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Amazing episode, great insight from these two! -JF

She s nuts I would never spend any time with a man who says I don t love you

Does it get better? Did you ever love again? <3

One of your best videos, so truthful, painfully honest. Thank you. Really thank you.

The Doggie is adorable 🥹

Thank you Jillian, I can't wait to download your book on Audible. I'm learning (and relearning) a lot from you about how and why I feel the way I do. I took time out (6yrs) from dating to work on myself and focus on my career as an actor. I am now in a relationship with a woman who has undiagnosed (but strongly suspected) ADHD. She's more avoidant leaning and I lean more towards anxious. We are experienceing communication challenges which is frustrating so soon into the relationship. Do you have any experience or advice around navigating ADHD in relationships? Thank you for all that you do to help people to learn, grow and be self loving and secure. 💜

I really enjoy hearing peoples stories, it makes me feel seen and not alone and I definitely can relate to their stories

I like the topic, BUT why are there so many sponsored ads in a single video? I pay for TH-cam Premium to avoid them, but I’m still okay with one or two included. I was listening to this during my workout and couldn’t fast forward when it played for the fourth time-it got really annoying I just stopped listening . I understand that creators need to be paid, but maybe you could offer a paid membership/ courses or something else for more valuable information.

Hi Jillian, Grateful if you could make a video on how to understand the difference in pursuing someone to let them know we are interested in getting to know them for long term relationship versus chasing someone. How to self assess this in ourself?

You are right.

It takes courage to let go, but it is worth going through the short-term pain.

True But I was wondering instead of being one, why not both? Like knowing when you should be a black cat and then know when to be a golden retriever that's like trusting your intuition.

Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.

🌈☀️ this is a fact for sure ! It's wise to never try to manipulate and definitely don't beg LOL better to be authentic and be yourself and allow things to take their natural course. If both people have a healthy mindset and have a lot in common then it is usually a good fit and works out on its own. And likewise for the opposite scenario, if it's not a good fit and not working out then you try to peacefully depart and realize there's no shortage of humans running around on this planet lol.❤

I needed to hear this today. Thank you !

It's truly horrible for both people if one person doesn't let it just happen..

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Very useful thanks ❤

🌈☀️🎶🎶 It is a Fact . Like the song Sting wrote . . . " If you love someone . . . Set them free " Keep doing what you're doing Jillian , you're AWESOME helping so many! ❤ I swear we'll have coffee and chat someday lol ! ☀️ Make it a great week !

I believe that when someone makes a mistake with you twice it shows that this is a pattern. And patterns require a lot of self-awareness and inner work to not repeat. But the thing is that not everybody is willing to do this inner work or is conscious that it has to be done. We need to be careful with that.

Letting go is a process. There is also a point that when you're done, you're done.

Just finished the book, loved it - gave it a 5 star review on amazon and tictok - pretty please do a video or series on ending codependency and bad patterns

Thanks for the way you break down things. I would like to send you my story. Where can I do that? Can it be written form?

Thank you Jillian🫶 I appreciate your work more than you know.

Yes🫶🏼

That dog is beautiful. What kind of dog is this?

it's so easy to get caught up in your own head, when the best decision is to leave. It only becomes clear later that it was the only right decision. After going through it a few times, it becomes very natural to let it go.

Absolutely perfect timing. Thank you Jillian. xxx

I absolutely agree with this vision of relationships. Thank you so much Jillian for the gorgeous podcast! ❤️So cute dog😍Do you have 2 dogs? 😊

Wisdom and truth❤

Everyone of us need a person like you in their life

Totally true. 🌻

I found it hard and not normal to do what I did.. not the norm for me at least… and I still sometimes think whether I shouldn’t have been so rash. But my ex had been - in the past month - acting more and more distant yet how she spoke to me was still okay.. not 💯 normal now that I think about it but still… if you didn’t pay attention, you’d think.. she was just busy with the end of the year, festivities, family and friends. And that’s what I told myself but my “spidey sense” started triggering more and more as the days went by. I brought it up a few times that we were feeling distant. She said it was us being busy and maybe we cld spend more time come the new year. But the feeling, my instincts .. my anxiousness / anxiety suddenly came back - like I really think there’s something wrong. NYE came and as I am a jazz vocalist I was working but I only got a general wish from her almost an hour after the clock striked midnight - yes I cld have wished her first or given her a call but I was performing and we were both aware of the circumstances… I was hurt but didn’t say anything about it. But I woke up really down on new year day and sent her a long message asking for clarity. Only then I get an inkling that she’s feeling unsure about us and if anything would rather talk in person - unfortunately she’s too busy now. Major let down and more anxiousness - all sorts of things playing on in my head. I still had a gig to do that night and on the 2nd Jan - drove home balling my eyes out wondering what’s up … almost 24 hrs go by with not a peep. We’re a proper caring couple and this was just so not her. Again I could have said something first but she made it clear she was busy and had her hands full. Only close to the end he of the night did she text me and said she was still busy. Some back and forth on questioning and arguing with ensued via text as she insisted they she couldn’t meet me! I called. She said we didn’t have any chemistry. Sometimes when I asked if she liked me and she gave me a look - she meant it… suddenly so many unexpected and hurtful things came up that I was not great - I’m blindsided by now. I finally decided that she didn’t love me enough of somethings happened and she said she was confused at the moment-unsure. I really don’t know what the truth is but I told her shd cldnt put me on pause and I didn’t wanna be with someone who didn’t love me the same. We ended. We’ve not communicated in any way since. I journal workout cry sit in my pain and do all I can most days. I am devastated. I’m sad. I’m hurt. Sometimes I want to ask her why. But part of me is afraid of the answers I’ll get and part of me doesn’t wanna mess further with my already difficult healing process. I’m sad. But I’m proud I stood up for me. I wouldn’t have before. But I did. She’s been a really great partner till now -‘so it’s very confusing and disappointing but I can’t do much but to just be and try to save me. Thank you for your lessons Jillian.

You’re book brought me to tears several times. You have impacted my life , I am oh so grateful Jillian. You are a beautiful soul and thank you for your work!❤

This one was the best advice I’ve listened to all month. Thank you.

So good u

I’ve been (happily) married for 18 years and I have thoughts on this. Change is a normal part of life. Being married doesn’t mean you’ll both change at the same pace. And there will be times, especially if you have kids, when one of you will need to set yourself aside for a minute so the other can complete what they’re going through. For example, if your wife is going back to school to earn her master’s degree, that probably isn’t the best time for you to take a job in another city and expect your family to pick up their lives and move for you. Change is the natural progression of life. HOWEVER, there are times when it’s okay for you and your life to remain the same and that can be such a source of comfort. For example, if you have a job you really like, stay put. You do not have to job up every year or two for more money or a fancier title if you are happy where you are. But there are also times when change is bad because it negatively affects your spouse or your family unit. Being a husband/wife/parent means you don’t get to be selfish anymore because you chose to live your life with these other people and have their best interests at heart. There are too many examples of this to pick one, but my mind goes straight to affairs, picking up illicit hobbies, and major religious conversions.

🙂👍🏽❤☀️

Im at 10:58 rn, that last quote was powerful. Im currently not in a relationship but dealing with relationship like issues with someone that hasnt been able to communicate with me. I feel that if we did get in the relationship we would end up like the couple in your book, because i know that perhaps something i did made her become avoidant. I think i have both anxious and avoidant tendencies, and perhaps some form of avoidance from me led to her being avoidant as well. Anyways im thinking right now that the best thing to do is walk away, but a part of me doesnt want to abandon her or ghost her. She grew up in the church that ive been attending for a year now, but i also have dealt with being ostracized by that community. She on the other hand perhaps had no fault in it, but i just don’t know anymore. All i have left now is to choose myself.

Don't expect to not have to put up with differences. If want it perfect your is gonna be BIG time disappointed.

What is described as bad here isn't bad to me. I see a lot of people who want a lot of people in their lives. How are all these people finding so many deep people who "go there" even within themselves, let alone with "you" plus who simultaneously want a deep relationship with "you" back, plus have time for "you" and time to get to know "you" and for you to know them? As for me, I want to give and want to receive in a partnership the opposite of what advice you're giving here, and to share in a partnership what you think is "bad." Plus, a close, personal relationships with God and our children.

🐈‍⬛ the black cat technique LOL I listened to your video describing black cat Golden Retriever scenario. This happens quite often for many in the world. Not something I personally care for and I don't think it's a healthy way for a guy to be a golden retriever lol. Unless knowingly he wants to be and chooses to be. Anyway the black cat behavior is simply a form of psychological manipulation, myself personally, black cat behavior or any other type of psychological games are a turn off and no-go for me. MyRadar picks up on most psychological games very quickly, early on and I don't play. Depending on what it is I may give them a chance to change and stop the nonsense, like a couple days LOL but no typically if I sense any sort of psychological mind games I'm very quick to walk away and stay away. There's no shortage of people in this world to get to know and I value my time more than that to waste it on playing games LOL

So true , before I blame myself for the time I spent in a relationship to see the partner is right or not !!!! But now I know that there is no other short way for this , knowing each other needs time , and if we understand that we are not a good match we should move on despite of the time and energy we put there

Capitalism maintains this narrative really well. It’s challenging to work 40-60 hours a week, raise children, run errands, take care of my body, go to therapy, maintain friendships, sleep 7-8 hours a night, enjoy hobbies and nurture a deep romantic partnership. So one or two people become our everything.

This is one of the most brilliant podcasts I've ever heard

I just found you. Loved this video! Thank you! I will share it with my son.😊

👏👏👏👏

I really appreciate Valeria’s saying, “I don’t have an answer”. As a man, when a woman says “I don’t know” she usually knows how she feels but doesn’t want to say. Again, usually. Yet saying, “I don’t have an answer” is what sits in the box in the male brain when we don’t know. Maybe it’s her Russian roots, maybe it’s just her, but I point it out because it’s an answer men can receive and process. As always, honesty and sincerity are required. Without that your answer would be manipulative. Great interview Jillian!!! Awesome to hear from Valeria.

I love listening to Jillian, her voice is so calming and reassuring. It makes me reflect positively about my struggles , and hopeful that everything will work out . Experience Pain can be transformative that’s for sure .

Thank you so much for this video