This guy is literally the best interviewer on TH-cam hands down...he fully listens to his guests and doesn't interrupt them or try to be the center of attention. Ps: he also asks the best questions...this is what all youtube podcasts should be like!
@@sallyostling “more John’s??” I hope you mean more “John Dehlin’s” because we don’t need anymore “Johns!” Almost every man’s name is John. It is the most common male name EVER
@@Dave-zx2im Those who are who are not. Classic! Let me guess? Real people who are not real people? Maybe genuinely honest who are not genuinely honest? Or is it genuinely honest who are not real people - aliens more honest than Earthlings, maybe? Who ties your shoelaces for you?
Lexie is one of the people that led me to leave the church. I remember being absolutely offended by her temple clothes video. I had a lot of doubts throughout my life but this was shocking to me. As time went on, I became so determined to justify my faith, which led to me falling down the rabbit hole. I watched her why she left the church video and saw a couple more things that made me curious and determined. That night I was up all night reading the whole CES letter. It opened my eyes. What she is doing is helping so many.
I remember thinking that she went too far with the temple-clothes video, but when I started looking at the comments, they were mostly positive and praising her for having the guts to reveal the truth. Person after person came forward and agreed with how ridiculous the temple ceremonies are (fig-leaf apron?), and nobody knew what they were getting into until it was too late to turn back. And it turns out that it's all stolen from Freemasonry and has nothing to do with God or the after-life anyway. And those who spoke out against it clearly ignored the numerous trigger-warnings that she gave before the video even started. I'm proud of you Rylee. It's not easy to admit that you've been conned your whole life. Most people just stick with it because they figure they've invested too much time and money into it to stop now, and who wants to be treated like an outcast by all of their friends and family for the rest of their life?
@@mylesmarkson1686 Thank you so much for your reply. It is a scary road so far, lots of tension within family, but I am hopeful it will all be worth it. I have absolutely loved the exmo community and how supportive we all are of each other. I don’t know if I would have taken the leap otherwise. :)
This is a really interesting post. I had a similar thing with being a Christian and discovering Dawkins. Sometimes you need a virtual slap round the face to wake you up to looking into things. I appreciate some might find it too much but for others it's actually a help. Good luck Rylee and you'll do just fine. Like Lexi says in the video there are lots of cool ex's out there and lots of supportive people. Plus not having to carry all that stuff around anymore can be so freeing, you can enjoy all that life has to offer!
Lexi helped me so much when I left the church last year. I’ve since walked away from my marriage and learned how to stand up for myself. It was so inspiring to watch her bloom into her true self as her TH-cam channel progressed. Thank you for giving me someone to look up to Lexi! ❤️
Lex was one of the first Exmo TH-cam Channels that I saw, her videos, as well as Johns and others, really helped me a lot in my faith crisis. Couldn’t thank you all enough!
I grew up with a lot of friends who were Mormon, and they were straight A students, super high achievers. I remember thinking these girls were going to be doctors and scientists or mathematicians. Then they all just stayed house wives and I was so confused. They had so much potential, and they would say that motherhood was a big enough job that nothing else would have room. Which shocked me, my Mom is a single mother of 5 kids and very accomplished in the medical field. As a young adult I have stried to understand my friends culter, i talked to so many missionaries, went to church with my friends...and all I saw was depression, sacrifice and pain. Now they have daughters and it is sad seeing that again another generation of women will be held back from achieving their potential. I still struggle to understand it...and I wish so much my friends could have been the scientists and doctors they wanted to be. Become the people we all talked about being as kids.
Wen Manatee, I want to share a phenomenon that exemplifies your point. I am talking about the 14 million LDS from the Salt Lake City sect (mainstream) Mormons. The boys and men never get a lesson on how to make bread with a store bought mixture of the ingredients and a $300 bread-making-oven machine. By way of comparison, I can testify that from the years I was paying attention (1975 - 1995) the women in the USA were given a lesson on how to make bread this way about once a year. Some women were content with the lesson, but other women were outraged by the lesson. The lesson sometimes made some moms feel guilty for not having either the time to make bread, or the money to buy the bread making machine. I know one woman who quit the church for the reason I explained. I know several women who would be in anguish after the lesson, until they could no longer hold back the tears. The feelings of guilt (about failing to be a mom that made homemade bread) would turn to outrage. I saw this happen in the state of California, state of Utah. It was ironic because the lesson was always given by women to women in Relief Society class. Note: The machines were not a required purchase per church doctrine.
That always baffled me as well. Ive heard a lot of "oh cure to cancer" or whatever and then they just be a stay at home mom. Its fine if someone wants that but you're not going to find the cure to cancer or be the next great rocket scientist staying at home taking care of your kids.
As an exmo it enrages me too. I wanted to attend a music school like Julliard, but my father would only support me going to one of the BYU's. I fell into the get married and have kids at 20, but at 34 and 7 kids later found out all the truth about the Mormon church. The church is a POS.
@@randyjordan5521 everybody’s different… some Mormons really are great people. But most of them aren’t. Notice when Lex told the story about the RM assaulting her??
I went to the public charter school Lexi referenced early in the interview and was in Lexi’s year. I remember I was the school liberal and the school “homosexual,” before even I knew it, haha. She was always a fun, super kind girl. I guess we were all fighting our own internal demons rather ferociously those years.
Same here, Dannie. I was raised Catholic and it is equally as bad in many ways. I became fascinated with Mormon stuff when we were stationed at the A.F. base in Ogden and I worked with 19yo girls who were on fertility drugs after being married 6 months and not pregnant fast enough. It blew my mind!!!
Same!! I’ve been following ex Mormon stuff since attending my husband’s cousin’s wedding in 2017. I was so sad that her dad who wasn’t a member, couldn’t walk her down the aisle
2:49:20 "For those that say you left the church but you can't leave it alone." - I think the ultimate rebuttal for that is: If you're in a burning building, do you not knock on as many doors as you can, to wake people up - all in an attempt to save them? Is that not what neighbors do?
But that's the same logic religious people use to justify trying to "spread the word" isn't it? I mean I get what you're saying, and it FEELS l like I should help people see that they are brainwashed, but then I'm behaving the same as them.
@@jamesm1580 it's all about making sure all the information is out there. Lies and deception from either side will not do. I'm not anti-church. I'm pro-truth. If my stance on truth is at odds with your religion, broadly speaking here, that's not my problem.
@@mindeloman Then it's not really a good analogy to equate it to knocking on doors to save people during a fire. Bc just making sure the information is out there is very different than actively trying to persuade people that what they believe isn't based in any provable truth. I guess it would be more accurate to equate it to making sure there is information on what to do during a fire and how to stay aware of potential fires hanging up in the building so hopefully they see it.
I love everything you are saying...all of you...I especially liked it when Lexi said, "If your church is true, then we shouldn't be a threat!" So simple and so true! Love you guys!
"Let me be resurrected with the apostates, whether I ascend to heaven or descend to hell, or go to any other place. And if we go to hell, we will turn the devils out of doors and make a heaven of it. " Love you, Lex and John!
I am Soooo glad that Lex did not keep quiet. For people like me, her buoyant stories and perspectives bring light and happiness into a part faith-holding marriage. It keeps me from sinking into utter despair. Please keep up the good work - you two ARE my community!
As a mother, I called my daughter out on FACEBOOK for wearing leggings! I took a picture of her and asked everyone's opinion of what they thought. I'm mortified now that I did that to her.
@@BoyMama87 yes we've talked about it and she is her own person and wears what she wants. We left the church together best thing I ever did! I've only been out 4 years and I'm still struggling with the anger. I would've been a totally different mom if I hadn't been trying to live all the mormon laws and expectations. My daughter and I still struggle in our relationship but it's getting better. But by the time we left she was 17. So all that fighting about clothing, morals, etc could've been avoided. She was definitely a round peg I was trying to squeeze into a square of perfection.
I can imagine how sad you must feel. The indoctrination from the church makes us feel that those things that we did were right and virtuous! So good for you for leaving the church! That’s a tough journey! 💗
I had a fear of men that I've had to work to get over. My dad literally said boys/men were "sex monsters" on more than one occasion. I didn't date in high school because I was scared of them. Wasn't until I left that I realized why I was so scared of men all the time
I agree with Lex that worse than the contents of the CES Letter is the fact that the Church lied about it for decades, destroying limitless relationships.
@@suzannedehaven6775 The most overt and broadly participated lie was denying that JS was a treasure seeker, But if you want to learn how systematic it is read the biography of the Church's Historian Leonard Arrington. Even today, the Church misrepresents JS's treasure seeking activities in their essay and 2015 Ensign piece.
@@suzannedehaven6775 I don't believe JS started scrying for treasure until around 15 or 16. Read Magical World View. In that book you will read about JS's interaction with Sally Chase and other scryers. You will also read how JS groomed and promoted his craft that eventually led to people hiring him to scry for treasure.
I'm an exjw and a subscriber to Lex and Mormon stories. It never ceases to amaze me how similar our ex cults cults are. Same crap, different details. Thank you to Lex and yo John💚
@Rusty Shackleford [I fluctuate with my identity but generally I consider myself an ex-Catholic/lapsed Catholic.] Is there any other kind? It's getting to be all that way. [It’s more cultural for me because I’m an Irish American descended from refugees and who’s family came from Ulster.] Has nothing to do whith which church is true. [But, lot of the issues in Mormonism broadly remind me of issues the Catholic has had from buying your way into heaven to sexual predators in positions of power.] Some Omega watches remind me of some Rolex watches, but they need more than just reminding. [Ie Jesus Christ] You sound more French than Irish. [discovering his father was a pedophile] When did le Jesus discover that? [and Lexi talking about the rapist Bishop.] Reminds me of RC Bishops, lol. [I mean Joseph Smith was a pedophile.] Reminds me of RC Bishops, lol. But seriously, the rapist LDS Bishop is almost certainly true, and he is probably alive to defend himself, if he cares to. However, JS is dead for more than 150 years, and to accuse him of such things says more about the accuser than it confirms about Smith. He was never a ped, and history proves it. Since his death, there have been many of Satan's minions lying that he was, but their chances to prove it went when they murdered him. Too late, then (that was deliberate), and 180 years too late now; any cretin who makes the claim is a scumbag who doesn't realise they can't escape an interview with him and the God who called him to be his prophet. Now you sound more like an Irishman, lol.
2:48:35 a couple years after I returned home from my mission I was friending former missionaries in my mission on Facebook and I noticed one of the sisters was now an atheist. So being the good ex missionary I was I sent her a Facebook message and I politely bore my testimony to her and told her that I don’t judge her for her thoughts and choices but just wanted to let her know my testimony. 🤦♂️She kindly replied and said she knew what I was doing she understood and she was happy with her decisions. Fast forward almost 12 years later when I have gone down the rabbit hole and discovered many things that I had not known for 40 years I realized that I needed to send her an apology, so I did in that same thread and she was taken back and shocked but happy to hear that I had discovered things that were kept from me for four decades as a member.
I'm so glad I found Exmo Lex. I was a convert and had a huge Mormon Convert Honeymoon.... until the church told me that I had to wear garments after I went through the Temple. Then things went down hill from there. I then learned about the priesthood ban and then so many other "secrets." I felt betrayed by those I was taught by, and stupid that I didn't look further into the church. Finding Exmo Lex helped me realize that I was not stupid and not to blame. Thanks Lexi!
Lexie you are a delight to listen to. I have 5 children raised in the church and waited 30 years before getting a divorce so that my children could be raised by both parents. I’m grateful that I joined the church in the late 60s because I loved the friends I had in the church, I loved going on a mission (my first area was Lake Tahoe), and loved my BYU experience. My first temple experience was when I went into the mission home and it was terrifying and had the worst tension headache I ever had having never had a headache before. Slashing my throat during the ceremony caught me totally off guard. Unfortunately with the pressure to get married at BYU I married a 19 year old who was also pressured to get married and it was very challenging for 30 years. Once we had 5 children in 7 years our focus was on our children and not on our differences that allowed us to stay together for 30 years. During the whole time I was often criticized by my wife about my music or watching football on Sunday (what do you expect being raised in Texas and going to Cowboy games since being 8 yrs old). I would do it all over again because of the tremendous love I have for my children. Having been away from the church for 15 years now I am happily married to a very loving spouse. I have no bitterness towards the church because I was deceived by those who were also deceived. I have had 2 spiritual experiences that have given me an absolute knowledge that life extends beyond this life. Having these experiences were not based on any element of righteousness on my part and never thought of them being possible. Not sure where to go with this knowledge but I would certainly be atheist without them. I am much happier not being a member of the church. Not sure how many days or years I have left because I have 2 types of incurable cancers but grateful I know I’m not headed to outer darkness now. Keep up the good work you are doing now. I hope to share some of your videos with my children.
She worded it perfectly when she said Mormonism was taught to her just as reality, not as beliefs. That's the best way to eloquently and concisely explain it. My friends will ask me the same questions, how did you believe this stuff, did you ever doubt? And the answer is just a simple no. I didn't know that was even a possibility lmao.
As an ex-Mormon, ExmoLex is my favorite TH-cam channel for ex-Mormons! This young lady is so articulate, intelligent and loving. Love you Lexi! Love you too John and your channel.
I joined the church late in life and have left seven years later. However, growing up I went to many different churches and remember from them and my parents that I would see my family in heaven and they would meet me at the Pearly Gates. So even though I've left the church, the Terrestrial Kingdom has always reminded me of the Heaven I knew from my childhood.
Wow! My poor husband got the same treatment from me, he was so nuanced, pretty happy. We married in our 60’s, and I was 100% over the top, suffering with religiosity and I made our marriage a living hell for him. Now he wishes I could be like him and stay in but ignore the stupid rules. But I can’t. He does love that I’m so much kinder, loving, relaxed, and just mentally healthier. I’m so grateful we stuck it out.
I connected so much with Lexi talking about her perfectionist expectations in the first years of her marriage. I noticed a similar trait in many of the women I encountered or tried to date in the LDS singles wards. I was often left with the feeling that the true version of me was considered unworthy of marriage or relationships because I had flaws and imperfections. Only the perfect priesthood holders who did everything right and had impeccable finances were marriage material. The church grooms couples to set crazy expectations for what each other needs to be to be exhaled. In my experience, those perfectionist expectations stopped relationships from even having a chance get started. I’m still trying to learn how to feel okay about myself and have confidence in being worthy of love because of it.
Thank you for not keeping your mouth shut. You and other ex mo’s in cyber space are my only support these days and it really is comforting to me. It’s eye opening in that I’m an adult convert from Los Angeles, 68 years old, and I didn’t get how similar a lot of things I’m unraveling are to your own journey. We came up from different worlds but wow! My little sister from another mother 💜 I’m grateful for you
John, thank you. You are literally the best interviewer I’ve ever heard. You don’t dominate the conversation…ever! You let your guests tell their stories. I grew up in a super supportive church that encouraged criticism and questioning. I have never been Mormon, but my heart is so encouraged to hear that there are survivors. A friend I had committed suicide because of getting abused by a minister in their Mormon “church.” I’m continually amazed by these people. Thank you for letting them share their stories. It is therapeutic for me to listen. Again, I have never been Mormon, but I’m grieving my friend. This is helping me process my emotions. Thank you.
I think this has to be my favorite interview. Lexi explains so many things that I struggle to explain to family members regarding why I can't just 'leave it alone and keep my mouth shut.
I was 'inoculated' against most of the things in the CES Letter growing up....critical thinking skills still won out. Thanks to everyone for this epic Mormon story!!
@@gunnerlawts Okay, I'll bite. My critical thinking skills helped me realize that no apologetics actually *can* answer those questions, because logically the only explanation for so much discrepancy is that the church is built on a bunch of falsehoods. It's like someone claiming they can predict when it will rain, but they say it will rain every day. Do the days it does rain prove them true more than the days it doesn't rain prove them false? The believer and the skeptic will forever be at odds on that one!
@@jexitheguru [Okay, I'll bite. My critical thinking skills helped me realize that no apologetics actually can answer those questions, because logically the only explanation for so much discrepancy is that the church is built on a bunch of falsehoods.] That isn't critical thinking - it's drawng a conclusion that a certain number of unanswered questions (determined by yourself) makes them proof the church is false. Utter nonsense! [It's like someone claiming they can predict when it will rain, but they say it will rain every day.] No it's not - that person is answering every day. BTW, my dad used to say it will either rain or go dark before morning. He was never wrong. [Do the days it does rain prove them true more than the days it doesn't rain prove them false?] It's not a count. But the answer is the nut can't predict when it will rain. You should have enough critical thinking to figure out why. [The believer and the skeptic will forever be at odds on that one!] No, the intelligent and the fool are at odds on the rain predictor.
Thank you all for what you do! I’m an ex SDA, I have friends who are currently LDS and I wanted to better understand them. It’s a family, one who is a president. Thank you for your knowledge and sharing of it!
I love the message that we are all "worthy". That word is so abused by the L.D.S. Church and we're taking it back! Laughed at you singing hate mail to hymns; Genius!
I’m so grateful for Lex! I left in 2003 but sat silently with all the trauma and hurt and separation from my family… until 2020 when I found so many ex Mormon content creators who helped me finally begin to deconstruct the religious trauma. Now I’ve been in therapy for over a year, made the hard decision to cut certain family members out of my life for good, and I’m actually beginning to heal. So so grateful. Wouldn’t have been able to get this far without you.
Between Lex, Jimmy, GMS, and Telltale they've reaffirmed why I left years ago. Started to have doubts again this last year or so and they reminded me what it was really like. There are days I miss the sense of community that came from the church but the hypocrisy, the judgement, the lies, and the control they exert over your life is all too much to handle. So thankful for all you guys, it's nice to know we're not alone in our experiences.
When I was True Blue Mormon, I thought I loved my LGBTQ child - but I didn't notice the TBM voice constantly saying "Ex-communicate". I now find ALL people amazing and equal and my heart swells with true unconditional love. (yes, I said "unconditional", and now I know what that really means.)
Please help me to support young people like Lexi. I left the Church in 1989 and tried hard to get back into their good graces. Later I left a second time. It wasn't easy. I left long time friendships. Or they left me. Lucky for me I was a convert to the Church. I realize some "lifers" leave even their families! I still had my sister and my Mom who supported me wholeheartedly! When I see your utube videos I want to reach out and hug the people you are interviewing. I hope some sort of a support group evolves! I'm happily married. I'm 71 years old and I'm in a place to really enjoy my life!
Watching your videos really helped me internalize all the crazy thoughts and feelings I have had going through my faith crisis. They gave me the comfort to know that I'll be okay no matter what my family thinks once they find out. Thank you Lexi!
I’ve only seen the temple clothes twice. On her channel and on the tv series Big Love. It is so incredibly secret. The relationship between LDS temple stuff and Masonry is important for deconstructing the history of the church and it’s foundation. All of the original authorities were Masons and Masonic imagery is all over the SLC temple. I would like to see content exploring that relationship.
You do great work Lexi. Keep it up. Now 81, I dropped out in my soul, when I was pre-teen in the '50's. Hearing your journey helps me even though it was very different. You are a STAR!
I am making my way through all of these podcasts on Mormon Stories. As a recovering Catholic (and maybe organized religion in general), I totally am relating to losing my tribe. I love these talks, and I continue to learn a lot. My family was not religious really but some of the groups I belonged to in the Catholic church, singles groups specifically, were so fundamental. When I left the church, my "friends" were no longer there and would only associate with fellow Catholics. This isn't what I believe God and Jesus to be like. Jesus didn't segregate. But this is why your podcast is so relatable with your speakers. I can't talk to family about this, because they would think I am weird and we are a very reserved family anyway. I would be told just to get over it. It's hard with the depression and all that but it continues to get better. Thanks for posting these and the podcasts! I will try and support at some point financially as you do an amazing service for those leaving ANY organized religion and trying to find their way post these faiths! Thank you! Happy holidays!
I related so much to ExmoLex's story, from learning all the stuff the church hid all my life to my mom telling me to keep my mouth shut! Thanks for the interview Lexi and John, and keep up the good work!!❤️❤️❤️
Lex creates content that is so relatable. She is always so comforting to watch. She was a big reason that I began speaking out on Facebook, and created The First Quorum of the Twelve Apostates.
Me too!! They’re both awesome. At first i thought they were the adversary swaying me but when i actually left and started watching them again i realized how brave they are for speaking out when Mormons will view them as such. Both brave and intelligent
My sister in law told me that nothing in the temple would surprise me if I'd paid attention during sacrement meeting. Needless to say I was SHOCKED when I actually went through.
Yes! I devoured all of the temple prep content and asked multiple people questions before I got my endowments because I wanted to know what to expect and to feel like I was actually ready… and NO ONE could tell me anything.
Yeah I mean have you never noticed how many secret handshakes abs code words you need to know to be allowed to take the sacrament? And remember when the women had the promise to obey their husbands and ritually chant prayers in a prayer circle during the opening and closing prayers? I mean cmon now, how can you forget all this stuff lol?
Thanks to everyone involved in this video. At first I thought "4 HOURS!!" But boy did that go fast. Thanks for sharing your journey. No matter what religion, it's not an easy journey out. Please continue your good work!!!
I have never been religious but I was recommended an anti MLM video on TH-cam once and then I got into ex Mormon content and it’s all just so fascinating to me. And even as someone who has never been in a moderate to high control group I think it’s always good to listen to these stories and recognize the signs of these types of groups to protect myself in the future.
I have been out of the Mormon church for 10 years now, and I still have “Mormon” me, when I’m around family and friends who are LDS, and regular me lol.
@@sarahcoomer4924 funny part is ,they know the truth but they choose to stay...everyone makes choices in this life,and it's up to them whether or not they want to stay or not...so for you to actually say what you said, is completely unfounded...because on some level it helps them to be a better person, it helps them to strive each and everyday to find peace &love and happiness in this negative world we all live in...btw..whatever you call truth..it probably helped you make your choice to leave the Mormon church and that's on you...not anyone else...just remember the Mormon church must be doing something right to have this many haters.....
@@suzannedehaven6775 LOL literally watch the video she talks about this point. like what do you think this comments gonna do make me repent and go to temple?
@@sarahcoomer4924 I am not gonna make you do anything...that's completely up to you,not anyone else..your life is between God and you...if you repent and take the steps to go back to the temple, that will be completely up to you if you do that...that is your choice...its not up to me or anyone else at that matter...its completely up to you to make that choice..you know right from wrong...you need to sort that out for yourself...religion and making choices is never a group thing...just like you made the choice to sin and leave the Mormon church, that's completely on you and no one else...
Also mine, life and upbringing as a young earth creationist, literalist, fundamentalist, true and only church, baptist...seems all cults ring the same!!
I left the church in 2013. But ExMo Lex was a breath of fresh air in the Ex-Mo community. Was a huge fan of Flackerman and BroJake but their content dried up because there’s only so much doctrine out there to debunk. Once the doctrine is debunked you can’t re believe in Santa Claus. Lex offered a new “let’s just talk about being Ex-Mormon” channel, and it felt like so refreshing.
"You can leave the church but you can't leave it alone." This is why. I get they don't realise how hard it is to lose literally everything. A faith crisis and loss is the hardest thing (or at least one of them) any of us have ever had to go through and for many of us our families and friends have shunned us simply for learning the truth.
Thank you for all of your online content. I’ve recently left the church and have felt so alone but your presence on my social media has helped me feel so much less alone. So thank you so much lex 🥰
It’s amazing as ex Jehovah’s Witnesses my wife and I can relate to so much of your story. It’s amazing how we could sit in a coffee shop together and feel like we really get you says a lot about cult indoctrination!!!
Just wanted to take a minute to add my one small voice to the discussion. I was never Mormon. I grew up evangelical Christian. I left it behind in 2016 after a long road of critical thought and doubt. I was always told/taught a lot of the problems with LDS church history. The CES letter is amazing. It solidifies and demonstrates a lot of what I learned about the problems with LDS church history. The secrecy in Mormonism was always a red flag. I’m so glad much of it is coming to light in the Information Age. As a fellow apostate, from my own religion, I really enjoy these stories. Shared experience, even if it’s not from the same doctrine, is still enjoyable. Truth above belief is magnetic. Keep up the great work!
It's just because there were so many different types of Christian denominations at the time. Protestants had been brutalized so badly by Catholics they wanted to make sure state-sanctioned violence against Protestants would be impossible. In their OWN religion though, they'll shame people for believing anything else.
Lexi you have an incredible amount of courage. I am not brave enough to put myself out there on the internet and say what I really think about the church. If I did, the anxiety and dealing with reactions from people would overtake me and be crippling to me. But thank you Lexi. It is helping me and so many others! You’re a source of support and strength we need so badly
It gets better, I promise. I left at 16 and lost my parents, brothers, friends, my whole world. I’m still estranged from them 20 years later but being free from the church is worth it. Sending you love ❤️ Life is beautiful when you’re free.
@@dalipgupta8275 too late. I lost it 2 years ago and I’ve never been happier. A faith transition is like a drug withdrawal. Once it’s out of your system, life is infinitely better.
This is the analogy I used with my wife when I told her recently I’m going through a faith transition. I told her I wish I could jus go back to taking the blue pill and believing in the church. But I’ve been red pilled and realize the entire framework of my reality is based on deceit and lies and I can’t ignore it. It sucks but you must face the music after you take the red pill.
Omg when you guys were talking about how the Mormon church does ads on your videos all the time I got an ad from them! 😂 I almost thought it was a joke that you put in there literally right after you said that!
This is such a great interview. Thank you Lexi for sharing your life journey. I have very much related to your pain and feeling of a lost identity when I realized I was living in a lie created by the church. Our family was going through it in late 2018 as well. It really hurts and like you said unless you have gone through it, lds members can't understand. Thank you for being opened on so many levels and I am so sorry for the sexual assault that happened to you. You are an amazing woman and thank you for helping others! Our family has been enjoying your videos! Wishing you and your family all the very best!
Lexi's TH-cam is what made me download Tiktok, and both of the communities there have been a wonderful resource to find healing and comfort in the unknown, as someone navigating a faith crisis. Grateful for her story!
Thank you for all the different people who come on your program. I joined the Mormon church 12 years ago. Due to Covid I watch church services over zoom. When I joined the church I was stunned by my sister. Your podcasts help me.
Thank you both for making this video. I've been out for a while but only recently started delving into other people's experiences leaving. It's wonderful to know I'm not alone in the hurt TSCC has caused and I'm not alone in the hurt a faith crisis causes. The bravery it takes to continue to speak out is so admirable and I appreciate you.
Lexi is Fabulously informative. I don’t know about Mormonism personally, but I do know Some about Catholicism and some Protestant religions, and they are all the Same with different rituals, outfits, beliefs, easily dissected. My son told me at 11 that he didn’t want to go, later told me he felt it was child abuse because of inflicting lifelong guilt, like Lexi’s anxiety. I wisened up, and he told me after he quit church he felt so much closer to “God.” I Love Lexi. 🥳👏🏻❤️
[Lexi is Fabulously informative.] Give anybody 4 hrs and they can be more fabulously informative. [I don’t know about Mormonism personally,] The RC church claims to have carried its authority from Peter (a continuation) but it didn't. The reformed churches all claim that reading the bible gives them their authority, but it doesn't. The new styles just say authority is unnecessary (if you have a guitar and catchy songs, you can get a following), but God runs the show, not men. The LDS are the 'Restoration' of his authority and true doctrine; the only church with power to exalt a person. It happened when both Father and Son called Joseph Smith to restore the original Gospel, and by their fruits you can know it. [but I do know Some about Catholicism and some Protestant religions, and they are all the Same with different rituals, outfits, beliefs, easily dissected.] You have seen their fruits. You have about 45,000 more to wade through. [My son told me at 11 that he didn’t want to go, later told me he felt it was child abuse because of inflicting lifelong guilt, like Lexi’s anxiety.] Do you think if your son went anti against one of them, it has to be untrue on his terms? [I wisened up, and he told me after he quit church he felt so much closer to “God.” I Love Lexi.] Are you wise enough to know he really isn't? Lexi doesn't believe in God at all. I will alert you to a pattern; when people go apostate, the bulk of them scatter to many differnt cults in those 45,000 choices, but after a small season, a lot then go completely atheist. Lex did it, herself. When they have a brief time in a cult, they never tell social media which one it is. God does not tell people which church is not true without telling them which church is. These are the dross leaving the kingdom; it is spoken of in the Parable of the Sower.
Some may view wearing temple clothes as being disrespectful to mormons. You know what I find disrespectful... taking 18 years of my life. Wasting time, energy, and money on a church built on provable lies. If you take all that from me and get mad at us for wearing your sacred lies... I DON'T CARE. How we work through the BS you put us through is up to us!!!!
@@gunnerlawts I see you are looking at all my video views and now my comments. I must have really got to you. I will enjoy my time in the sun... for all I know that is all there is. If there is a God (I hope there is) I have no problem standing in front of him.
@@coffeedrinkingisnotasin6049 I will leave you to think that you have irked me in some way, if that pleases you. Please, after the judgement, can we meet? If we are both obliterate I will not be requiring it, but then - our whole lives were utterly wasted to the point that they are as good as never even happened. BTW, what do you mean by "my video views"? Did you make videos, or what is the context?
Just so you have a positive comment too, I think you've got the complete right attitude. Do whatever it is that helps you get to where you need to get to. They made it a part of your life for 18 years so you have every right to use it to not make it a part of your life for the rest of yours! I felt so much freer when I left my religion behind and it wasn't anywhere near what I read and see in these videos. Good luck and enjoy all that life has to offer you!
I am not nor have I ever been Mormon but I started following Exmo Lex around the time she started her TH-cam videos. I've seen her grow over that period of time. I listened to every last word of this Mormon Stories and found it very interesting. My sister was briefly a Morman following the death of her husband when they were in their early 20's I am so glad she left the religion after just a short time! By learning from ExMo Lex, I became interested in Mormon Stories, Zelph on the Shelf, and a few other podcast presenters. Now Nuancehoe will also be in my list of liked videos. Thank you for all you do to support people who have left their faith.
No matter how many docs and vids I watched on Mormons, it didn’t even come close to the information obtainable here in these long form interviews. This channel is the only way to fully understand it w/o having been in or around it
Lexi, it's people like you and John who DO articulate feelings so well and really help me process the guilt and shame I feel over raising my family in the church and realizing now how much damage was caused. Thank you for your bravery and honesty.
I'm currently where you're at with the CES letter. I started losing faith over the year in organized religion but not my belief system. I started deconstructing watching LDS stuff. Now I'm looking at Pentecostal stuff. I'm constantly crying and stressed and in paid. I'm having memories I've tried to black out coming back around. My PTSD that hadn't been trigger in year is triggering super easy. I feel like I have no idea who I am anymore now that my whole world's foundation isn't real.
I love today’s podcast, it is about the facts of life and I mean real live,life is good. Thank you very much, you are opening the eyes with what you are telling us
That October 2018 Dallin Oaks talk was my final shelf breaker. It felt like such a slap to the face. “Truth is truth, and Im right because god said so, and btw your gender is invalid because truth is truth.”
Apologists huge lament is the idea of “exmos leave the church but they can’t leave it alone.”This is why, these stories fuel our outrage. The church has damaged us in ways that TBMs will never understand until they step through the prison gates and look back. I love Exmo Lex and Nuancehoe! Another great one, John!
I live in Benjamin UT and yea it's still rural AF! Cool to know you came from the same place. Lol I bet you know my finances parents. They lived in Mapleton. Small world. Smaller LDS world. Lol Love ya Lex!
In my family, we (the females) were taught that getting an education is important because what happens if your husband dies. Your college degree was always just a backup plan.
LexI you are a lovely person. Your inner light shines. Your husband selected an excellent woman for his wife. Your videos were the first ones I listened to. Please continue them. You do help others who are in a religious crisis. God bless,and best wishes.
I feel like I should know Lexi. I also grew up near Benjamin, my grandparents own cattle in there and some aunt and uncles live there. I also did 4H at the church there too. Such a small world.
As one of those non-religious people (but spiritual), I watched all 4 hours of this and found it SO fascinating! I'm so happy you all got out of that cult! I'll never look at Donny and Marie the same again. lol
This guy is literally the best interviewer on TH-cam hands down...he fully listens to his guests and doesn't interrupt them or try to be the center of attention.
Ps: he also asks the best questions...this is what all youtube podcasts should be like!
He may have a skill, but which church is true is independent of that.
I agree 1000% John is the greatest interviewer of all time
I have a low key crush on John. I want more John's in the world ❤️❤️❤️
@@sallyostling OK, if you promise not to hurt us.
@@sallyostling “more John’s??”
I hope you mean more “John Dehlin’s” because we don’t need anymore “Johns!” Almost every man’s name is John. It is the most common male name EVER
Me: I'm not watching general conference anymore because it's too long and too boring
Me watching all 4 hours of this video:
Priceless. Absolutely priceless comment!
And just like GC, it took me days to watch it all 😂
@@saucysoprano GC has been cut back by one session.
The difference between real people being their genuine honest selves and those who are who are not.
@@Dave-zx2im Those who are who are not. Classic! Let me guess? Real people who are not real people? Maybe genuinely honest who are not genuinely honest? Or is it genuinely honest who are not real people - aliens more honest than Earthlings, maybe? Who ties your shoelaces for you?
Lexie is one of the people that led me to leave the church. I remember being absolutely offended by her temple clothes video. I had a lot of doubts throughout my life but this was shocking to me. As time went on, I became so determined to justify my faith, which led to me falling down the rabbit hole. I watched her why she left the church video and saw a couple more things that made me curious and determined. That night I was up all night reading the whole CES letter. It opened my eyes. What she is doing is helping so many.
I remember thinking that she went too far with the temple-clothes video, but when I started looking at the comments, they were mostly positive and praising her for having the guts to reveal the truth. Person after person came forward and agreed with how ridiculous the temple ceremonies are (fig-leaf apron?), and nobody knew what they were getting into until it was too late to turn back. And it turns out that it's all stolen from Freemasonry and has nothing to do with God or the after-life anyway. And those who spoke out against it clearly ignored the numerous trigger-warnings that she gave before the video even started. I'm proud of you Rylee. It's not easy to admit that you've been conned your whole life. Most people just stick with it because they figure they've invested too much time and money into it to stop now, and who wants to be treated like an outcast by all of their friends and family for the rest of their life?
@@mylesmarkson1686 Thank you so much for your reply. It is a scary road so far, lots of tension within family, but I am hopeful it will all be worth it. I have absolutely loved the exmo community and how supportive we all are of each other. I don’t know if I would have taken the leap otherwise. :)
This comment made my whole day, thank you for sharing, Rylee! ♥️ Actually, would you mind if I shared this? I can crop your name out, if needed. 🥰
@@ExmoLex You absolutely can! ❤️ I would love for it to be cropped out with where I’m at at this point in my journey. :)
This is a really interesting post. I had a similar thing with being a Christian and discovering Dawkins. Sometimes you need a virtual slap round the face to wake you up to looking into things. I appreciate some might find it too much but for others it's actually a help.
Good luck Rylee and you'll do just fine. Like Lexi says in the video there are lots of cool ex's out there and lots of supportive people. Plus not having to carry all that stuff around anymore can be so freeing, you can enjoy all that life has to offer!
I don't know how you do it John but you make 4+ hours very easy to watch. Good job Lex and Kara.
I found Ex Mo Lex one year ago, her first video led me to the CES letter and the Mormon essays. The last year of my life has been a relief.
I request you to read a faithful reply to CES letter by Mr Jim Bennet
True happiness begins after Mormonism...
Agreed!!!!!
Inside job, no matter what religion or lack of religion you have.
Lexi helped me so much when I left the church last year. I’ve since walked away from my marriage and learned how to stand up for myself. It was so inspiring to watch her bloom into her true self as her TH-cam channel progressed. Thank you for giving me someone to look up to Lexi! ❤️
Lex was one of the first Exmo TH-cam Channels that I saw, her videos, as well as Johns and others, really helped me a lot in my faith crisis. Couldn’t thank you all enough!
Same!
What’s your channel about?
"If the church isn't true, my whole life is a lie." Yup.
Yup. I’m with ya!
Then you have to deal with all your friends and family who are still living a lie, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Yes, this was huge for me
Yes this is the scariest thing and almost kept me fully in
I’ve been feeling who can I trust in life? I don’t rust anyone anymore. Even look at my Mormon friends differently now.
I grew up with a lot of friends who were Mormon, and they were straight A students, super high achievers. I remember thinking these girls were going to be doctors and scientists or mathematicians. Then they all just stayed house wives and I was so confused. They had so much potential, and they would say that motherhood was a big enough job that nothing else would have room. Which shocked me, my Mom is a single mother of 5 kids and very accomplished in the medical field. As a young adult I have stried to understand my friends culter, i talked to so many missionaries, went to church with my friends...and all I saw was depression, sacrifice and pain. Now they have daughters and it is sad seeing that again another generation of women will be held back from achieving their potential. I still struggle to understand it...and I wish so much my friends could have been the scientists and doctors they wanted to be. Become the people we all talked about being as kids.
Wen Manatee,
I want to share a phenomenon that exemplifies your point. I am talking about the 14 million LDS from the Salt Lake City sect (mainstream) Mormons.
The boys and men never get a lesson on how to make bread with a store bought mixture of the ingredients and a $300 bread-making-oven machine.
By way of comparison, I can testify that from the years I was paying attention (1975 - 1995) the women in the USA were given a lesson on how to make bread this way about once a year.
Some women were content with the lesson, but other women were outraged by the lesson. The lesson sometimes made some moms feel guilty for not having either the time to make bread, or the money to buy the bread making machine.
I know one woman who quit the church for the reason I explained. I know several women who would be in anguish after the lesson, until they could no longer hold back the tears. The feelings of guilt (about failing to be a mom that made homemade bread) would turn to outrage.
I saw this happen in the state of California, state of Utah. It was ironic because the lesson was always given by women to women in Relief Society class.
Note: The machines were not a required purchase per church doctrine.
That always baffled me as well. Ive heard a lot of "oh cure to cancer" or whatever and then they just be a stay at home mom. Its fine if someone wants that but you're not going to find the cure to cancer or be the next great rocket scientist staying at home taking care of your kids.
As an exmo it enrages me too. I wanted to attend a music school like Julliard, but my father would only support me going to one of the BYU's. I fell into the get married and have kids at 20, but at 34 and 7 kids later found out all the truth about the Mormon church. The church is a POS.
I've seen that first hand.
@@randyjordan5521 everybody’s different… some Mormons really are great people. But most of them aren’t. Notice when Lex told the story about the RM assaulting her??
I went to the public charter school Lexi referenced early in the interview and was in Lexi’s year. I remember I was the school liberal and the school “homosexual,” before even I knew it, haha. She was always a fun, super kind girl. I guess we were all fighting our own internal demons rather ferociously those years.
Ex-mo Lex was one of the channels that gave me the courage to leave ❤️ love her channel and am so grateful for what she does.
I've never been a mormon or JW but I definitely follow ex mormon and ex JW stuff. Idk why I find it so fascinating but i do
Same here, Dannie. I was raised Catholic and it is equally as bad in many ways. I became fascinated with Mormon stuff when we were stationed at the A.F. base in Ogden and I worked with 19yo girls who were on fertility drugs after being married 6 months and not pregnant fast enough. It blew my mind!!!
Me too! It’s just so interesting and it makes me so happy to see people getting out and finding freedom.
Same here. I am in a progressive Jewish sect.
Nice to see that other people are so interested and I’m not a total weirdo 😃
Same!! I’ve been following ex Mormon stuff since attending my husband’s cousin’s wedding in 2017. I was so sad that her dad who wasn’t a member, couldn’t walk her down the aisle
2:49:20 "For those that say you left the church but you can't leave it alone." - I think the ultimate rebuttal for that is: If you're in a burning building, do you not knock on as many doors as you can, to wake people up - all in an attempt to save them? Is that not what neighbors do?
Excellent. Simply excellent comment.
Exactly
But that's the same logic religious people use to justify trying to "spread the word" isn't it? I mean I get what you're saying, and it FEELS l like I should help people see that they are brainwashed, but then I'm behaving the same as them.
@@jamesm1580 it's all about making sure all the information is out there. Lies and deception from either side will not do. I'm not anti-church. I'm pro-truth. If my stance on truth is at odds with your religion, broadly speaking here, that's not my problem.
@@mindeloman Then it's not really a good analogy to equate it to knocking on doors to save people during a fire. Bc just making sure the information is out there is very different than actively trying to persuade people that what they believe isn't based in any provable truth. I guess it would be more accurate to equate it to making sure there is information on what to do during a fire and how to stay aware of potential fires hanging up in the building so hopefully they see it.
I love everything you are saying...all of you...I especially liked it when Lexi said, "If your church is true, then we shouldn't be a threat!" So simple and so true! Love you guys!
I love the addition of a another person to the podcast. I love hearing her thoughts and dialogue! 🖤
"Let me be resurrected with the apostates, whether I ascend to heaven or descend to hell, or go to any other place. And if we go to hell, we will turn the devils out of doors and make a heaven of it.
" Love you, Lex and John!
Atheist here..I will probably steal this quote.
No, I plan on stealing this.
Nice one.
What Lexi says about the boys not looking up to us for our maturity was so real. Women are held accountable for the actions of men.
I am Soooo glad that Lex did not keep quiet. For people like me, her buoyant stories and perspectives bring light and happiness into a part faith-holding marriage. It keeps me from sinking into utter despair. Please keep up the good work - you two ARE my community!
About time John!!!!!! This girl is giving exmos some seriously well needed therapy! Love her!
So very true! Listening to her is therapy for the heart, the mind and the soul. 🤗
Weird to see Lex in a setting that isn't the driver's seat of her car ;) but she did awesome and her story is amazing and powerful.
She must be on the same wave length as Julie Rowe. Doing stuff in the car.
-Dep
She's gonna drive away from the haters one day
As a mother, I called my daughter out on FACEBOOK for wearing leggings! I took a picture of her and asked everyone's opinion of what they thought. I'm mortified now that I did that to her.
Just make sure to tell her you’re sorry now. You’ll be harder on yourself now then she will. ❤️
@@BoyMama87 yes we've talked about it and she is her own person and wears what she wants. We left the church together best thing I ever did! I've only been out 4 years and I'm still struggling with the anger. I would've been a totally different mom if I hadn't been trying to live all the mormon laws and expectations. My daughter and I still struggle in our relationship but it's getting better. But by the time we left she was 17. So all that fighting about clothing, morals, etc could've been avoided. She was definitely a round peg I was trying to squeeze into a square of perfection.
We've all done mortifying things, back when we didn't know any better. We've got to learn to forgive ourselves.
I can imagine how sad you must feel. The indoctrination from the church makes us feel that those things that we did were right and virtuous! So good for you for leaving the church! That’s a tough journey! 💗
@@happix-mo4441 at least you're on a path to get closer to each other....
Young girls and women being.blamed for boys/men’s immoral thoughts made me hate my body.🤬
I had a fear of men that I've had to work to get over. My dad literally said boys/men were "sex monsters" on more than one occasion. I didn't date in high school because I was scared of them. Wasn't until I left that I realized why I was so scared of men all the time
Lexi was my first ExMo creator I found, and she lead me to Mormon Stories and every other channel and podcast
I agree with Lex that worse than the contents of the CES Letter is the fact that the Church lied about it for decades, destroying limitless relationships.
How did the church lie?
@@suzannedehaven6775 The most overt and broadly participated lie was denying that JS was a treasure seeker, But if you want to learn how systematic it is read the biography of the Church's Historian Leonard Arrington. Even today, the Church misrepresents JS's treasure seeking activities in their essay and 2015 Ensign piece.
@@kentthalman4459 how can he be a treasure seeker at the age of 14? Especially back in that day..
@@suzannedehaven6775 I don't believe JS started scrying for treasure until around 15 or 16. Read Magical World View. In that book you will read about JS's interaction with Sally Chase and other scryers. You will also read how JS groomed and promoted his craft that eventually led to people hiring him to scry for treasure.
@@kentthalman4459 right..he was called the "the boy prophet " ..
I'm an exjw and a subscriber to Lex and Mormon stories. It never ceases to amaze me how similar our ex cults
cults are. Same crap, different details. Thank you to Lex and yo John💚
McKay, another ex-mo TH-camr, called it: “same pig, different farm.”
I couldn’t stop laughing when I heard him say it.
@@nsifonte The pig had to have moved. lol
@Rusty Shackleford [I fluctuate with my identity but generally I consider myself an ex-Catholic/lapsed Catholic.] Is there any other kind? It's getting to be all that way. [It’s more cultural for me because I’m an Irish American descended from refugees and who’s family came from Ulster.] Has nothing to do whith which church is true.
[But, lot of the issues in Mormonism broadly remind me of issues the Catholic has had from buying your way into heaven to sexual predators in positions of power.] Some Omega watches remind me of some Rolex watches, but they need more than just reminding.
[Ie Jesus Christ] You sound more French than Irish.
[discovering his father was a pedophile] When did le Jesus discover that?
[and Lexi talking about the rapist Bishop.] Reminds me of RC Bishops, lol.
[I mean Joseph Smith was a pedophile.] Reminds me of RC Bishops, lol. But seriously, the rapist LDS Bishop is almost certainly true, and he is probably alive to defend himself, if he cares to. However, JS is dead for more than 150 years, and to accuse him of such things says more about the accuser than it confirms about Smith. He was never a ped, and history proves it. Since his death, there have been many of Satan's minions lying that he was, but their chances to prove it went when they murdered him. Too late, then (that was deliberate), and 180 years too late now; any cretin who makes the claim is a scumbag who doesn't realise they can't escape an interview with him and the God who called him to be his prophet. Now you sound more like an Irishman, lol.
Is there an equivalent to Mormon stories and John Delin in the exjw community? I’m really curious and would love to listen and compare.
2:48:35 a couple years after I returned home from my mission I was friending former missionaries in my mission on Facebook and I noticed one of the sisters was now an atheist. So being the good ex missionary I was I sent her a Facebook message and I politely bore my testimony to her and told her that I don’t judge her for her thoughts and choices but just wanted to let her know my testimony. 🤦♂️She kindly replied and said she knew what I was doing she understood and she was happy with her decisions.
Fast forward almost 12 years later when I have gone down the rabbit hole and discovered many things that I had not known for 40 years I realized that I needed to send her an apology, so I did in that same thread and she was taken back and shocked but happy to hear that I had discovered things that were kept from me for four decades as a member.
I'm so glad I found Exmo Lex. I was a convert and had a huge Mormon Convert Honeymoon.... until the church told me that I had to wear garments after I went through the Temple. Then things went down hill from there. I then learned about the priesthood ban and then so many other "secrets." I felt betrayed by those I was taught by, and stupid that I didn't look further into the church. Finding Exmo Lex helped me realize that I was not stupid and not to blame. Thanks Lexi!
Silly question but .....what are "the garments" it almost feels like a mideval chastity belt contraption?
@@jenniethomason8840 Sacred underwear (totally factual claim) and yes they are a chastity implement.
Lexie you are a delight to listen to. I have 5 children raised in the church and waited 30 years before getting a divorce so that my children could be raised by both parents. I’m grateful that I joined the church in the late 60s because I loved the friends I had in the church, I loved going on a mission (my first area was Lake Tahoe), and loved my BYU experience. My first temple experience was when I went into the mission home and it was terrifying and had the worst tension headache I ever had having never had a headache before. Slashing my throat during the ceremony caught me totally off guard. Unfortunately with the pressure to get married at BYU I married a 19 year old who was also pressured to get married and it was very challenging for 30 years. Once we had 5 children in 7 years our focus was on our children and not on our differences that allowed us to stay together for 30 years. During the whole time I was often criticized by my wife about my music or watching football on Sunday (what do you expect being raised in Texas and going to Cowboy games since being 8 yrs old). I would do it all over again because of the tremendous love I have for my children. Having been away from the church for 15 years now I am happily married to a very loving spouse. I have no bitterness towards the church because I was deceived by those who were also deceived. I have had 2 spiritual experiences that have given me an absolute knowledge that life extends beyond this life. Having these experiences were not based on any element of righteousness on my part and never thought of them being possible. Not sure where to go with this knowledge but I would certainly be atheist without them. I am much happier not being a member of the church. Not sure how many days or years I have left because I have 2 types of incurable cancers but grateful I know I’m not headed to outer darkness now.
Keep up the good work you are doing now. I hope to share some of your videos with my children.
She worded it perfectly when she said Mormonism was taught to her just as reality, not as beliefs. That's the best way to eloquently and concisely explain it. My friends will ask me the same questions, how did you believe this stuff, did you ever doubt? And the answer is just a simple no. I didn't know that was even a possibility lmao.
Did you ever validate the guff? No.
As an ex-Mormon, ExmoLex is my favorite TH-cam channel for ex-Mormons! This young lady is so articulate, intelligent and loving. Love you Lexi! Love you too John and your channel.
I joined the church late in life and have left seven years later. However, growing up I went to many different churches and remember from them and my parents that I would see my family in heaven and they would meet me at the Pearly Gates. So even though I've left the church, the Terrestrial Kingdom has always reminded me of the Heaven I knew from my childhood.
Wow! My poor husband got the same treatment from me, he was so nuanced, pretty happy. We married in our 60’s, and I was 100% over the top, suffering with religiosity and I made our marriage a living hell for him. Now he wishes I could be like him and stay in but ignore the stupid rules. But I can’t. He does love that I’m so much kinder, loving, relaxed, and just mentally healthier. I’m so grateful we stuck it out.
I connected so much with Lexi talking about her perfectionist expectations in the first years of her marriage. I noticed a similar trait in many of the women I encountered or tried to date in the LDS singles wards. I was often left with the feeling that the true version of me was considered unworthy of marriage or relationships because I had flaws and imperfections. Only the perfect priesthood holders who did everything right and had impeccable finances were marriage material. The church grooms couples to set crazy expectations for what each other needs to be to be exhaled. In my experience, those perfectionist expectations stopped relationships from even having a chance get started. I’m still trying to learn how to feel okay about myself and have confidence in being worthy of love because of it.
I'm sorry you went through that.
I felt the same way..could never really live up to all the expectations..
Thank you for not keeping your mouth shut. You and other ex mo’s in cyber space are my only support these days and it really is comforting to me. It’s eye opening in that I’m an adult convert from Los Angeles, 68 years old, and I didn’t get how similar a lot of things I’m unraveling are to your own journey. We came up from different worlds but wow! My little sister from another mother 💜 I’m grateful for you
John, thank you. You are literally the best interviewer I’ve ever heard. You don’t dominate the conversation…ever! You let your guests tell their stories. I grew up in a super supportive church that encouraged criticism and questioning. I have never been Mormon, but my heart is so encouraged to hear that there are survivors. A friend I had committed suicide because of getting abused by a minister in their Mormon “church.” I’m continually amazed by these people. Thank you for letting them share their stories. It is therapeutic for me to listen. Again, I have never been Mormon, but I’m grieving my friend. This is helping me process my emotions. Thank you.
I think this has to be my favorite interview. Lexi explains so many things that I struggle to explain to family members regarding why I can't just 'leave it alone and keep my mouth shut.
I was 'inoculated' against most of the things in the CES Letter growing up....critical thinking skills still won out. Thanks to everyone for this epic Mormon story!!
The CES Letter is full of questions. Nobody has answered, so where does your critical thinking come from?
@@gunnerlawts Okay, I'll bite. My critical thinking skills helped me realize that no apologetics actually *can* answer those questions, because logically the only explanation for so much discrepancy is that the church is built on a bunch of falsehoods. It's like someone claiming they can predict when it will rain, but they say it will rain every day. Do the days it does rain prove them true more than the days it doesn't rain prove them false? The believer and the skeptic will forever be at odds on that one!
@@jexitheguru [Okay, I'll bite. My critical thinking skills helped me realize that no apologetics actually can answer those questions, because logically the only explanation for so much discrepancy is that the church is built on a bunch of falsehoods.] That isn't critical thinking - it's drawng a conclusion that a certain number of unanswered questions (determined by yourself) makes them proof the church is false. Utter nonsense!
[It's like someone claiming they can predict when it will rain, but they say it will rain every day.] No it's not - that person is answering every day. BTW, my dad used to say it will either rain or go dark before morning. He was never wrong.
[Do the days it does rain prove them true more than the days it doesn't rain prove them false?] It's not a count. But the answer is the nut can't predict when it will rain. You should have enough critical thinking to figure out why.
[The believer and the skeptic will forever be at odds on that one!] No, the intelligent and the fool are at odds on the rain predictor.
Thank you all for what you do! I’m an ex SDA, I have friends who are currently LDS and I wanted to better understand them. It’s a family, one who is a president. Thank you for your knowledge and sharing of it!
I am a nevermo and have never met an LDS member here in Austria but I gobble up everything that is exmo Lex. What a great vocation in life she has.
Lexi is an amazing speaker. Genuine, perceptive, and kind.
All those years of giving talks in church did some good for her after all!
I love the message that we are all "worthy". That word is so abused by the L.D.S. Church and we're taking it back!
Laughed at you singing hate mail to hymns; Genius!
The hate mail hymns were hysterical.
Yayyyyyy finally!!! I was so excited to see that Lexi was getting an interview on Mormon stories! She is an incredible person 😄👏👏👏
I’m so grateful for Lex! I left in 2003 but sat silently with all the trauma and hurt and separation from my family… until 2020 when I found so many ex Mormon content creators who helped me finally begin to deconstruct the religious trauma. Now I’ve been in therapy for over a year, made the hard decision to cut certain family members out of my life for good, and I’m actually beginning to heal. So so grateful. Wouldn’t have been able to get this far without you.
Between Lex, Jimmy, GMS, and Telltale they've reaffirmed why I left years ago. Started to have doubts again this last year or so and they reminded me what it was really like. There are days I miss the sense of community that came from the church but the hypocrisy, the judgement, the lies, and the control they exert over your life is all too much to handle.
So thankful for all you guys, it's nice to know we're not alone in our experiences.
Great interview, Lexi is so smart and well spoken. Loved the back and forth with Cara. It was like the relief society I never knew I always wanted.
When I was True Blue Mormon, I thought I loved my LGBTQ child - but I didn't notice the TBM voice constantly saying "Ex-communicate". I now find ALL people amazing and equal and my heart swells with true unconditional love. (yes, I said "unconditional", and now I know what that really means.)
Please help me to support young people like Lexi. I left the Church in 1989 and tried hard to get back into their good graces. Later I left a second time. It wasn't easy. I left long time friendships. Or they left me. Lucky for me I was a convert to the Church. I realize some "lifers" leave even their families! I still had my sister and my Mom who supported me wholeheartedly! When I see your utube videos I want to reach out and hug the people you are interviewing. I hope some sort of a support group evolves! I'm happily married. I'm 71 years old and I'm in a place to really enjoy my life!
Watching your videos really helped me internalize all the crazy thoughts and feelings I have had going through my faith crisis. They gave me the comfort to know that I'll be okay no matter what my family thinks once they find out. Thank you Lexi!
I’ve only seen the temple clothes twice. On her channel and on the tv series Big Love. It is so incredibly secret. The relationship between LDS temple stuff and Masonry is important for deconstructing the history of the church and it’s foundation. All of the original authorities were Masons and Masonic imagery is all over the SLC temple. I would like to see content exploring that relationship.
You do great work Lexi. Keep it up. Now 81, I dropped out in my soul, when I was pre-teen in the '50's. Hearing your journey helps me even though it was very different. You are a STAR!
I have learned alot from this young lady. I appreciate her honesty about something she believes so wholeheartedly in. That cant be easy.
I am making my way through all of these podcasts on Mormon Stories. As a recovering Catholic (and maybe organized religion in general), I totally am relating to losing my tribe. I love these talks, and I continue to learn a lot. My family was not religious really but some of the groups I belonged to in the Catholic church, singles groups specifically, were so fundamental. When I left the church, my "friends" were no longer there and would only associate with fellow Catholics. This isn't what I believe God and Jesus to be like. Jesus didn't segregate. But this is why your podcast is so relatable with your speakers. I can't talk to family about this, because they would think I am weird and we are a very reserved family anyway. I would be told just to get over it. It's hard with the depression and all that but it continues to get better. Thanks for posting these and the podcasts! I will try and support at some point financially as you do an amazing service for those leaving ANY organized religion and trying to find their way post these faiths! Thank you! Happy holidays!
Thank you rubyray!
I related so much to ExmoLex's story, from learning all the stuff the church hid all my life to my mom telling me to keep my mouth shut! Thanks for the interview Lexi and John, and keep up the good work!!❤️❤️❤️
Lex creates content that is so relatable. She is always so comforting to watch. She was a big reason that I began speaking out on Facebook, and created The First Quorum of the Twelve Apostates.
Thank you, everyone involved in making this podcast, for all the good you do.
Love this interview! Lexi and Jimmy Snow is what helped me to leave the church 🥰 I've been so happy since!
Me too!! They’re both awesome. At first i thought they were the adversary swaying me but when i actually left and started watching them again i realized how brave they are for speaking out when Mormons will view them as such. Both brave and intelligent
My sister in law told me that nothing in the temple would surprise me if I'd paid attention during sacrement meeting. Needless to say I was SHOCKED when I actually went through.
Yes! I devoured all of the temple prep content and asked multiple people questions before I got my endowments because I wanted to know what to expect and to feel like I was actually ready… and NO ONE could tell me anything.
@@angelenapulis9083
Watch this about Mormon Temple
th-cam.com/video/9ErdgY6FkxI/w-d-xo.html
@@annabellesmith4965 I respect and admire the people who do things like this so people actually know what goes on in the temple.
Yeah I mean have you never noticed how many secret handshakes abs code words you need to know to be allowed to take the sacrament? And remember when the women had the promise to obey their husbands and ritually chant prayers in a prayer circle during the opening and closing prayers? I mean cmon now, how can you forget all this stuff lol?
@@johnhorner1969 n iv v
Thanks to everyone involved in this video. At first I thought "4 HOURS!!" But boy did that go fast. Thanks for sharing your journey. No matter what religion, it's not an easy journey out. Please continue your good work!!!
I thought the same thing after we finished recording! I couldn’t believe it had been four hours 😂
Same here but I loved it!! It never got boring.
I have never been religious but I was recommended an anti MLM video on TH-cam once and then I got into ex Mormon content and it’s all just so fascinating to me. And even as someone who has never been in a moderate to high control group I think it’s always good to listen to these stories and recognize the signs of these types of groups to protect myself in the future.
I have been out of the Mormon church for 10 years now, and I still have “Mormon” me, when I’m around family and friends who are LDS, and regular me lol.
Informed consent would cost the LDS Church money and membership. Bottom line.
No it won't..
@@suzannedehaven6775 lots of people would leave if they knew the truth
@@sarahcoomer4924 funny part is ,they know the truth but they choose to stay...everyone makes choices in this life,and it's up to them whether or not they want to stay or not...so for you to actually say what you said, is completely unfounded...because on some level it helps them to be a better person, it helps them to strive each and everyday to find peace &love and happiness in this negative world we all live in...btw..whatever you call truth..it probably helped you make your choice to leave the Mormon church and that's on you...not anyone else...just remember the Mormon church must be doing something right to have this many haters.....
@@suzannedehaven6775 LOL literally watch the video she talks about this point. like what do you think this comments gonna do make me repent and go to temple?
@@sarahcoomer4924 I am not gonna make you do anything...that's completely up to you,not anyone else..your life is between God and you...if you repent and take the steps to go back to the temple, that will be completely up to you if you do that...that is your choice...its not up to me or anyone else at that matter...its completely up to you to make that choice..you know right from wrong...you need to sort that out for yourself...religion and making choices is never a group thing...just like you made the choice to sin and leave the Mormon church, that's completely on you and no one else...
Everything Lexi describes about her Mormon upbringing, teen years, struggles and journeys out--so very like mine as a JW. So damaging.
Also mine, life and upbringing as a young earth creationist, literalist, fundamentalist, true and only church, baptist...seems all cults ring the same!!
It’s so ironic bc I hear Mormons say how weird and cult-like JW is when it’s literally the same experience
@@randyjordan5521 I have seen it, and a few of my friends are featured. It is a great piece.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE all of this!
Former (born-in) JW--and I love all three of these fantastic people.
I left the church in 2013. But ExMo Lex was a breath of fresh air in the Ex-Mo community. Was a huge fan of Flackerman and BroJake but their content dried up because there’s only so much doctrine out there to debunk. Once the doctrine is debunked you can’t re believe in Santa Claus. Lex offered a new “let’s just talk about being Ex-Mormon” channel, and it felt like so refreshing.
"You can leave the church but you can't leave it alone." This is why. I get they don't realise how hard it is to lose literally everything. A faith crisis and loss is the hardest thing (or at least one of them) any of us have ever had to go through and for many of us our families and friends have shunned us simply for learning the truth.
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. You shine so brightly. It’s you. ❤️
About time! Yes, she is awesome!
Thank you for all of your online content. I’ve recently left the church and have felt so alone but your presence on my social media has helped me feel so much less alone. So thank you so much lex 🥰
The gospel is for people who don't want to be alone in the eternities, but you will probably still have social media. Your choice.
It’s amazing as ex Jehovah’s Witnesses my wife and I can relate to so much of your story. It’s amazing how we could sit in a coffee shop together and feel like we really get you says a lot about cult indoctrination!!!
Just wanted to take a minute to add my one small voice to the discussion. I was never Mormon. I grew up evangelical Christian. I left it behind in 2016 after a long road of critical thought and doubt. I was always told/taught a lot of the problems with LDS church history. The CES letter is amazing. It solidifies and demonstrates a lot of what I learned about the problems with LDS church history. The secrecy in Mormonism was always a red flag. I’m so glad much of it is coming to light in the Information Age.
As a fellow apostate, from my own religion, I really enjoy these stories. Shared experience, even if it’s not from the same doctrine, is still enjoyable. Truth above belief is magnetic. Keep up the great work!
also, it has always confounded me how a religion that fought SO hard for religious freedom cannot allow that freedom to ANY other religion.
It's just because there were so many different types of Christian denominations at the time. Protestants had been brutalized so badly by Catholics they wanted to make sure state-sanctioned violence against Protestants would be impossible. In their OWN religion though, they'll shame people for believing anything else.
Ikr
Lexi you have an incredible amount of courage. I am not brave enough to put myself out there on the internet and say what I really think about the church. If I did, the anxiety and dealing with reactions from people would overtake me and be crippling to me. But thank you Lexi. It is helping me and so many others! You’re a source of support and strength we need so badly
Try Jesus for support and strength?
Losing your faith feels like learning that you’ve been living in the Matrix. All of your reality comes crashing down, and it’s devastating.
It gets better, I promise. I left at 16 and lost my parents, brothers, friends, my whole world. I’m still estranged from them 20 years later but being free from the church is worth it. Sending you love ❤️ Life is beautiful when you’re free.
Please don't loose your faith 🙏 these ppl don't want you to be happy.
@@dalipgupta8275 too late. I lost it 2 years ago and I’ve never been happier. A faith transition is like a drug withdrawal. Once it’s out of your system, life is infinitely better.
@@Zia_l8r probably only this life is happier ... 😢😢😢
This is the analogy I used with my wife when I told her recently I’m going through a faith transition. I told her I wish I could jus go back to taking the blue pill and believing in the church. But I’ve been red pilled and realize the entire framework of my reality is based on deceit and lies and I can’t ignore it. It sucks but you must face the music after you take the red pill.
Omg when you guys were talking about how the Mormon church does ads on your videos all the time I got an ad from them! 😂 I almost thought it was a joke that you put in there literally right after you said that!
This is such a great interview. Thank you Lexi for sharing your life journey. I have very much related to your pain and feeling of a lost identity when I realized I was living in a lie created by the church. Our family was going through it in late 2018 as well. It really hurts and like you said unless you have gone through it, lds members can't understand. Thank you for being opened on so many levels and I am so sorry for the sexual assault that happened to you. You are an amazing woman and thank you for helping others! Our family has been enjoying your videos!
Wishing you and your family all the very best!
Lexi's TH-cam is what made me download Tiktok, and both of the communities there have been a wonderful resource to find healing and comfort in the unknown, as someone navigating a faith crisis. Grateful for her story!
This whole thing was like an extended therapy session!! Enjoyed every minute.
Thank you for all the different people who come on your program. I joined the Mormon church 12 years ago. Due to Covid I watch church services over zoom. When I joined the church I was stunned by my sister. Your podcasts help me.
Thank you both for making this video. I've been out for a while but only recently started delving into other people's experiences leaving. It's wonderful to know I'm not alone in the hurt TSCC has caused and I'm not alone in the hurt a faith crisis causes. The bravery it takes to continue to speak out is so admirable and I appreciate you.
Lexi is Fabulously informative. I don’t know about Mormonism personally, but I do know Some about Catholicism and some Protestant religions, and they are all the Same with different rituals, outfits, beliefs, easily dissected. My son told me at 11 that he didn’t want to go, later told me he felt it was child abuse because of inflicting lifelong guilt, like Lexi’s anxiety. I wisened up, and he told me after he quit church he felt so much closer to “God.” I Love Lexi. 🥳👏🏻❤️
[Lexi is Fabulously informative.] Give anybody 4 hrs and they can be more fabulously informative.
[I don’t know about Mormonism personally,] The RC church claims to have carried its authority from Peter (a continuation) but it didn't. The reformed churches all claim that reading the bible gives them their authority, but it doesn't. The new styles just say authority is unnecessary (if you have a guitar and catchy songs, you can get a following), but God runs the show, not men. The LDS are the 'Restoration' of his authority and true doctrine; the only church with power to exalt a person. It happened when both Father and Son called Joseph Smith to restore the original Gospel, and by their fruits you can know it. [but I do know Some about Catholicism and some Protestant religions, and they are all the Same with different rituals, outfits, beliefs, easily dissected.] You have seen their fruits. You have about 45,000 more to wade through.
[My son told me at 11 that he didn’t want to go, later told me he felt it was child abuse because of inflicting lifelong guilt, like Lexi’s anxiety.] Do you think if your son went anti against one of them, it has to be untrue on his terms?
[I wisened up, and he told me after he quit church he felt so much closer to “God.” I Love Lexi.] Are you wise enough to know he really isn't? Lexi doesn't believe in God at all. I will alert you to a pattern; when people go apostate, the bulk of them scatter to many differnt cults in those 45,000 choices, but after a small season, a lot then go completely atheist. Lex did it, herself. When they have a brief time in a cult, they never tell social media which one it is. God does not tell people which church is not true without telling them which church is. These are the dross leaving the kingdom; it is spoken of in the Parable of the Sower.
The Bible says those who seek to be exalted shall be debased.
2:36:00 for eight years, I was quiet about me leaving the church and didn’t say anything until 2020.
ExMo Lex channel was one of the catalysts that inspired me to talk and criticize openly about Mormonism.
Wow, 8 years. That couldn’t have been easy. ❤️
Some may view wearing temple clothes as being disrespectful to mormons.
You know what I find disrespectful... taking 18 years of my life. Wasting time, energy, and money on a church built on provable lies. If you take all that from me and get mad at us for wearing your sacred lies... I DON'T CARE. How we work through the BS you put us through is up to us!!!!
When God finally judges, it's all up to God. Enjoy your time in the sun.
@@gunnerlawts I see you are looking at all my video views and now my comments. I must have really got to you. I will enjoy my time in the sun... for all I know that is all there is. If there is a God (I hope there is) I have no problem standing in front of him.
@@coffeedrinkingisnotasin6049 I will leave you to think that you have irked me in some way, if that pleases you. Please, after the judgement, can we meet? If we are both obliterate I will not be requiring it, but then - our whole lives were utterly wasted to the point that they are as good as never even happened. BTW, what do you mean by "my video views"? Did you make videos, or what is the context?
Just so you have a positive comment too, I think you've got the complete right attitude. Do whatever it is that helps you get to where you need to get to. They made it a part of your life for 18 years so you have every right to use it to not make it a part of your life for the rest of yours! I felt so much freer when I left my religion behind and it wasn't anywhere near what I read and see in these videos. Good luck and enjoy all that life has to offer you!
@@Simon-T. Positively crazy.
I am not nor have I ever been Mormon but I started following Exmo Lex around the time she started her TH-cam videos. I've seen her grow over that period of time. I listened to every last word of this Mormon Stories and found it very interesting. My sister was briefly a Morman following the death of her husband when they were in their early 20's I am so glad she left the religion after just a short time! By learning from ExMo Lex, I became interested in Mormon Stories, Zelph on the Shelf, and a few other podcast presenters. Now Nuancehoe will also be in my list of liked videos. Thank you for all you do to support people who have left their faith.
No matter how many docs and vids I watched on Mormons, it didn’t even come close to the information obtainable here in these long form interviews. This channel is the only way to fully understand it w/o having been in or around it
Lexi, it's people like you and John who DO articulate feelings so well and really help me process the guilt and shame I feel over raising my family in the church and realizing now how much damage was caused. Thank you for your bravery and honesty.
Raise them in a house, and what damage did they do to the church? lol
I'm currently where you're at with the CES letter. I started losing faith over the year in organized religion but not my belief system. I started deconstructing watching LDS stuff. Now I'm looking at Pentecostal stuff. I'm constantly crying and stressed and in paid. I'm having memories I've tried to black out coming back around. My PTSD that hadn't been trigger in year is triggering super easy. I feel like I have no idea who I am anymore now that my whole world's foundation isn't real.
She is the one who opened my eyes!
I love today’s podcast, it is about the facts of life and I mean real live,life is good. Thank you very much, you are opening the eyes with what you are telling us
That October 2018 Dallin Oaks talk was my final shelf breaker. It felt like such a slap to the face. “Truth is truth, and Im right because god said so, and btw your gender is invalid because truth is truth.”
Apologists huge lament is the idea of “exmos leave the church but they can’t leave it alone.”This is why, these stories fuel our outrage. The church has damaged us in ways that TBMs will never understand until they step through the prison gates and look back. I love Exmo Lex and Nuancehoe! Another great one, John!
Your shirt makes me smile, Lexi. You ARE worthy! ❤
I live in Benjamin UT and yea it's still rural AF! Cool to know you came from the same place. Lol I bet you know my finances parents. They lived in Mapleton. Small world. Smaller LDS world. Lol Love ya Lex!
In my family, we (the females) were taught that getting an education is important because what happens if your husband dies. Your college degree was always just a backup plan.
It’s crazy how much I relate to ex Mormon stories. I grew up in a Christian fundamentalist cult though so wasn’t a Mormon.
LexI you are a lovely person. Your inner light shines. Your husband selected an excellent woman for his wife. Your videos were the first ones I listened to. Please continue them. You do help others who are in a religious crisis. God bless,and best wishes.
I feel like I should know Lexi. I also grew up near Benjamin, my grandparents own cattle in there and some aunt and uncles live there. I also did 4H at the church there too. Such a small world.
I've been raised independent Baptist. The discussions on purity culture are gold.
Great interview.
ExMo rocks!
Mormon Podcast does amazing work.
As one of those non-religious people (but spiritual), I watched all 4 hours of this and found it SO fascinating! I'm so happy you all got out of that cult! I'll never look at Donny and Marie the same again. lol