I actually act as a stand in parent for multiple girls I know because I care about them more than their actual parents do. More countries need tighter laws on what is and isn't acceptable for parents to do. Too many parents get away with negligence and abuse.
I have major "Mom Vibes".apparently, I end up a motherly figure for a lot of people. Have had a couple actually call me "adoptive mother" after I pointed out that I was old enough to be their mom. ^.^;; All I did was say things like "I care about you being happy" and "You can talk to me about what you're going through any time"...
My dad basically said “ I’m not homophobic but, pride is wrong . Only boys and girls exist. Gay marriage should be illegal.” When we were making cookies that had nothing to do with this. Wow, thanks dad.
"What do YOU lose by having gay marriage be legal? What do YOU lose by people of a complex gender spectrum being acknowledged? The answer is nothing. So can your hate before I call your parents to tell them how much of a bigot you turned out to be."
When the crazy is so strong you can smell it through the damn screen... Some of these people are so insane and dysfunctional that even the Joker thinks they need professional help.
I imagine divorcing someone because of suspicious beans is a reward to their spouse because she sounds.... unpleasant. re Andy's mom: a name is a gift you give your kid. Once its theirs, they can do whatever they choose with it. They can change it to suit their tastes or get rid of it completely.
What really gets me is that the person she should be talking about this with, even as insane as she is, is Andy. Like, he's the one in a position to tell people what to call him and enforce it. It says a lot about how she sees her kid.
I completely agree, my daughter Sunny (8) has decided she likes the name Summer better.... okay kid you got it lol. She also has seen me refuse to go by my government name her whole life too so, it'd be pretty shitty for me not to grant her the same respect
Yea, kids should be allowed to do whatever with their name. It’s their choice. It doesn’t matter if the kid is cis or trans or whatever. You gave that name to them, and now they have the power over it
I was there when my dad graduated, too. That was when I was 10. He dropped out when I was born so he could take care of me and I love him. I'm in high school now and we get coffee every Wednesday before I go to school
@@opalescantmoon82 That's fantastic. I'm so glad to hear that you and him have that kind of relationship. If ever I'm a dad, I want to be the kind who treats his kid well enough for them to want to do stuff like that with me.
I’m a trans women and nothing would make me happier that having kids of my own some day, meanwhile these parents have kids they don’t want and treat them like crap
Cis woman here. I would honestly love to donate my uterus to a trans woman who wants children, because I never want to be pregnant ever. Could take the ovaries too but they're riddled with cysts.
The mom with the shampoo, my siblings and I would've taken all the shampoo and given it to our classmates and stopped washing our own hair out of sheer spite. We honestly would have given away every single bottle and if she argued, it was bought with our gift cards therefore we could do whatever we wanted with it.
I live in one of the most conservative countries, India, where the LGBTQ community is more or less openly discriminated against. I was soooo scared about it but I came out as a transwoman about 2 months and I truly feel lucky to have parents who understood how I felt and are supporting me through it.
So grateful my mom is not nuts. And she forever stands up for me, from supporting that I’m Aroace to reminding me that I have rights as a disabled person because for me it’s easy to forget that.
My grandma was sayin some homophobic and transphobic things and AFTER, she said, and I quote, "and i'm not homophobic or anything but it's all true." And I did a BOMBASTIC side-eye
"Grandma, I say this with as much love as I possibly can: if you want to ever see me again, you'd better fix your bigotry or I'll cut this relationship off."
@@hens4saleIf it works out, you get a supportive grandma. If it doesn't, then you cut a source of conflict and strife out of your life. You've got to weigh how much you value a relationship against how much you value your mental health. If you dread visiting that person more than you love them then it's worth the ultimatum.
I told all of my kids, from the time they were little, that I'd always love and accept them, no matter what. All 3 of them have given me the opportunity to prove it! (As kids will do!) And if anybody wonders, my ace, trans enby kid is not the one who gave me the hardest time with this. Blessed day/night to you.🙏❤🏳🌈🏳⚧
If it's "i love you but you shouldn't be with someone who wipes their butt with cheetos" i get it but most of the time that's better than forcing an abuser or unwanted partner onto them
Yeah I say conditional love isn't love, and I mean who should care who their kid dates as long as it's not an abusive relationship? I mean, are YOU the one dating this person? Are YOU going to potentially consider marrying them one day? Why do some people need to be so possessive, like... At the same time I hope the kid moves out asap, I'm also always a bit worried that the parent(s) genuinely need help themselves to realize what gave them such a toxic world view because I don't think that's normally how people naturally behave unless taught to be so intolerant
Facing that right now. I am 27 years old and came out as trans. My parents were insulted that I came out publicly so they couldn't intimidate me into silence like they always have. Then they ghosted me for months, when we finally met up they blamed me for everything. That I've been lying to them all these years, when it was for my own safety. Insulted that I chose my own name and 'rejected' their gift and they flat out refuse to see anything I have to say. I must respect their religion, but they will never respect me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know why I still love them...
@@StudlyFudd13 please accept some mama hugs. 💙💗🤍💗💙 Sounds like your parents have some issues to work through. That's on them. The fact that you can still love them just proves that the Divine spark in you is bright and strong.
Those tiktoks restored me after those horrible parent posts. I started crying roughly around the time the little girl shouted "I love you daddy!" when her dad was graduating.
I started sobbing at the grandparents saying hi to the door camera. I often sort of accept that I don't have family and I have no idea what it would be like to have a relative as an adult, but it really got to me this time.
The fact she calls it a "mummy moment", a phrase I don't think already exists for this behaviour, tells me it's something she does. I hope that child doesn't need too much therapy
This is definitely not a first time. I hope that she bought her kid a new Xbox. Even if the kid was doing something bad then unplugging it or restricting the time spent would've been so much better. I hope she gains restraint otherwise her child may not continue contact if unneeded
A parent referring to a violet, destructive outburst of anger directed at your child and/or their belongings a 'Mommy Moment' really lets you know that person has no business being a mommy! To me, 'Mommy Moment' would be my time alone in the bathroom, because that's the only time I can get away from the kids.
Exactly this. My mommy moments are me locking the bathroom door, leaving the lights off, and sitting in an empty bathtub contemplating my life choices. Then I go back out and be the best mom I can be.
I love how they’re ALWAYS “you wouldn’t get it, you’re not a parent” like I raise you eldest girl cousin of extended immigrant family. If we’re talking experience years I’ve got them lapped like 5 times lol Take it from me, treating kids like human beings is actually way less work in the long run
I was second eldest.. of FOURTY COUSINS. People used to ask if I was the mom of some of them when I was like.. fourteen which is a whole other level of gross lol
@@Romanticoutlaw lol this though, it’s not even all that untrue, when things start burning some those kids are still coming to me long before they even think about going to their parents, so it feels like I’m just never going to escape being the family fix-it button Everyone wonders why I’m in no hurry to settle down and have kids lol
I started babysitting a couple kids in my neighborhood when I was about age 8, my older cousin (about 5 years older than me) who lived with us had a baby just after she turned 18 and I helped raise him for a few years, I babysat again in high school for a neighbor, and then my nephew was born when I was 24 and he has lived with me his whole life (still does; almost age 21). Also, my nephew's sister (older by about 8 years) has a 6 yo and 8 yo who I have been visiting and helping a little to care for for a few years since they moved back to TX. Everyone thought my cousin was mine, even when I was 13 yo. So, just because I don't have children and never want to have any of my own, I have helped care for and raised children for most of my life. Don't they know that their are aunts/uncles, care givers, and teachers who have no children who do actually know how to care for children too? People should never assume a single person without children does not know how to care for or raise them properly.
Abusive/manipulative/toxic parents make my blood boil. Nothing makes me infuriated quicker than an unrepentant abuser, especially of children. Some of these were really relatable too haha, which never helps me feel calmer.
The parent who told their queer child they were being manipulated did the exact thing my parents did to me! I distanced myself from them because I noticed they only made me feel bad about myself, and when I came out and told them about my partner, they blamed them for our distant relationship and told me that I was being manipulated. My mother also threatened to tell my homophobic family about my sexuality. It didn't feel nice (it is still fairly recent), but you, OT, putting into words that the one who holds information over someone else's head is probably the manipulator, just reminded me that their actions are pure gaslighting, and that I'll know who I am, not other people
sexualities shouldn't matter to our parents if we are queer we are queer and if my dad ever threatened to tell other of my family members that i am ase i will just okay my sexuality is not meant to be a weapon for another person and post it to where eeveryone knows that i am ase and my dad isn't okay with it. it really is most of the time that the dad is the homophobic but times like this it is just the whole family being queer is great for me it saved my life
Queerphobic parents are nothing short of human monsters. Don't let them drag you down to their level, and outlive those bastards long enough to spit on their graves once they're gone. To anybody with parents like that, stay strong, show them that they have no power over you.
Saddly sometimes we need to prune the family tree for own our psicological well being. And i hope you get better, and get help and confort of other family members or closed friends. And saddly some parents are so much into their own homophobics believes that don't realise the amount of pain they cause to their children.
Saying someone is being manipulated while literally leveling a large number of financial and social threats at them... That really requires a total lack of self-awareness
To anyone out there with unaccepting parents know that there are people who WILL accept you. It’s also perfectly fine to cut people out of your life once you can do so safely. Some people may judge you for doing so, but you have to take care of yourself.
Seconded. If I had a dollar for every time a person asked me why I don’t talk to my mother, i would be rich. But I don’t let that bother me and I tell those people, if my mom wanted to be a part of my life, she had every opportunity to earn a place. But she hasn’t yet and I’ve come to terms with it as long time ago. I wasn’t the one to cut her out, she did that herself through her words and actions. I simply decided that i deserved to live a happier and more fulfilled life without her than the drama-filled and miserable life I had had with her. She was manipulative, condescending, neglectful, and abusive. No one needs that in their life. Live your life the way you wish to live your life. Also… It’s ok if you still care about and love your parent(s), even if they did not love you in the way you deserve. You can love and/or care about them from a safe distance, though, with either no contact or minimal contact-whatever you handle. It’s also completely ok if you *do not* love and/or care about your parent(s). You are not obligated to care for someone who did nor provide you with the love and care you deserve. As *all* living beings deserve. What’s Important is that you look after yourself and that you love you。
Exactly! And trying to guilt trip someone with the whole "bUt We'Re YoUr FaMiLy AnD bLoOd Is ThIcKeR tHaN wAtEr" is such manipulative and toxic bullshit.. get as far away from that as you can. You owe it to yourself to take care of your mental health and protecting your peace.
And something else to remember, I don’t know if this will help anyone, but if you’re ashamed to have the genes of your parents, remember that once upon a time, billions of years ago, we shared an ancestor. That ancestor was a little cell, trying to survive and adapt to its environment. That little cell lives on in you, and you can make your life better and adapt yourself. You’re a testament to the tenacity of life, and you are GREATER than the sum of your parts. How awful your parents are has no bearing whatsoever on you, you are just that little cell marching into a brighter and better future in spite of the rough environment you were born in. You are okay, and you deserve happiness. And know that out there in the world, there exist perfect strangers who are cheering for you. I don’t know you, I don’t know your name, but I believe in you, and I’m not the only one. You’ve got this! ❤
I'm non binary, and in my teens I had a relationship with a girl whose mother said I could come over to visit as a friend, but not as a partner. ...How we were supposed to split this up, I never understood... People are indeed complicated. 😅 [Edit: I'm the kind of non binary that actually has made strangers come up to me and wonder " What I *am* "]
@@Dino.Nuggetsart I think it's a little funny too, actually. I can't for a minute understand the mindset though - they wouldn't go up to a cis person even to ask for their name, if there's no particular reason. However I can understand that it really must hurt to hear that question in your case, as you actually *are* a guy. When I get the question, I don't really know what to answer, and I kind of light heartedly have said so many things, from non-binary, to human, animal, being, etc.. Don't lose courage because of those stupid questions, is my advice - the most important thing is that You know *WHO* (not "what") you are, and that you can stand up for yourself. It is, when it comes down to it, a really rude question, and I understand that it's easier to deal with for me, being non-binary. 🏳️⚧️ 🏳️🌈
@@Dino.Nuggetsarti would say better ask then misgender but the attitude of the question makes a huge difference. Likw people cant telepathically just know the right pronouns and all, but ine does not have to be a dick about not knowi g and demanding an explanation
You know what made me happy cry? I was at pride and there were females and males wearing "Mom Hugs" and "Dad Hugs" respectively. Those people, they deserve to be parents.
That last video killed me in a good way. Before we moved out our neighbor had a two year old and this little stinker would get outside, run across the connected porch to our apartment, and bang his little hands on our window and yell "CAN I PET YOUR CATS?" It would scare the shit out of us every damn time. And if he didn't somehow want to pet our cats (Rowen and the Other Rowen, as he called them -- Other Rowen was Malcolm, and he sadly passed away this year unexpectedly), he wanted us to watch Thomas the Tank Engine on his tablet with us or bring his mom's cellphone (that he stole to call his grandma who also sadly passed away unexpectedly this year) and have us say hi to his grandma. Sweetest dang kid. He still asks about us and the cats according to his mom (we still talk sometimes). Still can't believe he's in first grade already. He's so dang smart. I miss our conversations when he was little and learning about the world. First time we'll see each other since we moved will be at his grandma's celebration of life next month. It'll be good to see him and his little brother (who won't remember us since he was a baby at the time) again even if my roommate and I will be sad. That video brought on a smile, made me remember some of our old conversations and laughs. Thanks.
The one about being investigated 50 times bugs me so much. The parent is so oblivious in asking "why didn't you say something to the investigators?" Gee, I don't know, maybe they didn't feel safe and worried about what you would do if they did. Or maybe they didn't even realize that what happened was abusive until they went to tell what they thought was a "funny anecdote" to their friends years later only to be met with a look of horror and be told "wow that's fucked up, are you okay?" People usually wouldn't be calling child services to investigate you that many times if nothing was wrong. Maybe it wasn't bad enough for them to step in (or they were just not doing their duty because that's something a lot of CFS investigations have an issue with sadly) or maybe they didn't see enough to have solid proof and your kid lied to keep themself safe, whatever the case, there's still something wrong if you've been looked into that many times and you shouldn't be boasting about it like that
However, there is one other possibility. My mom, and then I, had a problem with one relative who had a savior complex, and Munchousen by proxy, who reported us over and over, even getting my son put in foster care by blaming all her abuse on me. I didn't know it was happening until I was handed paperwork and told whether I signed or not, he was going into foster care. When I broke down crying saying signing him over to the state would be better than her keeping him is when they started properly investigating, and connected her with 3 other cases of child abuse. The investigators filed cases by the kids names, so repeat abusers were slipping through the cracks all the time because some times, the names of the abusers *weren't even recorded!*
Regardless of hight or appearance your wholesome uplifting content will always overshadow any perceived flaws, so I believe it matters not - another comment to help the algorithm :)
THANK YOU for knowing, and explaining, the difference between a "theory" in science vs common parlance!! I am a science educator, and have had so many conversations with so many adults who have never learned this simple, important distinction that is pretty fundamental to understanding how science works. Seeing a popular, non-science TH-camr just casually throw it out there has kind of renewed my faith in humanity a little.
As a trans woman, I can GUARANTEE Andy's mom that he won't be stuck with his highschool nickname forever if he doesn't want to be. 😅😅 I'm not sure she'd find that reassuring.
As a transdude who picked out Andrew and absolutely LOATHES being called Andy, that was really disorienting to listen to, but yeah. He won't be stuck with it. People are usually respectful about that.
@@UturuncuWhat is your opinion on Drew? /jk My mom’s name has two nicknames and _hates_ when people assume she uses either one. So she gave both of her kids names that do not have nicknames. Unfortunately, my name is one of a cluster of names which are all _ever so slightly_ different from one another XD
5:17 This one made me physically cringe because my mom was very bothered by my acne when I was a kid and I just know that this child is gonna grow up with self-image issues.
Yeah it's so bad. And I would bet money on the fact that the acne going away with constant use was just time doing it's thing and had nothing to do with her assault on the babies face.
Baby acne is pretty common and goes away on its own. The moms obsession does reflect some issues though and likely will cause her to put pressure on the kid for other things.
17:17 this mom is absolutely insane. Kids will choose nicknames for themselves all the time. And they may like to be called different things by different people, too. Like this pair of siblings at the after school program I worked at, neither of them liked being called by their full names. One was seven, the other was five. And they were called what they wanted to be called, including by their parents. Because their parents were sane people who respect that children have autonomy.
When I was in middle school, I picked my own (nick)name and was so stubborn about it that eventually, everyone except my parents called me that. They thought it was silly but at least they didn't actively interfere. I feel like some parents need to understand that even young kids have the right to a certain degree of autonomy because even at that age, they have preferences and a distinct personality. They aren't possessions. That mom's power trip makes me worry for Andy's future tbh.
My sister wanted to be Lucky Lucy when she was in kindergarten. Her name is nowhere close to Lucy. My mom told the teacher to go for it, she had it on her mailbox and everything. Kids pick new names, it's no big deal. Either they grow out of it and it's an amusing anecdote, or they don't and you've respected their autonomy and allowed them to express themselves.
What I found funny about that post specifically is that my oldest brother is named Andrew but he hated the name Andy and always insisted everyone call him Andrew lol
I always have this sort of bittersweet feeling whenever I see dads being wholesome and great on the internet. Mine isn't that great, and I had to cut ties with him for my own mental health, so whenever I see or hear about other dads being good parents, it makes me sort of choke up. I'm happy for those who have a responsible and good father figure around, but can't help but feel sad that I can't experience that.
The vid where the girl is so excited for the food made me so happy! Nearly brought me to tears when she danced around and gave her dad a hug, that was super sweet :)
I can relate to wanting your kids to buy their own soap if they're wilfully wasting what you bought for them. Obviously, this is not the right way to go about it. Like OT said, if it's bubble bath that they really want, then make them use their own money to buy bubble bath stuff.
And, like, sit down with them first, explain why it's a problem and what the consequences will be if they continue to be wasteful. Don't just go on a power trip.
@@sarahr8311 I was thinking, "Small bottles, one for each kid, filled with the shampoo. Enough to last them a week. If they use it before the week, then they only get enough for one day, each day, and get told that Big Boys/Girls get to decide on their own when they don't waste." Because telling a kid that being irresponsible [by being wasteful in this case] makes them a baby is going to make them _want_ to change. Because kids want to be seen as grown-up not infantile.
I think depends how old the kid is a kid in highschool will understand money honestly small kids shouldn't have to worry about that. If the kid is wasting it teach them how much to use it just put it in their hand yourself of they are that small. I grew up in poverty and as a child constantly worried about money it's not good for a kid to do that
My big brother has atleast 2 showers a day, and uses whatever shower gel/shampoo/whatever he can get his hands on, he even used my expensive limited edition soap because it required no effort and he didn't even like it. Yet my mother refuses to make him buy it with his own money because its not fair on him, so I both agree and disagree with that crazy soap person lol.
I grew up with chill parents the only thing they were "strict" on was our safety (by strict I don't mean it in a bad way) and when I came out as bi they were completely fine with it, on top of this they ask me questions about the LGBTQ like how to adesss non-binary people (they are 50+ and are trying their very best). Mental health has also been a big problem in my family so depression and anxiety is not taken lightly. I'm very grateful for my parents :)
Man, that sounds awesome. I’ll admit I’m jealous lol, would’ve killed to have parents like that. It’s so sweet that you acknowledge and appreciate them. Good for y’all :)
17:25 my dad actually did a similar thing to this kid when he moved from his hometown. He went by his middle name back in his hometown, but now goes by a shorter version of his first name. This is just a thing kids do and this lady is insane for thinking she can control it.
When one of my kids told me at the age of 3 or 4 he didn't like the nickname that everyone called him, I went around telling everyone to only call him by his actual name. AT THE KID'S REQUEST! (I still think it's an adorable nickname, but that's irrelevant.) Said kid is 18 now, and has been raised to respect what people want to be called. People who try to control their kids like that really test my pacifist nature.
The Andres/Andy meme is too relatable. My mom named me Jessica and INSISTED I was "Jessica" not "Jess" or "Jessie" for most of my entire life. People still called me "Jess" and I didn't care and still respond to it. Joke's on her, I played World of Warcraft for over 10 years and now play FF14 and respond to a variety of names, and currently often called "Ash" by my friends I play FF14 with because that's my character's name.
The name thing was my mom too 💀. She hates the nickname Isabel. So when some neighborhood kids came over ,she made sure to correct them. It’s just another short way of saying my name -_- . If that’s what they want to call me and I’m okay with it, IT DOESNT MATTER 💀💀.
I have a similar story - I was adopted, and found out I had a brother in 2000. Long story short, we tried getting to know each other (for a few reasons, partly due to b-mum’s mental health, but also a-parents/at least a-dad literally sabotaging our sibling relationship, it hit a dead end). His name is Michael but he wanted me to call him Mike - so I did, but a-mum didn’t like it. I just felt kind of annoyed by it.
My best friends know me under a pseudonym cause I foind the first of them online. At times my legal name is the last I would respond to while cat, kitty, serena, sera, luna, bruce and thor where all things I felt talked too
As a parent who is desperately trying not to fuck up, this is the truest shit and honestly I think the parents who remember it do a better job at not fucking up.
My dad's name is Andy. When my grandmother was deciding what to name him, she debated naming him Andrew. As must people shorten Andrew to Andy; she went with Andy. Growing up people insisted on calling him Andrew.
@@rosiefay7283 I actually feel the opposite reaction from this post. Calling someone the full version of someone's name, rather than the familiar version, just because that's the "normal" version of the name seems insensitive and rude. I've had several friends who were given shortened/familiar names at birth, but they still got called the long form of their name, even though it's not actually their name at all. Examples: (female) Sam gets called Samantha, was named Sam. Rich gets called Richard, was named Rich. If someone introduces themselves as something, I wouldn't dare assume they meant something else, and lengthen their name to be formal because maybe that's just not their name. Or maybe it was shortened for a reason (named after a relative but they aren't a nice person so they keep some separation with the nickname)
I know a Nate who often meets people that insist on calling him by his long/formal name - except they usually assume it must be "Nathan" and go with that. His actual name is not Nathan. It annoys him and makes people look really stupid.
There are so many of these cases, where they punish their children for either actions they don't realize are wrong (using an entire bottle of body wash or shampoo for a bubble bath) rather than immediately addressing the issue as well as offer solutions to the problem (maybe gift them bath bombs or specialty products for soaks) so that you both will get around it. Spending all their gift cards (most likely gifts from extended family and friends) on bulk products will just make them more cautious with gifts around you and even reckless spending of said gifts just so they have some form of control against you
@@fallingbisexualdisaster thanks, its fan art of how Percy and Annabeth look in the books, and its just so amazing, total props to the person who made the fan art
22:19 I really like that it seems like most LGBT kids are born in the most conservative families and it's weirdly hilarious. I discovered your channel only yesterday but I fellin love with you and your content. Keep up your amazing work
@@jurassicsmackdown6359dude my dad is Mormon! I do everything against rules Don’t drink coffee Nope I do that! Don’t drink alcohol Nope I do that! Don’t lust I simp for men and woman so I pretty much broke both rules. It’s feel good break rules.
"She continues to make them message me so I can't be rude and say no" No, no, be rude! Definitely be rude here! Life's too short to play stupid games about this nonsense.
People like that will always find a way to play victim when you finally put your foot down. It's horrendous and exhausting when they go "We just want to welcome you to our great group! Why are you so hostile? We thought you were well behaved than that."
I actually wanted to see him sending back a book report so unrelated or sending a report that is so "atheistically" interpreting the right book that they won't messege him any longer.
You saying "Never be ashamed of who you are." so serios and convincing really hit me. Thank you so much for putting these positive messages out there. It means a lot for someone whose parents taught the opposite.
I am autistic and I djslike too colorful things, especially on myself, cause its a sensory overload at times. I also do not like light... Still I aint an ahole to others about it, be gay do crime and bath in color and glitter all you want! If the thing I feel comfortable is rainbow shielaces in an otherwise all black outfit, that's a me problem
I always look forward to the end of the video where he says “alright, get outta here 🙂” cause it makes me feel almost like a kid being told to go play. Such a warm and fuzzy thing that offers acceptance and kindness more than my own family does. I love this community.
To anyone with crappy parents/family : remember there are two families. The one we're born with we don't get to chose, and the one we build around ourselves through the years. If the first one sucks, focus on the second one.
AMEN!! I love the family I’ve built, and I’m lucky that it includes my siblings still. I know not everyone is lucky to have a combination like this, so I’m grateful to have this one small thing.
the family i am aprt of aint even my bio family we built it out of love and respect and then I go to my bio family annd everything is haywall and daddio is too religious
I learned somewhere that the term "Blood is thicker than water" is an abbreviated and twisted version of "The blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb" Basically you choose the people that matter
one of my older cousins found my instagram where i'm a bit more open about my sexuality, so i ended up having to come out to her! it was scary, because i can't trust my aunt (she's homophobic and thinks january 6 was justified). but cousin said i'll always be her family, and if i'm scared of coming out to her mom and our grandparents, then she'll keep it a secret. i don't deserve her :'D
I hope that one day you're able to escape the toxicity of those hateful family members of yours. Take it from someone with experience: It's okay to disown family if they're hurting you. You'll feel better for it in the long run. that said, I'm glad you've found support with your cousin
24:16 reminds me of this one time when i was three. My mother was in some kinda theatre club, and my dad and i went to watch one of her plays, and at some point, she said something like "but i have no children!" And i started cryinf and said something like "WHAT ABOUT MEEE"
@@Guywithabadenglish The ™ is to indicate that we are not talking about every heterosexual, just those who have proclaimed themselves the Official representatives of all straight people, usually for the sake of spouting off anti-LGBT+ crap.
My little brother and sister are horribly abused by their, quite frankly, evil father and he got full custody after years of court battles because my mom called the police too many times to report his abuse. The judge thought it was suspicious how often she called, not the fact that my siblings keep being abused, physically and emotionally.
The funniest thing about the bean story to me, is that the op thinks that beans are evidence of adultery. Not underwear you don't recognize, or late night secret calls, but beans. Like someone went, "I'm going to date a married man behind his wife's back. I should buy beans and put it in their cupboard."
Everytime OT says "by subscribing you become roomates of the channel!" I just can't stop myself from shouting "OH MY GOD WE WERE ROOMATES" alone in my bedroom and it is becoming embarassing.
There’s a difference between punishment and discipline. Discipline is when you try to teach your child what they did wrong and why so that they will avoid doing things like that in the future. Punishment is done out of anger and/or spite and it teaches your child to be afraid of you.
Edit: the happy birthday bit at the end warms my soul, they're so sweet! so I have ADHD and my wonderful mother, who most of the time is actually fine, has had several "mommy moments" in my life because, as a child with ADHD, i have gotten distracted and my grades have been wonky. this primarily happened in elementary school, through which i always had As and Bs and through middle school when my grades got a bit worse because i started going to one of those magnet schools for "gifted" kids. she regularly took books away, took my cd player away(which i used almost exclusively to help me sleep), sold my wii because "you never use it" after grounding me from legit everything for a year straight in first grade, and many many other times all because "they're distractions". the kicker is that she's a therapist
@@xd._.28234 I've known more than one therapist who could really use therapy themselves. In college we used to joke that people majored in Psychology when they were messed up themselves and wanted to know why. Sometimes they don't really figure it out. Or externalize it so much they can't imagine it applying to them.
7:45 I’m actually really glad someone said this. As a person who lives with my parents, it’s really sad how parents expect you to be the exact copy of who you they are. They refuse to except you for who you are and tell you that it just a phase, blame it on the content that you watch, or the people you are friends with. I literally lost my friend that that I have been friends with since 2nd grade because my mom blamed her when she found out I was questioning my gender identity. You basically do everything they say all of your childhood. And apparently you owe them something for doing the bare minimum, and if you actually say something against it you will be considered ungrateful and will be shut out. Like your not allowed to have a voice or have any say in any argument because if you do it will be considered “talking back” Not saying this is all parents though, just mine and some other peoples experience with parents. I love parents 🤩 (I deeply apologize for the rant.)
hello, i feel that. grew up in a dysfunctional family myself and they manipulated me into thinking the good part of my family is racist and horrible while they are trying to get me out of this toxic household. realised it and will be moving out soon, cutting all ties to the family i am with right now. what you went through sounds similar to my experiences, just that they pretended i had an opinion and that they only become a good family in front of others, and then bash me indirectly after the others a gone. i was also blamed for destroying this entire family, sustainability and LGBTQ+ is also a "trend" according to them. something the foreigners invented that has become popular by now. i am glad if i can distance myself from this household and i hope that whatever you do works out for you. let me give you a hug instead of your mother. from a random stranger in the internet.
Hey there other people that lived my life. It sucks to be a liability and a burden. Im genderfluid and Pansexual. I was perfect and good when I did whatever they said, but when I was myself I was a disappointment. A disgusting shut who needed to know her place. They barely saw me and never bothered to hear me. It got worse when the mental issues started popping up. I have severe depression and anxiety. My panic attacks are frequent and I have very suicidal thoughts. Mix that with the neglect and verbal abuse, well let's just say I'm lucky to be here. I also have high functioning Autism as well as ADHD and OCPD. So my family didn't know how to deal with me. I say this as a friend. A fellow fucked up individual scorned for being...me. If you ever need a hug, I'm here.
God that Shampoo thing sent me back to my best friend in middle school who was only allowed to shower/wash hair once per week (Druing puperty no less) because she "wasted to much water" its only a way to control and shame the children
I've actually used my own soaps for bubbles just because my son loves the way they smell. Im happy to buy more if/when it runs out. He only has one childhood and those are the sorts of memories I want him to have. I know that's not the worst one, but it got under my skin for some reason.
It got under your skin because it's the very antithesis of how you're raising your own children. I have not children and never will, so forgive me for the parenting advice, but I was telling a coworker yesterday, and then telling my own father today, that for all their faults, "My parents did not raise 4 boys, They raised _four adults._ The always kept in mind that we _would_ be adults one day, and wanted to make sure that we would be the kind of adults that they enjoyed being around … and conversely, would _never_ be the kind of adults that they couldn't stand!" I have a feeling you're going to be the same kind of parent.
Honestly, I went minimal contact with my mom because talking to her was stressing me out. Constantly asking if I lost any weight, misgendering and dead naming my partner, downplaying my stress. When I confessed to a suicide attempt, she immediately turned it around and asked whether or not she gave me a good life. I haven't come out to her because of the "fears" she had when she thought my brother was gay. I'm pretty sure she at least suspects that I'm not straight, but also pretty sure she's denying that her former golden child is anything but. I intend to come out when our boyfriend moves in.
i hope this goes well, i'm sorry you went through all that parents be like that sometimes still in closet myself probably for life , but still proud in my heart , keep me updated !
19:25 - I just love the fact that throughout that piece, the mother kept emphasising THERE when that was actually the wrong word.... What's the bet that she probably doesn't approve of her kids learning about pronouns at THEIR school?
That sucks. I recently saw some funny graffiti in the ladies room of a rest area. Someone had written DON'T FUCK BAD MEN and (presumably) someone else had scratched a line through BAD so it just read DON'T FUCK MEN. Like, be a lesbian to spite them, I guess 😂 Or be ace. Hope your day is going better!
Look up local LGBT organizations that you can call if you do get outed and kicked out, g-d forbid. Also, you should know Trans Lifeline isn't only a suicide hotline, operators are trained to talk you thru any type of crisis and help you search for local resources that can help you longer term.
I love this subreddit because it prepares me on how toxic people can be and their wicked mental gymnastics, so that I can answer and live on. It is hard and sad but the tiktoks at the end really brighten up the mood
I remember in the 3rd grade there were 3 people named some variation of Kathryn in the class and because I didn't care I got dubbed Kathy. Hated it, but my parents didn't care, and it only lasted until 6th grade when we all started middle school. Over a decade later I picked up the nickname Kate at work and my mother refused to call me that. Not that I even ever asked her to, she just repeatedly told me that she "never wanted you to be a Kate". So I can totally relate to Andy. Poor kid. I hope his situation gets less fraught when he grows up.
“Raise your kids without any electronics! Type writers and candles only! Make fake maps so they don’t know about the outside world!” That’s a plot for a horror story.
That sounds like a lot of fun under the right circumstances Like, a mini house way out in the backyard (imagine having a few acres of land) and your kid loves the old west and gunslingers Give em a typewriter, candles, dried food and a .22 rifle and watch em play ozark mountaineer
I have had to use my kids' money to buy things before, but that's because my eldest is taking chemo and to say we're flat broke is nearly an understatement. But, unlike the mom making her kids buy shampoo, I feel like the worst dad in the world when I had to take money out of their college funds to pay the utilities bills. I'm just hoping money gets better for us soon so I can put that money back into their accounts.
My mother asked to borrow a lot of my money once to get her passport updated for a job. She paid it back fully a week later. I think it’s sad that sometimes parents need to do that, but a good parent does it for the good of their family and not for selfish reasons. I don’t know you, but you sound like one of the good ones :3
To be fair, at least you're doing this out of a college fund, which is money to be used for them at a later date, and is intentionally meant to not really be accessed (Except for emergencies, like what you're doing), whereas what she did was steal money from them that was meant to be used by them at their discretion.
I think the “i identify as a broom” inside joke is talking about a cutaway gag where a person keeps unzipping their costume until they reveal they are a broom.
I just had a disturbing realization that I am often seen as a parental figure because of these people. That's so messed up I can barely like get my mind around it. I take care of kids so much better than these people and I don't even technically have any. This is so disappointing. On another note this was a great video!!!
12:30 I actually thought she was joking with that "for me" statement because I can actually see my father doing a joke like that and then proceed to give an advice (quite repetitive, because he always feels like giving advice, but still trying to be helpful), but my goodness this mother is crazy.
It used to be a common criminal offense in many jurisdictions until the 20th century. Not that it was enforced terribly well or even handedly, of course.
Adultery may be a shitty thing to do that winds up hurting both parties of a relationship, but putting someone in jail for it seems really excessive. And how does one define adultery? Is it what some insane partners think when they say that so much as talking to friends of the same gender is cheating, or is it only having sex with someone else (which would allow for other lesser forms of extramarital romance)? And where do polyamory or swinger relationships fit in among all that? So it's not only excessive, it's outdated as shit now that society has moved past older "norms".
@@carniethedat7071 it'd probably keep jealous \ angry spouse's from killing their cheating partners, although murdering someone isn't any better than cheating on them
These posts remind me to be grateful my parents aren't like this. Also really grateful my mum had the courage to leave my bio father as he's the insane parent type.
Recently moved back home to be closer to family. Proud to say they have all now accepted me for being trans and pansexual. (It wasn’t always that way, but they came ‘round in the end.) 🥹🖤🥰🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ I’m a lucky guy. Love to you, OT!!
The mom who was telling her kid that they're "Being manipulated" while very obviously trying to manipulate her child is an incredibly relatable situation to me. Those kinds of people don't actually think there's anything wrong with treating others around them as objects to be manipulated. They just think it's wrong when THEY'RE the ones who can't do the manipulating. They think everyone in the world is just as sociopathic as they are. My daughter has a partner that I don't approve of? Then the partner must be manipulating them! In this scenario the daughter has absolutely no agency in the mothers eyes, she's just an idiot who exists to be manipulated by the forces of the world. In the mother's eyes rhe daughter needs to be manipulated by the "Correct" forces, her.
17:08 when you're 7 and you and your peers can't even read yet, your name gets shortened whether you like it or not. I still grieve for the poor Filipino kid in our class named "Melchizedek", after the old testament king of Salem. It was 5 syllables and we couldn't pronounce it at all. You want to take a wild guess what we shortened it to? Melchi. Pronounced "Milky". No one liked it. It was a bad time for all.
7:43 idk why, but this little bit you added made me feel so happy. I haven’t really had the most accepting parents, and im really stressed lately, so thanks for being so accepting 1t. Your videos help me so much.
20:20 so i think this problem is appropriate to deal with (kids wasting shampoo and body wash as bubble bath) it’s a problem a lot of parents have to deal with, i think the best thing to do is to keep the problem relevant to what they’re doing (relating it to money isn’t gonna teach them shit) so maybe giving each kid a single bottle of shampoo conditioner and body wash for like a month or 6 weeks and telling them they can’t get a new one even if they emptied till the end of the month, so they would know not to waste it (also they have to be reminded of the consequence) so they can learn the right lesson and not that they’re parent is untrustworthy or doesn’t care abt them maybe even giving them a bubble bath if they didn’t finish it at the end of the month as a reward for their responsibility!
Honestly I do really enjoy the wholesome TikTok‘s at the end especially because this is sub can be pretty triggering. Having something to ground us at the end and remind us that there are good people in the world is very nice thanks OT
😳omg did i get *shorter*
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Boop
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💀 chain
All Kids deserve Parrents.
Not all Parents deserve Kids.
I feel parents need to sign a contract or something stating that they well give their child unconditional love
@@Moss-and-T3A Based on the "parents" in this video, I'm sure they'll find loopholes.
@@dannyfoxboi Sadly true
@@Moss-and-T3A a "parenting licence" is needed
@@kitsunekaze93 yep there should be a parenting license
I actually act as a stand in parent for multiple girls I know because I care about them more than their actual parents do. More countries need tighter laws on what is and isn't acceptable for parents to do. Too many parents get away with negligence and abuse.
🫂
I'm the internet mom for like 4 people cus their parents suuuuck, better mom than their parents combined lol
Thank you for being there for those girls! It sucks that their families aren't up to the task. They are lucky to have you 💕
Same, it’s so bad to the point I feed and take care of my YOUNGER COUSINS, it’s sad :(
I have major "Mom Vibes".apparently, I end up a motherly figure for a lot of people. Have had a couple actually call me "adoptive mother" after I pointed out that I was old enough to be their mom. ^.^;;
All I did was say things like "I care about you being happy" and "You can talk to me about what you're going through any time"...
My dad basically said “ I’m not homophobic but, pride is wrong . Only boys and girls exist. Gay marriage should be illegal.” When we were making cookies that had nothing to do with this. Wow, thanks dad.
There's a lot to unpack there...
Sounds like something a homophobic person would say
"What do YOU lose by having gay marriage be legal? What do YOU lose by people of a complex gender spectrum being acknowledged? The answer is nothing. So can your hate before I call your parents to tell them how much of a bigot you turned out to be."
Your dad being like "i don't wanna say anything unpopular but some people don't deserve rights."
@@Pixeling1 bait
Threatening people to call the police over beans is..... something
It would be a funny story though
When the crazy is so strong you can smell it through the damn screen... Some of these people are so insane and dysfunctional that even the Joker thinks they need professional help.
Joker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And I thought I was crazy. I am a Buddhist compared to them!
“What’s this? OH GOD NO NOT BEANS! BEANS ARE EVIL! NOOOO!!”
Welcome to Oklahoma
I imagine divorcing someone because of suspicious beans is a reward to their spouse because she sounds.... unpleasant.
re Andy's mom: a name is a gift you give your kid. Once its theirs, they can do whatever they choose with it. They can change it to suit their tastes or get rid of it completely.
What really gets me is that the person she should be talking about this with, even as insane as she is, is Andy. Like, he's the one in a position to tell people what to call him and enforce it. It says a lot about how she sees her kid.
@Jenny Munday, That is a beautiful way of putting it, a name as a gift.
Hope you don't mind me borrowing that as a saying to use myself.
@@carolinelabbott2451 I don't mind at all! :)
I completely agree, my daughter Sunny (8) has decided she likes the name Summer better.... okay kid you got it lol. She also has seen me refuse to go by my government name her whole life too so, it'd be pretty shitty for me not to grant her the same respect
Yea, kids should be allowed to do whatever with their name. It’s their choice. It doesn’t matter if the kid is cis or trans or whatever. You gave that name to them, and now they have the power over it
The kid cheering for their dad graduating just- it really did pull on my heartstrings.
Goals, honestly.
I was there when my dad graduated, too. That was when I was 10. He dropped out when I was born so he could take care of me and I love him.
I'm in high school now and we get coffee every Wednesday before I go to school
@@opalescantmoon82 That's fantastic. I'm so glad to hear that you and him have that kind of relationship.
If ever I'm a dad, I want to be the kind who treats his kid well enough for them to want to do stuff like that with me.
I’m a trans women and nothing would make me happier that having kids of my own some day, meanwhile these parents have kids they don’t want and treat them like crap
Yeah same, I don't get how people can act like this to their own kids
mood, sister
mood
Cis woman here. I would honestly love to donate my uterus to a trans woman who wants children, because I never want to be pregnant ever. Could take the ovaries too but they're riddled with cysts.
I hope the transplantation of reproductive organs becomes a reality in the next couples years, I know they are making steps
You could adopt someone who was in an abusive or toxic household^^
The mom with the shampoo, my siblings and I would've taken all the shampoo and given it to our classmates and stopped washing our own hair out of sheer spite. We honestly would have given away every single bottle and if she argued, it was bought with our gift cards therefore we could do whatever we wanted with it.
Really. Have a "shave your heads for cancer" party just to really rub it in.
I'd be like OK well you can only use the amount you "pitched in" for. If you want to be that level of "fair".
Love it
Cut and dye your hair to assert dominance,let them know they dont get any say or control in this.
Eh I have poured it down the sink while making eye contact with her
I live in one of the most conservative countries, India, where the LGBTQ community is more or less openly discriminated against.
I was soooo scared about it but I came out as a transwoman about 2 months and I truly feel lucky to have parents who understood how I felt and are supporting me through it.
That’s awesome! So glad you are getting the support you deserve 💖🌈
That’s wonderful! I hope have great life!
Congratulations on your transition!
Always good to know there are good people everywhere.
I hope that your transition is going well and that above all you are safe
So grateful my mom is not nuts. And she forever stands up for me, from supporting that I’m Aroace to reminding me that I have rights as a disabled person because for me it’s easy to forget that.
To be honest the LGBTQ community gets treated better then the disabled
Give your mom an extra hug & tell her the internet thinks she’s a nice person
Tell your mom that a random disabled internet person thinks she seems great!!
Tell your mom she is amazing ☺️
I'm aroace and disabled too. Your mom is the best. Give her lots of hugs.
I like how OT can be wholesome while still knowing when to yell at people
I LOVE it when he says, "NO!"
@@AuntLoopy123 agreed
OT is amazing
i think a crucial part of being wholesome is standing up for what's right and speaking out about injustice.
@@cravenlunatic1 Absolutely!
My grandma was sayin some homophobic and transphobic things and AFTER, she said, and I quote, "and i'm not homophobic or anything but it's all true." And I did a BOMBASTIC side-eye
I hate hypocritical homophobes and transphobobes🤦♂️
"Grandma, I say this with as much love as I possibly can: if you want to ever see me again, you'd better fix your bigotry or I'll cut this relationship off."
@@mndlessdrwer literally what I'm doing lol
@@hens4saleIf it works out, you get a supportive grandma. If it doesn't, then you cut a source of conflict and strife out of your life. You've got to weigh how much you value a relationship against how much you value your mental health. If you dread visiting that person more than you love them then it's worth the ultimatum.
@@mndlessdrwer it's a win-win situation
I will never understand how a parent can say they will always love you and then say you’re disgusting for who you love.
I told all of my kids, from the time they were little, that I'd always love and accept them, no matter what. All 3 of them have given me the opportunity to prove it! (As kids will do!) And if anybody wonders, my ace, trans enby kid is not the one who gave me the hardest time with this.
Blessed day/night to you.🙏❤🏳🌈🏳⚧
If it's "i love you but you shouldn't be with someone who wipes their butt with cheetos" i get it but most of the time that's better than forcing an abuser or unwanted partner onto them
Yeah I say conditional love isn't love, and I mean who should care who their kid dates as long as it's not an abusive relationship? I mean, are YOU the one dating this person? Are YOU going to potentially consider marrying them one day? Why do some people need to be so possessive, like... At the same time I hope the kid moves out asap, I'm also always a bit worried that the parent(s) genuinely need help themselves to realize what gave them such a toxic world view because I don't think that's normally how people naturally behave unless taught to be so intolerant
Facing that right now. I am 27 years old and came out as trans. My parents were insulted that I came out publicly so they couldn't intimidate me into silence like they always have. Then they ghosted me for months, when we finally met up they blamed me for everything. That I've been lying to them all these years, when it was for my own safety. Insulted that I chose my own name and 'rejected' their gift and they flat out refuse to see anything I have to say. I must respect their religion, but they will never respect me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know why I still love them...
@@StudlyFudd13 please accept some mama hugs. 💙💗🤍💗💙
Sounds like your parents have some issues to work through. That's on them. The fact that you can still love them just proves that the Divine spark in you is bright and strong.
Those tiktoks restored me after those horrible parent posts. I started crying roughly around the time the little girl shouted "I love you daddy!" when her dad was graduating.
Those TikToks were the palate cleanser we all needed. ☺️
I started sobbing at the grandparents saying hi to the door camera.
I often sort of accept that I don't have family and I have no idea what it would be like to have a relative as an adult, but it really got to me this time.
Saaaame.
The fact she calls it a "mummy moment", a phrase I don't think already exists for this behaviour, tells me it's something she does. I hope that child doesn't need too much therapy
This is definitely not a first time. I hope that she bought her kid a new Xbox. Even if the kid was doing something bad then unplugging it or restricting the time spent would've been so much better. I hope she gains restraint otherwise her child may not continue contact if unneeded
Like 'mommy moments' come after 'mommy drinks'.
A parent referring to a violet, destructive outburst of anger directed at your child and/or their belongings a 'Mommy Moment' really lets you know that person has no business being a mommy! To me, 'Mommy Moment' would be my time alone in the bathroom, because that's the only time I can get away from the kids.
Right? A 'Mommy Moment' is like when my mom goes through all of her kids, and dogs, and cats names except mine trying to talk to me. Not violence.
What she actually had was a "toddler tantrum moment"
@@alicine-sims8988 that's a daddy moment 4 me lol
Your typo of "violet outburst" makes me picture an anger scale that runs from infrarude to ultraviolent
Exactly this. My mommy moments are me locking the bathroom door, leaving the lights off, and sitting in an empty bathtub contemplating my life choices. Then I go back out and be the best mom I can be.
I love how they’re ALWAYS “you wouldn’t get it, you’re not a parent” like I raise you eldest girl cousin of extended immigrant family. If we’re talking experience years I’ve got them lapped like 5 times lol
Take it from me, treating kids like human beings is actually way less work in the long run
I was second eldest.. of FOURTY COUSINS. People used to ask if I was the mom of some of them when I was like.. fourteen which is a whole other level of gross lol
@@Romanticoutlaw lol this though, it’s not even all that untrue, when things start burning some those kids are still coming to me long before they even think about going to their parents, so it feels like I’m just never going to escape being the family fix-it button
Everyone wonders why I’m in no hurry to settle down and have kids lol
I started babysitting a couple kids in my neighborhood when I was about age 8, my older cousin (about 5 years older than me) who lived with us had a baby just after she turned 18 and I helped raise him for a few years, I babysat again in high school for a neighbor, and then my nephew was born when I was 24 and he has lived with me his whole life (still does; almost age 21). Also, my nephew's sister (older by about 8 years) has a 6 yo and 8 yo who I have been visiting and helping a little to care for for a few years since they moved back to TX. Everyone thought my cousin was mine, even when I was 13 yo.
So, just because I don't have children and never want to have any of my own, I have helped care for and raised children for most of my life. Don't they know that their are aunts/uncles, care givers, and teachers who have no children who do actually know how to care for children too? People should never assume a single person without children does not know how to care for or raise them properly.
@@Romanticoutlaw FORTY? DAMN WHAT THE HELL
@@howtodrinkwaterin5simplesteps mormons be breeding like rabbits. My grandma on my dad's side had ten kids
Abusive/manipulative/toxic parents make my blood boil. Nothing makes me infuriated quicker than an unrepentant abuser, especially of children. Some of these were really relatable too haha, which never helps me feel calmer.
The parent who told their queer child they were being manipulated did the exact thing my parents did to me! I distanced myself from them because I noticed they only made me feel bad about myself, and when I came out and told them about my partner, they blamed them for our distant relationship and told me that I was being manipulated. My mother also threatened to tell my homophobic family about my sexuality. It didn't feel nice (it is still fairly recent), but you, OT, putting into words that the one who holds information over someone else's head is probably the manipulator, just reminded me that their actions are pure gaslighting, and that I'll know who I am, not other people
sexualities shouldn't matter to our parents if we are queer we are queer and if my dad ever threatened to tell other of my family members that i am ase i will just okay my sexuality is not meant to be a weapon for another person and post it to where eeveryone knows that i am ase and my dad isn't okay with it. it really is most of the time that the dad is the homophobic but times like this it is just the whole family
being queer is great for me it saved my life
my mom keeps telling me that i've been brainwashed into being nonbinary and agnostic... and i haven't even brought up my girlfriend yet
Queerphobic parents are nothing short of human monsters. Don't let them drag you down to their level, and outlive those bastards long enough to spit on their graves once they're gone. To anybody with parents like that, stay strong, show them that they have no power over you.
Saddly sometimes we need to prune the family tree for own our psicological well being. And i hope you get better, and get help and confort of other family members or closed friends. And saddly some parents are so much into their own homophobics believes that don't realise the amount of pain they cause to their children.
Saying someone is being manipulated while literally leveling a large number of financial and social threats at them...
That really requires a total lack of self-awareness
To anyone out there with unaccepting parents know that there are people who WILL accept you. It’s also perfectly fine to cut people out of your life once you can do so safely. Some people may judge you for doing so, but you have to take care of yourself.
this!
Seconded. If I had a dollar for every time a person asked me why I don’t talk to my mother, i would be rich. But I don’t let that bother me and I tell those people, if my mom wanted to be a part of my life, she had every opportunity to earn a place. But she hasn’t yet and I’ve come to terms with it as long time ago. I wasn’t the one to cut her out, she did that herself through her words and actions. I simply decided that i deserved to live a happier and more fulfilled life without her than the drama-filled and miserable life I had had with her. She was manipulative, condescending, neglectful, and abusive. No one needs that in their life.
Live your life the way you wish to live your life. Also… It’s ok if you still care about and love your parent(s), even if they did not love you in the way you deserve. You can love and/or care about them from a safe distance, though, with either no contact or minimal contact-whatever you handle.
It’s also completely ok if you *do not* love and/or care about your parent(s). You are not obligated to care for someone who did nor provide you with the love and care you deserve. As *all* living beings deserve. What’s Important is that you look after yourself and that you love you。
I third this statement!
Exactly! And trying to guilt trip someone with the whole "bUt We'Re YoUr FaMiLy AnD bLoOd Is ThIcKeR tHaN wAtEr" is such manipulative and toxic bullshit.. get as far away from that as you can. You owe it to yourself to take care of your mental health and protecting your peace.
And something else to remember, I don’t know if this will help anyone, but if you’re ashamed to have the genes of your parents, remember that once upon a time, billions of years ago, we shared an ancestor. That ancestor was a little cell, trying to survive and adapt to its environment. That little cell lives on in you, and you can make your life better and adapt yourself. You’re a testament to the tenacity of life, and you are GREATER than the sum of your parts. How awful your parents are has no bearing whatsoever on you, you are just that little cell marching into a brighter and better future in spite of the rough environment you were born in. You are okay, and you deserve happiness.
And know that out there in the world, there exist perfect strangers who are cheering for you. I don’t know you, I don’t know your name, but I believe in you, and I’m not the only one. You’ve got this! ❤
I'm non binary, and in my teens I had a relationship with a girl whose mother said I could come over to visit as a friend, but not as a partner.
...How we were supposed to split this up, I never understood... People are indeed complicated. 😅
[Edit: I'm the kind of non binary that actually has made strangers come up to me and wonder " What I *am* "]
I hate when people ask that, I’m a trans guy and people ask me that too😭
@@Dino.Nuggetsart I think it's a little funny too, actually.
I can't for a minute understand the mindset though - they wouldn't go up to a cis person even to ask for their name, if there's no particular reason.
However I can understand that it really must hurt to hear that question in your case, as you actually *are* a guy.
When I get the question, I don't really know what to answer, and I kind of light heartedly have said so many things, from non-binary, to human, animal, being, etc..
Don't lose courage because of those stupid questions, is my advice - the most important thing is that You know *WHO* (not "what") you are, and that you can stand up for yourself.
It is, when it comes down to it, a really rude question, and I understand that it's easier to deal with for me, being non-binary.
🏳️⚧️
🏳️🌈
@@Dino.Nuggetsarti would say better ask then misgender but the attitude of the question makes a huge difference. Likw people cant telepathically just know the right pronouns and all, but ine does not have to be a dick about not knowi g and demanding an explanation
You know what made me happy cry? I was at pride and there were females and males wearing "Mom Hugs" and "Dad Hugs" respectively. Those people, they deserve to be parents.
thats just so damn beautiful. omg
aww, i was a video with that in it. so wholesome
Dope idea
I'm a parent and I am totally down for free hugs. I'm a big time hugger and knowing it would make a kid's or adult's day would make it all the better.
I don’t get it. Why would that be sweet? I think my brain isn’t working right now
I'm trying to not fall into the same shit as my insane parents with my (step) kid. It's such a fear of mine to become like them
You'll do better. Just love them and show it.
I was going to say you being afraid of becoming your parents means your on the right track. Your going be a great parent
the fact that you recognize that what they did wasn't okay and are intending to break the cycle of awful already means you're better than them ♥
Always try to do your best
If you’re afraid of being a bad person, you”re most likely a good person. Keep going, you’re awesome
23:59
I was scared to come out as trans to my bf last time I saw him.
We're still dating as boyfriends rn
People are indeed liking this.
Congratulations on your transition!
@@Ester_... Heheh... Haven't actually transitioned yet.
If all goes well here, I'll be able to start actually transitioning next year.
@@theaterfalls i hope everything goes well for you :)
Dude that is super cute story. I know it is awful coming out to people close to you. So glad it turned out ok
That last video killed me in a good way. Before we moved out our neighbor had a two year old and this little stinker would get outside, run across the connected porch to our apartment, and bang his little hands on our window and yell "CAN I PET YOUR CATS?" It would scare the shit out of us every damn time. And if he didn't somehow want to pet our cats (Rowen and the Other Rowen, as he called them -- Other Rowen was Malcolm, and he sadly passed away this year unexpectedly), he wanted us to watch Thomas the Tank Engine on his tablet with us or bring his mom's cellphone (that he stole to call his grandma who also sadly passed away unexpectedly this year) and have us say hi to his grandma. Sweetest dang kid. He still asks about us and the cats according to his mom (we still talk sometimes). Still can't believe he's in first grade already. He's so dang smart. I miss our conversations when he was little and learning about the world. First time we'll see each other since we moved will be at his grandma's celebration of life next month. It'll be good to see him and his little brother (who won't remember us since he was a baby at the time) again even if my roommate and I will be sad. That video brought on a smile, made me remember some of our old conversations and laughs. Thanks.
The one about being investigated 50 times bugs me so much. The parent is so oblivious in asking "why didn't you say something to the investigators?" Gee, I don't know, maybe they didn't feel safe and worried about what you would do if they did. Or maybe they didn't even realize that what happened was abusive until they went to tell what they thought was a "funny anecdote" to their friends years later only to be met with a look of horror and be told "wow that's fucked up, are you okay?" People usually wouldn't be calling child services to investigate you that many times if nothing was wrong. Maybe it wasn't bad enough for them to step in (or they were just not doing their duty because that's something a lot of CFS investigations have an issue with sadly) or maybe they didn't see enough to have solid proof and your kid lied to keep themself safe, whatever the case, there's still something wrong if you've been looked into that many times and you shouldn't be boasting about it like that
However, there is one other possibility. My mom, and then I, had a problem with one relative who had a savior complex, and Munchousen by proxy, who reported us over and over, even getting my son put in foster care by blaming all her abuse on me. I didn't know it was happening until I was handed paperwork and told whether I signed or not, he was going into foster care. When I broke down crying saying signing him over to the state would be better than her keeping him is when they started properly investigating, and connected her with 3 other cases of child abuse. The investigators filed cases by the kids names, so repeat abusers were slipping through the cracks all the time because some times, the names of the abusers *weren't even recorded!*
Treating your kids as property = instantly failing as a parent.
double outro AND *wholesome TikToks* at the end?? 💜
Yes
Hey no spoilers
Regardless of hight or appearance your wholesome uplifting content will always overshadow any perceived flaws, so I believe it matters not
- another comment to help the algorithm :)
HECK YEAAAAAA
I am here for it
I have a corn snake. She's oddly expressive for an animal that can't make facial expressions.
Aww, snek!
Danger noodle!!!
Snek
I am so happy you have a sweet snek, they’re so cute!! Enjoy your lovely girl 🐍
really cool =)
THANK YOU for knowing, and explaining, the difference between a "theory" in science vs common parlance!! I am a science educator, and have had so many conversations with so many adults who have never learned this simple, important distinction that is pretty fundamental to understanding how science works. Seeing a popular, non-science TH-camr just casually throw it out there has kind of renewed my faith in humanity a little.
As a trans woman, I can GUARANTEE Andy's mom that he won't be stuck with his highschool nickname forever if he doesn't want to be. 😅😅 I'm not sure she'd find that reassuring.
Plot twist: Andy comes out as trans and keeps the name, never to be called Andrew again 😂
As a transdude who picked out Andrew and absolutely LOATHES being called Andy, that was really disorienting to listen to, but yeah. He won't be stuck with it. People are usually respectful about that.
@@UturuncuWhat is your opinion on Drew? /jk
My mom’s name has two nicknames and _hates_ when people assume she uses either one. So she gave both of her kids names that do not have nicknames.
Unfortunately, my name is one of a cluster of names which are all _ever so slightly_ different from one another XD
5:17 This one made me physically cringe because my mom was very bothered by my acne when I was a kid and I just know that this child is gonna grow up with self-image issues.
Yeah it's so bad. And I would bet money on the fact that the acne going away with constant use was just time doing it's thing and had nothing to do with her assault on the babies face.
Baby acne is pretty common and goes away on its own. The moms obsession does reflect some issues though and likely will cause her to put pressure on the kid for other things.
"Being their mother and having the authority to do so" is a phrase that should immediately get you on a list if you post it online.
17:17 this mom is absolutely insane. Kids will choose nicknames for themselves all the time. And they may like to be called different things by different people, too. Like this pair of siblings at the after school program I worked at, neither of them liked being called by their full names. One was seven, the other was five. And they were called what they wanted to be called, including by their parents. Because their parents were sane people who respect that children have autonomy.
When I was in middle school, I picked my own (nick)name and was so stubborn about it that eventually, everyone except my parents called me that. They thought it was silly but at least they didn't actively interfere.
I feel like some parents need to understand that even young kids have the right to a certain degree of autonomy because even at that age, they have preferences and a distinct personality. They aren't possessions. That mom's power trip makes me worry for Andy's future tbh.
My sister wanted to be Lucky Lucy when she was in kindergarten. Her name is nowhere close to Lucy. My mom told the teacher to go for it, she had it on her mailbox and everything. Kids pick new names, it's no big deal. Either they grow out of it and it's an amusing anecdote, or they don't and you've respected their autonomy and allowed them to express themselves.
What I found funny about that post specifically is that my oldest brother is named Andrew but he hated the name Andy and always insisted everyone call him Andrew lol
if this is how she reacts to a change from Andrew to Andy, I can only dread how she'd react to her child being trans 💀
@@Romanticoutlaw oh my god I didn't even think of that. I wish Andy the best of luck in life....
I always have this sort of bittersweet feeling whenever I see dads being wholesome and great on the internet. Mine isn't that great, and I had to cut ties with him for my own mental health, so whenever I see or hear about other dads being good parents, it makes me sort of choke up. I'm happy for those who have a responsible and good father figure around, but can't help but feel sad that I can't experience that.
@~*sugarai*~ Thank you, that's so sweet ❤
🤗 sending hugs
@~*sugarai*~ i know how you feel i get exactly the same, except i'm only 14 and can't get away from him. sending love🖤
It may not seem like much, but my dad would have loved you.
@@casuallydies It will get better, I promise. I have received your love and I'm sending mine in exchange ❤ Take care of yourself!
The vid where the girl is so excited for the food made me so happy! Nearly brought me to tears when she danced around and gave her dad a hug, that was super sweet :)
If you destroy something your child loves in an act of anger, you are abusive.
Be better.
I can relate to wanting your kids to buy their own soap if they're wilfully wasting what you bought for them. Obviously, this is not the right way to go about it. Like OT said, if it's bubble bath that they really want, then make them use their own money to buy bubble bath stuff.
And, like, sit down with them first, explain why it's a problem and what the consequences will be if they continue to be wasteful. Don't just go on a power trip.
Give them a soap budget or something, and if they have extra money, or make a bottle last X days they get a treat. Not this...
@@sarahr8311 I was thinking, "Small bottles, one for each kid, filled with the shampoo. Enough to last them a week. If they use it before the week, then they only get enough for one day, each day, and get told that Big Boys/Girls get to decide on their own when they don't waste." Because telling a kid that being irresponsible [by being wasteful in this case] makes them a baby is going to make them _want_ to change. Because kids want to be seen as grown-up not infantile.
I think depends how old the kid is a kid in highschool will understand money honestly small kids shouldn't have to worry about that. If the kid is wasting it teach them how much to use it just put it in their hand yourself of they are that small. I grew up in poverty and as a child constantly worried about money it's not good for a kid to do that
My big brother has atleast 2 showers a day, and uses whatever shower gel/shampoo/whatever he can get his hands on, he even used my expensive limited edition soap because it required no effort and he didn't even like it. Yet my mother refuses to make him buy it with his own money because its not fair on him, so I both agree and disagree with that crazy soap person lol.
I grew up with chill parents the only thing they were "strict" on was our safety (by strict I don't mean it in a bad way) and when I came out as bi they were completely fine with it, on top of this they ask me questions about the LGBTQ like how to adesss non-binary people (they are 50+ and are trying their very best). Mental health has also been a big problem in my family so depression and anxiety is not taken lightly. I'm very grateful for my parents :)
Man, that sounds awesome. I’ll admit I’m jealous lol, would’ve killed to have parents like that. It’s so sweet that you acknowledge and appreciate them. Good for y’all :)
17:25 my dad actually did a similar thing to this kid when he moved from his hometown. He went by his middle name back in his hometown, but now goes by a shorter version of his first name. This is just a thing kids do and this lady is insane for thinking she can control it.
She doesn't want a kid, she wants a possession she can control.
When one of my kids told me at the age of 3 or 4 he didn't like the nickname that everyone called him, I went around telling everyone to only call him by his actual name. AT THE KID'S REQUEST! (I still think it's an adorable nickname, but that's irrelevant.) Said kid is 18 now, and has been raised to respect what people want to be called. People who try to control their kids like that really test my pacifist nature.
The Andres/Andy meme is too relatable. My mom named me Jessica and INSISTED I was "Jessica" not "Jess" or "Jessie" for most of my entire life. People still called me "Jess" and I didn't care and still respond to it. Joke's on her, I played World of Warcraft for over 10 years and now play FF14 and respond to a variety of names, and currently often called "Ash" by my friends I play FF14 with because that's my character's name.
The name thing was my mom too 💀. She hates the nickname Isabel. So when some neighborhood kids came over ,she made sure to correct them. It’s just another short way of saying my name -_- . If that’s what they want to call me and I’m okay with it, IT DOESNT MATTER 💀💀.
I have a similar story - I was adopted, and found out I had a brother in 2000. Long story short, we tried getting to know each other (for a few reasons, partly due to b-mum’s mental health, but also a-parents/at least a-dad literally sabotaging our sibling relationship, it hit a dead end). His name is Michael but he wanted me to call him Mike - so I did, but a-mum didn’t like it. I just felt kind of annoyed by it.
My best friends know me under a pseudonym cause I foind the first of them online. At times my legal name is the last I would respond to while cat, kitty, serena, sera, luna, bruce and thor where all things I felt talked too
The parents are physically bigger kids taking care of actual kids, it's insane.
I see your point but... at the same time... aren't we all? XD
As a parent who is desperately trying not to fuck up, this is the truest shit and honestly I think the parents who remember it do a better job at not fucking up.
@@terpsidance.Hey you’re doing better than a lot of parents i’ve seen by just trying not to fuck up prenting
@@SoraQuillI mean, some of us are smarter than others. My dad is a literal child, but he knows how to love people for who they are.
@@Dino.Nuggetsart Thank god they updated the dictionary’s definition of the word literal.
OT kindly telling people off for being assholes is a whole mood
My dad's name is Andy. When my grandmother was deciding what to name him, she debated naming him Andrew. As must people shorten Andrew to Andy; she went with Andy. Growing up people insisted on calling him Andrew.
Naming someone a familiar form instead of the full name is shitty. It denies them the full form they deserve.
@@rosiefay7283 I think this is supposed to be a joke; but I can only reply with; "My dad likes his name. And you be nice to my Nana."
@@rosiefay7283 good thing people can decide what they want to be called themselves
@@rosiefay7283 I actually feel the opposite reaction from this post. Calling someone the full version of someone's name, rather than the familiar version, just because that's the "normal" version of the name seems insensitive and rude. I've had several friends who were given shortened/familiar names at birth, but they still got called the long form of their name, even though it's not actually their name at all.
Examples: (female) Sam gets called Samantha, was named Sam. Rich gets called Richard, was named Rich.
If someone introduces themselves as something, I wouldn't dare assume they meant something else, and lengthen their name to be formal because maybe that's just not their name. Or maybe it was shortened for a reason (named after a relative but they aren't a nice person so they keep some separation with the nickname)
I know a Nate who often meets people that insist on calling him by his long/formal name - except they usually assume it must be "Nathan" and go with that. His actual name is not Nathan. It annoys him and makes people look really stupid.
There are so many of these cases, where they punish their children for either actions they don't realize are wrong (using an entire bottle of body wash or shampoo for a bubble bath) rather than immediately addressing the issue as well as offer solutions to the problem (maybe gift them bath bombs or specialty products for soaks) so that you both will get around it.
Spending all their gift cards (most likely gifts from extended family and friends) on bulk products will just make them more cautious with gifts around you and even reckless spending of said gifts just so they have some form of control against you
OT's chuckle is always so wholesome it's ridiculous
yessssss
I also love your profile pic
@@fallingbisexualdisaster thanks, its fan art of how Percy and Annabeth look in the books, and its just so amazing, total props to the person who made the fan art
Same, it never fails to cheer me up
It's absolute serotonin
@@MiningNatureYT it is amazing
I really love the books lol
22:19 I really like that it seems like most LGBT kids are born in the most conservative families and it's weirdly hilarious.
I discovered your channel only yesterday but I fellin love with you and your content. Keep up your amazing work
Hilarious in an ironic, painfully depressing way yes
@@jurassicsmackdown6359dude my dad is Mormon! I do everything against rules
Don’t drink coffee Nope I do that! Don’t drink alcohol Nope I do that! Don’t lust I simp for men and woman so I pretty much broke both rules.
It’s feel good break rules.
@@RAC00NFANGIRLrebellion is human nature, after all
@@Sarisjackoviak1815 yep some rules are meant be broken
@@RAC00NFANGIRL how else do we make something new.
"She continues to make them message me so I can't be rude and say no"
No, no, be rude! Definitely be rude here! Life's too short to play stupid games about this nonsense.
People like that will always find a way to play victim when you finally put your foot down. It's horrendous and exhausting when they go "We just want to welcome you to our great group! Why are you so hostile? We thought you were well behaved than that."
I actually wanted to see him sending back a book report so unrelated or sending a report that is so "atheistically" interpreting the right book that they won't messege him any longer.
lmao i would just have blocked them, who cares 😂🤌🏼
I can be hella polite, but if someone messes with me, or my loved ones, it all fades out ngl
@@sundalosketch4769 i'd say... im well behaved less towards annoying flies like you. * *blocks* *
@@shachardl5360 oooooh, this! Do this!
You saying "Never be ashamed of who you are." so serios and convincing really hit me. Thank you so much for putting these positive messages out there. It means a lot for someone whose parents taught the opposite.
my bf is straight and he hates colours, he’s an ally and very supportive of me and our friends that identify as lgbt+, he’s just colourblind.
I am autistic and I djslike too colorful things, especially on myself, cause its a sensory overload at times. I also do not like light... Still I aint an ahole to others about it, be gay do crime and bath in color and glitter all you want! If the thing I feel comfortable is rainbow shielaces in an otherwise all black outfit, that's a me problem
I always look forward to the end of the video where he says “alright, get outta here 🙂” cause it makes me feel almost like a kid being told to go play. Such a warm and fuzzy thing that offers acceptance and kindness more than my own family does. I love this community.
Yes!!! I could never quite describe it, but i love that bit of the videos!
It's nice but I usually don't just get out of here. I go on to the next video
Yes! It's funny how being told to get outta the place makes me feel so welcome 🤭
To anyone with crappy parents/family : remember there are two families. The one we're born with we don't get to chose, and the one we build around ourselves through the years. If the first one sucks, focus on the second one.
AMEN!! I love the family I’ve built, and I’m lucky that it includes my siblings still. I know not everyone is lucky to have a combination like this, so I’m grateful to have this one small thing.
the family i am aprt of aint even my bio family we built it out of love and respect and then I go to my bio family annd everything is haywall and daddio is too religious
I learned somewhere that the term "Blood is thicker than water" is an abbreviated and twisted version of "The blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb" Basically you choose the people that matter
As they say, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”
Amen to that.
17:31 That moment where every Andrew with this playing on a secondary monitor had a small heart attack.
I love seeing OT trying to understand what he's reading as he's reading it.🤣
Also OT's laugh is so contagious🤣 gets me every time.
Ironically the person saying you're being manipulated is being the most manipulative person possible
yes! so true
24:10 "sorry daughter, I have a new kid now."
9:23 I can just see a science teacher finally snap. “You idiot! That’s not a pride flag, it’s a poster of the electromagnetic spectrum!”
one of my older cousins found my instagram where i'm a bit more open about my sexuality, so i ended up having to come out to her! it was scary, because i can't trust my aunt (she's homophobic and thinks january 6 was justified). but cousin said i'll always be her family, and if i'm scared of coming out to her mom and our grandparents, then she'll keep it a secret. i don't deserve her :'D
You _do_ deserve her, just as much as you deserve love and acceptance.
Now THAT is family
Congratulations, my friend! Glad you has a good coming out experience!
I hope that one day you're able to escape the toxicity of those hateful family members of yours.
Take it from someone with experience: It's okay to disown family if they're hurting you. You'll feel better for it in the long run.
that said, I'm glad you've found support with your cousin
@@kittypeanut4102amen 🏳️🌈 Stand proud and high!
Your amazing don’t change for anyone!
24:16 reminds me of this one time when i was three. My mother was in some kinda theatre club, and my dad and i went to watch one of her plays, and at some point, she said something like "but i have no children!" And i started cryinf and said something like "WHAT ABOUT MEEE"
He made her favorite meal. You can just tell. That gave me a huge smile. 23:19
And oh gosh she was so excited!
The Straights,™ to LGBT+-people: "StOp SeXuAlIzInG oUr ChIlDrEn!"
Also the Straights™: 10:24
Ironic
Child pageants creep me out more than that... but that's a good second.
@@AsmodeusDHare the whole idea of childs beauty pageants is bullshit
Damn Straight is a trademark now?
@@Guywithabadenglish The ™ is to indicate that we are not talking about every heterosexual, just those who have proclaimed themselves the Official representatives of all straight people, usually for the sake of spouting off anti-LGBT+ crap.
My little brother and sister are horribly abused by their, quite frankly, evil father and he got full custody after years of court battles because my mom called the police too many times to report his abuse. The judge thought it was suspicious how often she called, not the fact that my siblings keep being abused, physically and emotionally.
The parents this time are so insane we needed both OT and Click to tackle them
FOR THE ALGORITHM !
FOR THE ALGORITHM!
The irony of a mother asking people in a CHRISTIAN server for books that don't tell you what to believe in
The funniest thing about the bean story to me, is that the op thinks that beans are evidence of adultery. Not underwear you don't recognize, or late night secret calls, but beans. Like someone went, "I'm going to date a married man behind his wife's back. I should buy beans and put it in their cupboard."
3:45 Holy shit, they put their kid through dance class EVERY DAY? In my country having an extra-curricular activity twice a week is considered a lot
Everytime OT says "by subscribing you become roomates of the channel!" I just can't stop myself from shouting "OH MY GOD WE WERE ROOMATES" alone in my bedroom and it is becoming embarassing.
There’s a difference between punishment and discipline. Discipline is when you try to teach your child what they did wrong and why so that they will avoid doing things like that in the future. Punishment is done out of anger and/or spite and it teaches your child to be afraid of you.
Edit: the happy birthday bit at the end warms my soul, they're so sweet!
so I have ADHD and my wonderful mother, who most of the time is actually fine, has had several "mommy moments" in my life because, as a child with ADHD, i have gotten distracted and my grades have been wonky. this primarily happened in elementary school, through which i always had As and Bs and through middle school when my grades got a bit worse because i started going to one of those magnet schools for "gifted" kids. she regularly took books away, took my cd player away(which i used almost exclusively to help me sleep), sold my wii because "you never use it" after grounding me from legit everything for a year straight in first grade, and many many other times all because "they're distractions". the kicker is that she's a therapist
ooff, and she is a therapist? am i in the alternative universe? did i miss sth?
@@xd._.28234 I've known more than one therapist who could really use therapy themselves.
In college we used to joke that people majored in Psychology when they were messed up themselves and wanted to know why. Sometimes they don't really figure it out. Or externalize it so much they can't imagine it applying to them.
@@viverra 🤣bet bc... holy hell
7:45 I’m actually really glad someone said this. As a person who lives with my parents, it’s really sad how parents expect you to be the exact copy of who you they are. They refuse to except you for who you are and tell you that it just a phase, blame it on the content that you watch, or the people you are friends with. I literally lost my friend that that I have been friends with since 2nd grade because my mom blamed her when she found out I was questioning my gender identity. You basically do everything they say all of your childhood. And apparently you owe them something for doing the bare minimum, and if you actually say something against it you will be considered ungrateful and will be shut out. Like your not allowed to have a voice or have any say in any argument because if you do it will be considered “talking back”
Not saying this is all parents though, just mine and some other peoples experience with parents.
I love parents 🤩
(I deeply apologize for the rant.)
hello,
i feel that. grew up in a dysfunctional family myself and they manipulated me into thinking the good part of my family is racist and horrible while they are trying to get me out of this toxic household.
realised it and will be moving out soon, cutting all ties to the family i am with right now.
what you went through sounds similar to my experiences, just that they pretended i had an opinion and that they only become a good family in front of others, and then bash me indirectly after the others a gone. i was also blamed for destroying this entire family, sustainability and LGBTQ+ is also a "trend" according to them. something the foreigners invented that has become popular by now.
i am glad if i can distance myself from this household and i hope that whatever you do works out for you.
let me give you a hug instead of your mother.
from a random stranger in the internet.
Hey there other people that lived my life.
It sucks to be a liability and a burden. Im genderfluid and Pansexual. I was perfect and good when I did whatever they said, but when I was myself I was a disappointment. A disgusting shut who needed to know her place. They barely saw me and never bothered to hear me.
It got worse when the mental issues started popping up. I have severe depression and anxiety. My panic attacks are frequent and I have very suicidal thoughts. Mix that with the neglect and verbal abuse, well let's just say I'm lucky to be here.
I also have high functioning Autism as well as ADHD and OCPD. So my family didn't know how to deal with me. I say this as a friend. A fellow fucked up individual scorned for being...me.
If you ever need a hug, I'm here.
Alexander the Great is reputed to have said to his overbearing mother, "Madam, you charge too high a rent for nine months residence."
God that Shampoo thing sent me back to my best friend in middle school who was only allowed to shower/wash hair once per week (Druing puperty no less) because she "wasted to much water" its only a way to control and shame the children
I've actually used my own soaps for bubbles just because my son loves the way they smell. Im happy to buy more if/when it runs out. He only has one childhood and those are the sorts of memories I want him to have. I know that's not the worst one, but it got under my skin for some reason.
It got under your skin because it's the very antithesis of how you're raising your own children.
I have not children and never will, so forgive me for the parenting advice, but I was telling a coworker yesterday, and then telling my own father today, that for all their faults, "My parents did not raise 4 boys, They raised _four adults._ The always kept in mind that we _would_ be adults one day, and wanted to make sure that we would be the kind of adults that they enjoyed being around … and conversely, would _never_ be the kind of adults that they couldn't stand!" I have a feeling you're going to be the same kind of parent.
Honestly, I went minimal contact with my mom because talking to her was stressing me out. Constantly asking if I lost any weight, misgendering and dead naming my partner, downplaying my stress. When I confessed to a suicide attempt, she immediately turned it around and asked whether or not she gave me a good life.
I haven't come out to her because of the "fears" she had when she thought my brother was gay. I'm pretty sure she at least suspects that I'm not straight, but also pretty sure she's denying that her former golden child is anything but.
I intend to come out when our boyfriend moves in.
i hope this goes well, i'm sorry you went through all that parents be like that sometimes still in closet myself probably for life , but still proud in my heart , keep me updated !
I also hope it goes well!! I’m sorry you’re in that situation :((
19:25 - I just love the fact that throughout that piece, the mother kept emphasising THERE when that was actually the wrong word.... What's the bet that she probably doesn't approve of her kids learning about pronouns at THEIR school?
hi ot!! today i saw some homophobic graffiti in my schools bathroom, so thanks for posting! really cheers me up! for the algorithm!!
That sucks. I recently saw some funny graffiti in the ladies room of a rest area. Someone had written DON'T FUCK BAD MEN and (presumably) someone else had scratched a line through BAD so it just read DON'T FUCK MEN. Like, be a lesbian to spite them, I guess 😂 Or be ace. Hope your day is going better!
You should've made the graffiti more gay
Like scribbling in marker "heat from fire, fire from heat" just below it
@@socialistrepublicofvietnam1500 i don’t carry markers on me sadly, so i just tore off the paint it was written on
@@emilyrln it’s been going better :D
@@typicalmango5323 oh nice, i didnt even know you could tear off paint
Gosh I really needed that wholesomeness at the end. I’m scared my parents would kick me out for being trans.
Please don't come out if it not safe to do so. Principle meant jack sh*t when someone had your livelyhood, chance, or lives on their grasp.
Look up local LGBT organizations that you can call if you do get outed and kicked out, g-d forbid. Also, you should know Trans Lifeline isn't only a suicide hotline, operators are trained to talk you thru any type of crisis and help you search for local resources that can help you longer term.
Same, but I'm bi.
I love this subreddit because it prepares me on how toxic people can be and their wicked mental gymnastics, so that I can answer and live on. It is hard and sad but the tiktoks at the end really brighten up the mood
If places are supposed to be coming with beans now, then I need to reevaluate my lease.
I remember in the 3rd grade there were 3 people named some variation of Kathryn in the class and because I didn't care I got dubbed Kathy. Hated it, but my parents didn't care, and it only lasted until 6th grade when we all started middle school. Over a decade later I picked up the nickname Kate at work and my mother refused to call me that. Not that I even ever asked her to, she just repeatedly told me that she "never wanted you to be a Kate". So I can totally relate to Andy. Poor kid. I hope his situation gets less fraught when he grows up.
Yeah when YOU WANT A NICKNAME, everyone freaks out 😂😂😂
“Raise your kids without any electronics! Type writers and candles only! Make fake maps so they don’t know about the outside world!” That’s a plot for a horror story.
That sounds like a lot of fun under the right circumstances
Like, a mini house way out in the backyard (imagine having a few acres of land) and your kid loves the old west and gunslingers
Give em a typewriter, candles, dried food and a .22 rifle and watch em play ozark mountaineer
I have had to use my kids' money to buy things before, but that's because my eldest is taking chemo and to say we're flat broke is nearly an understatement. But, unlike the mom making her kids buy shampoo, I feel like the worst dad in the world when I had to take money out of their college funds to pay the utilities bills. I'm just hoping money gets better for us soon so I can put that money back into their accounts.
As long as you understand that your kids belongings aren't yours I think you're doing a good job.
This sounds like a delicate situation
My mother asked to borrow a lot of my money once to get her passport updated for a job. She paid it back fully a week later. I think it’s sad that sometimes parents need to do that, but a good parent does it for the good of their family and not for selfish reasons.
I don’t know you, but you sound like one of the good ones :3
To be fair, at least you're doing this out of a college fund, which is money to be used for them at a later date, and is intentionally meant to not really be accessed (Except for emergencies, like what you're doing), whereas what she did was steal money from them that was meant to be used by them at their discretion.
That’s a certified The Click thumbnail, I’m proud of you OT
Coincidentally, this video was posted when I was in the middle of Click's own Insane Parents video, lol.
yeah, they seem to be covering the exact same posts this time...
I think the “i identify as a broom” inside joke is talking about a cutaway gag where a person keeps unzipping their costume until they reveal they are a broom.
I just had a disturbing realization that I am often seen as a parental figure because of these people. That's so messed up I can barely like get my mind around it. I take care of kids so much better than these people and I don't even technically have any. This is so disappointing.
On another note this was a great video!!!
With a few legal shenanigans, you could get guardianship of the kids of whom you're already de facto guardian
@@eMorphized minus the fact I’m not even a legal adult 👍
At 20:35 I think the kids now have the authority to spend her money being her kids since their kids they’re legally allowed to do that
You have the most contagious laughter I have ever heard. I can’t help but smile whenever I hear you:)
12:30 I actually thought she was joking with that "for me" statement because I can actually see my father doing a joke like that and then proceed to give an advice (quite repetitive, because he always feels like giving advice, but still trying to be helpful), but my goodness this mother is crazy.
i have never, in my life, known that "adultery" (aka: cheating), is actually ILLEGAL anywhere!!!!!! what!
wikipedia has a whole ass thing about it, and shows where it is still a crime
It used to be a common criminal offense in many jurisdictions until the 20th century. Not that it was enforced terribly well or even handedly, of course.
Pretty sure premarital sex is in some places too
Adultery may be a shitty thing to do that winds up hurting both parties of a relationship, but putting someone in jail for it seems really excessive. And how does one define adultery? Is it what some insane partners think when they say that so much as talking to friends of the same gender is cheating, or is it only having sex with someone else (which would allow for other lesser forms of extramarital romance)? And where do polyamory or swinger relationships fit in among all that?
So it's not only excessive, it's outdated as shit now that society has moved past older "norms".
@@carniethedat7071 it'd probably keep jealous \ angry spouse's from killing their cheating partners, although murdering someone isn't any better than cheating on them
"houses just come with beans"
Oh! Just like wallets/purses!!! So you never go hungry
These posts remind me to be grateful my parents aren't like this. Also really grateful my mum had the courage to leave my bio father as he's the insane parent type.
Recently moved back home to be closer to family. Proud to say they have all now accepted me for being trans and pansexual. (It wasn’t always that way, but they came ‘round in the end.) 🥹🖤🥰🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ I’m a lucky guy. Love to you, OT!!
Glad they except you now!! Also really proud of you!!
Good for you bro
@@alexwolfplush7523 thank you so much! 🥰🖤🤗
@@bradyacheson5240 🤗🖤🖤 Thank you dearly!!
The mom who was telling her kid that they're "Being manipulated" while very obviously trying to manipulate her child is an incredibly relatable situation to me. Those kinds of people don't actually think there's anything wrong with treating others around them as objects to be manipulated. They just think it's wrong when THEY'RE the ones who can't do the manipulating. They think everyone in the world is just as sociopathic as they are. My daughter has a partner that I don't approve of? Then the partner must be manipulating them! In this scenario the daughter has absolutely no agency in the mothers eyes, she's just an idiot who exists to be manipulated by the forces of the world. In the mother's eyes rhe daughter needs to be manipulated by the "Correct" forces, her.
17:08 when you're 7 and you and your peers can't even read yet, your name gets shortened whether you like it or not. I still grieve for the poor Filipino kid in our class named "Melchizedek", after the old testament king of Salem. It was 5 syllables and we couldn't pronounce it at all. You want to take a wild guess what we shortened it to? Melchi. Pronounced "Milky". No one liked it. It was a bad time for all.
Bro I felt physically sick hearing what some of these “parents” were saying
Sure you're not just sick bc of vomiting up ennard, "Normal Human" ?
(Lmao nice to see a fnaf pfp,hi micheal)
@@latileaf260 no that’s good ‘ol “Normal Human” Mikey A! That would never be the case
7:43 idk why, but this little bit you added made me feel so happy. I haven’t really had the most accepting parents, and im really stressed lately, so thanks for being so accepting 1t. Your videos help me so much.
20:20 so i think this problem is appropriate to deal with (kids wasting shampoo and body wash as bubble bath) it’s a problem a lot of parents have to deal with,
i think the best thing to do is to keep the problem relevant to what they’re doing (relating it to money isn’t gonna teach them shit) so maybe giving each kid a single bottle of shampoo conditioner and body wash for like a month or 6 weeks and telling them they can’t get a new one even if they emptied till the end of the month, so they would know not to waste it (also they have to be reminded of the consequence) so they can learn the right lesson and not that they’re parent is untrustworthy or doesn’t care abt them
maybe even giving them a bubble bath if they didn’t finish it at the end of the month as a reward for their responsibility!
Honestly I do really enjoy the wholesome TikTok‘s at the end especially because this is sub can be pretty triggering. Having something to ground us at the end and remind us that there are good people in the world is very nice thanks OT
18:10
Post: "only candles and type writers"
OneTopic:"how did you send this?"
Me typing this on my sifi typewriter with lights
"Bubble bath at the dollar store is like a dollar"
Wow a heart!