The Narcissists' Code: Episode 39 - Why the narcissist in your life ghosts you. Self Aware Narc POV
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 2024
- In today's episode I cover a couple of different reasons that a narcissist may ghost you....multiple times if it's allowed.
Welcome to The Narcissists' Code. If this is your first video, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The *buse victims get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
1 on 1s and all my links -- beacons.page/m...
You can find me on Tiktok at MentalHealness & Instagram at Mentalhealnesss. For more detailed videos find me on www.wisio.com, search mental healness. Click the BEACON up top for direct links. Thank you
My narcissist ex ghosted me a week before Christmas because I called him out on his crappy behavior. Once I realized I was being ghosted, I had enough and blocked him on everything to only have him hoover me with balloons on Mother’s day asking if we can be friends. Been No contact for 3 years since. Ghosting is hurtful and cowardice.
My ex hits me up asking to be friends. I never answer his calls. Been no contact for six years now. Never ever going back. As if I would ever consider being his side piece. I'm great blowing up and glowing up. I'm truly enjoying life now. Stay strong.
I believe that my healing came when I forgave myself for allowing someone that deep down inside I knew wasn't good for me. He was cheap, disrespectful, and to be honest he never had anything to offer to a relationship or a friendship. I already had all i needed within me.
Very horrible is ghosting, the worst is I really left them all, and 3 guys I really didn't want any contact anymore...
No no way, I am not interested at all, happy if they're good now, but not interested at all
Buuuutttt, they are in my life????
Can it be more mad??????
Mine has also ghosted me right now, days before the Valentine's Day. I called him out several times for ignoring my questions in text messages. He would always apologize, but this time I didn't even get an apology.
My ex narc ghosted me over his new supply
When someone is this DISRESPECTFUL, SELFISH, INCONSIDERATE, & CRUEL, it wouldn't be wrong to discard them too. Snatch our feelings back & treat them like they don't even matter. There's no benefit to having them around. Very good video!
💯💯💯
Thank you. I really appreciate it
Agree totally
Yes 👍 Jewel you never lied you couldn't have worded it better smdh 😒 this so mind bothering very disturbing 😳 so easy to get into and so hard to get out of too because they become stalking you when ghost 👻 them then the games start smh 🤦 😒 pray all this go away 🙏 🙏 its in God's hands now
@@doelinelewis491 Sorry to hear this happening to you. Some people love to live in dysfunction & spread misery to others. Nothing wrong with reporting this person to the police. Your life isn't to be played with. Be safe.🙏🏽❣
The person who broke you will not heal you, it’s okay to move on without “closure”
Closure for me was realizing he's a narc.
In my experience the ghosting was to create some time alone, because there were other women to entertain
100% this. When I was younger I was hanging out with a group of friends - one of them was a guy who was constantly cheating all his girlfriends. Every time he wanted to cheat, he would ghost his then-girlfriend. If she insisted on why he's disappeared, he'd say "I need some time to sort my head out". 🙄
So true! My gut feeling was that he was cheating I could not prove it. Couple weeks ago he told me he needed space that’s when I knew what I feeling was true. No contact for 72 hrs now and it’s been the worse. 💔
@@TSAUNDERS18 every hour that passes takes you further away from real harm.
Yep!!
Very true, they went away to entertain someone else as they got more attention from them.
Ghosting is awful. My ex did it several times and he used the time to cultivate his 2nd relationship. I found out later that one of the times, he was bringing his new girl home to meet the family. These narcs are shady AF. If someone ghosts you, just leave and block them on everything. Mail them their crap. Do NOT let them come pick it up. Cut them off like they died. For real.
Yup. They’re terrible
A very close friend did that to me years ago. It took years to get over it. He thought he would just walk back into my life without explanation. I said no. Best thing I ever did for myself.
💯
Mailing is expensive.
I was discarded and ghosted 👻 nearly three years ago. When they go off like that let them. You give the final discard. No reason to chase behind someone that doesn’t want to communicate. Let them be. You deserve better!
Yes. Here's what I experience... I want to know if this person is a narcissist.... every time I voice opinion, like nothing really major.... i am told to never ever do that again or I'm locked and ignored. Wtf . I am not sure what I'm dealing with
@@sassygal4727 yes, whenever I wanted to talk about something that happened in the relationship I was ignored.(silent treatment) when I brought up a particular subject again because he didn’t answer me the first time his whole personality changed. It was like he was a different person. Even his voice changed. The devalue had already begun, he was already seeing multiple women and my discard began. He had also told me previously that I was very easy going and I should never change. (He could get away things basically) Research Covert narcissist. It’s not normal behaviour. You may be having cognitive dissonance. A narc will give you the feeling that something isn’t right but you can’t really figure out what it is.
narcissists never really discard you they put you on the shelf on hold so they can return to you at a later date they feel like they own you and you are an extension of the narcissist
A.K.A.
"The Haram Garage "
Sigh ....this is crazy
That’s how I knew he was narcissist because he always came back and he’ll ghost me and still have me blocked and unblocked on some platforms after my class is done next month I will change my phone number
If they can't appreciate your presence, have them appreciate your absence! He would do this frequently. He was grooming another supply behind my back. I remember at one point telling him if he wanted out, that he could. He lied to my face! It's a whole new level of selfishness when you won't let a person go just to keep them strung along until your new supply is hooked! These peeps are just plain sick.
They will never say sorry they will never admit they are wrong
THIS IS NEVER EVER!!
Even if they do it's a fake apology
Believe me, anybody that's in a narcissist relationship is good enough! In fact, BETTER than the narcissist will ever be! Once you realize this, and get out, it will be the best decision you ever made in your life to kick those pieces of crap to the curb. 💪❤️
Be happy with yourself first. Them ghosting you is actually a blessing. If they come back you’re going to go through it with them all over again. It’s really based on your self worth and how much you value yourself to determine if and how soon and well you move on.
I was good enough I don’t have to ask no questions
You go girl just like me I give it everything to have no regrets
Hey Lee can you do a video on why a narcissts will leave things at your place?. It's been 11 months and she still has stuff here including her wedding dress. Multiple hoovers but wants her homemade separation papers signed?. Also maybe some advice on my channel I started. Thanks love your videos
I wasn’t perfect but I was good too 😢
Amen
Right, why waste our time defending ourselves.
The guy I’ve dealt with Ghosts and returns every 4-5 months. It think he’s trying to get better but he’s not better. The crazy thing for me is how many good things happen for me when he’s gone. The ghosting cycles have been going on for 3 years. The final discard is he can’t come back this time because finally I see who he is. It’s sad because he lost a great one, especially a great friend in me.
And the sad part is… he don’t even give a damn.
You’re right.
Same…I been knowing my narc for 9 years…he started the ghosting episode in 2018…. So from 2018 to 2021..the same repeated patterns…. I’m now realizing that he will NEVER change..I even told him he needs to communicate better & don’t ignore me if I ever reach out.. he agreed..we was good for a while…then back to the same repeated bs…with him it be every 3-4 months when he comes back.. this time I’m not going through this.. I’m tired.. he just lost a trill ass friend.
@@LovelyyyyyyDove I’m so over it. He moved to my hometown and started ghosting me. I helped him and supported him, as soon as he felt the grass was greener he was out. Said I was never supportive and only cared about myself. The problem was I had forgotten about myself and only focused on his dreams. Nothing was ever enough. This last ghosting was after I said I overheard a stranger at this gallery we were volunteering at ask him a lot of questions. I thought it was funny he said I violated his boundaries. I’ve known this man since 2001 and he discards me for overhearing a conversation? It sucks realizing it was all fake. He never cared. It was all a lie. That’s what hurts the most knowing it was all a lie. He knew I loved him and played that against me. I’m getting better, my confidence is almost completely back and good things are coming my way.
@@andreaakachocolatedimples5457 that’s crazy..smdh…then they come back like nothing even happen.. I believe my ex narc discarded me cause it was just something strange about that day.. like in a way I kinda felt like this Day was going to be the last..I felt it strongly…well I did make him breakfast the following morning..he was rushing me & I told him I don’t have to be even doing this .. I’m doing it cause your my friend… so the least You can do is be patient.. he was like BET .. but I believe he Also felt some type of way also…. Anywho a few weeks pass up I text him…he did responded….I thought everything was coo…but then another several weeks pass by and no word so I reach out again.. but this time no response up until today…haven’t heard from him since April.. the last time we kick it was in March…but I’m done I don’t even care anymore.
Amen the grass wasn’t greener on the other side.
Ghosting is a narcissist signature move that the masses adopted. Lee is always on point 💓💫💯💥 . DO NOT begg for closure! You will never get it!! You'll get a lie AT BEST!! I FEEL fo it r 5× and ended up wanting to punch myself for falling for a lie. Thsnk you so much 💓 for what you do Mr. Lee and HAPPY MENTAL AWARENESS MONTH ❤💞💕💓
I was told by a therapist to create my own ending. Then I I can get my own healthy closure. Whether it's true is irrelevant, it's closure and healthier.
I believe most narcissists are self aware, it’s just whether they are motivated enough to seek help to understand themselves.
🎯🎯🎯
Trauma of cluster B’s actually causes damage of the brain and lack of emotional memory. Stellate Ganglion block is the only reset yet!
When the narcissists has realized that you know that they know what they are they will ghost you because their little bag of tricks no longer work. The best thing that can ever happen to anyone if they leave when you figured out what a narcissist truly is.
People please be careful of people saying they are self aware narcissist. You have to also understand that many people are now learning about narcissist. These people can make you feel as if the narcissist can change giving you false hope that your ex can do the same and your sucked back in to thinking there is hope for your relationship. Do not feel sorry for someone who wanted you dead. No contact no hope. Put yourself first always. Self love.
You need to watch more than this video
I do. Thank you
He is giving great experience and truth to how a narcissist ghost you. This is true. It’s a trick for the narcissistic to feel important. If a person leaves you like that you don’t want them anyway. Unfortunately they usually try to come back. Mental illness is the issue 💜🙏
While part of me agrees with you, the other part of me has to believe that God CAN AND DOES change people. While I am completely no contact with my ex narc, actually in process of divorce, while I know right now I could never trust or believe a word he says, while I can't right now forgive his abusive behavior, I still pray for him and for God to touch his heart. I appreciate this man's videos. It helps to know the narcissist's thought process. Also helps to know help is available to them if they chose to seek it. 🙂🙏
@@anndra1160 God can change a person, but that person has to want to change. Ex: God has given us Jesus to take away our sins and live for him, but the sinners has to want salvation that Christ offers. Same with a narc. That's why so many people are going to hell, because they have made a choice yo not want what Jesus has to offer, therefore death and hell awaits them.
Thank you for clarity. I was literally about to make the worst mistake of my life. I was ghosted by what I thought was my friend. I really from the kindness of my heart did my best to be a great friend and supporter. I wanted to know why after months of no contact but after listening to this divine message I have decided to give myself permission to close that door. Thank you so much.
When it comes to ghosting, I had to learn it the hard way. Oftentimes, no answer is the answer. It may be non-verbal, but that person is saying by action that they don't prioritize us. A narc will feel entitled to have their cake and eat it too. Don't be the cake, and don't let them eat you (up inside).
When you were too good for them you know it and block them on everything, you want no association with them ever again because your life is progressing in an amazing way your making your dreams happen and are firing on all cylinders, you see it for what it is and have moved on and are happier and more confident than ever thankgod you dodged that bullet, when you get ghosted because you called out the bad behaviour and are mentally strong and confident, you cannot be broken, you would not put up with that, you do not make good supply #ghosted.
Topic suggestion: Not sure if you already touched upon this topic, but I’d like to hear more about what happened to you in your childhood that turned you into a narcissist, so we can have a better understanding about what contributes to there being so many Narcs out here now.
He said he's putting in his book. It will be chapter 1
@@Joyagb5463 Thanks Joy! ☀️
Lots of them that I have encountered, was due to unhealed/unresolved "Mother wounds "
@@rpmcmurphey927 word!! I am more than sure this is the igniting factor.
Sign of the times is ONE reason.
2 Timothy chapter 3 verses 1-5 says people would be like that
I closed down all social media platforms. Only watching channels like yours. Learning!
I want to get rid of all my streaming services and just watch educational stuff. Feel like I waste so much time.
I'm so thankful I found your channel... I thought I was going crazy but your video has validated what I experience IS REAL.... Thank you...
You are so strong🫂
Hope you get out and heal.
Unaware victims of narcs end up staying in the cycle due to the constant manipulation & pathological lying behaviour & actions from the narcissist. So in reality the unaware victims are not making balanced & informed "Free Will" decisions as their mind set has been wrongfully twisted by the narcissists. Pathological lying in a relationship definitely never equates to & or with "Love".
Thank you. This makes a lot more sense than what people keep posting on Quora about how a lack of self-esteem with the victim comes into play from the beginning. I had high self esteem the whole time I was with my ex-fiance who did all the classic things a narcissist does and I still got trauma bonded and PTSD. The guy I was with was just that skilled at seeming "sweet & innocent" and "enamoured" with me from the beginning, so I put up with his increasing BS out of loyalty AND as you said, I was just plain unaware. I guess loyalty + lack of awareness + being in denial about the narc's lack of integrity = a prime target.
I'm not disagreeing with you.
Keep in mind, that narcs are attracted to co-dependants, because they rely on others as well- (but they do it for a different type of fuel supply)
Forget them live for you we die alone they not right
My best friend knows deep down that her husband is a narc but she will not admit it. I tell her that since she let him come home after being in jail for violation of probation of a DO NOT CONTACT ORDER from his ex, after treating her like crap over the phone while in jail, that she’ll put up with any behavior he feels like giving her. LONG STORY SHORT: she stays because this relationship should work and he SHOULD be a kind and affectionate husband. I said should but doesn’t amd why do you want to waste your valuable time?? Now, she does t say one negative thing about him or their relationship so she’s just keeping it all bottled up because she knows it’s ridiculous to keep complaining about how horrible he treats her and stay with him. It’s really created a problem with our relationship because we don’t talk on the phone if he’s anywhere around. Oh well, 25 yrs of friendship over a lousy lying narc! 😢
Mine was on a 2-3 week ghosting cycle. In the beginning it was horribly confusing and painful. Later, I could predict when I would hear from him. I always wanted to know how he could treat me like that and he promised he never would again, but he always did. There is no change, only false promises.
You look & sound like the narcissist that I believed in. He has done nearly everything you described in your videos. You’re helping me heal. Thank you. It’s been 6 mos but it still hurts.
My ex would never break down and return to me. In the million arguments we had i was always the one to go back. He laughed. This time I've had no contact for 1 year, 2 months. I will not go back.
I think that's what is happening to me. I recently left and asked to have time to heal and now my husband is no longer contacting me. I always had to be the one to leave and the one to return.
@@vonnie5623 yeah same here I would ask him to leave for being disrespectful or he'd leave but then it was always me coming to get resolution. Some times he's be soon stubborn over the smallest arguments like he would drag on a grudge over it for days and weeks. But with him he would leave and then when we'd talk on the phone or text he'd just tell me horrible crap about myself and how he wasn't coming back even if it was a time when he was abusive. Like completely twist it around to make u think u should be sorry and beg for them even after the abuse or lies. Or then if I'd catch him in a big lie or he ran out of money he them wanted to come back and apologize. But every time he did come back I had to get h and after berating me over and over and breaking me done he then wanted to apologize and give me his love crumbs. Until the next cycle came around and he'd get distant again and then tension would boil up. It was so hard and it still is trying to understand the callusness. we had a baby together during all this and he was unsupportive and selfish. I guess they didn't have a reason to ghost because they knew we'd come get them and that made them feel good.
Why would you want him to break down? Sounds like you are the problem
@@kennyishola9423 I think you may have misread or misinterpreted somehow. I think maybe their auto correct may have influenced the choppy text...lol...
Well done keep going .
Got married to a girl who I thought was the girl of my dreams (love bombed me sensless), right after the wedding I started to see a different person. Within a few months, the way she treated me was unbelievable. I have done alot for her but she will never ever say one good word about it but only complain and insult me for what else I could have done and that I was not up to her expectations. Felt so destroyed. Always put her first but she put me last. Her friends were way more important to her and even with a few of them she showed her real self and hated them. After watching you brother I understand what she put me through. I hope you will get cured of this and never be anything like her. Your words are helping me heal from my sadness and heartbreak. Bless your soul.
She’s not going to be cured. Sorry. It’s terrible.
Did your own mother, treat you the same way?
Honest question.
My ex said he changed his mind the day after a 17k wedding. He was cheating at month 3 into the marriage. The truth is, as soon as a narc has you, they immediately move onto to the next challenge. They lack empathy and compassion. Run from these evil people.
I know I'm late to seeing this video.... but Thanks.. when you said that ghost is rejection which equals obsession.... that was freeing to me. So in so many words the bigger the trauma the bigger the obsession for the victim.
stay strong
I could care less why my ex narc ghosted us (me and our children) it's the best thing he could have done and we are THANKFUL!! Can't put a price on peace
When he ghost me I am glad because I don't have to deal with his disrespect and craziness.. He is doing me a big favor by ghosting. He is not hurting me. I welcome the new supply so he can focus on someone else and leave me the "H" alone. I wish more power to him. Ghost on and stay gone. The new supply will go through the same thing.
Hey brotha.. Is there a way u could make a video talkin about the dark thoughts inside the narcs mind about themselves?
Basically a narc distracts themselves all the time w people to avoid "THESE DARK THOUGHTS"?
Appreciate ya brotha.
I want this topic too
They are extremely insecure but they blow themselves up to appear larger than they are to the public eye. They waste a tons of time and energy with this false image like a gerbil on a wheel.
They do distract themselves with others so that they can avoid feeling like the waste of space that they know they are
Great question! My ex N once told me that he sympathized with Charles Manson... Yeah, there is darkness there.
Pleasseeeeeeeeeeee the ppl needdd it….
@@tranquility9325 yes they are very insecure
Also, the closet of women waiting to be with them... the “harem”
Triangulation... my husband put me in third party messes repeatedly. This last time I think I was a prop to bring his new gf and him closer.
wow
My triangulation now only he has not found lol that One 🤔
That also happened to me. He said he was over his ex and then he kept contact with her until he finally ghosted me and I saw a picture of them both 3 weeks later
@leahwebb5123I hope you left the relationship..
I remember those broken people from before social media. Those whose spouse went on a short errand and never returned. Only clue they must be alive would be noticing things missing and then they'd realise it was planned
Wow I cant believe you're a narcissist I wasn't expecting that. You have a really positive bright and kind energy about you, and congratulations on your therapy.
And he'd rip you to shreds, regardless-
@@rpmcmurphey927 Depended if he wants too. He seems like he is in a good place mentally and making positive changes in his life and those around him despite his disorder, all I have immense respect for
I agree
This is crazy! Do narcissists ever get tired of searching for new supply? Do they ever get frustrated going from relationship to relationship love bombing over and over only to have the same end results? Seems exhausting!!
Hi Lee. I really appreciate hearing your perspective of your mental health condition. Recently my husband and myself have had to deal with a narcissist that is most definitely taking great joy in causing discomfort in our lives. We have been trying to make arrangements to resolve a situation . When I asked a direct question about the name of a person we need to call and their phone number the Narcissist himself fired back with a threat to myself, my husband and our kids. Thankfully I recognized what he was doing and have every word in the form of text messages. Now we are taking this situation a step further with a lawyer. We will do whatever he recommends from here on. I have listened to what you have said about narcissistic personality disorder and definitely feel that we are making the right choices now regarding this situation. Your honesty is very relavent and appreciated. You are helping my family through my newly gained knowledge . Thank you for your help. Have an amazing day. In the future could you discuss how to deal with a narcissist in legal matters when the Narcissist isn't being very cooperative or helpful ?
The peptalk we all needed but haven't been ready for until now.
When i started treating my husband as crappy as he has been doing me for years off and on...he left me 🙃😁 so I was right along.. it was shitty
Thank you for your bravery. You have become self aware and helping people. That is commendable. I was told I was going to be removed from Social media although he didn't block me from his phone. The messages were sending. No response.
This explains everything. I wasn’t sure what was happening or what it was called. Every word you have just said is exactly true. I just lives this for 3 years. Now I’m trying to find me and who I am
I was talking to someone for 3 months and he ghosted me right after our last date. My mind was like wtf? I reached out 3wks later and he actually LMk he was diagnosed as a narcissist. I’m sure he did it for his personal benefit but he did me a favor for sure.
Hey Girl, If that's you in that little Pic. Looks like his Loss. Keep moving.
@@davidcoppotelli3957 thank you. Yes that’s me.
@@no1zzle3 I'm Glad that's You. This isn't a dating site. As soon as I saw that smile. I knew I wanted to come and get you, and go for a Pizza Lunch. Happy you you sent that back on a Sunday Night.
@@davidcoppotelli3957 ☺️☺️
How did you know he was diagnosed a narcissist?
When you said the stuff about needing to take some time and figure out what they really wanted 🤔 😳 hit home hard. I got the "i didn't just ghost you, I didn't talk to anyone at all in those 2 months" and I'm like.... sounds suss but okay 👌 until they dipped out again 🤦♀️🙄🤣 cannot make this crap up. I guess sometimes you just need to hear it! I thank you for validating the victims because sometimes I do feel like I'm going crazy and she sure tells me its all in my head 🤷♀️😪 you're helping a lot of people and I wish she'd become self aware but after knowing her 21 years and her being a complete dumpster fire for 13 of them, I've given up hope. Then hope whispers - and you help me tell hope to shut up! Thank you again
The ghosting IS the closure.
Only time people feel like that is because they aren’t healed themselves. My belief is a narc comes into your life to help you to figure out what needs to be healed in you. Sick n tired people thinking that their in love. Shit not love it’s just codependency.
Exactly that's what he said. That I'm a "willing participant".
Messed up monsters.
G is for.....gone is the narcissists.
H is for....happiness is here.
O is for... overload of crap.
S is for... silent treatment.
T is for...Time for self love.
E is for...end of the road.
D is for...discarded the narcissists.
NOW THIS IS MY MEANING OF GHOSTED.
👻👻
I love when you say things like... "I'm a narcissist, what do you expect?" Or... "I know everyone isn't a narcissist.. duh!" 😂😂
😂 i have to keep saying it cause people will comment it every video lol
My friends use to refer to my ex’s excuses when coming back as “movie lies”. They were over the top Tyler Perry screenplay lies
Talk about Narc childhood trauma. What cause them to become a narc
Their relationship with the parents, something they said or didnt say.. Do or didnt do. The parent have their own problems from their childhood and pass it on.. The narcicist treat their partner Like the parents relationship... My narcicist dad is a narcicist and the Mother being the victim.. So thats what they learn
Hey Lee, I would like to know about the stalking they do. Why do they stalk after a discard or ghosting? Thank you
Makes no sense to me at all
I’ve wondered that also
It’s guilt!
So true.when I finally had seen him after the brutal discard for someone else, he just gave me word salad and more lies, but was talkimg normal (still passive aggressive) , but when I spoke to him on the phone, wow, it was a whole other person,back to lying, belittling, putting me down acting completely different, almost like he had an audience (her) and such a different conversation to when I seen him face to face. Makes me sick that all I wanted was closure and I didnt get it both those times. When he spoke to me to my face he acknowledged 'some' things but lied about her, on the phone I asked wtf did I do to deserve this? What did I do to you to get this disgusting treatment? All he had to say, oh you know, I've been telling you for ages, I'm like WHAT??? Did I make you cheat? Did I torture you? What did I do? Its like you hate me, what did I do? He's just like, I gotta go, not getting into this, it's Saturday and I just got home from work and you're running my weekend, I've had enough and hung up! POS
What they say to when they are being mean /in "rage" IS exactly what they think of you.
I can relate to your entire scenario it just happened to me haven't heard a word since it hurts so much because i kept asking before this was there someone else he denied it next thing you know he ghosted me.i just keep praying for God to take him out of my system so i can have my own closure.This has taught me to Love myself more than others.he hasn't blocked me yet but won't answer or return my text so i stopped trying i was only hurting me more.
Mine did the same thing
That reminds of the time my ex manufactured an argument and ghosted me. At a party when we got back together, somebody asked him what happened to the other girl. I was like what??? Before I could take him to the side to ask him about it, he took me to the side to tell me that was when I broke up with him. I'm so glad I'm out of that relationship. That's why I had to get in therapy. Somebody like that is dangerous, I do believe.
They have a new supply or clouser,thats why no contact is so important..👍
That's MY birthday too! Same day, different year, how funny! Anyways, thank you for the videos, I've learned a lot from them. Recently separated from what I believe to be a "vulnerable narcissist w/antisocial personality traits". 6 years. Hardest thing I've ever been through in my life, from beginning to end. I appreciate the insight more than you know! Keep up the good work! And thank you again, sincerely.
you’re welcome
PS - We love your awareness! So real! Helps us so much! Can you do one on manipulating kids? My kids are 21&23 but I feel like he started manipulating them years ago when I started to realize something was seriously wrong!!! Please :) maybe on even manipulating family members? Anything even close to this? U are so real! So appreciate your videos!
If you're still looking for information on this, look up 'parental alienation'.
I appreciate your honesty here Lee..i just have to say that it is a right of passage to discern whether or not that someone is right for us. Usually when we have these attempts at relationships, we have someone like our mother or father to give us wise counsel...but you know that many families are broken up..its either just the mother or just the father or no parents except grandparents or aunt or uncle or no one at all. So when it's time to decide on someone to have a relationship with or not...when we don't have immediate council..and the person in question is discarded initially based on pure instinct, the answer is to let them go..the one that you did not find favor with...but if we have no backing..no mother...no father..and the narc persists beyond the basic instinct...and takes advantage of this vulnerable person and continues to call upon their kind nature and ultimately uses them over and over again...well this action should be against the law..because if it's not held accountable by man's law...it will be held accountable by Gods law, which is to "Owe no man anything but to love one another. For He that has loved another, has fulfilled the law".
Absolutely right on, give yourself closure. 👍🏽
Mine discarded me a month ago
Told me to pack my stuff and leave
Mind you I was 900 miles away from home
He got tired of me because I started standing up for myself
I get an email from him the other day telling me I chose to leave and that when I did leave, he died that day. These people are the most evil people on the planet
God help us all who ever has or had to deal with them
This is the perfect video I need to see as it has been a week so far of being ghosted. Now watching 👀
Btw.. I love your personality. I'm a new sub.. learning and taking notes to help assist me with my current situation of dealing with a possible narc 🤦
You got this!
@@MentalHealness Tysm 🙏 appreciate it💙
All facts, say it wit that same exact lil smirk on their faces 😂😂😂it’s crazy to hear u say this n then flashes of the past went across my mind to those times n they feel n act exactly the way u explained it!
You are right on...... described my Narc to a capital T. Thank you for the truth, some ppl need to hear this ie; me.. it hs given me the info I needed to understand what I already knew. Needed to validate my sanity. What a waste of 23yrs
It is good to hear a simple discussion about these people . Enjoyed it.
🙏🏽
Some of them don't want to give you nothing. As soon as you start asking for help. They will disappear. But you have helped them a lot. Selfish.
OH and PS closure means you all are expecting an apology. Remember they are NOT sorry. So you will do yourself a world of good to just move on and help others who are going through this.
that's true they aren't sorry 😞 even if they are they take it back or didn't mean it.
Since you asked, I would love to offer a few topic suggestions! 1) The first suggestion is about narcissism and substance abuse, which seems to be an issue with so many who have NPD. What’s your take on WHY most narcissists use drugs and alcohol, and how that impacts their relationships with their partners, kids, friends, etc. 2) If “it takes one to know one” can be applied to NPD, then what would you say are the top 3 things that tip you off when you encounter another narcissist? ✨3) This is very personal but if you’re willing to share, then I’d be so interested to hear about your family dynamics growing up! What do you think made the difference in you developing NPD while your twin brother didn’t?
Thanks so much for all you share-it’s invaluable! The sad truth is that so many people who have been entangled with narcissists-from parents to partners to any other significant relationship-would be willing to stand by them if the narcissist were willing to take responsibility and be open (and committed) to therapy. But since most of us will never get to experience that kind of accountability from the narcissists in our lives, it’s really helpful to get these insights from someone who IS willing to do the work! Thank you! 😊
These are good! ☝🏾
I’d also like to hear more about addiction and NPD. The psychology and behavior that goes with addiction seems to overlap with NPD. How can you tell if it’s just addiction or addiction with NPD?
Wow!! This sounds JUST LIKE ME AND MY EX!!! Thank u bro for this very true info!!! Bless this guy
Here in lies....the maturity level of a narc...oh let me run away and see what new toy I can find but I want to have the old toy sitting there just waiting for me & no one better take the old toy either. Ha! What a joke! Narcs always think someone or something will be better. It's a constant void in their soul that will never be filled. RUN!!
I love your qualities may they manifest you greatly for staying in counseling when you clearly needed it to become better for this crooked world.👍👍
Ghosting is the pits. Leave asap. Thank you Lee
I've recently subscribed to your channel, just so I can get a perspective on what a narcissist is actually doing, why they're doing it, and how. I commend you for what you're doing because as you know (no narcissist and their right mind would even dare of doing on ONE platform never mind three or four platforms). Thank you for helping me understand that it wasn't anything that I did wrong for them to go with me. It is a pretty sad way of dealing with the situation especially (if you're caught red-handed). Thank you for the validation
you’re welcome. stay strong
How to trust others. And how to test a person to know if they are a narc. And do most narcs have a lot of marriages. That’s my contribution for more topics Lee.
Got it. I can do a vid on it
Ty
He asked for a break and never contacted me again. I never reached out. It's been 3 weeks. That's not quite ghosting but still sucks. This is the longest we haven't spoken except the 1 breakup where he spent he spent whole time trying to contact me for 2 months then popped up since he couldn't reach me. This time I assumed he's done. Now the healing begins but it still feels like a lack of closure. Especially when it was via text and everything I tried to discuss was dismissed.
Wow! Thank you for sharing this as a diagnosed Narcissist.
This is an interesting topic and dynamic I've experienced this with a narcissist and my interpretation of it was always they were the ones who were afraid they would get left and dropped and never spoken to again. so they felt they had to do it first. they would have to do the ghosting first to help their insecure broken ego and heart. so as long as they continue this cycle that they create no one can hurt them again. they're the ones doing the hurting because they feel that's how people would treat them. so they have to do it first to gain a sense of control and validation to believe they are wanted or needed and to give themselves worth through all of this negative behavior that they've taught themselves through having a broken self from childhood. yet they still never feel better through all these negative patterns. These patterns of hurt create mental problems in themselves and in those around them.
they have a broken heart that they've never been able to heal from when it was initially damaged. so they look at themselves as Heartbreakers yet they're the one who has the biggest broken heart. whenmy narcissist would come back, I always knew when they were going to ghost and why they were doing it. I always just felt like what's wrong with this person? like is there something that I can do to help this person? because they got a problem. I never looked at it as I had a problem. if I felt sorry for myself I would but most of the time I always felt like what's wrong with this person? why they keep doing this what's their mental problem? so one time I actually contacted their mother and said I think your child has a mental problem and you might need to you know watch him because they might end up killing themselves or doing something crazy. so I always felt like I needed to help this person and I removed my feelings as much as I could because I knew that this was how they behaved because they were afraid that I was going to be the one that actually dropped they dumbass. so I think you should speak on it from that standpoint because I think that's the part why a lot of these so-called narcisstist self hating broken hearted people who are all broken up ghosts. they're afraid that that's what's going to actually happen to them. it's a mirroring effect so they got to do it first. cuz they're totally screwed up in their head and their psychi in their heart and in their ego. And cause all the others around them the same pain they in it takes those around them to understand what the duck is going on to stop the madness. Mediate and Seek God to heal your brokenness god can do it fo sho.
I was ghosted a few times. So I ghosted him. Sold my house and moved out of state with no contact, no notice and no goodbye. I one upped him by ghosting. him. 🤣
Good for you! 👏👏👏
😂😂😂
So I just got ghosted randomly and I thought it was bc I was complaining about his behavior. But he blocked me on Snapchat first and I asked him why and he said so I wouldn’t continue to get in my feelings about anything he posts. And then soon blocked me on everything. I reached out to him thru someone else’s phone bc I really just thought I was wrong or did something wrong and he was so mean to me and told me to leave him alone. He unblocked me at one point and idk what that means but honestly I’m sad I even questioned myself bc I know I did nothing wrong but I’m just now finding out he had narcissist traits so this was very helpful in understanding what happened to me.
He has the problem!! Sounds like a cheater to me. You will je4al and find someone better.
Both of my children are cancers :) Thank you, Lee, for sharing your perspective. So helpful and healing for me!!
Thank you
WAIT!!! Are most cancers narcissist? My husband is a Cancer as well? He has actually became my cancer making me physically sick, mental and emotionally sick.... Ugh...
@@sandrastubbs581 No, I don't think so. My children are cancers and are not narcissistic - they are lovely, kind people. My ex (the narc) is an Aquarian.
Thank you for the clarification.... I've know several narcissist and all of them were cancers.... God bless thank you
I'm a narc magnet, I have been through relationships/friendships with 4 cancer narcs, it's weird all the narcs in my life have been cancers, even my father lmao.
Mine two man narcs were cancers too.🤦🏾♂️
I’ve had cancer narcs too
Hey Lee, when I discussed divorce with my ex narcissist, he said "well there is no more communication now". 😄He has no idea what good news that is to me! AND...it is like he fell off the face of the earth. Over a year and haven't seen him anywhere. We live fairly close and our jobs are really close to each other, haven't seen him - it's a wonderful life! Used to see him all the time before that and he used to do the drive by. Not anymore! Yipee!😁
I love that you step forward! I respect you a lot! Many need to see you its a big Hope for those we have to let go of
I got ghosted whilst pregnant. I didn't know at the time he was a narc. I got a call from his friend saying that he was in hospital following a heart attack. Now he was the victim & I forgave only to be ghosted again when the child was 8 months. Took him back again & married him after 2yrs only to realise what a monster he is. What a fool I've been
Are u in therapy? U are not a fool by the way........just a person who trying to be a decent human being.
You aren't a fool. Give blame where it's due. On the skilled liar.
Talk about the violence and the scare tactics
This is helpfull, hearing from a narcissist perspective thanks alot 🌞
Glad it was helpful!
Wow this explains soo much!!!!
I had one to ghost me but turn around and Hoover/ Harass me. Then got mad I wouldn’t give no attention to him. I acted like I didn’t even know him. He really got pissed.
My narc did it for a form of control and abuse ,just to munipulate and throw a temper tantrum.Sometimes for hours ,but would always calm down and talk later that day .....it's abusing control !!
🤯🤯😩😩
Omg im a cancer too july 14th. Anyway great video thanks so much.😁😁😁😁🙏🙏🙏💖💖
I have been ghosted 30 years, without even knowing, almost not remembering them?
Yes remembering how horrible it was to be with them, that's why no way I want to be back with them.
What is so stupid is that a narcissist thinks the relationship is still open for them to come back to (possibly) after ghosting.
N E V E R. They will never be given the chance to come back. Ive had that happen to me and I literally told the person that they were and always will be DEAD to me and went on to let my behavior indicate that I wasnt playing.
A narc never expects that. When someone shows me that they are a narcissist, I listen and have NO space for them in my entire universe. They arent worth it. Narcs should stick with other narcs.
At 2:32, you can block someone back on instagram, but only if you've previously messaged them. That's how you find the profile. I don't block people.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and lending advice!
you're welcome
@MentalHealness thank you lee
God bless you !!! Keep teaching lord knows it's needed in this world!! I must say you are strong and God gotcha!!
🙏🏽🙏🏽
That exact thing happened
Face to face “closure” led to last worst Hoover
It
SUCKED
oh my goodness
@@MentalHealness 😆 Sorry I couldn’t resist
Right, it was the obsession of why he ghosted me that I didn't like the feeling of.
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The narcissist in my life only texts me during the week day and on the weekends he ghost me and then comes back on Monday or Tuesday like if he just did not ignore me for 3 days 🙄 & sometimes I wonder why does he do this?
Sounds like he’s in a relationship and you’re his person on the side
@@MentalHealness Do I confront him about it or do I just block him? When I don’t reply back to him he double texts me so I reply back and then he ignores me again.
Block. Delete. Ignore...he's wasting your time.
@@prometheuspredator7971 yeah I was dealing with the same thing and I’ve been dealing with him for 6 months and everything been rocky but he came back with his apology and I accepted it and things was good then he started to devalue and this week he just went ghost. Then would text me hi and not call me back or sleep on the phone anymore. I’m caught up and don’t really know what to do. Is it possible I can talk to you or something I would really appreciate your help .
@@prometheuspredator7971 Thank you! I needed to hear this! Is just so hard, I feel addicted to him. I do deserve better and want better.
HD Tudor says there is no final discard...is disengagement as we are your property. We just put on the shelf until needed
🤔🤔
My ex from 3 years ago recently contacted me out of nowhere a few months ago boohooing to me that the woman he ghosted me for that she was cheating on him (he knocked her up while we were together and married 3 months after he ghosted me). When I asked him what his reasoning was for breaking up with me he gave me some bs about how he had to figure somethings out in himself, which was an automatic lie. Well fast forward he begged me for weeks to hang out and repeatedly to take him back saying things like he was an idiot for leaving me and that he should have married me Blah!Blah!Blah! Lol. It took me a few years to even try to move on from the pain he put me through because he left me when i was pg with his twins (which i sadly miscarried.) Instead of giving me the truth this time around he was still continuing with the lies, well anyway when I told him I was happy in my life but was willing to possibly stay friends. Apparently that wasn't good enough for him because now he is back to ghosting me but I'm in no way phased by it.
I do wish the best for him but I refuse to be hoovered back into being a part of his toxic relationship circle.