Why I went to search for my birth parents in China | Commentary

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ม.ค. 2025

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  • @PatrickRupnarain
    @PatrickRupnarain หลายเดือนก่อน +38

    Charlotte, look on the bright side. You have two families that loves you very much. You've hit the jackpot in life. Don't be a victim, raise your head and show the world that you had a purpose, just taken a detour in life to achieve it. And never forget the hand that fed you.

    • @AA-kj4ic
      @AA-kj4ic หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      her birth family never loved her, they abandoned her instead choose to have another boy purely because they wanted to save the birth quota to have a boy. They never valued baby's life, don't have empathy for them. She deserves better, and cruel parents don't deserve to be rewarded.

  • @oileengrace8228
    @oileengrace8228 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    I used to travel between Guangzhou and HK nearly every week and I saw many Americans carrying their Chinese babies to the planes . It was sad as I knew these were unwanted babies, yet happy as all the American parents I saw were elated with their baby. Take care and know how blessed you are. Do good for the world, make the most of your life

  • @MrLaueebee
    @MrLaueebee หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Bless you and your biological parents and your adopted parents.👍👍👍👍👍👍

  • @JasJus.88
    @JasJus.88 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    She has a big heart to forgive her birth parents.

    • @csking6377
      @csking6377 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      If you looked at the situation from the biological parents perspective, giving up their child for adoption was the best act of love they could do under the circumstances then. This is especially apparent, when they left a note and milk powder with the child. Most of them could hardly even afford milk powder then.
      For every child given away, there was probably another one or 2 baby that never made it.
      What is there to forgive? The adoptees have everything to be thankful for.

    • @philipphan261
      @philipphan261 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes, a big heart and maturity to understand and accept the circumstance of her life trajectory.

    • @Anna-PortlyCat
      @Anna-PortlyCat หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@csking6377 Except for the much higher rates of attempted suicide, completed suicide, addiction, mental health problems, incarceration etc. And trauma, loss and grief. It's all sunshine and rainbows lol.

    • @csking6377
      @csking6377 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Anna-PortlyCat Among professions, the medical profession has one of the highest rates of suicide. If people want to kill themselves, they can have any number of reasons to.
      And bet you that the the rate of suicides for these adoptees are not higher than the same generation of Koreans living in S. Korea now.

    • @ju-liekesnijders9745
      @ju-liekesnijders9745 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Shows you're not adopted

  • @dreamsteddybearsmaster
    @dreamsteddybearsmaster หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Charlotte you're a total Queen! Although it seems like her biological parents loved her, never forgot about her and were reluctant to give her up it worked out best for everyone! You can see they're crying when she's first approaching them in person.
    Her Mums also did a brilliant job of raising her and her sister with love.
    This also reminde me of another adoptees story in America the BBC released quite a few years ago where the girl has a biological elder sister and her biological parents always hoped they would meet her again eg gave her a Chinese name and all and I think waited for years on a Broken Bridge in Hangzhou

  • @alexisl9426
    @alexisl9426 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    She’s very lucky. Not everyone receives a happy reunion with their birth parents. Some birth parents don’t want anything to do with them

  • @BrandyHeng007
    @BrandyHeng007 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    A happy ending is the most important outcome though emotional scar never heal fully.
    Your happiness begins with your heart.
    Thanks for sharing 👍

  • @silversurfer8237
    @silversurfer8237 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    The most important thing is your adoptive parents have been decent parents and have treated you fairly. Biological parents do not guarantee happiness or understanding.

  • @judybay2372
    @judybay2372 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Be grateful n treat ur adopted family with love

  • @torbjrnmelbye6823
    @torbjrnmelbye6823 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Great story. So happy to see you went back. Embrace your chinese family. Good luck. Take your time❤

  • @MsLilac88
    @MsLilac88 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    The Chinese culture favours boys over girls. It is so heartbreaking but this is the harsh reality in China. 😢

    • @linusmayden8465
      @linusmayden8465 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It was only like that because of the one child policy and boys could financially carry the family better than girls.

    • @rebeccashelton3552
      @rebeccashelton3552 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      It's only partly true that Chinese culture prefers boys more. But this is not just in China. In any society that depends on manual labor to survive, boys are preferred. Besides in China, when a girl marries, she would go away and no longer a help to her parents' family. This is especially in rural areas, much less in urban areas.

    • @vpw65
      @vpw65 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Next door India worse and till this day whereas China has improved drastically.

    • @wsmithe2209
      @wsmithe2209 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Not always true. No need to repeat the same. There are many reasons beside boys over girls.

    • @badmashdogesh3939
      @badmashdogesh3939 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@vpw65 China is lot worse than India when comes to gender discrimination. We don't had one child policy becuase we care about all. Chinese only cared about men. Preference of boys over girls still exist in china while in India its rare to find such case nowadays

  • @thetreekeeper143
    @thetreekeeper143 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    My mother was given up for adoption and till this day, my mother holds alot of resentment against her biological parents.

  • @JohnMiao-v2q
    @JohnMiao-v2q หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    May God bless you, you are so nice to forgive your biological parents. Tough.

  • @ajdlsvkelffk
    @ajdlsvkelffk หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    In the past, perhaps in China, boys were given more priority, reminds me of a Mandarin film, where boys were given more priority, in the film, it tells the story of a family with 2 children, 1 boy and 1 girl experiencing an earthquake, both children were trapped in the rubble, rescue workers asked the parents, which child to save, the parents chose the boy. more or less like that

  • @barrymaramis
    @barrymaramis หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Missing part is her search, how, when and what situation when she and her biological parents found out, why her parents decided to abandon her, the initial contacts until the trip she made to meet them. the story is thus, not satisfying.

  • @RickyVang-ql9zz
    @RickyVang-ql9zz หลายเดือนก่อน

    beautiful stories and so sad i am crying 😢just listening to you

  • @Truthseeker371
    @Truthseeker371 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I always wonder why nobody really delves into the root cause of the need for overseas child adoption. Invasions, wars, political and economical hardship, and difficult personal situations may be the reasons. We must to focus now to prevent the child adoption as well as human trafficking.

  • @samuelftw
    @samuelftw หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I read the article but it doesn't answer why she has 3 siblings when rural families were allowed 2 children if the first is a girl. The brother was born last so how did the parents get away with that? Did they not officially register his birth, as is sometimes the case?

    • @WhoInvitedThatGirlAgain
      @WhoInvitedThatGirlAgain หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Enforcement and restrictions for the one-child policy varied from province to province and even town to town. The article hinted at some of the restrictions and consequences that her biological parents might have faced when they had, and decided to keep, their son. When parents have more than the allowed number of children, they might be faced with fines or the child(ren) might be denied social services such as schooling and healthcare. At the time, most rural Chinese lived in poverty and couldn’t bear the additional economic burden. It wasn’t a matter of “getting away with that”, there probably were consequences, but in a patrilocal marriage society, they might have been thinking about their family’s long-term future.

    • @wsmithe2209
      @wsmithe2209 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Money was the reason in most cases. In some cases, some parents preferred boy over girl. It's easier for biological parents to say they wanted boy over girl instead of money. Yes, one child policy was enforced in big cities but not quite in some small poor villages far away from big cities.

  • @henrysehgal658
    @henrysehgal658 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Good one. I related this story to my children, who say that they saw it on "The Simpsons".

  • @ArabicReja973
    @ArabicReja973 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Chinese 🇨🇳 culture favors boys than girls and men than women.
    - With the previous One-Child policy, many families abandoned their newly born if they discovered it was a girl.
    This culture still exists in China today.

    • @DDDrumpf
      @DDDrumpf หลายเดือนก่อน

      You are outdated!! Girls are even more "precious" than boys in Chinese families nowadays...

    • @linusmayden8465
      @linusmayden8465 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Limits on children no longer exist, so no, it doesn't happen anymore.

    • @DDDrumpf
      @DDDrumpf หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@ArabicReja973 well, girls are now more precious in Chinese families nowadays, old kidd!!

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @李珊-f2r the law may not exist BUT the CULTURE of not wanting girls DOES still exist in that country.

    • @nt4409
      @nt4409 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @alcyk28-t8z not the culture but the policy? so why did they abandon them when they happened to be female? did the policy say you can only have a son?

  • @phillipng252
    @phillipng252 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    In Singapore ,the Laws said there can be No adoption if you are single.We lived in a Police State.Can not feed the bird $10,000 per fine,cruel,lip service ,so nothing is real here .

  • @ShannonDerie
    @ShannonDerie หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for sharing your story.Did you also have Sister growing up?

  • @Ccb88888
    @Ccb88888 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Shame on the parents for giving up their child. Every child is a blessing, and has a right to grow up with its parents in its own culture....

    • @envitech02
      @envitech02 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Circumstances were different back then. With the one child policy, many babies had to be given up. The parents are not allowed to keep or register the baby. Most of them girls.

  • @paulstubbs3780
    @paulstubbs3780 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Never forget your a lovely woman

  • @jacku8304
    @jacku8304 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    There are also many Korean babies adopted by the Americans after the Korean war.

  • @AA-kj4ic
    @AA-kj4ic หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I would not have good feelings about birth parents, they throw away the girl and kept the boy, to see their fake cry now is useless.

  • @Cool12_782
    @Cool12_782 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank God for letting go of the past

  • @lisacondry9233
    @lisacondry9233 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

    If it was me, I would consider my adopted parents as my birth parents. They raised me not my birth parents.

  • @KhawmTiti
    @KhawmTiti หลายเดือนก่อน

    So sorry this happened to you

  • @Angelhelo227
    @Angelhelo227 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is how 30 million guys can't get a wife in China, they have to go to other countries to find a wife poor families and so many vlogs show how hard their sons to go outside China and please the girl and her family by giving them gifts and money to marry him because of all selfish parents keep their sons but not their daughters to carry the family name, a bit too late to realize without a female can not carry the last name 😅, payback time to see their sons have to pay a hefty dowry to get a wife. 😢

  • @ElethuDuna
    @ElethuDuna 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This brushes on the surface. I wish it had gotten into a lot more details.

  • @liufeng2095
    @liufeng2095 หลายเดือนก่อน

    After Findling out her birth parénts, it is Nothing special, she was Not kidnapped, dont forgive your parents so easily, it was only curios to know the Story behind

  • @Barrylee544
    @Barrylee544 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Perhaps you should be grateful that your biological parents abandoned you; without their abandonment, you wouldn’t have the better life you now enjoy in the United States.

    • @Ccb88888
      @Ccb88888 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      What utter nonsense. Every child has the right to grow up with its parents in its own culture. Besides, isn't China meant to be the country of the future, whereas the US has its best days behind it?

    • @nt4409
      @nt4409 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@Ccb88888 and she's already have that right stripped by her birth parents.

    • @stephenhan9680
      @stephenhan9680 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I mean she got lucky obviously. It could have gone either way, she could have ended up in some abusive parents or got smuggled into human trafficking ring 🤷‍♂️

    • @tl1533
      @tl1533 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Ccb88888 FOS. What an idiotic comparison! Your statement just shows that how cruel the authoritarian government is to control these people's lives & the government's policy affects their lives & the whole generation!

  • @christineliu9835
    @christineliu9835 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Where are the parents in China?

    • @lsemeritus3785
      @lsemeritus3785 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      She is born in Huaian, Jiangsu province in 1994

    • @christineliu9835
      @christineliu9835 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @lsemeritus3785 really sad

  • @Trueye-sl2mr
    @Trueye-sl2mr หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    It was desperate times with extreme poverty, starvation, civil wars, foreign opium, etc. There children were not abandoned but given up in the hope of a better life and survival for the child. Chinese love children. China has come out of those dark times with good CCP governance.

  • @m.anttonen2874
    @m.anttonen2874 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hos did you find your parents? My sister also have an adopted dougther. ( born -92) from China

  • @FrederikEngelmand
    @FrederikEngelmand หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    DAMN imagine being refered to as an american couple by your daughter

    • @BabethDi-m9n
      @BabethDi-m9n หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Ungrateful

  • @johndow1957
    @johndow1957 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wow you are very beautiful and very lucky person ❤❤❤from me in united state you be to united state lucky person in the world anyway good by Thacker your family your adobe's mother good by

  • @seantan4702
    @seantan4702 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Well, she seems mixed emotions at the end…

  • @aryang4488
    @aryang4488 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Ok...

  • @Naksu..
    @Naksu.. หลายเดือนก่อน

    Can you speak chinese??

    • @lsemeritus3785
      @lsemeritus3785 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      She can speak Chinese well, her Chinese name is 周江雯

  • @SoBiased
    @SoBiased หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    India must do the same 😂😂

  • @SoBiased
    @SoBiased หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The same story with Kamala 😂😂

    • @jacku8304
      @jacku8304 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Kamala is more black than Indian because her father was black while her mother Indian. The good things she had more of her father's gene which has lighter skin tone than her darker Indian mother. Go look at their family photo for proof.

  • @KhechokTenzin
    @KhechokTenzin 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Ur govt sucks

  • @Anna-PortlyCat
    @Anna-PortlyCat หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thankfully China has ceased intercountry adoptions at this time, except for a few exceptions. It has been plain gross the way Americans have gained from other countries poverty and sociall problems.
    Thankfully the Hague Convention and other adoptee advocates are helping to educate the world about the need for children to stay with their own family or next of kin where possible, or in their own country where possible. Intercoubtry adoption should be a last resort. The focus should be on building community and family resources to help children stay with their own families.
    The commodofication of children has spiralled out of control. Americans can just advertise an intercountry adoptee online to give them away when the adoption breaks down. Imagine the trauma on trauma caused when an incompetent adoptive couple relinquish an adopted child.
    Americans have a lot to answer for with their negative role with intercountry adoptions. The amount of ignorant adoptive parents and others in the community who think adoptees shd all just be grateful is ridiculous and completely ignorant of the trauma, grief and loss that an adoptee experiences for a lifetime.
    If yr barren, maybe you need to accept that. Rather than appropriating someone else child.
    Imter country adoptees, especially in America have become a gross fashion accessory for some adoptive parents.
    The recent PBS doco abt the widespread corruption with South Korean adoptions is highlighting the sorts of illegal and illicit adoption practices that have effected just about every sending country over the decades of intercountry adoption.
    China, Taiwan, Sourh Korea, Vietnam, Chile, Colombia, India, the list goes on and on, have had proven cases of iliicit and illegal adoptions. Countries like Taiwan have had people serving prison time for completely illegal intercountry adoption practices.
    Holt is one of the MOST disgusting and corrupt adoption agencies in existence.. There will eventually be a class action lawsuit against Holt for on behalf of adoptees stolen from their birth patents to feed the dodgy adoption machine that is Holt.