I’ve added links to some UK charities in the description but please reply to this post with any from your own country which I should add as well. Thank you for helping me to spread some kindness xxx
Yes, when I'm sad because I cannot do more for others, I know that I could be that kindness they need. It helps me, but more importantly, I hope it helps others.
Thank you so much for posting this. I no longer have a relationship with my parents (they are emotionally abusive). It's hard for people to understand that it can be very difficult to put on a fake smile and always be happy around the holidays! But I'm moving forward and creating a family with my husband and just fished my first semester of grad school! So it gets better! Happy Holidays! ❤⛄🎄
This happens to me too! My dad is a very toxic person and we dont speak anymore. The holidays alwaaays make mw wish he was a good dad and actually care about me. Sending u hugs!
started spiralling again today so i've been binge watching your videos, trying to pick up sign and stuff just to keep my head above water. thank you for this.
Sometimes its all we can do is keep our heads above water. It can tough and some days you're damn dear going under and ready to drown but don't give up. One foot in front of the other. You are amazing
anxiety/aspergers makes it nearly impossible for me to enjoy christmas. gift anxiety for weeks before and after, the large, loud party, conservative and slightly drunk relatives...i'd rather just have Halloween again, thanks! but I'm glad you find joy in it. ALSO thanks to everyone who said such nice things in the video before last when i was down. i'm working on myself again, and things are good!
I could never quite place why Christmas was such a hard time of year for me, everyone around me was always so happy and often referred to me as "the Grinch" because all I wanted was to be left alone. 3 years ago, I finally got my reason why; a list of chronic mental illnesses including a sensory processing disorder stemming from Severe PTSD, major depressive disorder, and severe anxiety all worsened by the season. This year, Christmas is a bit more manageable because my significant other gets to come home for Christmas, I haven't seen him in 4 months and am blessed that I have something to Look forward too this year. Too all who are having a rough holiday season (festive season) I hope that you remember that you are loved, and cared about. This time is rough but you're going to get through it. Stay strong and stay safe everyone.
Annelexia Sharp From what you say, we share some diagnoses, so when I say that I understand some of how you feel, I’m not just saying that!Hoping and praying you are able to have a better Christmas this year than you have ever had!
I discovered your channel like 2 weeks ago and it has changed my life a bit,if I can say it like that. You are always smiling and I am happy to see you being happy no matter what,it just makes my heart warm. Watching your videos makes me smile and laugh sometimes. You are a gorgeous person,Jessica. I adore your style so much,I feel happy that you have Claudia,your cute dogs and you make amazing videos. I wish you both wonderful Christmas and everything,enjoying small things is always the best!
I'm not crying, you are. Pff.... I don't cry. I just have a tissue in my hand for allergies. Seriously Jessica... I know I'm not the only one who needed this video today. As someone who struggles with major depression and anxiety and a host of other mental health issues, Christmas is my worst time of year. Memories of childhood, family, being happy, it gets to be too much and the pressure from the media and retailers makes it so much harder to cope. I've had a phenomenal year in terms of my doing good for my mental health and I'm trying SO hard not to forget how much I've achieved this year but Christmas just tends to... erase all that and I don't want it to. So thank you for making this and reminding me personally not to let this one time of the year erase all the good I've done. And yes, spread some kindness everyone! A smile, a kind word, whatever you can do to help someone out, do it. You'll feel so much better, I promise. And I was JUST thinking last night "I wish she had a PO Box so I could send her something" and lo and behold, you do. I'm sooooo happy!! :D Again, thank you for making this. Love you girl!!
cellcreative You can do it. You are strong. I know this because as you’ve said you’ve made a lot of progress this year. But even if you feel upset during this season don’t be too hard on yourself and think that you’re taking steps backwards. You’re still amazing, you’re still wonderful.
cellcreative you’re going to beat this year!! I know it always sounds cliche and it’s easier said than done, but keep your chin up! Everything will always be okay in the end. As a great movie once said, “Everything will be okay in the end, and if it isn’t okay, it isn’t the end.”
In some places, at least where I live in Savannah, GA United States, they had a get together at the LGBTQ+ center for people who couldn’t be with their families or didn’t want to be because of whatever reason during the Holidays. Definitely something to look into if you feel very lonely during the holidays because you can’t or do not want to be with family during this time of year. Definitely look into if you have a LGBTQ+ center around you, even if you aren’t necessarily part of the community, they usually can help you find a place of happiness for the Christmas/Holidays.
I clicked on this so fast. Thank you for talking about this Jessica. My husband is deployed right now and all of our family and friends are in a different state. Everyone is thousands of miles away. It’s just me and my dog and cat this year. It’s rough. Every store and website and everywhere keeps reminding me of what I’m missing. But I will say your vlogs uplift me everyday. You have such a wonderful, kind soul. Your wife is lucky to have you! ❤️ Sending love from across the pond 🎄
I don't have any first hand experiance in what your going through, however I have had some tough Christmases. So if you do one thing this Christmas make time for yourself , buy some chocolate and have a cuppa, or take a long bath. It won't always be this hard sending love 💜
I say forget what the stores and websites and media tell you how Christmas should be or look like. Create your own, no matter what it means. Spend the day giving your dog and cat cuddles and spoiling them with treats! For someone who hates Christmas, I recommend finding the most anti-Christmas movies you can find and just binge on them. They'll give you a laugh, I promise
Sprkly Syndrome being a military spouse is hard, I just want you to know I feel your pain and hope that you two are reunited soon. This is a temporary thing and soon he'll be home for the holidays once more. Much love 💙💜💙💜
cellcreative Thank you for your kind words. I am definitely cuddling them a lot! It really helps that they are both the snuggly kind of dog and cat ☺️❤️ some cats could care less haha.
This was lovely, christmas has been awful for me for the past five years, I always spend them alone because I know I can't have the christmas I want or imagine when I'm around people, this video has made me reevaluate stuff, maybe next year I need to reconsider how I look at the christmas holidays. Thank you Jessica
Yeah, I'm there with you too. I think next year I need to redefine what Christmas looks like and stop relying on other people to tell me what it should look like. We should each have our own little dictionary definition of what our Christmas looks like. Whether its eating a full course turkey meal, ordering a Chinese takeaway, going to the movies, going down to the one and only coffee shop that stays open on Christmas Day and chatting with the cashier. Whatever it is, lets each make it our very own
It's so great to hear more of your story. I wish I had a role model like you when I was younger and I think it's wonderful what you're doing to help people. You have fantastic advice to give.
This really resonated with me, Jessica. This is my absolute favorite time of year and because of how my year has gone (surgeries, infections, grandparents died in a freak accident, cat passed away, and my dad is battling pancreatic cancer), it's been incredibly hard to enjoy it. Especially because my health/disability has been unpredictable, it's made it difficult to do the things that make me happy during this time of year as well considering how dependent I've found myself on my fiance. Trying very hard to find the little things about this time of year that make me happy (decorating what I can, seeing Christmas lights as I drive by houses, etc.) and it's helping. I thought that by allowing myself to be sad this time of year, I was not being the same resilient self that I've known for so long. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay and that I'm not alone. You're the best, Jessica.
I think if you can only find one little thing that makes you happy this season, you're already ahead in the books. Sounds like you have had one hell of a year but you're also hanging in there and being tough and that makes you a kick ass human being
cellcreative Thank you so, so much for your kind words. I’m doing my best. I will definitely say that this has been one of the most challenging years I’ve had so far. At only 27, the amount of loss I had this year has been very hard to handle, but I’m taking things one day at a time. It’s all I can do. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to talk to me. ❤️
That's all you can ever do, just take it one day at a time. Hell, take it one minute at a time. Each minute has its own moment, every breath is its own moment. And every moment you get through... you're getting stronger until one day, you become unstoppable
Props to you for being sick as a dog and still managing to do your makeup and hair and get dressed for the day and being as positive as possible! Merry Christmas to you, your wife, and puppers. And a happy New Year!! ❤️❤️❤️
I have never seen such an amazing, supportive comments section. It’s all love down here. This year I’ve gotten so lost in feeling like no one agrees in the world and like people won’t take even a minute to care about anyone else. I’ve lost so much faith in the kindness of others and charity of strangers, but I have been given so much hope from all the kindness and empathy everyone is spreading here. Even though you’re all from around the world it makes me feel like I can trust people a little more. Thank you all for being genuine and loving and giving your support to people who you don’t know and will most likely never meet. I can’t put into words how much it means to me to see this.
There's a lot of divisiveness and sadness in the world, Claire, but there's a lot of good, too. =) I suggest following pages like Good News Network and Random Acts of Kindness if you're on Facebook, or keep an eye on the websites if you're not. They post positive stories every day; they're great reminders of how lovely people can be.
Thank you so much for the vids Jessica!! Loving them lots as your videos make my December a little less lonely!! (I'm in uni away from my hometown and I'm not going back for Christmas this year...)
I also live away from my family and it does get harder around Christmas time... but I hope you have a very lovely time however you spend it this year ❤️
Hope you have the most wonderful Christmas, even if it is not the setting you wished for. I know what you mean though, studying is great but it can get so lonely... It is so easy to get caught up in the things that go wrong and are sad, whereas there is always positivity somewhere:) Take some time for yourself and enjoy the little things that make you most happy during the coming weeks!
FYI I never clicked on notifications for any channel before but I did for yours today so I could see your videos ASAP. That's how awesome you are. P.S. This is going to be the first xmas since my mom passed away. But also the first since my niece had a baby and hopefully my first chance to see her. They live in another state.
I get you. My dad passed away this year, and Christmas is just making it harder. But we will be alright! Family and nice food are a thing to stick to these times. Hope you can see your niece's baby!
Charles Richardson I know how difficult it is to go through your first Christmas without a Mom being there. I'm sorry for your loss. My Mom will be gone five years just four days after Christmas. For me, the key has been to remember her in a conversation I'm having with someone ~ don't let anyone stop you from taking about her! We are all here for you, and we'll listen. ❄✨
This really hit home for me. Especially the part about being home sick when everyone comes home from college and the driving. You’re so sweet and caring
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and open heart. Christmas just hasn't been the same since losing my grandmother almost 6 years ago. She was diagnosed with lung cancer right after Thanksgiving (American here), and passed away two months later, January 21, 2012. She was the glue that held our family together, and we've all been rather lost without her. ❄️❤️
What kind of fanfiction did you write? I‘m so curious! Also, I think it’s great you addressed this topic, most people only talk about the good side of Christmas.
I was going to commit suicide this day last Christmas but it wasnt successfull and im really happy about it. Seeing this just makes me want to survive the hard times and live. Thank you. ❤
Anxiety + Christmas celebrations (+planning said celebrations) + school summer holidays (meaning everywhere is packed and LOUD, and stuffy hot) means no matter how and what I plan for it, it ends up being the worst time of year, and I suppose a huge disappointment (both because I try to look forward to it then once it's here completely resent it, and the disappointment in myself/my effort to make it all work.) HOWEVER, I do hold the thought in my mind that at some point in my life, my Christmases will be more peaceful, and more "me" like. Starves off the disappointment/failure feeling. Edit: PREPARE FOR CHRISTMAS CARDS 💛
Hi, I get that feeling with being disappointed. I always have that after new years eve. Sometimes we put our expectations way to high so we can't even enjoy what is good and right in front of our nose. Maybe you can find a tiny thing at christmas this year which feels like "you" and makes you happy without caring about anybody else but you. Maybe your favorite christmas song, the perfect color of wrapping paper or just a nice holiday jumper :)
Christmas has been really hard for me for the last many years. All I could think of was being mistreated by people I thought I could trust. Healing from emotional trauma is so difficult, but it does happen!! After 6 years of working through my issues, I feel like I'm breathing again! I'll never be 'over' what's happened, and I still have bad days, but the positivity I've surrounded myself with in my friends, people I look up to, and my lovely girlfriend, I'm happy to decorate and make/buy presents for my friends and do other festive things! Things won't always suck as long as you let them not suck!
Jessica, I really needed this video. It's this time every year where my social anxiety disorder and generalized anxiety disorder acts up a lot. I'm worried about finding presents for everyone and rushing around and avoiding certain things that trigger my disorders and I generally just forget to take care of myself through all the stress. So thank you for reminding me to enjoy myself a little and to take care of myself. It's such a simple thing but sometimes we need someone outside the fog to direct us. You are absolutely right: every bit of kindness helps.
Ember Rene, I can relate. I was just diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I know it can be an up and down struggle. I don't know how much this helps, but just know that the only one in control of your happiness, is you. I know that the most important thing for me during the holidays is that the people I love are taken care of. I hope you have someone in your life who feel that way about you. Take care of yourself. :)
I love your videos but have never commented before. This one had me in tears and I just had to comment as you have such a dear, kind heart 💗 I have chronic illness too and although it's very different to yours, just watching your videos makes me feel like I'm not alone and your positivity always raises me up. Thank you for all you do and share, and I hope you, Claudia, and the puppies have a wonderful Christmas xxx
Thank you. I had a string of several horrible Christmases where someone was missing - either they’d passed on, or they were away from home and having a miserable time. Christmas was never the same for me after that, and I’ve never since felt like celebrating. It’s nice to see someone who loves the holiday as much as you do taking the time to acknowledge how hard it can be, and sharing your own stories. I also really struggle with this extended break in routine that always gets forced by Christmas - the way everything grinds to a halt and you can’t get anything administrative or work-related done, how hard it is to get medical appointments, and how crowded everything is here in London. I’m Jewish, and recently I’ve been taking comfort in celebrating Hanukkah. It falls around the same time, usually, but it has a different feel and message whilst still being a time of celebration. Find the light where you can, friends. The daylight will be back soon.
Thank you for this. I was abused by my father, physically, mentally and emotionally, and he always seemed to put more pressure on at Christmas, there were more punishments and things. I escaped a while ago, but around Christmas I start feeling more and more terrified and regretful and really blaming it all on myself. The idea of Christmas heightens my depression, anxiety and flashbacks and I always feel guilty for not being happy in a time that all of my friends are and when my family are but I just can't be happy, I can't escape his overbearing shadow that he left on me. Thank you for putting this up today, the exact day I needed it and, though this sounds slightly strange, thank you for making me cry. I needed the detox and the time to stop being my uptight, often emotionless, calculated self and instead be the shattered little girl I am inside and will be for a while. Thank you Jessica.
Megan Parker I completely relate. I had similar issues with my mother and around this time of year it all comes back to me. Sometimes I just try and focus on friends more than family and surround myself with those that care for me. I know the feeling and it sucks, but I hope that you know that all of us on here are here for you. Just sometimes knowing that someone understands the pain makes it a tad bit better. May you have a relaxing and peaceful holiday ❤️
I'm so sorry that the holiday brings back such awful memories. I hope that this year it can be a time for you to do some self care and whatever you feel you need to do. You are beholden to nobody and no Christmas stereotypes. Sending my best wishes
Megan Parker I'm glad you escaped your father and the environment he subjected you to. Have you considered not celebrating it at all, or maybe just attending Christmas dinner with friends, and otherwise enacting a media blackout? I recently did something similar (the same sex marriage 'debate' in Australia got rather nasty) and I felt a lot calmer for it. Instead of watching television, I read books and watched youtube. No more jarringly homophobic ads while I am trying to watch my favourite shows.
I started to cry at the same time as you. For me, Christmas is really important because it is (nearly) the same every year. Last Christmas was the first without my grandmother AND one of my cousines. It was a bit hard, but I'm very happy that we did celebrate Christmas. Some of my relatives were so sad that they said they didn't want to celebrate Christmas, but for me that would have been much harder than celebraiting without my grandmother and cousine.
My mental state has worsened so much lately. I don’t know how to handle it, after having moved overseas and changing schools- the pressure is caving in on me and I don’t know what to do. It’s such a different curriculum, I just can’t handle it. I feel so sad and anxious, I really needed this. Thank you so much!!
peachpynk I'm sorry you're feeling sad and anxious love, I hope these feelings lessen as time goes on, change is a scary process and I hope you are able to adjust soon. I Know this sounds crazy, but have you been getting out in the sunshine? It really helps me when I'm feeling down, maybe it might help you.
peachpynk please talk to youre school, they may have ways to get you extra help. Try to find something that makes you happy, something that will boost youre mood and confidence when life is really hard. Talk to family and friends. Talk to us.
Adjusting is hard, but remember it is gonna get better and once youve gone through that you will get even stronger. Adaptation time is always the worst. Hope you feel well soon
you give words and a voice to the people who watch your channel who dont have one, weather physically or feel they cant speak out about what they are going through. Christmas is one of my least favourite times of the year, but its been made better by sister being able to come and share it with me and share the family traditions laid away for so so many years. Jessica you are an amazing women a rare pure soul who says it how it is :) thank you xx
Been binge-watching your videos for almost the last three weeks now. Seeing your channel suddenly explode into beyond the 150k mark, and watching your absolutely relentless positivity, you are such a fantastic inspiration. Your kind heart shines through in every video. And your occasionally dark humor is marvelous. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
Wise words indeed. People can forget that Christmas can be hard for some people. This is the first Xmas without my mum. Love and hugs to all of you out there who are struggling, let's stick together xxx
This topic is so important, thank you for talking about it. The fact that you encouraged commenters to support one another is amazingly sweet. I hope everyone has a happy holiday season.❄🎅🎄
This made me cry. Everything you said in this video is extremely relatable. The first christmas I had after getting ill was so, so hard for me. Of course I thought that the next christmas would be better, but it wasn't. The next one was even worse, and it made me feel so sad. But I decided that I would change my mentality and I wouldn't try to achieve something that was in the past and not achievable anymore, and instead I started being happy about the things that I have right now. Last year my christmas was very lovely!! And this year christmas might be lovely too, or it might be worse than ever, I can't be sure which one, but I've promised myself that I will stay strong. I wish you all merry christmas and hopefully you will have a lovely time no matter the hardships you face 💖 Also, sorry if my English isn't that good haha! I'm from Finland. Sending hugs to you ❣️
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard Thank you, this made me really happy 🧡 And yes, I hope everyone can feel connected and loved, it is very important and a kind idea! 💕
You got me tearing up Jessica T.T Such a kind, honest video. Thank you for your words, I hope people who are having a hard time will feel better after listening to you.
If anyone wants someone to talk to, I’m game for some pen pals whether email or snail mail lol. Just knowing someone is listening makes all the difference no matter the time of the year but for some the holidays are extra tough. I used to be in that horrible sinkhole once thanksgiving hit but thankfully (and after Urie a bit of therapy) I’m better. And I’m here to listen. 💖 Happy holidays guys, I hope it turns around for those having a hard time right now. I know it’s cliche but it does get better!!! 💖💖
I have S.A.D too! But it’s in the summer because of the lack of structure provided by school, where I can see my friends. I know how you feel, and just know that this will get better. :)
Claudia uses a sun lamp alarm clock to help her wake up in the mornings, it's especially vital in winter. We've noticed she's a lot happier generally now she uses it. I think having a good start to the mornings can make all the difference!
Poéme Georgia Bower It stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Basically just seasonal depression brought on by colder weather, less daylight, and it generally being a stressful time of year.
Just that was a really great video and you are right Christmas for a lot of people is the time reevaluate what’s going on, make important decisions! I think about my donor and his family I will remember him in my Christmas traditions-I feel reflection is good! Xxx
I haven’t even watched video yet and I needed to comment! I just told my friend yesterday that the holidays actually make me really sad. It’s been different since my dad died 10 years ago, and his family stopped communicating with us (they are our only local relatives). I also just learned that I was molested when I was a kid and dissociated so much that I have no memory of it t all. But the hard part is that my mom and brother are in total denial that anything has happened, so I have to pretend to be happy and like Christmas and I just don’t. On top of everything else, I have bipolar disorder and really severe anxiety to manage. . I need to hear more about being okay with having a rough time around Christmas!
Rebecca Brazil I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But I want to say, take care of yourself. Take some time for yourself and be strong. You can make it through this season. It may be rough right now because you might be feeling alone. I certainly understand that sensation. But you’re not alone. You’re never alone. 💜
I know several people who have gone through similar situations and honestly, I'm always amazed by the strength and resiliency shown by them. Its true that these things change your life in unimaginable ways but you also don't have to let the things that you have happen to you define who you are. You aren't what happened to you and your bipolar isn't who you are either. These things are parts of you that eventually, hopefully, over time you learn to manage and make peace with. And you will. The friends I have who have gone through similar situations... they've come out the other side much, much stronger and with a kind of courage that I'll never have. Whatever situation you're in or whatever you're going through right now, it IS okay. And you are okay
I hope you can find some support soon. I can't name any off the top of my hat, but I know that there are a lot of groups online for people who are going through similar things. Being able to talk to people who can actually relate to what you've been through and what you're struggling with can help so much. Take care
I think the overwhelming response to this video demonstrates that you are not alone in being unhappy at this time of year. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through so much, but I also think that you are remarkably brave and should be proud of yourself for facing all that adversity and not giving up. I hope you're able to find things this season that bring you some cheer. Be gentle with yourself and hang in there.
Thank you so much for this video. I thought you may like to know, but for a long time I despised Christmas. The festive season made me very depressed and fearful - Christmas time meant I was forced to spend time with my abusive father and also witness fighting between family and all sorts of things. The weeks leading up to Christmas were terrible as I dreaded the day. But this year will be the first year I celebrate Christmas without my father around. I feel the childlike joy again, I feel excitement for the holidays. I won't lie, I shed a few tears putting up the tree because it's been so long since I've felt this sort of excitement for Christmas and the first time in a long time that I've felt this happy and safe. To anyone struggling right now, know that there is a light at the end of every tunnel, and that things will get better. There is help all around, there is happiness all around, you just need to grab it. You have a world of support and I wish all the best for you, and hope that whatever hardship you are facing will get better soon.
Jay That's wonderful! I'm so glad you are enjoying yourself now as you should have been able previously. Sometimes the best way to win is to live well. *internet hugs*
Thank you, Jessica, for saying just what I needed to hear today! I have anxiety and depression that have steadily been getting worse over the last year. My Dad is getting chemo for stage four cancer and also has Alzheimer’s. My brother, my only living sibling, has end stage heart disease. This is been a very difficult Christmas season for me, even difficult to feel the joy of celebrating the birth of my Savior. Thank you for sharing the difficult Christmas times you went through, so helpful to so many of us to hear you! I love that you made Christmas a time of spoiling yourself! Perspective changer! Your plea for kindness was beautiful! It was also very sweet to see Claudia and Tilly and Walter gather in for a family hug! Strangely comforting to me to see them comfort you! Merry Christmas to you and your lovely family!
PhoebeFay RuthLouise I'm sorry to hear of your family members' illnesses. Many oncology and palliative care units have counselling services available. Perhaps your religious leader can help you with finding support too. *internet hugs*
Everything about you is so kind and generous and loving and amazing. You are the living proof that people can come through anything, can be positive through anything, can be who they want to be despite all that life can throw at them. I wish I could express how thankful I am for you and your channel and your genuineness through writing but I fear I cannot. The love and care and thought I can feel through the screen is so intense, and I don't feel I've felt such understanding from anyone in such an incredibly long time - and so for me to feel it through a screen, from someone on the otherside of the world is the most profound thing. So thank you so much- To you, Jessica, and Claudia, Clara, Walter and Matilda. Thank you for all you bring on this channel, for me personally, and to so many others around the world. Thank you for being the one person who understands, even though you have no idea who I am. Thank you for bringing me hope, laughter, understanding and kindness in a place I felt was lost of those attributes. Thank you for giving me positivity in an environment that's so negative- Thank you for giving me an escape and being someone that could never fail to lift my day- even through illness and tears, you manage to create some sort of positivity, and I will forever be grateful for all the work that you do and all the effort you put in for your viewers. Thank you so, so, so much- it might be cliche or cheesy but I really do believe you turned my life around, I'm surviving again; maybe even thriving.
So, I only very recently discovered your channel and not only do I adore vintage fashion (although sadly it is not really something I can partake in myself since the fashion for men doesn't seem to make my heart flutter the same way), but your discussions about disability have not only helped to educate me about physical disabilities but given me a new language to help talk about my own mental illnesses (severe depression and anxiety with a healthy dose of insomnia for good measure) and I cannot thank you enough for that. This video in particular was brilliant and it made me cry for all sorts of reasons, both good and bad, to do with family and isolation and mental health. So, yeah, thank you Jessica. Your channel and your family give me hope that I can build a good life for myself, not matter what happens. Oh and if I can scrape together the postage, you most certainly will be receiving a Christmas card from me this year.
Hi, Whimsical. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your struggles, but I believe it is possible for you to build a good life for yourself in spite of them. Please don't convince yourself otherwise--it's often ourselves that holds us back from finding some of the happiness that we deserve. All the best to you.
I was watching this video in a much needed relaxing bath and my gosh woman you are a true gem to the world. I must admit I was in tears when you were talking about being in a dark place and how Christmas for a lot of people is extremely hard. This year will probably mark the last christmas (last few months) with my dad before cancer takes him away to live with other people that have since passed....soo...i was in tears. But i agree!! If anyone has a sliver of love and kindness...pay it forward and pass it on. xx
Honestly, as someone who hasn't had it in them to be a "Christmas person" in a long time because of various life stresses and situations, seeing a video like this really means a lot. I know logically there's a lot of pressure of all sorts centered around christmas, but it always felt like such a small, stupid thing to feel guilty and sad over feeling like you Have to enjoy it but can't, or to have the Perfect one like everyone else, or being fixated on how they used to be in comparison to now, so even just seeing the title was like a little breath of fresh air -- a little "Oh." moment that was deeply appreciated. I got my girlfriend to start watching your videos as well, and she's coming to visit over her winter break -- our first time spending Christmas and New Years together physically after almost 2.5 years of dating long distance, and I'm looking forward to watching the rest of your vlogmas videos with her and having the best kind of christmas I can make for myself, whatever that may be. Thanks so much for being you Jessica
I'm glad you're set on making it Your kind of Christmas :) Don't mind about how others have it, especially since it's mostly just facade we see of others' holidays.
Thank you, Jessica, for being such a bright light and inspiration for all of my friends who also have disabilities. You inspire them and you also inspire me to be the best version of ourselves. I would also like to add that you have gorgeous hair, an amazing sense of style and always looking stunning. Which in reality is all just the cherry on top of you being a truly amazing person. Love you and best wishes from across the pond.
I only recently found your channel but you have honestly helped me to be just that bit happier each day, even though I have been going through a hard time. I hope you have an amazing day 🎄
Hi jessica, im not usually one for commenting and even if you dont see this, I just wanted to say how glad I am that i have found your channel. It has made me put a lot of things into perspective and I admire your positive attitude towards things that I am going to try and adopt myself! Going to miss a video everyday when vlogmas is over! :) xx
You are a pretty amazing person. Sometimes being a person with so many autoimmune diseases takes it toll and I can't celebrate as much as I would like too.I admire you making videos while being sick and throwing up. I can't even speak when I'm that ill which sadly is too often.I still love Christmas even though I have lost my Dad,my brother and the worst my nephew to suicide. There is always something that makes life bearable.friends and pets make me happy.
From the very beginning of the video i knew Jessica was going to cry because it looked like she was fighting back tears the entire time. I can't say how refreshing and unique this video is because everyone ignores the pressure, sadness or whatever other negatives we ALL deal with at Christmas. This time of year I reflect on the year and hope to improve next year. Christmas intensifies our feelings and because it's the end of the year it can be filled with regret because we feel like it's too late to fix things and because everyone else is "jolly" or in the "Christmas Spirit" it can make you feel sad that everyone else seems to be happier than you but reality is they can be hurting just as much but not show it and THAT'S what makes this video so genuine.
Thank you for this video. Due to a combination of my own mental illness, physical disabilities, and the loss of my grandfather, the last few weeks have been exceptionally difficult. It's hard, dealing with loss and trying to come to terms with the fact that you're never going to get better. Its even harder when you have to keep explaining that to the people around you who just don't understand. I discovered your channel the day after I lost my grandpa and your videos have been a bright spot for me. This is a video that I really needed right now. Thank you so much, I really appreciate everything you do.
MonsterTopus best wishes for getting through this month, as in sure it will be a struggle. Don't be afraid to take time for yourself when you need to, because you can't help those around you if you don't take care of yourself first. Loss close to a holiday will always hurt, but it gets easier with time ❤
Take good care of yourself. I think I can offer a little bit of hope for you--even mental illnesses that are technically permanent can still get better in a way. You can learn coping mechanisms that will help your general well being so much. Things will get better again.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My family lost my grandma this time last year. I know our Christmas was very subdued. We are doing much better a year on, though I’m sure my mum will have a little cry this year. It’s honestly just one foot in front of the other till one day you realise you’re doing much better. Thinking of you. I know what you’re going through. Xxx
I often struggle with Christmas because I feel like I should be happy, but I just can't be, and so that makes me feel even worse. The same thing happens with birthdays too sometime. It's really just luck of the draw whether it's one of my depressed days, but if it is, it being a celebratory occasion makes things that much harder.
We do tend to pile up expectations for special events and holidays, and letting go of them can be tough. Doesn't matter if they come from yourself or from others. I think Jessica's way of thinking is really great: A special occasion is an opportunity to spoil yourself. I think that includes letting yourself feel however you feel. "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" goes the song, it sometimes loops in my head when I'm sad on a "happy day". But I hope you can also find things you enjoy doing around Christmas and get some feelings of contentment as well!
Hi Caitlin, I know it can be hard to feel "forced" to be happy. I spend half of my birthday crying in bed last year, even though there was nothing to be sad about rationally. Don't feel pressured to be in a great mood. Talk to the people around and maybe enjoy the celebration with a little bit of space to yourself. Just so you can take a break when you need to. And if it's a really terrible day, then stay in bed, watch a movie and eat some cookie, there will more christmases.
Thank you for this video. My family recently had a massive falling out with another family member. They are emotionally manipulative and verbally abusive, and frankly I am afraid of them due to the aggressive nature of some of the things they said. To make matters more emotionally confusing, this person is also terminally ill - something they constantly made sure we remembered whenever we would bring up our own personal hardships, to guilt-trip us for them not being the constant center of our concerns. Christmas was always our one big family holiday, where we would all get together just once a year. Everything felt "right" seeing everyone together and enjoying each other's company. After this falling out, and no longer seeing this family member for going on a year-and-a-half now, Christmas feels... empty, in a way. I don't regret cutting this person out of my life, but it's like there's something hanging in the air around Christmas, that we dare not speak of this person. It's like this all throughout the year, but I feel it especially around December. And it sucks. Christmas is my favorite time of year, and this weight hanging on everything - the weight of what this person did to us, the weight of internalizing everything because everyone is so tired of discussing it, the weight of this person maybe not living to next year and the associated guilt of no longer speaking to them (even though I know on some level I have nothing to feel guilty for) - it gets to be a lot and is overwhelming compounded on my own mental health which is..... not great. Like I said, it's a lot. Talking to a professional is not currently an option, unfortunately. We, mostly my mom and I, still do the things we love around this time of year. Baking, decorating, watching our favorite holiday movies. Things to foster good memories even though not everything is sparkles and rainbows right now. It's still hard, but having these things to look forward to and reflect on after the holidays helps, if only a bit. This is longer than I expected it to be, and it's kind of jumbled, but it feels good to let it out.
Kay yeeesh that sounds very unpleasant to have to deal with. Australia has a free counselling helpline called Lifeline. Does your country have something similar? I hope you are able to get the help you need, and that next Christmas is at least a little calmer than this one. *internet hugs*
Thank you for sharing your story. I admire your strength and the skill it takes to keep going forward in such a difficult situation. Doing things you enjoy, especially together with someone dear to you, and writing about your experiences are both excellent ways to cope, in my opinion. Keep going and be kind to yourself ~
I have never watched a vlogmas before but I wait every day for yours. Thank you so so much for making the videos they are helping me so much it is like you read my mind and knew just what I needed the past three days; nausea check, layers check and today again. Thank you for making me feel not so alone.
Sarah Blackburn I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and can find comfort in this community of people who watch Jessica's videos, remember to treat yourself kindly and allow yourself to relax
Christmas and Birthdays are the clearest markers of the passage of time. Congrats on the dedication to fanfic, never underestimate the power of creative writing xxx
Thank you for talking about this! There is so much pressure to be HAPPY during Christmas, and the contrast between what we are and what we SHOULD be is at its highest. We need more people to say it's okay to be alone, to be sad, to be at work...during this time of year. It's too impossible of an ideal otherwise.
I rarely comment on videos, but this one means a lot. Been dealing with several things in the past few months (ending a long-term relationship, stress at work, family problems, etc) and this Christmas seems very different. You’re so adorable and your videos always cheer me up ❤️
Thank you so much for this lovely video! people alway push to be happy during positive christmas. For me christmas used to be a very happy moment. Presents, doing fun stuff with friends and lots and lots of food. That changed a few years ago, when my best friends decided I wasn't usefull anymore, so christmas was very lonely for me. Besides that i was diagnosed with severe IBS, which meant i could go out easily for dinner anymore. People didn;t understand it though. I was so scared to be in pain, that I wanted to avoid going out for dinner. However, people started to complain to me that 'it wasn;t that bad' and 'I should act normal', so I went with them (big mistake). For the last 3 years my christmas is sick in bed with a hell lot of pain from food (and does negative feelings from being alone didn;t help either). This year i don't feel alone anymore. I'm doing fine. My IBS is still pretty bad, but less severe. people still complain, but I'm sick and tired of hearing it, so for once I'm going to stand up for myself. If I cant eat, I wont eat it!
I'm really sorry people have been giving you a hard time with your illness, that's not cool. I don't know if they are your friends or family but they should not treat you like that. Stand up yourself and enjoy the food when you can. Listen to your body and maybe some christmas songs :)
You are truly amazing! I’ve been scrolling through the comments and everyone is sharing their stories. You have such a positive impact on each and every one of your viewers. Thank you so much for your hard work, dedication, honesty, and kindness! I am so lucky I stumbled upon your channel. You have quickly become my favorite TH-camr.
This is the biggest helping of Honey Nut Feelios I've had in a while. My girlfriend and I are weeping the gayest tears over this. Thank you. Y'all are awesome -- cheers from across the pond.
I'm a few days late to this video but I really appreciated you, Jessica, taking the time to address the sadness or loneliness that can happen around Christmas (or other holidays depending on your religious practices). It's been three years since my father unexpectedly (and suddenly) passed away, and I still struggle with his absence all through the month of December. I'm fortunate that my mother is extremely supportive of my not so festive attitude and allows me the freedom to join or not join extended family functions when I am having a harder day dealing with his death. Like you mentioned in your video, self-love and self-care are the best ways to maybe find a silver lining. It's okay to not be okay, and it's also okay to eat ALL the Christmas cookies if you want! Sending love to those who have lost a loved one, and sending love to everyone else who supports this amazing channel.
Thank you so much for this video! Its lovely to have someone say that it is totally okay to not feel amazing over christmas. Some days i really hate christmas and i am normally a person that is pretty happy but i have a long term medical condition that gets me down, especially around christmas because it means i have had it for another year. THANK YOU for saying its okay to be sad. I truly love your channel and it is the highlight of my week when your videos come out.
This video is so perfect jessica! My life has changed so much in the past year and christmas feels...different...this year. Thanks for reminding me its okay. Youre so articulate and graceful.
Marianne Black I know isn’t she wonderful! I needed the reminder too. I don’t know your situation, but I hope you find some much deserved peace, love, and joy in the new year.
I don't usually cry much, but this got me hard. My dog just died, and I am dealing with a couple of mental and chronic illnesses. Thank you for this video. Edit: Thank you all for the nice comments.
Jolie Edwards I i know it hurts...Im sending you big internet hugs. Come here with us if you want to talk and maybe even laugh! Welcome to your internet home :)
This video really touched me where I am today, so for that I thank you. Also, you are lovely, your wife is lovely, your dogs are lovely, your home is lovely! I hope you enjoy your Christmas season.
I needed this. This made me tear up,I get really down around Christmas. Thank you for making this video and for just existing. You make me feel less alone. Big hugs to both of you🤗💛🧡❤️💚💙💜
Alison Laett you’re so sweet! I’m glad you’re part of this community too :) this channel is so positive and loving. Thank you for your reply, you made me smile! I hope you have a good day 🤗
This put something into words that I've been feeling for years, thank you so much. Every holiday this year has been tough because of the passing of a family member and I know Christmas is going to be the worst on everyone. It really is okay to be sad around the holidays
Thank you so much for this. I really needed it. This is the 3rd Christmas since I went no contact from my abusive family...yet I'm finding it the most difficult. I've been in the darkest place more often lately. The way you normalize chronic illness (I have a grab bag of mental illnesses) is a light in my darkness.
What a beautiful gift you are to so many! Even tho I am one of those struggling, I do my best to always uplift others, be it family, friend or the very angry/grumpy postal worker who seems to hate the world. It lifts me up, even if just for a short bit. I am so glad you encourage others to do the same. We need more kindness in the world. My struggle is such a combo of health, dissatisfaction in myself and inability to succeed , to often times function and rarely measure up to my own ideals ....I often just give up simply for the lack of being tired of the battle. Christmas as you said is a marker but it's also so much self imposed pressure and so much more is expected ....I could go on and on, but ....I just try to do my best to not let myself and in the stead focus on putting that one foot in front of the other and busy myself with uplifting others on instagram and here when I can.
Thank you for being so REAL and and honest❤️ I always see TH-camrs talk about all the happy things (which isn’t wrong) but sometimes that sends a message that says that being sad is wrong during the holidays. Life isn’t always perfect even during the holidays and its good to talk about the hard things too
This was a much needed video for me. A lot of people doing vlogmas try to only show the happy and positive times which is fantastic.. But for people who are sad for the Christmas season, it's videos like this that are much needed. Thank you! And thanks to everyone spreading positivity in the comments :)
Thank you so much Jessica for this video, sometimes I feel like I'm alone when I feel as sh*t as I currently do. My granny passed away a few years ago on the 26th of December, and that's when everything really went downhill. Then my granddad died the following September and I just crashed completely. Yesterday I finally decided that that was my day, and I was going to end my life. But as I was on the way to the bathroom, a teacher Must have figured out what I was about to do and basically stopped me, and because of her kindness I'm still here now. Xmas is a really difficult time for me, and is my least favourite time of the year, this video really did help me. Thank you Jessica, and Claudia too for bringing a lot more happiness to my life, and for your videos which cheer me up whenever I feel like crap, thank you!
Rachel NicDhonnchada I am so very glad that your teacher was able to stop you from harming yourself! The world would be a worst place without you! Sending internet hugs to you! 💜
You are not alone. Please consider checking out what kind of support systems or crisis help there are available in your area. And keep watching these wonderful ladies that we all love so much for their struggles as much as for their happiness.
I agree with you. Use your energy for you. I used to hate Christmas time because I was alone and traveled, but then one day decided to make my mom's fudge which felt fantastic. Soon I was doing small things I used to enjoy, and found new traditions! Now Christmas is a happy time to reflect instead of wallow because I chose to use my energy to make myself happy.
I needed this today really! Today has been such a hard Day and Night. I feel useless really. I can’t get out of bad because my anxiety is just so bad in school and i just don’t have the energy either. I feel so alone and i can’t even enjoy Christmas which is my favorite time of the year.... and i just started watching you Jessica and you really do inspire me.
I struggle(d) with severe chronic depression and anxiety during high school and college. At one point i thought i would never get ou of that dark place. Now it is almost 10 years later, although it is still difficult at some times, i just wanted to say that yes it does get better. It doesnt mean that everything will be fixed within one day but you will feel better. You will have better times. I hope you can take that message to heart. Also, dont be to hard for yourself, be proud of who you are and what you accomplished. Even if it seems like you are failing. For me it helped out to list at least 3 things that i was proud of that day before going to bed. Sorry for my long ramble. =)
This video genuinely had me snuggling my dog and crying on her, couldn't stop thinking about my big brother who won't talk to me or my mum. He hasn't spoken to me in 2 years and I miss him so much. We don't know what we did but we were always a close family and he said we were never close and every time I think about him and how he should be here it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Also we found out this yeat that my grandad has freaking cancer, and my health is declining, so is my mum's health and my nan's...I feel like this year is the worst, I have so much that I feel like I should be happy about in my life but I can't stop thinking about the sad stuff because what if those things don't get better 😭❤
Zoe Crichton allow yourself to feel bad because that can help you to process all the new information that you have been getting, you don't owe it to anyone to be happy and allow yourself to feel. I hope you have a good holiday season and remember to treat yourself kindly and treat yourself to something special because you deserve it
Basketofkittens you genuinely just made my day better, thank you. It's hard to process ongoing problems when they're out if your control but I am trying. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season as well ❤
This is so lovely Jessica! I was made redundant recently and it's made me feel awful and depressed, especially as it happened so close to Christmas. But having positive videos like this really helps, you're so inspiring and kind :)
So beautifully said. Thank you for sharing your story and reaching out. So many people have a rough time at Christmas. I was one of them, for a long time, after losing my Dad. It's nice to see someone address what so many are thinking and feeling this time of year.
![Are You Disabled Enough? Physical Disabilities and Mental Health // Vlogmas Day 8 [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/L23tfjyjnkw/mqdefault.jpg)
![Are You Disabled Enough? Physical Disabilities and Mental Health // Vlogmas Day 8 [CC]](/img/tr.png)
![LGBTQ+ Christmas Cards! // Vlogmas Day 11 [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-w_wk_W4jtQ/mqdefault.jpg)
![Future Children and Fostering // Vlogmas Day 22 [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Q_8TwhbpPos/mqdefault.jpg)
![Comparing ASL & BSL Christmas Signs feat. Rikki Poynter // Vlogmas Day 19 [CC]](/img/n.gif)
I’ve added links to some UK charities in the description but please reply to this post with any from your own country which I should add as well. Thank you for helping me to spread some kindness xxx
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard love you!
Deutschland: Telefonseelsorge: 0800 111 0 111
CVV Centro de Valorização da Vida - Brasil (center of life valorization) www.cvv.org.br/ phone number: 141
Austria:
Österreichische Telefonseelsorge: www.telefonseelsorge.at/ ; phone: 142
Ireland:
Samaritans:
116 123 (This number is FREE to call)
0872 609090 (Standard text charges apply)
jo@samaritans.org
samaritans.ie
"The smallest bit of kindness can make all the difference." - hear hear! 😊
Yes, when I'm sad because I cannot do more for others, I know that I could be that kindness they need. It helps me, but more importantly, I hope it helps others.
Thank you so much for posting this. I no longer have a relationship with my parents (they are emotionally abusive). It's hard for people to understand that it can be very difficult to put on a fake smile and always be happy around the holidays! But I'm moving forward and creating a family with my husband and just fished my first semester of grad school! So it gets better! Happy Holidays! ❤⛄🎄
Lana's Cola thank you! Sometimes it takes one day at a time! ❤
StephLeona I'm sorry to hear that love keep strong
Congrats on finishing your first semester of grad school! Stay strong ☀️
That's awesome! For someone who couldn't even get through the first year of college, that's a HUGE achievement so well done you! You rock
This happens to me too! My dad is a very toxic person and we dont speak anymore. The holidays alwaaays make mw wish he was a good dad and actually care about me. Sending u hugs!
"It's your energy and whatever you choose to do with it is not wasteful" 6:30 my new FAVORITE quote!!!
started spiralling again today so i've been binge watching your videos, trying to pick up sign and stuff just to keep my head above water. thank you for this.
cj ! Stay strong ☺️ you are not alone.
Sometimes its all we can do is keep our heads above water. It can tough and some days you're damn dear going under and ready to drown but don't give up. One foot in front of the other. You are amazing
I believe in you and hope things start getting brighter for you soon
cj ! You're not alone,
hold on hon x
anxiety/aspergers makes it nearly impossible for me to enjoy christmas. gift anxiety for weeks before and after, the large, loud party, conservative and slightly drunk relatives...i'd rather just have Halloween again, thanks! but I'm glad you find joy in it.
ALSO thanks to everyone who said such nice things in the video before last when i was down. i'm working on myself again, and things are good!
social - disaster I hope your anxiety will get better ☄❤
Christina Forge that sounds nice. Thanks!
I could never quite place why Christmas was such a hard time of year for me, everyone around me was always so happy and often referred to me as "the Grinch" because all I wanted was to be left alone. 3 years ago, I finally got my reason why; a list of chronic mental illnesses including a sensory processing disorder stemming from Severe PTSD, major depressive disorder, and severe anxiety all worsened by the season. This year, Christmas is a bit more manageable because my significant other gets to come home for Christmas, I haven't seen him in 4 months and am blessed that I have something to Look forward too this year. Too all who are having a rough holiday season (festive season) I hope that you remember that you are loved, and cared about. This time is rough but you're going to get through it. Stay strong and stay safe everyone.
I'm glad this Christmas is going to be a bit better for you!
Hope you'll get a nice time with your SO during Christmas!
Hang in there and remember that you're a very brave person.
Annelexia Sharp stay strong! Things will get better, I promise!
Annelexia Sharp From what you say, we share some diagnoses, so when I say that I understand some of how you feel, I’m not just saying that!Hoping and praying you are able to have a better Christmas this year than you have ever had!
I discovered your channel like 2 weeks ago and it has changed my life a bit,if I can say it like that. You are always smiling and I am happy to see you being happy no matter what,it just makes my heart warm. Watching your videos makes me smile and laugh sometimes. You are a gorgeous person,Jessica. I adore your style so much,I feel happy that you have Claudia,your cute dogs and you make amazing videos. I wish you both wonderful Christmas and everything,enjoying small things is always the best!
Sebastian 17 yes, they are really amazing^^
I feel exactly the same. Whenever I’m struggling a bit, I’ll watch to one of your wonderful videos. 😌❤️
I'm not crying, you are. Pff.... I don't cry. I just have a tissue in my hand for allergies. Seriously Jessica... I know I'm not the only one who needed this video today. As someone who struggles with major depression and anxiety and a host of other mental health issues, Christmas is my worst time of year. Memories of childhood, family, being happy, it gets to be too much and the pressure from the media and retailers makes it so much harder to cope. I've had a phenomenal year in terms of my doing good for my mental health and I'm trying SO hard not to forget how much I've achieved this year but Christmas just tends to... erase all that and I don't want it to. So thank you for making this and reminding me personally not to let this one time of the year erase all the good I've done. And yes, spread some kindness everyone! A smile, a kind word, whatever you can do to help someone out, do it. You'll feel so much better, I promise. And I was JUST thinking last night "I wish she had a PO Box so I could send her something" and lo and behold, you do. I'm sooooo happy!! :D Again, thank you for making this. Love you girl!!
cellcreative keep up the good work! :D
cellcreative I know what you mean, don't worry. Just remember how far you've come this year and how amazing you've done. Keep smiling 💖
cellcreative I'm glad I'm not the only one who experiences this. Mental illness can be so isolating. I hope that you can get through this hard time.
cellcreative You can do it. You are strong. I know this because as you’ve said you’ve made a lot of progress this year. But even if you feel upset during this season don’t be too hard on yourself and think that you’re taking steps backwards. You’re still amazing, you’re still wonderful.
cellcreative you’re going to beat this year!! I know it always sounds cliche and it’s easier said than done, but keep your chin up! Everything will always be okay in the end. As a great movie once said, “Everything will be okay in the end, and if it isn’t okay, it isn’t the end.”
You're so right ! X PS lots if Australians have had an early Christmas present , same sex marriage is finally legal here!
and Yes!!! Straya represent!
You are such an incredible person, we need more precious people like you in this world ❤
I’m SO happy to see your channel explode like this.
You and Claudia are inspiring!
In some places, at least where I live in Savannah, GA United States, they had a get together at the LGBTQ+ center for people who couldn’t be with their families or didn’t want to be because of whatever reason during the Holidays. Definitely something to look into if you feel very lonely during the holidays because you can’t or do not want to be with family during this time of year. Definitely look into if you have a LGBTQ+ center around you, even if you aren’t necessarily part of the community, they usually can help you find a place of happiness for the Christmas/Holidays.
I clicked on this so fast. Thank you for talking about this Jessica. My husband is deployed right now and all of our family and friends are in a different state. Everyone is thousands of miles away. It’s just me and my dog and cat this year. It’s rough. Every store and website and everywhere keeps reminding me of what I’m missing. But I will say your vlogs uplift me everyday. You have such a wonderful, kind soul. Your wife is lucky to have you! ❤️ Sending love from across the pond 🎄
I don't have any first hand experiance in what your going through, however I have had some tough Christmases. So if you do one thing this Christmas make time for yourself , buy some chocolate and have a cuppa, or take a long bath. It won't always be this hard
sending love 💜
I say forget what the stores and websites and media tell you how Christmas should be or look like. Create your own, no matter what it means. Spend the day giving your dog and cat cuddles and spoiling them with treats! For someone who hates Christmas, I recommend finding the most anti-Christmas movies you can find and just binge on them. They'll give you a laugh, I promise
Sprkly Syndrome being a military spouse is hard, I just want you to know I feel your pain and hope that you two are reunited soon. This is a temporary thing and soon he'll be home for the holidays once more. Much love 💙💜💙💜
Alicenora thank you. You are so kind. I’m trying my best to stay cozy and drink lots of tea and try my best not to dwell on things.
cellcreative Thank you for your kind words. I am definitely cuddling them a lot! It really helps that they are both the snuggly kind of dog and cat ☺️❤️ some cats could care less haha.
Jessica: "I need a tissue. Claudia?"
*Wipes face on Claudia's shirt while hugging her.*
Jessica: "Alright, then."
The two of them are just perfect💕
Thank you for this, I really needed it today ❤️
I think we all needed it for one reason or another. One foot in front of the other, my love. You got this
Have q wonderful Christmas and I hope things start looking up for you
Hoping your tomorrow is brighter 💗🌟
I'm sorry to hear you've felt crummy. Hang in there. I hope you can find something this season that perks you up.
I did too. Don’t give up❤️
This was lovely, christmas has been awful for me for the past five years, I always spend them alone because I know I can't have the christmas I want or imagine when I'm around people, this video has made me reevaluate stuff, maybe next year I need to reconsider how I look at the christmas holidays. Thank you Jessica
Yeah, I'm there with you too. I think next year I need to redefine what Christmas looks like and stop relying on other people to tell me what it should look like. We should each have our own little dictionary definition of what our Christmas looks like. Whether its eating a full course turkey meal, ordering a Chinese takeaway, going to the movies, going down to the one and only coffee shop that stays open on Christmas Day and chatting with the cashier. Whatever it is, lets each make it our very own
I hope you get the Christmas you want one year! But this year I hope you can find something to bring you a little joy
Thank you :)
Perfect advice! x
Hang in there. I hope you can find something this season that makes you smile.
Aww, Jessica, you're an angel. Sending so much love your way! Thank you for sharing your narrative with all of us
It's so great to hear more of your story. I wish I had a role model like you when I was younger and I think it's wonderful what you're doing to help people. You have fantastic advice to give.
This really resonated with me, Jessica. This is my absolute favorite time of year and because of how my year has gone (surgeries, infections, grandparents died in a freak accident, cat passed away, and my dad is battling pancreatic cancer), it's been incredibly hard to enjoy it. Especially because my health/disability has been unpredictable, it's made it difficult to do the things that make me happy during this time of year as well considering how dependent I've found myself on my fiance. Trying very hard to find the little things about this time of year that make me happy (decorating what I can, seeing Christmas lights as I drive by houses, etc.) and it's helping. I thought that by allowing myself to be sad this time of year, I was not being the same resilient self that I've known for so long. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay and that I'm not alone. You're the best, Jessica.
I think if you can only find one little thing that makes you happy this season, you're already ahead in the books. Sounds like you have had one hell of a year but you're also hanging in there and being tough and that makes you a kick ass human being
cellcreative Thank you so, so much for your kind words. I’m doing my best. I will definitely say that this has been one of the most challenging years I’ve had so far. At only 27, the amount of loss I had this year has been very hard to handle, but I’m taking things one day at a time. It’s all I can do. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to talk to me. ❤️
That's all you can ever do, just take it one day at a time. Hell, take it one minute at a time. Each minute has its own moment, every breath is its own moment. And every moment you get through... you're getting stronger until one day, you become unstoppable
cellcreative I don’t have a lot of words right now, but I want to express my extreme gratitude for your words and your time. Thank you again.
I hope this coming year ends up being better for you!
Props to you for being sick as a dog and still managing to do your makeup and hair and get dressed for the day and being as positive as possible! Merry Christmas to you, your wife, and puppers. And a happy New Year!! ❤️❤️❤️
Its ok to not be ok x reminder to all no matter what time of year x
I have never seen such an amazing, supportive comments section. It’s all love down here. This year I’ve gotten so lost in feeling like no one agrees in the world and like people won’t take even a minute to care about anyone else. I’ve lost so much faith in the kindness of others and charity of strangers, but I have been given so much hope from all the kindness and empathy everyone is spreading here. Even though you’re all from around the world it makes me feel like I can trust people a little more. Thank you all for being genuine and loving and giving your support to people who you don’t know and will most likely never meet. I can’t put into words how much it means to me to see this.
Claire Higgins I’m totally with you on that! The love in these comments is so inspiring!
There's a lot of divisiveness and sadness in the world, Claire, but there's a lot of good, too. =) I suggest following pages like Good News Network and Random Acts of Kindness if you're on Facebook, or keep an eye on the websites if you're not. They post positive stories every day; they're great reminders of how lovely people can be.
Thank you so much for the vids Jessica!! Loving them lots as your videos make my December a little less lonely!! (I'm in uni away from my hometown and I'm not going back for Christmas this year...)
I also live away from my family and it does get harder around Christmas time... but I hope you have a very lovely time however you spend it this year ❤️
Hope you have the most wonderful Christmas, even if it is not the setting you wished for. I know what you mean though, studying is great but it can get so lonely... It is so easy to get caught up in the things that go wrong and are sad, whereas there is always positivity somewhere:)
Take some time for yourself and enjoy the little things that make you most happy during the coming weeks!
Shana Tan Yes!!! I second that. I love your videos but don’t overwork yourself for us!
Shana Tan there may be others in the same situation see if you could do a Christmas Day together, I know in my halls everyone who stayed did that!
This was perfectly said.. I seem to forget these things, sometimes. Thank you for saying it.
FYI I never clicked on notifications for any channel before but I did for yours today so I could see your videos ASAP. That's how awesome you are. P.S. This is going to be the first xmas since my mom passed away. But also the first since my niece had a baby and hopefully my first chance to see her. They live in another state.
I hope you get to meet your baby niece, bet she's adorable 👶 x
I hope you can enjoy Christmas
I get you. My dad passed away this year, and Christmas is just making it harder. But we will be alright! Family and nice food are a thing to stick to these times. Hope you can see your niece's baby!
I lost my mom 3 years ago now, and every Christmas is tough, but you’ll make it though it. We love you and I am here to talk if you need anything!
Charles Richardson I know how difficult it is to go through your first Christmas without a Mom being there. I'm sorry for your loss. My Mom will be gone five years just four days after Christmas. For me, the key has been to remember her in a conversation I'm having with someone ~ don't let anyone stop you from taking about her! We are all here for you, and we'll listen. ❄✨
This really hit home for me. Especially the part about being home sick when everyone comes home from college and the driving. You’re so sweet and caring
Are you experiencing something like that this Christmas? She really is sweet and wonderful
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and open heart. Christmas just hasn't been the same since losing my grandmother almost 6 years ago. She was diagnosed with lung cancer right after Thanksgiving (American here), and passed away two months later, January 21, 2012. She was the glue that held our family together, and we've all been rather lost without her. ❄️❤️
This is so many years later, but I just wanted to say I hope you're ok and Christmas is bringing you more joy again ☺❤
What kind of fanfiction did you write? I‘m so curious! Also, I think it’s great you addressed this topic, most people only talk about the good side of Christmas.
I was going to commit suicide this day last Christmas but it wasnt successfull and im really happy about it. Seeing this just makes me want to survive the hard times and live. Thank you. ❤
I am so glad you are still here and doing better this year!
So pleased your weren’t successful with your attempt. Hope you have a wonderful holiday season. Xxx
So glad you didn't! And I agree, you should celebrate! Give yourself some extra love this holiday season.
We love you! I’m so happy you weren’t successful. Celebrate and treat yourself!
Nippy Houston I lost my younger brother to suicide - - I’m so very glad you were not successful! You are meant for great things! Internet hugs!
Anxiety + Christmas celebrations (+planning said celebrations) + school summer holidays (meaning everywhere is packed and LOUD, and stuffy hot) means no matter how and what I plan for it, it ends up being the worst time of year, and I suppose a huge disappointment (both because I try to look forward to it then once it's here completely resent it, and the disappointment in myself/my effort to make it all work.) HOWEVER, I do hold the thought in my mind that at some point in my life, my Christmases will be more peaceful, and more "me" like. Starves off the disappointment/failure feeling.
Edit: PREPARE FOR CHRISTMAS CARDS 💛
Hi, I get that feeling with being disappointed. I always have that after new years eve. Sometimes we put our expectations way to high so we can't even enjoy what is good and right in front of our nose. Maybe you can find a tiny thing at christmas this year which feels like "you" and makes you happy without caring about anybody else but you. Maybe your favorite christmas song, the perfect color of wrapping paper or just a nice holiday jumper :)
Christmas has been really hard for me for the last many years. All I could think of was being mistreated by people I thought I could trust. Healing from emotional trauma is so difficult, but it does happen!! After 6 years of working through my issues, I feel like I'm breathing again! I'll never be 'over' what's happened, and I still have bad days, but the positivity I've surrounded myself with in my friends, people I look up to, and my lovely girlfriend, I'm happy to decorate and make/buy presents for my friends and do other festive things! Things won't always suck as long as you let them not suck!
Ri Ziba I’m so glad Christmas is so much better for you this year!
Jessica, I really needed this video. It's this time every year where my social anxiety disorder and generalized anxiety disorder acts up a lot. I'm worried about finding presents for everyone and rushing around and avoiding certain things that trigger my disorders and I generally just forget to take care of myself through all the stress. So thank you for reminding me to enjoy myself a little and to take care of myself. It's such a simple thing but sometimes we need someone outside the fog to direct us. You are absolutely right: every bit of kindness helps.
Ember Rene, I can relate. I was just diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I know it can be an up and down struggle. I don't know how much this helps, but just know that the only one in control of your happiness, is you.
I know that the most important thing for me during the holidays is that the people I love are taken care of. I hope you have someone in your life who feel that way about you.
Take care of yourself. :)
I love your videos but have never commented before. This one had me in tears and I just had to comment as you have such a dear, kind heart 💗 I have chronic illness too and although it's very different to yours, just watching your videos makes me feel like I'm not alone and your positivity always raises me up. Thank you for all you do and share, and I hope you, Claudia, and the puppies have a wonderful Christmas xxx
Thank you. I had a string of several horrible Christmases where someone was missing - either they’d passed on, or they were away from home and having a miserable time. Christmas was never the same for me after that, and I’ve never since felt like celebrating. It’s nice to see someone who loves the holiday as much as you do taking the time to acknowledge how hard it can be, and sharing your own stories.
I also really struggle with this extended break in routine that always gets forced by Christmas - the way everything grinds to a halt and you can’t get anything administrative or work-related done, how hard it is to get medical appointments, and how crowded everything is here in London.
I’m Jewish, and recently I’ve been taking comfort in celebrating Hanukkah. It falls around the same time, usually, but it has a different feel and message whilst still being a time of celebration. Find the light where you can, friends. The daylight will be back soon.
I hope you have a wonderful Hanukkah.
Thank you, friend!
Thank you for this. I was abused by my father, physically, mentally and emotionally, and he always seemed to put more pressure on at Christmas, there were more punishments and things. I escaped a while ago, but around Christmas I start feeling more and more terrified and regretful and really blaming it all on myself. The idea of Christmas heightens my depression, anxiety and flashbacks and I always feel guilty for not being happy in a time that all of my friends are and when my family are but I just can't be happy, I can't escape his overbearing shadow that he left on me. Thank you for putting this up today, the exact day I needed it and, though this sounds slightly strange, thank you for making me cry. I needed the detox and the time to stop being my uptight, often emotionless, calculated self and instead be the shattered little girl I am inside and will be for a while. Thank you Jessica.
Megan Parker I completely relate. I had similar issues with my mother and around this time of year it all comes back to me. Sometimes I just try and focus on friends more than family and surround myself with those that care for me. I know the feeling and it sucks, but I hope that you know that all of us on here are here for you. Just sometimes knowing that someone understands the pain makes it a tad bit better. May you have a relaxing and peaceful holiday ❤️
I'm so sorry that the holiday brings back such awful memories. I hope that this year it can be a time for you to do some self care and whatever you feel you need to do. You are beholden to nobody and no Christmas stereotypes. Sending my best wishes
Megan Parker I'm glad you escaped your father and the environment he subjected you to. Have you considered not celebrating it at all, or maybe just attending Christmas dinner with friends, and otherwise enacting a media blackout? I recently did something similar (the same sex marriage 'debate' in Australia got rather nasty) and I felt a lot calmer for it. Instead of watching television, I read books and watched youtube. No more jarringly homophobic ads while I am trying to watch my favourite shows.
I started to cry at the same time as you. For me, Christmas is really important because it is (nearly) the same every year. Last Christmas was the first without my grandmother AND one of my cousines. It was a bit hard, but I'm very happy that we did celebrate Christmas. Some of my relatives were so sad that they said they didn't want to celebrate Christmas, but for me that would have been much harder than celebraiting without my grandmother and cousine.
My mental state has worsened so much lately. I don’t know how to handle it, after having moved overseas and changing schools- the pressure is caving in on me and I don’t know what to do. It’s such a different curriculum, I just can’t handle it. I feel so sad and anxious, I really needed this. Thank you so much!!
Sending love and Christmas wishes to you! I hope you get the help you need and feel better about everything soon!!
peachpynk I'm sorry you're feeling sad and anxious love, I hope these feelings lessen as time goes on, change is a scary process and I hope you are able to adjust soon. I Know this sounds crazy, but have you been getting out in the sunshine? It really helps me when I'm feeling down, maybe it might help you.
Hold on, sending 💘 to you
peachpynk please talk to youre school, they may have ways to get you extra help. Try to find something that makes you happy, something that will boost youre mood and confidence when life is really hard. Talk to family and friends. Talk to us.
Adjusting is hard, but remember it is gonna get better and once youve gone through that you will get even stronger. Adaptation time is always the worst. Hope you feel well soon
you give words and a voice to the people who watch your channel who dont have one, weather physically or feel they cant speak out about what they are going through. Christmas is one of my least favourite times of the year, but its been made better by sister being able to come and share it with me and share the family traditions laid away for so so many years. Jessica you are an amazing women a rare pure soul who says it how it is :) thank you xx
Been binge-watching your videos for almost the last three weeks now. Seeing your channel suddenly explode into beyond the 150k mark, and watching your absolutely relentless positivity, you are such a fantastic inspiration. Your kind heart shines through in every video. And your occasionally dark humor is marvelous. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
Wise words indeed. People can forget that Christmas can be hard for some people. This is the first Xmas without my mum. Love and hugs to all of you out there who are struggling, let's stick together xxx
This topic is so important, thank you for talking about it. The fact that you encouraged commenters to support one another is amazingly sweet. I hope everyone has a happy holiday season.❄🎅🎄
all the comments are so inspirational it fills my heart with joy
This made me cry. Everything you said in this video is extremely relatable. The first christmas I had after getting ill was so, so hard for me. Of course I thought that the next christmas would be better, but it wasn't. The next one was even worse, and it made me feel so sad. But I decided that I would change my mentality and I wouldn't try to achieve something that was in the past and not achievable anymore, and instead I started being happy about the things that I have right now. Last year my christmas was very lovely!! And this year christmas might be lovely too, or it might be worse than ever, I can't be sure which one, but I've promised myself that I will stay strong. I wish you all merry christmas and hopefully you will have a lovely time no matter the hardships you face 💖 Also, sorry if my English isn't that good haha! I'm from Finland. Sending hugs to you ❣️
I really hope you have a wonderful Christmas!! Sending love
randomtigers247 Thank you so much ❤️ I hope you have a wonderful christmas as well!
Sending hugs back to you Tanyah. I hope this Christmas is a lovely one for you and your loved ones. x
Thank you for responding to my plea to help answer everyone so we can all feel a little more connected and loved. x
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard Thank you, this made me really happy 🧡 And yes, I hope everyone can feel connected and loved, it is very important and a kind idea! 💕
You got me tearing up Jessica T.T Such a kind, honest video. Thank you for your words, I hope people who are having a hard time will feel better after listening to you.
If anyone wants someone to talk to, I’m game for some pen pals whether email or snail mail lol. Just knowing someone is listening makes all the difference no matter the time of the year but for some the holidays are extra tough. I used to be in that horrible sinkhole once thanksgiving hit but thankfully (and after Urie a bit of therapy) I’m better. And I’m here to listen. 💖 Happy holidays guys, I hope it turns around for those having a hard time right now. I know it’s cliche but it does get better!!! 💖💖
You're awesome
Maaria Wahlström thank you, but honest I’m just trying to help
personally I don't like christmas because of my S.A.D and this is an amazing video. Thank you.
Helen Ross S A D ..?
Helen Ross me too, darling. It's a hard time, but it'll be spring in no time. I use a sun lamp, and it helps a bit
I have S.A.D too! But it’s in the summer because of the lack of structure provided by school, where I can see my friends. I know how you feel, and just know that this will get better. :)
Claudia uses a sun lamp alarm clock to help her wake up in the mornings, it's especially vital in winter. We've noticed she's a lot happier generally now she uses it. I think having a good start to the mornings can make all the difference!
Poéme Georgia Bower It stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Basically just seasonal depression brought on by colder weather, less daylight, and it generally being a stressful time of year.
Just that was a really great video and you are right Christmas for a lot of people is the time reevaluate what’s going on, make important decisions! I think about my donor and his family I will remember him in my Christmas traditions-I feel reflection is good! Xxx
I haven’t even watched video yet and I needed to comment! I just told my friend yesterday that the holidays actually make me really sad. It’s been different since my dad died 10 years ago, and his family stopped communicating with us (they are our only local relatives). I also just learned that I was molested when I was a kid and dissociated so much that I have no memory of it t all. But the hard part is that my mom and brother are in total denial that anything has happened, so I have to pretend to be happy and like Christmas and I just don’t. On top of everything else, I have bipolar disorder and really severe anxiety to manage. . I need to hear more about being okay with having a rough time around Christmas!
Rebecca Brazil I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But I want to say, take care of yourself. Take some time for yourself and be strong. You can make it through this season. It may be rough right now because you might be feeling alone. I certainly understand that sensation. But you’re not alone. You’re never alone. 💜
I know several people who have gone through similar situations and honestly, I'm always amazed by the strength and resiliency shown by them. Its true that these things change your life in unimaginable ways but you also don't have to let the things that you have happen to you define who you are. You aren't what happened to you and your bipolar isn't who you are either. These things are parts of you that eventually, hopefully, over time you learn to manage and make peace with. And you will. The friends I have who have gone through similar situations... they've come out the other side much, much stronger and with a kind of courage that I'll never have. Whatever situation you're in or whatever you're going through right now, it IS okay. And you are okay
I hope you can find some support soon. I can't name any off the top of my hat, but I know that there are a lot of groups online for people who are going through similar things. Being able to talk to people who can actually relate to what you've been through and what you're struggling with can help so much. Take care
I think the overwhelming response to this video demonstrates that you are not alone in being unhappy at this time of year. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through so much, but I also think that you are remarkably brave and should be proud of yourself for facing all that adversity and not giving up. I hope you're able to find things this season that bring you some cheer. Be gentle with yourself and hang in there.
Rebecca Brazil glad you are here with us today. Keep finding inspiration for living.
Thank you so much for this video. I thought you may like to know, but for a long time I despised Christmas. The festive season made me very depressed and fearful - Christmas time meant I was forced to spend time with my abusive father and also witness fighting between family and all sorts of things. The weeks leading up to Christmas were terrible as I dreaded the day. But this year will be the first year I celebrate Christmas without my father around. I feel the childlike joy again, I feel excitement for the holidays. I won't lie, I shed a few tears putting up the tree because it's been so long since I've felt this sort of excitement for Christmas and the first time in a long time that I've felt this happy and safe.
To anyone struggling right now, know that there is a light at the end of every tunnel, and that things will get better. There is help all around, there is happiness all around, you just need to grab it. You have a world of support and I wish all the best for you, and hope that whatever hardship you are facing will get better soon.
Have a wonderful holiday!! I'm so happy you get to make new memories this year
Chloe Elliott Thank you so much 😊 I'm excited for the new memories to come!
Jay That's wonderful! I'm so glad you are enjoying yourself now as you should have been able previously. Sometimes the best way to win is to live well. *internet hugs*
Thank you, Jessica, for saying just what I needed to hear today! I have anxiety and depression that have steadily been getting worse over the last year. My Dad is getting chemo for stage four cancer and also has Alzheimer’s. My brother, my only living sibling, has end stage heart disease. This is been a very difficult Christmas season for me, even difficult to feel the joy of celebrating the birth of my Savior.
Thank you for sharing the difficult Christmas times you went through, so helpful to so many of us to hear you! I love that you made Christmas a time of spoiling yourself! Perspective changer! Your plea for kindness was beautiful! It was also very sweet to see Claudia and Tilly and Walter gather in for a family hug! Strangely comforting to me to see them comfort you! Merry Christmas to you and your lovely family!
PhoebeFay RuthLouise I'm sorry to hear of your family members' illnesses. Many oncology and palliative care units have counselling services available. Perhaps your religious leader can help you with finding support too. *internet hugs*
Alexis Montez Thanks for the reply and internet hugs! That’s such a great suggestion for the available services!
Everything about you is so kind and generous and loving and amazing. You are the living proof that people can come through anything, can be positive through anything, can be who they want to be despite all that life can throw at them. I wish I could express how thankful I am for you and your channel and your genuineness through writing but I fear I cannot. The love and care and thought I can feel through the screen is so intense, and I don't feel I've felt such understanding from anyone in such an incredibly long time - and so for me to feel it through a screen, from someone on the otherside of the world is the most profound thing. So thank you so much- To you, Jessica, and Claudia, Clara, Walter and Matilda. Thank you for all you bring on this channel, for me personally, and to so many others around the world. Thank you for being the one person who understands, even though you have no idea who I am. Thank you for bringing me hope, laughter, understanding and kindness in a place I felt was lost of those attributes. Thank you for giving me positivity in an environment that's so negative- Thank you for giving me an escape and being someone that could never fail to lift my day- even through illness and tears, you manage to create some sort of positivity, and I will forever be grateful for all the work that you do and all the effort you put in for your viewers. Thank you so, so, so much- it might be cliche or cheesy but I really do believe you turned my life around, I'm surviving again; maybe even thriving.
I hope that you have a holiday that is safe, full of self love, and people that you enjoy
Thank you so much :) wish you all the love this season too x
Wow, that was beautiful! Exactly what I would’ve said if I could find the words!
BABY YOUR ON TRENDING
Also I really love how personal amd lovely your videos are!
This Christmas is going to be really hard for me. Knowing I'm not alone in that thought is really comforting. Thank you Jessica.
Even if it gets more difficult than you expected, remember to treat yourself in whatever way you see fit
Basketofkittens Thank you, that's so kind! I'm taking the time today and tomorrow to bake a fruit cake, because that will make me happy.
xAlbinopiratex So glad you are taking the time to do something that gives you joy! Yum to fruitcake!
So, I only very recently discovered your channel and not only do I adore vintage fashion (although sadly it is not really something I can partake in myself since the fashion for men doesn't seem to make my heart flutter the same way), but your discussions about disability have not only helped to educate me about physical disabilities but given me a new language to help talk about my own mental illnesses (severe depression and anxiety with a healthy dose of insomnia for good measure) and I cannot thank you enough for that. This video in particular was brilliant and it made me cry for all sorts of reasons, both good and bad, to do with family and isolation and mental health.
So, yeah, thank you Jessica. Your channel and your family give me hope that I can build a good life for myself, not matter what happens.
Oh and if I can scrape together the postage, you most certainly will be receiving a Christmas card from me this year.
Hi, Whimsical. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your struggles, but I believe it is possible for you to build a good life for yourself in spite of them. Please don't convince yourself otherwise--it's often ourselves that holds us back from finding some of the happiness that we deserve. All the best to you.
I was watching this video in a much needed relaxing bath and my gosh woman you are a true gem to the world. I must admit I was in tears when you were talking about being in a dark place and how Christmas for a lot of people is extremely hard. This year will probably mark the last christmas (last few months) with my dad before cancer takes him away to live with other people that have since passed....soo...i was in tears. But i agree!! If anyone has a sliver of love and kindness...pay it forward and pass it on. xx
I hope you can treasure this time and have a beautiful christmas despite the shadow of the future. Keep taking care of yourself ~
Honestly, as someone who hasn't had it in them to be a "Christmas person" in a long time because of various life stresses and situations, seeing a video like this really means a lot. I know logically there's a lot of pressure of all sorts centered around christmas, but it always felt like such a small, stupid thing to feel guilty and sad over feeling like you Have to enjoy it but can't, or to have the Perfect one like everyone else, or being fixated on how they used to be in comparison to now, so even just seeing the title was like a little breath of fresh air -- a little "Oh." moment that was deeply appreciated.
I got my girlfriend to start watching your videos as well, and she's coming to visit over her winter break -- our first time spending Christmas and New Years together physically after almost 2.5 years of dating long distance, and I'm looking forward to watching the rest of your vlogmas videos with her and having the best kind of christmas I can make for myself, whatever that may be.
Thanks so much for being you Jessica
I'm glad you're set on making it Your kind of Christmas :) Don't mind about how others have it, especially since it's mostly just facade we see of others' holidays.
Thank you, Jessica, for being such a bright light and inspiration for all of my friends who also have disabilities. You inspire them and you also inspire me to be the best version of ourselves. I would also like to add that you have gorgeous hair, an amazing sense of style and always looking stunning. Which in reality is all just the cherry on top of you being a truly amazing person. Love you and best wishes from across the pond.
I only recently found your channel but you have honestly helped me to be just that bit happier each day, even though I have been going through a hard time. I hope you have an amazing day 🎄
Hi jessica, im not usually one for commenting and even if you dont see this, I just wanted to say how glad I am that i have found your channel. It has made me put a lot of things into perspective and I admire your positive attitude towards things that I am going to try and adopt myself! Going to miss a video everyday when vlogmas is over! :) xx
You are a pretty amazing person. Sometimes being a person with so many autoimmune diseases takes it toll and I can't celebrate as much as I would like too.I admire you making videos while being sick and throwing up. I can't even speak when I'm that ill which sadly is too often.I still love Christmas even though I have lost my Dad,my brother and the worst my nephew to suicide. There is always something that makes life bearable.friends and pets make me happy.
From the very beginning of the video i knew Jessica was going to cry because it looked like she was fighting back tears the entire time. I can't say how refreshing and unique this video is because everyone ignores the pressure, sadness or whatever other negatives we ALL deal with at Christmas. This time of year I reflect on the year and hope to improve next year. Christmas intensifies our feelings and because it's the end of the year it can be filled with regret because we feel like it's too late to fix things and because everyone else is "jolly" or in the "Christmas Spirit" it can make you feel sad that everyone else seems to be happier than you but reality is they can be hurting just as much but not show it and THAT'S what makes this video so genuine.
Thank you for this video. Due to a combination of my own mental illness, physical disabilities, and the loss of my grandfather, the last few weeks have been exceptionally difficult. It's hard, dealing with loss and trying to come to terms with the fact that you're never going to get better. Its even harder when you have to keep explaining that to the people around you who just don't understand. I discovered your channel the day after I lost my grandpa and your videos have been a bright spot for me. This is a video that I really needed right now. Thank you so much, I really appreciate everything you do.
MonsterTopus best wishes for getting through this month, as in sure it will be a struggle. Don't be afraid to take time for yourself when you need to, because you can't help those around you if you don't take care of yourself first. Loss close to a holiday will always hurt, but it gets easier with time ❤
Take good care of yourself. I think I can offer a little bit of hope for you--even mental illnesses that are technically permanent can still get better in a way. You can learn coping mechanisms that will help your general well being so much. Things will get better again.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My family lost my grandma this time last year. I know our Christmas was very subdued. We are doing much better a year on, though I’m sure my mum will have a little cry this year. It’s honestly just one foot in front of the other till one day you realise you’re doing much better. Thinking of you. I know what you’re going through. Xxx
Jessica you are SO amazing!!! Thank you for your strenght and honesty.
I started watching this channel because i liked looking at your face and hearing your english accent but this was actually touching. ty
I often struggle with Christmas because I feel like I should be happy, but I just can't be, and so that makes me feel even worse. The same thing happens with birthdays too sometime. It's really just luck of the draw whether it's one of my depressed days, but if it is, it being a celebratory occasion makes things that much harder.
We do tend to pile up expectations for special events and holidays, and letting go of them can be tough. Doesn't matter if they come from yourself or from others. I think Jessica's way of thinking is really great: A special occasion is an opportunity to spoil yourself. I think that includes letting yourself feel however you feel. "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" goes the song, it sometimes loops in my head when I'm sad on a "happy day". But I hope you can also find things you enjoy doing around Christmas and get some feelings of contentment as well!
Hi Caitlin, I know it can be hard to feel "forced" to be happy. I spend half of my birthday crying in bed last year, even though there was nothing to be sad about rationally. Don't feel pressured to be in a great mood. Talk to the people around and maybe enjoy the celebration with a little bit of space to yourself. Just so you can take a break when you need to. And if it's a really terrible day, then stay in bed, watch a movie and eat some cookie, there will more christmases.
Jessica, you are such a kind and compassionate person. You are touching so many and I am proud to say I am one of your subscribers. 💛
So much love to you, Claudia and the puppies. The best of "Christmas" that we each can make, for each other, is my wish for you.
Thank you for this video. My family recently had a massive falling out with another family member. They are emotionally manipulative and verbally abusive, and frankly I am afraid of them due to the aggressive nature of some of the things they said. To make matters more emotionally confusing, this person is also terminally ill - something they constantly made sure we remembered whenever we would bring up our own personal hardships, to guilt-trip us for them not being the constant center of our concerns.
Christmas was always our one big family holiday, where we would all get together just once a year. Everything felt "right" seeing everyone together and enjoying each other's company. After this falling out, and no longer seeing this family member for going on a year-and-a-half now, Christmas feels... empty, in a way. I don't regret cutting this person out of my life, but it's like there's something hanging in the air around Christmas, that we dare not speak of this person. It's like this all throughout the year, but I feel it especially around December. And it sucks. Christmas is my favorite time of year, and this weight hanging on everything - the weight of what this person did to us, the weight of internalizing everything because everyone is so tired of discussing it, the weight of this person maybe not living to next year and the associated guilt of no longer speaking to them (even though I know on some level I have nothing to feel guilty for) - it gets to be a lot and is overwhelming compounded on my own mental health which is..... not great. Like I said, it's a lot. Talking to a professional is not currently an option, unfortunately.
We, mostly my mom and I, still do the things we love around this time of year. Baking, decorating, watching our favorite holiday movies. Things to foster good memories even though not everything is sparkles and rainbows right now. It's still hard, but having these things to look forward to and reflect on after the holidays helps, if only a bit.
This is longer than I expected it to be, and it's kind of jumbled, but it feels good to let it out.
Kay yeeesh that sounds very unpleasant to have to deal with. Australia has a free counselling helpline called Lifeline. Does your country have something similar? I hope you are able to get the help you need, and that next Christmas is at least a little calmer than this one. *internet hugs*
Sending internet hugs as well, and a reminder to take care of yourself and allow yourself to treat yourself to something you would like or enjoy.
Thank you for sharing your story. I admire your strength and the skill it takes to keep going forward in such a difficult situation. Doing things you enjoy, especially together with someone dear to you, and writing about your experiences are both excellent ways to cope, in my opinion. Keep going and be kind to yourself ~
I have never watched a vlogmas before but I wait every day for yours. Thank you so so much for making the videos they are helping me so much it is like you read my mind and knew just what I needed the past three days; nausea check, layers check and today again. Thank you for making me feel not so alone.
Sarah Blackburn I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and can find comfort in this community of people who watch Jessica's videos, remember to treat yourself kindly and allow yourself to relax
Christmas and Birthdays are the clearest markers of the passage of time.
Congrats on the dedication to fanfic, never underestimate the power of creative writing xxx
Thank you for talking about this! There is so much pressure to be HAPPY during Christmas, and the contrast between what we are and what we SHOULD be is at its highest. We need more people to say it's okay to be alone, to be sad, to be at work...during this time of year. It's too impossible of an ideal otherwise.
I rarely comment on videos, but this one means a lot. Been dealing with several things in the past few months (ending a long-term relationship, stress at work, family problems, etc) and this Christmas seems very different. You’re so adorable and your videos always cheer me up ❤️
Thank you so much for this lovely video! people alway push to be happy during positive christmas. For me christmas used to be a very happy moment. Presents, doing fun stuff with friends and lots and lots of food. That changed a few years ago, when my best friends decided I wasn't usefull anymore, so christmas was very lonely for me. Besides that i was diagnosed with severe IBS, which meant i could go out easily for dinner anymore. People didn;t understand it though. I was so scared to be in pain, that I wanted to avoid going out for dinner. However, people started to complain to me that 'it wasn;t that bad' and 'I should act normal', so I went with them (big mistake). For the last 3 years my christmas is sick in bed with a hell lot of pain from food (and does negative feelings from being alone didn;t help either). This year i don't feel alone anymore. I'm doing fine. My IBS is still pretty bad, but less severe. people still complain, but I'm sick and tired of hearing it, so for once I'm going to stand up for myself. If I cant eat, I wont eat it!
I'm really sorry people have been giving you a hard time with your illness, that's not cool. I don't know if they are your friends or family but they should not treat you like that. Stand up yourself and enjoy the food when you can. Listen to your body and maybe some christmas songs :)
You are truly amazing! I’ve been scrolling through the comments and everyone is sharing their stories. You have such a positive impact on each and every one of your viewers. Thank you so much for your hard work, dedication, honesty, and kindness! I am so lucky I stumbled upon your channel. You have quickly become my favorite TH-camr.
Carleigh Newland So true! Jessica is so amazing and these comments are so inspiring!
This is the biggest helping of Honey Nut Feelios I've had in a while. My girlfriend and I are weeping the gayest tears over this. Thank you. Y'all are awesome -- cheers from across the pond.
I'm a few days late to this video but I really appreciated you, Jessica, taking the time to address the sadness or loneliness that can happen around Christmas (or other holidays depending on your religious practices). It's been three years since my father unexpectedly (and suddenly) passed away, and I still struggle with his absence all through the month of December. I'm fortunate that my mother is extremely supportive of my not so festive attitude and allows me the freedom to join or not join extended family functions when I am having a harder day dealing with his death. Like you mentioned in your video, self-love and self-care are the best ways to maybe find a silver lining. It's okay to not be okay, and it's also okay to eat ALL the Christmas cookies if you want! Sending love to those who have lost a loved one, and sending love to everyone else who supports this amazing channel.
Thank you so much for this video! Its lovely to have someone say that it is totally okay to not feel amazing over christmas. Some days i really hate christmas and i am normally a person that is pretty happy but i have a long term medical condition that gets me down, especially around christmas because it means i have had it for another year. THANK YOU for saying its okay to be sad. I truly love your channel and it is the highlight of my week when your videos come out.
This video is so perfect jessica! My life has changed so much in the past year and christmas feels...different...this year. Thanks for reminding me its okay. Youre so articulate and graceful.
Marianne Black I know isn’t she wonderful! I needed the reminder too. I don’t know your situation, but I hope you find some much deserved peace, love, and joy in the new year.
Thank you Briana!! Youre too sweet!! I hope you enjoy the same!! You made my week!
I don't usually cry much, but this got me hard. My dog just died, and I am dealing with a couple of mental and chronic illnesses. Thank you for this video.
Edit: Thank you all for the nice comments.
Jolie Edwards I i know it hurts...Im sending you big internet hugs. Come here with us if you want to talk and maybe even laugh! Welcome to your internet home :)
I'm so sorry :( I hope that the holiday can be an opportunity to celebrate your dog's life and that you get lots of support from people you love
So sorry for your loss..
It’s so hard losing a loved pet I absolutely feel your pain. Just know you gave them the best life and you rock!!!!x
This video really touched me where I am today, so for that I thank you. Also, you are lovely, your wife is lovely, your dogs are lovely, your home is lovely! I hope you enjoy your Christmas season.
Just here to wish you an enjoyable Christmastime too, take care of your lovely self :3
I needed this. This made me tear up,I get really down around Christmas. Thank you for making this video and for just existing. You make me feel less alone. Big hugs to both of you🤗💛🧡❤️💚💙💜
Hey, I hope your holiday is full of peace and people you enjoy
Chloe Elliott hi! Thank you so much. I hope your holiday is full of peace and love as well.best wishes to you :)
I'm glad you're part of this little community that is Jessica's followers :) It's one of the most supportive youtube circles I've ever encountered.
Alison Laett you’re so sweet! I’m glad you’re part of this community too :) this channel is so positive and loving. Thank you for your reply, you made me smile! I hope you have a good day 🤗
Thank you for making this video,my brother died recently and this is my first x-mas without him,I really needed to hear this.♥️
M and L talk I am so sorry for your loss! Sending internet hugs!
So So sorry to hear that! Best wishes and I hope you have a great Christmas 💖💖
Thank you so so so much Jessica. I hope you know how helpful this was, and how much joy your videos bring me! (:
This put something into words that I've been feeling for years, thank you so much. Every holiday this year has been tough because of the passing of a family member and I know Christmas is going to be the worst on everyone. It really is okay to be sad around the holidays
I cried. Claudia and the dogs comforting you was the most adorable thing. Happy Christmas to everyone.
Thank you so much for this. I really needed it. This is the 3rd Christmas since I went no contact from my abusive family...yet I'm finding it the most difficult. I've been in the darkest place more often lately. The way you normalize chronic illness (I have a grab bag of mental illnesses) is a light in my darkness.
What a beautiful gift you are to so many! Even tho I am one of those struggling, I do my best to always uplift others, be it family, friend or the very angry/grumpy postal worker who seems to hate the world. It lifts me up, even if just for a short bit. I am so glad you encourage others to do the same. We need more kindness in the world. My struggle is such a combo of health, dissatisfaction in myself and inability to succeed , to often times function and rarely measure up to my own ideals ....I often just give up simply for the lack of being tired of the battle. Christmas as you said is a marker but it's also so much self imposed pressure and so much more is expected ....I could go on and on, but ....I just try to do my best to not let myself and in the stead focus on putting that one foot in front of the other and busy myself with uplifting others on instagram and here when I can.
Jessica, you are so inspirational. Im so glad to have found your channel. Its helping me so much 💕
Thank you for this Jessica, I find Christmas a difficult time and this made me see that I’m really not the only one. Hope you’re keeping well. 🎄
A very important message about the true meaning of Christmas, kindness, love and compassion for all - brought me to tears x
Thank you for being so REAL and and honest❤️ I always see TH-camrs talk about all the happy things (which isn’t wrong) but sometimes that sends a message that says that being sad is wrong during the holidays. Life isn’t always perfect even during the holidays and its good to talk about the hard things too
JESSICA!!!!!! dont cry we love you
This was a much needed video for me. A lot of people doing vlogmas try to only show the happy and positive times which is fantastic.. But for people who are sad for the Christmas season, it's videos like this that are much needed. Thank you! And thanks to everyone spreading positivity in the comments :)
Thank you so much Jessica for this video, sometimes I feel like I'm alone when I feel as sh*t as I currently do. My granny passed away a few years ago on the 26th of December, and that's when everything really went downhill. Then my granddad died the following September and I just crashed completely. Yesterday I finally decided that that was my day, and I was going to end my life. But as I was on the way to the bathroom, a teacher Must have figured out what I was about to do and basically stopped me, and because of her kindness I'm still here now. Xmas is a really difficult time for me, and is my least favourite time of the year, this video really did help me.
Thank you Jessica, and Claudia too for bringing a lot more happiness to my life, and for your videos which cheer me up whenever I feel like crap, thank you!
Rachel NicDhonnchada I am so very glad that your teacher was able to stop you from harming yourself! The world would be a worst place without you! Sending internet hugs to you! 💜
You are not alone. Please consider checking out what kind of support systems or crisis help there are available in your area. And keep watching these wonderful ladies that we all love so much for their struggles as much as for their happiness.
I agree with you. Use your energy for you. I used to hate Christmas time because I was alone and traveled, but then one day decided to make my mom's fudge which felt fantastic. Soon I was doing small things I used to enjoy, and found new traditions! Now Christmas is a happy time to reflect instead of wallow because I chose to use my energy to make myself happy.
I needed this today really! Today has been such a hard Day and Night. I feel useless really. I can’t get out of bad because my anxiety is just so bad in school and i just don’t have the energy either. I feel so alone and i can’t even enjoy Christmas which is my favorite time of the year.... and i just started watching you Jessica and you really do inspire me.
Bed*
I struggle(d) with severe chronic depression and anxiety during high school and college. At one point i thought i would never get ou of that dark place. Now it is almost 10 years later, although it is still difficult at some times, i just wanted to say that yes it does get better. It doesnt mean that everything will be fixed within one day but you will feel better. You will have better times. I hope you can take that message to heart. Also, dont be to hard for yourself, be proud of who you are and what you accomplished. Even if it seems like you are failing. For me it helped out to list at least 3 things that i was proud of that day before going to bed.
Sorry for my long ramble. =)
Anika Boelhouwer this means alot. Really. Thank you. I needed to hear that.
Stay safe dearest
randomtigers247 Thank you : ) - i hope you have an amazing Christmas
This video genuinely had me snuggling my dog and crying on her, couldn't stop thinking about my big brother who won't talk to me or my mum. He hasn't spoken to me in 2 years and I miss him so much. We don't know what we did but we were always a close family and he said we were never close and every time I think about him and how he should be here it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Also we found out this yeat that my grandad has freaking cancer, and my health is declining, so is my mum's health and my nan's...I feel like this year is the worst, I have so much that I feel like I should be happy about in my life but I can't stop thinking about the sad stuff because what if those things don't get better 😭❤
Zoe Crichton allow yourself to feel bad because that can help you to process all the new information that you have been getting, you don't owe it to anyone to be happy and allow yourself to feel. I hope you have a good holiday season and remember to treat yourself kindly and treat yourself to something special because you deserve it
Basketofkittens you genuinely just made my day better, thank you. It's hard to process ongoing problems when they're out if your control but I am trying. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season as well ❤
This is so lovely Jessica! I was made redundant recently and it's made me feel awful and depressed, especially as it happened so close to Christmas. But having positive videos like this really helps, you're so inspiring and kind :)
So beautifully said. Thank you for sharing your story and reaching out. So many people have a rough time at Christmas. I was one of them, for a long time, after losing my Dad. It's nice to see someone address what so many are thinking and feeling this time of year.