How to be the Best Wedding Guest. Ever.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 มี.ค. 2018
- www.wolferandco.com/yt/18/che...
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Just a few quick tips on how to be the best wedding guest there ever was. A couple has picked you as one of their favorite people to surround them and love on them on their wedding day, so be present and enjoy it!
Huge shout out to WeddingChicks.com!
If you have more questions, give me a holler: www.jamiewolfer.com/contact or hello@wolferandco.com
I want to add some:
1. RSVP!! Please don't leave the wedding couple hanging, wondering if you're going to show up or not. This is SO STRESSFUL because it alters everything - the number of seats being paid for, the seating arrangements, the name cards, etc. Let them know as soon as possible whether you intend to show up or not.
2. If you've RSVP'd to come, COME! Short of an actual emergency, DO NOT NO-SHOW ON THE WEDDING COUPLE!! This is so hurtful!! It's insulting, and it means that they went out of their way to prepare for your presence, and you couldn't even give them the courtesy to show up. If for some reason you can't attend the ceremony (traffic, etc.), at least come to the reception if you told them you'd be there. Chances are, the wedding couple won't even know you hadn't been at the ceremony anyway.
3. If for some reason you can't come, ESPECIALLY after you told them that you can, PLEASE LET THEM OR SOMEONE KNOW!! And do it as soon as you are aware. This is just common courtesy and respect. Don't take up a seat that could go to someone else. Do not make them pay, the often exorbitant costs, for your presence, and then not show up.
4. Please don't hold it against the wedding couple if they can't devote a bunch of their time to chatting with you. There are many other people also vying for their attention, and they are probably also stressed out and exhausted. Just be cool.
5. If you can't bring a gift, that's fine. Wedding couples want YOU there, not your money/gifts/whatever. That said, a nice handwritten note or card in lieu of a gift should be expected. When the wedding couple is going through cards/gifts, it can cause a great deal of confusion if someone is missing (did they give one and we lost it?). It's a touchy subject, and no wedding couple wants to ask you if you brought something just in case you didn't. So, there will always be a looming question about whether or not you did bring something, and if they're making a social faux pas by not acknowledging it (in the event it was lost/misplaced).
6. If the wedding couple has sent out instructions or requests, please abide by them. For example, a "no high heels" rule does not mean "wear high heels if you feel like it". A "no pictures" rule doesn't mean "sneak some pictures in when you think it isn't obstructing the photographer's shots". Respect their wishes - it's THEIR special day, and you're invited to participate on THEIR terms.
7. PLEASE don't make the wedding couple feel bad for not inviting your significant other/kids/best friend/whatever. It's extremely expensive to pay for guests, and it's incredibly burdensome (especially for a budget conscious couple) to have to pay for additional people. It's also very stressful for the person planning (let's be serious here, this is usually the bride), when she feels like people are angry with her because she made the event adult-only, or whatever.
8. Please don't opt out of attending because you think you need to pay for a gift, etc. The wedding couple probably know that you aren't Bill Gates rich, so they are unlikely to hold it against you (especially if they love and care about you enough to invite you to their special day). I guarantee you that most wedding couples would rather you be there with no gift, than not there at all. Also, don't use the cost of a babysitter as an excuse not to come - spend your money on a babysitter instead of a gift, and show up to be there with them.
9. Please don't leave super early. It's incredibly rude to show up for dinner, and then peace out immediately after. The wedding couple *do* want to see you, and they also want a fun environment for their party (you were invited to a party, after all). It's sucky to find out that guests have bounced the moment they were fed.
10. I think this goes without saying, but DON'T OVERDRESS OR WEAR WHITE/OFF-WHITE/BEIGE/ETC.. You don't want to upstage the wedding couple. Again, this is about them, not you.
That's all I can think about right now.
Very well said!
Yes to all of this!!!
Yeeeeesssss!! And black polka dots on a white dress - IS STILL A WHITE DRESS
Tamaryn Gregan Hold up, it is?!?! I mean it doesn’t really look like any kind of bridal dress so shouldn’t it be fine?
@@ayeshaw2486 I’d say if there’s even a little white send the couple a picture and ask. Some couples say yes and some say no. It’s just nice to ask before you show up in it
Dude. I would love if all of my future wedding guests watch this before attending my events. If I had the balls, I'd email a link to every guest, but the aftermath drama may not be worth it.
I’m linking it on our website 😂
I would add if you see something going wrong that you can fix, just fix it and dont tell the couple it happened. At one friend's wedding another friend and I were the first to the reception from the church (the only 2 that didnt know the area so we didnt stop anywhere on the way - the local guests stopped at home to drop off programs/shrugs) and her sweetheart table was on fire - one of the candles had dripped on something flammable and the staff hadnt noticed yet. So I put it out with a glass of water while the friend I was in ran to grab the venue staff who completely reset and fixed the table getting rid of the burned items (luckily nothing special/irreplaceable) and the wet linens and made it look even better than it had all before the couple arrived. We didnt tell her til a couple weeks later when a photo someone snapped of me putting it out surfaced in a review of the venue from the wedding across the hall.
Ohh my goodness the dog thing, we had this issue at our wedding. Our wedding venue was out in the country side and dogs were allowed as the venue was also used as holiday accommodation. However people didn’t seem to see why bringing their dogs to a wedding probably wasn’t a good idea. We had to go round and specifically ask people NOT to bring their pets after I found out that some were planning to. However on the day one still turned up with a dog which was present in the ceremony and throughout the whole day. Worst part was I found out a few months later that it wasn’t even their dog, they were looking after it while the woman that lived next door to them was on holiday!! At that point I just had to take it as something I couldn’t change and refused to let it ruin my day.
I totally get the couple having their own pets involved because pets are part of the family, but that’s THE COUPLES pets! I don’t know why it was so hard to understand haha
Yes! It’s crazy how oblivious guests can be! I would also add two things that I’ve seen a lot:
1. If the couple have bought Polaroid film for cameras and have a table set up for guests to take photos (something I’ve seen at tons of weddings) and you have your kids with you, even if they’re teens, don’t let them grab a camera and go around taking photos... because nine times out of ten most of those photos will be of nothing and I saw this happen at two of my friends weddings and Polaroid film is too expensive to be wasted on photos of black and hands and feet and blurry stuff!
2. This was kind of mentioned but if at the reception you see the couple taking photos for like golden hour or in a cute little lounge area or where the lighting is good or something LET THEM TAKE ALL THEIR PHOTOS before you rush in to take photos of yourself with your friends or with them or something- ESPECIALLY if it’s like sunset where the lighting is going to change- look we get that you want nice photos in that lighting too but the most important thing is that the bride and groom get all the photos they want in the short pretty period of time with their paid for photographer without people around them taking selfies and photos too because they can’t wait till the couple is done. I’ve seen this way too much and it’s so annoying!
can you talk about a weekend wedding and how that might differ from a single day wedding?
For a weekend wedding, im talking about a hotel or airbnb rented for three days so the wedding is on one day, the day before is the bridal party luncheon and rehearsal dinner and after is a family brunch. Not the "we are having a three day reception" lol
she's everything!!! love this channel!!!
Great video. I’m going to my cousins wedding in 2 weeks and wanted to make sure I had all the etiquette down. I’m very thankful my siblings and I were invited considering it’s a no kids wedding and pretty much all of us are underage 😅
I would hope that all of my wedding guests know me well enough to not talk while I'm eating 😂 I'm am the definition of HANGRY! 😂
“I got you gurrrrrl” 🤣 This is my fave “morning show” to watch while I have my coffee and clean up!
My wedding guest rules: no judgement towards ANYONE. Pyjamas allowed, leaving early because you're tired fine, toast what you want.
I respect all you're saying but this is my perfect wedding
Honestly!! I want a party! I want to be embarrassed, I want to be emotional, I want people to embarrass themselves 😂
Right?! The wedding you are attending is not about you! It's crazy how rude guests can be. And for God's sake be aware of your surroundings. If the bride and groom are in the middle of a photo op or tradition, get the heck out of the frame! Go away! Thank you for this.
Jamie Wolfer Lol my niece was finally getting her first dance during her reception with her new hubby when they realized there was this girl standing behind her swaying along with them trying to carry on a conversation with the groom! We were all so shocked she hadn't noticed yet what an ass she was being. My niece finally had to tell him to get rid of her.
Uuuum... what???
If you drink PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. Know where your limits are and don't go over them. And for the love God if you know you should not be drinking, please don't. At the last wedding I went to there was a man who was drinking even thought he should not have been due to medical reasons, and he ended up passing out. Long story short he wasn't breathing for a good 3 minutes before the paramedics showed up. They closed off the area to work on him and it was 10 minutes of waiting and crying. He woke up but they took him to the hospital. He's okay now, thank goodness. Please please please control yourselves. If there is something you know you should not eat or drink, DON'T EAT IT. The bride and groom are already stressed enough. Please let them be able to enjoy themselves
I one hundred percent agree with the don't monopoilize their time one
You can believe that come the 6 month, 6 week, 1 week and 1 day before my wedding, I will be sharing this video for all to see and take the hint!
So Jamie, I have attended a number of weddings with my wife when she was my girlfriend as well as fiancé. I don’t dance at weddings (not counting slow dances) and I’m not into typical dance music. I am a rock and roller and I sing myself. Most of the dance music played at weddings doesn’t move me and I always thought that by dancing to it to please someone else, I wasn’t being true to myself. I have had therapy (before I was a therapist) addressing this and it has nothing to do with a bad experience. I was never laughed at. I am my own worst critic so someone has nothing on how I used to think of myself. When I used to go to clubs, I was young 18-22 and 1. Drinking and 2. Had an agenda. Now I don’t have either one of things because I’m sober and married. I know it’s a special occasion but not everyone dances. It’s not that I can’t. I can but I just don’t want to. People (guests) have had conversations saying I looked mopey at a couple of these weddings but I highly doubt the bride and groom saw me. They appeared to be too busy with everybody else to notice what I was doing. The dance floor is not a place for me. Sometimes I wish I didn’t feel like that but it’s a wallflower thing. I know there’s people out there like me who can identify. I admire people who can just go out on the dance floor and just shake it up at a moment’s notice.
Ideally the only electronic device in the ceremony space is the photographer's cameras, and if not the rest are on vibrate, nestled comfortably in pockets for the hour or two it takes.
"Walking into a cactus" 🌵 lol that would be me.
Love, love LOVE you Jamie! your quirks are funny AF! always make me smile. Will so be sharing this to FB closer to my day ;) oxoxo
This is so awesome. Way to go, guests!!
Jamie, I notice you often mention the DJ and dancing. My fiancé and I are not dancers. We don’t even want dancing at our wedding. It would be very non-traditional. No first dances, garter tosses, and not even a cake cutting. We’re not into those ‘it’s done because it’s always been done kind of traditions’. Do you have tips for people who want more of a fun, outdoor gathering than a traditional reception?
I'm usually a blast at weddings but thanks for the tips you rock!!!!
This is why i chose a long engagement.
Toasts during dinner is a best way to avoid 2 of those
Thanks for inviting me - good!
I am going to add this to my wedding website
I didn't know I needed this video until I saw it!
Thanks so much- your videos are helping me plan my pandemic wedding. I wish I could send this video to a few selected people but instead I am going to post it on Facebook and hope someone gets a hint
I was just mr wondering about this yesterday is you had a video like this!!? And it’s at the top of my recommended list( note, I have been watching your videos a lot)
Sending this to all my guests
Would it be wrong of me to post this on my wedding website?
I was just wondering the same thing... what did you decide?
@@samanthalouis7725 I’m getting married in 2022 and I’ve saved the link to add it to mine. If people are offended then good, it’ll save me some money by them not coming! 😂😂
My moms bridesmaid & maid of honour got super drunk at her wedding. Her maid of honour puked in the lounge area and my mom has to take care of her and her brides maid peed in their rental car 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Oh wow... I think your mum and my mum have the same friends 😂🤦🏻♀️
Is there a video around for how to be a good bride for your wedding planner? Asking for a friend...
Heyyy as a coordinator, if you catch someone shadowing the photographer, are you in a place to tell them not too? I was just thinking of when I get married eventually and how cringey it would be if my aunt or someone did that.
Don't toast unless your involved in the wedding or directly related to the couple
What's your opinion on Honeymoon Jars over wedding gifts?
Tacky. People will either give or not give money. It's up to the guest. Same with honeymoon funds. It's not the guests' responsibility to fund the honeymoon.
Hey love how to deal w self invited guest such as an ex wife 😂😂😂😂
Jamie Wolfer sound great
My sister-in-law plans to wear her wedding dress. On. My. Wedding. 🙄🤐 it's not even a simple weddinglike Cocktaildress, it's a full Cinderella bridal gown. But it's "the most beautiful dress she ever had", so she thinks it's appropriate :D
Jamie Wolfer i know, right? 😂 it's totally insane and so rude 😶
Why would anyone think that’s okay? lol
@Emily - would her mom be willing to talk to her and let her know just how inappropriate it is for you? Someone she respects and will actually listen to?
@@jencasey316 her mom is a very practial person and thinks it's a great idea, because it saves so much money 😂 but my fiancé will talk to her about it :)
@Emily Ko - I'm glad he is standing up for you! Its fine to save money by wearing something you already own as a guest - just not a wedding gown!
Are you supposed to buy a house or have a wedding first ?
What am i supposed to wear/not wear?
This is the first wedding I'm going to that I'm not in and NEVER have thought about what to wear before. But my cousins are all getting married and one is having a church ceremony and the other is having an outdoor backyard thing and I'm lost
Kathy Ciarelli whatever the invite says.. but NOT white or where white is the ‘main’ colour.
But just a dress or romper or suite that you feel comfortable and look good in
My partner and I argue over if cameras that aren't the professional photographers should be allowed in the ceremony. I just want a nice, tech free ceremony photos and videos and don't care whether his family need those personal photos to share to the world. He doesn't care because we live in a technology society and doesn't see my problem coz he just wants me to be in the moment and not have a care about my surroundings but this matters to me coz I know if someone is trying to take photos, they aren't paying attention to the ceremony and that makes me feel like I'm wasting money so I'm on the verge of just murdering him hahahaha
I am scared of what my guests will wear. I want to send a dress code.
Never ever post a picture of the bride on social media before she does.
When my ex husband and I got married, his mom's friend cut right into the top of the cake . My mom was horrified and his laughed saying, "well, too late now!" I really thought our moms were gonna come to blows...
maybe its my family and the way I was raised but I disagree with a lot of this. Please give a toast, no dinner won't be the only time I'm eating, please take photos, please bring your pets! I don't know my wedding is super casual at a water park and the photography is split between two family friends so...
brittany makrush well there’s always exceptions
The 5 people who disliked this photo ARE the bad guests, like the iPad photographers or random toasters lol
Don’t bring a gift? No I want gifts
If my pets aren’t involved in the wedding, please don’t bring yours😅
I disagree with don't bring a gift. It's expensive to move in with someone after getting married and any gift or free item, even money is helpful
“Even if you bite your lips like a middle age white guy”
I can't believe people actually bother the couple while they are eating. That's so awkward. It should be obvious they are enjoying their food and a little quiet moment. Plus shouldn't those guest be seated and focusing on their own food at this moment?
I really hope nobody does the annoying glass tapping thing.
I think all of these suggestions are good and really just common sense -- which is so uncommon these days. But stop with how much the bride & groom are paying for the wedding. It's tacky and sends the message that good guest behavior is contingent on how much the bride and groom spent per guest. Less affluent couples also deserve well behaved guests.