This might be a good place to talk about this. Some time ago there was this thing about swedes not feeding other peoples kids. I know where it's coming from, I grew up here and I've definitely experienced it as a kid, but it's important to know that it's not about spite or a feeling about "not my kid, not my problem". It's more of respect for the other parent. I'm an adult now and I do have kids of my own. Ofcorse I feed my childrens friends as they visit and I know every other parent do so aswell, but everytime my kid spends time at a friends house I kind feel this nudge of shame like I'm putting some sort of pressure on the other parent. it's like I don't want the other parent to feel the NEED to feed my child. I don't know what they are going through, they might have it rough and seeing how prices are rising might having a hard time to feed themself. I know it's silly, but we are swedes so we don't talk to eachother about it :) I know that most of us are feeding other kids these days and I also know it's somewhat like it used to be. We did get food at our friends house when we where small, but I clearly remember that I always had to call my parents and ask them if they were okay with me eating at my friends house. If I didn't eat there that day it was not because their parents denying me food, it was my mother telling me that she would have food prepered for me when I got home.
I also think it depends on how long the friends stay. I remember from growing up that if it was like a planed thing like this saturday Im having a friend over, staying like all day they would eat with us and the other way around. But if a friend just came over to see if I wanted to hang out they didnt eat with us. Sometimes they called home and ask if they could eat. Its like you dont want the other parents to make dinner and the kid comes home and "no thanks, I already had dinner" they may have been waiting with dinner until the kid came home so everyone can eat at the same time. Yes you can save the leftovers but also dinnertime can be the only time that day everyone can sit down at the same time and talk.
I'm swedish, grew up in Sweden, born -89. When I grew up, we only ate at friends houses if the other parent was informed or the parents made this plan between them beforehand. Dinner-time with the family was usually the only time families had together and thus, it's a bit sacred. Usually both parents work, and don't get that much time with the family all together. It's also like op said, you don't want to make the other kids parents feel like they are inadequate or forced to feed someone elses kids, that would be rude. All in all, it's a culture thing.
Of course the friends were invited when we ate every time and its lovely how amazing it is to know your kids friends. We lived pretty much close to the Gothenburg city center so it was often we had other teenagers to stay over too. What a privilege!
If I went home with another kid we had afternoon snack together, usually sandwiches, and/or biscuits with milk chocolate or juice, sometimes icecream ... but I was supposed to get home for dinner, and leave before they had dinner. I recently listened to a scholar in "meal traditions" and he pointed out that food prices in Sweden were much higher than in most of Europe until the 80ies, so to have your child turn up for dinner unexpectedly in another household was rude.
Swede here. Things I was taught: Lived in a detached house with a decent sized garden and a few trees. One was a large apple tree. My (2.5 yrs) older sister managed to climb up into it and I wanted mum to lift me up into it. She said no. The principle was that when I'm big enough to climb up into it, I'll also be able to get down on my own. Much later, as a late teen, I took a year off to be a foreign student in Japan. The cultur shock was a bit much and I asked mum if she thought I should come home. Her response was that regardless of what you choose, I will support it. She later told me that was her response, despite how upset I was at the time (because of the culture shock), because she didn't want me to ever feel "but you told me to xyz". She didn't want me to have regrets or to feel like someone else had forced me or was to blame. She may have wanted to say "of course you should come home, don't be sad" but the worth of me making my own choices, accepting them and not blaming others (essentially future-proofing me) was more important than what was happening in the present.
Great talk, Stefan (and Marina) Personally, I have let my 4 kids learn from making mistakes, climbing trees/falling out of trees, breaking body parts and having scraped asphalt sores! I also have answered every question, they ever asked. Quick story: I had a fruit bowl when the kids were younger. It turned into a condom bowl when they became teenagers and now, it's a mobile phone bowl, when they come visiting 😉🤣 hello from Denmark 🌸🌦
2:53 Trying to punish kids like that in Norway would be considered abuse and could potentially lead to you losing your custody over your children here.
The most important lessons that my mother taught me was "no means no!" lol."You don't have to be like me or your father you can be your own person." And No one is better than you and you are no better than anyone else." Note: I am not Scandinavian but Canadian with mostly Italian, West, and East Slavic heritage.
The morale of the good old Jante's law is "No one is better than you and you are no better than anyone else". Another way to put it: Life should not be a pissing contest, we are all in the same boat! Why most English-speaking nations are such prudes regarding sex and nudity is beyond me. The sex drive is one of the strongest human motivation, especially during early adulthood. Trying to shame it into oblivion is doomed to fail, education is a much better alternative. The reproductive organs are as much part of every individual as his/her nose - imagine if your NOSE was considered too shameful to be seen in public, something to be covered up at all times while the reproductive organs could be aired out at will.
Your conclusion regarding the Jante law is the best I have ever seen. Regarding sexuality - when I was young in the 80's, students with strictly religious parents were exempted from sex education. They were the first to get pregnant.
As an Indian mom and German husband we were open in terms of education or talking to my daughters of course age appropriate, but also answer questions as honestly as we could. Also bring open and accepting of genders and not discriminating against people.
If you never let you kid fail, it will never learn to improve. If you never talk about why they failed, they will never understand. If you do things for your kids, they could do themself, like picking up the clothes, you are going to do it tomorrow, the day after tomorrow until they learn or move out. Better teach them early to be responsible. There is a difference between punishment and consequences. The later is about the thing they did wrong. If you don't get home on time, your freedom/responsibility going out will be limited as a consequence. Taking away the PlayStation would be punishment. About sex education. We prepare the kids about adulthood in almost every way. Then we should talk about sex and our bodies too. It is a big part of our life.
I agree, and also depends on what they do and how often. Like coming home late. First time tell why its wrong and that next time you will be grounded or something. How can you do it right if you dont know what you did wrong?
@@Azvokadoo I sat 45 minutes in the hallway looking at a jar of marbles all over the floor, with my oldest son. Then 3 years old. - You better put them in the jar. I saw you throwing them all out. - No So then the challenge of will power and stubborness began. I won. He never forgot. He is 25 now. If you make the mess, you clean it up and the old man never ever let you off the hook, if he told you to do it. Alot of crying and yelling. I just calm told the consequences over and over again. You are not leaving here until you've done your job tidy up your mess. As sooner you do it, as sooner you can do something funnier than sitting here yelling. Are you having fun? NO! So why do you spend the evening sitting here watching marbles on the floor then? You can leave any time you like, when the marbles are in the jar. You choose to sit here. Isn't that quite silly? My most well spend 45 minutes of raising my son. A parents job is to give the kid what they need, not always what they want. If you do the work, take the fights right there and then, early on, the rest of the raising will be quite easy. Then you can spend most of the time inspiring, helping, supporting, giving goals in life, give them experience, argumentation. The balance between NO and YES following up through the years. And then in the teens start transforming your relationship towards fellow adults. As they become 18. Then the raising job is done. What haven't been done, will never do. From that day you are just a consultant. The endresult of the journey started with the helpless little toddler long time ago. You better do your job all those years. Step by step. When It's over I can lean back and say I didn't messed up that bad. They are doing allright. They will be fine. My job is done.
I was an au pair in America (Philly) when I was young. Being Swedish, the culture shock of parenting was heavy! It took a while to get used to. I was 19 -20 years old while being there. I had to ask my mom back home in Sweden how to approach a few issues that I had. But I think I adapted a few things to my own parenting skills later on in life. It was over all a great experince!
You were talking about the high percentage of STD vice in USA, but I would ask how high the rate of unreported and untreated STDs there is in the States because of the taboo on the subject…
One the best things in hindsight that my mom did was she fought to keep me out of those special classes.I am a disabled individual. Now, I have been going to school so long some of the staff have called me 'doctor' lol. However, I reluctantly took this semester off but only to mentally and physically re-charge. I didn't take much time off for myself last year. But I am going to try school again when Spring/Summer semester starts in April.
I have ADHD, and it took me almost twice as long to get my education as everyone else, but I graduated last June. Don't be afraid to get the extra support you need, there is no shame in needing a bit of extra help. I had extra time etc for assignments and such because I needed it. It is good that she has showed you that you can do the same as everyone else, but you are also good as you are and you don't have anything to prove. So, don't bend yourself into a pretzel trying to show that you can do it all without extra support if you need extra support, there is no point torturing yourself and wasting unnecessary energy and time. Get the help you need, you are perfect as you are and you can do whatever everyone else can, so not using the assets you have is just a waste. That said, I've heard there are a lot of problems with disability classes, so I'm glad you didn't have to go through that, points for mom! And 1000 points for you for staying in the fight!! 😌🍀✨
I think also it is really easy for girls to get access to birth control pills (or other forms), and they don't have to tell parents, it is free and accessible, and maybe that changes the risk assessment for not using a condom, cause our teenage pregnancies does not really mirror the klamydia numbers. Our HiV numbers are not following the same trend though, with US (per capita) almost 3 times the new cases reported/year.
..some important differences...in Sweden HIV from sex doesent rly exist...due to our healthcare... if u get treathment for it its not a problem, while in us u need to be able afford it... also HIV medication is super effective now... not a single induvidual has died in the last 30 years or so... most also get completly virus free, with no side effects, in US diabetes(destroyed kindney function) is still a problem from it... wich lead to a need for more medication...that u need to pay for... a dawnward medical debt spiral...
I have this funny story. I’m from Tanzania but I’m Indian and was born and raised in Tanzania. I immigrated to Canada and live in Calgary Alberta. So when I was about 8 or 9 we met with this family from Denmark. Most white people working in Tanzania were with working for the embassy, missionaries or working for foreign contractors. This family had a daughter called Katrina and she was similar age to me and was being home schooled by her mom Anna. Her mom had a ‘husband’ and they had a little boy may be 7or 8 months old ( just a baby). One day my friend was so excited that her dad was coming to visit. I just thought the little baby boys father was her father too. My parents who in the 70s were still so old fashioned. We’re in shock. Anna explained yah we are all best friends with Katerina’s dad and we all hang out. My parents were frozen in shock. My parents were like you aren’t going there anymore. I was like why ever not. They were like these people have no values and they have no regard for marriage. Well I went les and less and eventually I rarely saw her. She came over to wish me goodbye as she was returning to Denmark to go back to school. So you can see culturally how different these 2 cultures are and they’ll never meet in the middle. They will think the other is completely insane. So you can see why and how difficult it is to even want to get to these people. If making friends is so difficult then you don’t need friends like these.
I like the "In Denmark the children are allowed to use tools in school like knifes for cooking and so on" its very correct, how else should we learn? :D Recently my partner and some friends asked me how i am so quick at chopping and peeling and i just told them that i have been cooking in the kitchen with my mom since i can remember, i was never afraid of the knife and i ofc grew up using the tiny "greens knife" we call it, so while she dealt with the stove, i could peel and chop the potatoes or carrots or whatever we needed. I loved cooking in school, there was a ton of tools and we learned a lot from being in the kitchen! Some even learned why its important to pay attention with a knife, no serious injuries, but better to cut yourself learning, then chop of a finger alone when you first move out alone! Worst accidents happened in the sewing class because some children wouldn't listen and just pressed the speed pedal, and ran over their finger.. Its a nasty accident but one you'll recover from and scare all the others with haha! (yes it did happen for someone in my class they where boasting about it a week later to bee the cool injured kid hehe) I think the way of parenting in Scandinavia is about independence and raising kids to be their own person :)
Maybe these things have been said before but nevertheless: A. Sex education is propably about the same in Sweden as in Finland. Not only about teaching kids about sex as in how a p goes into v, for example. Sex education is included in the early education too. We teach kids about respecting each others boundaries and that others have to respect their boundaries too. It´s a foundation for education in later years in school but very important. For example, I ask my relatives if I can hug them. My partners 5 years old niece never wants to hug and I respect that instead of forcing her to. B. I doubt swedes are indifferent about having an STDs. The point in the health care is not to shame the patient about getting one. The stigma is bad, but that doesn´t mean the subject isn´t taken seriously.
I got my first pocket knife when i was like 5, to carve wood etc with and my dad teached me how to use it safely and could only use it with him around etc.. Yes i did cut myself plenty of times, but never the same reason twice 😂Hell, it's common to have a dirtbike 50cc at like 5-6yrs old here.. It was also super common to go to the school nurse to get condoms and stuff when i grew up and was 14-15 🤣
I’m a Swedish. I have two sons and the oldest is 14, will turn 15 in August. My younger son is 8. If there hasn’t been an evaluation early, before they start school (at age 6), there is quite a long wait until the child is admitted for an evaluation of neurodivergence. We are now waiting for our 8 years old to even be admitted - he has been remitted by the School doctor to the special children psychiatry in Sweden called BUP. The older son who is 14, had his diagnoses set by the age of 7. He has autism, adhd and OCD. It can be very difficult in school, and many schools don’t have a separate division for the kids with special needs. There are a few private schools for kids with special needs but they are very few. We are lucky to have our kids in a school where there is a special division and my son goes there full time. Some kids go there part time and belong to a common class. My son could never function well in the common class and in 5th class it started to become seriously bad. He would sit outside the classroom in a side room with an assistent. But it was difficult, he felt lonely, different and even worse - he felt worthless. In 6th grade the special division was extended with a lot of extra specially adapted aids in a new renovated area in the school. Now in 8th grade he is at peace with school, still struggling with some of the grades. But the class only containes around 15 pupills with 3 teachers and the class is mixed by 7 graders up to 9 graders. In some cases there has even been 10 graders when it has been a need for that. He now has friends and don’t feel lonely ,not different. Teachers there are great! But many schools don’t offer this solution in Sweden, which is very bad and sad. I need to add, if there is a severer diagnosis set, then there are other schools, when the intellectual part is below a certain level. The difficulties I explained is for the children who have an intellect which is average or even sometimes extremely high, but with neurodivergence.
@@CarolinasConcertVids wow. thanks for your input. I know that in the US people usually try to get their kids in as early as possible. it's really been on the radar in the past 3-5 years.
I’m a brit but I’d definitely take some of the things from Scandinavian culture if I have kids like letting them fall over, letting them experiment in the kitchen (I did as a kid), letting them them use knives (with kid safety gloves), explaining WHY they shouldn’t do things (I was also a kid who asked why growing up although I didn’t always get an explanation),I’d introduce sex Ed at a young age explaining in an understandable level for their age- I don’t get why sex Ed is so taboo.
I think, knowing about certain body parts sex education is also, very individualized. For example, I grew up in the 90's and 2000's but my parents like 70's and 80's horror movies so, me and my siblings watched a lot of those types of movies and sex and body parts were displayed quite often. I remember in grade 3 I said my favourite movie was the original Fright Night from 1985 and the teacher and the class were shocked. My teacher had scheduled a meeting about certain content choices with my parents. We still watched those kind of movies. Even in grade 3 in showing babies being born in our textbooks all the kids we like, "gross!" But that never really bothered me or my brother. Same thing in high school.
If Scandinavian culture is pragmatic towards teaching sex education then I'm genuinely curious as to how successful the integration of refugees from conservative countries (where talking about sex is taboo) is going?
we do have higher rates of chlamydia yes, but less of HIV and considerably less teen pregnancies. And noone is forced to give birth if does happen. We have worked hard and methodically getting to this place as well, sex education and birth controle and abortions were and are huge factors in gender equality, we had the same stigma historically about pre-marital sex and out of wedlock children.
It’s unfortunate that the American school system breeds separation, pitting students against each other - the end goal being how much better you are than your classmates. How does this compare to the Asian school atmosphere?
Sorry what? Do kids in a different country than Denmark not have cooking classes with utilities like knives in school? I thought that was so normal I did not even question it.
@@samu6874 imagine that. Never even thought about it before. So I guess teaching a 5 year old how to use a knife in daycare is also just a Danish thing. th-cam.com/video/Jkiij9dJfcw/w-d-xo.html
Sweden does, ages 12ish to 15 ish has what we call "hemkunskap" roughly translated to knowledge of/atound the home. We got taught to cook, cleaning tips, laundry and some knowledge surrounding purchasing goods and laws around that
It's not that parents take their kids to see animals being killed. It's parents taking their kids to the zoo or marine life museum and watch an autopsy of an exotic animal or whale or shark. It's done in an educational way. Whales and sharks and whales are beached. Exotic animals sometimes die on their own, sometimes they're put down because the zoo couldn't find a place in the world that is of a high enough standards and they need new dna in the flock in order to keep up the conservation work they're doing. If I'm wrong on this, please correct me.
It's stupid to lie to children. They look right through us, so be honest! They are like to find the truth anyway, and then you look really stupid! Peace and love from Denmark
If you want to see how Swedish parents raise their kids, just take a train ride with another Swedish Family with small kids. The kids are free to play loudly and run around whilst their parents mostly are busy checking their social media. If the kids misbehaves, they just tell them off very softly. If another grown up get annoyed of the loud noise and tell their kids, the parents will be very insulted, seeing it as critique of their parenting.
This might be a good place to talk about this. Some time ago there was this thing about swedes not feeding other peoples kids. I know where it's coming from, I grew up here and I've definitely experienced it as a kid, but it's important to know that it's not about spite or a feeling about "not my kid, not my problem". It's more of respect for the other parent. I'm an adult now and I do have kids of my own. Ofcorse I feed my childrens friends as they visit and I know every other parent do so aswell, but everytime my kid spends time at a friends house I kind feel this nudge of shame like I'm putting some sort of pressure on the other parent. it's like I don't want the other parent to feel the NEED to feed my child. I don't know what they are going through, they might have it rough and seeing how prices are rising might having a hard time to feed themself. I know it's silly, but we are swedes so we don't talk to eachother about it :) I know that most of us are feeding other kids these days and I also know it's somewhat like it used to be. We did get food at our friends house when we where small, but I clearly remember that I always had to call my parents and ask them if they were okay with me eating at my friends house. If I didn't eat there that day it was not because their parents denying me food, it was my mother telling me that she would have food prepered for me when I got home.
Yeah, exactly.
It's about respect for *your* family.
I also think it depends on how long the friends stay. I remember from growing up that if it was like a planed thing like this saturday Im having a friend over, staying like all day they would eat with us and the other way around. But if a friend just came over to see if I wanted to hang out they didnt eat with us. Sometimes they called home and ask if they could eat.
Its like you dont want the other parents to make dinner and the kid comes home and "no thanks, I already had dinner" they may have been waiting with dinner until the kid came home so everyone can eat at the same time. Yes you can save the leftovers but also dinnertime can be the only time that day everyone can sit down at the same time and talk.
I'm swedish, grew up in Sweden, born -89. When I grew up, we only ate at friends houses if the other parent was informed or the parents made this plan between them beforehand. Dinner-time with the family was usually the only time families had together and thus, it's a bit sacred. Usually both parents work, and don't get that much time with the family all together. It's also like op said, you don't want to make the other kids parents feel like they are inadequate or forced to feed someone elses kids, that would be rude.
All in all, it's a culture thing.
Of course the friends were invited when we ate every time and its lovely how amazing it is to know your kids friends. We lived pretty much close to the Gothenburg city center so it was often we had other teenagers to stay over too. What a privilege!
If I went home with another kid we had afternoon snack together, usually sandwiches, and/or biscuits with milk chocolate or juice, sometimes icecream ... but I was supposed to get home for dinner, and leave before they had dinner.
I recently listened to a scholar in "meal traditions" and he pointed out that food prices in Sweden were much higher than in most of Europe until the 80ies, so to have your child turn up for dinner unexpectedly in another household was rude.
Swede here. Things I was taught: Lived in a detached house with a decent sized garden and a few trees. One was a large apple tree. My (2.5 yrs) older sister managed to climb up into it and I wanted mum to lift me up into it. She said no. The principle was that when I'm big enough to climb up into it, I'll also be able to get down on my own.
Much later, as a late teen, I took a year off to be a foreign student in Japan. The cultur shock was a bit much and I asked mum if she thought I should come home. Her response was that regardless of what you choose, I will support it. She later told me that was her response, despite how upset I was at the time (because of the culture shock), because she didn't want me to ever feel "but you told me to xyz". She didn't want me to have regrets or to feel like someone else had forced me or was to blame. She may have wanted to say "of course you should come home, don't be sad" but the worth of me making my own choices, accepting them and not blaming others (essentially future-proofing me) was more important than what was happening in the present.
Thanks for having me in the video Stefan!
Great talk, Stefan (and Marina)
Personally, I have let my 4 kids learn from making mistakes, climbing trees/falling out of trees, breaking body parts and having scraped asphalt sores!
I also have answered every question, they ever asked.
Quick story: I had a fruit bowl when the kids were younger. It turned into a condom bowl when they became teenagers and now, it's a mobile phone bowl, when they come visiting 😉🤣
hello from Denmark 🌸🌦
2:53
Trying to punish kids like that in Norway would be considered abuse and could potentially lead to you losing your custody over your children here.
And there they are in the US where spanking is still a thing
The most important lessons that my mother taught me was "no means no!" lol."You don't have to be like me or your father you can be your own person." And No one is better than you and you are no better than anyone else."
Note: I am not Scandinavian but Canadian with mostly Italian, West, and East Slavic heritage.
The morale of the good old Jante's law is "No one is better than you and you are no better than anyone else".
Another way to put it: Life should not be a pissing contest, we are all in the same boat!
Why most English-speaking nations are such prudes regarding sex and nudity is beyond me. The sex drive is one of the strongest human motivation, especially during early adulthood. Trying to shame it into oblivion is doomed to fail, education is a much better alternative. The reproductive organs are as much part of every individual as his/her nose - imagine if your NOSE was considered too shameful to be seen in public, something to be covered up at all times while the reproductive organs could be aired out at will.
Your conclusion regarding the Jante law is the best I have ever seen.
Regarding sexuality - when I was young in the 80's, students with strictly religious parents were exempted from sex education. They were the first to get pregnant.
As an Indian mom and German husband we were open in terms of education or talking to my daughters of course age appropriate, but also answer questions as honestly as we could. Also bring open and accepting of genders and not discriminating against people.
If you never let you kid fail, it will never learn to improve.
If you never talk about why they failed, they will never understand.
If you do things for your kids, they could do themself, like picking up the clothes, you are going to do it tomorrow, the day after tomorrow until they learn or move out. Better teach them early to be responsible.
There is a difference between punishment and consequences. The later is about the thing they did wrong. If you don't get home on time, your freedom/responsibility going out will be limited as a consequence. Taking away the PlayStation would be punishment.
About sex education. We prepare the kids about adulthood in almost every way. Then we should talk about sex and our bodies too. It is a big part of our life.
I agree, and also depends on what they do and how often. Like coming home late. First time tell why its wrong and that next time you will be grounded or something. How can you do it right if you dont know what you did wrong?
@@Azvokadoo I sat 45 minutes in the hallway looking at a jar of marbles all over the floor, with my oldest son. Then 3 years old.
- You better put them in the jar. I saw you throwing them all out.
- No
So then the challenge of will power and stubborness began. I won. He never forgot. He is 25 now. If you make the mess, you clean it up and the old man never ever let you off the hook, if he told you to do it. Alot of crying and yelling. I just calm told the consequences over and over again. You are not leaving here until you've done your job tidy up your mess. As sooner you do it, as sooner you can do something funnier than sitting here yelling. Are you having fun? NO! So why do you spend the evening sitting here watching marbles on the floor then? You can leave any time you like, when the marbles are in the jar. You choose to sit here. Isn't that quite silly? My most well spend 45 minutes of raising my son.
A parents job is to give the kid what they need, not always what they want. If you do the work, take the fights right there and then, early on, the rest of the raising will be quite easy. Then you can spend most of the time inspiring, helping, supporting, giving goals in life, give them experience, argumentation. The balance between NO and YES following up through the years. And then in the teens start transforming your relationship towards fellow adults. As they become 18. Then the raising job is done. What haven't been done, will never do. From that day you are just a consultant. The endresult of the journey started with the helpless little toddler long time ago. You better do your job all those years. Step by step.
When It's over I can lean back and say I didn't messed up that bad. They are doing allright. They will be fine. My job is done.
I was an au pair in America (Philly) when I was young. Being Swedish, the culture shock of parenting was heavy! It took a while to get used to. I was 19 -20 years old while being there. I had to ask my mom back home in Sweden how to approach a few issues that I had. But I think I adapted a few things to my own parenting skills later on in life. It was over all a great experince!
You were talking about the high percentage of STD vice in USA, but I would ask how high the rate of unreported and untreated STDs there is in the States because of the taboo on the subject…
One the best things in hindsight that my mom did was she fought to keep me out of those special classes.I am a disabled individual. Now, I have been going to school so long some of the staff have called me 'doctor' lol. However, I reluctantly took this semester off but only to mentally and physically re-charge. I didn't take much time off for myself last year. But I am going to try school again when Spring/Summer semester starts in April.
I have ADHD, and it took me almost twice as long to get my education as everyone else, but I graduated last June. Don't be afraid to get the extra support you need, there is no shame in needing a bit of extra help. I had extra time etc for assignments and such because I needed it. It is good that she has showed you that you can do the same as everyone else, but you are also good as you are and you don't have anything to prove. So, don't bend yourself into a pretzel trying to show that you can do it all without extra support if you need extra support, there is no point torturing yourself and wasting unnecessary energy and time. Get the help you need, you are perfect as you are and you can do whatever everyone else can, so not using the assets you have is just a waste. That said, I've heard there are a lot of problems with disability classes, so I'm glad you didn't have to go through that, points for mom! And 1000 points for you for staying in the fight!! 😌🍀✨
I think also it is really easy for girls to get access to birth control pills (or other forms), and they don't have to tell parents, it is free and accessible, and maybe that changes the risk assessment for not using a condom, cause our teenage pregnancies does not really mirror the klamydia numbers. Our HiV numbers are not following the same trend though, with US (per capita) almost 3 times the new cases reported/year.
..some important differences...in Sweden HIV from sex doesent rly exist...due to our healthcare... if u get treathment for it its not a problem, while in us u need to be able afford it... also HIV medication is super effective now... not a single induvidual has died in the last 30 years or so... most also get completly virus free, with no side effects, in US diabetes(destroyed kindney function) is still a problem from it... wich lead to a need for more medication...that u need to pay for... a dawnward medical debt spiral...
I have this funny story. I’m from Tanzania but I’m Indian and was born and raised in Tanzania. I immigrated to Canada and live in Calgary Alberta.
So when I was about 8 or 9 we met with this family from Denmark. Most white people working in Tanzania were with working for the embassy, missionaries or working for foreign contractors. This family had a daughter called Katrina and she was similar age to me and was being home schooled by her mom Anna. Her mom had a ‘husband’ and they had a little boy may be 7or 8 months old ( just a baby). One day my friend was so excited that her dad was coming to visit. I just thought the little baby boys father was her father too. My parents who in the 70s were still so old fashioned. We’re in shock. Anna explained yah we are all best friends with Katerina’s dad and we all hang out. My parents were frozen in shock. My parents were like you aren’t going there anymore. I was like why ever not. They were like these people have no values and they have no regard for marriage. Well I went les and less and eventually I rarely saw her. She came over to wish me goodbye as she was returning to Denmark to go back to school.
So you can see culturally how different these 2 cultures are and they’ll never meet in the middle. They will think the other is completely insane. So you can see why and how difficult it is to even want to get to these people. If making friends is so difficult then you don’t need friends like these.
I like the "In Denmark the children are allowed to use tools in school like knifes for cooking and so on" its very correct, how else should we learn? :D
Recently my partner and some friends asked me how i am so quick at chopping and peeling and i just told them that i have been cooking in the kitchen with my mom since i can remember, i was never afraid of the knife and i ofc grew up using the tiny "greens knife" we call it, so while she dealt with the stove, i could peel and chop the potatoes or carrots or whatever we needed.
I loved cooking in school, there was a ton of tools and we learned a lot from being in the kitchen! Some even learned why its important to pay attention with a knife, no serious injuries, but better to cut yourself learning, then chop of a finger alone when you first move out alone!
Worst accidents happened in the sewing class because some children wouldn't listen and just pressed the speed pedal, and ran over their finger.. Its a nasty accident but one you'll recover from and scare all the others with haha! (yes it did happen for someone in my class they where boasting about it a week later to bee the cool injured kid hehe)
I think the way of parenting in Scandinavia is about independence and raising kids to be their own person :)
They have change the grading system a bit this last year so that the grading takes more of an overall view.
Maybe these things have been said before but nevertheless: A. Sex education is propably about the same in Sweden as in Finland. Not only about teaching kids about sex as in how a p goes into v, for example. Sex education is included in the early education too. We teach kids about respecting each others boundaries and that others have to respect their boundaries too. It´s a foundation for education in later years in school but very important. For example, I ask my relatives if I can hug them. My partners 5 years old niece never wants to hug and I respect that instead of forcing her to.
B. I doubt swedes are indifferent about having an STDs. The point in the health care is not to shame the patient about getting one. The stigma is bad, but that doesn´t mean the subject isn´t taken seriously.
I got my first pocket knife when i was like 5, to carve wood etc with and my dad teached me how to use it safely and could only use it with him around etc.. Yes i did cut myself plenty of times, but never the same reason twice 😂Hell, it's common to have a dirtbike 50cc at like 5-6yrs old here.. It was also super common to go to the school nurse to get condoms and stuff when i grew up and was 14-15 🤣
I'd be really curious to know about neurodivergence in Scandinavian kids and their approach to that
I’m a Swedish. I have two sons and the oldest is 14, will turn 15 in August. My younger son is 8. If there hasn’t been an evaluation early, before they start school (at age 6), there is quite a long wait until the child is admitted for an evaluation of neurodivergence. We are now waiting for our 8 years old to even be admitted - he has been remitted by the School doctor to the special children psychiatry in Sweden called BUP. The older son who is 14, had his diagnoses set by the age of 7. He has autism, adhd and OCD. It can be very difficult in school, and many schools don’t have a separate division for the kids with special needs. There are a few private schools for kids with special needs but they are very few. We are lucky to have our kids in a school where there is a special division and my son goes there full time. Some kids go there part time and belong to a common class. My son could never function well in the common class and in 5th class it started to become seriously bad. He would sit outside the classroom in a side room with an assistent. But it was difficult, he felt lonely, different and even worse - he felt worthless. In 6th grade the special division was extended with a lot of extra specially adapted aids in a new renovated area in the school. Now in 8th grade he is at peace with school, still struggling with some of the grades. But the class only containes around 15 pupills with 3 teachers and the class is mixed by 7 graders up to 9 graders. In some cases there has even been 10 graders when it has been a need for that. He now has friends and don’t feel lonely ,not different. Teachers there are great! But many schools don’t offer this solution in Sweden, which is very bad and sad.
I need to add, if there is a severer diagnosis set, then there are other schools, when the intellectual part is below a certain level. The difficulties I explained is for the children who have an intellect which is average or even sometimes extremely high, but with neurodivergence.
@@CarolinasConcertVids wow. thanks for your input. I know that in the US people usually try to get their kids in as early as possible. it's really been on the radar in the past 3-5 years.
I’m a brit but I’d definitely take some of the things from Scandinavian culture if I have kids like letting them fall over, letting them experiment in the kitchen (I did as a kid), letting them them use knives (with kid safety gloves), explaining WHY they shouldn’t do things (I was also a kid who asked why growing up although I didn’t always get an explanation),I’d introduce sex Ed at a young age explaining in an understandable level for their age- I don’t get why sex Ed is so taboo.
I think, knowing about certain body parts sex education is also, very individualized. For example, I grew up in the 90's and 2000's but my parents like 70's and 80's horror movies so, me and my siblings watched a lot of those types of movies and sex and body parts were displayed quite often. I remember in grade 3 I said my favourite movie was the original Fright Night from 1985 and the teacher and the class were shocked. My teacher had scheduled a meeting about certain content choices with my parents. We still watched those kind of movies. Even in grade 3 in showing babies being born in our textbooks all the kids we like, "gross!" But that never really bothered me or my brother. Same thing in high school.
If Scandinavian culture is pragmatic towards teaching sex education then I'm genuinely curious as to how successful the integration of refugees from conservative countries (where talking about sex is taboo) is going?
we do have higher rates of chlamydia yes, but less of HIV and considerably less teen pregnancies. And noone is forced to give birth if does happen. We have worked hard and methodically getting to this place as well, sex education and birth controle and abortions were and are huge factors in gender equality, we had the same stigma historically about pre-marital sex and out of wedlock children.
It’s unfortunate that the American school system breeds separation, pitting students against each other - the end goal being how much better you are than your classmates. How does this compare to the Asian school atmosphere?
I went ot a gifted school, and my oldest niece is in a gifted class.
Chlamydia cases in the U.S. is about 3 million per year, so not really comparable to the 30k-40k in Sweden.
0,004 of swedes get it vs 0,008 of americans
Sorry what? Do kids in a different country than Denmark not have cooking classes with utilities like knives in school? I thought that was so normal I did not even question it.
No they dont. On germany its dependend on the teacher. Some classes have so difficult parents... I just wouldnt do it. You cannot win .
@@samu6874 imagine that. Never even thought about it before. So I guess teaching a 5 year old how to use a knife in daycare is also just a Danish thing. th-cam.com/video/Jkiij9dJfcw/w-d-xo.html
Sweden does, ages 12ish to 15 ish has what we call "hemkunskap" roughly translated to knowledge of/atound the home.
We got taught to cook, cleaning tips, laundry and some knowledge surrounding purchasing goods and laws around that
It's not that parents take their kids to see animals being killed. It's parents taking their kids to the zoo or marine life museum and watch an autopsy of an exotic animal or whale or shark. It's done in an educational way. Whales and sharks and whales are beached. Exotic animals sometimes die on their own, sometimes they're put down because the zoo couldn't find a place in the world that is of a high enough standards and they need new dna in the flock in order to keep up the conservation work they're doing.
If I'm wrong on this, please correct me.
It's stupid to lie to children. They look right through us, so be honest!
They are like to find the truth anyway, and then you look really stupid!
Peace and love from Denmark
Just got into a big TH-cam comments argument about this. People don’t believe me.
🥰
If you want to see how Swedish parents raise their kids, just take a train ride with another Swedish Family with small kids.
The kids are free to play loudly and run around whilst their parents mostly are busy checking their social media. If the kids misbehaves, they just tell them off very softly.
If another grown up get annoyed of the loud noise and tell their kids, the parents will be very insulted, seeing it as critique of their parenting.
This somehow got me feeling closer to the characters than watching the movies over and over…I’m just vibrating with emotions 🥹❤️🥺