I Hate Being Transgender

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 1.1K

  •  3 ปีที่แล้ว +534

    This has nothing to do with being transgender in general. These are just my own personal feelings that I felt I needed to share. Love you, guys ❤

    • @maryannflannigan7468
      @maryannflannigan7468 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I have found that to jus going on with life as MaryAnn lets me think about what I need to think about it. I see Mike in the mirror all the time. I think what a lot if us trans girls error in is we try to be cis women, which will never be. We jus have to concentrate on who we want to be instead of trying to be something we're not. I hoped that helps. Love you my heroine. ❤❤❤💋💋💋

    • @ExvangelicalJess
      @ExvangelicalJess 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      This video could not have bee timelier! I’m so sorry that you are going through this right now, but your strength and courage in talking so openly about it gives me strength to deal with my own gender dysphoria issues right now. I can honestly say that I know exactly how it feels to look in the mirror and see a man staring back at me and feeling totally depressed about that and so much more. I think that I am right now dealing with most, if not all, of the same issues that you talk about, except that I don’t have a support system in place to help me through it. You mentioned all the love you get from your viewers. I don’t have that. You mentioned having your boyfriend. At my age I don’t even know how to go about finding a girlfriend. You speak 🗣 of reminding yourself of the good things about you. I honestly don’t feel like I have anything good to offer myself or anyone else. I struggle daily with gender dysphoria and severe depression and an utter lack of self-esteem. Most days I would rather be dead than have to continue this way. For me, the light at the end of the tunnel is a freight train speeding down the track at me and all I see is impending doom with no hope of survival. I thank you again for being so open about your own struggles. Just knowing that someone like you struggles too helps me believe that if you can deal with these things then maybe there’s hope for me as well.

    • @DanielleNicoleMakeup
      @DanielleNicoleMakeup 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Hey Mathilda, I don't know if this will make a difference or not bc I am not trans, but I enjoy watching your videos because of YOU and YOUR personality. And I'd imagine I am not the only one. As a human we all go through struggles and rough patches and times can be hard to say the least. I could never imagine having gender dysphoria but from one woman to another, you got this girl! Every experience shapes the people we become. You are so strong for sharing your story and you are certainly not alone and help so many people! Maybe block the haters or ignore them bc you know who you are and screw them, they will not change their mind no matter what they say. Just know you are a role model for sharing your experiences and stay strong. We are all in this world together ❤

    • @edwardstaats4935
      @edwardstaats4935 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It is what you are feeling, thank you for sharing

    • @danielman4057
      @danielman4057 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Your best video... Speaking from your heart... Moved me...

  • @kevind5366
    @kevind5366 3 ปีที่แล้ว +175

    Ok.. your opening statement made me cry. Only you can know your feelings. Transgender is something no one can understand unless they are in that situation. I don’t and never pretend to know how you feel or what you are going through. All i can say is I support you and everyone dealing with that.

    • @toast_69sus
      @toast_69sus ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you for this comment I'm a trans guy and it's really hard with all the mean comments I see people put thank you very much for your support 😊😊

  • @minacarroll8867
    @minacarroll8867 3 ปีที่แล้ว +342

    All i can tell you is that when i see you i only see a girl called mathilda. You have such a beautiful spirit. Now your making me cry 🦋❤

    • @samanthaadams619
      @samanthaadams619 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Greatly agreed. She's all lady in my book.

    • @elizabethconroy7665
      @elizabethconroy7665 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Completely agree

    • @audriesiegel7963
      @audriesiegel7963 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      All woman

    • @markfoster1520
      @markfoster1520 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I fourth that.

    • @cdsouthsidec1
      @cdsouthsidec1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I'll Five Thousand That, and more power, strength, confidence, victory and humor, love, respect and support to you and to surround you, inspire you and many trans women now and always. ❤ 🤍 💙 🧡 🖤 ♥️ ❤ 🤍 💙 🧡 🖤 ♥️ ❤ 🤍 🙏

  • @allisonhess9043
    @allisonhess9043 3 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    my heart hurts for you girl, I hear the pain in your voice and I really feel for you! just know you have much love girl you are an amazing woman please don't forget it!

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Allison, None of us is spared pain but that makes the outcome so beautiful. it takes a strong character to deal with all the changes. enjoy ❤️

    • @allisonhess9043
      @allisonhess9043 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@oliviawutam You are so right! every word of it, I glad to be surrounded by so many strong resilient sisters ❤

    • @bluebic9979
      @bluebic9979 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Tristan Wintle you the one commenting on everything bud, think you might be in the closet lmao

    • @itsdogz2775
      @itsdogz2775 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Not a girl it's a bloke

  • @starpop409
    @starpop409 2 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Most people use the "youre so beautiful" crap all the time. But I clicked on your video because you were SO beautiful and passable. All I see, even as you talk about it on camera, all I see is a girl. You're litterally where i WISH i was and you make me think, I should have transitioned earlier before I got so manly. I hope you can find some coping because you honestly look and sound amazing

  • @emilialockhart6733
    @emilialockhart6733 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    I'm glad that you are who you are. You inspired me to accept myself and come out almost 2 years ago. Coming out saved my life. Thank you ❤

    • @vklnew9824
      @vklnew9824 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You're cute and gf material

  • @oonamorrioghanblackthorne
    @oonamorrioghanblackthorne 3 ปีที่แล้ว +228

    As a 60 year old transgender woman I completely understand. Even though I’ve getting my surgeries and my face is now more feminine I still struggle with disphoria. It’s a lifetime warranty. I avoid mirrors a lot. Still working on my voice. Crying helps.

    • @hollow795
      @hollow795 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Surround yourself with friends who support you unconditionally. It may not help every day, but you’ll have more joy in your life. At 60, it’s time to get rid of BS in your life.

    • @Nick-lr3ik
      @Nick-lr3ik 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You are deceiving yourself to think you are a woman. Men can’t become woman

    • @r-platt
      @r-platt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      If you need help with your voice, text me. I've been working on mine for a few months and have had some success.

    • @r-platt
      @r-platt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@ditjedatje9741 ** TROLL ALERT **
      If you were half the human you think yourself to be you'd NEVER use the words "mutilate" and "sterilize" when addressing a trans person of ANY age.
      For the record some of us ARE cured.
      And most (98%) of us experience a significant improvement in mental health.

    • @r-platt
      @r-platt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@ditjedatje9741 You aren't transgender. If you were you'd realize how wrong you are about transitioning and how much your poor choice of words hurts.
      If you want to know us, please ask.

  • @Jorge-tx1nz
    @Jorge-tx1nz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Always remember you ARE a woman and try to lean on the ones who love you. I hope you break out of this bad patch. Lots of love.

    • @gabbymartinez8267
      @gabbymartinez8267 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Tristan Wintle she looks great srry ure miserable babe:(

  • @transqueens6206
    @transqueens6206 3 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    The first step to feeling better is to talk about it, you're already there Mathilda. Be with your loved ones and talk to them, let it out. Much love 💜

  • @jakthebomb
    @jakthebomb 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    This is exactly what I go through. Gender Dysphoria sucks so hard. Well said, and hang in there, you got this :)

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bingo, same for all of us ❤️

    • @jo3ydiamond461
      @jo3ydiamond461 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah same been thinking about going on hormones but idk

  • @alexlovescats
    @alexlovescats 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    It takes a lot of bravery to make such videos and say what's on your mind. Mathilda, thank you for showing that it's okay to recognize you're dealing with hardships.

  • @katewuts
    @katewuts 3 ปีที่แล้ว +333

    As a trans woman I completely understand how hard it is. I hate that life has to be hard for us but we will all get through this together!

  • @alexandrorocca7142
    @alexandrorocca7142 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    I noticed that Mathilda and other transgender creators choose to interact with people who are either not supportive or straight-up haters with the purpose of exposing their bad ideas, but by doing that, they are subjecting themselves to a lot of negativity that can affect their mental well being.
    Take a break from that kind of content, people who like you won't leave your channel. Sometimes I give a thumb up to a video that I don't even watch because I know that it would make me feel bad even though I'm not a member of the LGBTQ community. 💛

    • @icyglam1895
      @icyglam1895 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I agree some days I can’t even watch her or Samantha Lux even though I support and subscribe to them. Too much hate, ignorance can be bliss

    • @preciousgiulia
      @preciousgiulia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You are right, as a transgender woman and at the same time a follower of transgender creators sometimes it's difficult for me to watch so many hate against other women in my same condition not only here in TH-cam but everywhere. I feel to be lucky to have a *normal* life with a great family, a job, and good friends, but how many transgender people have to struggle every single day of their life just to go on and survive?!

    • @moirarinn7826
      @moirarinn7826 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The answer isn't for us as Trans Women to hide, the answer is for society to accept us. Hiding isn't going to make the hate disappear and our mental well being is more impacted by our dysphoria than anything else. As Mathilda said, it is internal, our condition is what gives the haters any power over us at all, because their words reinforce the demons in our own minds... But, we don't need to be told when to seek shelter, and most of us simply can't anyway.

    • @alexandrorocca7142
      @alexandrorocca7142 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@miketonon7946 Nope, is a banjo filled with French fries. Sorry, I don't speak nonsense very well.

    • @tgurlamber5874
      @tgurlamber5874 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have been going on 6 years plus and I don't let things stop me. This young one is doing fine. It will make her stronger. No one should hide. Live life.

  • @RachelPeacock
    @RachelPeacock 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Nobody WANTS to be trans.. I hate it too.
    I think you are one of the most beautiful women ever. I'm SO insanely jealous of how incredibly feminine you are and living my dream. If I could afford srs in my lifetime, I'd hit the gym,or the lake but I feel so crippled.
    It hits us all differently, but yeah girl, I'd trade you lives . Feel better, we'll get through it somehow

    • @matthewjohnson7180
      @matthewjohnson7180 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You are beautiful, I hope you know that

    • @matthewjohnson7180
      @matthewjohnson7180 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What is the purpose of your comment dude?

    • @-delilahlin-1598
      @-delilahlin-1598 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MichaelM28 You’re a sad person

    • @morozov6258
      @morozov6258 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Awww

    • @morozov6258
      @morozov6258 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      What’s the purpose of YOUR comment tho😂

  • @witchhazel975
    @witchhazel975 3 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    I can see why this was such a hard video to make. I felt it deep down even though I’ve been able to even out my own dysphoria since coming to terms with my trans identity. I hoped it would go away, but I can see that there will be days that are harder than others. All the love in the world!

    • @witchhazel975
      @witchhazel975 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ditjedatje9741 Are there videos where people are being less genuine? Honest question. I feel that there are a lot of people who want to shout down trans people, but the actual people going through this mess are far more willing to open up about their experiences.

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Witch, you have the right spirit, sister. ❤️

    • @slaykween9
      @slaykween9 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Tristan Wintle she never was a man, if she was, she wouldn’t have to transition. Just because YOU don’t understand trans people, doesn’t mean they don’t know about themselves. Cope harder

  • @christiewoods325
    @christiewoods325 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Hi Mathilda,
    I first watched your video with Chloe from the Chloe connection this week. I can understand what you've stated and how you feel. All I can say is it is evident you are truly a beautiful person inside and out. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to be kind and gentle to yourself. Please be kind and gentle to yourself. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!
    Many Hugs!!!
    Christie

  • @PhlyMoneYTruth1
    @PhlyMoneYTruth1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Trust me love bug, all of us trans girls know exactly what this feeling is you’re having… I’m actually going thru this feeling right now but this too shall pass… keep pushing sis you’re beautiful ❤️💋

    • @PhlyMoneYTruth1
      @PhlyMoneYTruth1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Tristan Wintle typical miserable ass reply lol thanks for giving me your energy sweetie haaaaa 😂😂😂😂

    • @Diamoondust
      @Diamoondust 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Tristan Wintle lol get a life

  • @Hointser
    @Hointser 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I'm sorry you feel this way Mathilda I hope you get happy again. We all want you to feel better again.

  • @JennaCee
    @JennaCee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I really hope you have a support group. That is soooo important and if you don't please create one - even here on YT or start one via Zoom or something. I've gone through most if not all of this. And there is really no reason to have the adjective in front of who you are.... A woman...... You are the one who places it there.

  • @havron117
    @havron117 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    You are beautiful ❤️ and love you 💗 it's okay not to be okay. I and all who follow you (hope it's ok to speak for them ) will always support you and love you and be here for you ..

  • @fallyn2920
    @fallyn2920 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Same, i hate it. Best i can be is an emulation, a synthetic version of the real. Beats being a guy but it's still a mind bending experience. Wish i wasn't trans. Happy to have transitioned, would've done it all again but dammit is the cost high on a person.

  • @colormepoetryproductions4685
    @colormepoetryproductions4685 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    “When life gives us lemons we make lemonade” so don’t ever look at something as a problem, it’s just a set up for a higher calling. Great video and Keep up the good work!

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's the spirit exactly, Grownups are supposed to handle this ok, I do ❤️

  • @rachellewis5210
    @rachellewis5210 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    My body dysmorphia has been really bad lately :/ and while it’s not the same it can be really debilitating in how I see myself especially when I’m wearing something that makes me feel dysmorphic. Mathilda you are absolutely gorgeous but sometimes it’s harder to believe than others but just try to reflect on how you feel when you feel good ♥️😌 and it’s ok to have your lows, without them there are no highs. Love you

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rachel, those feelings hit everybody not only trans,

  • @ariak.5394
    @ariak.5394 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Youre a strong woman !!!!!!!!! 🥺😭❤️ and you‘ve such a big heart, love u and always here for you 💔

  • @leismichael86
    @leismichael86 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    to me a transgender woman is one of the strongests person of the world always fighting from the inside but the final product is the most beautiful person one can be. the love yourself thing hit me hard because there are times i do not love myself and it is hard to see what can be. thank you for being who you are i appreciate it.

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Michael, thanks, ❤️

  • @Sergeant_Fury
    @Sergeant_Fury 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Masculine features? Are you kidding? First thing; stop looking in the mirror all the time. Women are forever worried about their looks. You look like Kate Winslet, for crying out loud.

  • @joecool1588
    @joecool1588 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    I don’t really know what to write as a comment here. I have tried a couple times now. But I guess I’ll just say this. We are all here for you and we all love you. I believe in you and I just want you to know that you are an inspiration to me and everyone else on the channel. Thank you so much for what you have done for all of us.

    • @RheubenRheuben
      @RheubenRheuben 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well said

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's nice to support her, I had nobody, still don't I'm very happy with myself

  • @rubygrenshaw5851
    @rubygrenshaw5851 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Girl you can make it. You're beautiful inside, and out!! I understand.... I'm an older transgerder female. I look in the mirror, and ask the same thing... it's ok to be emotional..... I cry a lot. I wish I was born a biological female 😪. We have to cheer up, and continue onward, and upward. 💘

  • @laurenmccann6835
    @laurenmccann6835 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I still love this channel. Thanks Mathilda for making my days better

  • @NickyTannock
    @NickyTannock 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I will always listen when you need to talk, like in this video. And I appreciate your advice a lot because I know what it's like to notice something masculine about yourself when you don't see yourself in it. For me, it's like being hit in the face with a funhouse-mirror.

  • @emmaeriksson7155
    @emmaeriksson7155 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    How nice of you to share! It pushed me a little bit towards to be more understanding when it comes to gender dysphoria. I don’t think I could ever get it as a cis girl but it sound a lot like when you goes through a hard depression. like it’s doesn’t matter what you look like in the mirror cause all you can see is the imaginary demon version of yourself.
    Take care!

    •  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ❤️❤️

  • @darrogante
    @darrogante 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This video that you bravely and vulnerably did for us, is about compassion towards self and others. Thank you

  • @rachelstuckey9913
    @rachelstuckey9913 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Thanks for sharing your struggle! You're very brave for making yourself vulnerable by posting your thoughts for the world to see. Considering that suicide rates are very high among transgender people, getting this in the open could potentially save someone's life. I know how you feel......I have the same struggles as a trans woman which have taken me to very low places emotionally. I will say that experiencing the lows helps me to appreciate the good things even more. I have several transgender friends and they are some of the most genuine and kind people I've ever known. I started my transition late in life (I'm 44) after serving a full career in the military. Although I wish I had been born as a cis female I can say that I will never wonder if the grass is greener on the other side, because I have been on both sides of gender. I am so thankful that because of advancements in medical technology and political support I am NOW able to live my life fully authentically. You were born at a wonderful time in history where you could align your body with your soul early in your life. Keep fighting the good fight, and keep your chin up! You're a beautiful soul with a strong passion for good.

  • @crazylizze98
    @crazylizze98 3 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    I'm not trans, but I can relate. And it really does suck. Even if this doesn't make you feel any better, I just want to tell you that you are beautiful

    • @edkeithley6931
      @edkeithley6931 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I have to agree with most of the comments,
      As a straight man I can feel the same emotions, looking in the mirror, there are times when I don't like what I see, but I can't do much about that so, I DON'T LOOK IN THE MIRROR THAT MUCH,
      I know the inside of me and that's all I need

  • @garthrogers2269
    @garthrogers2269 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    In all of your videos, I see and hear a beautiful, strong, kind & incredibly brave woman. Sometimes, though, old wounds hurt and the mental wounds are always the worst.

  • @doncomedia6199
    @doncomedia6199 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I can't express all my feelings with normal words but I'll just say that we all support you and I personally hope you are doing okay Mathilda, we luv you 💕💕

  • @austere_kore
    @austere_kore 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    It's fine to have masculine features. I am a cis-woman and I feel that sometimes too. Of course, gender dysphoria is very different and this is something I will never know but; know that masculinity and feminity are energies. It's the yin and the yang. And, absolutely both of them have to exist within us in order to be a complete person. Mathilda, I came across your contents first through instagram. And I saw a very beautiful and elegant woman. I started following you. I didn't even know that you have an instagram page or you're a trans-woman. Then one day suddenly I bumped to your TH-cam because I was searching about PMS among trans-women. You're a beautiful, bright woman with a golden heart and with a beautiful journey ahead

  • @Elizabeth-ip7km
    @Elizabeth-ip7km 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I transitioned 25 years ago and still struggle with the same issues as you bring up. Thank you for talking about this. Big hugs

  • @wavybear5463
    @wavybear5463 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    We love you Mathilda. I watched one video and immediately subbed. You are beautiful and lovely and smart and funny and you are so important. and i hope you start seeing yourself that way soon. You're stronger than you know.

  • @idrankallthepaint9688
    @idrankallthepaint9688 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    major respect that you were able to tell your emotians i havent watched full vid yet but hope all thats difficult gets better

  • @bino0234
    @bino0234 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I totally understand you 100%. Like myself I say to myself why wasn't I born a cis woman, instead of trans. I had to ask and answer my own questions. It wasn't easy to answer the questions, I would cry and feel nobody truly understands me. Until I talk about this with friends they kinda knew. The bad thing about Dysphoria it will never truly go away but like you said believe and love yourself you can deal with it a little better

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sabrina, as we mature everything gets better. If a trans is unrealistic she'll never be satisfied, Fact is we can't be the same as a cis woman but can get very close,

  • @barti397
    @barti397 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow, that advise with butterfly effect is so helpful, thanks!! I’m dealing with the same s**t and you give me so much confidence at the beggining of my transition! 💛

  • @esahiltunen9648
    @esahiltunen9648 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you for educating me! You are beautiful inside and outside. Thank you so much!

  • @derwood773
    @derwood773 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hey, I just want you to know I love your channel. I'm trans too, and haven't really started my transition. And I'm scared about everything, and it's really comforting to watch your videos.

  • @runnbar
    @runnbar 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Well, I think that you are a beautiful and sensitive girl. I'm 67 years old, so I grew up in a time and place where you would have been picked on mercilessly; I would have picked on you too, in order to hide my own insecurities about my masculinity. I was wrong to be that way and everyone else who picked on less masculine boys would have been wrong too. We had no concept of being "trans" at the time. With age comes a bit more thoughtfulness and I am now able to be compassionate about trying not to hurt someone else's feelings and about actually seeing that a person can be a girl in their own minds and in their own souls, but have been born with male genitalia. I'm sorry for the way I was and the way that I behaved. In fact, I had some very feminine thoughts, mental and emotional characteristics as a young boy which I hid from everyone. There is a lot that I don't like about the world in which we live today, but the one thing that has changed exponentially for the better is that we, as a society, have learned to not just tolerate each other's difference, but to accept and celebrate those differences. In summary, I only see you as a girl and I hope that brings you some peace of mind and that it may in some small way assuage the pain and suffering of your gender dysphoria. Peace and love be with you for the rest of you days and all those who suffer in silence.

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you, BTW 67 is not old, I'm now 81 but think and act like 51 , seriously, ❤️

  • @amberdean1263
    @amberdean1263 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I relate to this so, so much and this is such a beautiful and deeply personal video. Thank you for sharing this and making me feel less alone.

  • @Alexis-ym5vq
    @Alexis-ym5vq 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I know it might not make you feel better because, like you said, nothing anybody says makes it better but just know that the community of us who support you will never give up on you and will always continue to love you no matter what. even if you aren’t to yourself, you are beautiful to us and a huge inspiration to be brave enough to cope with this and make this video. ❤️❤️

  • @jenniferstephany9231
    @jenniferstephany9231 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    I’m just starting my transition . I hate looking in the mirror and see a man staining back at me . The woman’s inside is screaming to come out and it’s finally going to happen this is so incredibly difficult to do but in the end I’m going to finally be free to be the woman I’ve always been .

    • @daisyjosephine768
      @daisyjosephine768 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ayo well said

    • @bellaxxi4116
      @bellaxxi4116 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is why I have no mirrors in my house 🙃.

  • @mseas9413
    @mseas9413 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    OMG girl, hang in there! The struggle is real and I know the experience all too well. Stay strong warrior, you got this.

  • @princesskatarina351
    @princesskatarina351 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for sharing this with us. It is so lonely when the disphoria hits. Those times when you look in the mirror, and hate what you see.
    I try hard not to look in the mirror too often, and when I do, to not concentrate on the features I know will distress me. I focus on my hair, on my eyes. When I'm shaving, at look just where the blades are, not the whole of my face.
    You and Samantha Lux are my rocks. You are both so wonderful. You brighten my day. So again, thank you for being in this viewer's life. You make the world a better place by bringing your wit, your grace, and your brilliance into it. 💝

  • @xoll1571
    @xoll1571 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    hope youre doing ok, you seem a bit down. sending you lots of love Mathilda

  • @stefl3431
    @stefl3431 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    You seem like a very strong person. And you are beautiful. :)
    "Enjoy" your bad times. They also make you who you are. I know.

  • @tgmickey513
    @tgmickey513 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you. It's easy for some of us to see you as a beautiful woman and be jealous (cuz you're freaking adorable), but it's also inspiring to hear that you have the same feelings as those of us that don't ( and won't) "pass" and that we're all vulnerable to that inner voice of doubt. It takes real strength to be real, I appreciate that more than I can say. Much love, and again, thank you for sharing yourself with us. You make a difference.

  • @thenovicenoisemaker
    @thenovicenoisemaker 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    You’re absolutely smoking hot ! I appreciate it’s about how you feel yourself but all I see is a beautiful woman with a heart of gold

  • @rheaross3800
    @rheaross3800 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’m with you, girl. You are fabulous, inside & out.🌻❤️

  • @coltonpelfrey2272
    @coltonpelfrey2272 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    You do not at all look like a man. It doesn’t matter what your gender dysphoria says or anybody else. You are a girl and you look like a girl. ❤️

    • @coltonpelfrey2272
      @coltonpelfrey2272 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@claytonbigsby9128 Okay. So girls are just reproductive organs to you then? Because that has to be the case cause she has a vagina and boobs. So quit voicing your unwanted irrelevant opinion.

    • @coltonpelfrey2272
      @coltonpelfrey2272 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@claytonbigsby9128 and you would be correct i am gay

    • @bradwiehn6448
      @bradwiehn6448 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@coltonpelfrey2272 I am not gay,and she is beautiful.

    • @coltonpelfrey2272
      @coltonpelfrey2272 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@bradwiehn6448 mhmm

    • @cubanmissl3818
      @cubanmissl3818 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Bruh straight up a man lol and especially the voice you can tell.

  • @divajai45
    @divajai45 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Stay strong! I too suffer from this, you’re beautiful regardless. Keep slayin 🥰

  • @hennisdoffman5412
    @hennisdoffman5412 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi Mathilda 🌸
    I just felt the need to communicate that one thing I’ve noticed with a lot of people who are transitioning or have transitioned is that the excitement of transitioning gets the best of them and more often than not, the kind of therapy they go through is often not properly skilled to help them understand the magnitude of their decision. I think for the most part, before are in rush to get rid of the feeling that comes with being trapped inside a body they would rather not dwell in. Most have the idea that transitioning will solve all their problems but all it does is open up to different problems they have never faced before. Once most people have transitioned, they spend a lifetime trying to convince their body that it’s female, that’s why at least I believe a lot of Trans women over compensate. The battle is a tug of war between who you were and who you’re becoming. It becomes difficult to bury who you were while also being difficult to arrive at a point where you feel feminine enough. It’s this constant pull between what was, what is and what should be. A lot of people then end up de-transitioning hoping that perhaps by doing so they won’t have to deal with gender dysphoria they way they did before but they’re also not prepared to deal with the mental challenges that come with de-transitioning. I think the battle is one of identity. I can’t imagine what you’re going through and what you’ve been through. The answer perhaps lies in the question: Who am I? Not who am I supposed to be, not who do people want me to be, not who do I think I am but rather who am I? Who am I behind all of these layers of struggles? If I didn’t have this body and I was just a gust of wind, what would I represent?
    I hope you get stronger and find ways to deal with this
    Love ❤️

  • @Laura-lh7xg
    @Laura-lh7xg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dear Mathilda,
    I think you are a wonderful person, inside and out! The butterfly effect is such a good advice to everyone! 🦋
    I hope you find more ways to love the reflection you see in the mirror. And I don't mean surgeries or beauty treatments. Much love to you 💖

  • @nighttree2
    @nighttree2 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    As a behavioral specialist, generally when people start sentences with disclaimers that they are not "trying to be to dramatic" or "too emotional" ....they are in fact covering that they explicitly plan to do just that.

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree ❤️

  • @jessicatymczak5852
    @jessicatymczak5852 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    You are a beautiful, awesome, wonderful women. We all understand how scary, hard, and heartbreaking transition can be. Lots and lots of ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ to you

  • @aurora1888
    @aurora1888 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You're not alone in this my beautiful friend. We are all in this together, stay strong as you've been so far, because if you don't stay strong, you won't know what's the beautiful ending. I LOVE YOU MATHILDA, FOR REAL ❤🌼🌻🦄🌸💋

  • @k.d.guadagno9235
    @k.d.guadagno9235 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "I see myself as a warrior..." So inspiring. Thank you for sharing, Mathilda.
    I needed to hear this advice. I've been in a dark place lately too.
    I have noticed your essence has been off lately. I've been keeping you in my thoughts.
    I don't know if you need to hear this, and I certainly hope it isn't crossing a boundary... I've seen you post about how social media stresses you. Please prioritize your mental health.
    Sending you so much love. 💕

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      K D good advice ❤️

  • @Marissahart95
    @Marissahart95 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Youre a gorgeous young woman.

    • @catherinehammond1519
      @catherinehammond1519 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Are you a flat earther? He is an XY,a feminine looking biological man.Grow up.

    • @momsspaghetti4862
      @momsspaghetti4862 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@catherinehammond1519 you sound like a pseudo masculine neckbeard soooo~

    • @momsspaghetti4862
      @momsspaghetti4862 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@catherinehammond1519 it would suck being a cis woman and being butt ugly.

    • @catherinehammond1519
      @catherinehammond1519 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@momsspaghetti4862 'cis'? What is that.Also,compared to a troonz identified m@n,I am Miranda Kerr. Your name is appropriate dude,the 'tard'part.

    • @momsspaghetti4862
      @momsspaghetti4862 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@catherinehammond1519 push ur agenda bruh classic conservitard

  • @EllieFeyFox
    @EllieFeyFox 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    As a trans woman, still pretty newly hatched, I resonate with this so hard.. Stay strong beautiful! We'll push through.

  • @tinap8227
    @tinap8227 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    ❤ Much love to you - I think nearly everyone of us can relate on some level.
    Your 'butterfly effect' has always been the reason I don't wish I was cis. I am more than happy with who I am, I know the struggles in my life have made me a better person. I love who I am and those in my life.
    We quickly learn to dismiss hateful people, but yes, dysphoria is that gremlin in the corner of your mind which rears it's head occasionally and we have little defense against. You are strong, WE are ALL strong, sadly some of us haven't made it but everyday, in tiny miniscule steps, I feel it gets slightly easier for the ones who come after us.

  • @MsFasty
    @MsFasty 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I think all of us trans women go through these things many times throughout our lives. We have to think about how much happier we are now than before. Try to see the positives and remember nobody’s life is perfect and without tough times

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@miketonon7946 silly question for sure

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Alison, You are so right. We are all different, we do the best we can to be satisfied ❤️

  • @bestwitch2931
    @bestwitch2931 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I love that every time I’m watching your videos you can even be making me cry but then you say something adorable like “give you advices”

  • @blasphemy1013
    @blasphemy1013 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Your videos have always inspired me and helped me find who I am. Keep being your wonderful self ❤️

  • @mrsrachelbell2018
    @mrsrachelbell2018 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I really just want to give you a big hug. I hope you're doing better now. You have been a huge inspiration to me with your videos and I thank you for all you do for the community.

  • @lacyvalenti9523
    @lacyvalenti9523 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    You are so gorgeous Mathilda and all I see when I look at you is a full woman! Remember you are so loved. It's extra hard being a public figure and being out there in the public eye, and I'm sure that's where a lot of the dysphoria is coming from. Just know you are so so so AWESOME!

  • @kenziestoneman7141
    @kenziestoneman7141 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Love you lots and lots Matilda I was texting my sister at the end of the video so I couldn't say goodbye to you but I love you as a very close sister and I hope you have a very wonderful week!!!!!

  • @sallysummers2797
    @sallysummers2797 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I know you posted this many months ago so I hope very much you are in a much more comfortable place with your transness now, without the dreaded dysphoria. I just want to send you some love from one part time trans woman to a full time trans woman, and just to say we love you just as you are. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
    Sally xx

  • @GooberOpinion
    @GooberOpinion 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Mathilda thank you so much for the message. I have been struggling for months now with my darkness. My father passed away May 11th of last year and i was ok with it until my aunt sent me his belongings. The biggest thing was his Flag cause he was a former service member . His death then hit me emotionally hard . A few Months before he passed . I told My family about my transition . He was 100% supportive. Thank you again for your words. If you feel down my inbox is always open to you or anyone.

  • @radiocorrective
    @radiocorrective 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Actually I feel the same way and I'm a cis girl that is generally considered pretty... but there are features about me that I percieve as masculine and I HATE it it ruins my self esteem. I also always see them in the mirror and it just doesn't look like what my ideal always has been and I feel other people can see these not so feminine traits I think I have.
    So this is a universal issue I think.

    • @oliviawutam
      @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi, I understand, I also try to fix things, you may be able to make changes you can afford? just experiment, that should be easy for YOU. ❤️

  • @BrianneAB
    @BrianneAB 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Stay strong girl. Some days suck, just have to push on through.

  • @TheRedlotusblossom
    @TheRedlotusblossom 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I know how you feel. I was finally able to start my HRT in February and I thought I'd be really really happy about it and I am but I'm also drinking more and listening to a whole lot of black metal not that that has anything to do with it but it's some pretty dark stuff and I generally just kind of hate myself right now for no other reason than I don't want to exist anymore because I don't want to be trans anymore. I know it's just a temporary feeling and it will pass because I am happy with my medication I am happy about what I'm doing and I am generally happy about my life but sometimes you just hate yourself or hate being trans or just hate being alive even if you're grateful for all of it.

  • @liltrix3006
    @liltrix3006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, going through a hard time and your videos help me so much

  • @moma-b
    @moma-b ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I know this video is from 2 years ago but I think the message is still relevant. 😉
    5:43 Women also have masculine features, not everyone is a cover-girl. Everyone is constantly aging, your body is not frozen in time. Learn to let it go, Mathilda. Accept yourself for who you are. Your body is just a container. You have a loving partner, you have better life than most of the people of the world. You wanted children, family.
    Use your "power" to do something great, something to improve humanity. Stop caring about how you look. Everyone's body is changing day-by-day. Write a book, or more. Do art. Paint. Make a movie. 😉
    You are Mathilda Hogberg. No matter what do you do with your look, you are the same person.
    I keep my hopes up for you. 🤞

  • @maynardewm
    @maynardewm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you mathilda! I think this is a really important conversation, and is something very common amongst trans women. When I see you in your videos, I think "How could this woman ever think that she looks masculine?" But I know how it is, because I experience the same thing. I look in the mirror and most days can only see a man, but everyone around me tells me otherwise. And I just can't see what they see.
    I know it's difficult to talk about, but I think it would be really helpful to hear you go into more detail about what features you feel dysphoric about? It would help other trans women get more perspective, and help us feel less alone knowing someone else feels the same way about those features, and that you look amazing, so what we see must be different than what others see!

  • @zabdielcortes7642
    @zabdielcortes7642 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you for sharing this, as a tans girl myself, you have helped me so muchhh. We love uuu ❤️

  • @janealace
    @janealace 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you for explaining this. I am a cis gender woman who wants to understand what you and other trans women are feeling.
    So I can be more understanding.

  • @clairemurray6815
    @clairemurray6815 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    No one would think you were trans so pretty.

  • @themikaylashow1987
    @themikaylashow1987 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I totally get what you're saying. I'm now into month 33 waiting for ONE appointment at my gender clinic. Being trans in the UK is so hard due to the long waiting times,guys being asshats and family trying to take over your transition

  • @keith.anthony.infinity.h
    @keith.anthony.infinity.h 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You are beautiful stay strong in this world it can be tough and brutal but light is always around if you look for it.

  • @oliviagraceeason8850
    @oliviagraceeason8850 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    As transwomen it's hard to look in Mirrors some days but I don't look for masculine features I always look and see the beautiful person I am inside. Honestly I find strength in Wonderful loving ppl like you Matilda 💯 You are an inspiration to us all..💗

  • @albiondi4078
    @albiondi4078 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    you are beautiful just be happy . happiness comes from the inside. live your life, love and be happy

  • @knocknocking
    @knocknocking 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You're lovely as you are, always! I find it personally helpful to be careful of the thoughts that come to me that invoke a story. The stories, more often than not, have a way of leading me further away from my truths than closer.

  • @LeonIsAPro
    @LeonIsAPro 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You’re gonna get through it, bad times are always temporary

    • @LeonIsAPro
      @LeonIsAPro 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Tristan Wintle so is ignorance in your case apparently.

    • @LeonIsAPro
      @LeonIsAPro 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Tristan Wintle clearly not LOL but if lying to yourself means you can still be transphobic by pretending it’s science, who cares about you and your insecurities?
      There are six karyotypes in humans. Bet you didn’t know that. And you wouldn’t be able to differentiate bones from a trans person who only went through one puberty from a cis person’s bones of roughly the same build and age. You don’t know shit about biology, you use what you think is science to excuse your bigotry and hatred.

  • @rosalindgeorgiefenn477
    @rosalindgeorgiefenn477 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Oh Matilda, how I relate :), wish I could give you a massive hug! My grandmother (classic old fashioned english lady) has an embroidered sampler on her wall that reads "Walk with your face to the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind." That message is so true! There are fun and amazing days to come, we march on! X

  • @steveriggs9435
    @steveriggs9435 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Your one of the most Beautiful person I have ever seen. There isn't any part of you that I can or have seen that say any different. You are one of a kind. Never let anyone tell you different!!!!

  • @dmon5229
    @dmon5229 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Just getting over 2 major strokes in Oct it’s not the same but when I look in the mirror I don’t see the man I was I see a weaker version of me . I lost the use of my left arm ,memory loss and have a brain clot in the right side of my brain that controls my emotions I cry a lot and get frustrated
    I’ve been following you for awhile you are a beautiful person and have taught about transgender people and the community. Hang in there we all have issues I’m trying my hardest and it is not easy. My wife has been amazing in helping me lean on Christian ,talk bless you take care

    •  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sending you so much love ❤️❤️

  • @oliviawutam
    @oliviawutam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    First lesson: Do not speak of hate, it's not our way. most trans are gentle souls in spite of pain which is part of transitioning have a nice day ❤️❤️

  • @CicoinTokyo777
    @CicoinTokyo777 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I swear you are beautiful and if you didn’t tell us you were a trans I would never noticed . I support you

  • @switchbladeromance1466
    @switchbladeromance1466 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Ahhhh you are soo cute..being trans is on my mind all the time...at the moment my dysphoria is really bad..needing to go back on hrt again..it helps me soo much..hugz n cuddles. Xx

    • @josan9483
      @josan9483 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Love u

    • @switchbladeromance1466
      @switchbladeromance1466 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@josan9483 thanx sweetie..all good 1 year on.x

    • @josan9483
      @josan9483 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@switchbladeromance1466 Yesh, I am secretly a trans female but it causes me so much stress. I don’t know if I will transition or not

  • @aliveyetundead
    @aliveyetundead 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’m actually happy you recorded again this vid because the other got too emocional, because I’m almost crying with this one. Thanks for existing Mathilda. Your channel helps me a lot. :,)

  • @aletheiaandtrevor9398
    @aletheiaandtrevor9398 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You are amazing and thank you so much for sharing! ~Aletheia

  • @wholeliving7380
    @wholeliving7380 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    OMG THANK YOU SO MICH!!!! Thank you for always being real. You are beautiful and funny. You are loved. Blessings girl

  • @robertwebb868
    @robertwebb868 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    You are beautiful hon you're one of a kind don't put yourself down

  • @lilianwhite3449
    @lilianwhite3449 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Matilda, In my harbor opininon, all of us have different sides of our personalities. And instead of hating my own masculine personality, I accepted that. I just cant get rid off this, this is part of me, so i learned how to love it. And it doesnt make me less of a woman. You are a such adorable and awesome human. You inspired me so much and helped me to quit my deppresion. Just be your self, you r stunning. Love u