I imagine that if the story were to continue, it would probably be a tradition for humans to show up late, mostly to give the other species a chance and to make it more interesting.
@@commissarvigil4806 No, they are a focused machine. And it has been, since ancient times, focused on the art or throwing rocks as fast, far, and accurate as possible.
And he'd done it a bunch of times in the days before. The dude was a messenger who was running all over the place to carry news about the war. He didn't die after a marathon. He died after a shitload of marathons back-to-back.
Me: * does marathon on earth Aliens: * invite humans to server Me * watches this Galatic race * meh he did alright Aliens: wtf holy shit must be greatest runner of all time Humans: lemme introduce our gold medalist
World record for a marathon was 2 hours and 1 minute as of current date. Someone could run almost 4 times the distance in this race more than 30 minutes faster than the human who won what was essentially a 10k. that would make heads spin across the galaxy.
Just imagining them being impressed by 10 mph... then seeing our actual fastest runners, or our longest. Like that one guy who doesnt even have to stop running.
They should see the Barkley marathons. It's an endurance race where they do five back to back marathons through a national park mountain range, with an elevation change equivalent to climbing and decending Everest twice. All in a 60hr cutoff.
@@jonsimpson6240 You forgot to mention that it is run by a sadist where you have to hunt for the books that you have to rip the pages out of to prove you actually made the full course, it is completely unmarked, goes under a prison, and despite the fact that 40 of the best runners in the world run it every year, and it has been run since the 80s, the number of finishers is in the low double digits.
This was a nice wholesome story. I love how the Nyx female was like “look at that, he’s not holding back and mocking his foe, he is going all out, true spirit of competitor right there.” It was just all around wholesome and I love it.
My little sister was a long distance runner in hs, she can still do 7 miles pretty easily. I idea of her tiny 5'3" self crushing aliens in a race is hilarious to me.
There is a race in in Earth called: Spartathlon it is 246 km (153mile) roughly 753 you'll long and where the runners have 36 hours to complete the distance. The record is under 21 hour. That's what earthlings call an all-day event :D
Isn't it two times the length of a marathon? Look up the relay marathon. If I remember correctly it is about 300 miles long but it has multiple runners doing a relay. However there was a man who did it single handedly only stopping to eat or sleep.
@@vertonimal Iron Man Competition- Each year, over 96,000 athletes register to compete in Ironman races, representing over 90 countries, regions and territories. This triathlon distance requires a 2.4 mile swim (3.9K), 112 mile bike (180.2K), and 26.2 mile run (42.2K).
@@keepermovin5906 tbf, we're also exceptionally good at throwing things. Even pre-spear, 50ish humans throwing rocks and sticks and the like as hard as they can makes for a pretty effective deterrent. I mean, if you'll excuse my pointing to the obvious, stoning to death was a thing because we're absolutely capable of killing medium-sized land animals just by repeatedly chucking random blunt objects at one as a group (something else we form quite well)
this means that all those civilizations will find infantry very inefficient, just to be met by human armies moving in hot and jungle environments like a predator
Your channel is truly amazing "the brain scanners should've chosen you for your melodious voice" you sir, have earned another subscriber you really have too few as it is, but I wish you luck in future endeavors, maybe you might even become a professional and hopefully make some money off of your work.
@ NFY if that's the case, It just so happens I'm interested in hiring a narrator for an audiobook. It's not a professional job/contract as I'm just a seminal author writing a web novel, but I am willing to pay you if you're interested and you can meet my standards.
Hey so I just saw you're other post, but I'll put this in two places. Please send me a message on reddit (user: Miandis) and we can talk in a more private setting.
Damn. Once I'm done with the Jenkinsverse, or caught up with it, I'm gonna need to look through the rest of HFY (maybe even get a Reddit-account or whatever the equivalent is), and by extension, this channel. You do some good stuff.
I understand I'm four years late, but whatever, I love stories like this. But, in this story, beyond my fascination with the punchline of its name being a *_literal race_* that I didn't catch on to until the end of the first part, the frequency in which that Lix announcer talking about how "the brain scanner didn't recommend them for [this position] for nothing!" has me concerned. Do people worship this thing? Is there unrest despite the advanced society of over 300 different sentient races giving them "perfect" lives? Are there groups of rebels who oppose this form of meritocracy? Are there sentient species that rejected the Conclave and are open to war with them? The possibilities are, quite literally, endless with every story idea.
To be fair, based on our protagonist's description in the first part, it seemed like the brain scanner was voluntary, there for use by people who don't really know what to do with themselves because they don't need to work to stay afloat in the Conclave's post-scarcity society. Probably less faintly creepy ways of giving them something to do, sure, but as long as folks are also free to leave whatever position the scanner assigns them to (something granted the story doesn't go into), and maybe even try other positions the scanner rated them highly for but not its first pick, there are certainly worse ways of getting a job.
And the reason the first guy who run a marathon is wearing a full battle armor fought a battle no rest and died out of his wounds and bacteria fucking *bacteria*
oh my! 8 miles?! how will he ever survive! truly magnificent, no species has ever had any need to run such a distance. i kept giggling at their amazement, just wait till they see Usain Bolt..or like.. a dog/other fast creature
What dogs are the only other species on the planet that can keep pace with a human for the required distance that is one of the reasons dogs became mans best friend
@@Imperial_Navy03 while yes a cheetah can run up to 60mph they dont have endurance it would be analogous to the alien who started the race the fastest but after a lap or three was overtaken by the favorites on the other hand a horse at a moderate pace, still faster than the other aliens, could beat them but this race was between the spacefaring species not animals
The weird thing about this that almost every living thing on earth is faster than us they just can't go as far as us we essentially filled a spot that nothing in our time has come close to filling
Just imagine the shapes of the other species in the race. They're probably the best in their species, but compared to the human body, our best could indeed beat them with 10 laps ahead at least.
![[Full] 4 ต่อ 4 Celebrity EP.922 | 10 พ.ย. 67 | one31](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zmV5HRIxIBI/mqdefault.jpg)
"... the very pinacle no doubt of human athletesism." Human thoughts: "God I'm so out of shape..."
You had me right there.
I know. I like the contrast to the commentary and the thoughts of the human.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I have only one thing to say to this:
"The Brainscanner didn't make you a narrator for nothing."
XD Thanks bro!
How to be a galactic troll in a good way.
I imagine that if the story were to continue, it would probably be a tradition for humans to show up late, mostly to give the other species a chance and to make it more interesting.
Sportsmanship. Thank you!
It’d be nice since by their own admission the other species aren’t good at racing.
This story was just a nice break from the usual war machines.
@@bogustoast22none25 Humans are Insane war machines.
@@commissarvigil4806 No, they are a focused machine. And it has been, since ancient times, focused on the art or throwing rocks as fast, far, and accurate as possible.
@@bogustoast22none25 Yeah and We are damn good at it too
The thing with the first Marathon distance run is that the runner was in full battle armor, about thirty kilos of equipment.
He also ran after Fighting a battle with no rest
and if I recall he only died because he hadn't eaten enough citrus recently
Wasn’t it cardiac arrest?
@@whitedawn2122 it might have been, but I remember the root cause was a lack of citrus, and electrolights
And he'd done it a bunch of times in the days before. The dude was a messenger who was running all over the place to carry news about the war. He didn't die after a marathon. He died after a shitload of marathons back-to-back.
Me: * does marathon on earth
Aliens: * invite humans to server
Me * watches this Galatic race * meh he did alright
Aliens: wtf holy shit must be greatest runner of all time
Humans: lemme introduce our gold medalist
And their minds explode.
And meet our fastest human alive bolt!!
So, *who wants to run marathon?*
Aliens: *dies of cardiac arrest*
Usain Bolt enters the chat
World record for a marathon was 2 hours and 1 minute as of current date. Someone could run almost 4 times the distance in this race more than 30 minutes faster than the human who won what was essentially a 10k. that would make heads spin across the galaxy.
Just imagining them being impressed by 10 mph... then seeing our actual fastest runners, or our longest. Like that one guy who doesnt even have to stop running.
They should see the Barkley marathons. It's an endurance race where they do five back to back marathons through a national park mountain range, with an elevation change equivalent to climbing and decending Everest twice. All in a 60hr cutoff.
@@jonsimpson6240 HOLY FUCKKKK WOAHHH
@@commissarvigil4806 its got a pretty funny documentary about it.
@@jonsimpson6240 You forgot to mention that it is run by a sadist where you have to hunt for the books that you have to rip the pages out of to prove you actually made the full course, it is completely unmarked, goes under a prison, and despite the fact that 40 of the best runners in the world run it every year, and it has been run since the 80s, the number of finishers is in the low double digits.
The record for the marathon is just over 2 hours. The marathon is about 4 times as long so yeah, our elites could probably run it in around 30 minutes
wait till the conclave learn about the ultramarathons
24 hour marathons
The WHAT
Or maybe a triathalon. If running is so difficult, can any of them swim? How about muscle powered transport like bikes?
Don't forget the 'Self-Transcendence 3100 Mile Race'
You know the ones that take days
This was a nice wholesome story. I love how the Nyx female was like “look at that, he’s not holding back and mocking his foe, he is going all out, true spirit of competitor right there.” It was just all around wholesome and I love it.
"What is this brutal torture called?" "The half marathon." "Half." Ok I pissed myself
Kek, IKR?
these aliens would shit themselves if they heard about the self transcendence run. 3100 miles of crushing run.
My little sister was a long distance runner in hs, she can still do 7 miles pretty easily. I idea of her tiny 5'3" self crushing aliens in a race is hilarious to me.
It would be fun to read a sequel to this with the first alien to successfully run a marathon.
And then promptly keeled over dead, likely.
@@thereprehensible435 I'd say that only make it historically accurate
There is a race in in Earth called: Spartathlon it is 246 km (153mile) roughly 753 you'll long and where the runners have 36 hours to complete the distance. The record is under 21 hour. That's what earthlings call an all-day event :D
Wait till they hear about the Iron Man
The wot
Isn't it two times the length of a marathon? Look up the relay marathon. If I remember correctly it is about 300 miles long but it has multiple runners doing a relay. However there was a man who did it single handedly only stopping to eat or sleep.
@@vertonimal Iron Man Competition- Each year, over 96,000 athletes register to compete in Ironman races, representing over 90 countries, regions and territories. This triathlon distance requires a 2.4 mile swim (3.9K), 112 mile bike (180.2K), and 26.2 mile run (42.2K).
The Iron man is a 2.4 mile(3.8km) swim, followed by a 112 mile(180km) bicycle ride, ending with a full marathon.
We just chase them till they give up running
Same with the predators. We just outrun them till they give up.
@@plinko-moss before we had tools we got bodied by predators because they have better burst of speeds than us and they only had to catch up
@@keepermovin5906 tbf, we're also exceptionally good at throwing things.
Even pre-spear, 50ish humans throwing rocks and sticks and the like as hard as they can makes for a pretty effective deterrent.
I mean, if you'll excuse my pointing to the obvious, stoning to death was a thing because we're absolutely capable of killing medium-sized land animals just by repeatedly chucking random blunt objects at one as a group (something else we form quite well)
@@keepermovin5906 Run forward, wall behind, repeat.
"Your chief weapon as a predator is your ability to run your prey into the ground?"
That sounds so lame but also incredibly terrifying.
We're also the best animal by far at throwing things. We throw things with more force and accuracy even than stronger primates.
Human: Oh yeah we also have the iron man which combines several sports and is about over five times longer than the marathon
Aliens: The *WHAT*
On your left!
this means that all those civilizations will find infantry very inefficient, just to be met by human armies moving in hot and jungle environments like a predator
You know who would be good at this? Forrest Gump.
This is the sassiest reading voice I've heard. neat!
The brainscanner didn't recommend me this video for nothing!
On behalf of the algorithm, I feel like I must call out this is practically how algorithms work, anyhow.
Your channel is truly amazing "the brain scanners should've chosen you for your melodious voice" you sir, have earned another subscriber you really have too few as it is, but I wish you luck in future endeavors, maybe you might even become a professional and hopefully make some money off of your work.
That is the hope :)
@ NFY if that's the case, It just so happens I'm interested in hiring a narrator for an audiobook. It's not a professional job/contract as I'm just a seminal author writing a web novel, but I am willing to pay you if you're interested and you can meet my standards.
Hey so I just saw you're other post, but I'll put this in two places. Please send me a message on reddit (user: Miandis) and we can talk in a more private setting.
@@StarboyXL9 and @NFY so, how did the audiobook go?
Damn. Once I'm done with the Jenkinsverse, or caught up with it, I'm gonna need to look through the rest of HFY (maybe even get a Reddit-account or whatever the equivalent is), and by extension, this channel. You do some good stuff.
*le endurance runner has arrived*
just wait until the aliens find out about the ironman race
I understand I'm four years late, but whatever, I love stories like this.
But, in this story, beyond my fascination with the punchline of its name being a *_literal race_* that I didn't catch on to until the end of the first part, the frequency in which that Lix announcer talking about how "the brain scanner didn't recommend them for [this position] for nothing!" has me concerned. Do people worship this thing? Is there unrest despite the advanced society of over 300 different sentient races giving them "perfect" lives? Are there groups of rebels who oppose this form of meritocracy? Are there sentient species that rejected the Conclave and are open to war with them? The possibilities are, quite literally, endless with every story idea.
To be fair, based on our protagonist's description in the first part, it seemed like the brain scanner was voluntary, there for use by people who don't really know what to do with themselves because they don't need to work to stay afloat in the Conclave's post-scarcity society. Probably less faintly creepy ways of giving them something to do, sure, but as long as folks are also free to leave whatever position the scanner assigns them to (something granted the story doesn't go into), and maybe even try other positions the scanner rated them highly for but not its first pick, there are certainly worse ways of getting a job.
@@SirBroadsword Ah, I see. I know you're nearly a year late to this, but I'm glad to see people keep coming back. HFA posts are the best.
@@RealityBoy101 Much obliged.
The brain scanner didn't do a thing for nothing! Thank you for this story, HFY!!
I love how the way you voice his friend sounds exactly like hedonism bot from futurama
imagine if the dude in this was actually the flash :/
By God you destroyed us. It would be impossible to replicate
Behold our new God and savior
And the reason the first guy who run a marathon is wearing a full battle armor fought a battle no rest and died out of his wounds and bacteria fucking *bacteria*
oh my! 8 miles?! how will he ever survive! truly magnificent, no species has ever had any need to run such a distance. i kept giggling at their amazement, just wait till they see Usain Bolt..or like.. a dog/other fast creature
What dogs are the only other species on the planet that can keep pace with a human for the required distance that is one of the reasons dogs became mans best friend
@@jayglier the original gym bro
Imagine a cheetah would be for then (pretty sure they can run up to 60mph)
@@Imperial_Navy03 while yes a cheetah can run up to 60mph they dont have endurance it would be analogous to the alien who started the race the fastest but after a lap or three was overtaken by the favorites on the other hand a horse at a moderate pace, still faster than the other aliens, could beat them but this race was between the spacefaring species not animals
Maybe that would give us enough funds to set up some pod races
_'Humans are godlike runers'_
Just wait until they hear what amazing narrators humans can apparently be
HFY indeed! :) I like this!
What an awesome story! It has new smiling the whole way through! 😁
The weird thing about this that almost every living thing on earth is faster than us they just can't go as far as us we essentially filled a spot that nothing in our time has come close to filling
Know I’m late as hell on this but u should definitely continue this series plz
I love this story
That was a true delight to listen to.
My god this was amazing
I loved this story
Just imagine the shapes of the other species in the race. They're probably the best in their species, but compared to the human body, our best could indeed beat them with 10 laps ahead at least.
Now that was a good story
This was great! Hahaha
Nice story. Brain scanner didn't make me a reader for nothing
Why did He end? I am luštěniny to this when bathing.
Do any other animals run their prey to death?
wolves are a good example, kind of
Not many
@@grantflippin7808 Wolves bite their prey
@@Cemtexify after driving said animal to exhaustion through lengthy pursuit and harassment
Canines will. Dogs, coyotes, wolves.