I'm a full-time Ericksonian hypnotherapist, NLP trainer, and consultant to multi-billion dollar corporations. I specialize in teaching advanced communication skills, like negotiation and persuasion. Of course, what Tony is saying here is spot-on: The one thing that I would add is that the biggest mistake people make when thinking about 'matching and mirroring' is that they conceptualize it as merely a gimmick, or a 'technique'. It's not. What matching and mirroring really is, is a way to use all your communication channels (words, voice qualities, and body language) to convey an unconscious message. That message is, "You are not alone in your experience. I'm like you, and I'm on your side." THAT message is what is critical. How you convey that message is both a matter of art and authenticity in communication.
+Jul ofDenial i think this is more about intimacy than mirroring. If the person you were dancing with dressed like you,moved like you i don't think it would work.
@@PaulPeixoto shame it's a load of nonsense that even the person who did the original research has denounced saying it's been taken completely out of context
@@marcnellis6504 I have to disagree. I've studied Dr Mehrabian's work and if interpreted correctly is applicable to daily communication. It is true that many apply his work incorrectly. I've conducted 100's of workshops that have advanced the participants communication skills immensely.
Hi Mr. Tony Robbins, I am a curriculum developer from a training and development company based in Singapore. I came across your wonderful video on "How to Build Rapport" and feel that showing the learners this video would be beneficial. Therefore, can I seek permission to use your video to augment my lecture in a classroom(not more than 25 learners) setting with proper crediting done. :)
Tony I get this and agree to a point but I have to say I have had someone who starting mirroring me and I have to say I was so annoyed by it as I could see through it. It drove me crazy... it felt like they were mimicking me like a child would do repeating everything I say... So I would suggest to those who wish to use this tool in building rapport... DONT OVERDO IT!!!
You are one of the few smart people here. Fakery to gain advantage is humanities downfall. He’s just read a whole load of self help books & this doesn’t mean he knows what he’s talking about.
@@ultimatetruth7982 mirroring normally happens organically between 2 people when they genuinely connect. It develops over time and happens a lot with people who love each other with partners even great friends. Using it to fake people into a false sense of connection goes against my authenticity and ethics. Its wrong and no one should do this even in business.
Copying/mimicking someone is not really about building a rapport it’s about trying to be similar to that person, it is more about being part of group. The group relies on conformity to unify its members. In human history the best examples are extremes like Nazis who demanded actions, clothes etc Building rapport.. If someone is angry and you mimic the anger it doesn't necessarily build rapport, especially if the anger is returned to the sender. However most would like positive emotions to be returned or mimicked. Example sometimes flattery can work to gel and gain rapport. A talker needs a compassionate listener. Building rapport is sometimes more about achieving a positive balance.
Copying/mimicking is building rapport. He cited Wilton Erickson and explained how it's has more so to do w/your unconscious mind, which is more powerful than your conscious mind.
@@PrDannyRomero Not really, Danny. I think when he mentions when you mimic the breathing of someone, he really is trying to suggest you copy the actions to feel the same as the other person. If you truly admire someone that is different, that will come across in all your subconscious body language. That doesn't mean the person you admire, admires you but they will pick up ( from the cues, you like them). Just imagine all the famous actors that have admiring fans; it doesn't mean it goes both ways quite often. And if you look at the title, it gives you another clue that tells you about the aim. Not subconscious but a conscious effort to build rapport.
When people copy me, I feel annoyed and intruded upon. I stay away from people like that.I'd rather you be yourself, as long as your are being respectful and courteous (etiquette/manners/polite, etc.)
There is one problem with this though, if you always mirror someone, and never take initiative yourself, all your interaction will easly be 100% on the other person. Or if you keep mirroring someone and they don't reciprocate it, you'll be in similar trouble. I would love to discuss this, any thoughts?
Yes that is true, but one can cultivate the habit of naturally mirroring people. Or in some cases, to not block your natural impulse to mirror someone you're interested in.
If you follow Robbins in detail he says that when you establish rapport you could THEN lead the conversation and LEAD them and in effect they start MIRRORING YOU
I agree with you Shankhadip. I learned this method from a book Tony Robbins wrote back when I was in my late 20s. He had a section in that book entitled "The Magic of INSTANT Rapport (emphasis on Instant).. This taught me how to build rapport wirh people I've never met before. If you use it the way Tony Robbins describes, you can build commonality within 15, 30 60 or 160 seconds (depends on the person you're meeting)... then you move on with guiding the conversation now that you have a new friend to talk with. There's no need to find any downfall in this method - it's quite simple to implement. I am now 62 years old and have been teaching this simple method in all my sales training classes for over 30 years. It's easy to teach and it's easy to do, and it really, really helps kickstart your sales presentation or negotiation meeting.
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@@franrosario2111 What was the title of that book?
Anyone know the title of this dvd series or have a link to the longer version (preferably full version) of this speech by Tony? I can't find it. Thanks! in advance.
This is unleash the power within. It's a 4 days experience, 12 hrs per day of content in every aspect of your life. He created the coaching industry. I just finished life mastery. Amazing!
you could use the same key words, have similar texting habits, etc. follow the same pace as the other person and be on their level - do they like to write long messages or short ones? Do they use lots of emojis, some, or none at all?
I think rapport is a fundamentally toxic rhetoric to spew since st its core is ease of communication and well there are some disorder that suffer way too many shortcomings in that domain to ever be able to achieve rapport!!!
Ironically, this guy makes me want to avoid people like him. Everything from his voice and manner irritates me & the worst part is that it is fine to mirror someone naturally, but doing it to gain something from someone else is a low damaging act towards the integrity of humanity. People who use these techniques to sell or get something out of others are not genuine people and they probably don’t even realise it.
I'm a full-time Ericksonian hypnotherapist, NLP trainer, and consultant to multi-billion dollar corporations. I specialize in teaching advanced communication skills, like negotiation and persuasion. Of course, what Tony is saying here is spot-on: The one thing that I would add is that the biggest mistake people make when thinking about 'matching and mirroring' is that they conceptualize it as merely a gimmick, or a 'technique'. It's not. What matching and mirroring really is, is a way to use all your communication channels (words, voice qualities, and body language) to convey an unconscious message. That message is, "You are not alone in your experience. I'm like you, and I'm on your side." THAT message is what is critical. How you convey that message is both a matter of art and authenticity in communication.
Most underrated comment. Thanks for sharing! 💯
Mirroring is the same principle why dancing with a partner builds intimacy in public or in private.
+Jul ofDenial
i think this is more about intimacy than mirroring. If the person you were dancing with dressed like you,moved like you i don't think it would work.
Shall we keep repeating what a badass genius Tony is or not necessary any more
no need. lol
"People like people who are like themselves; or who are like how they would like to be."
Love the way Tony uses the 55,38,7 percent data to back up his communication methods here. Keep up the great work!
what u mean by 38 percent
@@user-bz1wh6xe4m 38% of the potential impact on the interpretation of your communication happens int he vocal channel (how you use your voice).
@@PaulPeixoto shame it's a load of nonsense that even the person who did the original research has denounced saying it's been taken completely out of context
@@marcnellis6504 I have to disagree. I've studied Dr Mehrabian's work and if interpreted correctly is applicable to daily communication. It is true that many apply his work incorrectly. I've conducted 100's of workshops that have advanced the participants communication skills immensely.
@@PaulPeixoto how so?
As one in sells, I believe this is a game changer!!!! ALWAYS ABOUT RAPPORT!
Thank you so much for giving us this valuable video!
Physiology
Tonality
Prediactes
Energy
Key words
Hi Mr. Tony Robbins,
I am a curriculum developer from a training and development company based in Singapore. I came across your wonderful video on "How to Build Rapport" and feel that showing the learners this video would be beneficial.
Therefore, can I seek permission to use your video to augment my lecture in a classroom(not more than 25 learners) setting with proper crediting done. :)
Be genuine. Dont lie.
I hope this will help with job interview.
Tony I get this and agree to a point but I have to say I have had someone who starting mirroring me and I have to say I was so annoyed by it as I could see through it. It drove me crazy... it felt like they were mimicking me like a child would do repeating everything I say... So I would suggest to those who wish to use this tool in building rapport... DONT OVERDO IT!!!
You are one of the few smart people here. Fakery to gain advantage is humanities downfall. He’s just read a whole load of self help books & this doesn’t mean he knows what he’s talking about.
@@ultimatetruth7982 mirroring normally happens organically between 2 people when they genuinely connect. It develops over time and happens a lot with people who love each other with partners even great friends. Using it to fake people into a false sense of connection goes against my authenticity and ethics. Its wrong and no one should do this even in business.
Copying/mimicking someone is not really about building a rapport it’s about trying to be similar to that person, it is more about being part of group. The group relies on conformity to unify its members. In human history the best examples are extremes like Nazis who demanded actions, clothes etc
Building rapport.. If someone is angry and you mimic the anger it doesn't necessarily build rapport, especially if the anger is returned to the sender. However most would like positive emotions to be returned or mimicked. Example sometimes flattery can work to gel and gain rapport. A talker needs a compassionate listener. Building rapport is sometimes more about achieving a positive balance.
Very good point 👌
More accurate
Copying/mimicking is building rapport. He cited Wilton Erickson and explained how it's has more so to do w/your unconscious mind, which is more powerful than your conscious mind.
@@PrDannyRomero Not really, Danny. I think when he mentions when you mimic the breathing of someone, he really is trying to suggest you copy the actions to feel the same as the other person. If you truly admire someone that is different, that will come across in all your subconscious body language. That doesn't mean the person you admire, admires you but they will pick up ( from the cues, you like them). Just imagine all the famous actors that have admiring fans; it doesn't mean it goes both ways quite often. And if you look at the title, it gives you another clue that tells you about the aim. Not subconscious but a conscious effort to build rapport.
Super duper video sir 😃👍
#Day3✋: Matching and Mirroring
Matching and mirroring
When people copy me, I feel annoyed and intruded upon. I stay away from people like that.I'd rather you be yourself, as long as your are being respectful and courteous (etiquette/manners/polite, etc.)
You're just autistic
There is one problem with this though, if you always mirror someone, and never take initiative yourself, all your interaction will easly be 100% on the other person. Or if you keep mirroring someone and they don't reciprocate it, you'll be in similar trouble. I would love to discuss this, any thoughts?
+Fiskepudding127 Yes. Inauthentic and manipulation are two key words that come to mind.
Yes that is true, but one can cultivate the habit of naturally mirroring people. Or in some cases, to not block your natural impulse to mirror someone you're interested in.
If you follow Robbins in detail he says that when you establish rapport you could THEN lead the conversation and LEAD them and in effect they start MIRRORING YOU
I agree with you Shankhadip. I learned this method from a book Tony Robbins wrote back when I was in my late 20s. He had a section in that book entitled "The Magic of INSTANT Rapport (emphasis on Instant).. This taught me how to build rapport wirh people I've never met before. If you use it the way Tony Robbins describes, you can build commonality within 15, 30 60 or 160 seconds (depends on the person you're meeting)... then you move on with guiding the conversation now that you have a new friend to talk with.
There's no need to find any downfall in this method - it's quite simple to implement. I am now 62 years old and have been teaching this simple method in all my sales training classes for over 30 years. It's easy to teach and it's easy to do, and it really, really helps kickstart your sales presentation or negotiation meeting.
@@franrosario2111 What was the title of that book?
Can anyone tell me please, which full video/seminar this is an exert from. i am wondering which special this is from.
Anyone know the title of this dvd series or have a link to the longer version (preferably full version) of this speech by Tony? I can't find it. Thanks! in advance.
This is unleash the power within. It's a 4 days experience, 12 hrs per day of content in every aspect of your life. He created the coaching industry. I just finished life mastery. Amazing!
@@kimberlyurgilez365He did not create the coaching industry. 🤷♀️
How would one build rapport Via texts though?
sexting
you could use the same key words, have similar texting habits, etc. follow the same pace as the other person and be on their level - do they like to write long messages or short ones? Do they use lots of emojis, some, or none at all?
Funny how the camera keeps focusing on the intent pouty look of the women 'watching' Tony.
I think rapport is a fundamentally toxic rhetoric to spew since st its core is ease of communication and well there are some disorder that suffer way too many shortcomings in that domain to ever be able to achieve rapport!!!
Isn’t this manipulative? You’re be conscious and mindful of the wrong things during social interaction. You can see right thru this act from people.
Shadowing in the extreme is frightening and annoying.
hmmm...
Are like or want to be
Tony has some amount of women followers
Ironically, this guy makes me want to avoid people like him. Everything from his voice and manner irritates me & the worst part is that it is fine to mirror someone naturally, but doing it to gain something from someone else is a low damaging act towards the integrity of humanity. People who use these techniques to sell or get something out of others are not genuine people and they probably don’t even realise it.
He is teaching techniques to build better rapport and relationships, where you choose to apply it and in what aspect of your life is up to you?
Weak minded