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Thank you so much! I always forget that I'm not the only person who deals with this. A lot of people only take to the internet to share their successes, but it's been eye-opening to see how many people can relate. I'm trying to remember that the writing community is really big and there's a lot of us in different stages of it, and all of us are here because we love writing. I'm ready to find my love for it again! Thanks again! 💖

THANK YOU! 💖It's so easy for me to get caught up in the negative feelings, that I forget that it's not all negative--I'm still creating and I still have so much time to succeed, even if that success doesn't look the way I think it will. Thank you again, I appreciate it!

Thank you so much, you're so right! I don't know why I have such a fatalistic view of writing and publishing, but I think it's a good idea to take a deep breath and, like you said, just write something fun. Thank you! 💖

Wow, thank you so much! You've hit the nail on the head, really. I always seem to forget that when I see the success stories on the internet, they're carefully curated and that I'm not seeing the other side of it. I don't know why I let myself feel like there's a ticking clock on my success, but I think you're right--this is the path I need to go down for now and I need to rediscover my passion. Thank you! 💖

True! It's too easy for me to get caught up in the negative feelings, and I often forget that I'm not alone in my journey--that the community is so big and we're all in different stages of it with different goals. I just need to remember to breathe. Thank you!! 💖

Thank you!! I'm not sure why I was so attached to the idea of "I NEED to publish" because I have a good job that supports me, and I still have enough free time to pursue creative things, and I should really acknowledge how lucky and grateful I am to be in this position. And like you, writing used to be something I did for fun and because I just enjoyed the act of it, but ever since I became obsessed with publishing, it makes it hard to enjoy it like I used to. So I think you're so right! I need to get back to just doing it because I love it and have fun with it. If I publish, cool, if not, it's not the end of the world! Thanks again! 💖

Thank you!! I appreciate it! 💖 It's been so nice to see how many people can relate. And I'll definitely check them out!

THANK YOU 💖I think my biggest problem is just comparing myself to others and that's what I'm really going to try to work on. I have to remember that the writing community is huge and we're all at different stages in it, and that's okay. Thank you again!!

AH thank you! 💖I'm realizing that I'm not alone in how I'm feeling and that there's no need to be so hard on myself.

THANK YOU! 💖💖I think I let myself get caught up in the tradpub side of authortube, too, where that's everyone's goal and I was watching so many videos about querying and getting ready for tradpub, and I let myself get sucked into the stress of it all. I wish I had the heart for tradpub, but I think more and more I'm realizing that that's just not me. And hopefully soon I'll come fully to grips with the fact that that's totally okay lol. I really appreciate you and you inspire me!

I used to never shelve projects, and I'm realizing now that that was probably to my detriment. I think we're being smart by making that choice, because no one's ever going to want to read something we forced ourselves to write. Thank you! I was fortunately able to put a lot of the vet expenses on a credit card so I can pay it off a little more slowly, but it really is so much. 😭 And double thank you! It was a gift from my brother and FNAF is one of those things that other people consider cringe but I'm gonna wear it with pride! 😂But I really appreciate it! It's so easy to get caught up in all the people who are fresh-faced and succeeding in their twenties that I forget it's never too late. All we can do is keep at our passion!

Ugh, you're so right. I love the internet, but it's made it so easy to find people to compare yourself too--and like you said, hustle culture is definitely a big part of it. It does feel like sometimes I've forgotten that I can just be creative and do creative things for fun--I've played around with polymer clay and digital art and it's always in the back of my mind that I need to get good enough to make money, and that just ruins everything. I have to remember that it's okay to just create for the love of it--god knows that's how I got into writing in the first place. Thank you so much, I really appreciate your kind words--and the reminder that writing isn't publishing. I don't have to write to publish, and I don't have to publish to be a writer. Thank you! 💖

UGH I'm going to cry, thank you so much!! 💖💖💖I have the worst habit of comparing myself to others, but you're right about us being able to take our time and actually listen to our intuitions when it comes to our stories. I can't even imagine the stress of being on a "traditional" deadline and locked into certain promises. Thank you!

AH thank you!! I really appreciate it. 💖💖💖 I always try to remind myself that comparison is the thief to joy, but I feel like it's just human nature for us to compare ourselves to others--especially with a community as big and active as a writing community. But I really do have to remind myself that all of us are at different stages in our writing lives. Thank you so much!!

Thank YOU! I always get embarrassed after I share something like this, but then I'm always surprised to find out that a lot of people actually know exactly what I'm going through. It's been a bit of a relief to see so many people relating, honestly! 💖💖💖

Thank you so much! It seems like people who do stuff like this, filming vlogs and stuff, we get in our own heads because we feel like we should only share the good stuff, because that's what everyone else shares, and then it's like this endless cycle of everyone just biting back their doubts and insecurities. It's been eye opening to share this and see how many people relate!

😭😭😭 Oh my god, you're the best. 💖

Ahh thank you!! 💖💖

@@kaylolli Oh my god. This is so sweet, thank you! I’ve actually been struggling with writing and inspiration since I posted this vlog, so I’ve been on an unintended hiatus while I try to get my mojo back. 😭 I think I’m finally coming around, so hopefully I’ll be back to vlogging soon! Thank you again for reaching out!! 💖💖💖

@@zoeymathis “Money doesn’t buy happiness.” Maybe not, but it’ll buy me a pool! 😂

@@DavidLindes Thank you so much! Once I got diagnosed and had an answer for why I am the way I am, it was so much easier to be patient with myself. I wear my late bloomer badge with pride!

@@aprilkayauthor cool. Did you embroider it yourself?? ;) ;) ;) (I'm 99% kidding, but the 1% thinks that would be really cool to do.)

@@DavidLindes LOL I don't know how to embroider but I have been getting into punch needling, so mayyyybe. 🤔

@@aprilkayauthor coool! And yeah, I'd not heard of punch needling before, but I just looked it up, and it seems like embroidery-light, so, it could happen! :D

@@thathollyking It is!! I only just got it last month, it was my dream tattoo forever! 😭💖

@@SDHegyes I usually like to use Romancing the Beat from Gwen Hayes, but Nell’s is so much simpler and easier to work with sometimes. Lol yeah it’s rough sometimes! When I’m really busy with work, I tend to put on documentaries or video essays that I don’t have to pay too much attention to, so all the writing vlogs I want to watch have fallen to the back burner because I want to be able to pay more attention to them ugh. And like you said, sometimes I just want to listen to music instead-especially when EPIC exists! I’m so addicted! Oh weird! Everything I’ve heard is that Dark was planned for three seasons from the beginning, and the ending definitely feels definitive to me. There was another show though, 1899, I think it’s called from the same creators, and that got cancelled after season one. I haven’t watched it yet, I’m too scared it’ll be really good and leave me wanting lol. Yes! I feel like even when a story has people who don’t want children, it always ends with them changing their mind and realizing kids complete them actually, and I don’t hate children in the least, and for some characters, I’m happy to read that happy ending. But when it’s every single happy ending it’s just like, come on. Give us something new lol. Thank you SO much!! 💖

Whenever someone asks what my hobbies are, I'm always like, "oh, I'm boring, I don't have many hobbies," but then when it comes time to decide what to do with my free time, suddenly I have too many things I want to do lol. There's just not enough hours in the day! I think with some time away from Romulus, I like it a little more, but I still feel like something was just missing for me. 😩 The aesthetic and special effects and music were on point though! I think sometimes it makes sense for certain characters to end up having a baby in the epilogue, and I'm totally fine when that happens! Like if a character has already made it clear they want a married-with-children happy ending, or it's a big epiphany they have that makes sense for them, I'm fine with that. But sometimes, especially in shorter romances, it kind of just feels like the author didn't know how else to end it and got caught in that trap.

I never would have even thought to do it if I hadn't seen them on Becca Tobar's Alphasmart. I was like, 'wait, they make these?' So far, game changer! 😂 Thank you so much! It's definitely so easy to get caught up in the post, post, post mindset, and I thought I'd jump right back into it after this vlog, but I've actually been letting myself chill since posting this one lol. Probably a good idea! But ugh yeah, I agree that commenting can be too much sometimes! It's just hard to come up with stuff to say that feels meaningful, or to put your thoughts into legible words at all. I really appreciate you, thank you so much! 💖

@@aprilkayauthor100%! I’ll be here for whenever it is that your next video drops. In the meantime, I’ve returned to this one because I think you’ve inspired me to write my first romance-as a short romance, nonetheless. I’ve always been afraid of writing in the romance genre, because I’m ace, so I don’t know if I can write relatable, enjoyable romance stories. But truth be told, I have always been a sucker for romantic stories, and I do have my favorite tropes. It doesn’t matter that I’m ace. And beat cheat formulas exist for a reason. I’m writing a different short this month, in the fantasy genre, but as soon as I’m done with that project, I’m going to start planning this one. It’ll probably still be fantastic, but fantasy romance. 💕 Anyway, thanks for the inspiration!!

Oh thank you!! 💖Past me might have tried to encourage you to just go for the fun thing, even with no ideas--ideas can totally come later--buuuut I think current me has finally realized the importance of actually following through and finishing things lol. But! After a draft, they always you should take a break from it so you can come back with fresh eyes, and that's the perfect time to play around with new fun projects!

Ah thank you so much! 💖 I feel the same way, I love having longer videos to just throw on and feel like I'm doing things with a friend.

I LOVE THEM! When I was trying to figure out where to put them on the Neo itself, I was like, "oh, this is already lifted, this probably won't make much difference." But I'm happy to be wrong, because it's been a game changer lol. Thank you! I love shorter projects in theory because you don't need to worry about as many beats or subplots, but in practice... I have the same problem ugh. I usually set out to write short stories and like you, they just morph into full-on novels and it's like, oh okay, guess we're doing this now. 😂

Oh nice! Glad I could be of service! 😜 And thank you!! 💖

@@magicblue1192 Exactlyyyy. The prevailing idea that a woman’s life is finally complete once she has children, like… no thank you. And especially when it’s been such a good book until then! It’s just a jump scare sometimes. 😮‍💨

@@aprilkayauthor Can't she have a cute anniversary (but without, "oh honey, I'm pregnant"), a garden party, or simply a vacation, that shows that they love and get each other? (My boyfriend bought me something to add to my morning muesli and put it with a cute sticky note on it on the shelf, and I was so happy when I saw it) Why must it always be like a checklist? (engaged check, married check, pregnant check, child check)

@@ninanatascha My brother and I are always just like yelling at each other like “how does he do it?!” Because this musical makes us both so emotionaaal. 😭😂 Say no more (but actually do if you feel comfortable sharing)! I’m already super interested!!

@@heathermattern RIGHT?! 🥹 When guys say women are hard to please, it’s like… are you sure about that? 😅

@@TheKoffeeVerse Thank you!! 💖 I’m always looking for more authortubers, so I’ll def check them out!

@@aprilkayauthor Thanks!!

@@ninanatascha It’s so hard! Whenever I see someone I follow or even someone I consider a friend getting to make that announcement, I immediately start comparing myself to them and spiraling. I’m always so afraid that when I congratulate them I’ll sound passive aggressive, and they’ll be able to tell how insanely jealous I am. It’s like, “I swear, I’m really, really happy for you!! I just hate myself!” 😂 So it’s really hard to balance healthy feelings about it. AHHH I’m so curious!! Whatever the idea is, you should definitely write it. God, EPIC is just so good. 😭

@@AnnaRobbinsWrites THANK YOU 😭💖 It feels like I was in the middle for so long and then suddenly I’m at the end lol. And double thank you! I spent so long trying to decide how to place it, but I love it too omg. I have to get me some Vaseline asap then because I’m at my wit’s end lmao. Self-control? We don’t know her!

@@Susmita_Sikder Oh my god, thank you SO much!! 💖 I really appreciate that, it means a lot to me! Thank you for being here!!

@@madebymalayka Lol thank you! Normal chapsticks just seem to fade too quickly and give me unfettered access to my dry skin, so I’ll definitely try some gloss instead. And double thank you!! 💖 I’m not very good at visualizing stuff like that, so I wasn’t sure how good it would look, but I’m so happy with it! 😭

@@heathermattern AHHH I hope when it sees the light of day again you like it!! 😭

@@millie9814 It’s an Alphasmart Neo 2, a word processor from around the 2000s. It really only serves the purpose of typing plain text, and it’s good for distraction-free writing, so it’s one of my favorite toys currently lol. If you’ve seen any ads for the Freewrite Traveler (or Freewrite Alpha) from Astrohaus, the Alphasmart was kind of the prototype for devices like that.

@@aprilkayauthor Wow, this is so cool! :o I probably need one, haha 🤣 And can you transfer the text somewhere?

@@millie9814 It’s definitely really neat! You just can’t find them new, you have to buy them secondhand from places like eBay. 😩 And you can! It needs a cable, I think it’s an A-B usb cable, and you plug it into your computer and there’s a little “send” button to transfer it. It DOES go one letter at a type though, so it can take a bit depending on how much you write.

@@JoeyPaulOnline Thank you so much!! 💖💖💖