1. Never thought I'd get 1k, let alone 20k views on this video. Thanks to everyone for watching/commenting. Appreciate you all. 2. The audio gets screwed up about 2/3 through the video. Gimme a break, this was my first time editing a video this size and things got a little wonky lol. 3. If you're looking for more military-related commentary or career/transition resources, check out my website: acaptainslog.com/ 4. Finally, a friend and I are working on a project to help current military & veterans transition into unconventional paths and reconnect with nature. If that sounds interesting to you, check out a preview here: free-rein.co/ Thanks again for the support.
The guard should be a serious option so that the benefits exist with a loss of retirement or medical benefits. In the end though, you gotta do what’s best for you now, not later. Eventually you’ve got to be able to cash in on your work. Otherwise what’s the point?
@@TJackSurvival for sure, some really interesting opportunities out there in the reserve component. I’ve done quite a bit of research and shared the resources I’ve found and what I’ve learned from others in other videos and articles. I think that the guard or reserves is def a great option for some people.
I did 12 years of active duty. I was turning into someone I didn't like. When I started to get irritated with my family, I knew something inside got broken. I decided to leave even though most of my peers and leadership wanted me to stay for eight more years to get my pension. They failed to realize that within that eight years, I may lose my family and my health. A price I am not willing to make. I am grateful for the military experience, but I will not play a part in the destruction of my own family. The military is a good fit for people who want structure but is terrible for people who want to be creative.
Insightful perspective and I’m glad you saw what was happening and made the choice that was right for you. I’m sure it wasn’t easy and when you’re in the thick of it, things can be confusing. Your last sentence: on point and 100% agree. And I think for me, it was simply a phase in life. I consider myself someone who appreciates the opportunity and time to be creative. But when I was in my 20s, I wanted structure. By the time I had a bit of experience and maturity, I was ready for a chapter of life characterized by more freedom and creativity. And so it was time. Thanks for watching and commenting and best wishes to you and your family.
@@freereinveterans my girl changed to the point she wasn't my girl anymore and a break up happened. I was trying to figure out if active duty gave her some mental scars and forced her to dump me out of not feeling protect3d. Anyway I join soon and look forward to atleast one contract
I am a marine struggling ,my mental health is not doing good, I am unhappy, my marriage is over, I ask myself everyday why I am here. I miss freedom, I miss traveling, I miss making my own decisions. My battalion currently has the highest suicidal rate in the whole marine corps. I am on the medical board waiting for an answer and praying god everyday. Man, this is not easy, I don’t understand how people do this for 20 years.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Really sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time. We all have them and you WILL get through it. You aren’t alone and there are people out there struggling with the very same challenges and I know it isn’t easy. I don’t get how people do it for 20 years either, man. All I can offer is to stay encouraged and do the best you can. I’m sure it’s incredibly overwhelming to feel suffocated from both a work and family perspective. Don’t wait to seek help if you need it. Lean on your friends or family who you know have your back or consider using resources through the Marine Corps to get help if you feel you don’t have anyone. Just know you aren’t alone. Start making your contingency plan if the medical board doesn’t work out and start trying to figure out what you might want to do on the other side. I find if you occupy your mind only with “leaving” or “escaping” the military, it can lead to a lot more negative emotion vs trying to also fit in ideas about what you’re escaping *to*. Yes, you’re planning to leave, but where do you want to go? That can be overwhelming too, but it also can be exciting!! Think about possibilities and start brainstorming ideas and researching. For me, that was fun and gave me something to look forward to… and it was useful. Genuinely wish you the best of luck on your journey. You’ll get there. Don’t give up!
Former soldier here, Marine. Hang in there. Once you get that DD214, it will all be worth it. The army screwed me over too in more ways than I can even count, so I know your struggle, and feel your pain. The day you get to walk off your duty station knowing you never have to return is one of the best feelings you will ever know.
Checking in. Ran by this and I am hoping all is well and you're maintaining. Need someone to talk to to listen, grab them. You're most certainly not alone. Stand to and stand strong. We do that best, together. -Semper Fidelis
You have to act and be a certain way. If you do not, you will be looked down upon, and denied for promotion and career advancement!! I was. I regretted it back then, but now, NO WAY!! I am glad now that I did not put on that immoral character to get a pat on the head by the Army!! I did not fit in!! It was time to get out after almost 9 years!!
You are wise beyond your age. As an almost 20 year veteran and Officer still serving in the Army Reserves.,the military has taken a toll on me. I was once an idealist and believed in our country and senior leadership running our nation. Now, I am just trying to hang on without losing my retirement.
Thanks for watching… really feels like I’ve just tried to put into words what a lot of people are thinking/feeling already, you know? Wishing you the best of luck as you finish out! Sounds like you’re almost there, stay encouraged!
Did 10yrs enlisted in the navy and I just got tired of faking till I make it. I hated being angry everytime I had to go to work. I was just staying through spite and anger my doc told me it was better for me mentally to stop pushing myself
I get out in 2 months!!! I’m so ready to get out of the military. It’s mentally draining from me. I’ve given so much for 6 years. It’s affected me physically, mentally and emotionally. Turning me into this monster that I don’t want to be. Day by day for over 2 years, my health has declined. I’m just not happy serving in the military anymore!!!!
Congratulations! I’m sorry your experience has generally been negative-hopefully there are also a lot of positive memories and friendships as well. Two months is the final countdown. Good luck outprocessing, enjoy your leave, and wishing you the best during your transition!
Im on the enlisted side 5 months left , but let me tell you the amount of "Energy of Peace" i found in this video i just want to say thank you for your free spirit of living, an your courage of knowing your worth.
Best of luck to you as you transition-hope everything goes well for you! So glad you found something positive in the video and thanks for letting me know 🙂
Preach! I just got out after 13 years. I thought i was going to do 20. Lost my wife to cancer and everything changed for me. Moved back closer to my family to be closer to my mother who is getting pretty old. One thing i learned from losing my late wife was that you want to have a clean conscious and know that you did what you can for those you love while they are alive. I still deal with some demons but knowing I did all I can do to the best of my abilities does bring peace. I cant imagine the guilt that comes from knowing you let that person down. Lots of people chose the military over their family. Not worth it at all. If you die someone will simply replace you in the Army thats how important we are individually to the organization.
100% agree family > military. My mom actually died of cancer while I was a West Point cadet. Fortunately, there were people who stepped in when her condition became terminal and essentially forced me to go home even though my mom told me she didn’t want me to because it would disrupt my whole timeline, I’d graduate late, etc. I went home, West Point leadership gave me an entire semester off so I could be with her, take care of things, and help my dad. I went back the next semester, graduated a semester later than all of my friends, and the whole timeline thing didn’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things. Anyway, glad I went home. The next year some TAC officers at West Point asked me to talk to a kid a few years younger than me-a plebe (freshman)-whose dad had terminal cancer and he refused to go home and be with him because he thought it would negatively impact his career etc etc. I talked with the guy for a long time and explained how there will literally be no negative impacts on your career and furthermore, none of this stuff even matters anyway. He wouldn’t budge. I don’t know if he ever ended up going home or not.
I’m currently in the Navy. Been in for 8 years and I have a year and a half left until I’m out. This video really encouraged my decision to fully get out. I have anxiety and I was scared to take the next step but I’m ready to move on and have faith. Thanks again for this powerful message!
You are welcome and I’m really glad to hear it helped. Best of luck as you finish out your time! It’s going to fly by so fast, so try to start making a plan now if you can !!😊
When you’re a leader who genuinely cares about Soldiers instead of covering your or your bosses ass…things get difficult. When you’re genuinely interested in being good vs looking good…you get punished for it. And the paperwork…my god the paperwork. The hardest thing for me was the betrayal of war. I used to believe in my country, our Army, and people. Being lied to and sent to war countless times while those sending me got rich and the people couldn’t care less was absolutely devastating to me. I was a mustang officer who spent my Soldier/NCO years on the line fighting. I went green to gold thinking I could change things from the inside…how very naive I was. Being an officer was an eye opening experience. Seeing “how the sausage is made” within our Army and prosecuting our foreign policy demonstrated to me that this was merely a microcosm of the entirety of the massive governmental apparatus and nothing I did was changing the momentum of that leviathan whatsoever. Most senior leaders were either out of touch, incompetent, or both. Disinterested in the realities on the ground, big on holding the subordinates to “legal, moral, and ethical” standards but short on delivering those standards themselves. The blood on my hands fighting unjustly is not something I can forgive my government or myself for. I wish I was stronger in my principles to have understood exactly what we were about to do before I went over the first time. Hearing “you did your duty” in the context of Iraq at this point makes me nauseous, and the fact neither our military, our government, or the people care in the least about the consequences of unleashing unjust wars made it so I could no longer serve such a corrupted institution. Just like what happened with my dad and Vietnam. My children will NEVER serve this country. This family is done with the lies and obfuscations.
Literally just saw this. May have not been able to view it before because I’ve been in other countries and there are restrictions and sometimes I got notifications that there were comments but then I couldn’t view them. Who knows. In any case, I just read this for the first time and thanks for sharing… definitely can relate to your thoughts and don’t blame you at all for feeling the way you do. For me, it’s hard to know what to think about all of it. But definitely got to a point where I was so completely over it as well. The only thing I know for sure is that for now, I don’t want to be involved. Obviously none of this is simple and things are incredibly complicated, but the best decision for me was to step away and remove myself from this situation while I still had the ability to. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this stuff… Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. And yes, oh my god the PAPERWORK!!!
I just got out on March 12th of this year. The adjustment has been so rough but my mental health has been in the gutter for so long. The leadership is completely incompetent & sociopathic and has ruined so many of our lives. And I saw some of my best friends stay in because it’s “the safe option” at the expense of being on the brink of suicide day in and day out. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Thank you for putting things into perspective. this video really helped me! #respect
I really hope you’re able to find some peace and time to do things that are important to you now that you’ve left! I didn’t have as bad of an experience as you maybe but I definitely know people who have. And it’s not uncommon. I’m sad to hear that and I know that same “safe option” sentiment I hear from people as well… I couldn’t take it anymore either! Lol. Best of luck to you as you begin to figure out your next chapter 🙏🏽
Those who say, *"I have been here 10 years, I might as well do 20 years."* are missing one crucial point - your innings will be over by the end of 20 years. My experience resonated with all the points you have listed here. I am a second-generation Army officer and am presently in the process of transitioning out after 11 years. My unsolicited reasons are: - - To gain greater autonomy over my life. - I am a product of my environment, and unfortunately, my environment hasn't promoted any growth in my personal life; in fact, it has stunted it in many ways I can't explain here. - The constant geographical move every two years with my lock, stock, and barrel has always created an inner conflict. Some say that I am not mentally tough; I tell them that I was born on a train, brought up in a truck. My Mom and my sis are wayy tougher than many serving members. - A constant worry about the next posting - where will the Army send me? I am at their mercy. - Some seniors don't like the fact that I have more experience than them in terms of travel abroad exposure. They usually have funny ways to deal with it in the office, then. - I love leading the troops, but that time and age have come and gone. I want to expose myself to the company of intelligent people who will challenge my thinking and motivate me to pursue new paths while I still have the energy to do so. Don't get me wrong, I love the Army; it has also given me a lot. But over the years, I have learned that it is not the Army that I wish it was. And it's only getting worse. I bow and thank the Army for making me who I am today; I am all gratitude. But I don't want to overstay my welcome either, and thus, become a burden on the organization. PS: Hate the paperwork and slow movement of the file for a foreign trip.
100% all of this. Somehow missed this comment earlier. Thanks for sharing all of that, I think many people can relate 🙏🏽 Hope your transition is going well.
I'm not sure if you're going to read this,but I left the military after my short time in from injuries acquired while I was serving active duty.I was always the more artistic kid growing up and hated my MOS.I am out now and following my dreams to become a lawyer.
Fellow rebel, I just got out 9 months ago from 4 yrs active Army enlisted JBLM and I felt everything about what you said. I've had to talk friends out of suicide and unfortunately lost a brother who just couldn't take it anymore because our unit kept on demanding more from us and it was NEVER good enough. The only thing I loved was my friends that became my family I made in the Army but I absolutely despise that ego fest of an organization. I'm so glad you're outta that hellhole and living a real life and you're not alone. You're a rockstar, it took guts to go against the grain and go your own way! 🤘🏽
Thanks for watching and congratulations on getting out! Hope things are going well for you… The mental toll a lot of this stuff takes on people is just sad. And I think people often feel trapped so I can see how people find themselves in a really dark place. I know about that ego fest you’re talking about! 🤣 Thanks for the love, I’m so glad I had the opportunity to GTFO and go live my own life on my own terms. I appreciate my experience and am very grateful but it was time. Best of luck as you continue navigating life and exploring the free world! 🙏🏽
So so happy to hear that. It won’t always be easy, but you are perfectly capable of living a successful, fulfilled, fun life out here. Just keep on chugging along and don’t give up! And file your VA claim and apply for your GI Bill letter of eligibility!! 🙏🏽
I get out next month. The army for me has been one hell of a chapter in my life, but for me it is hard to explain the relief I feel knowing that this chapter is almost over.
I've been enlisted for 5 years now in the ADF (Australian Defence Force/Army). All your points are so valid to me right now. One thing someone once told me was "all the good ones end up getting out". When the hierarchy laugh at your comments on leaving and insist you'll never make it on the outside. I look at them and think that's not how I want to end up. Atleast a divorce later, posting away from their family, 90% hating their lives because they're actually the ones stuck needing the Army. Realistically they're just projecting their insecurities on me, a young 26 year old. I've been working since 14, 6 different jobs before I thought this would be my last. I've had exposure to the real world. But as you know as you get older you start to view life a little different, those things that used to matter don't really matter anymore. Life is simple, we just insist on making it hard. Thank you for you video.
Thanks so much for listening and sharing your thoughts. I’ve witnessed that type of behavior too… definitely projecting insecurity. Sad that it has to be that way and those kind of leaders can’t encourage people to be their very best (whether that’s in or out of the military) and instead choose to resort to negativity and tearing other people down. Just like you said, those kind of people are what I’ve used to model what NOT to do.
Absolutely loved every minute of this video! I’m about to hit 10 years on active duty and have relentlessly pursued exiting the Army for the past two years. 2023 will be the year of liberation! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
I am so glad to hear that! Thanks for commenting and letting me know. First long video I made 😆. Congrats on 10 years and best of luck on your 2023 exit date. I hope it goes by in a flash for you and you are given the wisdom and perspective you need to make smart choices for you and your family! I know it’s not easy, so stay encouraged!
I’m so happy to hear that you could relate and thank you for watching. It was one is the first longer videos I’ve made and I put a lot of effort into it.
I remember him saying the "there are people who need the Army and people who the Army needs" great video Kayla! I spread it to a couple of my Lieutenants
I retired after 20 years in the Army as an enlisted Soldier. My quality of life and mental health is so much better after getting out. It felt like being released from prison but with a pension. I even "reclaimed" some old hobbies I had to stop or suspend while I was in due to constantly being in the field for training, TDY/school, being deployed, and daily Army activities. These hobbies have helped kept me busy and not sitting around. That included going back to school and graduating with two business degrees from Arizona State University (Go Devils!). I've kept in touch with a few friends, not many, and the rest can go to Hell. I don't want to ever see these toxic people again. I'm thankful and pround for serving but the Army changed and not for the better. Good luck to everyone here as a civilian.
I’m currently transitioning out of the AF and this video was one of the better ones talking about reasons to get out of the military. I’ve really been struggling with what I see as a wasted 3 years to live in the UK instead of just separating back then. Thank you for reinforcing why I think it’s so important for me to get out!
Wishing you the best of luck on your transition! It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. I’m sorry you’re feeling like you wasted time. I think it’s definitely east to feel that way while you’re stuck, but from my end, looking back on everything, I’m so thankful things unfolded the way they did. I hope you’re able to find peace on the outside and pursue something that’s meaningful to you!
Very well-spoken! Sounds like we both had the same unfulfilling experiences while in company command, sadly. While I’m early in the transition process, my narrative has become that I love the Army for what it could be, not for what it is and what it’s likely to remain. I’m quickly realizing just how many opportunities that there are in the civilian world, which is calming and reassuring to those of us who are repeatedly questioned as to our judgement in leaving the active military and all of the “benefits.”
Thanks for listening-and that seems like a great thought! A good way to try to maintain some perspective and not be overwhelmed my cynicism...which seems pretty common with junior officers.
Best of luck on your transition...I’ve found the same thing! It’s pretty amazing that possibilities are literally endless. It’s a completely foreign paradigm.
I am non commissioned officer in special forces (ranger ) in Greece and it’s been two years and I am only 24 and I think it was the worst decision I ever made in my life , my creativity is gone . My energy levels lower than ever , my mood , my anxiety , my mind always trips to the old days where I was working at a bar or a restaurant full of People , where is could exchange ideas and belly and be open with who I am and what I want .. all of that plus my family trying to always persuade me not to leave cause this is the best cause of economic stability and insurance .. what a joke .. right now I am considering leaving and go abroad to work at alps for winter season and from There to organise my life as with what I want and what makes me happy .. I’ve been watching many of these videos these days and yours my dear what the one I find most reasonable value in ..
Sorry to hear you’re going through a rough patch right now. And I can understand and empathize with the drain you’re feeling. I get it. If you can leave and go do something else that gives you time to think and decompress, like going abroad to work in the winter, I think it’d be healthy for you. Get some time and distance from the military so that you can actually remove all of the chaos and distractions and consider what is the best path. Hope things are going better for you and don’t give up hope! There’s definitely a lot to criticize, but I hope you’re able to find some positive things to cling to as well. I think it’s one of the best ways to stay sane. And find some positive friends who push you to be better and will pull you out of a negative rut. Stay encouraged!!!🙏🏽
Yep. 100% yes. When I retired, I was good. Had my fill, time to move on. I was pretty hard, back in those days. It only took a few days of Bacardi and Bikini's to see where I was really truly and honestly ready to go. In the end, You just outgrow it. The army has a built in flaw of stifling your personal growth, and trying to "Keep you in your place". When you outgrow it, you know in your gut that it's time to go. Between that and some of the horrible shit I'd been through, I'd had my fill, and then some.
I hear ya… thanks for sharing. And “outgrowing” it is a great way of putting it, I think. And it happens at different times for different people. Thanks for watching and enjoy your retirement!
Sis you are living my life right now. Watching your videos as I pack for my fifth deployment 😅 …when you said SATB, QTB, i nearly had a heart palpitation looool
Thanks for watching and hope the packing goes ok 🫠! Stay strong through the two hour long meetings and rehearsals for the rehearsals lol. But seriously, best wishes to you!!🙏🏽
Being in the military makes you respect true freedom. I've been in for 12 years, but I'm not leaving. I'm a medic and mission is still the same as it was when it started. I'm tired of stupid shit, but I've grown numb to a lot of it.
@@freereinveterans you're kinda not wrong. As I said before though.. I love my job and it hasn't changed. I don't like where we are going, but I choose to make it better in the small way I can I guess. I respect you leaving and usually a mil talking to a mil saying "thank you for your service" is meant to be a joke, I mean it.
I remember finding this video 3 weeks after getting out and relating so much to it. Now, 6 months later, this video allows me to look back and see how my life and views have improved. Thank you,.
I got out of active-duty Navy in 2017 after two deployments and experiencing MST. I'm so happy that I stumbled across this video. It was difficult to experience MST but to explain to my midwestern family that I don't want to do the twenty year route was difficult. I finished my BA, start my MA on Monday and am slowly finding myself and allowing myself to go on my own route. It's a daily process but I'm glad that you found something that is right for you.
Congrats on getting out and starting down a new path and I’m sorry to hear about the experiences you had. I hope you can continue to heal and grow and I can understand how it was challenging to try to explain this to your family. I think it’s hard to explain it to a lot of people. People experience life in different ways and just because they had a great military experience doesn’t mean everyone had. And on top of that, people have different priorities in life. It’s what makes the world go round 🙂. Hope your masters program is going well and best of luck to you!
I retired from the Air Force. While it all worked out for me personally, I agree with what you have said here. Especially with the "this is the way that it has always been done" statement. I am coming up on a decade of being gone and I do not miss it in any form or fashion.
I am in now and this really resonates with me. I feel like I have given everything I had to the army for a decade. Now that I need the army to help me I feel like I got left holding the bag, going on back to back deployments feeling like I am holding on by a thread, and being told, “don’t tell me that or I might have to do something.”
Glad/sad to hear you could relate. I think a lot of people end up feeling what you described. Now it just becomes a matter of what you can or should do about it. And that seems to be the more difficult part. Wishing you the best of luck as you navigate this and hope you can keep your heart and mind open to life’s other possibilities. 🙏🏽
while i made some good lifelong friends and had good and bad experiences in the Army, I realized life is short and you should enjoy your life and do what you want to do. You shouldn't be berated daily by an NCO that never seen a brown Caribbean person from NYC, and i got tired of doing the fake smile and laugh whenever bigoted jokes were tossed my way. You shouldn't have to beg or jump thru hoops for leave if you earned the days. You shouldn't overwork yourself over menial busy work like the army loves to do, oh we have a deadlined vehicle in the motorpool thats been there since desert storm. pmcs it again and again, cause they gotta check off a box on a paper that's gonna get lost anyway. Missing out on family events, kids being born, weddings, sickness, deaths, over a useless weeklong warrior stakes that means nothing. It ain't worth it. You can do better, and have a better sense of freedom, accomplishment, and make way more money on the outside. 4 and done, got out with an honorable and never looked back. Still in contact with my friends made to this day though.
So many familiar points here… There are a lot of problems and most of these you can find at any unit at any installation within any MOS. Glad you finished it out and have moved beyond it all! Sounds like you ultimately made the right decision.
I dont believe in friendship in the military unless you are Caucasian American because it's easy. Buy yeah, I learned my lesson, people say stay away from combat MOS's for a good reason, this is true. Bullies, hypocrisy, backstabbing, etc. It's just business, another job that is all.
I am about to commission as an officer. i truly hate and love the ARMY. Idk what to do to get out because I still own 3 years, but thank you for this. Everything you said was on point.
Love/hate is how it seems to be. You’ll get through it, just stay encouraged and do your best to surround yourself with positive people who push you to be better. Easier said than done and it may sound lame, but it’s a way to make the time pass and gives you the best opportunity to have a good impact on those around you. I think that’s all you can hope for!
Thank you for this video. It's refreshing to find someone that shares the same feelings as I do about the Army. It helps to lessen the doubts about leaving. I'm also an Officer getting out after 12 years and I just couldn't do 8 more. Even though I'm Guard, it gets more and more demanding and draining as you move up in rank and I'm just over it honestly. The silver lining for me is that I work as a DoD Civilian, so I'm going all in on that. I get to still support the Army, but I will have a huge increase in the quality of my life and more of my own personal time.
You are so welcome. Glad you liked it. Congrats on the 12 years and the DoD civ job. Hope you’re at least able to take advantage of some of the Army time buy-back for your retirement 🙏🏽. Either way, it sounds like a good life choice…quality of life for the win. Best of luck to you!!
All of this! I after my second enlistment I wrote myself a letter to not reenlist and personal reasons of my WHY. I don’t want the day to come in 2026 and get pressured to stay when I know deep down it’s time to move on, it will be at my 7 year mark going on 8 in the Army and need a different journey for myself by the time I hit my 30s. Hopefully I listen to my past self.
That’s a good idea… feelings change and I think we all get caught up in the moment and maybe forget the bad times and ride the good times in different phases of life and if that happens to be around the time where you’re reenlisting, well I guess you might find yourself in for a few more years 🤣. But yes, new journey in your 30s is a good way to go in my opinion!
About to leave after 7+ years myself. When people ask me why I'm leaving or what was the most frustrating part of my stay, I say it's the fact that I realized I just didn't wanna fucking be there. Thanks for the cash and emotional scars but peace out, bitches
Bye Felicia 👋🏽 Good job on following through with your decision. I think a lot of people probably don’t want to be there, and then they do nothing about it. Hope your transition goes well, and don’t forget to file your VA claim and apply for your GI Bill letter of eligibility 🙏🏽
I'm preparing to transition out soon. A few months left. Thanks for making this video. It really helped put my mind at ease. You seem like you're slowly finding your way back to yourself. That journey looks terrifying... and beautiful.
Congratulations on almost making it to the end! I’m glad you enjoyed the video, I put a lot of effort into it. And yes, everything you said is accurate. Sometimes I stop and think, oh yea, I’m still unemployed. And oh yea, I’m walking down a new path while feeling around in the dark. Intimidating and exhilarating. Double-edged sword. Without this possibility of complete failure, I don’t think I’d have the potential to truly pursue what’s meaningful to me. Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy your terminal leave!
yeah your right, I didn't suffer from any sleep issues until I joined that army. I also feel for you about having permission from everyone just to go on leave for 14 days, cant wait to get out and pursue a career that makes me hopefully happier.
Sounds familiar… too many sleep, addiction, and other issues. Wishing you the best as you figure out how to navigate the rest of you time in and make your exit plan! Stay encouraged.
It’s sad to see that the recruiting & retention dilemma is self-inflicted. Thank you for your service!! I hope you are enjoying your time as a full time civilian 🇺🇸❤️. 91B here as well..
Beautifully said. I’m also an officer (prior enlisted) and currently deployed thinking of calling it quits at 14 years. Although I’m not AD, the reserve side becomes more demanding and I’m becoming out of touch with this culture and lifestyle. I know I’ll miss wearing the uniform but it’s def a tough decision process. Seeing this video definitely came at a good time.
Appreciate the support and thanks for watching! I don’t blame you for wanting to leave… If you’re feeling even a bit unsure, there are some options where you can kind of keep a foot in the door with your commission so you maintain options. Hit me up if you want me to send you any info! Best of luck to you as you make your decision 🙏🏽
Was suppose to go into the navy on the 16th but unfortunately I got a dui felony but I feel that saved my life from becoming more miserable than it already felt. Enjoying life more and not taking anything for granted. 🙏🏼💪🏼
I’m sorry to hear that happened. We all make stupid decisions and sometimes we get caught and sometimes it can get other people killed. To me it often seems like things happen for a reason, so take this second chance you walked away with, learn from it, and go be better🙏🏽. Alcoholism is definitely a huge issue in the military in general and people (including myself) develop unhealthy dependencies on stimulants to get through the work week and then many people numb themselves during the weekend with alcohol. It’s a cultural thing and in many ways, it’s become a running joke, but bottom line, it ain’t good, that’s for damn sure. Destroys people’s health, families, careers, etc. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in bouncing back from this and moving on with a new perspective on life. Be well!
I love the ending!!! So fitting - freedom, happiness, the natural world. What you say about grad school is so shocking - I had no idea of the cost (in years). Super video - very professional, very informative!! Thank you!
Thanks for listening!! Glad you liked the ending...I thought about that one for a while 🤣. Trying to experiment creatively with making things more visually engaging so it’s not just my face talking at the camera the entire time. Yes the grad school thing is pretty appalling huh? Only a fool would sign up for that 😬🤣
@@freereinveterans Only a fool? Not necessarily. Some do like the Military service, not because they are fools, but they like the discipline that brings to their life in the Military. You seem more of a free spirit at heart that should have never got into Army. Air Force might have been a better choice for you. In the Air Force, you are more stable, less mobile, during the peace time. There are many reasons people enter military service. Some do it for the FREE education, others do it for family tradition, and some do it because they want to see the world, etc. There are multitude of reasons why people serve. Some over stay their welcome and others enjoy it for the most part. Being deployed certainly makes it a lot harder on you and the family if you have one. It certainly isn't a normal life, but one should know what they are getting into. If one thinks that it will be like in the Civilian World, then they are gravely mistaken.
@@1flash3571 Don’t disagree with any of your points. Except the Air Force part lol! The Army was ultimately the best branch for me and for where I’m headed. My MOS and duty station choices were based purely off of the probability for deployment. That was 100% the reason I joined and it was what I thought I’d do in the Army. I don’t remember if I got into it in the video but while I appreciated the relationships, camaraderie, and travel, and while I appreciate tough, difficult work, I didn’t appreciate the monotony of (from my limited perspective) redundant, repetitive meetings that took up over 60-80% of my time as a company commander; what seemed like endless PowerPoint, MS excel, forms and documents; and being perpetually mired in bureaucratic (typically nonsensical, again, just my perspective) challenges that suck the life out of you. I’m leaving the military because in my own personal experience, I unfortunately felt that I was ultimately not serving anyone but myself (with a paycheck), those soldiers and friends I was able to have a direct personal impact on, and, lastly, in many ways, a very broken system that’s inundated with a great deal of organizational dishonesty hypocrisy (speaking more to the officer corps here) and a lack of personal responsibility and accountability for leaders. I personally observed this for years as a junior leader and you can see it now at the highest levels with Afghanistan. Again, this is my personal experience and I understand that many others have had a different experience. And how I try to honestly describe my experience isn’t meant as an insult to anyone who feels differently about their experience. The last thing I wanted was something easy, stable, and predictable. But, I personally was seeking hardship, instability, and unpredictability in a way that I felt legitimately contributed to something meaningful and truly served humanity in some way. Instead, the way I got hardship, instability, and unpredictability was largely as a result of organizational bureaucracy and what I perceived to be mistakes, carelessness, or incompetence. So, I’m off to find a way to serve that is a better fit. Right now for me, that looks like a year of living out of a bag volunteering internationally following van life. So when I say “only a fool would sign up for that,” I’m not referring to someone being a fool for joining the Army. Nor am I trying to insult anyone. I’m referring to myself as the fool who signed up for a botched talent retention incentive. And I guess the point I’m trying to make is that military recruiters often take advantage of young people who are motivated and bright-eyed to offer them incentives that affect their lives 10 years down the road. I believe it’s foolish for an 18 or 22 year old to make a 10 year decision and it’s much better to take things one step at a time because it affords you much more career flexibility. Anyway, I know that went on for a while, hope that response explains a bit more of the context behind the initial comment I made! Thanks for listening.
Brit. Have 2 weeks left in uniform before I leave the Army after 8 1/2 years. This video resonates a lot, especially where it feels like you're stagnating and having your whole life managed by people who are at best apathetic and at worst simply don't care. The work's also very unfulfilling and serves no purpose at all other than to keep you busy. The harder you work and the more of an asset you make yourself, the more likely you are to have your goodwill abused. It hit the point last year where I'd just had enough of being miserable and a whipping boy for a bunch of people whose only concern is looking good to their bosses. There's no incentive anymore to continue putting literally every other part of my life (my relationships, personal goals etc) on hold for an organisation that frankly couldn't care less. Scared but also a lot more excited than I am if I would be staying in.
Thanks for the comment man, I guess you've only got a couple more days left before you're out now! Totally understand how you feel. I felt the same, and still feel that way in many ways. I also feel like there were a lot of opportunities I missed out on just because I wasn't aware they existed, which is also shitty. In any case, wishing you the best of luck with this new chapter. You'll finally be free, which is awesome and also terrifying. Stay encouraged and look for other people doing the things you want to do so you can connect with them and seek mentorship. Time to go explore and see a world full of possibilities!!
Great video! . .About 2 years after I graduated college I decided to enlist in the army (4 year contract )and not commission for a multitude of reasons, long story short flash forward to now I have 2 years left in contract and fully intend to ETS due to 90 percent of the reasons why you decided to leave, I couldn’t resonate more with everything you had to say about the army. I’ve spent a short time in, but I am already so eager to leave, no hard feelings but I want the freedom and control again. Again great video. This is my 3rd time watching it now lol
Thanks for watching and I'm glad to hear it! If you ever feel like going deeper down the rabbit hole to reaffirm your decision, here are a couple more articles I've written you might relate to: acaptainslog.com/confessions-of-a-center-of-mass-commander-reflections-on-listening-learning-to-say-no-and-being-a-joe-hugger/ acaptainslog.com/major-malfunction-part-one-predictability-is-dead/
I just joined the Army and still have 2.5 years ‘til I ETS, but I want to get out so bad. I consider myself a creative, and this kind of lifestyle just ain’t it. On the brighter side, the Army has helped me jumpstart my life here in the US, and all the frustrations I am experiencing right now has made me realize what my ideal life is - just a simple, routinary life with my family, that’s it. As long as our needs are met, I’m happy. Sigh. My life… 😌😂
I hear you, it definitely helps you get some perspective, and that’s a good thing. 2.5 years does sound like a long time but when it’s over with, it’ll feel like the time passed so quickly. Glad it’s helped you with life here in the US. That’s a great thing and you can always look back on this experience and be thankful for that, despite all the flaws. As you already know, nothing is ever perfect so you gotta take the bad with good. Wishing you the best as you finish out your time. Try to stay encouraged, do your best, and surround yourself with friends who push you to be better! You can do it 🔥
I’m still in this on the enlisted side. I don’t agree with this military life and have already dealt with toxic leadership. I just got a job switch and know that I am set for life, but it’s been really difficult to adapt cause I like my autonomy, privacy, and my own individual thinking. I’m slowly being able to work around it, hence using the regs to my advantage as my small rights when being mistreated. I hope to see more of your content because even though you were commissioned I feel very valid and hope to see more videos like this.
Sorry to hear that you’ve had negative experiences but glad that you’ve found your way to a better job where you have some more freedom…I’m sure that’s a improved your quality of life a lot. Not sure how many other military commentary videos I’ll make, but I write about this stuff and post to social media much more frequently vs videos. In any case, good luck to you and best wishes for the rest of your time in the military 🙏🏽. Thanks for watching.
Best decision to served 25 years; fully retired @ 45 years old; pension, passive income on my properties. Sacrificed early; so you can relaxed later in life concept is awesome. All the best everyone!
I went from enlisted to officer. Currently at 12, the army life does wear on you because it seems very silly when you get older and more mature. I’m hanging in there to 20-25 though
@@gtoguy3511 it does have a lot of wear and tear; and in your case at 12 years-in, just keep going one step at time. You're downhill; use it to your advantage. The ultimate goal is finish line; 20 years (pension/healthcare) = FREEDOM. Writing from Korea enroute to Japan with family; byproduct of 20+ YOS. All the best my friend!
I spent almost 30 years in the military and found it was a challenging fit. I kept saying to myself that the institution loved outside the box people who were creative and took care of their people. Like an addict I kept hoping for change. What needed to change was me. Don’t regret most of my time but appreciate all you’re saying because you’re saying it for yourself and that’s never a bad thing. Simon Senik book, The Infinite Game speaks to many of your points.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. 30 years is a very long time and it sounds like everything worked out just fine for you. No regrets here on my end either… I’m familiar with Sinek, but I haven’t heard of that specific book before!
You really put a lot of thought into your decision and that is fantastic. I know some people made a quick emotional decision to get out vs actually putting the thought into it. As a Catholic who has reverted back to my faith, I would like to add that if the military, or anything, becomes a distraction on your prayer life/relationship with God, then it is time to move on to something that will not become a consuming distraction. Unfortunately, a lot of things in the military become EXTREMELY consuming and strongly affects life outside of the uniform. I would also add that a lot of the qualities the military instills in people are absolutely great in civilian world. Like showing up on time, working hard to job completion, teamwork, not spazzing out in stressful situations…
Thanks for watching and taking the time to share your thoughts… I completely hear you on the “consuming distraction” piece. It is not easy and I think these kinds of internal conflicts manifest themselves in people in different ways. But in most cases, there’s some sort of negative impact-even if it’s not readily apparent or visible. To your second point…I’m learning that as we speak! Grateful for my experience and the lessons I was able to learn about working with others and myself.
Thank you! I got 2 more years and I feel like I’ve been fighting my way thru this contract. I try hard to be the best I can be and its not good enough. I kept getting in trouble, I kept being labeled as the bad kid, I fought to keep my place in an organization that wasn’t made for me. I looked at pictures from 3 years ago, my whole appearance went from vibrant, happy, healthy to this pale, blacken eyes ghost of a person. I love my job, and there’s people who are in who are great. They seem to be fitting in the navy mold that I can’t seem to grasp. I hate when people say it’s an “easy paycheck” bc it’s farrrrr from easy. I’m kicking and screaming to reach the finish line of my contract. hope my hard work will benefit me when I get out.
Hang in there man and keep trying. It just sounds like it's not a good fit for you, which means this will be a shorter, temporary chapter in your life. And that's ok. Keep pushing to be better, do your best, and remember at the end of the day the only thing you can control is yourself, your thoughts, and your behavior. At the end of it, hopefully you have some solid friends, some education benefits, and you can be proud that you didn't give up. Two years ain't shit--it'll be gone before you know it!
I'll never forget my first day out of the Navy, everything just felt lighter & I felt a relief in my breathing. I was burnt out bad the military, I remember the moment of clarity when I decided not to reenlist.
Agreed on that one... at least it seems like you can change it to a degree where it’s lasting or impactful on a larger scale beyond just changing/influencing individuals.
Awesome video and perspective. I’m almost exactly where you were mentally. I also run away to the woods to be free lol. Can’t wait to share my own story like this one one day.
Following here from Instagram; your words touched my heart. I never regretted joining the Army and left the organization. It made me who I am and now I am enjoying my flexibility in my career and pursuing nursing.
Well I’m glad to hear that 🙏🏽. Thanks for taking the time to listen. Glad you’re enjoying your life and seeking to challenge yourself on a different path!
Excellent video I did eight years active in the rest reserves in the U.S. Navy. I can identify with many of the feelings you stated in your video, especially the last one in which we stay in artificial environments, doing artificial work and getting paid to seemingly go into debt.. I love these things also manifest themselves and surveying society but again you’re right with civilians you can just leave not so easy in the military. I wish your journey well and I wish for you to find yourself in the niche you want to carve out for the rest of your existence Good job girl.
Thanks for your service and for commenting 🙏🏽. Weird how we can all kind of relate, huh? Appreciate the support and I’m doing really well right now! It’s been an epic journey with highs and lows but I’m loving it out here!! Best wishes to you and thanks again for watching.
@@freereinveterans thank you for your service. Yes, a lot of vets that leave the tservice say the same things you do. If I can leave you with one extra piece of advice. Consider the reserves I only did it because I was deathly afraid after I got out, I would be able to find a job one week in a month two weeks a year adds up and when you’re 60 and you qualify for retirement pension, my 2000 dollars a month does seem to come in handy for retirement purposes. all the best to you captain feel free to reach out if you need some advice or just to talk
Wow I have been in counseling & taken meds for PTSD truthfully, I'm sick of all of it. I found your sight by luck just watching you do that little dance at the end of your video is exactly what I have been wanting to do & feel the freedom that shows on your face. I really hope you have more videos coming out I find them very honest & educational they have given me some answers that I have been searching for. Thank you.
Thanks for the comment, missed it somehow and it got buried. My friend Sophie and I are planning to start posting more videos, the progress has just been slow because we’re trying to do our best with it. Hope things are getting better-hang in there!
I have 11 months left of my 6 year contract, I was dead set on wanting to do 20 years. But since I got promoted to SGT (even before that) I've started to not wanna do it anymore, makes me feel like a quitter because this was always my dream, but now I'm not sure what to do. All my higher ups think I still wanna be in but I'm not sure anymore.
Totally normal feelings and normal to feel conflicted, I think. Since you're enlisted, I'd say a break in service is manageable, much more so than it is for officers. So you have that going for you. If you want to try to experiment a bit, I would consider getting out and doing the reserves. Go to school with the GI Bill or start a new trade or career and spend some time on the outside getting your feet under yourself and exploring a bit, while still keeping a foot in the door in some part of the Reserve Component. That gives you a healthcare security blanket, you're still earning years towards retirement, and you're getting a bit of extra income. Try it out for a little bit, a few years maybe. See how you like life on the outside. Do you miss Active Duty? If so, finish what you started on the outside (school, short-term career goals, certifications, etc) and come back to AD. The downside is, you'll be "behind," but I think that's hardly a disadvantage. You'll have life experience, you'll have outside professional experience, and you'll have had a change to explore other things besides the military. I think these are invaluable. That's just my 2 cents, but don't take my word for it. I would honestly get in touch with some of the reserve or guard units in your region and try to find some senior NCOs who did something similar, rotated between Reserve Component and Active Duty or had a break in service. Talk to them and seek guidance/mentorship. See what their experience was and if they'd do it again, and what they'd do differently. It's definitely hard to tell if you should stay Active Duty if that's been your only experience and if all of the people around are also AD and they're telling you to stay. Get some different opinions in the mix from people who have lived these experiences and you might learn something new! Wishing you all the best as you make your decision--I know it's not an easy one! Another resource that might interest you: acaptainslog.com/tour-of-duty-a-little-known-way-to-exercise-control-over-your-career/
@@freereinveterans I know for sure that I am getting out of the Army now. I feel like I can actually stop caring too much about dumb things, or little things.
@@fredmcelroy2839 good for you. Congrats on making your decision. One step closer. Hit me up if you want any reserve component info. It’s something good to look into as you’re transitioning to maximize options and make for a soft landing as a civilian 🙏🏽
Great Video! When you said, "I can just bear it and get to my 20", whoooo buddy! I had those same thoughts and they were incredibly depressing! Did my 7yrs AD AF, and bounced. Now a homeowner, collecting VA Compensation, applying for VR&E, and continuing my Financial Literacy! Life Is Good!!
@@freereinveterans Please keep doing what you're doing! Your Content from YT to your site is amazing. Like you said in this vid, there are a Lot of Vets with the same thoughts and feelings as us, and are looking for Fellowship.
@@MultiRekrap Appreciate hearing that man! Progress has been slow lately, it’s just that season of life at the moment. But definitely not planning to stop 😃
Man I feel just like this and I’m not even in the military. I’ve been thinking of joining in an attempt to shake this feeling & in pursuit of purpose. But it seems no better than civilian life
To me, it seems like a career or professional goals can't necessarily provide that--perhaps it's much deeper. But, I know that for many people, work does provide a *part* of their of their "purpose," so to speak. I think for a many of us (and for many in the military), the problem comes when your *entire* identity and sense of purpose comes from your military service. It certainly is a part of you, and it always will be. But when the military is your entire identity, and you finally leave the military (everyone does at some point whether it's retiring at 20 years or a three-year enlistment) people sometimes have an identity crisis and have a difficult time re-integrating into society. Not saying whether or not you should join the military, it may be a good fit for a chapter in your life. You just have to do some real thinking and decide for yourself 🙏
Civilian life is heaven compared to the military. At least in civilian life you have a choice of what you choose to do, in military there is no choice only obedience and a lot of abuse.
Civilian corporate life can be just as bad if not worse than certain active duty military jobs. Both have pros and cons for sure, it really depends on who You* are as a person.
GRADSO sounds good for people who want to make the Army a career. I spent 9 years in the Marine Corps, then I got out in 2018 and joined the Army in 2020. It has its ups and downs, but overall, I've enjoyed my time in the Army. When I came back in, I had the intention of retiring. What I will say, is that I do enjoy what the Army has provided me, but I also understand some people do get shafted, and its not for every one. You earned yourself a sub. Also, I will say, that I am a SSG that works at a Regimental level right now. I have a bachelors and I did think about going the commissioned route, but when I considered it, I had too much time in service. Now, based on what I know, what I've observed, I respect officers, but I am glad I am enlisted. I do find fulfillment in what I do.
I left active duty in very late 2019. I’ve continued to serve in the Guard since then, and I like it for the most part. That said, I watch this video probably once a week. I feel the constant push and pull between loving soldiering and the infantry and thinking I should make it my whole life again, and then hating the Army as an institution and culture. I love the freedom I have in life now and I’ve grown a lot. I want to be a lot of things and a soldier is one of them. It’s tough. Thanks for making this video and all your other content. It’s really well made, and I appreciate your perspective.
Thanks very much for watching and taking the time to comment… I can definitely sympathize with the two directions you feel pulling at you. Both are valid and should be considered and it sounds like you’ve been able to find some kind of balance in the Guard. I really wanted to be a soldier too. And well, here I am: In a van down by the river 🤣🤣. So glad you can relate to some of the content. Honestly was a pain in the ass for me to learn but I really did try hard to make it turn out nicely…even if I did find a ton of errors after I already posted haha. Anyway, really appreciate the nice comment. Thank you.
I can relate to leaving because of a tipping point. My job fixing trucks that sit outside all year in upstate New York weather made me feel like I was wasting my time. Nothing ever stayed fixed and it wasn’t fulfilling. I originally joined to get away from home but I found myself trying to go back. Then there was free college and now I have no urge to use it. Ultimately I still haven’t found myself or what I want to do long term so if there’s anyone that was in my position I’d appreciate advice as to how you over came this…the only thing I can come up with is stepping out and trying things but it hasn’t been great as of late
I think what you already mentioned is a big part of it, stepping out and trying things. I guess it kind of depends on individual preference, but for me personally, it helps to approach situations like this with some kind of plan because then it feels like there’s a bit of structure and less chaotic or floating around aimlessly. I usually feel better about the direction I’m going if it feels like I’m progressing in some way. Kind of hard to explain in a comment now that I’m trying to actually explain it, but I guess what I’m saying is, some kind of strategic approach/a process for determining what you’re best suited to do in the world is a good way to go about it. Wishing you the best of luck as you try to figure these things out! I’m working on some more resources for veterans and transitioning servicemembers who are trying to find their place in the world so if something like that ever interests you, I’m sharing updates on social media.
I couldy agree more I was feeling so miserable and depressed at work not being able to do my job as a medic and the way things were being run .I started to volunteer as a firefighter emt on my free time but it wasnt enough i was still depressed at work, my leadership had issues with me volunteering as well when it didn't interfere with work at all. Until i realized that it wasn't worth it continuing and living like this hating myself and my job so I choose to get out. I recently went on my terminal leave and have a job as an emt starting in a couple days and i couldn't be more exited. Thank you for sharing your testimony it has definitely helped seeing that I wasnt alone.
So glad you have found a place that seems to be a better fit! Good for you, I think most of us are still trying to figure that out. And for me, it’s been a continual evolution. Wishing you the best on the start of this new chapter and hope you’re able to learn, grow, and find community!
what a wonderful series of videos. I love the internet for making these "portholes" available for all of us riding this rock (earth) through the icy vacuum of the cosmos. Your camera presence is awesome and your story, compelling. Thank you for sharing!
In the beginning of the video when you were talking about how what you are doing reduces your ability to contribute I really felt that. I have been in for 17 years and am going to 20 but I have been feeling I should have left after 5 or so years. I think that a lot of people don’t realize that the system isn’t meant for personal progression. I always talk about how the Army espoused values but doesn’t actualize values. I got to the point where I stopped caring and I have been open about just treading water… to everyone… raters, leaders, everyone. And nothing negative happened. In fact it has been the opposite. I have spent more time with my family and actually become happier in the Army. And my evals… more or less the same. Less contributions and achievements highlighted (because I won’t write them for someone else to copy paste) but senior rating pretty much the same. That either means that I have been garbage for a while or the rating system isn’t actually based on the metrics they say.
I just cracked up. I can’t imagine being in that long. I remember becoming really frustrated with people who I felt were “terminal *insert rank*” whether it was E6, LTC, or whatever and just shamming. Because it was easy to think, ok I’m here busting my ass and staying late and these people are like, “I’m outta here,” at 1700. The more and more I think about it, it’s like, who can blame them? I knew I had an expiration date on my time and i was able to sprint (more or less) to the end. But if you’re in it for the long haul, is it really worth losing your family and life over…? Yea, probably not. So while the responsibility was on me to manage the personalities in my company, I think it’s worth having some empathy and being a bit of a realist, and realizing that not everyone wants to kill themselves working. And for me, knowing that my time was going to be much shorter certainly made it easier. Whereas other people are running a marathon. So funny about your evals staying pretty steady 😂. Interesting experiment that sounds like it worked out alright for you. Congrats on making it to 17, you’re almost there!
Hey Kayla, you’re awesome. This video put into words how I’ve been feeling recently. Props for trusting your heart and getting out. I get out in 6 months. You’re inspiring!
Thanks for listening, and appreciate the comment. Hope your transition goes ok and you have some good things lined up for yourself! Best of luck to you as you start a new chapter 🙂
I did 6 years myself, I got out and used my gi bill to go to college. That was the best decision I ever made. If you get out, use your gi bill. Get free education even if you think you didn't need it. It opens doors, lots of doors. Plus I learned more about myself in college than I did while in the military which was very unexpected. I also squeezed out two bachelor's degrees out of my gi bill before I exhausted it. I sometimes wonder if I should have stayed for my twenty since had I done that, I would have retired 5 years ago. But I now have a career I will retire from in 10 years and I own my house. I would never trade my time in the military for anything, but getting out can be a good choice to as long as you do it right. Thank you for this video, it was insightful.
Sounds like you figured it out and created an awesome path for yourself! I’m in school now and using education benefits, which I’m very thankful for. Glad it all worked out for you and I feel the same. Wouldn’t trade my time, but getting out was the right choice for me. Best wishes to you and Merry Christmas!
@@freereinveterans Merry Xmas to you as well, also don't be afraid to explore the veteran home loan program, that program makes it so much easier and a lot cheaper to buy a house then a traditional home loan, my loan officer told me the reason for that is because veterans have an extremely low default rate so that's why the government backs it and gives us such a great deal on it, because us vets always do what we say we're going to do lol
I appreciate this candid feedback. I was enlisted and spent 6 years noticing the same things…it wasn’t for me. I realize I had NO CONTROL over my life when I was Iraq I was extended TWICE. I spent 1.5 years in Iraq.
Thanks for sharing this. I retired in 2019. The best time of my life was spent in the mud with boys, bleeding and fighting the enemy to the death. I miss my men so much (I was in the Marine infantry), but the institution is/was broken and truly harmful to the individual. It took so much from me in the end and I left very resentful, sad, and wondering how my life might have been different had I taken an alternate path. You are very perceptive, attractive, and full of life. I hope things are working out for you.
Congrats on retiring and thanks for the comment 🙏🏽 And agreed on the institution. Some challenges will just never go away and all you can do is manage them the best you can at the level you’re at.
Hi, Kayla. Thanks for the great video summing up the reasons someone might want to leave. I was enlisted for 6 years and the portion were you talk about people being deeply unhappy touched me very deeply. I was one of those people, and I developed an alcohol problem as a result. I did ETS eventually, but it took me many years to get the help I needed to overcome the emotional problems I developed from the Army. I am just glad I made the decision to leave when I did and reach out to get the help I needed to be happy and not dependent on substances.
Thanks for watching and sharing your experience. Glad you got the help you needed and are in a better place in life now! Sounds like it was a long road, but well worth it, as it seems to bee for many others in situations similar to yours. Wishing you the best in life and hope you have a Merry Christmas!
I am at 12 years and I am trying very hard to make these 8 years. There has been about 2-3 times since I been in that I didn’t like who I was becoming. Many ups and downs, but lot more downs. We’ll see if I’ll reach 20.
Thanks for the comment. That’s a long time and I’m sure it’s not been easy… I don’t know if you’re considered it at all, but if you get to a point where you’re just over it, but you feel you’ve invested too much, perhaps it’s worth looking into some reserve component options. When I was on active duty, I had no idea that there were so many interesting, off-the-wall opportunities out there. Sometimes when you’re done, you’re DONE. But depending on how things go for you, there might be something that’s a good fit. If you ever want any info, we’ve got a few overview vids and articles we can share with you, just let me know. Stay encouraged and genuinely wishing you the best as you figure out how to navigate these next several years!
I admire your ability to self reflect and observe the big picture. I don’t look for friends but it sounds like you would make a good one. Keep pushing.
@@freereinveterans I watched your video, I believe my dad was listening in on it too, he retire after 28 years in the coast guard, if you did 10 years already and bailing out at that point, especially if you were not getting passed over, wasn't a wise choice. You can do 10 more years standing on your head and you're still young with one heck of a security blanket that stays with you for the rest of your natural days. And before you or anyone else ask if I was ever in the answer is no, I'm finishing up my masters. I have no plans of going into the military, but I do have the option. I do thank you for the heads up about the difficulties of traveling into Canada, that is where my mother and her side of the family all reside, that will keep the military option off at the edge of the table, plus add the fact that the US military is over run with political correct Nazi's (according to my dad), really doesn't make it an appealing career choice for me.
@@oveidasinclair982 Understandable point with respect to the 10 years, but one that I still think isn’t always valid and can be a slippery slope. 10 years is an incredibly long time and maybe my perspective is partially generational, but I see forfeiting 10 years of my one precious life for a security blanket as one of the worst decisions I could make. If it’s just for a security blanket, there are 100 other ways I could find a security blanket. I really see it as partially a fear-based decision. And to me, there is so much more to life than a security blanket. To me, staying in for an extra 10 years is simply an easy option that requires the least adjustment, change, and work to completely pivot create a new life. Now if I were loving my work in the military, that would be a different story. But to your point, I do think the number of years you’ve served is most certainly something that must be considered-particularly if you have family and financial obligations. So I realize it’s not a trivial matter. For me, I haven’t started a family or bought a house or anything of that sort, so I fortunately have the ability to be much more flexible. And I am thankful for that. But I just would never be able to bring myself to stay in a career simply for the benefits. Unless I was in a situation that required me to do so. I have friends who left the military, went straight for an MBA and are now making 1.5 to 2 times what we were making in the military. So that’s one other way that-in my mind-the argument to stay for an extra 10 years isn’t always valid. For me, at this time I have no interest in corporate work or want anything to do with finance, or large bureaucratic organizations so I definitely will not be taking that route. At least for now. And yes… Canada is honestly just a pain in the ass. Not overly difficult but when you’re filling out five forms and getting approval from three levels to take a three hour drive across the border, it can definitely get under your skin!
Thanks for this video. I left Marine Corps bootcamp after 4 weeks of training with a fellow recruit who at the time was on fire watch duty with me. We discussed how deeply we regret joining and planned a way to get out of the military. So went through with it and a week later we got a ticket home. A few days before we leave 2 officers who signed our papers told me to my face that I’m just a quitter and when I go back I’m just going to be a failure in life and a disappointment to my parents. They weren’t screaming and poking fun of the way you look or anything like the Drill Instructor. Keep in mind I was only an 18 yo kid. After this encounter I’ve felt I probably made the best decisions ever because my brothers friends told me that there are many toxic leaders in the military who treat their men like trash and cared more about their career than their own men. Looking back a year later, I not regret my decision at all I had a pretty good job at the moment and most importantly I had my freedom and even my parent was proud that I decided to get out of that corrupt organization. I don’t care if I’m considered a quitter in the military world, I was one of the few that actually have the guts to stand up for myself.
Glad things worked out for you… It’s one of those decisions that’s deeply personal for everyone and people will have preconceived notions and pass judgement regardless of whether you stay in, get out, etc. Best of luck to you as you continue finding your way in the world 🙏🏽
“A lot of good Marines get out because the bad ones stay in” I am more than halfway through my enlistment and I feel so unfulfilled. I am tired of trying to act a certain way to fit in. It felt as if I literally I literally signed up for high school all over again. I do not care how tough the civilian world is. I just wanna do my time honorably and be myself for once.
Justify it, however you think makes you feel good. I claimed that title and proud of it. You didn't. This lady did 8 years, you didn't even finish boot camp. You don't rate weighing in.
I get out in 1 month, the military is Mentally draining and I have been contemplating staying in since I cannot find any jobs and I keep getting denied job after job. Seeing this video helped me to refocus on getting out and believing in myself. Thank you for the insight !
@@moev1989 you’re so welcome! Congrats on ETSing. If you’re struggling to find work at the moment, I’d say one thing to consider to help with a “softer landing” (especially if you don’t have a good support system) is the reserve component. I’ve got another vid on those opportunities, if that’s interesting to you. Probably not what you want to hear right now and while it’s prob not exciting, it might be practical as you’re trying to find your way. Also if you’re having trouble finding work, look at the internship and trade programs thru TAP! Wishing you the best and if you can’t find that video, let me know!
@@freereinveterans I did try to go to the reserves unfortunately, I was disqualified due to medical reasons, and I was also denied skills bridge because my shop was going to be short manned so that prevented me from getting a job using the program hiring our heroes. Thanks for the advice anyways.
@@moev1989 damn… that really sucks. There are a lot of programs out there for after you’re out as well as I’m sure you’re aware. It may not be an easy road, but you’ll find something! 🙏🏽
I joined the Navy right after high school in 1967. My recruiter promised me I would get the job I wanted and he kept his word. I entered the Navy as an HR (Hospital Recruit), went to "A" school right after boot camp (both in San Diego CA) and then to the Field Medical Service School at Camp Pendelton to learn how to work with Marines in a war zone, then to the Naval Hospital back in San Diego for a required minimum of time before leaving for my one and only 12 month tour in South Vietnam looking after the health needs of my Marines. I liked it so much, I stayed for 26 years (1967-1993). The biggest advantage to staying in the military for 20 years or more is when you become Medicare elgible, your military health insurance plus traditional Medicare combine and you don't get medical bills anymore. I was on kidney dialysis for 5 years waiting for a donor and my dialysis cost $60K every month and my kidney transplant cost $400K. I never got any bills. My son only did 4 years and got out. Had he stayed for 20 years, he would be getting a pension now. We both went in at age 19 and would be elgible for pensions at age 39. Unlike the civilian sector, military retirees don;t have to wait until their 60's to get a pension.
All very good points and I’m so glad it worked out well for you and especially your medical care 🙏🏽. I’m sure it’s not easy and the benefits you got from the military really made the difference. Thanks for the comment and best wishes to both you and your son!
I by no means agree with everything u said, but you did raise some valid points. Especially observing how unhappy a lot of people are in the military. I wasn’t aware of that
While your points are valid 100%, because they are your points of view and reference. I have no idea what it is like to be on active duty today, I was an infantry officer for 25 years and that guy is long gone. He is another person 15 years later so don’t worry. I retired in 2009 at a vicious point in the war. I felt like I had used up all 9 of my cat lives between 2001 and 2009. I was frazzled and on edge after my time in combat. Couldn’t focus and all the rest but my leadership wanted me to go forth for promotions etc. That being said, right or wrong my life is considerably different and much better at this point. Ten years after leaving active duty I completely retired, to our small farm in the mountains of NC. I think you think your perspective is unique. It isn’t and you will find many if not more of the problems you think are military problems are not unique to the military, but good luck! You will find what you find on the other side. You sound a little like the person who just found out no one in 100 years including our family will remember anything about us. It is a rude awakening but you will wake up one day and see what matters. Good luck! I mean that.
Sounds like you’ve found your place in the world, and I’m glad it’s all worked out for you. It’s not so much I think my perspective is unique. I figured a lot of people would relate, because many of these issues came up in conversations with NCOs, bosses, soldiers, etc. It was more so that there’s (at least according to my experience) a very strong, one-sided narrative, and what seemed to be a lack of acknowledgement of many of these problems that are contributing to recruitment and retention issues. An institution seeking to improve and adapt must change, and critical feedback is one of the things I think can help drive change. Not that anything shared here is going to change a damn thing, but perhaps reach people at an individual level so they can have another data point to form their own ideas about some of these problems, and decide how that informs the way they want to live their life. Surely most of these problems aren’t unique to the military, as you mentioned. I do think some are exacerbated by the military environment though. Sincerely, best wishes to you too! Life is treating me well out here so far.
Thank you for speaking your truth. As someone considering enlisting at an older age this really drives home the point that grass is not always greener on the other side of the civilian world. Wish there were more videos like yours so younger folks enlisting would take it in when considering enlistment time commitments. Once locked in the secret few acknowledge is that one must be ready to put up with everything. Yet how tempting it is to just go in for 6 years when presented with a $50k bonus that the army just started offering on some MOS…
I appreciate you watching and thanks for commenting. You know, I don’t regret my decision or career path at ALL. It’s made me who I am and shaped my life in a way that I’m very satisfied with. But, I’m also very glad I left when I did. I also think this is a great thing for young people to be aware of. And maybe not so much to deter this altogether, but to just exercise caution, seek mentorship and guidance (from someone other than a recruiter LOL), and to seek a path in the military where you try to preserve as much flexibility as possible. And if nothing else, you can at least be mentally prepared for some of the cultural/professional phenomena you may encounter. $50k is an awesome bonus and for me, my undergrad being paid for and the GI Bill for grad school have/will put me in an advantageous financial position that I’m very thankful for. But I’m sure glad I ain’t doin 20 years!!!! 🤣 That would 100% NOT be worth it for my personal situation. But for some, it is. And I get that. Good luck with your decision, I hope everything works out for you!
Definitely understand alot of this active duty wasnt for me either it was only after i got out that i realized being in can actually hurt personal growth just as bad it was almost like a band aid to cover up things i should know about myself for a while and things that really make me happier in life when you have that freedom to make your own choices
I did 20 years for the retirement when they offered it ( it has been changed to a 401k you could earn or set up yourself without serving). I knew this was my best chance to get some kind of sustainability after serving, I live a retired lifestyle at a young age. I served my country with honors and enjoy not doing much as a fairly decent age. The issues youtuber mentioned in her top ten about mental stressors are mainly because the military does not encourage seeking help, in fact it is looked down upon for determining fitness for duty unofficially in most cases. SO service members suffer from many of the issues this TH-camr mentioned. I think when joining you have to decide if a structured life is what you want and why are you joining. My pride toward the honor of serving dwindled away from the backdoor politics and cover ups that I saw way to much and had so swallow my morals on what is right and wrong on and focus on the end goal. I regret some of that after the service, but I can lice a comfortable life that I earned the hard way. Overall I think if you don't want a structured life and don't consider some of the pros and cons of those contracts and you have other options to be successful I would recommend try those other options first. Also remember if you don't like what you are doing in the service go to your command and ask them to be removed from service instead of getting n trouble, it is a volunteer service after all.
Thank You Kayla for serving and your insightful experience with the Army. I am sure you will find your way in the world and flourish. Thank goodness the United States doesn't have conscription like some other countries. My 2186 days in the Navy was by design, a means to an end. Two years of training followed by 4 years of service and an honorable discharge provided a foundation to pursue a meaningful life in the civilian world. Stay true to yourself and I wish you the best of luck!
Man....you hit the nail on the head with this video. There are too many seniors who accept the status quo so they can move up. I will say that it wasn't always this way......before the war, training management was way better. And we did not waste time on stupid.
Good on you, Kayla G. I'm glad you had the guts to make the move, and step into the unknown. " Ten years..might as well go twenty" .., yeah, I've been there. "Not an optimal fit" ..I get that, too. Plus, I felt like my luck might be running out, and I was tired of being away from home, so I bailed after ten years. It's not an easy decision. but you're still plenty young, and seem to have you're head on straight, so you'll find a good path. BTW, you're 4WD van rig is very cool.
Wow! You left after ten...I think you’re a rarity. Seems like it’s a much more difficult decision once you hit ten. Like you said, I’ve still got some youth! Time to use it and also have some fun while I still can. And thank you-the rig is doing great so far 🙏🏽
![일상 속 기분 좋음 [Proto disco meme]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/DwmEIaZ7XGQ/mqdefault.jpg)
1. Never thought I'd get 1k, let alone 20k views on this video. Thanks to everyone for watching/commenting. Appreciate you all.
2. The audio gets screwed up about 2/3 through the video. Gimme a break, this was my first time editing a video this size and things got a little wonky lol.
3. If you're looking for more military-related commentary or career/transition resources, check out my website: acaptainslog.com/
4. Finally, a friend and I are working on a project to help current military & veterans transition into unconventional paths and reconnect with nature. If that sounds interesting to you, check out a preview here: free-rein.co/
Thanks again for the support.
Horrible!, horrible!!, I totally disliked it of how the US ARMY is, the most unprofessional military branch out of all of the US military branches.
The guard should be a serious option so that the benefits exist with a loss of retirement or medical benefits. In the end though, you gotta do what’s best for you now, not later. Eventually you’ve got to be able to cash in on your work. Otherwise what’s the point?
@@TJackSurvival for sure, some really interesting opportunities out there in the reserve component. I’ve done quite a bit of research and shared the resources I’ve found and what I’ve learned from others in other videos and articles. I think that the guard or reserves is def a great option for some people.
@@freereinveteransin the end you have absolutely got to do what’s best for you. Thank you for your insight and this video. You have my respect.
I did 12 years of active duty. I was turning into someone I didn't like. When I started to get irritated with my family, I knew something inside got broken. I decided to leave even though most of my peers and leadership wanted me to stay for eight more years to get my pension. They failed to realize that within that eight years, I may lose my family and my health. A price I am not willing to make. I am grateful for the military experience, but I will not play a part in the destruction of my own family. The military is a good fit for people who want structure but is terrible for people who want to be creative.
Insightful perspective and I’m glad you saw what was happening and made the choice that was right for you. I’m sure it wasn’t easy and when you’re in the thick of it, things can be confusing. Your last sentence: on point and 100% agree. And I think for me, it was simply a phase in life. I consider myself someone who appreciates the opportunity and time to be creative. But when I was in my 20s, I wanted structure. By the time I had a bit of experience and maturity, I was ready for a chapter of life characterized by more freedom and creativity. And so it was time. Thanks for watching and commenting and best wishes to you and your family.
Bullshit ..
@@freereinveterans my girl changed to the point she wasn't my girl anymore and a break up happened.
I was trying to figure out if active duty gave her some mental scars and forced her to dump me out of not feeling protect3d.
Anyway I join soon and look forward to atleast one contract
Same here. 12 years and I left
Feel ya
The sooner you realize the system is designed to suck, the sooner you’ll get out, reclaim your life, and never look back.
Yup… I agree.
What are you doing?
I am a marine struggling ,my mental health is not doing good, I am unhappy, my marriage is over, I ask myself everyday why I am here. I miss freedom, I miss traveling, I miss making my own decisions. My battalion currently has the highest suicidal rate in the whole marine corps. I am on the medical board waiting for an answer and praying god everyday. Man, this is not easy, I don’t understand how people do this for 20 years.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Really sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time. We all have them and you WILL get through it. You aren’t alone and there are people out there struggling with the very same challenges and I know it isn’t easy. I don’t get how people do it for 20 years either, man. All I can offer is to stay encouraged and do the best you can. I’m sure it’s incredibly overwhelming to feel suffocated from both a work and family perspective. Don’t wait to seek help if you need it. Lean on your friends or family who you know have your back or consider using resources through the Marine Corps to get help if you feel you don’t have anyone. Just know you aren’t alone. Start making your contingency plan if the medical board doesn’t work out and start trying to figure out what you might want to do on the other side. I find if you occupy your mind only with “leaving” or “escaping” the military, it can lead to a lot more negative emotion vs trying to also fit in ideas about what you’re escaping *to*. Yes, you’re planning to leave, but where do you want to go? That can be overwhelming too, but it also can be exciting!! Think about possibilities and start brainstorming ideas and researching. For me, that was fun and gave me something to look forward to… and it was useful. Genuinely wish you the best of luck on your journey. You’ll get there. Don’t give up!
Former soldier here, Marine. Hang in there. Once you get that DD214, it will all be worth it. The army screwed me over too in more ways than I can even count, so I know your struggle, and feel your pain. The day you get to walk off your duty station knowing you never have to return is one of the best feelings you will ever know.
Checking in. Ran by this and I am hoping all is well and you're maintaining. Need someone to talk to to listen, grab them. You're most certainly not alone. Stand to and stand strong. We do that best, together. -Semper Fidelis
Please stay safe brother. For me it’s 6 years since I left the army. It will get better, may God protect all soldiers 🙏❤️
One of my biggest reasons for leaving is the fact that I cannot be a real person in the Army.
I hear ya
This the one…
Nope 👎🏻
You have to act and be a certain way. If you do not, you will be looked down upon, and denied for promotion and career advancement!! I was. I regretted it back then, but now, NO WAY!! I am glad now that I did not put on that immoral character to get a pat on the head by the Army!! I did not fit in!! It was time to get out after almost 9 years!!
That is why it is just another job, we all are getting paid, receive benefits, etc.
You are wise beyond your age. As an almost 20 year veteran and Officer still serving in the Army Reserves.,the military has taken a toll on me. I was once an idealist and believed in our country and senior leadership running our nation. Now, I am just trying to hang on without losing my retirement.
Thanks for watching… really feels like I’ve just tried to put into words what a lot of people are thinking/feeling already, you know? Wishing you the best of luck as you finish out! Sounds like you’re almost there, stay encouraged!
Did 10yrs enlisted in the navy and I just got tired of faking till I make it. I hated being angry everytime I had to go to work. I was just staying through spite and anger my doc told me it was better for me mentally to stop pushing myself
Hope you’re in a better place now and life is good! It ain’t for everyone, that’s for sure. And for some us, it’s only meant to be a short chapter.
I get out in 2 months!!! I’m so ready to get out of the military. It’s mentally draining from me. I’ve given so much for 6 years. It’s affected me physically, mentally and emotionally. Turning me into this monster that I don’t want to be. Day by day for over 2 years, my health has declined. I’m just not happy serving in the military anymore!!!!
Congratulations! I’m sorry your experience has generally been negative-hopefully there are also a lot of positive memories and friendships as well. Two months is the final countdown. Good luck outprocessing, enjoy your leave, and wishing you the best during your transition!
If you live in the barracks, you never feel like you aren't still at work.
True, especially in combat MOS's, a great reason why people say stay away from combat MOS's. Bullies, harassment, backstabbing, etc.
Im on the enlisted side 5 months left , but let me tell you the amount of "Energy of Peace" i found in this video i just want to say thank you for your free spirit of living, an your courage of knowing your worth.
Best of luck to you as you transition-hope everything goes well for you! So glad you found something positive in the video and thanks for letting me know 🙂
Preach! I just got out after 13 years. I thought i was going to do 20. Lost my wife to cancer and everything changed for me. Moved back closer to my family to be closer to my mother who is getting pretty old. One thing i learned from losing my late wife was that you want to have a clean conscious and know that you did what you can for those you love while they are alive. I still deal with some demons but knowing I did all I can do to the best of my abilities does bring peace. I cant imagine the guilt that comes from knowing you let that person down. Lots of people chose the military over their family. Not worth it at all. If you die someone will simply replace you in the Army thats how important we are individually to the organization.
100% agree family > military. My mom actually died of cancer while I was a West Point cadet. Fortunately, there were people who stepped in when her condition became terminal and essentially forced me to go home even though my mom told me she didn’t want me to because it would disrupt my whole timeline, I’d graduate late, etc. I went home, West Point leadership gave me an entire semester off so I could be with her, take care of things, and help my dad. I went back the next semester, graduated a semester later than all of my friends, and the whole timeline thing didn’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things. Anyway, glad I went home. The next year some TAC officers at West Point asked me to talk to a kid a few years younger than me-a plebe (freshman)-whose dad had terminal cancer and he refused to go home and be with him because he thought it would negatively impact his career etc etc. I talked with the guy for a long time and explained how there will literally be no negative impacts on your career and furthermore, none of this stuff even matters anyway. He wouldn’t budge. I don’t know if he ever ended up going home or not.
I’m currently in the Navy. Been in for 8 years and I have a year and a half left until I’m out. This video really encouraged my decision to fully get out. I have anxiety and I was scared to take the next step but I’m ready to move on and have faith. Thanks again for this powerful message!
You are welcome and I’m really glad to hear it helped. Best of luck as you finish out your time! It’s going to fly by so fast, so try to start making a plan now if you can !!😊
You got it man, I’m here fdnf and hate my decision to come here to Yokosuka. The navy is bad the leaders get worse.
@@cent-ns1lm facts! The leadership is so bad and it’s toxic.
I'm struck by how intelligent and insightful this lady is.
When you’re a leader who genuinely cares about Soldiers instead of covering your or your bosses ass…things get difficult. When you’re genuinely interested in being good vs looking good…you get punished for it. And the paperwork…my god the paperwork.
The hardest thing for me was the betrayal of war. I used to believe in my country, our Army, and people. Being lied to and sent to war countless times while those sending me got rich and the people couldn’t care less was absolutely devastating to me. I was a mustang officer who spent my Soldier/NCO years on the line fighting. I went green to gold thinking I could change things from the inside…how very naive I was.
Being an officer was an eye opening experience. Seeing “how the sausage is made” within our Army and prosecuting our foreign policy demonstrated to me that this was merely a microcosm of the entirety of the massive governmental apparatus and nothing I did was changing the momentum of that leviathan whatsoever. Most senior leaders were either out of touch, incompetent, or both. Disinterested in the realities on the ground, big on holding the subordinates to “legal, moral, and ethical” standards but short on delivering those standards themselves.
The blood on my hands fighting unjustly is not something I can forgive my government or myself for. I wish I was stronger in my principles to have understood exactly what we were about to do before I went over the first time. Hearing “you did your duty” in the context of Iraq at this point makes me nauseous, and the fact neither our military, our government, or the people care in the least about the consequences of unleashing unjust wars made it so I could no longer serve such a corrupted institution. Just like what happened with my dad and Vietnam.
My children will NEVER serve this country. This family is done with the lies and obfuscations.
Literally just saw this. May have not been able to view it before because I’ve been in other countries and there are restrictions and sometimes I got notifications that there were comments but then I couldn’t view them. Who knows. In any case, I just read this for the first time and thanks for sharing… definitely can relate to your thoughts and don’t blame you at all for feeling the way you do. For me, it’s hard to know what to think about all of it. But definitely got to a point where I was so completely over it as well. The only thing I know for sure is that for now, I don’t want to be involved. Obviously none of this is simple and things are incredibly complicated, but the best decision for me was to step away and remove myself from this situation while I still had the ability to. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this stuff… Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. And yes, oh my god the PAPERWORK!!!
Can I interview you for my podcast Major?
@@LyonBrave tentatively, sure.
LOL!, 😂.
You finally realize the truth.
It was just another job, get paid, get the benefits, etc.
I just got out on March 12th of this year. The adjustment has been so rough but my mental health has been in the gutter for so long. The leadership is completely incompetent & sociopathic and has ruined so many of our lives. And I saw some of my best friends stay in because it’s “the safe option” at the expense of being on the brink of suicide day in and day out. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Thank you for putting things into perspective. this video really helped me! #respect
I really hope you’re able to find some peace and time to do things that are important to you now that you’ve left! I didn’t have as bad of an experience as you maybe but I definitely know people who have. And it’s not uncommon. I’m sad to hear that and I know that same “safe option” sentiment I hear from people as well… I couldn’t take it anymore either! Lol. Best of luck to you as you begin to figure out your next chapter 🙏🏽
I got out yesterday! Wow I can relate to this 1000%. I’m going backpacking in 2 months in Europe as a treat to myself free from the military
Congrats on that DD214! Sounds like an epic trip, great way to transition out. Safe journey, and enjoy the ride!
Those who say, *"I have been here 10 years, I might as well do 20 years."* are missing one crucial point - your innings will be over by the end of 20 years.
My experience resonated with all the points you have listed here.
I am a second-generation Army officer and am presently in the process of transitioning out after 11 years. My unsolicited reasons are: -
- To gain greater autonomy over my life.
- I am a product of my environment, and unfortunately, my environment hasn't promoted any growth in my personal life; in fact, it has stunted it in many ways I can't explain here.
- The constant geographical move every two years with my lock, stock, and barrel has always created an inner conflict. Some say that I am not mentally tough; I tell them that I was born on a train, brought up in a truck. My Mom and my sis are wayy tougher than many serving members.
- A constant worry about the next posting - where will the Army send me? I am at their mercy.
- Some seniors don't like the fact that I have more experience than them in terms of travel abroad exposure. They usually have funny ways to deal with it in the office, then.
- I love leading the troops, but that time and age have come and gone. I want to expose myself to the company of intelligent people who will challenge my thinking and motivate me to pursue new paths while I still have the energy to do so.
Don't get me wrong, I love the Army; it has also given me a lot. But over the years, I have learned that it is not the Army that I wish it was. And it's only getting worse. I bow and thank the Army for making me who I am today; I am all gratitude. But I don't want to overstay my welcome either, and thus, become a burden on the organization.
PS: Hate the paperwork and slow movement of the file for a foreign trip.
100% all of this. Somehow missed this comment earlier. Thanks for sharing all of that, I think many people can relate 🙏🏽 Hope your transition is going well.
You probably won’t do any better as a civilian either.
I'm not sure if you're going to read this,but I left the military after my short time in from injuries acquired while I was serving active duty.I was always the more artistic kid growing up and hated my MOS.I am out now and following my dreams to become a lawyer.
Good for you! Maybe you can can look back on your time as an formative chapter but be glad it’s over. Best wishes as you progress towards your dreams!
Fellow rebel, I just got out 9 months ago from 4 yrs active Army enlisted JBLM and I felt everything about what you said. I've had to talk friends out of suicide and unfortunately lost a brother who just couldn't take it anymore because our unit kept on demanding more from us and it was NEVER good enough. The only thing I loved was my friends that became my family I made in the Army but I absolutely despise that ego fest of an organization. I'm so glad you're outta that hellhole and living a real life and you're not alone. You're a rockstar, it took guts to go against the grain and go your own way! 🤘🏽
Thanks for watching and congratulations on getting out! Hope things are going well for you… The mental toll a lot of this stuff takes on people is just sad. And I think people often feel trapped so I can see how people find themselves in a really dark place.
I know about that ego fest you’re talking about! 🤣 Thanks for the love, I’m so glad I had the opportunity to GTFO and go live my own life on my own terms. I appreciate my experience and am very grateful but it was time. Best of luck as you continue navigating life and exploring the free world! 🙏🏽
Watching this with less than 2 months left in the military really has put my mind to rest. I appreciate this video so much! Thank you!
So so happy to hear that. It won’t always be easy, but you are perfectly capable of living a successful, fulfilled, fun life out here. Just keep on chugging along and don’t give up! And file your VA claim and apply for your GI Bill letter of eligibility!! 🙏🏽
I get out next month. The army for me has been one hell of a chapter in my life, but for me it is hard to explain the relief I feel knowing that this chapter is almost over.
100% feel you on that… no regrets, but definitely glad I decided to move on. Congrats on finishing out, have fun on terminal leave!
I've been enlisted for 5 years now in the ADF (Australian Defence Force/Army).
All your points are so valid to me right now.
One thing someone once told me was "all the good ones end up getting out".
When the hierarchy laugh at your comments on leaving and insist you'll never make it on the outside. I look at them and think that's not how I want to end up. Atleast a divorce later, posting away from their family, 90% hating their lives because they're actually the ones stuck needing the Army. Realistically they're just projecting their insecurities on me, a young 26 year old. I've been working since 14, 6 different jobs before I thought this would be my last. I've had exposure to the real world. But as you know as you get older you start to view life a little different, those things that used to matter don't really matter anymore.
Life is simple, we just insist on making it hard.
Thank you for you video.
Thanks so much for listening and sharing your thoughts. I’ve witnessed that type of behavior too… definitely projecting insecurity. Sad that it has to be that way and those kind of leaders can’t encourage people to be their very best (whether that’s in or out of the military) and instead choose to resort to negativity and tearing other people down. Just like you said, those kind of people are what I’ve used to model what NOT to do.
Best of luck with your decision and whatever direction you decide to take your life!! 🙏🏽
Absolutely loved every minute of this video! I’m about to hit 10 years on active duty and have relentlessly pursued exiting the Army for the past two years. 2023 will be the year of liberation! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
I am so glad to hear that! Thanks for commenting and letting me know. First long video I made 😆. Congrats on 10 years and best of luck on your 2023 exit date. I hope it goes by in a flash for you and you are given the wisdom and perspective you need to make smart choices for you and your family! I know it’s not easy, so stay encouraged!
Never have I heard someone put my thoughts into words so accurately. Thank you for taking the time to post this video.
I’m so happy to hear that you could relate and thank you for watching. It was one is the first longer videos I’ve made and I put a lot of effort into it.
I remember him saying the "there are people who need the Army and people who the Army needs" great video Kayla! I spread it to a couple of my Lieutenants
Thanks for listening and sharing!!! That really was a good quote huh...
I retired after 20 years in the Army as an enlisted Soldier. My quality of life and mental health is so much better after getting out. It felt like being released from prison but with a pension. I even "reclaimed" some old hobbies I had to stop or suspend while I was in due to constantly being in the field for training, TDY/school, being deployed, and daily Army activities. These hobbies have helped kept me busy and not sitting around. That included going back to school and graduating with two business degrees from Arizona State University (Go Devils!). I've kept in touch with a few friends, not many, and the rest can go to Hell. I don't want to ever see these toxic people again. I'm thankful and pround for serving but the Army changed and not for the better. Good luck to everyone here as a civilian.
I’m currently transitioning out of the AF and this video was one of the better ones talking about reasons to get out of the military. I’ve really been struggling with what I see as a wasted 3 years to live in the UK instead of just separating back then. Thank you for reinforcing why I think it’s so important for me to get out!
Wishing you the best of luck on your transition! It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. I’m sorry you’re feeling like you wasted time. I think it’s definitely east to feel that way while you’re stuck, but from my end, looking back on everything, I’m so thankful things unfolded the way they did. I hope you’re able to find peace on the outside and pursue something that’s meaningful to you!
Very well-spoken!
Sounds like we both had the same unfulfilling experiences while in company command, sadly.
While I’m early in the transition process, my narrative has become that I love the Army for what it could be, not for what it is and what it’s likely to remain.
I’m quickly realizing just how many opportunities that there are in the civilian world, which is calming and reassuring to those of us who are repeatedly questioned as to our judgement in leaving the active military and all of the “benefits.”
Thanks for listening-and that seems like a great thought! A good way to try to maintain some perspective and not be overwhelmed my cynicism...which seems pretty common with junior officers.
Best of luck on your transition...I’ve found the same thing! It’s pretty amazing that possibilities are literally endless. It’s a completely foreign paradigm.
I am non commissioned officer in special forces (ranger ) in Greece and it’s been two years and I am only 24 and I think it was the worst decision I ever made in my life , my creativity is gone . My energy levels lower than ever , my mood , my anxiety , my mind always trips to the old days where I was working at a bar or a restaurant full of People , where is could exchange ideas and belly and be open with who I am and what I want .. all of that plus my family trying to always persuade me not to leave cause this is the best cause of economic stability and insurance .. what a joke .. right now I am considering leaving and go abroad to work at alps for winter season and from
There to organise my life as with what I want and what makes me happy .. I’ve been watching many of these videos these days and yours my dear what the one I find most reasonable value in ..
Sorry to hear you’re going through a rough patch right now. And I can understand and empathize with the drain you’re feeling. I get it. If you can leave and go do something else that gives you time to think and decompress, like going abroad to work in the winter, I think it’d be healthy for you. Get some time and distance from the military so that you can actually remove all of the chaos and distractions and consider what is the best path.
Hope things are going better for you and don’t give up hope! There’s definitely a lot to criticize, but I hope you’re able to find some positive things to cling to as well. I think it’s one of the best ways to stay sane. And find some positive friends who push you to be better and will pull you out of a negative rut. Stay encouraged!!!🙏🏽
I am sorry son but you do not live up to the Ranger creed then and you should get out.
She seems to be living her best life, one that's free, good luck CaptainKayla!
Yep.
100% yes. When I retired, I was good. Had my fill, time to move on.
I was pretty hard, back in those days. It only took a few days of Bacardi and Bikini's to see where I was really truly and honestly ready to go. In the end, You just outgrow it.
The army has a built in flaw of stifling your personal growth, and trying to "Keep you in your place". When you outgrow it, you know in your gut that it's time to go.
Between that and some of the horrible shit I'd been through, I'd had my fill, and then some.
I hear ya… thanks for sharing. And “outgrowing” it is a great way of putting it, I think. And it happens at different times for different people. Thanks for watching and enjoy your retirement!
Sis you are living my life right now. Watching your videos as I pack for my fifth deployment 😅 …when you said SATB, QTB, i nearly had a heart palpitation looool
Thanks for watching and hope the packing goes ok 🫠! Stay strong through the two hour long meetings and rehearsals for the rehearsals lol. But seriously, best wishes to you!!🙏🏽
Being in the military makes you respect true freedom. I've been in for 12 years, but I'm not leaving. I'm a medic and mission is still the same as it was when it started.
I'm tired of stupid shit, but I've grown numb to a lot of it.
Agreed on that point wholeheartedly… best of luck to you during your transition!
Ahh, just re-read your comment that you said you are *not* leaving. Best of luck in your continued career.
@@freereinveterans I'll still make the move one day haha. Thank you.
@@Ryanbmc4 lol no! You’re stuck forever!!
@@freereinveterans you're kinda not wrong. As I said before though.. I love my job and it hasn't changed. I don't like where we are going, but I choose to make it better in the small way I can I guess.
I respect you leaving and usually a mil talking to a mil saying "thank you for your service" is meant to be a joke, I mean it.
I remember finding this video 3 weeks after getting out and relating so much to it. Now, 6 months later, this video allows me to look back and see how my life and views have improved. Thank you,.
Glad to hear it man. Hope life is good and wishing you the best in this new chapter!
I got out of active-duty Navy in 2017 after two deployments and experiencing MST. I'm so happy that I stumbled across this video. It was difficult to experience MST but to explain to my midwestern family that I don't want to do the twenty year route was difficult. I finished my BA, start my MA on Monday and am slowly finding myself and allowing myself to go on my own route. It's a daily process but I'm glad that you found something that is right for you.
Congrats on getting out and starting down a new path and I’m sorry to hear about the experiences you had. I hope you can continue to heal and grow and I can understand how it was challenging to try to explain this to your family. I think it’s hard to explain it to a lot of people. People experience life in different ways and just because they had a great military experience doesn’t mean everyone had. And on top of that, people have different priorities in life. It’s what makes the world go round 🙂. Hope your masters program is going well and best of luck to you!
I retired from the Air Force. While it all worked out for me personally, I agree with what you have said here. Especially with the "this is the way that it has always been done" statement. I am coming up on a decade of being gone and I do not miss it in any form or fashion.
I definitely hear you on that part… That was a struggle for me to accept. Congrats on your 10 year mark and hope you’re enjoying retired life!
I'm currently trying to get out. I love this. I hate how much I've suppressed myself.
I am in now and this really resonates with me. I feel like I have given everything I had to the army for a decade. Now that I need the army to help me I feel like I got left holding the bag, going on back to back deployments feeling like I am holding on by a thread, and being told, “don’t tell me that or I might have to do something.”
Glad/sad to hear you could relate. I think a lot of people end up feeling what you described. Now it just becomes a matter of what you can or should do about it. And that seems to be the more difficult part. Wishing you the best of luck as you navigate this and hope you can keep your heart and mind open to life’s other possibilities. 🙏🏽
while i made some good lifelong friends and had good and bad experiences in the Army, I realized life is short and you should enjoy your life and do what you want to do. You shouldn't be berated daily by an NCO that never seen a brown Caribbean person from NYC, and i got tired of doing the fake smile and laugh whenever bigoted jokes were tossed my way.
You shouldn't have to beg or jump thru hoops for leave if you earned the days. You shouldn't overwork yourself over menial busy work like the army loves to do, oh we have a deadlined vehicle in the motorpool thats been there since desert storm. pmcs it again and again, cause they gotta check off a box on a paper that's gonna get lost anyway. Missing out on family events, kids being born, weddings, sickness, deaths, over a useless weeklong warrior stakes that means nothing. It ain't worth it. You can do better, and have a better sense of freedom, accomplishment, and make way more money on the outside.
4 and done, got out with an honorable and never looked back. Still in contact with my friends made to this day though.
So many familiar points here… There are a lot of problems and most of these you can find at any unit at any installation within any MOS. Glad you finished it out and have moved beyond it all! Sounds like you ultimately made the right decision.
I dont believe in friendship in the military unless you are Caucasian American because it's easy.
Buy yeah, I learned my lesson, people say stay away from combat MOS's for a good reason, this is true.
Bullies, hypocrisy, backstabbing, etc.
It's just business, another job that is all.
I will never have friend's in the military, before/during/after the military. I learned my lesson...cuz of me experiencing the combat MOS.
I am about to commission as an officer. i truly hate and love the ARMY. Idk what to do to get out because I still own 3 years, but thank you for this. Everything you said was on point.
Love/hate is how it seems to be. You’ll get through it, just stay encouraged and do your best to surround yourself with positive people who push you to be better. Easier said than done and it may sound lame, but it’s a way to make the time pass and gives you the best opportunity to have a good impact on those around you. I think that’s all you can hope for!
Thank you for this video. It's refreshing to find someone that shares the same feelings as I do about the Army. It helps to lessen the doubts about leaving. I'm also an Officer getting out after 12 years and I just couldn't do 8 more. Even though I'm Guard, it gets more and more demanding and draining as you move up in rank and I'm just over it honestly.
The silver lining for me is that I work as a DoD Civilian, so I'm going all in on that. I get to still support the Army, but I will have a huge increase in the quality of my life and more of my own personal time.
You are so welcome. Glad you liked it. Congrats on the 12 years and the DoD civ job. Hope you’re at least able to take advantage of some of the Army time buy-back for your retirement 🙏🏽. Either way, it sounds like a good life choice…quality of life for the win. Best of luck to you!!
Massively important message; and one most of us military folk need to embrace.
Thanks for taking the time to listen.
@@freereinveterans anytime!
All of this! I after my second enlistment I wrote myself a letter to not reenlist and personal reasons of my WHY. I don’t want the day to come in 2026 and get pressured to stay when I know deep down it’s time to move on, it will be at my 7 year mark going on 8 in the Army and need a different journey for myself by the time I hit my 30s. Hopefully I listen to my past self.
That’s a good idea… feelings change and I think we all get caught up in the moment and maybe forget the bad times and ride the good times in different phases of life and if that happens to be around the time where you’re reenlisting, well I guess you might find yourself in for a few more years 🤣. But yes, new journey in your 30s is a good way to go in my opinion!
About to leave after 7+ years myself. When people ask me why I'm leaving or what was the most frustrating part of my stay, I say it's the fact that I realized I just didn't wanna fucking be there. Thanks for the cash and emotional scars but peace out, bitches
Bye Felicia 👋🏽 Good job on following through with your decision. I think a lot of people probably don’t want to be there, and then they do nothing about it. Hope your transition goes well, and don’t forget to file your VA claim and apply for your GI Bill letter of eligibility 🙏🏽
I'm preparing to transition out soon. A few months left. Thanks for making this video. It really helped put my mind at ease. You seem like you're slowly finding your way back to yourself. That journey looks terrifying... and beautiful.
Congratulations on almost making it to the end! I’m glad you enjoyed the video, I put a lot of effort into it. And yes, everything you said is accurate. Sometimes I stop and think, oh yea, I’m still unemployed. And oh yea, I’m walking down a new path while feeling around in the dark. Intimidating and exhilarating. Double-edged sword. Without this possibility of complete failure, I don’t think I’d have the potential to truly pursue what’s meaningful to me. Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy your terminal leave!
yeah your right, I didn't suffer from any sleep issues until I joined that army. I also feel for you about having permission from everyone just to go on leave for 14 days, cant wait to get out and pursue a career that makes me hopefully happier.
Sounds familiar… too many sleep, addiction, and other issues. Wishing you the best as you figure out how to navigate the rest of you time in and make your exit plan! Stay encouraged.
It’s sad to see that the recruiting & retention dilemma is self-inflicted. Thank you for your service!! I hope you are enjoying your time as a full time civilian 🇺🇸❤️. 91B here as well..
Beautifully said. I’m also an officer (prior enlisted) and currently deployed thinking of calling it quits at 14 years. Although I’m not AD, the reserve side becomes more demanding and I’m becoming out of touch with this culture and lifestyle. I know I’ll miss wearing the uniform but it’s def a tough decision process. Seeing this video definitely came at a good time.
Appreciate the support and thanks for watching! I don’t blame you for wanting to leave… If you’re feeling even a bit unsure, there are some options where you can kind of keep a foot in the door with your commission so you maintain options. Hit me up if you want me to send you any info! Best of luck to you as you make your decision 🙏🏽
Was suppose to go into the navy on the 16th but unfortunately I got a dui felony but I feel that saved my life from becoming more miserable than it already felt. Enjoying life more and not taking anything for granted. 🙏🏼💪🏼
I’m sorry to hear that happened. We all make stupid decisions and sometimes we get caught and sometimes it can get other people killed. To me it often seems like things happen for a reason, so take this second chance you walked away with, learn from it, and go be better🙏🏽. Alcoholism is definitely a huge issue in the military in general and people (including myself) develop unhealthy dependencies on stimulants to get through the work week and then many people numb themselves during the weekend with alcohol. It’s a cultural thing and in many ways, it’s become a running joke, but bottom line, it ain’t good, that’s for damn sure. Destroys people’s health, families, careers, etc. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in bouncing back from this and moving on with a new perspective on life. Be well!
I love the ending!!! So fitting - freedom, happiness, the natural world. What you say about grad school is so shocking - I had no idea of the cost (in years). Super video - very professional, very informative!! Thank you!
Thanks for listening!! Glad you liked the ending...I thought about that one for a while 🤣. Trying to experiment creatively with making things more visually engaging so it’s not just my face talking at the camera the entire time. Yes the grad school thing is pretty appalling huh? Only a fool would sign up for that 😬🤣
@@freereinveterans Only a fool? Not necessarily. Some do like the Military service, not because they are fools, but they like the discipline that brings to their life in the Military. You seem more of a free spirit at heart that should have never got into Army. Air Force might have been a better choice for you. In the Air Force, you are more stable, less mobile, during the peace time.
There are many reasons people enter military service. Some do it for the FREE education, others do it for family tradition, and some do it because they want to see the world, etc. There are multitude of reasons why people serve. Some over stay their welcome and others enjoy it for the most part. Being deployed certainly makes it a lot harder on you and the family if you have one. It certainly isn't a normal life, but one should know what they are getting into. If one thinks that it will be like in the Civilian World, then they are gravely mistaken.
@@1flash3571 Don’t disagree with any of your points. Except the Air Force part lol! The Army was ultimately the best branch for me and for where I’m headed. My MOS and duty station choices were based purely off of the probability for deployment. That was 100% the reason I joined and it was what I thought I’d do in the Army. I don’t remember if I got into it in the video but while I appreciated the relationships, camaraderie, and travel, and while I appreciate tough, difficult work, I didn’t appreciate the monotony of (from my limited perspective) redundant, repetitive meetings that took up over 60-80% of my time as a company commander; what seemed like endless PowerPoint, MS excel, forms and documents; and being perpetually mired in bureaucratic (typically nonsensical, again, just my perspective) challenges that suck the life out of you. I’m leaving the military because in my own personal experience, I unfortunately felt that I was ultimately not serving anyone but myself (with a paycheck), those soldiers and friends I was able to have a direct personal impact on, and, lastly, in many ways, a very broken system that’s inundated with a great deal of organizational dishonesty hypocrisy (speaking more to the officer corps here) and a lack of personal responsibility and accountability for leaders. I personally observed this for years as a junior leader and you can see it now at the highest levels with Afghanistan. Again, this is my personal experience and I understand that many others have had a different experience. And how I try to honestly describe my experience isn’t meant as an insult to anyone who feels differently about their experience. The last thing I wanted was something easy, stable, and predictable. But, I personally was seeking hardship, instability, and unpredictability in a way that I felt legitimately contributed to something meaningful and truly served humanity in some way. Instead, the way I got hardship, instability, and unpredictability was largely as a result of organizational bureaucracy and what I perceived to be mistakes, carelessness, or incompetence. So, I’m off to find a way to serve that is a better fit. Right now for me, that looks like a year of living out of a bag volunteering internationally following van life.
So when I say “only a fool would sign up for that,” I’m not referring to someone being a fool for joining the Army. Nor am I trying to insult anyone. I’m referring to myself as the fool who signed up for a botched talent retention incentive. And I guess the point I’m trying to make is that military recruiters often take advantage of young people who are motivated and bright-eyed to offer them incentives that affect their lives 10 years down the road. I believe it’s foolish for an 18 or 22 year old to make a 10 year decision and it’s much better to take things one step at a time because it affords you much more career flexibility.
Anyway, I know that went on for a while, hope that response explains a bit more of the context behind the initial comment I made! Thanks for listening.
Brit. Have 2 weeks left in uniform before I leave the Army after 8 1/2 years.
This video resonates a lot, especially where it feels like you're stagnating and having your whole life managed by people who are at best apathetic and at worst simply don't care. The work's also very unfulfilling and serves no purpose at all other than to keep you busy. The harder you work and the more of an asset you make yourself, the more likely you are to have your goodwill abused. It hit the point last year where I'd just had enough of being miserable and a whipping boy for a bunch of people whose only concern is looking good to their bosses. There's no incentive anymore to continue putting literally every other part of my life (my relationships, personal goals etc) on hold for an organisation that frankly couldn't care less.
Scared but also a lot more excited than I am if I would be staying in.
Thanks for the comment man, I guess you've only got a couple more days left before you're out now! Totally understand how you feel. I felt the same, and still feel that way in many ways. I also feel like there were a lot of opportunities I missed out on just because I wasn't aware they existed, which is also shitty. In any case, wishing you the best of luck with this new chapter. You'll finally be free, which is awesome and also terrifying. Stay encouraged and look for other people doing the things you want to do so you can connect with them and seek mentorship. Time to go explore and see a world full of possibilities!!
@@freereinveterans thank you. It was my last day yesterday. Feels very surreal to finally be out and in charge of my own life again!
@@Theaggressivesalad Hell yea!!!
Great video! . .About 2 years after I graduated college I decided to enlist in the army (4 year contract )and not commission for a multitude of reasons, long story short flash forward to now I have 2 years left in contract and fully intend to ETS due to 90 percent of the reasons why you decided to leave, I couldn’t resonate more with everything you had to say about the army. I’ve spent a short time in, but I am already so eager to leave, no hard feelings but I want the freedom and control again. Again great video. This is my 3rd time watching it now lol
Thanks for watching and I'm glad to hear it! If you ever feel like going deeper down the rabbit hole to reaffirm your decision, here are a couple more articles I've written you might relate to:
acaptainslog.com/confessions-of-a-center-of-mass-commander-reflections-on-listening-learning-to-say-no-and-being-a-joe-hugger/
acaptainslog.com/major-malfunction-part-one-predictability-is-dead/
I just joined the Army and still have 2.5 years ‘til I ETS, but I want to get out so bad. I consider myself a creative, and this kind of lifestyle just ain’t it.
On the brighter side, the Army has helped me jumpstart my life here in the US, and all the frustrations I am experiencing right now has made me realize what my ideal life is - just a simple, routinary life with my family, that’s it. As long as our needs are met, I’m happy.
Sigh. My life… 😌😂
I hear you, it definitely helps you get some perspective, and that’s a good thing. 2.5 years does sound like a long time but when it’s over with, it’ll feel like the time passed so quickly.
Glad it’s helped you with life here in the US. That’s a great thing and you can always look back on this experience and be thankful for that, despite all the flaws. As you already know, nothing is ever perfect so you gotta take the bad with good.
Wishing you the best as you finish out your time. Try to stay encouraged, do your best, and surround yourself with friends who push you to be better! You can do it 🔥
I’m still in this on the enlisted side. I don’t agree with this military life and have already dealt with toxic leadership. I just got a job switch and know that I am set for life, but it’s been really difficult to adapt cause I like my autonomy, privacy, and my own individual thinking. I’m slowly being able to work around it, hence using the regs to my advantage as my small rights when being mistreated. I hope to see more of your content because even though you were commissioned I feel very valid and hope to see more videos like this.
Sorry to hear that you’ve had negative experiences but glad that you’ve found your way to a better job where you have some more freedom…I’m sure that’s a improved your quality of life a lot. Not sure how many other military commentary videos I’ll make, but I write about this stuff and post to social media much more frequently vs videos. In any case, good luck to you and best wishes for the rest of your time in the military 🙏🏽. Thanks for watching.
Best decision to served 25 years; fully retired @ 45 years old; pension, passive income on my properties. Sacrificed early; so you can relaxed later in life concept is awesome.
All the best everyone!
I went from enlisted to officer. Currently at 12, the army life does wear on you because it seems very silly when you get older and more mature. I’m hanging in there to 20-25 though
@@gtoguy3511 it does have a lot of wear and tear; and in your case at 12 years-in, just keep going one step at time. You're downhill; use it to your advantage. The ultimate goal is finish line; 20 years (pension/healthcare) = FREEDOM. Writing from Korea enroute to Japan with family; byproduct of 20+ YOS. All the best my friend!
So glad it worked out well for you. Best wishes!
I spent almost 30 years in the military and found it was a challenging fit. I kept saying to myself that the institution loved outside the box people who were creative and took care of their people. Like an addict I kept hoping for change. What needed to change was me. Don’t regret most of my time but appreciate all you’re saying because you’re saying it for yourself and that’s never a bad thing.
Simon Senik book, The Infinite Game speaks to many of your points.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. 30 years is a very long time and it sounds like everything worked out just fine for you. No regrets here on my end either… I’m familiar with Sinek, but I haven’t heard of that specific book before!
You really put a lot of thought into your decision and that is fantastic. I know some people made a quick emotional decision to get out vs actually putting the thought into it. As a Catholic who has reverted back to my faith, I would like to add that if the military, or anything, becomes a distraction on your prayer life/relationship with God, then it is time to move on to something that will not become a consuming distraction. Unfortunately, a lot of things in the military become EXTREMELY consuming and strongly affects life outside of the uniform. I would also add that a lot of the qualities the military instills in people are absolutely great in civilian world. Like showing up on time, working hard to job completion, teamwork, not spazzing out in stressful situations…
Thanks for watching and taking the time to share your thoughts… I completely hear you on the “consuming distraction” piece. It is not easy and I think these kinds of internal conflicts manifest themselves in people in different ways. But in most cases, there’s some sort of negative impact-even if it’s not readily apparent or visible.
To your second point…I’m learning that as we speak! Grateful for my experience and the lessons I was able to learn about working with others and myself.
Thank you! I got 2 more years and I feel like I’ve been fighting my way thru this contract. I try hard to be the best I can be and its not good enough. I kept getting in trouble, I kept being labeled as the bad kid, I fought to keep my place in an organization that wasn’t made for me. I looked at pictures from 3 years ago, my whole appearance went from vibrant, happy, healthy to this pale, blacken eyes ghost of a person. I love my job, and there’s people who are in who are great. They seem to be fitting in the navy mold that I can’t seem to grasp. I hate when people say it’s an “easy paycheck” bc it’s farrrrr from easy. I’m kicking and screaming to reach the finish line of my contract. hope my hard work will benefit me when I get out.
Hang in there man and keep trying. It just sounds like it's not a good fit for you, which means this will be a shorter, temporary chapter in your life. And that's ok. Keep pushing to be better, do your best, and remember at the end of the day the only thing you can control is yourself, your thoughts, and your behavior. At the end of it, hopefully you have some solid friends, some education benefits, and you can be proud that you didn't give up. Two years ain't shit--it'll be gone before you know it!
I'll never forget my first day out of the Navy, everything just felt lighter & I felt a relief in my breathing. I was burnt out bad the military, I remember the moment of clarity when I decided not to reenlist.
Glad it worked out for you and hope life is good!
I kept telling myself you can only change it from the inside. Then one day I realized that just isn't the case. But this is good stuff
Agreed on that one... at least it seems like you can change it to a degree where it’s lasting or impactful on a larger scale beyond just changing/influencing individuals.
Awesome video and perspective. I’m almost exactly where you were mentally. I also run away to the woods to be free lol. Can’t wait to share my own story like this one one day.
Thanks for listening and glad you could relate! And yes, sharing it is sometimes the best part 🙂
Following here from Instagram; your words touched my heart. I never regretted joining the Army and left the organization. It made me who I am and now I am enjoying my flexibility in my career and pursuing nursing.
Well I’m glad to hear that 🙏🏽. Thanks for taking the time to listen. Glad you’re enjoying your life and seeking to challenge yourself on a different path!
Excellent video I did eight years active in the rest reserves in the U.S. Navy. I can identify with many of the feelings you stated in your video, especially the last one in which we stay in artificial environments, doing artificial work and getting paid to seemingly go into debt.. I love these things also manifest themselves and surveying society but again you’re right with civilians you can just leave not so easy in the military. I wish your journey well and I wish for you to find yourself in the niche you want to carve out for the rest of your existence Good job girl.
Thanks for your service and for commenting 🙏🏽. Weird how we can all kind of relate, huh? Appreciate the support and I’m doing really well right now! It’s been an epic journey with highs and lows but I’m loving it out here!! Best wishes to you and thanks again for watching.
@@freereinveterans thank you for your service. Yes, a lot of vets that leave the tservice say the same things you do. If I can leave you with one extra piece of advice. Consider the reserves I only did it because I was deathly afraid after I got out, I would be able to find a job one week in a month two weeks a year adds up and when you’re 60 and you qualify for retirement pension, my 2000 dollars a month does seem to come in handy for retirement purposes. all the best to you captain feel free to reach out if you need some advice or just to talk
@@whclcdr appreciate the advice… I’ve got it on my radar but haven’t found a good fit yet! I’ll keep an eye out though, thank you 🙏🏽
OMG. You look exactly like Alanis Morissette. I thought you were her. 😳 Anyway, good luck on your new chosen career. Bless you.
lol, I've heard that a few times and don't really see it, but appreciate the sentiment anyway
do you also sing?
@@ManongdoMJI’d shatter some windows if I started singing, you definitely don’t want that 😆
Wow I have been in counseling & taken meds for PTSD truthfully, I'm sick of all of it. I found your sight by luck just watching you do that little dance at the end of your video is exactly what I have been wanting to do & feel the freedom that shows on your face. I really hope you have more videos coming out I find them very honest & educational they have given me some answers that I have been searching for. Thank you.
Thanks for the comment, missed it somehow and it got buried. My friend Sophie and I are planning to start posting more videos, the progress has just been slow because we’re trying to do our best with it. Hope things are getting better-hang in there!
I have 11 months left of my 6 year contract, I was dead set on wanting to do 20 years. But since I got promoted to SGT (even before that) I've started to not wanna do it anymore, makes me feel like a quitter because this was always my dream, but now I'm not sure what to do. All my higher ups think I still wanna be in but I'm not sure anymore.
Totally normal feelings and normal to feel conflicted, I think. Since you're enlisted, I'd say a break in service is manageable, much more so than it is for officers. So you have that going for you.
If you want to try to experiment a bit, I would consider getting out and doing the reserves. Go to school with the GI Bill or start a new trade or career and spend some time on the outside getting your feet under yourself and exploring a bit, while still keeping a foot in the door in some part of the Reserve Component. That gives you a healthcare security blanket, you're still earning years towards retirement, and you're getting a bit of extra income.
Try it out for a little bit, a few years maybe. See how you like life on the outside. Do you miss Active Duty? If so, finish what you started on the outside (school, short-term career goals, certifications, etc) and come back to AD. The downside is, you'll be "behind," but I think that's hardly a disadvantage. You'll have life experience, you'll have outside professional experience, and you'll have had a change to explore other things besides the military. I think these are invaluable.
That's just my 2 cents, but don't take my word for it. I would honestly get in touch with some of the reserve or guard units in your region and try to find some senior NCOs who did something similar, rotated between Reserve Component and Active Duty or had a break in service. Talk to them and seek guidance/mentorship. See what their experience was and if they'd do it again, and what they'd do differently.
It's definitely hard to tell if you should stay Active Duty if that's been your only experience and if all of the people around are also AD and they're telling you to stay. Get some different opinions in the mix from people who have lived these experiences and you might learn something new!
Wishing you all the best as you make your decision--I know it's not an easy one!
Another resource that might interest you: acaptainslog.com/tour-of-duty-a-little-known-way-to-exercise-control-over-your-career/
You have inspired me to make my own video stressing these issues. My unit is like a hospital where everybody just wants to leave.
Ugh, doesn’t sound like a good place to be… I can understand how a unit becomes like that though…
@@freereinveterans I know for sure that I am getting out of the Army now. I feel like I can actually stop caring too much about dumb things, or little things.
@@fredmcelroy2839 good for you. Congrats on making your decision. One step closer. Hit me up if you want any reserve component info. It’s something good to look into as you’re transitioning to maximize options and make for a soft landing as a civilian 🙏🏽
Great Video! When you said, "I can just bear it and get to my 20", whoooo buddy! I had those same thoughts and they were incredibly depressing! Did my 7yrs AD AF, and bounced. Now a homeowner, collecting VA Compensation, applying for VR&E, and continuing my Financial Literacy! Life Is Good!!
@@MultiRekrap hell yea! Get that VR&E! Glad to hear life is good
@@freereinveterans Please keep doing what you're doing! Your Content from YT to your site is amazing. Like you said in this vid, there are a Lot of Vets with the same thoughts and feelings as us, and are looking for Fellowship.
@@MultiRekrap Appreciate hearing that man! Progress has been slow lately, it’s just that season of life at the moment. But definitely not planning to stop 😃
Man I feel just like this and I’m not even in the military. I’ve been thinking of joining in an attempt to shake this feeling & in pursuit of purpose. But it seems no better than civilian life
To me, it seems like a career or professional goals can't necessarily provide that--perhaps it's much deeper. But, I know that for many people, work does provide a *part* of their of their "purpose," so to speak. I think for a many of us (and for many in the military), the problem comes when your *entire* identity and sense of purpose comes from your military service. It certainly is a part of you, and it always will be. But when the military is your entire identity, and you finally leave the military (everyone does at some point whether it's retiring at 20 years or a three-year enlistment) people sometimes have an identity crisis and have a difficult time re-integrating into society. Not saying whether or not you should join the military, it may be a good fit for a chapter in your life. You just have to do some real thinking and decide for yourself 🙏
Civilian life is heaven compared to the military. At least in civilian life you have a choice of what you choose to do, in military there is no choice only obedience and a lot of abuse.
Civilian corporate life can be just as bad if not worse than certain active duty military jobs. Both have pros and cons for sure, it really depends on who You* are as a person.
I am very happy to hear that my feelings and perspectives are not completely unique. Thank you for sharing and being authentic
Sometimes that’s all you need to know…you’re not crazy. Glad you could relate, thanks for watching and commenting 🙏🏽
Thank you so much for you amazing experience and expression! You've helped me think of what I would like to do!
Erick, glad to hear that. Thanks for taking the time to watch! Best of luck to you as you map out your own life 🙏🏽
GRADSO sounds good for people who want to make the Army a career. I spent 9 years in the Marine Corps, then I got out in 2018 and joined the Army in 2020. It has its ups and downs, but overall, I've enjoyed my time in the Army. When I came back in, I had the intention of retiring. What I will say, is that I do enjoy what the Army has provided me, but I also understand some people do get shafted, and its not for every one. You earned yourself a sub. Also, I will say, that I am a SSG that works at a Regimental level right now. I have a bachelors and I did think about going the commissioned route, but when I considered it, I had too much time in service. Now, based on what I know, what I've observed, I respect officers, but I am glad I am enlisted. I do find fulfillment in what I do.
I’m going to watch this after pt, I’m in a weird place personally, that in the first minute I felt I related
🙏🏽 Sorry to hear you’re in a weird place-but hope the video helps! Thanks for watching.
I left active duty in very late 2019. I’ve continued to serve in the Guard since then, and I like it for the most part.
That said, I watch this video probably once a week. I feel the constant push and pull between loving soldiering and the infantry and thinking I should make it my whole life again, and then hating the Army as an institution and culture. I love the freedom I have in life now and I’ve grown a lot. I want to be a lot of things and a soldier is one of them. It’s tough.
Thanks for making this video and all your other content. It’s really well made, and I appreciate your perspective.
Thanks very much for watching and taking the time to comment… I can definitely sympathize with the two directions you feel pulling at you. Both are valid and should be considered and it sounds like you’ve been able to find some kind of balance in the Guard. I really wanted to be a soldier too. And well, here I am: In a van down by the river 🤣🤣. So glad you can relate to some of the content. Honestly was a pain in the ass for me to learn but I really did try hard to make it turn out nicely…even if I did find a ton of errors after I already posted haha. Anyway, really appreciate the nice comment. Thank you.
I can relate to leaving because of a tipping point. My job fixing trucks that sit outside all year in upstate New York weather made me feel like I was wasting my time. Nothing ever stayed fixed and it wasn’t fulfilling. I originally joined to get away from home but I found myself trying to go back. Then there was free college and now I have no urge to use it. Ultimately I still haven’t found myself or what I want to do long term so if there’s anyone that was in my position I’d appreciate advice as to how you over came this…the only thing I can come up with is stepping out and trying things but it hasn’t been great as of late
I think what you already mentioned is a big part of it, stepping out and trying things. I guess it kind of depends on individual preference, but for me personally, it helps to approach situations like this with some kind of plan because then it feels like there’s a bit of structure and less chaotic or floating around aimlessly. I usually feel better about the direction I’m going if it feels like I’m progressing in some way.
Kind of hard to explain in a comment now that I’m trying to actually explain it, but I guess what I’m saying is, some kind of strategic approach/a process for determining what you’re best suited to do in the world is a good way to go about it. Wishing you the best of luck as you try to figure these things out! I’m working on some more resources for veterans and transitioning servicemembers who are trying to find their place in the world so if something like that ever interests you, I’m sharing updates on social media.
I couldy agree more I was feeling so miserable and depressed at work not being able to do my job as a medic and the way things were being run .I started to volunteer as a firefighter emt on my free time but it wasnt enough i was still depressed at work, my leadership had issues with me volunteering as well when it didn't interfere with work at all. Until i realized that it wasn't worth it continuing and living like this hating myself and my job so I choose to get out. I recently went on my terminal leave and have a job as an emt starting in a couple days and i couldn't be more exited. Thank you for sharing your testimony it has definitely helped seeing that I wasnt alone.
So glad you have found a place that seems to be a better fit! Good for you, I think most of us are still trying to figure that out. And for me, it’s been a continual evolution. Wishing you the best on the start of this new chapter and hope you’re able to learn, grow, and find community!
what a wonderful series of videos. I love the internet for making these "portholes" available for all of us riding this rock (earth) through the icy vacuum of the cosmos. Your camera presence is awesome and your story, compelling. Thank you for sharing!
Really appreciate the comment, thank you so much. I definitely put a lot of effort into the video even though I had some technical difficulties haha.
In the beginning of the video when you were talking about how what you are doing reduces your ability to contribute I really felt that. I have been in for 17 years and am going to 20 but I have been feeling I should have left after 5 or so years.
I think that a lot of people don’t realize that the system isn’t meant for personal progression. I always talk about how the Army espoused values but doesn’t actualize values. I got to the point where I stopped caring and I have been open about just treading water… to everyone… raters, leaders, everyone. And nothing negative happened. In fact it has been the opposite. I have spent more time with my family and actually become happier in the Army. And my evals… more or less the same. Less contributions and achievements highlighted (because I won’t write them for someone else to copy paste) but senior rating pretty much the same. That either means that I have been garbage for a while or the rating system isn’t actually based on the metrics they say.
I just cracked up. I can’t imagine being in that long. I remember becoming really frustrated with people who I felt were “terminal *insert rank*” whether it was E6, LTC, or whatever and just shamming. Because it was easy to think, ok I’m here busting my ass and staying late and these people are like, “I’m outta here,” at 1700. The more and more I think about it, it’s like, who can blame them? I knew I had an expiration date on my time and i was able to sprint (more or less) to the end. But if you’re in it for the long haul, is it really worth losing your family and life over…? Yea, probably not. So while the responsibility was on me to manage the personalities in my company, I think it’s worth having some empathy and being a bit of a realist, and realizing that not everyone wants to kill themselves working. And for me, knowing that my time was going to be much shorter certainly made it easier. Whereas other people are running a marathon. So funny about your evals staying pretty steady 😂. Interesting experiment that sounds like it worked out alright for you. Congrats on making it to 17, you’re almost there!
Hey Kayla, you’re awesome. This video put into words how I’ve been feeling recently. Props for trusting your heart and getting out. I get out in 6 months. You’re inspiring!
Thanks for listening, and appreciate the comment. Hope your transition goes ok and you have some good things lined up for yourself! Best of luck to you as you start a new chapter 🙂
I did 6 years myself, I got out and used my gi bill to go to college. That was the best decision I ever made. If you get out, use your gi bill. Get free education even if you think you didn't need it. It opens doors, lots of doors. Plus I learned more about myself in college than I did while in the military which was very unexpected. I also squeezed out two bachelor's degrees out of my gi bill before I exhausted it. I sometimes wonder if I should have stayed for my twenty since had I done that, I would have retired 5 years ago. But I now have a career I will retire from in 10 years and I own my house. I would never trade my time in the military for anything, but getting out can be a good choice to as long as you do it right. Thank you for this video, it was insightful.
Sounds like you figured it out and created an awesome path for yourself! I’m in school now and using education benefits, which I’m very thankful for. Glad it all worked out for you and I feel the same. Wouldn’t trade my time, but getting out was the right choice for me. Best wishes to you and Merry Christmas!
@@freereinveterans Merry Xmas to you as well, also don't be afraid to explore the veteran home loan program, that program makes it so much easier and a lot cheaper to buy a house then a traditional home loan, my loan officer told me the reason for that is because veterans have an extremely low default rate so that's why the government backs it and gives us such a great deal on it, because us vets always do what we say we're going to do lol
@@Rocky-or4rz I’ll take a look at it!
I appreciate this candid feedback. I was enlisted and spent 6 years noticing the same things…it wasn’t for me. I realize I had NO CONTROL over my life when I was Iraq I was extended TWICE. I spent 1.5 years in Iraq.
I hear you man. Different strokes for different folks, but for me, it just ain’t worth it. Thanks for your service and hope life is treating you well!
Glad I’m searching for this
Thanks for sharing this. I retired in 2019. The best time of my life was spent in the mud with boys, bleeding and fighting the enemy to the death. I miss my men so much (I was in the Marine infantry), but the institution is/was broken and truly harmful to the individual. It took so much from me in the end and I left very resentful, sad, and wondering how my life might have been different had I taken an alternate path. You are very perceptive, attractive, and full of life. I hope things are working out for you.
Congrats on retiring and thanks for the comment 🙏🏽 And agreed on the institution. Some challenges will just never go away and all you can do is manage them the best you can at the level you’re at.
@@freereinveterans touché. By the way, you should teach me how to shuffle :).
Hi, Kayla. Thanks for the great video summing up the reasons someone might want to leave. I was enlisted for 6 years and the portion were you talk about people being deeply unhappy touched me very deeply. I was one of those people, and I developed an alcohol problem as a result. I did ETS eventually, but it took me many years to get the help I needed to overcome the emotional problems I developed from the Army. I am just glad I made the decision to leave when I did and reach out to get the help I needed to be happy and not dependent on substances.
Thanks for watching and sharing your experience. Glad you got the help you needed and are in a better place in life now! Sounds like it was a long road, but well worth it, as it seems to bee for many others in situations similar to yours. Wishing you the best in life and hope you have a Merry Christmas!
I am at 12 years and I am trying very hard to make these 8 years. There has been about 2-3 times since I been in that I didn’t like who I was becoming. Many ups and downs, but lot more downs. We’ll see if I’ll reach 20.
Thanks for the comment. That’s a long time and I’m sure it’s not been easy… I don’t know if you’re considered it at all, but if you get to a point where you’re just over it, but you feel you’ve invested too much, perhaps it’s worth looking into some reserve component options. When I was on active duty, I had no idea that there were so many interesting, off-the-wall opportunities out there. Sometimes when you’re done, you’re DONE. But depending on how things go for you, there might be something that’s a good fit. If you ever want any info, we’ve got a few overview vids and articles we can share with you, just let me know. Stay encouraged and genuinely wishing you the best as you figure out how to navigate these next several years!
I admire your ability to self reflect and observe the big picture. I don’t look for friends but it sounds like you would make a good one. Keep pushing.
Appreciate the comment and support-I’m out here trucking along! Best wishes to you as well.
Such an incredible message and definitely one of wisdom.
And thank you for taking the time to listen.
@@freereinveterans I watched your video, I believe my dad was listening in on it too, he retire after 28 years in the coast guard, if you did 10 years already and bailing out at that point, especially if you were not getting passed over, wasn't a wise choice. You can do 10 more years standing on your head and you're still young with one heck of a security blanket that stays with you for the rest of your natural days. And before you or anyone else ask if I was ever in the answer is no, I'm finishing up my masters. I have no plans of going into the military, but I do have the option. I do thank you for the heads up about the difficulties of traveling into Canada, that is where my mother and her side of the family all reside, that will keep the military option off at the edge of the table, plus add the fact that the US military is over run with political correct Nazi's (according to my dad), really doesn't make it an appealing career choice for me.
@@oveidasinclair982 Understandable point with respect to the 10 years, but one that I still think isn’t always valid and can be a slippery slope. 10 years is an incredibly long time and maybe my perspective is partially generational, but I see forfeiting 10 years of my one precious life for a security blanket as one of the worst decisions I could make. If it’s just for a security blanket, there are 100 other ways I could find a security blanket. I really see it as partially a fear-based decision. And to me, there is so much more to life than a security blanket. To me, staying in for an extra 10 years is simply an easy option that requires the least adjustment, change, and work to completely pivot create a new life. Now if I were loving my work in the military, that would be a different story. But to your point, I do think the number of years you’ve served is most certainly something that must be considered-particularly if you have family and financial obligations. So I realize it’s not a trivial matter.
For me, I haven’t started a family or bought a house or anything of that sort, so I fortunately have the ability to be much more flexible. And I am thankful for that. But I just would never be able to bring myself to stay in a career simply for the benefits. Unless I was in a situation that required me to do so.
I have friends who left the military, went straight for an MBA and are now making 1.5 to 2 times what we were making in the military. So that’s one other way that-in my mind-the argument to stay for an extra 10 years isn’t always valid. For me, at this time I have no interest in corporate work or want anything to do with finance, or large bureaucratic organizations so I definitely will not be taking that route. At least for now.
And yes… Canada is honestly just a pain in the ass. Not overly difficult but when you’re filling out five forms and getting approval from three levels to take a three hour drive across the border, it can definitely get under your skin!
Thanks for this video. I left Marine Corps bootcamp after 4 weeks of training with a fellow recruit who at the time was on fire watch duty with me. We discussed how deeply we regret joining and planned a way to get out of the military. So went through with it and a week later we got a ticket home. A few days before we leave 2 officers who signed our papers told me to my face that I’m just a quitter and when I go back I’m just going to be a failure in life and a disappointment to my parents. They weren’t screaming and poking fun of the way you look or anything like the Drill Instructor. Keep in mind I was only an 18 yo kid. After this encounter I’ve felt I probably made the best decisions ever because my brothers friends told me that there are many toxic leaders in the military who treat their men like trash and cared more about their career than their own men. Looking back a year later, I not regret my decision at all I had a pretty good job at the moment and most importantly I had my freedom and even my parent was proud that I decided to get out of that corrupt organization. I don’t care if I’m considered a quitter in the military world, I was one of the few that actually have the guts to stand up for myself.
Glad things worked out for you… It’s one of those decisions that’s deeply personal for everyone and people will have preconceived notions and pass judgement regardless of whether you stay in, get out, etc. Best of luck to you as you continue finding your way in the world 🙏🏽
“A lot of good Marines get out because the bad ones stay in”
I am more than halfway through my enlistment and I feel so unfulfilled. I am tired of trying to act a certain way to fit in. It felt as if I literally I literally signed up for high school all over again. I do not care how tough the civilian world is. I just wanna do my time honorably and be myself for once.
@@veezy3008 Keep on trucking and do your best-you’ll make it soon enough. Try to find positive outlets and surround yourself with positive people. 🙏🏽
Justify it, however you think makes you feel good. I claimed that title and proud of it. You didn't. This lady did 8 years, you didn't even finish boot camp. You don't rate weighing in.
No, you are just a quitter, and you wasted a lot of taxpayer money.
I get out in 1 month, the military is Mentally draining and I have been contemplating staying in since I cannot find any jobs and I keep getting denied job after job. Seeing this video helped me to refocus on getting out and believing in myself. Thank you for the insight !
@@moev1989 you’re so welcome! Congrats on ETSing. If you’re struggling to find work at the moment, I’d say one thing to consider to help with a “softer landing” (especially if you don’t have a good support system) is the reserve component. I’ve got another vid on those opportunities, if that’s interesting to you. Probably not what you want to hear right now and while it’s prob not exciting, it might be practical as you’re trying to find your way. Also if you’re having trouble finding work, look at the internship and trade programs thru TAP! Wishing you the best and if you can’t find that video, let me know!
@@freereinveterans I did try to go to the reserves unfortunately, I was disqualified due to medical reasons, and I was also denied skills bridge because my shop was going to be short manned so that prevented me from getting a job using the program hiring our heroes. Thanks for the advice anyways.
@@moev1989 damn… that really sucks. There are a lot of programs out there for after you’re out as well as I’m sure you’re aware. It may not be an easy road, but you’ll find something! 🙏🏽
Amazing breakdown! Thankyou for your honesty and tactfulness. Amazing that you’re creating a life you really love:)
Appreciate the kind comment, thank you! 😊
I joined the Navy right after high school in 1967. My recruiter promised me I would get the job I wanted and he kept his word. I entered the Navy as an HR (Hospital Recruit), went to "A" school right after boot camp (both in San Diego CA) and then to the Field Medical Service School at Camp Pendelton to learn how to work with Marines in a war zone, then to the Naval Hospital back in San Diego for a required minimum of time before leaving for my one and only 12 month tour in South Vietnam looking after the health needs of my Marines. I liked it so much, I stayed for 26 years (1967-1993). The biggest advantage to staying in the military for 20 years or more is when you become Medicare elgible, your military health insurance plus traditional Medicare combine and you don't get medical bills anymore. I was on kidney dialysis for 5 years waiting for a donor and my dialysis cost $60K every month and my kidney transplant cost $400K. I never got any bills. My son only did 4 years and got out. Had he stayed for 20 years, he would be getting a pension now. We both went in at age 19 and would be elgible for pensions at age 39. Unlike the civilian sector, military retirees don;t have to wait until their 60's to get a pension.
All very good points and I’m so glad it worked out well for you and especially your medical care 🙏🏽. I’m sure it’s not easy and the benefits you got from the military really made the difference. Thanks for the comment and best wishes to both you and your son!
I by no means agree with everything u said, but you did raise some valid points. Especially observing how unhappy a lot of people are in the military. I wasn’t aware of that
While your points are valid 100%, because they are your points of view and reference. I have no idea what it is like to be on active duty today, I was an infantry officer for 25 years and that guy is long gone. He is another person 15 years later so don’t worry. I retired in 2009 at a vicious point in the war. I felt like I had used up all 9 of my cat lives between 2001 and 2009. I was frazzled and on edge after my time in combat. Couldn’t focus and all the rest but my leadership wanted me to go forth for promotions etc. That being said, right or wrong my life is considerably different and much better at this point. Ten years after leaving active duty I completely retired, to our small farm in the mountains of NC. I think you think your perspective is unique. It isn’t and you will find many if not more of the problems you think are military problems are not unique to the military, but good luck! You will find what you find on the other side. You sound a little like the person who just found out no one in 100 years including our family will remember anything about us. It is a rude awakening but you will wake up one day and see what matters. Good luck! I mean that.
Sounds like you’ve found your place in the world, and I’m glad it’s all worked out for you. It’s not so much I think my perspective is unique. I figured a lot of people would relate, because many of these issues came up in conversations with NCOs, bosses, soldiers, etc. It was more so that there’s (at least according to my experience) a very strong, one-sided narrative, and what seemed to be a lack of acknowledgement of many of these problems that are contributing to recruitment and retention issues. An institution seeking to improve and adapt must change, and critical feedback is one of the things I think can help drive change. Not that anything shared here is going to change a damn thing, but perhaps reach people at an individual level so they can have another data point to form their own ideas about some of these problems, and decide how that informs the way they want to live their life. Surely most of these problems aren’t unique to the military, as you mentioned. I do think some are exacerbated by the military environment though. Sincerely, best wishes to you too! Life is treating me well out here so far.
Thank you for speaking your truth. As someone considering enlisting at an older age this really drives home the point that grass is not always greener on the other side of the civilian world. Wish there were more videos like yours so younger folks enlisting would take it in when considering enlistment time commitments. Once locked in the secret few acknowledge is that one must be ready to put up with everything. Yet how tempting it is to just go in for 6 years when presented with a $50k bonus that the army just started offering on some MOS…
I appreciate you watching and thanks for commenting. You know, I don’t regret my decision or career path at ALL. It’s made me who I am and shaped my life in a way that I’m very satisfied with. But, I’m also very glad I left when I did. I also think this is a great thing for young people to be aware of. And maybe not so much to deter this altogether, but to just exercise caution, seek mentorship and guidance (from someone other than a recruiter LOL), and to seek a path in the military where you try to preserve as much flexibility as possible. And if nothing else, you can at least be mentally prepared for some of the cultural/professional phenomena you may encounter. $50k is an awesome bonus and for me, my undergrad being paid for and the GI Bill for grad school have/will put me in an advantageous financial position that I’m very thankful for. But I’m sure glad I ain’t doin 20 years!!!! 🤣 That would 100% NOT be worth it for my personal situation. But for some, it is. And I get that. Good luck with your decision, I hope everything works out for you!
Definitely understand alot of this active duty wasnt for me either it was only after i got out that i realized being in can actually hurt personal growth just as bad it was almost like a band aid to cover up things i should know about myself for a while and things that really make me happier in life when you have that freedom to make your own choices
I hear you! Sounds like you’ve been able to find your way.
I did 20 years for the retirement when they offered it ( it has been changed to a 401k you could earn or set up yourself without serving). I knew this was my best chance to get some kind of sustainability after serving, I live a retired lifestyle at a young age. I served my country with honors and enjoy not doing much as a fairly decent age. The issues youtuber mentioned in her top ten about mental stressors are mainly because the military does not encourage seeking help, in fact it is looked down upon for determining fitness for duty unofficially in most cases. SO service members suffer from many of the issues this TH-camr mentioned. I think when joining you have to decide if a structured life is what you want and why are you joining. My pride toward the honor of serving dwindled away from the backdoor politics and cover ups that I saw way to much and had so swallow my morals on what is right and wrong on and focus on the end goal. I regret some of that after the service, but I can lice a comfortable life that I earned the hard way. Overall I think if you don't want a structured life and don't consider some of the pros and cons of those contracts and you have other options to be successful I would recommend try those other options first. Also remember if you don't like what you are doing in the service go to your command and ask them to be removed from service instead of getting n trouble, it is a volunteer service after all.
Thank you for making this video. I found so much joy in leaving the active duty and later reserves. I wish you the best in your journey!
Thanks very much, appreciate the love. Glad you’ve found your way post-military. Thank you for watching and leaving a comment 😃
Thank You Kayla for serving and your insightful experience with the Army. I am sure you will find your way in the world and flourish. Thank goodness the United States doesn't have conscription like some other countries. My 2186 days in the Navy was by design, a means to an end. Two years of training followed by 4 years of service and an honorable discharge provided a foundation to pursue a meaningful life in the civilian world. Stay true to yourself and I wish you the best of luck!
Appreciate that! Thank you for the kind message. Glad you found your place outside of the military and thanks for sharing 🙂.
Man....you hit the nail on the head with this video. There are too many seniors who accept the status quo so they can move up. I will say that it wasn't always this way......before the war, training management was way better. And we did not waste time on stupid.
Sad to see this stuff continue to happen…
Good on you, Kayla G. I'm glad you had the guts to make the move, and step into the unknown. " Ten years..might as well go twenty" .., yeah, I've been there. "Not an optimal fit" ..I get that, too. Plus, I felt like my luck might be running out, and I was tired of being away from home, so I bailed after ten years. It's not an easy decision. but you're still plenty young, and seem to have you're head on straight, so you'll find a good path.
BTW, you're 4WD van rig is very cool.
Wow! You left after ten...I think you’re a rarity. Seems like it’s a much more difficult decision once you hit ten. Like you said, I’ve still got some youth! Time to use it and also have some fun while I still can. And thank you-the rig is doing great so far 🙏🏽