caught EVERYONE off-guard and I will never forget it lmao!

    • @eowyn-faramir-reads
      @eowyn-faramir-reads 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Daaaaamn that girl was a BEAST

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  3 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      LOL

    • @TheWaterboarders
      @TheWaterboarders 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@brainblaze6526 Do you know what a douchebag is though. And can you believe there is actually a brand of luggage called Douchebag?!! Perhaps the time is right to market Bellend Bags in the USA

    • @luna775
      @luna775 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I was going to give you a like, but i saw 69 and considering the blockhead story, i decided to keep the 69 and said NICE

    • @madotsuki_mk1
      @madotsuki_mk1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      For years (until recently) I was sure "bell end" was referring to the ass.

  • @ThisIsWhyWeCantHaveNiceThings.
    @ThisIsWhyWeCantHaveNiceThings. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +401

    This channel has ruined me for the other ten thousand channels Simon runs. I'd love to see a Today I Found Out video with Simon just joking and swearing his way through.

    • @SEAZNDragon
      @SEAZNDragon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      The Blaze sneaks through sometimes and even pours out. Go look at his video on TIFO about cute aggression.

    • @StreakyBaconMan
      @StreakyBaconMan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I feel like the more he does Business Blaze the more this sort of behavior seems to spread into videos on his other channels. It's always disappointing when he doesn't say Simon Whistler AKA Dick Head though.

    • @irekaias
      @irekaias 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Since The dawn of the Age of the Blaze it has began to spill out.

    • @YeeSoest
      @YeeSoest 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      It's the opposite for me. The whole WORLD knows Simon Whistler. It's only us lot here who get to see behind the mask and glance at the true face of factboi

    • @ziggygunz2447
      @ziggygunz2447 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Since watching business Blaze I swear I see the BB humor bleeding into the more "serious" channels lol

  • @mp40submachinegun81
    @mp40submachinegun81 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    My mom is a nurse in a maximum security prison, they have a jar which at the start of the month everyone puts $5 into. Following that for the next month every time someone gets a death threat they put another dollar in the jar and mark it on a peice of paper, at the end of the month the person with the least death threats wins the money. They used to do the person with the most threats wins as a consolation prize but stopped because they figured it was a matter of time until someone was accused of inciting threats due to the pot being multiple hundreds of dollars at times.

  • @awmperry
    @awmperry 3 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    HR isn’t about “providing humans with resources” - it refers to humans *being* resources.
    It’s the same sense as the phrase “people are our most valuable asset”...

    • @ivanv754
      @ivanv754 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      More like “people are tools”

    • @bluegenes2273
      @bluegenes2273 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "Soylent Green Dept." was, after all, a bit too on the nose.

    • @phantomechelon3628
      @phantomechelon3628 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ivanv754 A good description for most HR staff I've had the misfortune to speak to.

    • @phantomechelon3628
      @phantomechelon3628 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ...and simultaneously our most expendable assets...

    • @awmperry
      @awmperry ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@phantomechelon3628 Staff are cheap to replace. ;)

  • @thehidden1246
    @thehidden1246 3 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    I am subscribed to likely all your channels but Business Blaze is hands down my favorite! Always a good laugh congrats to the whole team.

  • @WhyAreAllTheGoodUsernamesTaken
    @WhyAreAllTheGoodUsernamesTaken 3 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    I like that the sponsors here are so loyal. Every video it's either Magellan, Surfshark, Dashlane, or SquareSpace. Not sure why but that makes me happy

    • @MichaelWarman
      @MichaelWarman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This is at least the second from Lucy. There have been a handful of Magic Spoon ones, too

    • @WhyAreAllTheGoodUsernamesTaken
      @WhyAreAllTheGoodUsernamesTaken 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@MichaelWarman Yeah, thought Lucy sounded familiar, just wasn't a 100% sure. Magic Spoon is also a good shout. Point being he has very loyal sponsors though, and that's nice

    • @WhyAreAllTheGoodUsernamesTaken
      @WhyAreAllTheGoodUsernamesTaken 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @rapheALtoid Tbf the odds of it being sponsored by one of those though were pretty high

  • @jacksone5856
    @jacksone5856 3 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    Two and a half minutes in, and Simon discovers the root of America's police problem; but only after de-glassing and revealing a set of beautiful eyes!

  • @Tritium21
    @Tritium21 3 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    $78k in new york city will get you a closet to eat your pot noodles in. Its a lot for most cities, but not for new york.

    • @torijones5194
      @torijones5194 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      A friend of mine followed her fiance to California (he was in the Navy). She got a job out there for $40,000 a year. In Texas that's a respectable starting salary. In California it wasn't enough and she had to look for another job.

    • @semaj_5022
      @semaj_5022 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah here in Louisville KY, you can live alone fairly comfortably at $78k a year and even save and invest money if rent an apartment and stay within your means. In NYC? You need at least one roommate and a second job, and maybe, just *maybe* you can manage the cheapest available 2 bedroom apt. You're definitely not owning a car though. And you better hope one of those jobs provides health insurance.

    • @fuckingimpossible
      @fuckingimpossible 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Can we also talk about 78k coming from 15 dollars an hour is (maths) 100 hours a week? WTF Quit your job if youre working 100 hours a week, no one is paying you enough. no one ever pays anyone enough to work 20 hours shy of an entire 5-day work week.

    • @nathanweitzman9531
      @nathanweitzman9531 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And on top of what y'all said, the fella was top in sales for the flagship store in Manhattan. Lacoste really got what they deserved for all that. Hope the guy found something much better for his talents.

  • @TheDungeonofBadDecisions
    @TheDungeonofBadDecisions 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I was in the middle of petting my cat when Simon started talking about cleaning his glasses. I looked back at the screen, and my first thought was "Who is this stranger squinting back at me?"

  • @wut274
    @wut274 3 ปีที่แล้ว +202

    Surely number 1 is the situation Simon has with Danny and Sam in the basement?! 😅😆🤣

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      He even dares to deny it. As if we bought that denial. Danny isn't in the basement. Yeah sure 😉if the police asks you don't know where he is you only email him

    • @wiiretime3704
      @wiiretime3704 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      The real catch is that there really in the attic

    • @CharizardMaster69
      @CharizardMaster69 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      AND EBA

    • @nellom.8771
      @nellom.8771 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@stephjovi ...

    • @QuantitativeMethods
      @QuantitativeMethods 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nailed it!!!

  • @SupremeLeaderKimJong-un
    @SupremeLeaderKimJong-un 3 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    Bryn is a Welsh name, Simon
    It means hill. I know all

    • @SATX_09
      @SATX_09 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      The supreme leader and respected Marshall has blessed us with your presents down here in the comments.... We are so honored.👌

    • @CharizardMaster69
      @CharizardMaster69 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      There’s several streets named “Bryn Mawr” I always asked who the fuck he is?

    • @ShiroAustin
      @ShiroAustin 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@CharizardMaster69 Bryn also means hill, Bryn Faur would literally translate to Big Hill

    • @Adam-qs5ir
      @Adam-qs5ir 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dear Leader!

    • @xr88yu
      @xr88yu 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lost some weight recently, good for you!

  • @TheDungeonofBadDecisions
    @TheDungeonofBadDecisions 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    "He wouldn't mind a job where he wasn't treated with utter contempt and threats of violence" yeah don't go into retail then

    • @221b-l3t
      @221b-l3t ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Or restaurants

  • @hippiemoses336
    @hippiemoses336 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This entire channel is truly 100% the opposite of how TH-cam says a channel should be... I really think that's why we love it so much!!!

    • @hippiemoses336
      @hippiemoses336 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Also, I will be very happy to spread bellend all over North Carolina. Sounds a little better than douchebag anyways..

  • @Blargaha
    @Blargaha 3 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    "He's a democrat... They're more anti big business, right?"
    Oh you sweet summer child Simon

    • @DavidInMonroe318
      @DavidInMonroe318 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yep I lol'ed too 😂

    • @KS-PNW
      @KS-PNW 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      To be fair, I'm an American adult and I can't confidentially tell you what the platform of any of Britain's political parties might be. Not shocking a Brit doesn't have ours down pat..

    • @EnyalienMini
      @EnyalienMini 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I remember a time where that was at least the perception they went for...

    • @rustlemyjimmys
      @rustlemyjimmys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Don't worry I'm British and I instantly looked for a comment along these lines. We generally have a good grasp of US and world politics however Simon's innocence is somehow still intact. Whether that's due to him living outside of the UK or due to his line of work it's difficult to say. It is a endearing type of naivety though 😂

    • @flyingdutchman4794
      @flyingdutchman4794 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Umm... yeah. I can't expect Simon, as an expat Brit, to be completely up on US politics, but... Jeezuz. Welcome to the Adlai Stevenson campaign.
      BTW: don't you miss counting your money in pounds, Simon? "Euros", good God.

  • @Kwastaken
    @Kwastaken 3 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    So happy with the amount of blaze that is being bestowed upon us as of late... please don’t stop...

  • @seanmeagher5163
    @seanmeagher5163 3 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    The American police joke at the start about police brutality had me in tears. Both tears of laughter and also tears of sad relevance.

    • @jaybeemhardscrote7466
      @jaybeemhardscrote7466 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same

    • @1IGG
      @1IGG 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Because of the tear gas, I assume.

    • @kazumablackwing4270
      @kazumablackwing4270 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@1IGG either that, or because they shot his dog

    • @TheSoonToBePurgedJackMeHoff55
      @TheSoonToBePurgedJackMeHoff55 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Chauvin did nothing wrong

    • @lukenel29
      @lukenel29 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      10% of all of the people murdered in the US each year are killed by the police.

  • @MildredCady
    @MildredCady 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Re: $15/hr job
    Well, living in the NYC metro area is expensive. If he was living in NYC itself his rent alone is between $2k-$4k a month depending on where he is for a 1 bedroom apartment, not including utilities, phone, internet, transportation costs, food, and the need to replace worn/broken items/clothes/etc.
    I live outside of Boston with my husband and our mortgage payments for a 3 bedroom house is probably cheaper than his rent.

    • @NecroAsphyxia
      @NecroAsphyxia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      My suggestion would be to... not live in downtown NYC...

    • @MildredCady
      @MildredCady 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@NecroAsphyxia True, but if you’re outside of the city proper it’s still hella expensive and then you have commuting expenses. A monthly metrocard is $127 a month just for the subway. Depending on how far out you move on the Metro North it can be another $200-$500 a month for that unlimited pass on top of the MetroCard.

    • @dudepool7530
      @dudepool7530 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hey fellow Masshole! Worcester still sucks lmao.

  • @emilyc8958
    @emilyc8958 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The worst 'disregard previous email' I ever received was from a disability service provider who meant to sign off with 'regards' but she replaced the 'g' with a 't'

  • @adamtate6168
    @adamtate6168 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Simon: *makes very mild political statement*
    Simon immediately after: "That's not...I'm just saying that...I don't know anything! Leave me alone!"
    And that, boys and girls, is a conditioned response

    • @jeremymizer8958
      @jeremymizer8958 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Problem with his comment is, neither party cares about the little man.

    • @phantomechelon3628
      @phantomechelon3628 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hence all the "Allegedly...thats just my opinion...please don't sue me!"

    • @tapiwa-chipog.maruza1700
      @tapiwa-chipog.maruza1700 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@phantomechelon3628

  • @maeahem
    @maeahem 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Human Resources can get so petty, I can understand the prison officer finding the former job more straightforward.

  • @fusfauxpas
    @fusfauxpas 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Hostboi, Typeboi, and Memeboi did a great job 👌

  • @deathring1133
    @deathring1133 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Simon, remember that the cost of living in NYC is way higher than pretty much anywhere else in the US. So I'd be surprised that this Wade guy could even afford an apartment at $15/hour, assuming he lived alone.

  • @thomasstewart9752
    @thomasstewart9752 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    hearing about your dad chewing gum he hated is kind of heartwarming when you consider that he was probably doing it instead of smoking so that you wouldn't think smoking is cool.

  • @ablbelle8953
    @ablbelle8953 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    My work just had an employee meeting where they tried to get us to sign a paper saying we wouldn't discuss our pay thank you Simon for reminding me about the National Labor Relations Act. Although a few of my coworkers are now pretty pissed about how much I make compared to them.
    Edit: thank you Danny! I forgot that the factboi just reads the paper.

  • @pr0xZen
    @pr0xZen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Wherher 78k is a good salary or not, heavily depend on the cost of living, and how much income you generate for your employer. 78k may be crap for a top salesperson of high value/margin goods and services, that generates his employer a 7-8 figure profit.

    • @eowyn-faramir-reads
      @eowyn-faramir-reads 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah pulling down 40k a WEEK jesus Christ that guys severely underpaid, considering it's a clothing brand and he's pulling in 2mil max per year for his company. That's like... Less than 1% of what he's pulling in for the company in his paycheck.

    • @pr0xZen
      @pr0xZen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@eowyn-faramir-reads Just to get it out of the way: This of course depends a whole lot on profit _margin_ too. In this scenario, if you're pulling in 40k in sales for _the producer,_ that's gonna be a goldmine for the employer. If pulling 40k for _a distributor,_ that's (really) good, but a totally different level of actual profit.

    • @supern0vae
      @supern0vae 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@eowyn-faramir-reads He signed a contract for a 3% commission. That's pretty standard in sales. If he wanted more he could have negotiated for a higher contract.

    • @CrudzMcKenzie
      @CrudzMcKenzie 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      A person can live comfortably on $75k per year pretty much anywhere in the US. I guess it depends on your definition of "good." Of course that's a relative term.

    • @pr0xZen
      @pr0xZen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@CrudzMcKenzie True, but that wasn't the point. This was far more of getting paid "what your work is worth", than what you can fund a comfortable life with. If your employer has very high net profit margin (in clothing profit margin is commonly VERY high for a producer/manufacturer), you're bringing in $2M in sales a year and that's 80+% profit - your work is worth more than 78k/yr.
      A surgeon making mean avg ~$300k/yr, doesn't make that because that what he/she needs to fund a comfortable living. He/she makes that because their work bring in millions a year.
      It's different with at the other end of the spectrum, because there we're often into the opposite - employers that would rather pay you nothing at all if they legally could, regsrdless of whst your labor is worth. No one (that I know at least) is asking minimum wage must be enough for a cushy life doing 40 hours a week. But it should be within reason, enough to _survive living reasonably near your place of work;_ a roof over your head, food, bills, medical neccessities - not facing personal bankruptcy if you get a parking ticket.

  • @lucythecbckidsfan8200
    @lucythecbckidsfan8200 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you for letting me sponsor this video Simon! I’m a huge fan of your content! ❤️❤️❤️ ~ Lucy (P.S. I was snickering the first time I seen this video because i thought you were talking to me)

  • @davidwagner2280
    @davidwagner2280 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    "You dont have to work tell your 18"
    Me in 3rd grade with a paper route because we were so poor I had to buy my own clothing.

  • @Fallassa
    @Fallassa 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is where UNIONS come in!! Unions do what most people *assume* HR does. Solidarity improves conditions for all workers, office and factory, service and production, everyone involved.
    The only way to guarantee an improvement in working conditions for yourself is to improve them for everyone. These days, people (at least those in the US) are underpaid, overworked, chronically sleep deprived, and have incredibly high stress levels.
    We have the technology and resources to make life easier for everyone! There are better ways to exist. Solidarity forever!!

  • @JohnSuave
    @JohnSuave 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    8 words into the script and Simon's asking "what is going on??"... best channel on TH-cam period.
    PS. Sam's use of Rob Ford makes me so happy 😆

  • @FluffieXStarshine
    @FluffieXStarshine 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    A girl I worked with at the mall got fired for pictures of her in front of the store wearing her name badge on social media. She had met a friend for lunch who took a selfie of the two of them before the girl went back to work. The friend tagged the mall and the store, and it apparently was against the corporates rules to take pictures of the store location, unless it's approved by cooperate. She didn't even get a chance to ask the friend to take it down, she just got fired by the end of her shift.

  • @leo.girardi
    @leo.girardi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    You need to get a cigarette sponsor. So those of us that don't smoke, can start, then after a while we can try Lucy. Vertical market.

    • @kgirl1992
      @kgirl1992 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      It’s a silent partnership with lucky strikes

    • @wastedtalent1625
      @wastedtalent1625 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Simon Whistler branded vapes? Count me in

    • @tosh_is_me942
      @tosh_is_me942 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Great way to save money is to take up smoking and then quit

  • @chicklet494
    @chicklet494 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I've worked in HR 24 years now...no one likes HR. Yes, we get a bad rap. Love this video!!! Love your rants and "meandering " Fact Boy!! You're fabulous!!

    • @canyoufearme1
      @canyoufearme1 ปีที่แล้ว

      So even you don’t like yourself? 😂

  • @jeremymiller4280
    @jeremymiller4280 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    That story about the photo of the paycheck reminds me of the Streisand effect. Some examples of that would be fun for a Business Blaze.

  • @TheDungeonofBadDecisions
    @TheDungeonofBadDecisions 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    My dad used to work in HR (for an oil company, I think). He also used to work as a manager for the juniors department in a large store. When I was a kid, I did not know those were two different jobs, based on the way he talked about them - specifically, that he left because he hated the person he was becoming there.

  • @CyborgCharlotte
    @CyborgCharlotte 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    “I haven’t murdered any homeless people lately”
    Do I need to call the police? :P

  • @ceciliaaaxiful
    @ceciliaaaxiful 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I’m just here to see if ETA has been resurrected. We miss you ETA and we pray for your safe return.

  • @Thegreatresetoflife
    @Thegreatresetoflife 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Im here for E.T.A. . .. how you doing buddy? I worry about the treatment you receive by Simon.... now time for an other epic Danny moment #etalifematters

  • @vampy7341
    @vampy7341 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Ok, so I'm laughing hysterically because my husband actually got fired for calling an employee a little b****😂😂😂

  • @jerry2357
    @jerry2357 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Simon must have led a very sheltered life if he doesn’t know that Doncaster is in Yorkshire, and hasn’t heard the common Welsh name Bryn.

    • @mattgies
      @mattgies 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Or he's just not very observant.

    • @danieweir9588
      @danieweir9588 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He can read good ...

    • @icarusmarioFAN
      @icarusmarioFAN 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@mattgies I'm willing to believe this

  • @victorvohntdeampeste9295
    @victorvohntdeampeste9295 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I still think that "Danny" is how Simon explains away his sleep working.

    • @dappperdan5731
      @dappperdan5731 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Fight club style!

    • @barneynedward
      @barneynedward 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dappperdan5731 Mrs doubtfire style.

    • @anon2234
      @anon2234 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@barneynedward lol the idea of Simon crossdressing before just sitting down at a computer to type up a script is great.

  • @appull
    @appull 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I’ve been waiting for you to have Lucy sponsor you again! I successfully quit smoking using The pomegranate flavor! Thank you for having them as a sponsor they genuinely taste so much better than other ones I’ve tried and I’m really glad to have finally quit

  • @zafarsyed6437
    @zafarsyed6437 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    SIMON, I'm confused about your math- $15 per hour to $1,500 per week means he would be working 100 HOURS A WEEK, EVERY SINGLE WEEK FOR A WHOLE YEAR, to make $78,000 annually. At $15/ hour @ normal 40 hour workweek, means $600/ week; $31,200 annually. Was this employee getting a massive bonus of over $46k?
    Time to higher that damn proofreader! 😉

    • @brendonwood7595
      @brendonwood7595 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Commission. Pretty common in sales.

    • @zombiechicken7114
      @zombiechicken7114 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hire!

    • @zafarsyed6437
      @zafarsyed6437 ปีที่แล้ว

      @zombiechicken7114 That was meant as a joke... hire/higher... proofreader...
      Not as funny as it was 2+ yrs ago

  • @jokerincgaming2730
    @jokerincgaming2730 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Simon please bring this format back, miss you blazing with energy.

  • @MrYourfavoritesub
    @MrYourfavoritesub 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love it when Danny delivers a 30 minute script. I live for the long form business blaze videos.

  • @DC4260Productions
    @DC4260Productions 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Anyone else think Simon looks like a completely different person without glasses?
    As for Doncaster, I know it's in Yorkshire. Incidentally I only know of the place because the London and North Eastern Railway used to built steam locomotives there.

  • @AverytheCubanAmerican
    @AverytheCubanAmerican 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    0:56 I got Rick rolled on Business Blaze...
    *I'll allow it*

  • @kimslone5185
    @kimslone5185 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    HR is there to protect the company from liability. They are not there to hand hold employees. Your analogy to Internal Affairs is accurate.

  • @Calenrandir
    @Calenrandir ปีที่แล้ว +2

    One of my favorite teachers was an ex prison guard (he taught English). I guess there are some translatable skills between that and working at US middle school.

  • @chelseaakers7071
    @chelseaakers7071 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I worked for Sony for several years, packaging PS4 games. We had horrible HR and we were always told never to say anything negative about them. I and every employee I was friends with there told people to never apply there again.

  • @ignitionfrn2223
    @ignitionfrn2223 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    7:10 - Chapter 1 - Lost Paycheck
    11:30 - Chapter 2 - Lacoste
    15:45 - Chapter 3 - Weekend bonding
    19:30 - Mid roll ads
    22:30 - Chapter 4 - A lesson in diversity
    26:55 - Chapter 5 - Yahoo you are fired...not

  • @Stettafire
    @Stettafire 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Bryn is a Welsh name, Simon. It's a real name

  • @ilajoie3
    @ilajoie3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Simon figured out what's wrong with the US police system in under 3 minutes

    • @badluck5647
      @badluck5647 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Police Unions

    • @ilajoie3
      @ilajoie3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@badluck5647 They just help perpetuate the police officers' sense of "I'm a police officer, I am the law, nobody can disrespect me, even if they aren't doing anything wrong"

    • @badluck5647
      @badluck5647 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ilajoie3 Unions ensure a lack of accountability for poor performance and misbehavior among workers. This especially problematic for law enforcement who are allowed to use force on civilians.

    • @ilajoie3
      @ilajoie3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@badluck5647 what you're thinking of is something like internal affairs or inspector general. Unions on the other hand act as advocates for benefits or the welfare of the police

    • @badluck5647
      @badluck5647 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ilajoie3 and the benefits the Unions to tend to ask for involve the officers never getting punished for bad behavior.

  • @MissMaddyMads
    @MissMaddyMads 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I work both in HR and as a proofreader. I feel ATTACKED! Thanks Danny

  • @grilledleeks6514
    @grilledleeks6514 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    boy the expiration date on those memes is written in runes.
    I love it!

  • @knurdarcanix
    @knurdarcanix 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Hotmail got turned into Outlook, but anyone who had a Hotmail as an email got to keep it.

    • @wpjohn91
      @wpjohn91 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      And we will never change it

    • @jjlortez
      @jjlortez 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@wpjohn91 and we have a psychopath :)

    • @TrashDeviant
      @TrashDeviant 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I've had the same mobile number since like 2007 and all of my email accounts are Hotmail. Outlook kinda sucks, but I hate making new accounts on anything. I'd rather deal with a shitty UI than the stress of creating new accounts.

    • @TheTokenBilly
      @TheTokenBilly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I still use my 17 year old Hotmail address as my primary email. The only way I'll change is if they make me..

    • @archstanton6102
      @archstanton6102 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hotmail and proud

  • @gabriellavedier9650
    @gabriellavedier9650 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Bryn is a name, it's Welsh. There's a notable college called Bryn Mawr. My best mate's name is actually Bryn and people misspell it as Bryan all the time.

    • @kaycollarfeild
      @kaycollarfeild 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Finally! Was looking for this comment. Makes me really think about changing my mind of my future kids name. Aryanwen (my spelling is atrocious but I'd look into spelling))

    • @kingjellybean9795
      @kingjellybean9795 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have a friend named brain, but thats because his parents only each had a half of one lol

    • @kaycollarfeild
      @kaycollarfeild 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@kingjellybean9795 only each had half of one ?

    • @PokemonRangerGrant
      @PokemonRangerGrant 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Arianwen*

    • @kaycollarfeild
      @kaycollarfeild 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@PokemonRangerGrant ooh got close haha

  • @boomerix
    @boomerix 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    A true story from my old company:
    HR from the United States sends out some weird learning material on how to be a better person at the workplace with big red letters :
    "make sure to study it and don't just tick that you have read it!".
    Shortly after our Management in Europe tells us :"yeah no need to really bother wit it, just tick that you have read it to make them happy".
    I skimmed it, saw that it was loaded with useless bullshit and was glad our management wasn't forcing it down our throats.

  • @syyneater
    @syyneater 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    As someone that worked at Zappos for 5 years, it was an awesome place to work. Our HR team could pretty much out drink everyone on my team, and they were always a pleasure to work with.

  • @HauntedbyApathy
    @HauntedbyApathy 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I almost skipped to the next video during that last ad at the end, but I got distracted, and I'm really glad I did. I'd have missed that last blooper 😂😂

  • @haiironezumi
    @haiironezumi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Bryn Terfel, accomplished bass-baritone singer, would like to have a word with you Simon.

  • @jamielovstromhansen5099
    @jamielovstromhansen5099 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This Business Blaze episode is bought to you by "Stan's Birthday"

  • @deadgoon2170
    @deadgoon2170 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "Deified" Simon-"I'm so stupid"....Immediately says "deified" , again... ha!

  • @enoughofyourkoicarp
    @enoughofyourkoicarp ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Boss: "Do you mind working for free?"
    Me: "Do you mind paying me for nothing?"
    Boss: "..."
    Me: "Exactly."

  • @lainproliant
    @lainproliant 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I like the format. It feels like a nice mix of short form informational content and podcast style exposé.

  • @wfjhDUI
    @wfjhDUI 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    3:54 I also know nothing about working in HR but I would have guessed that it's miserable and soul-crushing work. All day long you need to remind people to behave themselves and deal with other peoples' uncomfortable problems. Is there anything that people in HR actually get to look forward to or feel like they've accomplished?

  • @wschnabel1987
    @wschnabel1987 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Simon, you need some of those novelty no trespassing signs to hang in the background. Got my dad one that is actually a garden gnome giving a middle finger and holding a no trespassing sign.

    • @Digitalhunny
      @Digitalhunny 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That gnome sounds like it kicks ass! 😂

  • @mattatrcc
    @mattatrcc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I am sure it is different everywhere, but here in California employers are not aloud to even discourage employees discussing there pay. Everyone should discuss this with there co-workers, it is the best way to make sure that your employer is paying people fairly.
    I have refused a job before whos employment contract had a provision that we were not aloud to discuss there pay rate with there co-workers, then reported the to the labor board for trying to include illegal provisions in there contracts. I have done the same for an anti-compete clause, also illegal in California, or at least unenforceable.

  • @drboze6781
    @drboze6781 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Some dumb managers tried similar stunts where I worked where they'd bring in recently-hired people from another area to do some job on a weekend, ignoring the proper channels of work assignment. The look on their faces when they got reprimanded and the senior employee got paid 28 hours for staying home that weekend was priceless.

  • @BeccaLovesSRK
    @BeccaLovesSRK 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    17:35 is a still from a markiplier video where he's saying to a minecraft cow "I can milk you". That is the most subtle meme usage ever and I love it.

  • @wiltchamberlain9920
    @wiltchamberlain9920 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I am a proofreader and I will be Danny’s friend if he wants.
    Also, I just recently started watching all the different Simon channels. I most watch BB, but have been going through the backlog (the thousands of years of backlog) of the other channels, too. Though I have found that I have to move carefully. If I go right from BB to Biographics, for example, the change in tone can be jarring. I need to stop by a Megaprojects or Today I Found Out video first to get semi-serious Simon before watching serious Simon or back again to The Boy With the Blaze Simon.
    Also also, Simon cartoon head (like on his merch) is almost indistinguishable from Binging With Babish’s cartoon head.

  • @danielnunez4207
    @danielnunez4207 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I always just assume that bell end was in reference to the tip of a certain appendage

  • @badluck5647
    @badluck5647 3 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    HR department: "Simon, we need a diversity initiative. None of your channels have people of color or women as the hosts."
    Simon: "...."

    • @nicholaslewis8594
      @nicholaslewis8594 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Does Jen in the basement count?

    • @dudepool7530
      @dudepool7530 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Now we're going to get videos of Simon in drag and blackface. Brilliant!

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@dudepool7530 I'm fine with the drag but better not blackface or #cancelSimon will become reality 😂

    • @badluck5647
      @badluck5647 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@stephjovi It didn't hurt Justin Trudeau's career.

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@badluck5647 bc he's not a TH-camr and bc it wasn't that recent?

  • @kendraspenard8792
    @kendraspenard8792 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love long intros here, Danny! (And also love the tangents, Simon)!☺️

  • @BartJBols
    @BartJBols 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I had a team building excersize once that was basically making chocolates at a chocolatier, and afterwards we were treated with nachos and snacks.

  • @MichaelWarman
    @MichaelWarman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Bryn is a semi-common Welsh name (common, that is, among the 30 or so men that live in Wales)...

  • @stevenjlovelace
    @stevenjlovelace 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I only know what a "bell end" is because, for the American showing of "Da Ali G Show", Ali G came on screen an explained the term, complete with an anatomical diagram.

  • @nataschavisser573
    @nataschavisser573 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Our HR actually tried adding demerrits for cynical comments and sarcasm in our performance evaluations. Orwellian over-reach seems the norm.

  • @ManVsPixels
    @ManVsPixels 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The best definition of HR I ever heard was from a HR director: "The purpose of a HR department is to protect the business from it's employees".

  • @RetTheEditor
    @RetTheEditor 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    That salaried one hit me hard.
    The whole month of November, December and February I had to work 65+ hrs a week because they actually scheduled us that for holiday rush and because we were salaried we had to show up and not get any extra pay.

    • @wolfdiabolique
      @wolfdiabolique 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      These guys use British English and in the UK, salary and wage mean the same thing, pay rate per hour, so being salaried doesnt mean paid a set amount regardless of hours (and the inherent unpaid overtime therein) like it does in the US.

    • @RetTheEditor
      @RetTheEditor 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@wolfdiabolique interesting 🤔

    • @wolfdiabolique
      @wolfdiabolique 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@RetTheEditor it's why he gets so confused about the free work--he literally does not know that salaried in the US means the same pay regardless of how many hours you work...

  • @IsaMariaUu
    @IsaMariaUu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I've adopted the use of the term "bellend" after watching so much Business Blaze. My life has since improved by 4%. Thanks Simon and Danny!

    • @Digitalhunny
      @Digitalhunny 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well???? Why didn't _you_ post the meaning of it here.... for me?!😂😂😂 I've been using the term for over a year now, I'd like to know what it means. Um, at least I _think_ I would??🤗🇨🇦

    • @Anton_Chigurh_2007
      @Anton_Chigurh_2007 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Digitalhunny It is slang for the head of a penis. You are welcome.

    • @Digitalhunny
      @Digitalhunny 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks. But I just wanted to give Isa Maria a hard time.😉 It's fun being silly & you make way more weird internet friends!😂

    • @tosh_is_me942
      @tosh_is_me942 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Digitalhunny you wanted to give a hard time to a bell end? 🍆?¿?

    • @Digitalhunny
      @Digitalhunny 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tosh_is_me942 - And what if I do?? What's it to ya?🤣🤣🤣

  • @lolumo
    @lolumo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Simon saying nobody likes a weird outlier is irony personified

  • @SpiralCee
    @SpiralCee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    We need a shirt that says, "What is going on???" LOL 😆

  • @blackm4niac
    @blackm4niac 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    A clip from "Flavor of Love"?
    Oh Sam, you are a man of culture. That show is a treasure!

  • @whatbuttondoipush
    @whatbuttondoipush 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE SIMON! I can't watch your other channels without thinking "well this is dull"

  • @p1rmcbacon463
    @p1rmcbacon463 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Glad to hear that you were able to capture Danny and Sam after they got loose and you had to use those other 2 ppl for the video yesterday. Hope you used thicker chains and locks this time

  • @nellom.8771
    @nellom.8771 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Not even a minute in and the Beard has got jokes. RAID THE BASEMENT FREE DANNY AND SAM RIP ETA

    • @LizRealGirlBeauty
      @LizRealGirlBeauty 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      #neverfreedannyandsam

    • @MinistryOfMagic_DoM
      @MinistryOfMagic_DoM 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      #NeverFreeDannyAndSam #RecaptureBrian

    • @nellom.8771
      @nellom.8771 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@LizRealGirlBeauty I have no words. But I see your message is spreading...interesting

    • @phforNZ
      @phforNZ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      RAID SHADOW LEGENDS THE BASEMENT

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@MinistryOfMagic_DoM agreed never ever free them! For Brian he showed up yesterday and he's on the Facebook group. So he's not hiding well 🤣

  • @brknglasses2734
    @brknglasses2734 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I was living in Toronto during RoFo. He was my favorite mayor!

    • @Digitalhunny
      @Digitalhunny 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      As long as he was only smoking crack on _his_ free time, who cares, right?? Drugs have clearly won that war. If we get rid of the bell end in charge of Canada right now, _we_ can legalize all drugs tax them & get the folks that need it the help they need! Several other 1st world countries have done exactly this & been 99% effective on halting their opioid crisis within 3 years & with 1/4 of the budget that "fighting drugs" costs us all! 🤗🇨🇦

    • @brknglasses2734
      @brknglasses2734 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love in Ontario, and being able to buy pot online has DEFINITELY made cobid easier!

    • @Digitalhunny
      @Digitalhunny 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@brknglasses2734 - AGREED! Let's share an internet spliffs, shall we? *sparks, puff puff PUFF! Passss. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ain't it silly when folks do that?

    • @brknglasses2734
      @brknglasses2734 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol

  • @avalanche1990
    @avalanche1990 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Damn fine job team. Especially the Memeboi Sam. All the memes were sprinkled at just the right moment. Absolutely love that Rob Ford the former Toronto mayor R.i.p. is now a damn fine vintage meme. Factboi Simon did a fantastic job presenting as always. and Danny we'll eventually get around to getting you out of the basement allegedly, but great job on confusing factboi. gotta get your revenge for being locked up somehow, allegedly

  • @tim6582
    @tim6582 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    FYI, while $15 an hour may be a lot in many countries, in the US, what is considered "livable wage" is somewhere between $13-17/hr assuming a 40 hr work week.
    Where I'm at it's right around $15/hr. About 40% of that gets taken out before a paycheck is even issued due to taxes (state and federal) and the company health insurance plan. So $15/hr is more like $9/hr (about $1440/month). Then you have to consider that the vast majority of the US doesn't have public transportation, so most people have a car payment, car insurance, and gas (let's lowball and say about $300/month for transportation). A studio apartment for one person ranges around $800-1200/month, a 4 bedroom apt with 4 roommates will run anywhere from $450-850/month. Utilities are separate, so theres another $75-300 depending on number of ways utilities are being split and how much you need to run your heater/AC, electricity, and water (where I'm at weather temps can get as low as -30F or as high as 110F). Groceries can easily run over $100/week ($400/month). Add in your phone plan and miscellaneous bills (let's say $100/month). Even lowballing everything and assuming you have a bunch of roommates, you're still looking at around $1325 of your monthly paycheck going just to your monthly expenses. That leaves around $65/month to put in your bank account to hopefully cover any other expenses. And that is all for 1 Adult with no children. Add one kid in there, the livable wage goes up over $26/hr, and usually requires both parents to work, especially since minimum wage is only about $8/hr.

    • @tim6582
      @tim6582 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Point being, $15/hr is pretty shit for the top salesman in the company.

  • @LtNduati
    @LtNduati 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Simon may not allegedly do Cocaine, but he is addicted to making legendary TH-cam channels

  • @timothykipruto5260
    @timothykipruto5260 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    $75k a years is an MP's salary in our 3rd world country

    • @mwindanji6714
      @mwindanji6714 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Would that be the one where the minimum wage is $2 per day for labourers at ushago? 75k$ per year plus all the cash they can steal.

    • @timothykipruto5260
      @timothykipruto5260 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mwindanji6714 Exactly!

  • @davidblanck4131
    @davidblanck4131 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have definitely had a "disregard the last email from David Blanck" done on me once. It was glorious. Worth the joke, and I had every level manager or Lead at the time warn me I was in for a "chewing out". In the famous words of Brad Pitt in Inglorious Bastards..... "I've been chewed out before". Still worth it. They begged me to stay when I left a year later.

  • @jimford4192
    @jimford4192 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Simon I assure you that HR doesn’t mind you joking about Danny the rumour is they think you’re an absolute LEGEND!