She made a great point about how many women who chose abortion already have children. Some women do it for the survival of the family because they have limited resources.
I wish there were as much support for HELPING US RAISE THESE KIDS as there seems to be on the right for insisting we give birth to them. ESPECIALLY IN CASES OF RAPE AND INCEST. I DIDN'T HAVE THE ABORTION EITHER. BUT DID THE FATHER HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT I DID? HELL NO! THEREIN IS THE ORIGINAL INEQUALITY.
Clarity. Definite clarity on the topic. When ardent abortion obstructionist use the tired argument about the sanctity of life, I ask them if they are willing to help, for example, a teenage mom living in poverty, provide for her child "born out of wedlock" for at least 18 years and help provide a college education for the child . The response is always a stunned silence. So much for love thy neighbors, and do unto others as you would have them do unto you and all the rest of the mythology of moral superiority in the Christian world of America.
@@Maggie-zr2ow Because it isn't their problem, they weren't the ones having sex and as a result getting pregnant, if you aren't ready to take care of a child just simply don't have sex and then it would be no one's problem...
@@Maggie-zr2ow You're right, their generosity is lacking. Yet you can't expect them to give full support for your "accident" child, maybe a little help here and there. But a lot of people make that point regardless of religion but because they belive it is morally wrong.
@@Maggie-zr2ow ty. Your comments are so compassionate and reasonable..Especially when it comes to understanding the Christian duty and the lack of correct response and action. This is in regards to our government programs and support systems to be more equitable and compasionate.
Such a valuable perspective. Women are presurred into thinking having kids is just absolute bliss, but it's not like that. Some women will have kids very young and then find that they are trapped by their kids' existance.
The point is, she had a choice. There are as many different stories as there are women, but the important thing is for every woman to have a choice about her future.
@@Bibliophile1969 ☑️ Did you know Former President Lyndon B. Johnson died of a heart attack on January 22, 1973 the same day as the infamous Roe v. Wade baby killing Abortion decision was made that legalized abortion murder against preborn children. I wonder what LBJ said to God ✝️ at his judgment?
It's kinda bizarre how nobody ever uses direct concise language when talking about these things.. the facts are when you get an abortion you are murdering a baby.. plain and simple.. a mother who kills a baby at 18 months for convience is a terrible crime but a woman who kills a baby out of convenience in the womb is considered a hero, it's completely absurd
Her insights here are spot on, I commend her courage in sharing her story. There is much more to this discussion as well. We have to talk about sexual violence and domestic violence as part of this conversation since many women and children are living in unsafe situations. It doesn’t seem like people in our government are connecting the dots here. But people who have lived it and are living it, get it. Many children come into this world to grow up in unsafe homes. She had a very poignant point when she says the sanctity of life doesn’t end at giving birth. If we truly value life that much, our society needs to put in place supports to provide for that life. 🙏☮️💜
The children born into unsafe situation s who are then shaken to brain damage or death, the toddlers who are neglected, beaten, murdered or raped? What about them? Why is abortion not a better choice? Murder by partner is a leading cause of death of young pregnant women; partners don’t necessarily want any part of that situation!!!
@@katherinejones850 Exactly, child abuse and domestic and sexual violence are a crucial critical part of the discussion here. And an abusive partner maintains control over their victim by having child with them. This does happen much more than people realize it and needs to be brought into this discussion, The abusive partner can blame and shame the pregnant person and resent the person as well. Victims of abuse should not have to raise children with their abusers but this is inherent problem in our culture today.
@@Maggie-zr2ow I have no doubt, being pregnant and in abusive relationship is terrifying and adoption would not be an option due to safety. And if the abusive partner knows you are pregnant, it’s game over. This was my own personal experience after being raped by my former husband. I know I am not alone in this experience. Thank you for sharing, your OBGYN friend is saving lives every day💜🙏☮️
Yes, a mother’s dreams and life are impacted. But I keep waiting to hear this viewpoint: that it can so harm the child - the child who deserves parents who feel, and are, ready financially, emotionally, & with a decent degree of maturity, to take on the challenges of being a parent. A lack of those things puts lifelong challenges in a child’s life that he must either overcome or be shipwrecked.
I so appreciate this nuanced conversations about this issue. In my own situation, I aborted my first pregnancy on my 27th birthday and was suicidal about it for years, regretting the decision to this day. I ultimately made the decision because of a lack of support so I totally agree that the crucial conversation here is definitely about how to support moms once they have their child. Pro-choice and pro-life people should be able to unite on the idea that mothers who keep their child should be supported for the first few years at least- as they are in much of Europe.
To many pro-life people, supporting parents would be "communism" (they don't know what it means), and think it unnecessary if the woman has a good, capitalist husband. Pro-life isn't often a logical debate. It's about irrational dogma and people imposing it on others.
@@O1OO1O1 -- There is nothing wrong with the father at the minimum contribute to the welfare of his children. It's usually better if the parents marry and stick to their mutual promise to LOVE each other. It's downright silly to mention whether the husband is ca capitalist businessman or a working man or something in between. "Pro-life" is just what it says: you don't kill your own baby.
@@O1OO1O1 Most pro-life people have no specific knowledge of the policies/programs that W. Europeans receive (and that are the results of the Parties they've supported since post-WW2). Generally, these uneducated, anti-reality, MAGA dolts are simply deranged.
@@raymondmiller5098 they'd say the same about you. I know, I've spoken with them. Look into Eve Pearl man's work (she has a book and Ted talk). It's not as black and white as you make it out to be. We're all victims of decades of social engineering, corruption, and poorly designed systems. Some empathy is helpful if we're to solve this without lots of people dying.
Thank you so much for speaking out on this issue . I 100 % agree with you . Sanctity of life until birth and then no support is not good enough Especially in the US Not to mention the social stigma of being poor raising a kid or kids here Being able to care for the kids you already have without loosing your mind due to being over burdened is important .
I feel deeply that every child born deserves to be wanted and loved. They deserved to be valued for themselves. I am sick to death of fetuses being used as tools to manipulate voters.
@@delfeayothompson2035 You are certainly entitled to your opinion. I, the guest interviewed for this report, and many other people happen to have an opinion different from yours.
Many children grow up in lack mentality because their parent(s) struggle to provide the basics. When are human beings going to connect the dots? Women who have unplanned pregnancies should not be forced to bring a child into an unstable environment. Men shouldn’t get a vote with respect to abortion rights…it might be his unborn child but it’s her body.💃🏼
How about we focus on personal responsibility don't do something to get pregnant and then want to get out of the responsibility especially since you want the men to have a financial responsibility but no say so and rather child dies or not. HYPOCRITE!
I was in the same situation. I was born to deadbeat parents who couldn’t take care of me or my siblings. We spent 2/3 of our lives being considered white trash. All of us defied those odds and have grown into amazing adults. Could the hundreds of thousands of aborted children turned out the same? Perhaps, but we will never know.
@@YaBoiBrendo - I am genuinely happy for you and your siblings for having overcome the circumstances of your childhood. ALL children should be brought up confident that they are unconditionally loved, taken care of, and wanted. You and your siblings should be proud that each of you made better lives for yourselves. As the author and so very many others have stated, abortion is not something that anyone hopes for. But when that option is removed as a choice, the reality is that people born from unwanted pregnancies will likely suffer similar or worse childhoods. And, as you no doubt realise, not everyone is fortunate enough to rise above their beginnings. Society is negatively impacted every single day by individuals who were so damaged during childhood that they are not able to move in more positive directions. At least, not without a significant amount of help and mentoring. Almost no one can truthfully say that they raised themselves up all by themselves with NO help from anyone else. Perhaps if we lived in a society where parents AND children (heck, just people in general) received more support , and medical issues/rape/incest did not happen , then maybe an absolute stance of giving birth no matter what might be entertained. Sadly, that is not reality.
Powerful! What a brave woman and much needed voice! It is an awful/wonderful thing parenthood and the choice should be left to the individual person no matter what!🙏🏻❤️
My two pregnancies would likely have ended with me or the baby or both of us dying. I couldn't go through that and chose to abort. I never became pregnant again. Still I am a mother and grandmother because the Lord (or the Universe) sent a child in need to me and I committed to helping her. I know I am blessed. The world is full of miracles. (I do believe I have met one of those souls; he really wanted to be the child of the man who got me pregnant.)
14:00 This is my own opinion, too, since forever,; and I don't have kids. In fact, I've lost track how many times I've said this country is very cruel to people with children. For starters, the lack of financial support so many mom's don't have.
So beautiful and nuanced. My story is very similar to hers and I love how she ended it with the fact that her honesty has opened up conversations with her boys about their feelings of the past and their future lives. She seems like a great mom 🖤
Have some interviews with more woman who are happy they chose abortion, woman w out guilt and suffering. That don’t feel anything but relief and are in good conscience
Conservatives love to try to frighten women away from having an abortion by telling them that they will be consumed with guilt, remorse, and sorrow, as we as the knowledge that they'll go to Hell. Vicious considering there is no Hell!
I wish this discussion would go viral; but then again, nuanced conversations don't fit in with the binary thought process and/or lack of critical thinking skills among the current state of #Merica
Too many people cannot tolerate complexity, so they choose to think in black-and-white terms. It saves them the trouble of actually using their brains.
Thank God for the day after abortion pill I easily got at a pharmacy in 1974 when I was 18. I was mentally ill, on welfare and the only time I was lax about birth control. I lived in a friends garage for $100 a month. I had no family support and was in no position to have a child. Plus I’m not a Christian and my beliefs are the fetus isn’t a human before the brain and nervous system are developed at 3 to 4 months . I n ver regretted my decision and think every woman should be free to choose
The abortion pill wasn't developed until 1980. You likely had the morning after pill, which is emergency conception that was developed in the 1960s. It prevents a fetus from forming. No fetus, no abortion. Hope this clears up the confusion, and mean comments. Thanks for sharing your story.
This person specializes herself. Good for her she had family support and an education. Many, many women don't in this country. Poverty is real in the USA. Why don't Republicans support those children after birth? Guess it costs money, thier favorite word.
THIS IS MY EXAMINATION OF THIS ISSUE: Conservatives feel that a woman who has an unwanted pregnancy has put herself in that situation, whether she's single OR married. The right believes that premarital and extramarital sex are both the very worst thing a person-- male or female-- could do because these actions risk the creation of a new human life. For conservatives, using contraception doesn't eliminate or reduce the wrongfulness of sex outside of marriage because 1) no contraception is foolproof, and, 2) they believe that people are required to follow God's commandments to the letter. As for unwanted pregnancy within a marriage, if a married couple is in financial or other dire circumstances and a pregnancy would be disastrous, then the answer is simple: fully abstain from all sexual activities. Since fooling around, while it won't impregnate a woman itself, can easily lead to "going all the way," fooling around-- even kissing would be out of the question for married who truly couldn't deal with having another child. But of course, in real life, how many husbands are willing to endure a completely sexless marriage because the couple's personal circumstances will not allow for having a pregnancy and raising another child? Not many. So what happens here is the hubs coerced or outright sexually assaults his wife out of need for relief. And for young couples, many realize that they and any future kids are much better off off they obtain college, better, graduate school educations and marry in their late-20's or early-30's. Being celibate and non-sexual in any other way is just too difficult, too miserable, for most younger men. I do think many couples are not as careful about contraception as they should be. Use three methods of birth control: the copper IUD and some hormonal contraceptive, and for her male partner, a non coated condom with spermacide. Using 3 contraceptive methods will greatly reduce the chance of an unwanted pregnancy and, of course, a possible abortion.
Thank you very much for sharing your story and advocacy work tp protect legal abortion! My grown son and daughter decided 20 years ago not to have children. They endured stupid questions from people who assumed something was wrong and they couldn't have children. I endured several unnecessary "pity party" comments about not ever being a grandma. I've been free to travel with my husband, start my own business, and am still having many adventures. I don't miss what I don't have! There are 2 more conversations I wish women would have. Older women who put off and wait to fulfill their dreams until after the children are grown. The world changes, the job market doesn't hire older moms who haven't had a "real" career, their education and degrees aren't considered relevant anymore, don't have enough $$$ to return to training schools or universities, etc. Women should be educated on health problems caused by pregnancy during and years after a pregnancy. Moms don't want to admit their bodies didn't "hold up" because their uterus prolapsed, bladder fell out causing an ER trip, incontinence, becoming diabetic for the 9 months, hernias, and many, many more. We expect to get a full picture of any ailment or disease but don't ask enough questions about pregnancy complications. For the first time in 50 years, I'm very concerned that abortion will be illegal again. Will the "pro-life" supporters begin making birth control illegal again? And you're absolutely right that many women are shocked and have no idea how or what has brought us to today's events.
The vast amounts of money spent on challenging abortions, could be spent on freezing embryos and providing the medical care to do it. Sure, not everyone would want this service, but it would be an alternative for some who just want to wait until they can provide for a child. There are places that offer pro-life counseling and may even provide used baby clothes, some diapers and tell young mothers they aren't alone. Once the baby is born they tell them to apply for WIC and turn their backs because their job is done.
Another topic rarely mentioned is the physical differences among women. While many have uneventful pregnancies, some suffer long term complications. This is especially significant as rural hospitals decline, and women do not have access to the healthcare they need. Infant and maternal mortality is increasing in many part of the country.
Hey some of like. Ie billions of us who believe in rebirth are just as sure the soul of the fetus will leave the body that is aborted and re enter another fetus when there is a chance to be born
Stunning example of 'holding both' - such a crucial aspect of evolved humanity, truly the mark of healthy 'adulting' when we can speak from nuance and ambiguity on an issue otherwise polarized. Such an instructive approach to any complex discussion. Most people avoid the so-called "hard conversation". This is evidence of what the most humbled maturity can accomplish when actually sitting in the discomfort and engaging from the place, hardest and least desired, but most valuable. Grateful to bear witness and be guided.
Excellent interview, and yes, it's way past time that we, the ones that chose not to have children, are heard too. Reproduction Rights, as Voting Rights, as Justice Matters!!!
“The male ego, which refuses to believe in its own death, now pushes backward, before birth. I was once a fertilized egg; therefore to abort a fertilized egg is to kill me.” - Andrea Dworkin, Right-wing Women
Humans are not mail ordered items that you can plan and pencil into your calendar. None of us would be here if our parents didn't have us. Why do women in out country feel that there is a bad time to have a child. There might be a bad place, living in a country that doesn't support women who choose to have children, perhaps that's the bad part that we need to change.
I adore my son but I never wanted kids and I didn’t get any type of support no preschool no social services because I made “too much” even though we were homeless.
The problem I see with pro life advocates is they also seem to be against sex education and health which prevents pregnancy. You'd think they'd be on the forefront advocating for the best education and easy access to it. What are they doing to prevent pregnancy and why is all the burden on the girls?
Having a baby is the most amazing, most wonderful thing I would NEVER wish upon ANYONE that didn't want one/wasn't ready for it. A lot of what helps you survive those first months (and oh boy, "survive" is not an exaggeration for a lot of new parents) is based on your state of mind. "coerced into this" is definitely not the space you want to be in. thank you for sharing your experience
I appreciate this lady sharing her views. I hope she finds peace in knowing she was a good parent. Parenting is hard and everyone makes mistakes as a parent. I’m sad that on these discussions about abortion that adoption never seems to come up as an option.
I am a pro-choice (with some restrictions) woman. However, she is telling this story and then states she had 2 abortions after her children were born. Abortions should not be a form of birth control. Anyone can make poor decisions, the key is to learn from them. She knew how to prevent pregnancy. This is the kind of behavior that is unacceptable in my eyes.
4 households and a partner wow. That's 5 nannies. Most have maybe 1, 2 if they're lucky. When I got pregnant at 19 I had zero and I'm glad the choice was available. At 38 I had 1 that became zero and it still crippled my career. Takes a village folks.
I was sitting in a restaurant next to some older people with my toddler that was being very well behaved and they wanted to move away from us because the one old dude simply didn’t like kids. We were also about to leave and I made that clear. They moved and those type of people should not have kids either. The child would probably be abused because she was sitting there finishing the meal about to go and I considered very well behaved child at like 2. So yeh who should decide whether one should be a parent or not or should they not ever have an unplanned pregnancy.
I couldn’t imagine my mother writing a book about killing my siblings and wishing she had killed me too. It’s like listening to a the mind of a Serial killer who has no remorse! My heart hurts for her children living and dead.
03:30 "Trapped by our faith." That is the key. Faith is a trap. Free yourself from superstition, from super-nature, from ANYTHING that is not provable by science and set yourself free. The truth shall set you free. And the truth is there is no god or gods. There is no after life. This life you live is yours to make of what you want. No supernatural entity is judging you. Be kind to others. Bring light to darkness. And SCIENCE brings LIGHT to the DARKNESS that FAITH has to offer.
Those exact kids would not have been re-created if aborted. you could have different kids & be a better mom. I wish I could get a do-over & be a better mom. I want to see social changes wherein no one wants to abort. I don't believe legality/,illegality is the way to achieve it.
Wow ...I posted a comment without profanity or lies and it is somehow gone. Social media is starting to suppress alternative views . I think that's not healthy. I posted respectfully. People asked for verification of what I said I posted main stream publications. People got upset, I commented with courtesy but my comment is still mysteriously gone .
What I get out of this is we need sex education including birth control options taught starting in 5th grade and yearly every year after. It's so important. That will bring down the number of abortions. It's a no brained. And I understand sometimes birth control fails, but it should at least help. We were taught these things in high school and I really too it all in. I was the one who kept my friends on birth control if the need was there.
@Old man - Reach out to someone flesh and blood. It does not have to be a religious figure if you are not into religion. But talk to someone, anyone. FWIW, I am sorry that you feel that way.
@@claudiawoods4382 I'm afraid you don't understand the details of my situation, and I don't care to elaborate on the Internet, but I do appreciate your kindness. You have made at least this day a bit sweeter.
We can never hope to grow out of radical misogyny if we keep teaching it to our kids in the Bible and other religious texts... Colossians: 18 ‘’Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.’’ 1 Corinthians: 3 “Christ is the head of every man, and the husband is the head of his wife” 1 Corinthians: 34 ‘’Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. 35 If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.’’ Ephesians: 22 ‘’Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.’’ 1 Timothy: 11 ‘’A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.’’
Boy, Michelle is firing on all cylinders here, guessing correctly that the reason she was hesitant to write about this because her son kids would feel she didn't want to have them in the first place. I'm being sarcastic here. What else could it be, Michelle? Seriously? It's so obvious that it nearly goes without saying.
I’m late to the party. Your comment is a month old. It didn’t age well. I had at least 5 miscarriages, and was told I’d never carry full term. I adopted my oldest at 16, and gave birth at 30. I did not want to have a child at 30. I did not believe I COULD have a child. I had grandchildren by then, my husband was 14 years older than I. My daughter is a treasure, and I love her more than anyone in my life ever. I would have aborted her, except her dad hoped he would get a girl. I was financially secure, happily married, and loved my dogs. My daughter knows the story well. She has chosen to never have children, and at 26, will have her tubes cut, burned, and tied. I did not want her, yet, she is the light of my life.
As a mother of four I was Nineteen when I had my first child and I have finished school it was the best thing that I could ever done my son now is 40 years old I'm about to turn 60 and there's nothing that I will want to change of me bringing my child into this world when people sit up and don't have an understanding about what life is as a single parent well I can see a single mother it was a blessing because God says for the woman to bring forth fruit and I do come from a Christian background my daddy was a Sanctified minister and my mother what's the first lady
Good for you. Not everyone is Christian. Why should our countries laws be centered around YOUR religion when “separation of church and state” is an essential part of our nation.
Because you was not race with the love of Christ that's reason why you doubting what I am saying but to each his own I am still happy and I am loving God Evermore
This is the last comment I'm going to make about this situation it's up to the individual it's not about how we live is that we live and if we go out there and open our legs I'm just be blunt to a man that we're not married to it's our decision keep the child or get rid of it I chose to keep all for my children because I love my family and the father of my children is no longer here but he begged me to marry him I chose not to because I wasn't ready for marriage I was ready for motherhood but I wasn't ready for marriage and that's that's it that's all
@@Maggie-zr2ow thanks for the explanation. I am a Muslim and am very anti-abortion for myself and my religion is general anti l-abortion except early on/in very specific cases. But guess what, I’m also American and believe that we all have a right to choose what’s best for us without government intervention. Isn’t that what conservatives preach? Thanks Maggie for understanding a very basic concept.
I am a Muslim and am very anti-abortion for myself and my religion is general anti l-abortion except early on/in very specific cases. But guess what, I’m also American and believe that we all have a right to choose what’s best for us without government intervention. Isn’t that what conservatives preach? Thanks Maggie for understanding a very basic concept.
Sounds like she's saying she wish she could have had an abortion and that she really wanted to but she was pressured to have a kid I wonder how her kid feels about that?
Merritt addresses this in the interview and in her article. She says repeatedly how much she adores her son and also says that if she could go back in time, she would choose giving birth to her son all over again. BUT she also says she wasn't ready to be a parent. And then she does discuss in the interview, and in the article, her son's feelings and reaction to all of this. It's quite interesting, check the article out in NYT Magazine
![[UNCUT] "เสรีพิศุทธ์" แฉยับ! งัดหลักฐานใหม่ชั้น 14 ได้นอนคุกสมใจแน่!! I คนดังนั่งเคลียร์ I 2 ก.ย.67](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/O1SSg4p9Izs/mqdefault.jpg)
She made a great point about how many women who chose abortion already have children. Some women do it for the survival of the family because they have limited resources.
I wish there were as much support for HELPING US RAISE THESE KIDS as there seems to be on the right for insisting we give birth to them. ESPECIALLY IN CASES OF RAPE AND INCEST. I DIDN'T HAVE THE ABORTION EITHER. BUT DID THE FATHER HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT I DID? HELL NO! THEREIN IS THE ORIGINAL INEQUALITY.
Clarity. Definite clarity on the topic. When ardent abortion obstructionist use the tired argument about the sanctity of life, I ask them if they are willing to help, for example, a teenage mom living in poverty, provide for her child "born out of wedlock" for at least 18 years and help provide a college education for the child . The response is always a stunned silence. So much for love thy neighbors, and do unto others as you would have them do unto you and all the rest of the mythology of moral superiority in the Christian world of America.
Exactly
@@Maggie-zr2ow Because it isn't their problem, they weren't the ones having sex and as a result getting pregnant, if you aren't ready to take care of a child just simply don't have sex and then it would be no one's problem...
@@Maggie-zr2ow You're right, their generosity is lacking. Yet you can't expect them to give full support for your "accident" child, maybe a little help here and there.
But a lot of people make that point regardless of religion but because they belive it is morally wrong.
@@Maggie-zr2ow I agree
@@Maggie-zr2ow ty. Your comments are so compassionate and reasonable..Especially when it comes to understanding the Christian duty and the lack of correct response and action. This is in regards to our government programs and support systems to be more equitable and compasionate.
Such a valuable perspective. Women are presurred into thinking having kids is just absolute bliss, but it's not like that. Some women will have kids very young and then find that they are trapped by their kids' existance.
The point is, she had a choice. There are as many different stories as there are women, but the important thing is for every woman to have a choice about her future.
The point is she was a child herself and didn’t have the choice she might have if fully supported.
@@r8chlletters She was 19 and did have family support.
@@Bibliophile1969 ☑️ Did you know Former President Lyndon B. Johnson died of a heart attack on January 22, 1973 the same day as the infamous Roe v. Wade baby killing Abortion decision was made that legalized abortion murder against preborn children. I wonder what LBJ said to God ✝️ at his judgment?
So women should have the choice to have their babies murdered out of convenience?? Did I get it right
It's kinda bizarre how nobody ever uses direct concise language when talking about these things.. the facts are when you get an abortion you are murdering a baby.. plain and simple.. a mother who kills a baby at 18 months for convience is a terrible crime but a woman who kills a baby out of convenience in the womb is considered a hero, it's completely absurd
Her insights here are spot on, I commend her courage in sharing her story. There is much more to this discussion as well. We have to talk about sexual violence and domestic violence as part of this conversation since many women and children are living in unsafe situations. It doesn’t seem like people in our government are connecting the dots here. But people who have lived it and are living it, get it. Many children come into this world to grow up in unsafe homes. She had a very poignant point when she says the sanctity of life doesn’t end at giving birth. If we truly value life that much, our society needs to put in place supports to provide for that life. 🙏☮️💜
The children born into unsafe situation s who are then shaken to brain damage or death, the toddlers who are neglected, beaten, murdered or raped? What about them? Why is abortion not a better choice? Murder by partner is a leading cause of death of young pregnant women; partners don’t necessarily want any part of that situation!!!
@@katherinejones850 Exactly, child abuse and domestic and sexual violence are a crucial critical part of the discussion here. And an abusive partner maintains control over their victim by having child with them. This does happen much more than people realize it and needs to be brought into this discussion, The abusive partner can blame and shame the pregnant person and resent the person as well. Victims of abuse should not have to raise children with their abusers but this is inherent problem in our culture today.
@@Maggie-zr2ow I have no doubt, being pregnant and in abusive relationship is terrifying and adoption would not be an option due to safety. And if the abusive partner knows you are pregnant, it’s game over. This was my own personal experience after being raped by my former husband. I know I am not alone in this experience. Thank you for sharing, your OBGYN friend is saving lives every day💜🙏☮️
@@Maggie-zr2ow thank you🙏💜
Yes, a mother’s dreams and life are impacted. But I keep waiting to hear this viewpoint: that it can so harm the child - the child who deserves parents who feel, and are, ready financially, emotionally, & with a decent degree of maturity, to take on the challenges of being a parent. A lack of those things puts lifelong challenges in a child’s life that he must either overcome or be shipwrecked.
I so appreciate this nuanced conversations about this issue. In my own situation, I aborted my first pregnancy on my 27th birthday and was suicidal about it for years, regretting the decision to this day. I ultimately made the decision because of a lack of support so I totally agree that the crucial conversation here is definitely about how to support moms once they have their child. Pro-choice and pro-life people should be able to unite on the idea that mothers who keep their child should be supported for the first few years at least- as they are in much of Europe.
To many pro-life people, supporting parents would be "communism" (they don't know what it means), and think it unnecessary if the woman has a good, capitalist husband.
Pro-life isn't often a logical debate. It's about irrational dogma and people imposing it on others.
@@O1OO1O1 -- There is nothing wrong with the father at the minimum contribute to the welfare of his children. It's usually better if the parents marry and stick to their mutual promise to LOVE each other. It's downright silly to mention whether the husband is ca capitalist businessman or a working man or something in between.
"Pro-life" is just what it says: you don't kill your own baby.
@@O1OO1O1 Most pro-life people have no specific knowledge of the policies/programs that W. Europeans receive (and that are the results of the Parties they've supported since post-WW2). Generally, these uneducated, anti-reality, MAGA dolts are simply deranged.
@@GilmerJohn I meant the government supporting parents. Which is what this thread was about.
I'd you read what I wrote, it'll make sense.
@@raymondmiller5098 they'd say the same about you. I know, I've spoken with them.
Look into Eve Pearl man's work (she has a book and Ted talk). It's not as black and white as you make it out to be. We're all victims of decades of social engineering, corruption, and poorly designed systems. Some empathy is helpful if we're to solve this without lots of people dying.
Thank you so much for speaking out on this issue . I 100 % agree with you
. Sanctity of life until birth and then
no support is not good enough
Especially in the US
Not to mention the social stigma of being poor raising a kid or kids here
Being able to care for the kids you already have without loosing your mind due to being over burdened is important .
Yes it is important and it is everything
I feel deeply that every child born deserves to be wanted and loved. They deserved to be valued for themselves. I am sick to death of fetuses being used as tools to manipulate voters.
Susan Chambless -- You give voice to my thoughts exactly! Politics is completely destroying the remnants of the little humanity left in man.
So grateful for this guest sharing her experiences. So many are narrow minded about the issue of abortion.
I wonder how her kid feels knowing that she really wish you would have killed him?
She sounds like a scumbag with regrets of letting her child live.
@@delfeayothompson2035 - And you sound close-minded and judgmental, exactly like those she responded to in this interview.
@@delfeayothompson2035 - Asked and answered at the 15:05 marker in this interview.
@@delfeayothompson2035 You are certainly entitled to your opinion. I, the guest interviewed for this report, and many other people happen to have an opinion different from yours.
Many children grow up in lack mentality because their parent(s) struggle to provide the basics. When are human beings going to connect the dots? Women who have unplanned pregnancies should not be forced to bring a child into an unstable environment. Men shouldn’t get a vote with respect to abortion rights…it might be his unborn child but it’s her body.💃🏼
How about we focus on personal responsibility don't do something to get pregnant and then want to get out of the responsibility especially since you want the men to have a financial responsibility but no say so and rather child dies or not. HYPOCRITE!
@@Maggie-zr2ow - Agreed
@@Maggie-zr2ow - 😊 Shucks! You too. Thanks!
I was in the same situation. I was born to deadbeat parents who couldn’t take care of me or my siblings. We spent 2/3 of our lives being considered white trash. All of us defied those odds and have grown into amazing adults.
Could the hundreds of thousands of aborted children turned out the same? Perhaps, but we will never know.
@@YaBoiBrendo - I am genuinely happy for you and your siblings for having overcome the circumstances of your childhood. ALL children should be brought up confident that they are unconditionally loved, taken care of, and wanted. You and your siblings should be proud that each of you made better lives for yourselves.
As the author and so very many others have stated, abortion is not something that anyone hopes for. But when that option is removed as a choice, the reality is that people born from unwanted pregnancies will likely suffer similar or worse childhoods. And, as you no doubt realise, not everyone is fortunate enough to rise above their beginnings. Society is negatively impacted every single day by individuals who were so damaged during childhood that they are not able to move in more positive directions. At least, not without a significant amount of help and mentoring. Almost no one can truthfully say that they raised themselves up all by themselves with NO help from anyone else.
Perhaps if we lived in a society where parents AND children (heck, just people in general) received more support , and medical issues/rape/incest did not happen , then maybe an absolute stance of giving birth no matter what might be entertained. Sadly, that is not reality.
Powerful! What a brave woman and much needed voice! It is an awful/wonderful thing parenthood and the choice should be left to the individual person no matter what!🙏🏻❤️
THANK GOD FOR PLANNED PARENTHOOD. I had 2 Abortions . 1 in 84 and the other in 88. I thank GOD. I have NO regrets.
My two pregnancies would likely have ended with me or the baby or both of us dying. I couldn't go through that and chose to abort. I never became pregnant again. Still I am a mother and grandmother because the Lord (or the Universe) sent a child in need to me and I committed to helping her.
I know I am blessed. The world is full of miracles. (I do believe I have met one of those souls; he really wanted to be the child of the man who got me pregnant.)
Powerful piece, such a need for these conversations😔
Her article is so good, a perspective rarely spoken
14:00 This is my own opinion, too, since forever,; and I don't have kids. In fact, I've lost track how many times I've said this country is very cruel to people with children. For starters, the lack of financial support so many mom's don't have.
True, but lower social spending allows us to have the greatest economy in the world.
And let's not forget the people ALREADY born that need love and protection. If an embryos life matters, ALL LIFE should matter.
So beautiful and nuanced. My story is very similar to hers and I love how she ended it with the fact that her honesty has opened up conversations with her boys about their feelings of the past and their future lives. She seems like a great mom 🖤
Yeah, but how do her boys really feel? And how will they feel once they grow up?
@@MH-be6hr they are here either way and they know she loves them. Also they are already growing up and talking about it as she explained.
Have some interviews with more woman who are happy they chose abortion, woman w out guilt and suffering. That don’t feel anything but relief and are in good conscience
That would be me!
Conservatives love to try to frighten women away from having an abortion by telling them that they will be consumed with guilt, remorse, and sorrow, as we as the knowledge that they'll go to Hell.
Vicious considering there is no Hell!
I wish this discussion would go viral; but then again, nuanced conversations don't fit in with the binary thought process and/or lack of critical thinking skills among the current state of #Merica
Too many people cannot tolerate complexity, so they choose to think in black-and-white terms. It saves them the trouble of actually using their brains.
@@Soapandwater6 - Sad, but true.
Thank God for the day after abortion pill I easily got at a pharmacy in 1974 when I was 18. I was mentally ill, on welfare and the only time I was lax about birth control. I lived in a friends garage for $100 a month. I had no family support and was in no position to have a child. Plus I’m not a Christian and my beliefs are the fetus isn’t a human before the brain and nervous system are developed at 3 to 4 months . I n ver regretted my decision and think every woman should be free to choose
It's nice you chose to kill your child instead of put it up for adoption you're a great human being!
Good for you.
The abortion pill wasn't developed until 1980. You likely had the morning after pill, which is emergency conception that was developed in the 1960s. It prevents a fetus from forming. No fetus, no abortion. Hope this clears up the confusion, and mean comments. Thanks for sharing your story.
@@TakenTook So a life can not make it to the end naturally I get it but when you stop you stop life unnaturally you are ending a Life PERIOD!
This person specializes herself. Good for her she had family support and an education. Many, many women don't in this country. Poverty is real in the USA. Why don't Republicans support those children after birth? Guess it costs money, thier favorite word.
THIS IS MY EXAMINATION OF THIS ISSUE:
Conservatives feel that a woman who has an unwanted pregnancy has put herself in that situation, whether she's single OR married. The right believes that premarital and extramarital sex are both the very worst thing a person-- male or female-- could do because these actions risk the creation of a new human life. For conservatives, using contraception doesn't eliminate or reduce the wrongfulness of sex outside of marriage because 1) no contraception is foolproof, and, 2) they believe that people are required to follow God's commandments to the letter.
As for unwanted pregnancy within a marriage, if a married couple is in financial or other dire circumstances and a pregnancy would be disastrous, then the answer is simple: fully abstain from all sexual activities. Since fooling around, while it won't impregnate a woman itself, can easily lead to "going all the way," fooling around-- even kissing would be out of the question for married who truly couldn't deal with having another child.
But of course, in real life, how many husbands are willing to endure a completely sexless marriage because the couple's personal circumstances will not allow for having a pregnancy and raising another child? Not many. So what happens here is the hubs coerced or outright sexually assaults his wife out of need for relief.
And for young couples, many realize that they and any future kids are much better off off they obtain college, better, graduate school educations and marry in their late-20's or early-30's. Being celibate and non-sexual in any other way is just too difficult, too miserable, for most younger men.
I do think many couples are not as careful about contraception as they should be. Use three methods of birth control: the copper IUD and some hormonal contraceptive, and for her male partner, a non coated condom with spermacide. Using 3 contraceptive methods will greatly reduce the chance of an unwanted pregnancy and, of course, a possible abortion.
Thank you very much for sharing your story and advocacy work tp protect legal abortion! My grown son and daughter decided 20 years ago not to have children. They endured stupid questions from people who assumed something was wrong and they couldn't have children. I endured several unnecessary "pity party" comments about not ever being a grandma. I've been free to travel with my husband, start my own business, and am still having many adventures. I don't miss what I don't have! There are 2 more conversations I wish women would have.
Older women who put off and wait to fulfill their dreams until after the children are grown. The world changes, the job market doesn't hire older moms who haven't had a "real" career, their education and degrees aren't considered relevant anymore, don't have enough $$$ to return to training schools or universities, etc.
Women should be educated on health problems caused by pregnancy during and years after a pregnancy. Moms don't want to admit their bodies didn't "hold up" because their uterus prolapsed, bladder fell out causing an ER trip, incontinence, becoming diabetic for the 9 months, hernias, and many, many more. We expect to get a full picture of any ailment or disease but don't ask enough questions about pregnancy complications.
For the first time in 50 years, I'm very concerned that abortion will be illegal again. Will the "pro-life" supporters begin making birth control illegal again? And you're absolutely right that many women are shocked and have no idea how or what has brought us to today's events.
This is not pro life movement. It’s another form of suppression supported by women. Some females are as patricha
Opps.
The vast amounts of money spent on challenging abortions, could be spent on freezing embryos and providing the medical care to do it. Sure, not everyone would want this service, but it would be an alternative for some who just want to wait until they can provide for a child.
There are places that offer pro-life counseling and may even provide used baby clothes, some diapers and tell young mothers they aren't alone. Once the baby is born they tell them to apply for WIC and turn their backs because their job is done.
Wow, such an important interview! Thank you for bringing us such valuable content.
Notice how no one forced her to have an abortion she didn't want? Not the government, not hordes of screaming people, no one!
That’s awesome, it should always go the same way for people who do want abortions.
Who is forcing anyone to have abortions?!!! 🥴
@@Mockduck2020 yeah, who?
@@TakenTook well, like so many things, it mostly limits the choices for poorer woman.
The rich always have options.
Another topic rarely mentioned is the physical differences among women. While many have uneventful pregnancies, some suffer long term complications. This is especially significant as rural hospitals decline, and women do not have access to the healthcare they need. Infant and maternal mortality is increasing in many part of the country.
Hey some of like. Ie billions of us who believe in rebirth are just as sure the soul of the fetus will leave the body that is aborted and re enter another fetus when there is a chance to be born
Such an important conversation. Thank you for sharing this.
Stunning example of 'holding both' - such a crucial aspect of evolved humanity, truly the mark of healthy 'adulting' when we can speak from nuance and ambiguity on an issue otherwise polarized. Such an instructive approach to any complex discussion. Most people avoid the so-called "hard conversation". This is evidence of what the most humbled maturity can accomplish when actually sitting in the discomfort and engaging from the place, hardest and least desired, but most valuable. Grateful to bear witness and be guided.
Excellent interview, and yes, it's way past time that we, the ones that chose not to have children, are heard too. Reproduction Rights, as Voting Rights, as Justice Matters!!!
Thank you! I felt very much the same!
People who choose to become parents and people who choose abortion are the same people
Good girls didn’t use birth control. You would have to go out of state for an abortion. Having a child out of wedlock was a disgrace.
Marcia, your attitude is a disgrace.
“The male ego, which refuses to believe in its own death, now pushes backward, before birth. I was once a fertilized egg; therefore to abort a fertilized egg is to kill me.” - Andrea Dworkin, Right-wing Women
Humans are not mail ordered items that you can plan and pencil into your calendar. None of us would be here if our parents didn't have us. Why do women in out country feel that there is a bad time to have a child. There might be a bad place, living in a country that doesn't support women who choose to have children, perhaps that's the bad part that we need to change.
Very brave woman. Thank you very much.
Great interview. And interesting perspective that does not get discussed very often. Thank you.
It’s not a baby, but a zygote.
I adore my son but I never wanted kids and I didn’t get any type of support no preschool no social services because I made “too much” even though we were homeless.
The problem I see with pro life advocates is they also seem to be against sex education and health which prevents pregnancy. You'd think they'd be on the forefront advocating for the best education and easy access to it. What are they doing to prevent pregnancy and why is all the burden on the girls?
Having a baby is the most amazing, most wonderful thing I would NEVER wish upon ANYONE that didn't want one/wasn't ready for it. A lot of what helps you survive those first months (and oh boy, "survive" is not an exaggeration for a lot of new parents) is based on your state of mind. "coerced into this" is definitely not the space you want to be in.
thank you for sharing your experience
I appreciate this lady sharing her views. I hope she finds peace in knowing she was a good parent. Parenting is hard and everyone makes mistakes as a parent. I’m sad that on these discussions about abortion that adoption never seems to come up as an option.
Excellent. She speaks our minds we never articulated... Thank you!
I am a pro-choice (with some restrictions) woman. However, she is telling this story and then states she had 2 abortions after her children were born. Abortions should not be a form of birth control. Anyone can make poor decisions, the key is to learn from them. She knew how to prevent pregnancy. This is the kind of behavior that is unacceptable in my eyes.
I cannot wait to read this article, so profound a conversation this was about being called or considering oneself, "prolife"!
4 households and a partner wow. That's 5 nannies. Most have maybe 1, 2 if they're lucky. When I got pregnant at 19 I had zero and I'm glad the choice was available. At 38 I had 1 that became zero and it still crippled my career. Takes a village folks.
Brilliant piece! Thank you for sharing your story!
I was sitting in a restaurant next to some older people with my toddler that was being very well behaved and they wanted to move away from us because the one old dude simply didn’t like kids. We were also about to leave and I made that clear. They moved and those type of people should not have kids either. The child would probably be abused because she was sitting there finishing the meal about to go and I considered very well behaved child at like 2. So yeh who should decide whether one should be a parent or not or should they not ever have an unplanned pregnancy.
I couldn’t imagine my mother writing a book about killing my siblings and wishing she had killed me too. It’s like listening to a the mind of a Serial killer who has no remorse! My heart hurts for her children living and dead.
Why are men/boys usually totally left out of these conversations. No one seems to say ' zip up the pamts'....
03:30 "Trapped by our faith." That is the key. Faith is a trap. Free yourself from superstition, from super-nature, from ANYTHING that is not provable by science and set yourself free. The truth shall set you free. And the truth is there is no god or gods. There is no after life. This life you live is yours to make of what you want. No supernatural entity is judging you. Be kind to others. Bring light to darkness. And SCIENCE brings LIGHT to the DARKNESS that FAITH has to offer.
Those exact kids would not have been re-created if aborted. you could have different kids & be a better mom. I wish I could get a do-over & be a better mom. I want to see social changes wherein no one wants to abort. I don't believe legality/,illegality is the way to achieve it.
Wow ...I posted a comment without profanity or lies and it is somehow gone. Social media is starting to suppress alternative views . I think that's not healthy. I posted respectfully. People asked for verification of what I said I posted main stream publications. People got upset, I commented with courtesy but my comment is still mysteriously gone .
What I get out of this is we need sex education including birth control options taught starting in 5th grade and yearly every year after. It's so important. That will bring down the number of abortions. It's a no brained.
And I understand sometimes birth control fails, but it should at least help.
We were taught these things in high school and I really too it all in. I was the one who kept my friends on birth control if the need was there.
I kinda have to role my eyes. The “child free” movement is in full force. I would argue that having children is looked down upon in many circles.
Women I know who have an abortion often live with that sorrowful guilt the rest of their life, more than the inconvenience of choosing life.
I could have been an abortion, instead I was given up for adoption. I kind of wish my mother had made the other choice.
You could end your own life if you want your mother gave you the choice to make that decision by allowing you to live.
@@delfeayothompson2035 - Wow! I realize that you are simply trolling. But even for a troll, that was an extremely low blow. Dial down the hate.
@Old man - Reach out to someone flesh and blood. It does not have to be a religious figure if you are not into religion. But talk to someone, anyone. FWIW, I am sorry that you feel that way.
@@claudiawoods4382 I'm afraid you don't understand the details of my situation, and I don't care to elaborate on the Internet, but I do appreciate your kindness. You have made at least this day a bit sweeter.
@@claudiawoods4382 that other person is a good example of why I'd rather not be. Most humans are pretty horrible. You are an exception.
We can never hope to grow out of radical misogyny if we keep teaching it to our kids in the Bible and other religious texts...
Colossians: 18 ‘’Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.’’
1 Corinthians: 3 “Christ is the head of every man, and the husband is the head of his wife”
1 Corinthians: 34 ‘’Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. 35 If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.’’
Ephesians: 22 ‘’Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.’’
1 Timothy: 11 ‘’A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.’’
Now what the last misspelled word was patriarchal.
Wait, what? "Life isn't good enough."🤔
If life is sacred, then support baby and family once baby is born. Create a supportive society.
@@jenniferhampton5171 I agree. With a supportive society to help mothers and fathers and families, the choice will be easier to save a life...
Boy, Michelle is firing on all cylinders here, guessing correctly that the reason she was hesitant to write about this because her son kids would feel she didn't want to have them in the first place.
I'm being sarcastic here. What else could it be, Michelle? Seriously? It's so obvious that it nearly goes without saying.
I’m late to the party. Your comment is a month old. It didn’t age well. I had at least 5 miscarriages, and was told I’d never carry full term. I adopted my oldest at 16, and gave birth at 30. I did not want to have a child at 30. I did not believe I COULD have a child. I had grandchildren by then, my husband was 14 years older than I. My daughter is a treasure, and I love her more than anyone in my life ever. I would have aborted her, except her dad hoped he would get a girl. I was financially secure, happily married, and loved my dogs. My daughter knows the story well. She has chosen to never have children, and at 26, will have her tubes cut, burned, and tied. I did not want her, yet, she is the light of my life.
What Merritt is talking about is pronatalism, And it doesn't help women (or men).
As a mother of four I was Nineteen when I had my first child and I have finished school it was the best thing that I could ever done my son now is 40 years old I'm about to turn 60 and there's nothing that I will want to change of me bringing my child into this world when people sit up and don't have an understanding about what life is as a single parent well I can see a single mother it was a blessing because God says for the woman to bring forth fruit and I do come from a Christian background my daddy was a Sanctified minister and my mother what's the first lady
Good for you. Not everyone is Christian. Why should our countries laws be centered around YOUR religion when “separation of church and state” is an essential part of our nation.
Because you was not race with the love of Christ that's reason why you doubting what I am saying but to each his own I am still happy and I am loving God Evermore
This is the last comment I'm going to make about this situation it's up to the individual it's not about how we live is that we live and if we go out there and open our legs I'm just be blunt to a man that we're not married to it's our decision keep the child or get rid of it I chose to keep all for my children because I love my family and the father of my children is no longer here but he begged me to marry him I chose not to because I wasn't ready for marriage I was ready for motherhood but I wasn't ready for marriage and that's that's it that's all
@@Maggie-zr2ow thanks for the explanation. I am a Muslim and am very anti-abortion for myself and my religion is general anti l-abortion except early on/in very specific cases. But guess what, I’m also American and believe that we all have a right to choose what’s best for us without government intervention. Isn’t that what conservatives preach? Thanks Maggie for understanding a very basic concept.
I am a Muslim and am very anti-abortion for myself and my religion is general anti l-abortion except early on/in very specific cases. But guess what, I’m also American and believe that we all have a right to choose what’s best for us without government intervention. Isn’t that what conservatives preach? Thanks Maggie for understanding a very basic concept.
MM: What about the babies lives.
MT: That’s not good enough
Because Pro lifers are not pro life, they are just pro birth.
This is what the dumbing down of America looks like.
Bro just put the baby up for adoption I would rather be with a new family than shredded in a canister or rotting in a biohazard bin pro life for life
Is this a women's news channel? You'd think men have zero issues ever.
I'm sure Ben Shapiro, Tucker Carlson and Alex Jones can help lead you on what concerns you.
find a new god
Sounds like she's saying she wish she could have had an abortion and that she really wanted to but she was pressured to have a kid I wonder how her kid feels about that?
Merritt addresses this in the interview and in her article. She says repeatedly how much she adores her son and also says that if she could go back in time, she would choose giving birth to her son all over again. BUT she also says she wasn't ready to be a parent. And then she does discuss in the interview, and in the article, her son's feelings and reaction to all of this. It's quite interesting, check the article out in NYT Magazine