What wisdom have you learned in later life that you wish you could go back and tell your younger self? If you want to watch our videos and communicate with like-minded people you can now download our app: itunes.apple.com/gb/app/the-school-of-life/id1182058270?mt=8itunes.apple.com/gb/app/the-school-of-life/id1182058270?mt=8
I was wondering where it was you guys or guy find all these philosophers from and where I can access the such aweing knowledge of the ancestors before me? also if their are any other channels similar to yours I could follow. I really hope I can get a reply because I seek knowledge to become a more complete whole
Thanks you so much for this. I am a teenager and this is very comforting. Could you make a video about the anxiety surrounding the need of belonging to a group? I would love that. Also, what are the consecuences of being a single child or having siblings? I believe that would be very interesting. Thanks a lot.
Knowing that is not gonna change your life since today, probably the most of people who see this and feel identified are under the effect Forer, being this a type of vague video when someone tells You that everything is gonna be okay. Just because someone said something that casually seems like the aspects of your life it won't make it better or something. You r just agreeing to it because you think is your life
Hi guys. My name is Jessca, creator of ElevatedU podcast. My goal is to set people free from all that is holding them back to live such fulfilled lives. I'll be incredibly honored if you check out my latest episode on why are we unhappy and ways to shift our focus so that we are able to adapt through the rejections and losses we experience and power through life and come out as champions. Please feel free to listen on my pod and share with anyone you think might need it. (Link below) If you're feeling down right now, I hope you get to listen on this very special episode that will transform the way you view the losses you're experiencing in your life right now. open.spotify.com/episode/4QIEwbnxihwS02S2poG25j?si=X8K2S4WXQMGE_CCsG3QL2g ElevatedU is available on Apple Podcast Spotify Google Podcast
"The really worrying teenagers aren't those who misbehave around their parents and take out their random misery on them, it's those who are so worried about not being loved, they cant afford to put a foot wrong" - I didnt came here to be attacked
me before watching this: depressed and angsty 18 year old me after watching this: depressed and angsty 18 year old but it´s chill bc it´s just my character development pulling tho
"...between 13 and 20..." *Is 19* Almost free boys Since people have been asking how I'm doing now: Well I turned 21 and then 10 days later the entire country shut down from covid. But I did learn to accept myself, and learn to listen and appreciate those people who listen to me. Still waiting on that certain someone tho lol. There is still much growth to be had
I will say that the world has gotten so big that what people could do when they were 18 before, can't be done as easily now. This without even considering the economical changes throughout the years, the 20's are used to develop more learning into an expanded world. Or so I think.
I don't know if it's weird because after being outgoing and friendly in my early twenties, I'm starting to become distant and unhappy again in my mid twenties. Lol. Help.
this is strangely comforting. I spent my whole youth sad, miserable and I always regretted it. I used to always set boundaries on myself and prevent myself from growing as a teenager. But now, as an 18 year old I feel like that experience is meaningful and important, because if it wasn't for my staggering sadness I wouldn't be who I am today.
My father divorced when I was 12, my mother had a brain tumor yet she worked two jobs just to feed us. I never asked my mother for a pocket money, and while other kids dreamed about becoming a singer, rock star or basketball player I dreamed about finishing school as fast as possible and getting a job. While my peers were partying, I studied, while my peers were getting into relationships I worked as a movie translator. No matter how much I tried, I always felt below the rich/happy kids whose parents could afford them after school classes, summer vacations and huge parties. And even the teachers rarely gave me the credit or confidence for my future. So growing up I was unhappy teenager, looking for a way out of my miserable life, worrying about my sick mother and trying to learn as much as possible ( with no help and support ). I never had the privilege to live a happy/enjoyable teenage years. At the time I still struggle through life, but now I managed to built my own company and small businesses, my mother can enjoy vacations and I make the money I never dreamed I could earn as a teenager. Thanks for the School of Life for making such a nice video, not everyone has the luxury to have a stable/happy childhood and adolescence years.
Remember where you started? Now you have your own company, you can afford to send your mother on vacations and not worry about the things you had to worry about before. Your childhood was rough, but it made you the successful person you are today. Remembering where you started from is the only time you should ever look back. Dwelling on how unfair life was is bad for your mental health, so just keep looking at the future and what you can do with it. You were able to find success on your own and you should be proud of that, give yourself some more credit because that’s what you deserve.
miki gol Human being is sad by nature, ee are constantly seeking for happiness for a reason, we can all be unhappy and we wouldn't need to do anything, but being happy is harder... if we weren't sad by nature we wouldn't be able to be happy
miki gol as everything in this life happiness is something that takes effort and you need to build it, and is easier to destroy than create. If you think about it you can make someone terribly unhappy in just a second, but it is harder to make that person happy.
3:11 "The really worrying teenagers aren't those who misbehave around their parents and take out their random misery on them. It's those who are so worried about not being loved, they can't put a foot wrong." Yeah, just as I thought. But I kinda knew I was fucked, so thanks for confirming that...
I'm in 10th grade now. I feel like I don't really connect with anyone in my school or friend group. When I get lonely or depressed I don't really tell anybody; I just keep it to myself. I only feel happy at home when I'm away from everybody at school.
I’m also in tenth grade, and I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel. I have bad anxiety and most of my friends turned on me last year and told me to kill my self, than said it was a “joke”. It’s really hard to talk about, but if you can tell your parents how you feel or get counseling with a therapist you will feel so much better. Just talking to someone about hardship, and seeing that they understand, and care about you, can be so helpful. When I feel upset or lonely, I try to think of the good things that happened during my day. Even on the worst days I can usually think of something someone did for me that was nice, even holding the door for me. It’s helpful to know someone doesn’t hate you. If you keep your emotions inside of you they will never go away, and they will eat away at your happiness. By talking to someone, anyone, you can get those emotions out and feel so much better. Hope you have a better time in school! P.S. sorry for the long response, this just reminded me of how I used to feel all the time last year and I know a comment like this might have helped me a little
The problem with this sentiment is that sometimes these potentially useful years of suffering can develop into prolonged periods of depression that never leave a person.
Well this video is spot on. The lonliness, the seeing flaws in my parents, the realization that friends aren't easy, and a good spouse who connects well is rare. The self-loathing, the crying myself to sleep on nights where I felt cripplingly alone. This is incredible.
Thank you for this. I always complain about the "lost teen years" but life actually happens right now and the future unfolds just in front of us. We should stop living in the past and just live life now. Amazing video as always
My parents always say that this is the time of my life and I'm wasting it (I'm 19) . And I'm just sitting here like what about the future? it not my fault I have depression and anxiety.
trollie polie olie psh... They are right and you'll regret that your whole life. Just fucking listen!!!! I feel like I lost all of my 20s with a girl I'm about to divorce! Stop being stupid and emotional and live your fucking life! I want u to LIVE! Everyday of your god dang being! Da fuck you sad about? If you're really sad think about death, but deeply think about death! The thought of black emptyness of not existing should scare the crap out of you. Think about it.
Oh my god, me too Nagato is one of the bases of my entire growth. I started thinking about everything after seeing his story at 14, he was basically my awakening.
When I was ten, I tried to commit suicide for the first time. My mother abused me in many different ways, and my dad looked the other way. I wanted to so badly leave this world. But deep down, I knew there was more to this life. More to see, feel, people to meet, people to love, experiences I wanted. To discover something, to be a mom, to fall in love. There were so many things waiting for me in the future, and there are so so many things waiting for YOU. And I promise, you may not see it now, but you will. There IS hope. You WILL find your way I promise. Please message me if you ever need anything.
The School of Life loved your comment, however, your comment seems to be contradictory to the video. A very unhappy childhood can cause depression and negative effects that last for your whole life and suicide. I need to stress that being close to suicide is a bad thing to have in childhood. Being close to suicide doesn't make you have more love for life, rather it makes you decide whether the bad parts of life outweigh the love of life.
+Machina They aren't talking about a "bad" childhood, but merely the misery which nearly all childhoods cause. Yes, truly damaged households and family situations and trauma is indeed traumatic as life continues. But the point of the video is that it is expected and okay to be miserable in your adolescent years, regardless of circumstances (the video even alluded towards "truly" loving parents who never give up on their children, which assumes a rather "good" childhood in some sense of the word). You are not the only one suffering, and others who have suffered found ways to improve later on; that is the point of the video.
Machina It doesnt always get better, but it allows you to learn, adapt and eventually survive. I'm not saying it is necessary to have a traumatic childhood but an entirely blissful childhood does not exactly make it easier for the child to survive the hardship and responsibility that comes with adulthood. What i believe is a hope that you'll get over any bad situation in time is the best thing any person can have!
"Suffering with a purpose". That's great- I love the idea that the miserable moments of our adolescence is what motivates us to do great things with our life and make change in the world as adults. Thanks for the video! At times I find it difficult, but being young gives me so much optimism.
A long time ago in Canada, a boy was bullied in school. The bullies stole his clothes and money. That boy's name was Georges Saint-Pierre. Also known as the greatest UFC Welterweight Champion of all time.
Re: Machina "Except this isn’t exactly true. The miserable parts of adolescence can cripple people when they become adults." Machina, what you said has merit, but this video also has merit. -Cho Seung-Hui was the result of adolescent bullying. -Georges St.-Pierre was also the result of adolescent bullying.
Thanks for admitting it. Life can be scary, horrible and terrible. And then things suddenly get better. Not because bad things stop happening, but in spite of the travesty of man. The most important person to impress is yourself.
hi here. what does being scared means? is it okay to be scared? is it not okay to be scared? would you be despised on if you're scared? what happens next? should you even do anything about it? if yes why? if no, why? i would suggest to enquire as much as you can... also, have you heard of Meditation? love, from mankind
Same here. I was naive to the point where I got taken advantage of. Trying to get out of a marriage to a very narcissistic person who has made it his life's purpose to make my life harder. The warning signs were there but I could not see them.
Krista Miller I'm sorry such horrible things have happened to you, and I hope your life has gotten better since then. However, it's not ||Anders|| fault they were born into their life. Growing up in an over-protected bubble where you never need want anything does indeed make you naiive, it can set you up for devastating failure later in life. You shouldn't compare your life to anybody's or vice versa.
Don't worry. A brain chip functional equivalent of pain and suffering will help so you can detect when you're in danger without the raw feelings of pain and suffering. nootropicsandglitches.wordpress.com/2017/08/23/the-infinity-dragon-superhappiness/
Wow!!! This is so true! I am now 56 years old and my teenage years were absolutely MISERABLE in so many ways! The best years of my life were my 20’s onward, and every decade gets better! Over the years I have seen others around me struggling and making bad life decisions where I’ve become stronger and more resilient! It must be hereditary because despite my best efforts I’ve seen my kids struggle through their teen years, but blossom now that they’re in their 20’s. Thanks for this video; I shall now value and those tormented years of my life!
Wish I had seen this video at that age. Keep searching, there's a lot to learn which can make your life better. I truly lost my unhappiness at age 21 after reading 'the power of now'. The book kinda sounds like hippy bullshit at first but it profoundly changed my outlook at life.
I'm 17 and reading im reading the power of now, it does sound like hippie bullshit when i tell my friends about it, but it has been helping me so much :)
I’ve never been able to connect with anyone and I wonder if I ever will. I can’t talk to anyone about everything. none of my peers seem to care about anything important very much. I just feel very alone. this video really hit home for me, but I doubt that I’ll ever be able to truly connect with anyone. I’ve already lost what few friends I had because I can’t relate to them or vice versa and we fall out of touch. I suppose they all think I’m boring. sometimes I care a lot about this and sometimes I can’t find it in myself to care at all. I have no desire to try and meet new people because I know that the relationships I form with them will be shallow and meaningless. It seems like no one else cares this much about everything or tries to understand it.
hello hi i feel exactly like that but a few years ago i had somebody who i really felt i connect with but she left me and since that i feel so lonely i hope someday it will get better
I get that.I’m almost finished with my senior year of high school and I realized I just can’t connect with people and create friendships.I had two friends who I considered very close before and part of high school.I had gone to a different high school and we kept in touch and I still found time to spend with them.As time went by we talked less and less and then they started to have a much larger life outside of our friendship and we just stopped talking sometime during junior year. That time apart made me start realize how I wasnt able to establish connection with people. I was bummed but figured it was time i tried to make new friends if i couldnt hold in to old ones. I had the hardest time just finding the energy talking to people. It wasn’t that I was terrified of speaking to people or shutting myself out in the corner of class. I just wouldnt have any desire to act upon the casual conversations I’d have with people in class or at parties.That’s not to say I didn’t find some people interesting or I think everyone in my little sphere of existence is a “boring” person, I just didn’t have a desire to ask them to chill later or for their snapchat.Around the time I started to realize this antisocial “quirk” was the time I dated someone . I had known her name but never talked to her. I had just had classes and hung out a few times with her friends. She pursued me.I thought she was cute but flirting w/ her didnt really cross my mind. She asked me to a sadie hawkins dance( high school dances are NOT my thing btw) in front of her friends. Not wanting to seem like the antisocial grouch I felt like people saw me as and that i felt i was becoming, I said yes. I figured “whatever, I guess itll be a solid excuse to be out late and meet some new people”. There was like 2 weeks before the dance so, I should ask her to see a movie before so the dance is less awkward. Of course, it was still a bit awkward but it was a good time.Then sadies comes along. Her friends had bailed on sadies for a party that was being thrown by people she had no connections with and I didn’t have a group of friends who we could go with (I told my friends didnt fuck with highschool parties either!to cover up the fact i didnt know many people) So it was just us and we had a blast surprisingly.It was weird.After sadies we went back to her place afterwards.After that we started talking regularly. Fast forward a month and were a couple. It was during this time that I noticed I spent most of freetime with her. I didnt have anything else to do. I didnt have other people to spend time with.She did have other friends tho. It got to a point where I was embarrassed to ask her to do things and sometimes if she asked if i was free I would say I was spending time with my friend from the highschool across town that day and was busyh(same friend mentioned in the first paragraph) I was starting to be get exhausted. We still found time and I started talking to her friends and getting to know them more and more. I was able to feel the urge to greet them whenever I saw them or ask how they were and talk for a bit.Things were like this for a while until she went away for a month in the summer. She had signed up and payed for an exchange program to Italy. Admittedly I was bummed she was going away and she wasnt to stoked on it anymore either. She didnt want to leave her friends (or me) during the summer of junior year for an entire month.When she left was when I realized my inability to connect with people. I missed her for a week. Then I didnt care. Im not saying that I felt compelled to cheat or that I thought i was “in love” with her before she left. I just didnt care. I would message her on whatsapp and ask her how her day was and what she was doing and tell her i missed her and to be safe. It was just a front. I decided i had to break up with her to stop wasting her more of her time. When she got back I went to her house said hi and went through the trip photos with her and her family. I kept the conversations with her light and casual. Like I would with one of her friend or someone in my classes. 3 days later I ask her out for coffee in the morning and explain I don’t think we’re working out. I explained essentially that I can’t give her the emotional affection she needs and that im a waste of her time. She was pissed. It kinda what I thought. She picked her stuff up and left.Later she sent me a bunch of angry messages about me being a piece of shit etc etc. I just took it. Id be pissed too if I wasted that much time into someone. Over a few more days it blows over and we talk about it some more and she says she understands and appreciates the fact “even if i was too pussy to break things off before [her] trip, that [I] at least did it soon after” and we end on kinds friendly terms. We don’t talk anymore but it’s not because we hate each other. I just don’t feel compelled to. And Those friends who I used to ask “what’s up?” Or say hi to? I A ghosted them too. Didnt feel like i needed to.Yet at the same time in my senior year i feel so alone and have some desire for friends. So OP, the point of my wall of text is to explain that I know how u feel. I have trouble making those connections that just seem so damn natural for other people. That I’m lonely and afraid of my social apathy as well. I get how someone can feel this weird, contradictory, feeling of indifference and anxiety over their social life.I worry about how I’ll end up too. Sometimes i feel like nothing matter and other times I’m up late thinking about how I can convince people I’m not a bitter asshole.Maybe you cant relate to any of rambling, maybe u can connect with parts of it. Maybe u think I’m just shallow p.o.s.....What im tryna say is you aren’t alone. I get it.
Midos thanks for that. I read it all the way through (btw thanks for taking the time to write all of that) and it really hit home for me. people in my classes will often talk to me, and I can make small talk, but I never care enough to let it go farther than that. I’ve recently fallen out of touch with a longtime childhood friend because I put too much pressure on the other person and ended up realizing they didn’t care as much about our friendship as I did. so I stopped trying. I feel kind of bad about it because I did it without an explanation, and it makes me feel like an asshole, but I was really mad about it at the time. now I just feel sort of empty. anyway sorry for that dumb but of personal shit. again I really appreciate your reply. It’s strangely comforting that I’m not alone in my loneliness, I guess.
Man I understand you so much. But the good thing is... life does get better. I spent most of my teens (and even part of my 20's) being all mad at high school mates or just friends in general... because it always looked like i was the one trying. I was always the one who seemed to worry about not being akward and left out alone. I never understood how them between themselves could have connections and relate to things... anyway. I gotta confess that the very momment I said "screw them" I started to feel better... lets say Loneliness was a rather calm place in comparision to a group of people where i always how to worry how i look, what I say, how I say it and when I say it. Loneliness strikes back again at times, and turns out I even need to socialize for my survival because I moved countries and I need to find a job (im almost 23 now). I met wonderful people over the internet that had helped me cope with this a lot, and even this many years later speaking with my past teen-friends... some of them now seem to have matured a lot too. and We can have normal conversations. Well yeah this isn't at all like a happy ending, I haven't fixed it all in my life yet even thought im a bit old (23)... but is still a rather message of hope I wanted to give. like, life does get better, and it probably won't turn perfect from a week to another, but you slowly get to build the places you feel comforrable in, your friendships... intellect, even. everything. And it's not like everything will get fixed by the time you are X age, i think is different for everyone.
How does one stop feeling pitiful for themselves? I always hate myself because i have autism and im not a normal kid since ive been in and out of the hospital all of my childhood from problems i couldnt control that have to do with my stomach. I feel imperfect and like a mistake
@@marquezharris619 Everyone is imperfect, everyone has problems, some greater than others, most people just keep it well hidden. Don't just feel sorry for yourself and constantly think about how you have it worse than everyone, instead, remember that life is tough and that all you can do is move forwards and strive to become better. All you can do is aim to improve the things that you can and don't waste energy on the things you can't control. Work hard and keep a positive mindset by reminding yourself about the positive things about yourself rather than dwelling on the negative. If you can't come up with anything positive, then think about the type of person you would like to be, then become that. Also remember that growing up is difficult for everyone. How you feel now and how you are as a person will change constantly over the years.
Red to add to that would be, don’t be Dissatisfied with your improvements no matter how small they may be change takes time there’s no quick fix, do things you’d never think of doing even if it makes you uncomfortable, like i isolate myself from others, now I’m going out of my way to talk to my friends, I feel a bit better then I have more motivation to do the things I really enjoy but never could because I was afraid, you get really happy with the progress you’re making, it’s like a drug but there’s no side effects.
I personally from my own experience and friends think those who suffer more than others have more words of wisdom to share and a bit of a kinder heart because they don't want others to feel the same pain they've experienced and are more self aware.
@@maurobrunno6032 because since capitalism on paper sounds pretty bad and things like comunism or anarchism sounds pretty good they decide to choose those, even if it has been empiricaly proved múltiple times they don't work
I really needed this right now. I'm 18, and I haven't had the best teen years. Always spent it in self hatred and anxiety. Never found peace within myself. I'm trying to improve though. Thank you TH-cam for suggesting this, and thanks to school of life for making this. I love you guys.
hi, here to remind you that it's okay to have a not so great childhood/adolescence and it's also okay to have a pretty decent one (or at least to judge it as good or bad, whatever). you shouldn't feel like it had to have been a certain way, we all come from different backgrounds. it's not about competition, it's about where you're personally at/going. be kind to each other, we all have the good and bad stories ily guys
What happens if you’ve been depressed since before you were ten, with high anxiety issues and no friends for basically your entire life? I’m 20 right now and will be 21 in 70 days...
Hi! I'm in a similar boat to you! I've also had depression from about 10 years old. I'm a bit younger than you though and fortunately have been able to make friends who I've connected with (which has helped in not feeling alone). If you're able to do this, I'd seriously recommend going to DBT therapy and honestly giving it your best. It's basically a bunch of coping mechanisms and ways to trick your brain into not being such a dick. I identified that a lot of the coping mechanisms that they were teaching me, I was already using, but it solidified them and made them more accessible in my mind. Of course I still have depression, but now at least I know that there are direct actions I can take to minimize my suffering. Those actions do take a lot of willpower and motivation to do though, just a heads up. Life is going to be harder for you because of depression, but there will be times when it doesn't feel as bad or hopeless, and I really hope you stick around to live through those moments, because they're pretty cool.
samsoncat asshole. you don’t know what saying shit like that does to people with depression it’s a real condition, I don’t have it, but people i know do. Don’t be fucking ignorant lmao
I already commented this on another comment but I think it could help Hey if anyone is still struggling with this I wanna share how I’ve come to peace with this. My whole life I’ve felt misunderstood, alone, disconnected. So this led me into learning about psychology, and spirituality very young. This made my anxiety and depression worsen. Now after years of self love and trying to meditate the traumas away lol I realize I was looking at it the wrong way. I used to look at my life as a spiritual journey, a journey of healing, and self love, now I look at my life as a journey of self mastery, in careers, relationships, and life! U are different, and see things differently, so express that, ur not here to be understood, ur here to create a life. Now how I was able to do that: First if I learned about my personality and how “it” fit into society. I literally googled personality test and took a quiz, but I also studied all the personalities and esp the most common. That in itself opened my eyes and made me understand n value others n my misunderstood self. Secondly I focused on my socialization/interaction with other people. The sad truth is humans are extremely social creatures even if ur really introverted 😂. We need attention, connection and touch. And if u don’t meet those needs well u will but in an indirect way🤔... but that’s a diff topic. I then realize that I needed to work on this, and get better with socializing. I then treated this like a MUSCLE. If I didn’t talk to anyone all day or if I daydreamed a lot, the harder it was and the more overwhelming it was. This might be silly but separated minor interactions like ex ordering food, and major interactions ex a presentation. And In doing this, it opened me up to getting out of my head. Anyway I am now able to let’s say direct and lead interactions, display the parts of me that I value (deeper parts) and this brought out that in other ppl as well. No it’s not perfect, some days I still feel misunderstood, weird, sad but these things no longer control me, bc they make me who I am. ❤️ ~Also if u guys need to talk to sm hmu my insta is zorbra_y
I am happy my childhood wasn’t the best, honestly. I feel like it prepared me for the world. My father was an abusive alcoholic that had a mean streak but he was also insanely funny, which taught me a complexity of loving and hating someone at the same time. It also made my humor a little darker than normal, in a strange way. He also taught me that even the ones closest to you, can do the most harm and that respect and trust shouldn’t be given automatically, it must be earned. My mother staying with him taught me to value my own feelings above any abusive relationship (romantic/platonic). Even though I was suicidal at 9 years old and then became homeless in junior year of high school (after my father kicked his family out in the middle of winter...) I am now a thriving adult that is for the most part... well adjusted... because I already know that life isn’t easy and sometimes rock bottom is only a stage where you can build a more solid foundation for life.
bRUH THIS IS A BIG ASS MOOD?? Just wanna let you know, you are def not alone, I learned the same messages. Only difference is my mom was also an alcoholic, and tried to commit suicide twice, so I'm also 90% sure I have abandonment issues. But I'm working on it! Anyway, keep rocking life.
I wish it was that simple. Most teens won't grasp that concept too much. I knew a classmate who threw her whole life away after getting pregnant in my Freshman Year. Teen Love doesn't always end with happy endings.
"Misery doesn't give happiness meaning, happiness is meaning itself, if you tortured people to better appreciate the pleasures of life you would be a monster." - A really wise man
"Adolescents are natural philosophers" This reminded me of the time when my Hindi language teacher said in front of the class about me that "this boy is a philosopher". Obviously, I took pride in it - being called out by my Hindi language teacher in front of all classmates and referred as something of a really unknown but seemingly powerful word, "philosopher". I didn't know the meaning so I just gave her a smile, being happy that MAYBE she has complimented me and never asked her about it. I am in my natural philosophical state now. I think about everything and question everything existing in this world as a norm, standard, tradition, customs, and basically a "life manual" to follow. That's why I have found immense love in this channel and going to start one of mine talking about movies and their hidden messages because - 1. I'm from a filmmaking background and 2. Films are true reflection of any society. I think I have let go of my strong urges which were there in adolescence but were also never fulfilled. That's why sometimes I am having nightmares of my past memories, especially high school ones, and currently coping with certain issues driven by the emotions never being fulfilled in my adolescence. The standards (or stereotypes) were never a reflection of my personality, hence I always have found difficult to have genuine friendships, relationships, connections and then my single-father was struggling as well to raise me and my sister, so there's a parental neglect as well. Not intentional but definitely situational. I wish only if I had questioned all of things I'm coming across to question right now in my 20s, in my adolescence. I guess my inferior complexity never allowed me to question things rather just be silent and accept. I couldn't change things then or myself but it is what it is now. I can't turn back time to change myself but I can definitely work on myself by constantly changing/evolving time.
i am currently 14 and i'm afraid that one day, i'll look back and regret all of the time i've wasted because i'm not enjoying my teenage years right now which is very limited. i don't have friends or anyone. can anyone please please give me tips on how can i enjoy it? thank you so much!
I understand that feeling. I'm around your age and have struggled with that for quite a while now. While I'm not so sure how to fully remedy this feeling (and, to be honest, I don't think there is any way to fully get rid of it, even in the adult years), something that has helped me is remembering that, if I continue to think too much about the future, I won't live in the present. Not enjoying our teenage years because we are too worried about the future is what we will end up regreting in adulthood. If you don't know what you can do to enjoy the present, I would recommend spending time with those who you love, because it will, hopefully (not always, but hopefully), help you feel loved, and you won't have to fear the regret of not being with them, and motivate yourself to improve each day by setting goals that sound beneficial and enjoyable to you, so that way you will feel achieved now, and have a higher work ethic later. I hope this made some sense and can help you through out your teenage years! Always remember that you're stronger than you think, and that it's okay to let yourself cry and relax, and to feel as though life has beaten you to the ground, as long as you get back up! You're amazing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
i'm 20 and after i graduated highschool i felt like i'm too old for everything i was waiting to do for when i finally i have time for myself. I have many hobbies, but i never had a chance to develop any skills and make something my passion, because i was busy with trying to make everyone pleased and proud of me and my grades. It's always easier to learn the younger you are, it gives you some perspectives on future job and helps you survive difficult times. So i suggest you finding something you love doing and make it your passion as fast as possible.
Make plans with friends to go out! You probably can't right now because of covid, but after it's over! Something I always regret is not hanging out with friends out of school :// due to that I always felt like I missed out of beautiful memories.
@follow petitelordexx That's what you alway think though, I used to think I had no friends but when i look back I realized that I did have someone or a few. Sometimes you don't have their phone number, or socials, or eat lunch together but there is someone who you consider a friend or the other way around, it's hard to see it when you think you are alone :")
A little while ago when I was 18 I had so much self hate, questions, lack of friends, lack of feeling accepted by my family that the thought of pulling a trigger on my brain gave me pleasure. Now I'm 22 and I've found meaning in life. I understood the rought times were important and without them I'd be a very bad person...
Humor is a common defense mechanism, I was bullied a lot as a kid and it often felt like the only way to deal with it was to make everything in to joke.
Two years ago I was 18, I remember watching this video. I still struggle a little with depression, but I have gotten so much better at managing it. I am so much more emotionally intelligent. I have come SUCH a long way. And this was only two years ago! I am so grateful for this video, it gave me a teeny bit of hope during a really difficult time. mind you, by 18 I had already been depressed for some years. Now I’m about to turn 21, and although I’m still really young I can say this video is right. I agree and I am thankful.
Well, sometimes this sadness can lead to depression and suicide and if the person doesn't die, they'll probably be scarred for the rest of their life. In some cases, teenagers hate their parents because they're abusive in some way. I guess some kind of sadness is normal in adolescence but it's normal in adulthood as well. If a teenager is sad we can't just pretend that it's because of their age and it's normal to act this way, this kind of attitude can cause serious consequences.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE KIDS IN THE BACK seriously tho. I have told my parents that I want profesional help for my own problems and they don't seem to care at all just because I'm seventeen 😪 it's really awful to have depression but it's worse when you ask for help and people simply don't care.
Andrea C. M. Maybe you can see a councilor at your school. Most school/districts also have a psychologist the councilor can refer you to as well. Best thing is school councilors don't have to tell your parents you were even there, as long as you aren't a danger to yourself or others. (If you are that doesn't mean hide it tho) and it's free. Of course this is at least for most schools in america...uh if you're outside there maybe try looking online like 7cupsoftea or something like that? Best wishes, hope you get better soon :)
Andrea C. M. Do you have anyone else in your family that you can trust? Like an aunt, uncle or grandparent? Maybe if you tell them what you feel and that you need help, they could convince your parents in some way.
+Hobostarr180 thank you for the advice ^^ unfortunetaly I'm not from the U.S. so I can't seek help like that :( but I still really appreciate that you cared enough to answer
+Watching The Bees I will try, it's kind of hard to explain feelings like these (It was already hard with my parents) but I guess I don't have another choice. The thing is that I am from South America, and there's a lot of stigma around this subject and mental health in general. My grandma would just tell me to go to church and find God, which it's ok, but not really helpful for me. Thank you so much for your advice ☺️
Being a victim of 2 years of domestic violence and ending up with ptsd has made me feel like I lost my adolescence. But now I realize that if these are my worst times it can only get better
Legendary Music of All Times 2.0 I tried to leave an edgy comment straight away but then I read the rest of the comments and shit man they made mine look like a Normie comment so I had to shame delete it. Everyones a goddamn edge lord.
I see what you mean but I was never told how to go back to a happier life once adolescent is over. Also my childhood was saddening too and that's the main reason for why I am this way. Also during my adolescence I was told that I couldn't be this way and was wrong for it. Pushing it all deep down I and never contributing it too something productive. I never really grew out of it.
Kevin Carvalho, My adolescentes isn't over yet either. It's going to be my birthday in four days and I feel like it means things are going to just get worst and worst. It's possible things will turn out for the better once I'm 25, but can I hold up that long? Maybe I'm worng for not being able to handle it.
But what should you do when this feeling simply doesn't fade as you reach adulthood? And what if the feelings prevent you from growing and bar you from opportunities that other much more happy adolescents would've taken? When do you draw the line between depression and general woes faced by the youth in society?
If the feeling is still there, then you still have some growing up left to do. If there are certain feelings preventing this, then solve them. Everybody is more or less depressed.
James Buckley being depressed doesn't mean you nedd more growing up i belive some of the great intellectual minds are depressed ... depression is relative but in the same time uça universal feeling ... we cant comprehend it so we cant comprehend why we still unhappy after our adescence WE CANT COMPREHEND LIFE REALLY
Imed Eddine Amaïdia Not falling into despair after coming to terms with the harsh realities of existence demands a certain level of maturity. There is a reason why your teenage years are so tough. It's because you are still immature and are just starting to realize how nasty the world, people, and you yourself really are.
One thing I realized recently, literally only a few days ago, is that I've spent these last years of my life being so angry and negative for no reason. Sometimes a person could anger me and even when they'd apologise I'd stay angry. I realise now that by staying angry, you're only hurting yourself
I just wanted to say thank you for this video. I was up crying last night because I've been so stressed about graduating high school in fear of ending up alone and not knowing what I want to do with my life, and this year it'll be the first time that I spend Christmas without my beloved pets (they had to be put down). It's comforting to think that the despair I'm feeling may help me grow as an individual, to understand that nothing lasts forever and that life goes on.
Hey, you know something? People rarely know what they actually want to do with their lifes when they graduate high school, I'm 21 and started three different college graduations (I'm loving the one I'm doing now), and I thought I wanted to do the other ones, but I discovered that I didn't. I also only started making actual friends this year, and they really opened my mind about people, like you can just go and try to make a friendship with some random person, because I think overall people want more social interations. The despair sure helps us grow as individuals, I wonder how nice would be my life without my suffering, but I'm also afraid I wouldn't be as good to the people I care about and myself if I didn't suffer. I just saw you comment and for some reason I wanted to say: have a good Christmas! Things will be fine with time.
That Guy With the Crazy Hand aaa I apologise for taking so long to respond, when I read this yesterday I was speechless. Thank you so much for your words, I really needed them. It's comforting to know that even though the people I know now might move on after high school, there will always be a chance to remember the memories we shared, and that I'll be able to make new friends with other people. It certainly makes the idea of going into the real world a little less scary. And from losing my pets, I learned the value in appreciating the things you have in your life and not to take them for granted, so I would say that though it's been difficult, from it I'm growing as a person. I'm very glad you get to do something that you enjoy, that is also encouraging. I also agree that it is the hardships we experience that can make us better people, even though sometimes we wish those times never happened. Thank you again, you made my day and perspective of growing up a whole lot brighter. I too wish you a Merry Christmas! ^^
Well, I believe your friends will always remain your friends, no matter the distance or time as long as you are both willing to. My father is moving to a faraway place after this Christmas and it's bothering me a bit, but teaching me how to deal with some stuff. I'm happy my words could brighten your day! One of my goals in life is master the skill to say stuff that makes people feel better (and for now I believe the truth and sharing past stories are the better way to do this, even if sometimes it can be sad or dark).
You nailed it. I am 50 now. The teen years were brutal, indeed I decided what kind of person I wanted to be and how I wanted to live, even what kind of husband I should avoid. My experiences also helped me decided how to parent my future children (clarification as a teen I vowed I would never have kids but that changed later, thanks to the biology of female hormones). My bad experiences in public school and ramifications for college and a career helped inform how to educate my own children and how to guide them toward careers that would make them feel fulfilled. Also I taught my kids from the preschool ages about bullying and how to be a good friend and nice person to others based on the rotten experiences I endured at school and on the schoolbus.
You're lucky being bullied by kids is a piece of cake compared to the sadistic abusr of an evil strange adult on an 11 year old at prep school. Day in day out for 2 years. After that my teenage years were a breeze.
I also vowed i won't have kids cuz I'm afraid of that I'd hurt them in any ways like my parents did. But idk maybe that'll change since now I'm only 17
Oh man, thanks a lot for this video. It's like a revelation to me, and probably to many other teenagers. Why does the explanation to teenagers feeling crappy always have to be "oh, your minds aren't fully developed", or "oh, you'll understand when you're older." How am I supposed to keep believing that? I thought something was wrong with me, but thanks to this video, at least I can feel sh*t with a valid explanation in the back of my mind, which eliminates at least one worry: that my life is spiraling downwards, forever.
FlorenciaVM1 School of Life takes the opinion that every person is extremely flawed, weird and absurd in unique ways. I think that's why they always make their characters look so ugly and bizarre
I’m 20 rn, I just went through almost everything u explained. The self hate and big questions what kept me up at night when I was 17-19 but I think I found the my purpose/meaning of my life. I don’t hate myself anymore, I hate the situation I’m in and I’m trying to get out of it.
Thank you for this. You'll never see this but still. It genuinely made me feel like everything is going to be okay. Im 16 and almost 17 and I used to struggle with even being okay with myself. I'm still working on how to love myself and find some one that will love me in return and the doubt of failure of that has always induced apathy to me. Thank you for telling me that I am going to be ok.
I started to experience it at 27 (Now I am 28 and still trying to digest the reality of life). I think we all realice the difficulty of life at different times.
I'm 19 and too unhappy all the time. Happiness is rare; when i smile i can really feel it and cherish it because I have realised that I no longer smile that much.
I had a Horrible Childhood / Teenage/ Twenties. I've actually watched Documentaries on Serial Killers and the thing that their Parents did to them is like a checklist of the stuff my parents (Mother specifically) did to me. Hence my adulthood kicks ass. I feel sorry for people who make statements like "Being a adult isn't nearly as awesome as I thought it would be as a kid" ...I just can't understand that. I imagine that people who say that must have had great childhoods...oddly I think I'm better off. You get a lot more Adulthood to deal with than Childhood
Supes Me Yeah, I don't miss being a teenager one iota. It sucked - mental health problems, lack of respect, and self-destructive circadian rhythms were nasty. Glad to be an adult.
Yeah. My childhood was horrible, but I grew up knowing that life and people wasn't/ weren't going to be easy or always nice. I wish ppl had to take a test before becoming parents.
coming up on the end of adolescence, and i feel like this is a very important video. i speak from personal experience saying this, but i have truly noticed a stark difference between people my age who have experienced pain and suffering on a larger scale compared to those who have not. this isn’t to say that the lucky ones who had a happier adolescence are less developed or any “less” you can think of, there are just differences. both are equally valuable, both have consequences, and i appreciate this video’s recognition of that.
Hm, nah. I hear this all the time about multiple things, "You cannot be able to appreciate experiencing _x_ without experiencing the opposite first", essentially. And I'm starting to suspect that this phrase is just a lie humanity tells itself to justify living in the crappy world it created.
It's not about appreciation, it is about the realization that change is possible. To reach the heights you dream of you either have to aim to the sky or you have to endure pain so awful you can no longer tolerate. So you study it, find the tools to correct it, find your way out of the situation only to realize that you have the ability to DOMINATE because NOW you know better about the root of the problem than 99% of the population. Suddenly you are the 1%. But it's not enough, you want to help others climb to the top and FUCKING CRUSH IT DUDE. DONT SIT THERE COMPLAINING ABOUT A YT VIDEO AND SEEK TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY THEN GIVE BACK TENFOLD. JUST DO IT.
I kind of agree but kind of disagree. Of course you don't _have to_ experience the opposite to have appreciation, but I feel like it definitely helps you to feel more connected and grateful for the current moment. For example, knowing starving is painful isn't the same as having felt starvation before and _understanding_ that it's painful.
@@naritruwireve1381 yep thats exactly right, the only difference between the two situations is that one of them can only be appreciated intellectualy but the other one can be felt on a deeper more emotional level.
@@antibioticslogic3198 With respect, that just sounds like a massive platitude. I yearn for the tools to fix it, to prove those who abused, neglected and bullied me from very early childhood to now that I proved them wrong, that I am someone too, that I also have dreams, thoughts, feelings and ideas. I need the tools, but especially with Asperger's, saying things like "find the tools to correct it" is like saying: How to tie a shoelace. Step 1: Tie the shoelace. Depending on circumstances. Childhood trauma (flashbacks, intense sensations of humiliation, repressed memories nearly resurfacing, Internal anger, intimacy issues, shutdown) Depression Fragmented thoughts Intense self doubt concerning abilities, memories, sanity, thoughts, feelings and understanding of the work world, timetables, buses, money, homes, finding homes, social skills overall confidence A condition similar to mood swings, concerning the doubts Frequent Mindblanks Brain fog Paranoia Experience of Depersonalisation Mild delusions/Odd goals and fears that wouldn't seem rational Depression Crippling fear of failure (to an irrational degree) to the point of not taking steps Intense disappointment and sadness of not taking steps (but no sense of regret as I believe I cannot overcome it) Feeling that every thought, feeling and memory I have is perceived by everyone to be wrong or repulsive and subhuman. Escapism into a world where I live my dream (there isn't a sports car, no penthouse, no marriage, children, sex life, or sex at all, no significant other as I don't yearn for what most others do) Fear of being around others to the point of craving to be completely alone, conflicting with as I currently notice, a repressed feeling of the yearning of a simple dream, to be around people I like, just the simplicity of intimacy (which I think I blocked out long ago when believing no one would ever like me, fall in love with me, see me as a human being, with has led to very Misanthropic thoughts) Sadness when I realise I am not actually there and that I am in a place I hate. Annoyance at not finding a way of being deeper in that world. Experiencing auditory hallucinations when angry Seeing things in the corner of my eye that aren't actually there Fear of not speaking to others So I'm trying to be realistic and genuine when I ask Can it really be fixed in that situation? Telling someone they can fix it, doesn't do anything when they are in that state.
I would love to see a video on the importance (or unimportance) of counselling for the average person. I recently began counselling because I felt like I wasn't getting the most out of my emotions and experiences, and it's granted me some insight. It's shown me that an unhappy adolescence can grant both an arsenal of good attributes and a number of problematic mental and emotional afflictions.
I loved this. I'm only 26 but these are the things I came to realize myself by now. It's all that mess in my head that made me who I am today. I'm not a different person as an adult but I'm starting to find answers for my teen self. If I didn't have questions as a teenager I wouldn't have what to answer now. Also being allowed to make mistakes is what I thank my parents most for.
I had an interestingly depressing teenage life. Me being closeted was what really messed everything up for me. Its an isolating life- especially if you're already the type of kid that is horrible at making friends. At a younger age friends come out of the blue but as one gets older they pick and chose, and judge those that are different. So when guys my age have girlfriends, I went made myself as unattractive as i could just so that my parents could understand as to why people would not want to my friend or potetion boyfriend material. I put on extra weight deliberately to make me unwanted. I became a great at hiding secrets ans keeping them too. I was so manipulative because i had no choice. I dislike mostly everything because everything that i saw from day to day seemed like a lie. "If i can show up here and lie about what i am and what I'm feeling what's stopping everyone else?." I didn't realize at the time that I was envious of "normal" people. I decided that the very moment that i could be independent i would come out because i didnt want to lie anymore; but when it happen all of its build of anger, strength, and yearning from independence died with my former self. So now as an adult I have a lot of internalized, emotional issues that i dont think have been resolve, and sometimes i feel as though it is too late to even want to resolve them. So many horrible memories that I've learned not to linger on them, but forget them? Never. I did have a couple of good times after coming out and bad times as well, dont picture me the victim as im tired of being one, however I cant emphasized enough that having someone that you could confide in and love you 100% as a teenager is invaluable.
Demonic Boy oh boy what a story. So glad that you made it through those years. I hope life’s treating you much better today. You deserve so much love and respect buddy 🧡🌺
Parnian thanks for reading and accepting my story. Surprisingly im doing okay for myself, and come to realize I have good people in my life. Its still hard for me to open up to them but we're still closer them we've been. Thanks for reading.
Not sure if you're right or wrong sir, but these are words many of us liked hearing. And it definitely makes me feel better for all the loathing, hatred and suffering through my own adolescence and helped me come to peace with its effect way into my late 20s now. Thank you.
I was the teenager that was so worried about being loved that I rarely spoke up about how I felt. I didn’t feel like I started living for myself till I spoke up against my parent a few years after 20.
I understood this when I was that age. Now it seems like I don't understand anything. At 16 I was neurotic, at the age of psychosis (dissociative) more than once and terrified of everyone. Still I was somehow happier. Today I am a very respected manager (in a shit company but anyway), I am flirty, funny and always have a big heart around people. But when I am alone, the loneliness strikes me 900 times harder then when I was 16. The darkness I smaller but harscher. I still have no dreams, just like I had no dreams back then. I'm 24 now.
I think this guy is getting the word "unhappy" mixed up with "challenging". Having an "unhappy" adolescence (example: getting raped, constantly abused by parents, etc.) can cause depression into adulthood (not to say that is guaranteed or that there's no hope for them), however having a facing certain challenges throughout your teenage part of your life (examples: supporting your family, friendship/relationship drama, school issues), even just the little things, can build you to become a stronger person as you carry on into adulthood. There's a huge difference between the two I think. The best part about this is that you can challenge yourself as much as you want, and thus let those challenges and struggles build your character.
me mo I agree. What is explained in the video doesnt quite match the title. Because "unhappy" leads me to think of abuse and mental illnesses, which isnt a just a "teenager" thing. The importnace teenage angst explained in the video is important, but unhappiness to the point of mental illness is not good.
Sinnamon Tongue unhappiness and mental illness are not the same things. You seem to be confusing all mental illness with depression. Mental illnesses are usually unhappy, but unhappiness does not cause "mental illness". Unhappiness can cause depression, which is a mental disorder, but depression cannot cause "mental illness".
@@minecraftminertime no yeah I know. I just meant I think the word choice that was used in the video was poor. It sounded like they meant a much worse kind of unhappiness then they intended to.
Some things are 'challenging' to some but not to others and don't actually do you any good. That's why the "unhappy" part is important, if you don't experience it long enough throughout your teens (unlike 'childhood' remember, where the opposite is the case) you're pretty much screwed. Very subjective, but how it's framed as 'challenging' has a lot to do with how good your attitude is
5:16 Okay I agree with a lot about this video but. A partner. Isn't. Something. *necessary* . Living alone and being happy this way shouldn't be a problem, it shouldn't be an almost taboo, people never talk about this way of living, they never consider their life without a partner, and most importantly they never consider it *fine* So yeah, I'm saying that and you'll answer "maybe we'll find you in a few years with your cherished partner" (funny that we never say otherwise except to insult someone) and yeah, maybe, but still, don't start thinking you're the "most pitiful loser in the world" because you couldn't find someone to live with or to love in a romantic way. Being alonr is great and you can be sure you'll be yourself in these moment. Romantic love isn't the only fulfilling kind of love So, I get that you didn't voluntarily say that to say "people without partner just didn't fulfill their life" and people might start arguing that he never exactly said that the "special someone" would be someone to love romantically and that's fine, you can argue, we're here for that, It just annoys me that wherever I go, the possibility of living alone happily is never mentioned
Samen't. He's talking about love, and one of their expressions is through romance and partnership. So if you think you can stay single or stuff, and yet be happy it's perfectly fine! But love finds you at the end of the day, if it's not through a friend, a family member, an animal or a lover it's through you: loving yourself.
Exactly, im asexual, and I never been atracted to someone in my life, and Im good, and more happy than all of the people in a relationships that I see.
Overcoming the unique challenges that a relationship poses is very important for self development in my opinion. I was alone for quite a while and I was very happy with it. But exchanges with yourself, family or friends can only inspire so much character development, and can easily become stagnant. The bond and growth that you can experience from a relationship is not easily substituted. I agree that no one should be shamed for their choice to be alone or inability to find a partner, but in return, the unique value of romantic connections to people has to be recognized.
Im 15 know, i call myself the hapiest kid in the world, which i believe with all my strength. I have suffered, mostly when 13, but when i hit 14, i was a changed guy. I thank everyday for the bad i was "cursed" with, nothing has ever taught me so much. What i tend to talk to my fellows friends who are in the position I was in 1,5 year ago is find why, and then find the why again. Suffering is not there to hurt you, it is there to teach you, find out what it is trying to teach and learn with every moment of pain, agony, sadness and lonellyness
Wow I really needed this thank u 🥺 I’ve suffered with OCD, depression and anxiety since the beginning of adolescence but only recently decided to do something about it for fear of trying to seem ‘edgy’ or ‘attention seeking’. I really feel like I’ve wasted my teenage years!! I’m now on Sertraline and feel a little better but it’s this video that has really given me hope and changed my view lol💗
everyone wants to be understood and when they finally get to be understood everyone treats them differently it’s not fun to have everyone think they know exactly who you are you just want some people in your life who do know you and understand you but also respect you want a balance between people who think you’re special to and people who just treat you normal
A video has never come at a better time. This is what I’ve been searching for. Needing. Never have I felt my heart touched and held and understood so fully and innerly. Suddenly. I feel ok.
After you get through the early teenage years and are able to move out and attend college (or do whatever else you choose to as an adult) things really are so much better than you could ever imagine. I know I used to be miserable constantly only a year ago but now I'm in college, have amazing friends and a lovely girlfriend, and am so happy to be alive. Just try and push through until you can get to a better place too! Best wishes!
completely agree. all throughout high school the misery i felt was so boundless that i thought it was some transcendent feature of my own existence and i couldn't exist apart from it, now I'm in university, I've moved out and have met amazing new friends and learn about things that i love learning about and i could have never imagined the happiness that i experience now on a day to day basis
thank you for this video. i turned 18 last week, and things have been really, really hard for me lately. I dropped out of art school, i feel purposeless, and i haven't managed to make any friends besides online ones, which never end up lasting anyway. sometimes i feel like I'm never going to find happiness at all, and it's going to be like this for the rest of my life. but videos like this remind me that it isn't pointless. I am not going to remain unhappy and isolated forever. Rather, the self hatred I feel is paving a path towards self love. The isolation means that I just haven't met my real friends yet, and they will come if I wait long enough. I am suffering well, and I am growing with every passing hour in small, minuscule ways that build to a much bigger picture.Thank you, really. You just made my day.
knowing this I've learnt to control my mind and I have found that hapiness is literally right where I am, no one but myself can supply happiness because happiness is not a collective imagination but singular, within your mind.
Exactly dude! I've been severely suicidal and prescribed SSRIs by my doctor. Dealt with a lot of shit. I don't say that to come across as thinking I'm unique for it, I know tons of others have gone through just as bad and even worse things. I'm just saying for me personally it's been "too much" on occasions. But what has saved me time and time again, as much as I appreciate my friends and loved ones trying to help me, it's been me saving myself. No matter how much you have in this world, it won't save you when it really counts unless you can convince yourself you're worth being saved. Learning to "control my mind" and talk myself out of negative thought patterns has been life changing. I still struggle deeply on a regular basis, but it no longer feels hopeless. It's a battle I swear I will win. And I wish the same for you too my friends
Tfw the reason you can't tell your parents you hate them not because you're scared of not being loved, because you aren't, but because they will kick you out and leave you on the street without any money because they took it all from you for "safe keeping"
Alastol The Great tfw you won't tell your parents that you hate them because you don't hate them. I'm mean, why would I, as long as they feed me I'm gucci. Guess I'm either too grateful, too poor or both.
Its not necessarily that you hate them is to speak your mind The people the narrator talked about were people that couldn't make a fucking mistake so people would stop liking them people would see the facade If you can't scream at your parents if you can't not once tell them that you find them annoying you hate them etc because they ill throw you out, as a teen, you should really be calling someone because you're in the hands of some really bad/messed people
Very true I had a miserable 19-23 and I am so thankful for my suffering, it has taught me so much more about life and mainly removing my teenage ego and selfishness, and showed me empathy for others and how to relate to others emotionally. I am now quite successful and and ppl have told me I am mature, but it was all due to that time in my life. There is always sunshine after rain
Liliann31 same here. I became depressed out of nowhere one day at age 17, and it lasted till 22. That period of my life made me the mature empathic person I am now.
yeah same here. sure itš gonna be great when someone loves me in ten years, and all thanks to that shitty time i'm having now. like, wow, i really appreciate that
I was infinitely more unhappy than my peers because of extraordinary circumstances and now in adulthood I'm the ultimate failure. Whatever doesn't kill you cripples you for life.
That's not true... whatever hasn't killed you has influenced you in more than one ways. And the crippling part maybe be true but that doesn't mean it hasn't made you stronger and taught you more about yourself. There is always more than one perspective.
@Parnian For someone so beautiful you have a really kind heart. @Sagarika Uday You're right, it can make you view life in ways you hadn't previously thought possible. You learn to appreciate and care for things that others view as trivial, but negative affects also take hold. Normality is what holds society together. Being stripped of that normality makes you vulnerable to having to live life as a penniless windowshopper.
GodlyAtheist i agree with you. I'm in the same boat. Everyone likes to say that family will always be there for you, but that's not true, they are the first to turn on you, first to cut your Achilles heel, first to throw you in the street without a second thought, first to break every part of who you are.
What wisdom have you learned in later life that you wish you could go back and tell your younger self? If you want to watch our videos and communicate with like-minded people you can now download our app: itunes.apple.com/gb/app/the-school-of-life/id1182058270?mt=8itunes.apple.com/gb/app/the-school-of-life/id1182058270?mt=8
The School of Life It's okay to disappoint your parents. No one is perfect. They will still love you...and will embrace you once again.
The School of Life do you have an app for Android as well?
I was wondering where it was you guys or guy find all these philosophers from and where I can access the such aweing knowledge of the ancestors before me? also if their are any other channels similar to yours I could follow. I really hope I can get a reply because I seek knowledge to become a more complete whole
I know desire tends to blind one but I wish to know
Thanks you so much for this. I am a teenager and this is very comforting.
Could you make a video about the anxiety surrounding the need of belonging to a group? I would love that. Also, what are the consecuences of being a single child or having siblings? I believe that would be very interesting. Thanks a lot.
This video is literally just telling adolescents everything is going to be ok, and i appreciate it a lot
And crushing the excitement that 12 year olds hold towards growing up
Oof
@@odbodd123 someones gotta tell em
And that they're not crazy 😊
Knowing that is not gonna change your life since today, probably the most of people who see this and feel identified are under the effect Forer, being this a type of vague video when someone tells You that everything is gonna be okay. Just because someone said something that casually seems like the aspects of your life it won't make it better or something. You r just agreeing to it because you think is your life
3:30
Child: *_I HATE YOU_*
Parent: Here, have some more soup, you're not you when you're hungry
Sabba7h lol, actually though
Should have offered him Snickers
@@OP-xi1hv *TASTE MY BALLS*(Jacksepticeye reference btw)
🤣🤣🤣
Hi guys. My name is Jessca, creator of ElevatedU podcast. My goal is to set people free from all that is holding them back to live such fulfilled lives. I'll be incredibly honored if you check out my latest episode on why are we unhappy and ways to shift our focus so that we are able to adapt through the rejections and losses we experience and power through life and come out as champions. Please feel free to listen on my pod and share with anyone you think might need it. (Link below)
If you're feeling down right now, I hope you get to listen on this very special episode that will transform the way you view the losses you're experiencing in your life right now.
open.spotify.com/episode/4QIEwbnxihwS02S2poG25j?si=X8K2S4WXQMGE_CCsG3QL2g
ElevatedU is available on Apple Podcast Spotify Google Podcast
"The really worrying teenagers aren't those who misbehave around their parents and take out their random misery on them, it's those who are so worried about not being loved, they cant afford to put a foot wrong"
- I didnt came here to be attacked
:')
Same, my parents always fight and so I'm afraid of losing the fight and never winning.
yeah.. I can't even slam the door or I'll lose bed privileges, I can't imagine the consequences if I told them they weren't perfect :(
lol same
Same I can't say anything to them because then the aftermath is worse coming from them which leads to self loathing
me before watching this: depressed and angsty 18 year old
me after watching this: depressed and angsty 18 year old but it´s chill bc it´s just my character development pulling tho
Nice 👍👍
YES
this is how it feels
@trashbang hope you stay strong!
fr tho. ☹✊
"Tenderness will mean nothing to us unless we've spent many nights alone, crying ourselves to sleep"
No one commented so you'd have no reason to check but you got a fuck ton of likes
@@heatherhenninger1280 wow I'm just noticing now lmao
@@heatherhenninger1280 there are other comments like that too
That sounds like it could be a lyric from a Simths song
Tenderness generally means gynaecomastia
"...between 13 and 20..."
*Is 19*
Almost free boys
Since people have been asking how I'm doing now: Well I turned 21 and then 10 days later the entire country shut down from covid. But I did learn to accept myself, and learn to listen and appreciate those people who listen to me. Still waiting on that certain someone tho lol. There is still much growth to be had
How are you now?
Mission Passed + Respect
21 and still sad
@@Lemonnitenite I think they are free now
Turkey McDuckin Age is just a number, and 20 is not a magic number, so don’t worry, if it’s just teenage angst you’ll come to your own soon.
Still waiting for the video titled "The importance of an unhappy mid 20's" guys please hurry up I'm starting to get nervous
Same. I feel like I’ve experienced more unhappiness in my 20s than in my teens
2 Years Left For Me 😂
I will say that the world has gotten so big that what people could do when they were 18 before, can't be done as easily now. This without even considering the economical changes throughout the years, the 20's are used to develop more learning into an expanded world. Or so I think.
i was a very happy teen honestly i had many friends and did many cool stuff but now i’m in my 20s and i’m miserable so yeah i feel you
I don't know if it's weird because after being outgoing and friendly in my early twenties, I'm starting to become distant and unhappy again in my mid twenties. Lol. Help.
this is strangely comforting. I spent my whole youth sad, miserable and I always regretted it. I used to always set boundaries on myself and prevent myself from growing as a teenager. But now, as an 18 year old I feel like that experience is meaningful and important, because if it wasn't for my staggering sadness I wouldn't be who I am today.
Same.
My father divorced when I was 12, my mother had a brain tumor yet she worked two jobs just to feed us. I never asked my mother for a pocket money, and while other kids dreamed about becoming a singer, rock star or basketball player I dreamed about finishing school as fast as possible and getting a job. While my peers were partying, I studied, while my peers were getting into relationships I worked as a movie translator.
No matter how much I tried, I always felt below the rich/happy kids whose parents could afford them after school classes, summer vacations and huge parties. And even the teachers rarely gave me the credit or confidence for my future. So growing up I was unhappy teenager, looking for a way out of my miserable life, worrying about my sick mother and trying to learn as much as possible ( with no help and support ).
I never had the privilege to live a happy/enjoyable teenage years. At the time I still struggle through life, but now I managed to built my own company and small businesses, my mother can enjoy vacations and I make the money I never dreamed I could earn as a teenager. Thanks for the School of Life for making such a nice video, not everyone has the luxury to have a stable/happy childhood and adolescence years.
Remember where you started? Now you have your own company, you can afford to send your mother on vacations and not worry about the things you had to worry about before. Your childhood was rough, but it made you the successful person you are today. Remembering where you started from is the only time you should ever look back. Dwelling on how unfair life was is bad for your mental health, so just keep looking at the future and what you can do with it. You were able to find success on your own and you should be proud of that, give yourself some more credit because that’s what you deserve.
Damn it, I feel your struggle. I don’t know your face, but I’m sure you are probably a tank! Respect man
Bless you. You deserve every bit of happiness and success in life.
Thank you Sm for sharing this! I needed to read this today
All the best to you bro 🙏🏾
The worst thing you can tell an unhappy person is that they should be happy. Thank you for letting us just be us.
Rebecca Nguyen what is the alternative?
miki gol Lol you sound very inexperienced and ignorant to abuse and mental ilnesses.
miki gol Human being is sad by nature, ee are constantly seeking for happiness for a reason, we can all be unhappy and we wouldn't need to do anything, but being happy is harder... if we weren't sad by nature we wouldn't be able to be happy
miki gol as everything in this life happiness is something that takes effort and you need to build it, and is easier to destroy than create. If you think about it you can make someone terribly unhappy in just a second, but it is harder to make that person happy.
miki gol Every person has problems, and has every right to be or not unhappy.
Thank you School of Life,
for being the parents I never had.
- an 18 year old.
wow
God bless you kiddo.U know u r strong
On the fucking dot
YTS 7 parents are overrated. Dont worry you didnt miss out on much
@Aphrodisiac Tresspasser
Sounds like _your_ parents either had a good reason to leave you, or just didn't care enough to raise you right. Lmao
3:11 "The really worrying teenagers aren't those who misbehave around their parents and take out their random misery on them. It's those who are so worried about not being loved, they can't put a foot wrong."
Yeah, just as I thought. But I kinda knew I was fucked, so thanks for confirming that...
Us
@@urjaasimukherji1734 Sorry, what?
@@shawarmageddonit by saying "us" they mean the are in the same situation
Btw , us 🙂
I'm in 10th grade now. I feel like I don't really connect with anyone in my school or friend group. When I get lonely or depressed I don't really tell anybody; I just keep it to myself. I only feel happy at home when I'm away from everybody at school.
I’m also in tenth grade, and I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel. I have bad anxiety and most of my friends turned on me last year and told me to kill my self, than said it was a “joke”. It’s really hard to talk about, but if you can tell your parents how you feel or get counseling with a therapist you will feel so much better. Just talking to someone about hardship, and seeing that they understand, and care about you, can be so helpful. When I feel upset or lonely, I try to think of the good things that happened during my day. Even on the worst days I can usually think of something someone did for me that was nice, even holding the door for me. It’s helpful to know someone doesn’t hate you. If you keep your emotions inside of you they will never go away, and they will eat away at your happiness. By talking to someone, anyone, you can get those emotions out and feel so much better. Hope you have a better time in school!
P.S. sorry for the long response, this just reminded me of how I used to feel all the time last year and I know a comment like this might have helped me a little
@@calebm.5698 thanks boi you're a legend
if you feel happy at home, you are so fucking lucky
...same ): hopefully, things get better for all of us.
Learning that you don't need others to still have a life is an important lesson.
The problem with this sentiment is that sometimes these potentially useful years of suffering can develop into prolonged periods of depression that never leave a person.
Yup this is what happened to me. Then I studied Peterson and picked up my suffering and changed myself.
dochmbi Who is Peterson? Would recommend?
Tokioka Jordan Peterson, extremely brilliant
True
Undeniable point.
The most pure comment section on youtube
I feel refreshed. I don't recall seeing a comment section like this ever. It makes me regain hope in humanity.
It hits a nerve in all of us, is why, for better or worse.
@@mechacode8527 then you should go check the comment section of Bob Ross' videos. That's the purest.
that's because it's heavily censored.
Eh not really I’ve seen a lot of people making fun of depressed and struggling teenagers. But overall true c,:
Well this video is spot on. The lonliness, the seeing flaws in my parents, the realization that friends aren't easy, and a good spouse who connects well is rare. The self-loathing, the crying myself to sleep on nights where I felt cripplingly alone. This is incredible.
It's a great video, weirdly comforting
I feel like I shouldn’t be laughing but I am
I felt this sentence.
Joke's on you, you cheered me up.
42ndSubject LOL 😂😂😂
who's joke?
Donker I already am.
XD this convo!
You cheered me up...thanks
Well I hope having an unhappy adult life is good too.
It's been a year, you doing alright?
But seriously, i hope you are all having a good day, a good life and i wish you the best. It all shall pass
Fuckin a .
@cm. CG But was he happy though?
Adulthood is waaaay worse being a teenager. How people don't kill themselves every day baffles.
Thank you for this. I always complain about the "lost teen years" but life actually happens right now and the future unfolds just in front of us. We should stop living in the past and just live life now. Amazing video as always
palemoonlight96 exactly!
palemoonlight96 hehe look to the future, not back. Life is amazing.
8
palemoonlight96 thank god I realized this at 20 and not on my deathbed. If I keep on focusing on what I missed, I'll keep on missing
My parents always say that this is the time of my life and I'm wasting it (I'm 19) . And I'm just sitting here like what about the future? it not my fault I have depression and anxiety.
trollie polie olie psh... They are right and you'll regret that your whole life. Just fucking listen!!!! I feel like I lost all of my 20s with a girl I'm about to divorce! Stop being stupid and emotional and live your fucking life! I want u to LIVE! Everyday of your god dang being! Da fuck you sad about? If you're really sad think about death, but deeply think about death! The thought of black emptyness of not existing should scare the crap out of you. Think about it.
''Whose who don't know true pain will never understand true peace'' -Nagato Uzumaki
I grew up with this, and I am proud of this...
Oh my god, me too
Nagato is one of the bases of my entire growth. I started thinking about everything after seeing his story at 14, he was basically my awakening.
Dattebayo
*I cutted on that edge*
Same
I always hate that damn quote. But I know what you mean in this context
the animation is giving me more anxiety than my adolescence
Gon kun
@@klover7890 yess
I absolutely love the animation 😂
God I know right wtf is going on
Me too I feel like I’m in that moment of my life now at 53.
When I was ten, I tried to commit suicide for the first time. My mother abused me in many different ways, and my dad looked the other way. I wanted to so badly leave this world. But deep down, I knew there was more to this life. More to see, feel, people to meet, people to love, experiences I wanted. To discover something, to be a mom, to fall in love. There were so many things waiting for me in the future, and there are so so many things waiting for YOU. And I promise, you may not see it now, but you will. There IS hope. You WILL find your way I promise. Please message me if you ever need anything.
Ellhnida?
I love you - think about how powerful those few words are...
Melodia I need help, I’m just 17 going in and out of depression. Can we contact eachother?
The School of Life loved your comment, however, your comment seems to be contradictory to the video. A very unhappy childhood can cause depression and negative effects that last for your whole life and suicide. I need to stress that being close to suicide is a bad thing to have in childhood. Being close to suicide doesn't make you have more love for life, rather it makes you decide whether the bad parts of life outweigh the love of life.
Don't promise things you can't be sure of
This is easily one of the most hopeful videos I have ever watched. I'm not a teen anymore but it is true and it does get better.
Krish Govardhan It's true... I'd say this is their best video yet
360 likes!
+Machina So true. This needed to be said.
+Machina They aren't talking about a "bad" childhood, but merely the misery which nearly all childhoods cause. Yes, truly damaged households and family situations and trauma is indeed traumatic as life continues. But the point of the video is that it is expected and okay to be miserable in your adolescent years, regardless of circumstances (the video even alluded towards "truly" loving parents who never give up on their children, which assumes a rather "good" childhood in some sense of the word). You are not the only one suffering, and others who have suffered found ways to improve later on; that is the point of the video.
Machina It doesnt always get better, but it allows you to learn, adapt and eventually survive. I'm not saying it is necessary to have a traumatic childhood but an entirely blissful childhood does not exactly make it easier for the child to survive the hardship and responsibility that comes with adulthood. What i believe is a hope that you'll get over any bad situation in time is the best thing any person can have!
I learned that "life is too short to be drowned with insecurities."
"Suffering with a purpose". That's great- I love the idea that the miserable moments of our adolescence is what motivates us to do great things with our life and make change in the world as adults. Thanks for the video! At times I find it difficult, but being young gives me so much optimism.
Indeed. Pick up your cross and bear it. That's what Peterson would say. Man, I love Peterson.
A long time ago in Canada, a boy was bullied in school. The bullies stole his clothes and money. That boy's name was Georges Saint-Pierre. Also known as the greatest UFC Welterweight Champion of all time.
dochmbi um, it's what the Bible says, but I guess congrats from listening to this genuis?
@Machina miserable, or traumatic? Everyone has parts of their adolescence that were miserable. And many people learn something from that.
Re: Machina
"Except this isn’t exactly true. The miserable parts of adolescence can cripple people when they become adults."
Machina, what you said has merit, but this video also has merit.
-Cho Seung-Hui was the result of adolescent bullying.
-Georges St.-Pierre was also the result of adolescent bullying.
Turned 20 today and I'm scared
Thanks for admitting it. Life can be scary, horrible and terrible. And then things suddenly get better. Not because bad things stop happening, but in spite of the travesty of man. The most important person to impress is yourself.
hi here.
what does being scared means? is it okay to be scared? is it not okay to be scared? would you be despised on if you're scared? what happens next? should you even do anything about it? if yes why? if no, why? i would suggest to enquire as much as you can...
also, have you heard of Meditation?
love, from mankind
I'm about to turn 20 and I'm terrified as well.
I turned 20 as well a few months ago and it feels like everything I knew, I don't really know anymore.
Leo Harker I’ll kill myself before I’m 20
My childhood was too easy, which made me naïve. Some lesson I learned a bit too late.
IIAndersII Ahh, how life happens right..
Ah, but you show immense wisdom and humility by admitting that. *Many* never learn.
Same here. I was naive to the point where I got taken advantage of. Trying to get out of a marriage to a very narcissistic person who has made it his life's purpose to make my life harder. The warning signs were there but I could not see them.
Krista Miller
I'm sorry such horrible things have happened to you, and I hope your life has gotten better since then. However, it's not ||Anders|| fault they were born into their life. Growing up in an over-protected bubble where you never need want anything does indeed make you naiive, it can set you up for devastating failure later in life. You shouldn't compare your life to anybody's or vice versa.
Don't worry. A brain chip functional equivalent of pain and suffering will help so you can detect when you're in danger without the raw feelings of pain and suffering.
nootropicsandglitches.wordpress.com/2017/08/23/the-infinity-dragon-superhappiness/
Wow!!! This is so true! I am now 56 years old and my teenage years were absolutely MISERABLE in so many ways! The best years of my life were my 20’s onward, and every decade gets better! Over the years I have seen others around me struggling and making bad life decisions where I’ve become stronger and more resilient! It must be hereditary because despite my best efforts I’ve seen my kids struggle through their teen years, but blossom now that they’re in their 20’s.
Thanks for this video; I shall now value and those tormented years of my life!
I don't know if this makes me feel better or worse
I’m like.Crying
And thats not a problem.
1NS4N3_CY4N1D3 vid is bad advice man
I think all this is the point of the video
Both
Almost 17 and this video taught me some things I will never forget
Hello there. What a beautiful thing to say! Thank you for sharing this feeling. I wish you so well.
Wish I had seen this video at that age. Keep searching, there's a lot to learn which can make your life better. I truly lost my unhappiness at age 21 after reading 'the power of now'. The book kinda sounds like hippy bullshit at first but it profoundly changed my outlook at life.
WaveSayHi I'm 22 and the same applies to me. I admire how someone was able to understand and describe all this
Wish I had School of Life at 17. My life would be completely different.
I'm 17 and reading im reading the power of now, it does sound like hippie bullshit when i tell my friends about it, but it has been helping me so much :)
I’ve never been able to connect with anyone and I wonder if I ever will. I can’t talk to anyone about everything. none of my peers seem to care about anything important very much. I just feel very alone. this video really hit home for me, but I doubt that I’ll ever be able to truly connect with anyone. I’ve already lost what few friends I had because I can’t relate to them or vice versa and we fall out of touch. I suppose they all think I’m boring. sometimes I care a lot about this and sometimes I can’t find it in myself to care at all. I have no desire to try and meet new people because I know that the relationships I form with them will be shallow and meaningless. It seems like no one else cares this much about everything or tries to understand it.
hello hi i feel exactly like that but a few years ago i had somebody who i really felt i connect with but she left me and since that i feel so lonely i hope someday it will get better
I get that.I’m almost finished with my senior year of high school and I realized I just can’t connect with people and create friendships.I had two friends who I considered very close before and part of high school.I had gone to a different high school and we kept in touch and I still found time to spend with them.As time went by we talked less and less and then they started to have a much larger life outside of our friendship and we just stopped talking sometime during junior year. That time apart made me start realize how I wasnt able to establish connection with people. I was bummed but figured it was time i tried to make new friends if i couldnt hold in to old ones. I had the hardest time just finding the energy talking to people. It wasn’t that I was terrified of speaking to people or shutting myself out in the corner of class. I just wouldnt have any desire to act upon the casual conversations I’d have with people in class or at parties.That’s not to say I didn’t find some people interesting or I think everyone in my little sphere of existence is a “boring” person, I just didn’t have a desire to ask them to chill later or for their snapchat.Around the time I started to realize this antisocial “quirk” was the time I dated someone .
I had known her name but never talked to her. I had just had classes and hung out a few times with her friends. She pursued me.I thought she was cute but flirting w/ her didnt really cross my mind. She asked me to a sadie hawkins dance( high school dances are NOT my thing btw) in front of her friends. Not wanting to seem like the antisocial grouch I felt like people saw me as and that i felt i was becoming, I said yes. I figured “whatever, I guess itll be a solid excuse to be out late and meet some new people”. There was like 2 weeks before the dance so, I should ask her to see a movie before so the dance is less awkward. Of course, it was still a bit awkward but it was a good time.Then sadies comes along. Her friends had bailed on sadies for a party that was being thrown by people she had no connections with and I didn’t have a group of friends who we could go with (I told my friends didnt fuck with highschool parties either!to cover up the fact i didnt know many people) So it was just us and we had a blast surprisingly.It was weird.After sadies we went back to her place afterwards.After that we started talking regularly. Fast forward a month and were a couple.
It was during this time that I noticed I spent most of freetime with her. I didnt have anything else to do. I didnt have other people to spend time with.She did have other friends tho. It got to a point where I was embarrassed to ask her to do things and sometimes if she asked if i was free I would say I was spending time with my friend from the highschool across town that day and was busyh(same friend mentioned in the first paragraph) I was starting to be get exhausted. We still found time and I started talking to her friends and getting to know them more and more. I was able to feel the urge to greet them whenever I saw them or ask how they were and talk for a bit.Things were like this for a while until she went away for a month in the summer.
She had signed up and payed for an exchange program to Italy. Admittedly I was bummed she was going away and she wasnt to stoked on it anymore either. She didnt want to leave her friends (or me) during the summer of junior year for an entire month.When she left was when I realized my inability to connect with people. I missed her for a week. Then I didnt care. Im not saying that I felt compelled to cheat or that I thought i was “in love” with her before she left. I just didnt care. I would message her on whatsapp and ask her how her day was and what she was doing and tell her i missed her and to be safe. It was just a front. I decided i had to break up with her to stop wasting her more of her time. When she got back I went to her house said hi and went through the trip photos with her and her family. I kept the conversations with her light and casual. Like I would with one of her friend or someone in my classes. 3 days later I ask her out for coffee in the morning and explain I don’t think we’re working out. I explained essentially that I can’t give her the emotional affection she needs and that im a waste of her time. She was pissed. It kinda what I thought. She picked her stuff up and left.Later she sent me a bunch of angry messages about me being a piece of shit etc etc. I just took it. Id be pissed too if I wasted that much time into someone. Over a few more days it blows over and we talk about it some more and she says she understands and appreciates the fact “even if i was too pussy to break things off before [her] trip, that [I] at least did it soon after” and we end on kinds friendly terms. We don’t talk anymore but it’s not because we hate each other. I just don’t feel compelled to. And Those friends who I used to ask “what’s up?” Or say hi to? I A ghosted them too. Didnt feel like i needed to.Yet at the same time in my senior year i feel so alone and have some desire for friends.
So OP, the point of my wall of text is to explain that I know how u feel. I have trouble making those connections that just seem so damn natural for other people. That I’m lonely and afraid of my social apathy as well. I get how someone can feel this weird, contradictory, feeling of indifference and anxiety over their social life.I worry about how I’ll end up too. Sometimes i feel like nothing matter and other times I’m up late thinking about how I can convince people I’m not a bitter asshole.Maybe you cant relate to any of rambling, maybe u can connect with parts of it. Maybe u think I’m just shallow p.o.s.....What im tryna say is you aren’t alone. I get it.
Midos thanks for that. I read it all the way through (btw thanks for taking the time to write all of that) and it really hit home for me. people in my classes will often talk to me, and I can make small talk, but I never care enough to let it go farther than that. I’ve recently fallen out of touch with a longtime childhood friend because I put too much pressure on the other person and ended up realizing they didn’t care as much about our friendship as I did. so I stopped trying. I feel kind of bad about it because I did it without an explanation, and it makes me feel like an asshole, but I was really mad about it at the time. now I just feel sort of empty. anyway sorry for that dumb but of personal shit. again I really appreciate your reply. It’s strangely comforting that I’m not alone in my loneliness, I guess.
Oh my god.... This is EXACTLY how I feel right now
Man I understand you so much. But the good thing is... life does get better.
I spent most of my teens (and even part of my 20's) being all mad at high school mates or just friends in general... because it always looked like i was the one trying. I was always the one who seemed to worry about not being akward and left out alone. I never understood how them between themselves could have connections and relate to things... anyway. I gotta confess that the very momment I said "screw them" I started to feel better... lets say Loneliness was a rather calm place in comparision to a group of people where i always how to worry how i look, what I say, how I say it and when I say it.
Loneliness strikes back again at times, and turns out I even need to socialize for my survival because I moved countries and I need to find a job (im almost 23 now). I met wonderful people over the internet that had helped me cope with this a lot, and even this many years later speaking with my past teen-friends... some of them now seem to have matured a lot too. and We can have normal conversations.
Well yeah this isn't at all like a happy ending, I haven't fixed it all in my life yet even thought im a bit old (23)... but is still a rather message of hope I wanted to give. like, life does get better, and it probably won't turn perfect from a week to another, but you slowly get to build the places you feel comforrable in, your friendships... intellect, even. everything. And it's not like everything will get fixed by the time you are X age, i think is different for everyone.
The best advice I was given was to stop feeling sorry for myself.
For sure, dwelling in self pity is super unhealthy and just reinforces the idea that you should continue feeling terrible about everything.
How does one stop feeling pitiful for themselves? I always hate myself because i have autism and im not a normal kid since ive been in and out of the hospital all of my childhood from problems i couldnt control that have to do with my stomach. I feel imperfect and like a mistake
@@marquezharris619 Everyone is imperfect, everyone has problems, some greater than others, most people just keep it well hidden. Don't just feel sorry for yourself and constantly think about how you have it worse than everyone, instead, remember that life is tough and that all you can do is move forwards and strive to become better. All you can do is aim to improve the things that you can and don't waste energy on the things you can't control. Work hard and keep a positive mindset by reminding yourself about the positive things about yourself rather than dwelling on the negative. If you can't come up with anything positive, then think about the type of person you would like to be, then become that. Also remember that growing up is difficult for everyone. How you feel now and how you are as a person will change constantly over the years.
Red to add to that would be, don’t be Dissatisfied with your improvements no matter how small they may be change takes time there’s no quick fix, do things you’d never think of doing even if it makes you uncomfortable, like i isolate myself from others, now I’m going out of my way to talk to my friends, I feel a bit better then I have more motivation to do the things I really enjoy but never could because I was afraid, you get really happy with the progress you’re making, it’s like a drug but there’s no side effects.
Red you are a true man my guy, I’ve never been so agreeable with someone online
I lowkey wanna hug the narrator and thank him for this
"The sadnest will last forever"
-Vincent Van Gogh
Moony Foxy well that’s not really cool
Uh thanks
The sadness will pass right after
-me-
*Sandset
sadnest
I’ve mostly learned from the hard times in my life not really from the good times
But they're both as important. Without good moments you can't survive Bad ones. Without bad ones you can't enjoy good ones
The path to greater is to learn from both
eh i only learn from the hard times since i never have "good times"
I personally from my own experience and friends think those who suffer more than others have more words of wisdom to share and a bit of a kinder heart because they don't want others to feel the same pain they've experienced and are more self aware.
solo mofo yep, that’s the point of pain... growth
“What is the point of it all, why do people suffer, why does capitalism suck” Well that was a big jump:
i never understood this thing about teens hating capitalism
Mauro Brunno Ridiculous student debt doesn’t help lmao
@@maurobrunno6032 only rich people don't understand
or adults with amnesia but that's way less likely
@@phillipanselmo8540 pure capitalism is the problem. Having some measures to protect workers and the bottom brings up everyone
@@maurobrunno6032 because since capitalism on paper sounds pretty bad and things like comunism or anarchism sounds pretty good they decide to choose those, even if it has been empiricaly proved múltiple times they don't work
I really needed this right now. I'm 18, and I haven't had the best teen years. Always spent it in self hatred and anxiety. Never found peace within myself. I'm trying to improve though. Thank you TH-cam for suggesting this, and thanks to school of life for making this. I love you guys.
hi, here to remind you that it's okay to have a not so great childhood/adolescence and it's also okay to have a pretty decent one (or at least to judge it as good or bad, whatever). you shouldn't feel like it had to have been a certain way, we all come from different backgrounds. it's not about competition, it's about where you're personally at/going. be kind to each other, we all have the good and bad stories ily guys
What happens if you’ve been depressed since before you were ten, with high anxiety issues and no friends for basically your entire life?
I’m 20 right now and will be 21 in 70 days...
Hi! I'm in a similar boat to you! I've also had depression from about 10 years old. I'm a bit younger than you though and fortunately have been able to make friends who I've connected with (which has helped in not feeling alone).
If you're able to do this, I'd seriously recommend going to DBT therapy and honestly giving it your best. It's basically a bunch of coping mechanisms and ways to trick your brain into not being such a dick. I identified that a lot of the coping mechanisms that they were teaching me, I was already using, but it solidified them and made them more accessible in my mind. Of course I still have depression, but now at least I know that there are direct actions I can take to minimize my suffering. Those actions do take a lot of willpower and motivation to do though, just a heads up. Life is going to be harder for you because of depression, but there will be times when it doesn't feel as bad or hopeless, and I really hope you stick around to live through those moments, because they're pretty cool.
Boo hoo no one fuckin cares
samsoncat asshole. you don’t know what saying shit like that does to people with depression it’s a real condition, I don’t have it, but people i know do. Don’t be fucking ignorant lmao
Oh where you self diagnosed too?
I already commented this on another comment but I think it could help
Hey if anyone is still struggling with this I wanna share how I’ve come to peace with this.
My whole life I’ve felt misunderstood, alone, disconnected. So this led me into learning about psychology, and spirituality very young. This made my anxiety and depression worsen.
Now after years of self love and trying to meditate the traumas away lol I realize I was looking at it the wrong way.
I used to look at my life as a spiritual journey, a journey of healing, and self love,
now I look at my life as a journey of self mastery, in careers, relationships, and life!
U are different, and see things differently, so express that, ur not here to be understood, ur here to create a life.
Now how I was able to do that:
First if I learned about my personality and how “it” fit into society. I literally googled personality test and took a quiz, but I also studied all the personalities and esp the most common. That in itself opened my eyes and made me understand n value others n my misunderstood self.
Secondly I focused on my socialization/interaction with other people. The sad truth is humans are extremely social creatures even if ur really introverted 😂. We need attention, connection and touch. And if u don’t meet those needs well u will but in an indirect way🤔... but that’s a diff topic. I then realize that I needed to work on this, and get better with socializing.
I then treated this like a MUSCLE. If I didn’t talk to anyone all day or if I daydreamed a lot, the harder it was and the more overwhelming it was.
This might be silly but separated minor interactions like ex ordering food, and major interactions ex a presentation. And In doing this, it opened me up to getting out of my head.
Anyway I am now able to let’s say direct and lead interactions, display the parts of me that I value (deeper parts) and this brought out that in other ppl as well. No it’s not perfect, some days I still feel misunderstood, weird, sad but these things no longer control me, bc they make me who I am. ❤️
~Also if u guys need to talk to sm hmu my insta is zorbra_y
I am happy my childhood wasn’t the best, honestly. I feel like it prepared me for the world. My father was an abusive alcoholic that had a mean streak but he was also insanely funny, which taught me a complexity of loving and hating someone at the same time. It also made my humor a little darker than normal, in a strange way. He also taught me that even the ones closest to you, can do the most harm and that respect and trust shouldn’t be given automatically, it must be earned. My mother staying with him taught me to value my own feelings above any abusive relationship (romantic/platonic). Even though I was suicidal at 9 years old and then became homeless in junior year of high school (after my father kicked his family out in the middle of winter...) I am now a thriving adult that is for the most part... well adjusted... because I already know that life isn’t easy and sometimes rock bottom is only a stage where you can build a more solid foundation for life.
Didn’t prepare me for anything just made me fuckin stupid
bRUH
THIS IS A BIG ASS MOOD??
Just wanna let you know, you are def not alone, I learned the same messages. Only difference is my mom was also an alcoholic, and tried to commit suicide twice, so I'm also 90% sure I have abandonment issues. But I'm working on it!
Anyway, keep rocking life.
Lmao. Same same
this is so good to hear as the child of a narcissist.
i hope you are ok now?
Hey guys at those ages, learn more about yourself rather than dating someone. Love ya and choose her or him well.
Needed this comment a year ago now im here stuck with a broken heart..
I wish it was that simple. Most teens won't grasp that concept too much. I knew a classmate who threw her whole life away after getting pregnant in my Freshman Year.
Teen Love doesn't always end with happy endings.
@azfadel Oh, you don't need that kind of relations to have toxic competition. Some people act like friendship is a competition.
wtf no
I’ll be doing that by default lol. Nobody’s gonna wanna date me anytime soon 😂
"Misery doesn't give happiness meaning, happiness is meaning itself, if you tortured people to better appreciate the pleasures of life you would be a monster." - A really wise man
Passing Time You'd be Jigsaw
this is the opposite of what the video says
Passing Time pussy
MCToastTV Truly the most well constructed insult ever. I sir, applaud you
Onii-Chan 3.0 bro that's not an insult
"Adolescents are natural philosophers"
This reminded me of the time when my Hindi language teacher said in front of the class about me that "this boy is a philosopher". Obviously, I took pride in it - being called out by my Hindi language teacher in front of all classmates and referred as something of a really unknown but seemingly powerful word, "philosopher". I didn't know the meaning so I just gave her a smile, being happy that MAYBE she has complimented me and never asked her about it.
I am in my natural philosophical state now. I think about everything and question everything existing in this world as a norm, standard, tradition, customs, and basically a "life manual" to follow. That's why I have found immense love in this channel and going to start one of mine talking about movies and their hidden messages because - 1. I'm from a filmmaking background and 2. Films are true reflection of any society.
I think I have let go of my strong urges which were there in adolescence but were also never fulfilled. That's why sometimes I am having nightmares of my past memories, especially high school ones, and currently coping with certain issues driven by the emotions never being fulfilled in my adolescence. The standards (or stereotypes) were never a reflection of my personality, hence I always have found difficult to have genuine friendships, relationships, connections and then my single-father was struggling as well to raise me and my sister, so there's a parental neglect as well. Not intentional but definitely situational.
I wish only if I had questioned all of things I'm coming across to question right now in my 20s, in my adolescence. I guess my inferior complexity never allowed me to question things rather just be silent and accept. I couldn't change things then or myself but it is what it is now. I can't turn back time to change myself but I can definitely work on myself by constantly changing/evolving time.
i am currently 14 and i'm afraid that one day, i'll look back and regret all of the time i've wasted because i'm not enjoying my teenage years right now which is very limited. i don't have friends or anyone. can anyone please please give me tips on how can i enjoy it? thank you so much!
I understand that feeling. I'm around your age and have struggled with that for quite a while now. While I'm not so sure how to fully remedy this feeling (and, to be honest, I don't think there is any way to fully get rid of it, even in the adult years), something that has helped me is remembering that, if I continue to think too much about the future, I won't live in the present. Not enjoying our teenage years because we are too worried about the future is what we will end up regreting in adulthood.
If you don't know what you can do to enjoy the present, I would recommend spending time with those who you love, because it will, hopefully (not always, but hopefully), help you feel loved, and you won't have to fear the regret of not being with them, and motivate yourself to improve each day by setting goals that sound beneficial and enjoyable to you, so that way you will feel achieved now, and have a higher work ethic later.
I hope this made some sense and can help you through out your teenage years! Always remember that you're stronger than you think, and that it's okay to let yourself cry and relax, and to feel as though life has beaten you to the ground, as long as you get back up!
You're amazing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
i'm 20 and after i graduated highschool i felt like i'm too old for everything i was waiting to do for when i finally i have time for myself. I have many hobbies, but i never had a chance to develop any skills and make something my passion, because i was busy with trying to make everyone pleased and proud of me and my grades. It's always easier to learn the younger you are, it gives you some perspectives on future job and helps you survive difficult times. So i suggest you finding something you love doing and make it your passion as fast as possible.
Same I’m 16 and have no friends, I sit in my room all day wasting my time on games I don’t even enjoy. I’m just a failure lol
Make plans with friends to go out! You probably can't right now because of covid, but after it's over! Something I always regret is not hanging out with friends out of school :// due to that I always felt like I missed out of beautiful memories.
@follow petitelordexx That's what you alway think though, I used to think I had no friends but when i look back I realized that I did have someone or a few. Sometimes you don't have their phone number, or socials, or eat lunch together but there is someone who you consider a friend or the other way around, it's hard to see it when you think you are alone :")
You have an oddly comforting voice
A little while ago when I was 18 I had so much self hate, questions, lack of friends, lack of feeling accepted by my family that the thought of pulling a trigger on my brain gave me pleasure.
Now I'm 22 and I've found meaning in life. I understood the rought times were important and without them I'd be a very bad person...
What is your meaning in life? Just curious :)
The only good thing I got was quick wit and I became funny but also clinical depression
Me
No
Lmao same but change that to anxiety
Love that 😂
Humor is a common defense mechanism, I was bullied a lot as a kid and it often felt like the only way to deal with it was to make everything in to joke.
Two years ago I was 18, I remember watching this video. I still struggle a little with depression, but I have gotten so much better at managing it. I am so much more emotionally intelligent. I have come SUCH a long way. And this was only two years ago! I am so grateful for this video, it gave me a teeny bit of hope during a really difficult time. mind you, by 18 I had already been depressed for some years. Now I’m about to turn 21, and although I’m still really young I can say this video is right. I agree and I am thankful.
Well, sometimes this sadness can lead to depression and suicide and if the person doesn't die, they'll probably be scarred for the rest of their life. In some cases, teenagers hate their parents because they're abusive in some way. I guess some kind of sadness is normal in adolescence but it's normal in adulthood as well. If a teenager is sad we can't just pretend that it's because of their age and it's normal to act this way, this kind of attitude can cause serious consequences.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE KIDS IN THE BACK
seriously tho. I have told my parents that I want profesional help for my own problems and they don't seem to care at all just because I'm seventeen 😪 it's really awful to have depression but it's worse when you ask for help and people simply don't care.
Andrea C. M. Maybe you can see a councilor at your school. Most school/districts also have a psychologist the councilor can refer you to as well.
Best thing is school councilors don't have to tell your parents you were even there, as long as you aren't a danger to yourself or others. (If you are that doesn't mean hide it tho) and it's free.
Of course this is at least for most schools in america...uh if you're outside there maybe try looking online like 7cupsoftea or something like that? Best wishes, hope you get better soon :)
Andrea C. M. Do you have anyone else in your family that you can trust? Like an aunt, uncle or grandparent? Maybe if you tell them what you feel and that you need help, they could convince your parents in some way.
+Hobostarr180 thank you for the advice ^^ unfortunetaly I'm not from the U.S. so I can't seek help like that :( but I still really appreciate that you cared enough to answer
+Watching The Bees I will try, it's kind of hard to explain feelings like these (It was already hard with my parents) but I guess I don't have another choice. The thing is that I am from South America, and there's a lot of stigma around this subject and mental health in general. My grandma would just tell me to go to church and find God, which it's ok, but not really helpful for me. Thank you so much for your advice ☺️
Being a victim of 2 years of domestic violence and ending up with ptsd has made me feel like I lost my adolescence. But now I realize that if these are my worst times it can only get better
Ainsley Koebel you’re not a victim, you’re a survivor ❤️
Not even began reading the comments and I can already feel the *e d g e*
Legendary Music of All Times 2.0
I tried to leave an edgy comment straight away but then I read the rest of the comments and shit man they made mine look like a Normie comment so I had to shame delete it.
Everyones a goddamn edge lord.
@@JKenny44 Exactly, mate. Too mainstream these days.
With everyone chiming in on how depressed they are/were it makes me feel a little worse about my own set of problems. Thanks, guys!
i have to delete something
Lmao, Me too i can already smell it from a distance
I understood that my dark side also needs love, and not pretense like "I'm fighting demons". It's trying to protect me.
I see what you mean but I was never told how to go back to a happier life once adolescent is over. Also my childhood was saddening too and that's the main reason for why I am this way. Also during my adolescence I was told that I couldn't be this way and was wrong for it. Pushing it all deep down I and never contributing it too something productive. I never really grew out of it.
Mine isn't over but never growing out of it is my biggest fear... I hope you'll do it one day.
Yes but you don't stop growing after adolescence
Paul Kuijpers i don't think that's what we meant
Kevin Carvalho, My adolescentes isn't over yet either. It's going to be my birthday in four days and I feel like it means things are going to just get worst and worst. It's possible things will turn out for the better once I'm 25, but can I hold up that long? Maybe I'm worng for not being able to handle it.
Description Untitled happy (a bit early) birthday!
But what should you do when this feeling simply doesn't fade as you reach adulthood? And what if the feelings prevent you from growing and bar you from opportunities that other much more happy adolescents would've taken? When do you draw the line between depression and general woes faced by the youth in society?
Sheepish If you aren't felling happy for years now you might have a problem
You could not be depressed but it wouldn't hurt to go to therapy
If the feeling is still there, then you still have some growing up left to do. If there are certain feelings preventing this, then solve them. Everybody is more or less depressed.
Go to therapy
James Buckley being depressed doesn't mean you nedd more growing up i belive some of the great intellectual minds are depressed ... depression is relative but in the same time uça universal feeling ... we cant comprehend it so we cant comprehend why we still unhappy after our adescence WE CANT COMPREHEND LIFE REALLY
Imed Eddine Amaïdia Not falling into despair after coming to terms with the harsh realities of existence demands a certain level of maturity. There is a reason why your teenage years are so tough. It's because you are still immature and are just starting to realize how nasty the world, people, and you yourself really are.
Me at 22 still suffering in complete loneliness, feels even worse now than it felt at 13 when it all started
Edgy
Wow are you me? I'm 22 years aold and got diagnosed with depression at 13, it never left me.
@@Books-and-coffee0 well if ur the 22 year old version of me get ready to be diagnosed with a lot of physical health issues in a year😅
One thing I realized recently, literally only a few days ago, is that I've spent these last years of my life being so angry and negative for no reason. Sometimes a person could anger me and even when they'd apologise I'd stay angry. I realise now that by staying angry, you're only hurting yourself
As a 19 y/o the biggest thing I still struggle with is letting my impatient desires lead to impulsive decision making
I just wanted to say thank you for this video. I was up crying last night because I've been so stressed about graduating high school in fear of ending up alone and not knowing what I want to do with my life, and this year it'll be the first time that I spend Christmas without my beloved pets (they had to be put down). It's comforting to think that the despair I'm feeling may help me grow as an individual, to understand that nothing lasts forever and that life goes on.
Hey, you know something? People rarely know what they actually want to do with their lifes when they graduate high school, I'm 21 and started three different college graduations (I'm loving the one I'm doing now), and I thought I wanted to do the other ones, but I discovered that I didn't. I also only started making actual friends this year, and they really opened my mind about people, like you can just go and try to make a friendship with some random person, because I think overall people want more social interations.
The despair sure helps us grow as individuals, I wonder how nice would be my life without my suffering, but I'm also afraid I wouldn't be as good to the people I care about and myself if I didn't suffer.
I just saw you comment and for some reason I wanted to say: have a good Christmas! Things will be fine with time.
That Guy With the Crazy Hand
aaa I apologise for taking so long to respond, when I read this yesterday I was speechless. Thank you so much for your words, I really needed them.
It's comforting to know that even though the people I know now might move on after high school, there will always be a chance to remember the memories we shared, and that I'll be able to make new friends with other people. It certainly makes the idea of going into the real world a little less scary. And from losing my pets, I learned the value in appreciating the things you have in your life and not to take them for granted, so I would say that though it's been difficult, from it I'm growing as a person.
I'm very glad you get to do something that you enjoy, that is also encouraging. I also agree that it is the hardships we experience that can make us better people, even though sometimes we wish those times never happened.
Thank you again, you made my day and perspective of growing up a whole lot brighter. I too wish you a Merry Christmas! ^^
Well, I believe your friends will always remain your friends, no matter the distance or time as long as you are both willing to. My father is moving to a faraway place after this Christmas and it's bothering me a bit, but teaching me how to deal with some stuff.
I'm happy my words could brighten your day! One of my goals in life is master the skill to say stuff that makes people feel better (and for now I believe the truth and sharing past stories are the better way to do this, even if sometimes it can be sad or dark).
@@cy8903 how you doing?
You nailed it. I am 50 now. The teen years were brutal, indeed I decided what kind of person I wanted to be and how I wanted to live, even what kind of husband I should avoid. My experiences also helped me decided how to parent my future children (clarification as a teen I vowed I would never have kids but that changed later, thanks to the biology of female hormones). My bad experiences in public school and ramifications for college and a career helped inform how to educate my own children and how to guide them toward careers that would make them feel fulfilled. Also I taught my kids from the preschool ages about bullying and how to be a good friend and nice person to others based on the rotten experiences I endured at school and on the schoolbus.
Notmyrealname :p You are seriously disturbed
You're lucky being bullied by kids is a piece of cake compared to the sadistic abusr of an evil strange adult on an 11 year old at prep school. Day in day out for 2 years. After that my teenage years were a breeze.
Notmyrealname :p no one tells ppl to do that not all gays are transgender
I also vowed i won't have kids cuz I'm afraid of that I'd hurt them in any ways like my parents did. But idk maybe that'll change since now I'm only 17
Oh man, thanks a lot for this video. It's like a revelation to me, and probably to many other teenagers. Why does the explanation to teenagers feeling crappy always have to be "oh, your minds aren't fully developed", or "oh, you'll understand when you're older." How am I supposed to keep believing that?
I thought something was wrong with me, but thanks to this video, at least I can feel sh*t with a valid explanation in the back of my mind, which eliminates at least one worry: that my life is spiraling downwards, forever.
WTF is up with these trippy acid-induced animations?
Oh boi you truly have seen nothing th-cam.com/video/G8dsvclf3Tk/w-d-xo.html
Thank you. I thought nobody realised that because there were no comments about it. I personally felt really uncomfortable and sad watching it.
I loved the animation lmao, yall love nit-picking
FlorenciaVM1 School of Life takes the opinion that every person is extremely flawed, weird and absurd in unique ways. I think that's why they always make their characters look so ugly and bizarre
Because this life is one big acid trip .
I’m 20 rn, I just went through almost everything u explained. The self hate and big questions what kept me up at night when I was 17-19 but I think I found the my purpose/meaning of my life. I don’t hate myself anymore, I hate the situation I’m in and I’m trying to get out of it.
Thank you for this. You'll never see this but still. It genuinely made me feel like everything is going to be okay. Im 16 and almost 17 and I used to struggle with even being okay with myself. I'm still working on how to love myself and find some one that will love me in return and the doubt of failure of that has always induced apathy to me. Thank you for telling me that I am going to be ok.
"Between 13 and 20"
Me at 22, still depressed: ????
Wow, Reddit much?
But seriously shut the fuck up
I meant to @GihKall
hahahhaa mood
Same
Me at 30...insanely depressed.
I'm 24 am I too old to be experiencing this? Haha.
Alan Morales i don't think so
Not too old, but if you are, you are starting your life 10 years too late.
I started to experience it at 27 (Now I am 28 and still trying to digest the reality of life). I think we all realice the difficulty of life at different times.
oh. that's nice to know... :(
Not alone dude
I'm 19 and too unhappy all the time. Happiness is rare; when i smile i can really feel it and cherish it because I have realised that I no longer smile that much.
I had a Horrible Childhood / Teenage/ Twenties. I've actually watched Documentaries on Serial Killers and the thing that their Parents did to them is like a checklist of the stuff my parents (Mother specifically) did to me. Hence my adulthood kicks ass. I feel sorry for people who make statements like "Being a adult isn't nearly as awesome as I thought it would be as a kid" ...I just can't understand that. I imagine that people who say that must have had great childhoods...oddly I think I'm better off. You get a lot more Adulthood to deal with than Childhood
What'd your mother do?
Supes Me Yeah, I don't miss being a teenager one iota. It sucked - mental health problems, lack of respect, and self-destructive circadian rhythms were nasty. Glad to be an adult.
Yeah. My childhood was horrible, but I grew up knowing that life and people wasn't/ weren't going to be easy or always nice. I wish ppl had to take a test before becoming parents.
coming up on the end of adolescence, and i feel like this is a very important video. i speak from personal experience saying this, but i have truly noticed a stark difference between people my age who have experienced pain and suffering on a larger scale compared to those who have not. this isn’t to say that the lucky ones who had a happier adolescence are less developed or any “less” you can think of, there are just differences. both are equally valuable, both have consequences, and i appreciate this video’s recognition of that.
Hm, nah.
I hear this all the time about multiple things, "You cannot be able to appreciate experiencing _x_ without experiencing the opposite first", essentially. And I'm starting to suspect that this phrase is just a lie humanity tells itself to justify living in the crappy world it created.
Bingo.
It's not about appreciation, it is about the realization that change is possible. To reach the heights you dream of you either have to aim to the sky or you have to endure pain so awful you can no longer tolerate. So you study it, find the tools to correct it, find your way out of the situation only to realize that you have the ability to DOMINATE because NOW you know better about the root of the problem than 99% of the population. Suddenly you are the 1%. But it's not enough, you want to help others climb to the top and FUCKING CRUSH IT DUDE. DONT SIT THERE COMPLAINING ABOUT A YT VIDEO AND SEEK TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY THEN GIVE BACK TENFOLD. JUST DO IT.
I kind of agree but kind of disagree. Of course you don't _have to_ experience the opposite to have appreciation, but I feel like it definitely helps you to feel more connected and grateful for the current moment. For example, knowing starving is painful isn't the same as having felt starvation before and _understanding_ that it's painful.
@@naritruwireve1381 yep thats exactly right, the only difference between the two situations is that one of them can only be appreciated intellectualy but the other one can be felt on a deeper more emotional level.
@@antibioticslogic3198
With respect, that just sounds like a massive platitude. I yearn for the tools to fix it, to prove those who abused, neglected and bullied me from very early childhood to now that I proved them wrong, that I am someone too, that I also have dreams, thoughts, feelings and ideas.
I need the tools, but especially with Asperger's, saying things like "find the tools to correct it" is like saying:
How to tie a shoelace.
Step 1: Tie the shoelace.
Depending on circumstances.
Childhood trauma (flashbacks, intense sensations of humiliation, repressed memories nearly resurfacing, Internal anger, intimacy issues, shutdown)
Depression
Fragmented thoughts
Intense self doubt concerning abilities, memories, sanity, thoughts, feelings and understanding of the work world, timetables, buses, money, homes, finding homes, social skills overall confidence
A condition similar to mood swings, concerning the doubts
Frequent Mindblanks
Brain fog
Paranoia
Experience of Depersonalisation
Mild delusions/Odd goals and fears that wouldn't seem rational
Depression
Crippling fear of failure (to an irrational degree) to the point of not taking steps
Intense disappointment and sadness of not taking steps (but no sense of regret as I believe I cannot overcome it)
Feeling that every thought, feeling and memory I have is perceived by everyone to be wrong or repulsive and subhuman.
Escapism into a world where I live my dream (there isn't a sports car, no penthouse, no marriage, children, sex life, or sex at all, no significant other as I don't yearn for what most others do)
Fear of being around others to the point of craving to be completely alone, conflicting with as I currently notice, a repressed feeling of the yearning of a simple dream, to be around people I like, just the simplicity of intimacy (which I think I blocked out long ago when believing no one would ever like me, fall in love with me, see me as a human being, with has led to very Misanthropic thoughts)
Sadness when I realise I am not actually there and that I am in a place I hate. Annoyance at not finding a way of being deeper in that world.
Experiencing auditory hallucinations when angry
Seeing things in the corner of my eye that aren't actually there
Fear of not speaking to others
So I'm trying to be realistic and genuine when I ask
Can it really be fixed in that situation?
Telling someone they can fix it, doesn't do anything when they are in that state.
I would love to see a video on the importance (or unimportance) of counselling for the average person. I recently began counselling because I felt like I wasn't getting the most out of my emotions and experiences, and it's granted me some insight.
It's shown me that an unhappy adolescence can grant both an arsenal of good attributes and a number of problematic mental and emotional afflictions.
Does anyone else like how he talks?
Crepuscular Night Yes!His voice is very soothing
Who doesn't?
Who is it?
Crepuscular Night yes I like it so.much
😍😍😍😍
I loved this. I'm only 26 but these are the things I came to realize myself by now. It's all that mess in my head that made me who I am today. I'm not a different person as an adult but I'm starting to find answers for my teen self. If I didn't have questions as a teenager I wouldn't have what to answer now. Also being allowed to make mistakes is what I thank my parents most for.
The mess is not in your head, the mess is in this world.
I had an interestingly depressing teenage life. Me being closeted was what really messed everything up for me. Its an isolating life- especially if you're already the type of kid that is horrible at making friends. At a younger age friends come out of the blue but as one gets older they pick and chose, and judge those that are different. So when guys my age have girlfriends, I went made myself as unattractive as i could just so that my parents could understand as to why people would not want to my friend or potetion boyfriend material. I put on extra weight deliberately to make me unwanted. I became a great at hiding secrets ans keeping them too. I was so manipulative because i had no choice. I dislike mostly everything because everything that i saw from day to day seemed like a lie. "If i can show up here and lie about what i am and what I'm feeling what's stopping everyone else?." I didn't realize at the time that I was envious of "normal" people. I decided that the very moment that i could be independent i would come out because i didnt want to lie anymore; but when it happen all of its build of anger, strength, and yearning from independence died with my former self.
So now as an adult I have a lot of internalized, emotional issues that i dont think have been resolve, and sometimes i feel as though it is too late to even want to resolve them. So many horrible memories that I've learned not to linger on them, but forget them? Never.
I did have a couple of good times after coming out and bad times as well, dont picture me the victim as im tired of being one, however I cant emphasized enough that having someone that you could confide in and love you 100% as a teenager is invaluable.
Demonic Boy oh boy what a story. So glad that you made it through those years. I hope life’s treating you much better today. You deserve so much love and respect buddy 🧡🌺
Parnian thanks for reading and accepting my story. Surprisingly im doing okay for myself, and come to realize I have good people in my life. Its still hard for me to open up to them but we're still closer them we've been. Thanks for reading.
Patrik Candrak thanks so much, likewise.
totally relatable other than mine got worse
Not sure if you're right or wrong sir, but these are words many of us liked hearing. And it definitely makes me feel better for all the loathing, hatred and suffering through my own adolescence and helped me come to peace with its effect way into my late 20s now. Thank you.
Kaundinya Sharma this channel is often called a cult and there r chances it actually is but it still makes me feel good
I'm 26 and I'm still stuck in the very state you described in this video... 6 years over time...
its an ideal state. i think that one will never fully match all those points. its a lifelong process my dude
In the same boat my dude. If only we could give off some signal to others who are alike us on the street. Then we wouldn't be so lonely.
Same for me. Been over 20 and feeling like time has stuck and now is even worst.
I was the teenager that was so worried about being loved that I rarely spoke up about how I felt. I didn’t feel like I started living for myself till I spoke up against my parent a few years after 20.
*edgy teens have entered the chat*
edgy and proud
The competition of "who suffers more" just started,Winners Will get a rope
Daniel Martin
me n the boys crying in the bathroom
Several people are typing
Edgy and proud
Exactly, not everyone peaks in high school like you did, mom and dad
I understood this when I was that age. Now it seems like I don't understand anything. At 16 I was neurotic, at the age of psychosis (dissociative) more than once and terrified of everyone. Still I was somehow happier. Today I am a very respected manager (in a shit company but anyway), I am flirty, funny and always have a big heart around people. But when I am alone, the loneliness strikes me 900 times harder then when I was 16. The darkness I smaller but harscher. I still have no dreams, just like I had no dreams back then. I'm 24 now.
The rage I felt as a teen came from not being loved. And definitely not by feeling safe to express displeasure with my narcissistic mother.
I think this guy is getting the word "unhappy" mixed up with "challenging". Having an "unhappy" adolescence (example: getting raped, constantly abused by parents, etc.) can cause depression into adulthood (not to say that is guaranteed or that there's no hope for them), however having a facing certain challenges throughout your teenage part of your life (examples: supporting your family, friendship/relationship drama, school issues), even just the little things, can build you to become a stronger person as you carry on into adulthood. There's a huge difference between the two I think. The best part about this is that you can challenge yourself as much as you want, and thus let those challenges and struggles build your character.
me mo I agree. What is explained in the video doesnt quite match the title. Because "unhappy" leads me to think of abuse and mental illnesses, which isnt a just a "teenager" thing. The importnace teenage angst explained in the video is important, but unhappiness to the point of mental illness is not good.
Sinnamon Tongue unhappiness and mental illness are not the same things. You seem to be confusing all mental illness with depression. Mental illnesses are usually unhappy, but unhappiness does not cause "mental illness". Unhappiness can cause depression, which is a mental disorder, but depression cannot cause "mental illness".
@@minecraftminertime no yeah I know. I just meant I think the word choice that was used in the video was poor. It sounded like they meant a much worse kind of unhappiness then they intended to.
Yeah well unhappy and challenging are both subjective so that doesn't matter
Some things are 'challenging' to some but not to others and don't actually do you any good. That's why the "unhappy" part is important, if you don't experience it long enough throughout your teens (unlike 'childhood' remember, where the opposite is the case) you're pretty much screwed. Very subjective, but how it's framed as 'challenging' has a lot to do with how good your attitude is
5:16 Okay I agree with a lot about this video but.
A partner. Isn't. Something. *necessary* .
Living alone and being happy this way shouldn't be a problem, it shouldn't be an almost taboo, people never talk about this way of living, they never consider their life without a partner, and most importantly they never consider it *fine*
So yeah, I'm saying that and you'll answer "maybe we'll find you in a few years with your cherished partner" (funny that we never say otherwise except to insult someone) and yeah, maybe, but still, don't start thinking you're the "most pitiful loser in the world" because you couldn't find someone to live with or to love in a romantic way.
Being alonr is great and you can be sure you'll be yourself in these moment.
Romantic love isn't the only fulfilling kind of love
So, I get that you didn't voluntarily say that to say "people without partner just didn't fulfill their life" and people might start arguing that he never exactly said that the "special someone" would be someone to love romantically and that's fine, you can argue, we're here for that,
It just annoys me that wherever I go, the possibility of living alone happily is never mentioned
Samen't. He's talking about love, and one of their expressions is through romance and partnership. So if you think you can stay single or stuff, and yet be happy it's perfectly fine!
But love finds you at the end of the day, if it's not through a friend, a family member, an animal or a lover it's through you: loving yourself.
@Fluffynator you can also be asexual, and if you aren't, your hand and sextoys work perfectly fine too uwu
Exactly, im asexual, and I never been atracted to someone in my life, and Im good, and more happy than all of the people in a relationships that I see.
Overcoming the unique challenges that a relationship poses is very important for self development in my opinion.
I was alone for quite a while and I was very happy with it. But exchanges with yourself, family or friends can only inspire so much character development, and can easily become stagnant.
The bond and growth that you can experience from a relationship is not easily substituted. I agree that no one should be shamed for their choice to be alone or inability to find a partner, but in return, the unique value of romantic connections to people has to be recognized.
It's not necessary, but it's almost essential. Humans are pack creatures.
this made me feel so not alone
Im 15 know, i call myself the hapiest kid in the world, which i believe with all my strength. I have suffered, mostly when 13, but when i hit 14, i was a changed guy. I thank everyday for the bad i was "cursed" with, nothing has ever taught me so much. What i tend to talk to my fellows friends who are in the position I was in 1,5 year ago is find why, and then find the why again. Suffering is not there to hurt you, it is there to teach you, find out what it is trying to teach and learn with every moment of pain, agony, sadness and lonellyness
'Can't afford to put a foot wrong'
I feel attacked by that one sentence and it made me cry
I feel silly now XD
Yeah this video made me cry 2 mins in. I think this video serves a bit more understanding and an okay to all the things we are going through
Me too:( i hadnt thought about it that way
For people like me its all too real. Doesn't really feel silly. It's a serious thing people go through, shitty parents.
Wow I really needed this thank u 🥺 I’ve suffered with OCD, depression and anxiety since the beginning of adolescence but only recently decided to do something about it for fear of trying to seem ‘edgy’ or ‘attention seeking’. I really feel like I’ve wasted my teenage years!! I’m now on Sertraline and feel a little better but it’s this video that has really given me hope and changed my view lol💗
everyone wants to be understood and when they finally get to be understood everyone treats them differently it’s not fun to have everyone think they know exactly who you are you just want some people in your life who do know you and understand you but also respect you want a balance between people who think you’re special to and people who just treat you normal
A video has never come at a better time.
This is what I’ve been searching for. Needing. Never have I felt my heart touched and held and understood so fully and innerly. Suddenly.
I feel ok.
You don't know how much i needed to hear this rn, if you didn't just save my life you extended it by atleast a couple years
After you get through the early teenage years and are able to move out and attend college (or do whatever else you choose to as an adult) things really are so much better than you could ever imagine. I know I used to be miserable constantly only a year ago but now I'm in college, have amazing friends and a lovely girlfriend, and am so happy to be alive. Just try and push through until you can get to a better place too! Best wishes!
completely agree. all throughout high school the misery i felt was so boundless that i thought it was some transcendent feature of my own existence and i couldn't exist apart from it, now I'm in university, I've moved out and have met amazing new friends and learn about things that i love learning about and i could have never imagined the happiness that i experience now on a day to day basis
Keep living dude. The people in the comments are right in what they say. I hope you're alright over there.
*Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.*
"Those self hatred moments are the start of deep love." Well what do we do when we get stuck in those moments?
Pain
@@actualbeargrills3086 A lot of it
@Josh Harmer Yeah I try. Thanks
Edgy alert
Your post is too edgy, didnt you know that posting your feeling on the internet is not allowed?
@@pppppppppppppp420 since....?
thank you for this video. i turned 18 last week, and things have been really, really hard for me lately. I dropped out of art school, i feel purposeless, and i haven't managed to make any friends besides online ones, which never end up lasting anyway. sometimes i feel like I'm never going to find happiness at all, and it's going to be like this for the rest of my life.
but videos like this remind me that it isn't pointless. I am not going to remain unhappy and isolated forever. Rather, the self hatred I feel is paving a path towards self love. The isolation means that I just haven't met my real friends yet, and they will come if I wait long enough. I am suffering well, and I am growing with every passing hour in small, minuscule ways that build to a much bigger picture.Thank you, really. You just made my day.
Heh, I read tons of philosophical books, and I found that one thing that is constant: it’s all about your mind.
knowing this I've learnt to control my mind and I have found that hapiness is literally right where I am, no one but myself can supply happiness because happiness is not a collective imagination but singular, within your mind.
bingo.
I’ve read lots of books about the spanish inquisition and there is one constant: it’s all about Spain
Exactly dude! I've been severely suicidal and prescribed SSRIs by my doctor. Dealt with a lot of shit. I don't say that to come across as thinking I'm unique for it, I know tons of others have gone through just as bad and even worse things. I'm just saying for me personally it's been "too much" on occasions. But what has saved me time and time again, as much as I appreciate my friends and loved ones trying to help me, it's been me saving myself. No matter how much you have in this world, it won't save you when it really counts unless you can convince yourself you're worth being saved. Learning to "control my mind" and talk myself out of negative thought patterns has been life changing. I still struggle deeply on a regular basis, but it no longer feels hopeless. It's a battle I swear I will win. And I wish the same for you too my friends
Tfw the reason you can't tell your parents you hate them not because you're scared of not being loved, because you aren't, but because they will kick you out and leave you on the street without any money because they took it all from you for "safe keeping"
Alastol The Great tfw you won't tell your parents that you hate them because you don't hate them. I'm mean, why would I, as long as they feed me I'm gucci. Guess I'm either too grateful, too poor or both.
Its not necessarily that you hate them is to speak your mind
The people the narrator talked about were people that couldn't make a fucking mistake so people would stop liking them people would see the facade
If you can't scream at your parents if you can't not once tell them that you find them annoying you hate them etc because they ill throw you out, as a teen, you should really be calling someone because you're in the hands of some really bad/messed people
I've told them I hate them a thousand times and still they didnt kick me out 😂
This gave me hope
Finally not the opposite this time
Me too :)
This made me feel like killing myself.
Me too
Hope is gone, I'm just gonna be a crack head loser.
I love how weirdly supportive and comforting this video is
Very true I had a miserable 19-23 and I am so thankful for my suffering, it has taught me so much more about life and mainly removing my teenage ego and selfishness, and showed me empathy for others and how to relate to others emotionally. I am now quite successful and and ppl have told me I am mature, but it was all due to that time in my life. There is always sunshine after rain
Liliann31
I agree 100%
Liliann31 same here. I became depressed out of nowhere one day at age 17, and it lasted till 22. That period of my life made me the mature empathic person I am now.
jan jansen happy to hear this! 😃
Same here
damn
Wooow, my adolescence is shit and I hate myself. Great future ahead!!!
yeah same here. sure itš gonna be great when someone loves me in ten years, and all thanks to that shitty time i'm having now. like, wow, i really appreciate that
I was infinitely more unhappy than my peers because of extraordinary circumstances and now in adulthood I'm the ultimate failure. Whatever doesn't kill you cripples you for life.
GodlyAtheist you’re not a failure! That’s not true 🌺
That's not true... whatever hasn't killed you has influenced you in more than one ways. And the crippling part maybe be true but that doesn't mean it hasn't made you stronger and taught you more about yourself. There is always more than one perspective.
@Parnian For someone so beautiful you have a really kind heart.
@Sagarika Uday You're right, it can make you view life in ways you hadn't previously thought possible. You learn to appreciate and care for things that others view as trivial, but negative affects also take hold. Normality is what holds society together. Being stripped of that normality makes you vulnerable to having to live life as a penniless windowshopper.
GodlyAtheist i agree with you. I'm in the same boat. Everyone likes to say that family will always be there for you, but that's not true, they are the first to turn on you, first to cut your Achilles heel, first to throw you in the street without a second thought, first to break every part of who you are.
haha i bet this is what's going to happen to the future me