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Oh I am so sorry. Yeah, anyone who grew up with abusive parents (emotionally and/or physically abusive) are usually always hoping that these people change. But unfortunately, that is not normally the case. My mom didn't change at all, in fact if anything, it got worse as she got older. You can't change them, but you can help yourself. I strongly recommend that you get some counseling to help you in your specific situation and of course, joining a support group of family caregivers can also help. Believe me, you are not the only person this is happening to. You are not alone in this struggle.

Wise words and great tips, thank you for sharing. It's sooo much harder to do these things when the person is older, in part because change is so much harder for them and your life is busy at that time. Sending you good wishes as you help your mom!

Thanks for sharing. You started training at 8 weeks? I don’t even see myself doing physical therapy yet, and I’m 5 weeks from my fall. Hard to imagine sometimes for me. I’m starting only some pendulum and passive movements. Pain is less but still present

I'm so sorry! Yes, I would say that it takes a full year to get back to about 85-90 percent (at least it did for me). I was probably at 60 percent around 6 months and it slowly improved after that. And it is sooo much harder when you don't have someone to help you. Sending hugs and good wishes!

The physical therapist will start you slowly, but I understand why it seems impossible right now. I had the hardest time just taking the sling off and doing the pendulum swings at 5 weeks. You'll see a difference by 8 weeks, but will still have to take things slow. Hang in there! Sending you good wishes for your recovery!

@@elsavaldivia1602 yes but I started slowly. I was thinking the same, the recovery will take a long time, and it does. I am not yet fully recovered. I wish you good luck and the best recovery.

I'm glad it has helped!

You are so right!

I hope it helps. Thanks for watching!

My pleasure and thank you for your comment.

Oh thank you so much for the comment. Wow, 105!! What an amazing feat. I hope that she is happy and doing well. How wonderful for the family to video the visits and stories, I hope as well. It's easy to forget, I think, that seniors have so many great experiences in their life and we can all learn from them. We just have to take the time to do it. Thanks again!!

So sorry about the issues that you are having but it does sound like a walk in bathtub would be the best option for you if you really want to take baths vs showers. I would strongly recommend that you look for an aging in place specialist in your area to give you a consultation as to what can be done in your bathtub area and if they recommend a walk in bathtub.

If you have some lingering weakness after your stroke, it's really not safe for you to take a bath. A shower would be a better choice. If your shower is the type that is combined with a bathtub, though, that changes things. In that case, we recommend using a tub transfer bench for support. Sit on the bench, swing your legs over the tub edge, and use your strong arm to stabilize yourself. Alternatively, a bath chair or practicing with an occupational therapist can help improve your safety. Here's an Amazon link to a transfer bench so you can see what they look like and how they work: amzn.to/3PmWEGv

I'm glad you found it helpful. Thanks for watching and Happy New Year!

Yes, you really have to just wait it out through the healing process. Good luck!

Oh thanks for the comment and for watching. I'm SO very glad that my video was helpful for you!

So sorry that you are having to live with all of this. I agree, the "system" has been broken for many decades and I'm honestly not sure what "system" actually works. And believe me, as someone who has worked in the health care system for years, I can tell you that health care providers hate it (and fear it) as much as you do. The USA consistently ranks near the bottom amongst developed countries when it comes to health care services for it's citizens. My personal thought on this is that in the US, health care is a business. The purpose of any business is to make a profit, to make money. So, that supersedes anything else, including the welfare and care of the patient. Most health care providers, in order to work, have to work for a company and as such are held bound by the rules of the company whose goal is to, like any business, make money. Other countries do not follow this. As a result, they DO have to tax their citizens more in order to earn the money to pay for services BUT, they also charge much less and health care providers in other countries don't necessarily make as much as the health care providers in the US. So, there are downsides as well but in the end, the services to the citizens are mostly better. Nothing is perfect but the system here is definitely not great. In my honest opinion, nothing will change until you take the "business" out of healthcare. As long as it's run like a business, like a private entity, the primary goal will always be to make a profit. Does anyone else have a thought on this?

Oh yes, that's a great tip, thank you!!!

It is sometimes used to remove oil and grease stains.

People with dementia typically will settle into a new place over time - but the transition can be very upsetting and confusing for them. You are right, the effective support is to try to neutralize their distress as much as possible by how we engage with them and the steps we can take to make the move easier for them.

@@SeniorSafetyAdvice i worked in a memory care center center for years and with a single client for a year and a half before that. also my grandmother had dementia. i can say a significant number of their population don't settle and the only alleviation of their symptoms comes from the psychological awareness and skillset of the day-to-day care provider, in the case of a facility, that being the staff

In my 12 years of working with seniors with dementia I have seen many who have "settled" into their new environment but have certainly seen some who have not. I was never sure if it was the stage of dementia that they were in when they came in that determined that outcome, or if it just was the personality of the person. I mean if someone was the type of person who was always in control of things, then the dementia could certainly exaggerate that. I call it the "moreso disease". However you are when you are younger, you're only moreso when you are older. (Just my theory!) But I agree with you 1000% that the day-to-day care providers in facilities caring for older adults, dementia diagnosis or not, are to be praised and honored for the very, very hard work that they do.

@@SeniorSafetyAdvice for sure! i think a lot of it is just as simple as each individual's mind's reaction to the onset. some impaired individuals are easier than others, more cooperative. some more contentious. we had some people who simply could not live in a communal setting, which is what memory care is at the end of the day. if a person can integrate with support, they can stay there successfully. maybe they need a personalized caregiver beyond the typical duties of the care crew. otherwise, the family will be asked to remove them from the home/facility

Yes, those situations do happen, for sure. Just goes to show how important it is for all of us to take care of our own mental health and be grateful for all that we have in our lives. That mindset can truly help when the body and mind grow older. Thanks for your insights and sage advice.

Glad you like them!

You are welcome! And Happy Holidays!

Been there, done that! I got help from a counselor on how to set boundaries and how to just let go of as much as I could. Caregiving is not a one person project (sometimes not even a one family project). Get help and make yourself the number one priority in caregiving. Join a support group, contact local agencies, talk to friends and family members, reach out to everyone for information and help.

@@SeniorSafetyAdvice It seems no help. Social services are poor in the Hungarian countryside. Local agencies does not exist, and they do not care elderly people and normal people eighter. Friends cannot tell me anything, and I do not have family members. The nanny ruined my relationship with my anties. I reached out a lot, and still alone and feel desperate. Hard to work even.

Oh I am so sorry you are going through this. Please do your very best to distance yourself from the emotional trauma this person is giving you. Usually, it's just an the way they have always been (only now it's worse) or, it's part of their dementia or cognitive decline. Either way, they are not going to change so to save yourself, you are the one that has to change. That means, changing your perspective about them. If you consider that they might be in pain (emotional pain) then you can feel sorry for them. Most anyone who lashes out at others is in emotional pain of some kind. Feeling sorry for that person can help you to not take the words and actions they take so personally. I hope that helps.

You're welcome, I'm glad we could help!

I'm not sure what you are asking about? Where to get a cane? You can find them at any drug store, Walmart, or on Amazon. If you are referring to the stair step cane, you can also find those at Walmart or on Amazon. I hope this helps. :)

I'm so sorry you've joined "the club", but glad that my video has helped. Hang in there! It is a longgggg road to recovery (months), but you will get there! I am now 4 years after my fracture and am back to 100%. But I was probably still at only 80% at the end of the first year. I was 61 when I broke my shoulder - if you are younger, I am sure you will heal quicker. Physical therapy will help a lot (do your exercises at home, too). Good luck!

@ same age. 🙏🏻 Thanks!

You're welcome. Wishing you a quick recovery!

Yes, that is definitely a concern. In that case, you could either invest in a lifting device, such as the GoRise LT Portable Floor and Bath Lift (amazon link: amzn.to/4giMEtK), but other than that, you would have to have family or friends nearby who could help you get him up again (or call emergency responders for assistance).

I'm so sorry! It's an awful disease, both for the person, and for their loved ones who must watch their decline. Sending hugs!

You're welcome!

Yes, those are very handy! And these days there are so many different kinds. Bathing Wipes - amzn.to/49toDO7 No Rinse Bathing Wipes - amzn.to/4f5LrEG Moisturizing Bathing Wipes - amzn.to/3VvLL8D Xtra Thick Bathing Wipes - amzn.to/3ZiHuGE Deodorant Bathing Wipes - amzn.to/4facCy9

If someone can't get up on their knees, they really shouldn't be taking a bath because it's not safe for them (they should be taking a shower instead). Thanks for watching!

Absolutely!!!! I couldn't agree with you more. Thank you so much for contributing to this very important topic.

I'm glad it helped. Happy holidays!

Oh I am sorry. And yes, dementia, Alzheimer's, any form of cognitive decline is much, much harder on the family in the long run. That's why it's so important to look at memory care units where these seniors who have this disease can be taken care of - and - the family can keep their sanity. Hopefully you have a good one nearby that you can consider looking into. Take care.

@@SeniorSafetyAdvice with lewis bodies she is having elaborate persecution delusions she told me that there was 7 men in the building trying to kill everyone and a transfer of property and someone is trying to steal the property from the care home I work for she said all the computers are tapped and She would not get out of this tub Her power of attorney came to get her out and she said everybody was after her at the care home she was crying because of her behavior she kicked me trying to sleep on the couch and said there were people coming in and out of her closet all her caregiver tell her she is safe she was banging on the glass window with a cane hid scissors this is beyond just alztimers she almost behaves like my scezophrenic brother i even taped the building on my phone to show her that nobody was in the building My problem is that she is making it difficult for the people to care for her with this behavior she is mean and dangerous at times what should we do?

What you're describing is consistent with the visual hallucinations and paranoid delusions that are hallmark symptoms of LBD (Lewy Body Dementia). Unlike Alzheimer's disease, LBD often presents with more pronounced psychiatric symptoms and can indeed seem similar to schizophrenia at times. The key difference is that these symptoms are caused by the presence of abnormal protein deposits (Lewy bodies) in the brain. First and foremost I want to stress how important it is for you and your family to consider a memory care unit, especially one that specializes in or has a lot of experience with LBD. Unfortunately, like any form of dementia, symptoms and the condition only get worse as time goes by and it may become unsafe for her and for you and your family to care for her. Speak with a geriatric care manager who can help you find the best place for her. Also, if you haven't yet joined a support group for families with loved ones suffering from LBD, please do so. Here's a link to find some local ones - www.lbda.org/local-support-groups/ and if you prefer or need an online support group - www.brainsupportnetwork.org/support-group/virtual-groups/ Here are some evidence-based approaches that may be effective: Work with her physician to review medications, as some can worsen hallucinations and behavioral symptoms. Sometimes anti-psychotic medications are prescribed, but they must be used with extreme caution in LBD. Document patterns: What time of day do these behaviors occur? Are there specific triggers? This information is valuable for developing preventive strategies. Discuss these with her doctor. Never argue with or try to disprove the delusions. To her, these threats feel absolutely real. Showing videos or trying to prove she's wrong often increases agitation and distrust. Instead, validate her emotional experience while providing reassurance: "I can see how scared you are. I'm here to help keep you safe." Consider environmental modifications: Ensure adequate lighting to reduce shadows that might trigger hallucinations Remove or cover mirrors if they're causing distress Create a simplified, clutter-free environment Establish consistent daily routines to provide predictability For the immediate safety concerns: Ensure all potentially dangerous items are secured Implement a behavioral monitoring system Consider having additional staff present during high-risk periods Develop a crisis intervention plan with the care team Remember, her behaviors are symptoms of her disease, not intentional actions. With the right approach and support, many residents with LBD can achieve better symptom management.

Glad it was helpful!

Honestly, your best bet is to call 911 to get the fire department out to help the person up. They can do it safely and without injury to the person who has fallen. That said, Medicare will often pay for a lifting device if it is prescribed by a doctor. It is considered Durable Medical Equipment and you must get the device from a medical supply store that participates in Medicare. More info here: www.medicare.gov/coverage/patient-lifts. If you really want to have a device on hand, I would also tell you to look at Amazon. For example, here's a link to an electric chair lift for around $400 (amzn.to/4i2nSiI). Keep in mind that, while lifting cushions can be helpful, the person needs to be sitting in the center of them so they don't slide off as the device is lifting them. And they need to be able to maneuver themselves to a standing position once they get to the top height the cushion can lift them (but this can be sort of like trying to get off of one of those big exercise balls, because you move around on them so much!) . Some frail seniors may not be able to do that without a lot of help. Good luck!

How about replicating the same steps but using pillows underneath the knees to act as support? Do you think that would be a feasible alternative?

Great idea!

It can be frustrating, certainly. It is always difficult dealing with mental health issues as well as cognitive decline, and it's difficult to understand too.

I'm sorry you are having such challenges! Sadly, people don't understand these concerns until they reach their older years. I know that doesn't help, but I wish you the best of luck!

Absolutely!

Oh, thanks for sharing!!! I was not aware of that.

It sounds like you're facing a deeply challenging situation, and I’m truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're experiencing. While I’m not a legal or financial expert, I can offer some suggestions that might help you find support, even in your current circumstances. You mentioned that pro bono attorneys in your area do not accept elder care cases. However, there are other resources for free or low-cost legal help specifically for seniors: 1. Legal Services for Older Americans (acl.gov/programs/legal-help/legal-services-elderly-program): This program provides free legal assistance to older adults with economic or social needs. They can help with issues like Social Security, Medicaid, and drafting powers of attorney. You can find more information through your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) or by contacting the Elder Helpline at 1-800-262-2243 2. Aging and Disability Resource Centers (ADRCs): These centers provide unbiased information and can help you navigate available programs, including legal services. They are part of the "No Wrong Door" system, which helps people access long-term services and supports. 3. Since you're struggling with basic needs and have no monetary income, there are several programs that might offer some help. First, if you lost your SSI due to an error, it's important to appeal that decision. Legal aid organizations like the Legal Services for Older Americans I mentioned before can assist with this process. You already have food stamps (SNAP), but also consider programs like the Commodity Supplemental Food Program (CSFP), which provides monthly food packages to low-income seniors. Also, look at Meals on Wheels to help supplement your meals. You could explore the Housing and Urban Development (HUD) programs that offer support for low-income seniors, including subsidized housing options. They may also be able to help you relocate to a safer area/neighborhood. Your situation is incredibly tough, but there are organizations dedicated to helping seniors in need. Start by contacting the Elder Helpline or ADRC to get connected with resources tailored to your circumstances. I hope you find the support you need soon.

Not all low thyroid shows up in blood tests. Research this.

Yes, that is true. I would discuss it with your doctor.

Infused with goat milk? Thanks for the tip. I had no idea of the benefits of goat milk! Here's a link - amzn.to/3OdaUkI Just FYI for everyone here - this is what I found out about that topic. Goat milk is a standout ingredient in skincare due to its numerous benefits, particularly for sensitive or dry skin. Here are the key advantages: Rich in Vitamins and Minerals: Goat milk contains vitamins A, B6, B12, and E, along with minerals like selenium, which are essential for maintaining healthy skin. Vitamin A helps promote skin cell turnover, reducing signs of aging. Natural Moisturizing Properties: It is high in fatty acids and triglycerides, which help to hydrate and repair the skin barrier. These lipids are similar to those found in human skin, making goat milk particularly nourishing. Gentle Exfoliation: The presence of lactic acid, a natural alpha hydroxy acid (AHA), gently exfoliates by removing dead skin cells, promoting a brighter and smoother complexion. Soothing and Anti-Inflammatory: Goat milk’s natural properties help calm irritation and reduce inflammation, making it ideal for conditions like eczema, rosacea, and psoriasis. Supports Skin Microbiome: Goat milk contains probiotics that can support the skin's natural microbiome, promoting balance and reducing sensitivity. These benefits make goat milk a favored ingredient in skincare products, particularly those formulated for gentle cleansing and hydration

Absolutely!!

So sorry about your experiences and that is exactly why I recommend adaptive items like a chair or bench in the shower/tub, hand held shower head, grab bars, non-slip flooring, wall mounted shampoo and body wash dispenser, etc. Oh and don't ever forget some type of alert device. Either an Alexa device or a medical alert device so that you can call for help if needed. Those items are not for show - they are vital in helping someone to stay as independent and healthy for as long as possible. I fell almost 10 years ago and severely bruised my left hip. To this day I still have some pain in that hip so I know how difficult it is to get rid of those deep muscle aches. I do hope that you can equip your shower/tub with the tools needed to help keep you safe and at home! Take care.

You're welcome 😊

Ugh, I'm sorry you had to join our "club." Being alone would make it so much more difficult. Hopefully a nearby friend or neighbor can help out? Wishing you a quick and uneventful recovery!

Not even a sponge bath?

Hmm, isn't that what I said at the beginning of this video? Daily showers are not medically necessary so the point being no need to argue with someone (especially if they have dementia) about showering every day.

Hmm, not quite sure how to reply to this!