Dating and marriage in Japan. Stay away from the scooters!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 พ.ค. 2024
- Some women that should be avoided if you want a peaceful and successful marriage here.
Time to plant the cafe spring garden out so i thought i would take you along.
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#japanese #kominka #akiya #emptyhouse #ruraljapan #inaka #japanesecountryside #abandonedhouses #farminginjapan #cafejapan.
Early next year i plan to expand my rural Japan cafe to include rescuing stray cats in my area to turn it into a unique Cat Cafe. Any help is very much appreciated.
www.buymeacoffee.com/realrura...
Early next year i plan to expand my rural Japan cafe to include rescuing stray cats in my area to turn it into a unique Cat Cafe. Any help is very much appreciated.
www.buymeacoffee.com/realruraljapan
As a natural red headed woman - yes, you have to be up for a certain kind of adventure. Somewhere among my belongings, I have a clip from a Newsweek magazine. There is a picture of a man standing on his front lawn, in front of the rubble of what was once his home, following a tornado. His comment to the reporter was: "I was married to a redhead for 8 years. I can survive anything." That just about sums it up.:-).
My god that is hilarious!
I'm really enjoying your vlogs. What you share verbally is good information and the visuals are a good balance and not overly distracting.
Cheers
As a ginger I can confirm that we are drama.
haha!
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 if you 60 and married whats even the point of getting divorced
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836why they have divorced?
I am enjoying your stories, thank you!
Cheers
Can you give us the other perspective--dating/marriage with a Japanese man? I know it is the wrong side of fence but I am sure the female viewers would appreciate it. Thank you!
The next foreign lady i see with a Japanese ill beg her for an interview for you.
@@RealRuralJapan you are seriously the best, love your raw and real insights as someone who is authentically immersed in Japan.
I remember on the news a few years ago covered gyaru from the late 90s - early 2000s, that became mothers while still embrace gyaru culture after their youth. It was crazy! lol
I was working as nightclub security at the time those high heel high platform shoes were all the rage with young women… Watching them try to navigate stairs after they’d had a few too many vodka cruisers was like watching that opening scene in ‘Cliffhanger’ 😳
Lot of women with pins in their ankles from them i heard.
@@RealRuralJapan
I’d believe it… I never actually saw anyone take a tumble, but there were a few close calls and a couple of the lads that had been on the team longer than me had seen a few bad ones.
I think most people understand that dyed hair is generally a red flag, imagine walking around with a wife wit dyed hair lol
I made the mistake of getting serious with a scooter, four years I'll never get back. The folly of youth!
Aussie slang is fun. We don't have that use of scooter in the USA.
Love your common sense attitude, your soothing voice, your humor, your sharing of Japanese culture.
Cheers
In America, we have a similar slang for those kind of women: mopeds (as in the vehicle). Mopeds are cheap and fun to ride, just don’t let your friends know you’re riding one!
The story about the exchange student was fun. Very wishful thinking making a young man sign a contract to not do all of the things that young men will do anyway. I'd not heard of the 'scooter' term before. To balance your observations, I've known some lovely women with dyed hair and some not so lovely ones without hair dye.
That is why i always say NOT ALL and point out generalizations because i and everyone knows there are exceptions.
I think the term used to denote this colorful Japanese fashion is, "decora."
I've watched friends and family date girls with dyed hair. Never ended well before. One of my best friends is currently dating one, and I want to believe that it's going to end well but every time I see her a little alarm bell rings in my head and my first instinct is to make sure we're not alone in the room.
These tips are applicable universally. The mother-in-law one is tough sometimes because you may not realize how much power the MIL has until it's too late.
Just ask your girlfriend what her mother thinks about something you discussed that you thought were between you and her only. Get an answer? There is your first clue to be more observant of the relationship between the two. It's not rocket science these things.
@@RealRuralJapan Great advice mate, but in my case my ex and I were initially a team but after I faced some career challenges, she started leaning on the mother in law (and father in law) more and they all decided that life would better without me… after twenty years of marriage they asked me to sign legal documents so that I would not take property in the event of a divorce. I’d never been unfaithful and it hit like a ton of bricks. But I signed the document and left her. Sorry for oversharing! And thanks for your channel, it’s been delightful to watch and I look forward to more! Cheers
@@moto_ronto They all didn't respect you this you should have seen coming but you live and learn. Better to be divorced than married to someone who doesn't respect you. If the house is so important to some women they don't remarry again or find someone else because they won't want to lose it. They will be forever single usually and that is the price these people pay for having people sign an unfair agreement.
@@RealRuralJapan You are totally right about that. There were signs of a lack of respect early on. If I had just respected myself enough, I could have avoided a lot of pain. Thanks for your insights!
There was somewhere a post that i read, that was like:"In Nature animals develop bright colors to warn others about their poisonus nature."
I am not saying that this is also my opinion, just bringing it up here because i suppose its the same topic.
(And he sayed more or less the same with just red. But i wrote that befor i came to that part, woops.)
The term you're looking for is called Aposematism; animals display bright colours to warn predators of their toxicity (think Brazilian tree frog).
Men in the West will say it's the same with women (and of course certain types of males); if they have an unnatural hair colour, it's because they're toxic to be around.
What area of Japan is it that we keep seeing in your clips?
Wakaho Hoshina Nagano
Sound advice. I wish someone had told it all to me the day I turned 18. Seems I had a special weakness for the scooter-type, before life taught me better. Fun while it lasted.
Let's be honest here - you wouldn't listen back then :D
Hey Steve whereabouts in Sydney are you from? I grew up in Sevo ( Seven Hills) 😇
Mt Druitt aka the ghetto!
@@RealRuralJapan i had friends in Whalen. You can get a tshirt that says “ I climbed Mt Druitt and survived!” 😜
I've had a few Japanese girls and the mother in control type is the worst. I dated a girl called Miyu who was half Korean half Japanese and her mum was literally advising her what to do every single day while she was in Australia, I felt like she didn't have a mind of her own. She was a nice girl but ultimately I wanted an individual with their own thoughts and opinions over a robot who obeys everything her mum says. Shame too because she was really pretty!
I was once with a girl who was an exchange student and had video chat on her laptop to her parents back home on 24/7.
That never ended up going anywhere but I shudder to think of the headaches if it did.
I thought ギャル were extinct. They still exist in Japan?
It is a mentality the way i see it.
They still exist... but they're a dying breed unfortunately
Cyber Japan dancers were a moderate hit, few years back. Leaned heavily on the look.
Haha red scooter
Practical life advice delivered in Bogan.
it is true, many asian marriages are controlled by parents. domo arigatou gozaimasu
More so than in the west i think.
@@RealRuralJapan definietely
@@RealRuralJapan yes, parents raise their children in that manner from the beginning then they can control them in future
I feel like this is a bit of a generalization. I could be completely wrong here, because you definitely know more about Japanese culture than I do, but not all western women who dress this way, act in the manner you describe. I have plenty of friends who have colored hair and dress eccentric, but have a normal day job(where they do dress normal) and are perfectly mature. It could just be that is not common in Japan though. Still loving the content and conversation though. Also a disclaimer, I am married to a redhead so its possible that my views are skewed.
I have worked with many especially in kitchens and some are complete gems of women i would marry no issue at all but most are dangerous in terms of long-term marriage of course IMO.
I agree. My friend at work is different than off time.
@@RealRuralJapanwhy îs dangerous?
I am Diana from Romania Europe
Luckily I don't have to deal with this - my partner with me in Japan is also a foreigner.
I am a American but culturally chinese. My partner is chinese.
Enough about me.
One thing I wonder is you say a lot of things about how japanese women are risk adverse (this is asians in general from my experience) and japanese girls mostly want stability (wet lettuce salarymen)
Did you just strike lucky with your current partner? Could I understand they probably are not "typically japanese" (stability minded)? Or were they born into the rural lifestyle and never went the move to tokyo get a job and possibly marry a salaryman thing?
My current partner being raised chinese shows reservations about moving out to the countryside and seize your own destiny (sees it as too risky, which it is even if you are smart about it, i'll admit a salary paycheck is kind of nice).
But sometimes you just gotta chase dreams within what's possible.
I don't mind being alone and don't have strong preferences either way but, how do you find a Japanese partner willing to do what you have done?
I'm sure there are plenty of western women who would be even more adventurous and dream bigger than I am.
Foreigners sometimes express the same sentiments but when they come to Japan they also often stay in Tokyo, Kyoto and Osaka. It is like going fishing in the Sahara desert wondering why you are just catching lizards. Plenty of cool and attractive women don't live in the cities and i see them all the time in my cafe.
what kind of trouble exactly did he get into
He almost got kicked out of his house as well as just the usual immature crazy girlfriend stuff.
Scooter=damaged goods, 304 CC rider....Catch and release.
Thank you for the advice. I heard that Japanese women are loyal in relationships. Is this true?
Some are some aren't like anywhere really.
There is quite high rates of infidelity. Maybe it's better in the countryside, I would imagine it's a lot better if you actually treat your partner with care (not to say Japanese dont but a lot of couples are stuck in the coorporate hellhole of work sleep work and dont have time/energy to actually care for their psrtners).
My personal experience with younger (as in early 20s) people is that people value loyalty but it certainly depends on the type of person.
Am I the first comment?
Yep
@@RealRuralJapan Woohoo! Thanks for the video. I really enjoyed it, and the anecdotes are fun. You keep things very real and I always appreciate that about your videos.
You really caught me on that title. I thought it was some type of stereotype for impoverished westerners driving cheap scooters...LOL! Still, I could use a girl that has lots of cosplay outfits and knows how to act in them...would be fun for a little bit. I guess the moral of that story would be just don't expect quality outcomes....
I’d recommend westerners to marry a smart Japanese partner .
That partner will be the one helping out a lot. Unless someone speaks and writes Japanese very well, then do whatever 😂
I think dyeing hair is considered pretty normal in general, but neon hair colors are the red flag for me.
In Europe many women have dyed hair and they are not dangerous 😂
Depend of culture my dear men.
Somewhat judgmental, unecessarily so
When you decide to marry one person as opposed to another you could potentially marry you are making a judgement. Whether you accept this or not means little to this obvious fact.
@@RealRuralJapan Off course you are making a judgement but someone having different color hair does not necessarily fit with your perceived wisdom
@@charliecroker2541 i don't believe there's anything inherently worse about having dyed hair
@@charliecroker2541 "does not necessarily" - If I see a seagull's nest over my car, I'm going to not think: "Not all seagull crap is going to fall on my car" but that "Seagull crap is going to fall all over my car!" And you know how corrosive seagull crap is to car's paintwork right? It's nothing to do with seagulls in general and everything to do with finding a better result for myself/car! In fact, I adore seagulls: Magnificent birds of the seas and oceans...
Let's spin another one: If I see a girl with tattoos, I don't think to myself, "brilliant she's clearly traditional and possibly even follows a given religion and avoids partying excessively!" So why don't I think that? Which girls go for tattoos or wacky dyed hair? It's the ones that ironically, generally those that want to look rebellious or else edgy/street within a particular peer group, while looking like all the other girls who do the same thing to stand out... So yet another uniform by which people self-advertise, no different from the salaryman uniform in essence.
Let's take "Gyaru" sub-culture: "is a Japanese subculture and fashion style characterized by an over-the-top westernized feminine look and “frivolous” behavior like partying at clubs." wiki reference. Imho it's more apt to say, it was a spin-off of when hyper-beach-bunny-barbie-doll-look was all the rage eg fake suntan orange glow skin plus plastered make-up and lavish long-nails, peroxide or dyed hair, bling jewelry and a "party like it's Ibiza '80-90s acid house trance!" culture... And somehow that became a sub-culture rebellious look in Japan.
If you talk to such girls: They self-report, they have abundance of energy and a desire to self-express strongly and bring high energy to everything in life etc. Sounds a lot like life is one big party for these lively gals and it sounds like heaps of fun...
Because people go in for "uniforms" so often everywhere around the world, it is easy to know your bearings in most cases from appearances. Women in some places like Dubai know all the top watch brands if they're hunting for a rich man for an example of the same thing but from a different perspective altogether. Some of those watches are of course fakes!
@@commentarytalk1446what does self-report mean in your context? By the way there are dogs that can do actual arithmetic. I always use this as an example that exceptions don’t necessarily invalidate the general guidelines.