Indeed, including the STD/STI test which was probably a cover to determine if SHE had gotten something from one of her affair partners. She probably started cheating soon after the marriage upon feeeling trapped by it or something.
Op should've divorced her years ago, because sometimes people truly aren't worthy all the time and energy. And glad things ended well in the second story.
Sounds pretty much like she just magically changed personalities after marriage. Funny how often that happens in reddit stories where people have personality transplants out of the blue.
In hindsight she was probably cheating on him the entire time. She was most likely projecting her own feelings of guilt onto OP the entire time, and only when OP actually caught wind of this behavior did she make a flimsy excuse.
OP 2 got dog piled for no reason. He literally said he does one on one stuff with his bio son too, he just enjoys his time with step son in a different way because it's stuff he can actually relate to. My dad and I have some pretty wildly divergent interests, that doesn't mean I feel alienated because he doesn't get when I talk D&D or when he's absorbed in a basketball match.
Toxic masculinity. are you serious ? It's just that we have activities together. My nephew doesn't watch football, my niece loves football. Why shouldn't I take them with me when I'm at the stadium anyway. I set aside one day a month to pursue my hobbies. If someone else enjoys the same thing, I'll take him or her with me at any time.
I just ignore that crap when I hear it. It's usually coming from people who have no idea what they are talking about anyway acting like psychoanalysts. Toxic masculinity is basically just traits that are socially accepted as male (most specifically in western culture), which at the end of the day boils down to a social stereotype of western men portrayed in media, when real men have a range of hobbies regardless of being raised mostly by a female relative or not.
Toxic masculinity has something to do with certain traits that are socially accepted as being male, but it does not necessarily have to do with interests that men may have. To be brief, toxic masculinity is the idea of men forcing other men and young boys into a very specific box of what they can and cannot do, which then results in men not having the chance to be individuals and by individuals, I mean having their own interests outside of just what they're expected to be interested in. In this particular case, this is not an example of toxic masculinity and you are correct about that. The reason why it is not an example of toxic masculinity is because at no point do we hear the father's saying that he hates the things that his son is interested in because he doesn't think that they are appropriate for a boy to be interested in. That's literally the requirement when it comes to deciding whether or not something is toxic masculinity. When someone, whether it be a man or a woman decides that a man or a boy having an interest in XYZ or behaving in XYZ manner is inappropriate because it is something that is Unbecoming of a boy or it weakens a boy in some kind of way or it is not a masculine thing. And yes it is a real thing because you can actually hear men talk about this concept without even realizing that there is a term for it. Understand, in the cia, there was an issue with a lot of Agents committing suicide because of the stress of their job, the majority of agents are in fact male. So as a solution, they did make therapists available in the office for agents to go to. Then Lo and behold, the Agents then refused to go because it then became a workplace thing that if you went to a therapist for work-related stress, you were seen as weak and inferior by the other male agents because the female agents didn't care if you went to therapy or not. Veterans talk about having a similar issue when it comes to issues of things like PTSD when you get out. Understand how many male veterans, especially those who fail at committing suicide, admit that they felt embarrassed having to go therapy or to get medication because the thought it made them look weak and that they're not supposed to show emotion and that they're supposed to be able to bottle it up and keep it pushing to show how strong they are. So yes, it does have something to do what's behaviors that are socially expected of men, but it is simply when men are either taught or forced do push aside interests or behaviors that are completely fine just because they do not fit some arbitrary standard of what it means to be a man
@@JoeyMarx Very well said. The term is thrown around and misused so much that I'm tempted to ignore anyone that says it, but that doesn't mean it's not a thing, and you described it extremely well.
@@mnomadvfx It's about the comment someone wrote on story 2. What toxic means and what masculinity means is clear to me, all you Harvard professors. The comment just didn't fit. Just because I watch sports doesn't make me toxic. Do you see the thousands of women in the stadium? Everyone has their hobbies that they try to pursue in addition to their everyday life, it doesn't mean that they throw out their family on the weekend, but everyone also tries to find their balance between everyday life and fun. As I said, pursuing the child's interests is a priority, but you should also have your own hobbies
Omg story 2 pissed me the F off. Reddit commenter gotta be the stupidest people out here. Clearly didn’t read the part on the actual post where he says he takes his son out to do things he enjoys. People just love to bash men for any reason they can find
When i hear toxic masculinity and bianary, i immediately know that its full of shit. Like the comment do not justify and calling him TA for bring his stepson to the game without mistreating his own son is just wild.
Plus OP clearly said that he does do things his son likes, such as concerts and stuff. Honestly I don't think these people actually completely read the post.
"People just love to bash men for any reason they can find" *feminists love to bash men for any reason they can find, as almost certainly the person who couned the term was a feminist. Only they could label all stereotypical behaviors, hobbies and interests of men as toxic, even though that stereotype is mostly derived from mens portrayals in western media rather than statistics.
Oh yeah, it was absolutely absurd. Not only is he doing one on one things with his son which seem out of his comfort zone but he's being a proper male role model for a boy who's never had one. The dude is obviously a great father.
NTA She let her own jealousy and lack of trust for OP ruin their marriage. Therapy could’ve worked if she chose to hear out OP and allowed him and the therapist to help her with her jealous tendancies and accept the fact that she was wrong.
@@el_lovesyou it's not serious at all. I just think it is weird hearing a story about an emotional abusive cheater and thinking,'I better clarify that she is in the wrong'.
Story 2: A lesson in how what could be a big problem between step siblings is easily solved by just having a conversation, asking questions, and actually listening to the answers. No bad blood, just to step sibs who just did not quite know how to break the ice with each other, and now, are better than step siblings, they are on the road to becoming best mates. What a wholesome resolution to the story.
My beginning opinion for the first story will add after opinion once finished: it seems like she just wants an excuse to cheat. My after opinion: yeah no I was right she Definitely just wanted an excuse to cheat in him
Second story was so sweet, the comments were completely wild seeing as OP mentioned in his post that he does things with his son that his son likes but not sure if it was added after those comments. Glad it was a simple situation of both boys being too shy to ask to hang out with each other.
It’s Reddit they have to put meaning in a situation that doesn’t have any real issue. All the op had to do was talk to his kid and see if they can find something to do together and find some type of understanding. Also him being a mamas boy doesn’t mean he’s “effeminate” or “girly” thus causing the whole “toxic masculinity” argument that people threw up in the air. Yes mark is a mamas boy but op never said he wasn’t doing guy things, nor did op shame his kid for not being interested in “guy stuff”
First time I've seen it in one of these reddit stories thankfully. If they start becoming a regular fixture that's where I get off. I can just about put up with the motion sickness inducing minecraft bouncing simulator, but feminist social engineering psychobabble is where I draw the line in blood.
It is a buzzword that does not mean anything. It is used to shame guys for having typical masculine interests and confidence. Everything else that is trully toxic has nothing to do with masculinity. Iti s not a gendered thing. Being an asshole is not a gendered thing, being a bigot is not a gendered thing. Most of the things the buzzword is being used for is not a gendered thing. You can easily find a woman that does this as easily as anything women complain about. The issue is that: 1. Men complaints are not taken seriously, sometimes even dismissed. That is why you dont hear about it but if you stop and think you know atleast 2 or more incidents where if roles were reverse it wouldnt be ok. 2. Woman complaints are taken too seriously, and society is like a simp that is ready to catter to woman.
@@s1os2s3 I believe this "toxic masculinity" BS stems from broken families & children raised by damaged single mothers (often with multiple children who have multiple fathers...) ...whilst there are obviously variables, many women that have multiple children with multiple fathers have skewed view's of men in general. These damaged women subconsciously follow a pattern with equally damaged men & create children which they then damage...& the cycle continues... Sadly when a damaged person becomes involved with a non-damaged person (per say)...they invariably project their generationally inherited trauma (from their own upbringing/environment) because they don't know any other way ...
I don't understand why the original poster stayed with this person for so long to the point of marriage because I know for a fact anybody accusing you of cheating are the type of people that have already cheated on you and on top of that they're just trying to justify the fact that they might have already cheated because they're guilty this is showing
Story 2, I love that all the comments showed kept saying "you need to do stuff with your bio son cause you're obviously abandoning him" when the op literally said he does do things his bio son likes and he doesn't.
2nd story...am i the only one that heard him say he takes his son to concerts of singers he likes and west end shows? Yet the comments in the video were calling him an asshole for ignoring his son? And saying he makes his son choose what they do is wrong? They have different intrests and he lets his son choose because of that...idk maybe its being raised the way i was but i think its great he lets his son choose and he does it with him instead of trying to force his own interests on his 14yo.
Reddit is a cesspit of absolute degeneracy and borderline (if not actually) destructive advice. They don't read or parse full stories. They glean from them what they want and then assume the rest. "Dude likes sports, his step-son does, bio-son doesn't. Ergo dad spends ZERO time with bio-son, verbally and financially harms him and hates anything that strays from traditional masculinity. Obviously YTA" It's so ridiculous it seems as though it'd be satire, and the fact that it's not is just sad.
Tbh the TRUE error in the 2nd Storys dad/OP Is that he keeps seperating the family's? The way he talked about Mark and Luke is like his ''2 projects'' When people told him he needed to do more with Mark OP imediatly thinks he would need to do less with Luke, as if he can't do smth with BOTH TOGETHER?!?!? The problem is even MORE obvious when the boys actually seem to like each other but don't feel like they can ask each other...thats not just ''beeing embarrassed'' but obviously still not feeling ''comfortable'' in the Family Dynamik!!! You aren't even a ''Patchwork family'' you are like 2 diffrent seperate familys in 1 household. And yeah thats mainly OP's fault for doing stuff seperately! Mark wouldn't be jelous of OP when OP would have done stuff together with BOTH boys (and obviously find stuff both liked! They like videogames and music and TV like mentioned in the video!) The comments were also AWFULL for constantly saying he needst to PREFERE his ''Bio son'' over his step son. Saying stuff like ''your own sun'', Luke is now ALSO your ''own'' son!!! Both children are now your son's!! Make sure you work as a ''patchworkfamily''. ''Put your son first'' wich one? The comments are so obviously ''Bio only'' acting like Adoption or step children can't be real children?? It should be ''put both sons equal!''.
Toxic masculinity is a buzzword that does not mean anything really. Indoctrinated feminists use that word to shame men. Almost all the things toxic, if not all, are not gendered.
All the comments for Story 2 were stupid, dude already talked about he love his bio son and spent one on one time with him aswell, the comments either have poor comprehension or just want to be angry for the sake of it
The first story is a perfect example of the accuser being guilty of what she is accusing someone else of.. or looking for an excuse to do herself. She wanted an excuse to cheat, and the OP should make her life a living hell for it.
You can tell that the commentors in story 2 on actually read the parts they wanted too. OP said he did things with hi actual son like take him to concerts. Honestly he needs to sit down and have a conversation with his actual kid. I don't believe op is doing anything wrong I just think everyone needs to communicate better.
When she sent him the angry text about being embarrassed from being served at her workplace and that he was being vindictive, I want to think he replied with "Now you know how it feels".
That first comment on the 2nd story was absolutely horrible. He’s building a relationship with his stepson and has already asked his regular son to come along.
OP in the first story should have noticed the red flags before deciding to tie the know with Claudia, or at the very least dated her for years and looked at she reacted around him when he interacted with other females. That way he could have gaged her reaction. Though if she was going to constantly have outbursts while they were married than he should have layed out boundaries and should she take something completely out of context then it would have been the end of their relationship.
Reddit commenters on Story 2 were straight up insane. If OP goes to certain events either way and asks both his son and stepson to tag along and only the latter agrees to it why is OP the AH? Of course he should take an interest in his son's hobbies and interests too, but the guy is 15 and doesn't need to be babied anymore.
These stories and also being in 2 relationships where I have been cheated on multiple times is the reason I will add an infidelity clause and a prenup when I get married
It sounds like she was protecting, probably not the first time she cheated, always the most jealous people are the cheaters. OP should had just stopped and left after the therapist incident, at that point is not worth it.
Story 1: Honestly idk why Op stayed for so long. This woman is clearly unhinged and nothing Op could have done would have made the problem any better. (also i love when people say they want to change therapist’s when the therapist doesn’t blindly agree with them)
Story 1 - OP should of divorced his ex long ago. It's one thing if she questions it once or twice, but every single time he interacts with a female she looses her mind. It's just not worth the headache, hell just imagine if they had a daughter and he texted his daughter or talked to his daughter, who's to say she doesn't go off on the child for some stupid reason.
She’s projecting and either really insecure or she’s looking for an out of the marriage so she can be free to sleep with whoever she wants If she isn’t already doing that
The 1st story made me super mad, I wish he left sooner bc that woman genuinely has problems and like a few others, suspect she was cheating at the very beginning. However, 2nd story felt so wholesome, they're just 2 kids trying to be friends w/each other but are a lil awkward about it ☺
Story 1: OP's wife was already cheating on him or has cheated in the past. And her constant accusation of cheating is her reflecting her guilt. Been there, done that.
Story 1: This is the most toxic person ever. The insecurities are beyond normal. This woman needs serious help. How is he vendictive by serving her at work, but she isn't when she sleeps with someone else because she THINKS OP was cheating
In the first story I'm pretty sure she had male coworkers herself and he never accused her of cheating and it was probably them that helped put those ideas in her mind so she'd cheat with one of them. And the first person that commented on the original post obviously wasn't listening close enough. And he never demanded that his son like what he likes for them to hang out. He's done things that his son has interests in. So in this story the OP is getting judged because his sister read the situation wrong and didn't ask for more clarification from her nephew and lack of communication from the boys. OP is NTA but the commenters on the original post certainly are.
Story 1: I know a guy who had a gf like OP's (ex)wife. Though I'm sure it's fake, it's definitely realistic Story 2: Might be a hot take, but I don't think OP's an AH here. It's just a case of a dad and son having different interests. Sure, they don't spend as much time as with the new stepson, but dad has never shown in his language that he likes his bio son less. The very fact that he's concerned that he might be an AH shows that he genuinely cares about his son, and this is backed up further when he actually talked to his son to make sure the boy is alright. It's extremely difficult to force a man to pick up things that he's definitely uninterested in (speaking from experience) and the redditors trying to coerce dad into doing just that are living in their own little bubble.
S2: Why are all the commenters saying OP is abandoning his son when he actively said he takes his son to things his son enjoys. And FFS, it's not toxic masculinity to enjoy sports and to appreciate having someone with you who enjoys it, too. It would be toxic to demand your son enjoy those things, too, but nowhere does OP do that. Reddit commenters are pretty damn stupid.
Story 2, those who called the guy the AH completely disregarded when he said that he does take his bio son to enjoy his interests and he only hung out with the step son 1:1 on rare occasions. I feel that people just wanted to jump on the guy, he wasn’t the AH, that story had no AH, he just needed to know there was a problem and he addressed it. Feel bad a good guy who did nothing wrong was being harangued as the AH by people with no reading comprehension
On the wife accuses her husband of cheating: This is a common tactic of female cheaters. Abuse the man with false accusations to try to drive them mad while they go out and cheat so they can have their cake and eat it too without worrying about the man that's supporting them leaving.
It seems like your ex is way too complacent with the mess and is well aware of how she is. Misery loves company. Also, not the aunt having the whole situation misconstrued.
Story 2: JFC these commentors have selective reading. OP literally said he took his son to do the things the son was intersted in. Also how is a guy liking sports and racing "toxic masculinity?"
Isn't repeatedly accusing your spouse of cheating (falsely) to the point that you won't let them talk to the opposite sex/you blackmail and emotionally guilt them for doing it, a form of abuse? She was basically trying to control who he was allowed to talk to and constantly putting him under surveillance. She even screamed at him and verbally berated him for the crime of talking to any woman at all including coworkers... that literally is abuse. If the genders were reversed ppl wouldn't be going "divorce him" they'd be going "gtfo there as fast as possible and call the police on him" but I guess women aren't as threatening or needing to be held accountable :/
Couple counseling can work but only if both sides try. Might've been a good idea for the husband to see a man counselor and the wife a female, then come together.
second story; that reply: Was there some edditing by the OP there? because damn, that person seemed to ignore like half of it. *But then, Toxic Masculinity,* all you need to know there. The Dad never forced his first/bio son to do things he did not want, and made a point to *do* go with him to things *the Boy* wanted. What exactly was toxic in his behaviour? answer? nothing. That responder just thinks that any male identifying(Or possibly just Cis-Straight man) person who has "Male Interests" is toxic and should change. Yes, I could be reading too much into something that may well was never an honest response(You know, was never real) but on the assumption this is an actual person who responded to this story... And litterally not even strawmaned the OP. A Strawman has a basic semblance to the opposing position/What is comented on. This person *Ignored* what was there. Yeah, I have had such arguments, and it always pissed me off.
Once everyone started to leave that should have been a clue to leave as well. Though you didn't do anything wrong, you should have said good night to the co worker.
The first story the wife clearly just had her own set of issues. I won’t call that bipolar. I wouldn’t even call that extreme jealousy. She might’ve been a manic depression to sit here and get mad and just start fights for absolutely no reason and constantly accuse her husband of cheating when he was doing nothing. So for her to say now you know what it feels like. she looks like an idiot. She sounded stupid and she deserved everything she got. With the second story I’m not even gonna finish listening to that one. He was reading the comments everybody’s calling him the jerk which is a little fucked up. He was letting his son do his own thing and God forbid he enjoys his own thing. Sister was overstepping boundaries and tried to make an issue out of absolutely nothing when she should’ve just said something like all three of you should find something in common. There’s a way she could’ve approached that, nothing about him was being toxic.
cheaters projection is an interesting look into the human brain. 100% she accused him at every turn because cheating was on her mind in a general sense. She views the world through that lens and ties external variables to it. this applies to so many people in the world. if you are obsessed with racism etc then you will find examples of it everywhere you go even if they are ridiculous assertions
Story 2: The comments kinda upset me ngl because nobody wants to do something they dont really like but the comments are just like go do this and figure out how to like it
comments in the second story are PISSING ME OFF. are they fucking blind or something?? he literally said that he goes to musical concerts and stuff like that with his son. because THATS THE STUFF HIS SON LIKES. if you liked tennis, and your brother liked baseball, YOUR DAD SHOULDNT BRING YOU TO A BASEBALL MATCH AND YOUR BROTHER TO A TENNIS MATCH. he asked bio son "wanna go to an F1 race?" bio son said no, SO HE DIDNT BRING HIM. what if he said no he should've, just been like" oh pack things up BIO SON DOESNT WANNA GO!" like no?? and it explicitly said that he does stuff with his bio son that bio son likes but step son doesnt. he was never TA. he was leaving his bio son out of stuff his bio son wanted to be left out of.
Story One: Othello Love Syndrome. Obsessive Love Syndrome. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder Borderline Personality Disorder Narcissistic Personality Disorder Anti Social Personality Disorder
So all of the people who commented on the first part of the second story can't read? And then he just accepted their worthless gaslighting using such incredibly stupid terms as "toxic masculinity" instead of pointing out that they can't read.
@@cl_0ud470 Ferrari fan mate since 2014 , first f1 year = the ferrari f14t , help me pls. Leclerc p6 is good but still we want more , monaco win for him , great depression for us
Hilarious that story 2 somebody told the op he was toxic because he took his stepson to sports and races 😂. The guy never stopped spending time with his biological son and did things with his son that his son liked . The toxic masculinity comment was so out of pocket it was too funny
On 2nd story: there seems to be a problem with reading comprehension of most Reddit commenters... OP says that he takes his son to west end shows and they stuff the kid likes with him. So why judge him for sharing his time in other activities with his stepson?? Ohhhh the "toxic masculinity" factor... LOL Stop bashing people that don't conform to your silly woke mentality!!!
Story 2 first responses is fucking stupid. 99% of people don't understand when they use the term "Toxic Masculinity". They can't ever read thoroughly and conveniently always miss everything OP did for his bio son. He took his bio son out to things his son was excited for (concerts etc.) how can you conveniently filter that out from your brain is beyond me. I wanted to ignore it because it's stupid but I can't. The only reasonable response is the last one. Sure he was wrong, but he already tried to take his bio son to things he liked and maybe that wasn't as often(?) I can't really know since there are no details.
Nah you right it pissed me off two he said they had one on one time together people just want to find anything wrong with someone post and say stupid shit
@@tofluffybunny6780The funniest part is that not only did they say that they still did stuff with their son, but that he was also inviting him to the other stuff as well. Apparently to not be "toxic" he needed to drag both of them to things they didn't want to go to? Not sure how that would make it better, but okay.
The contents on the second post is absolutely ridiculous it’s like they only paid attention to the worst part he said he actively went to concerts shows and other things that his son wanted to do those people commenting i can’t take serious cause it was prolly all bitter single moms jealous a father was actually active and good to both of his boys and can’t relate and it shows cause in the end they were all wrong and didn’t come close to the truth of the matter 😂😂😂 people really need to stop projecting their personal experiences and feelings into other peoples lives it does no good
She was projecting, and probably even cheating before the accusations.
My thoughts exactly, my mind was going "Uh-oh, here comes the PROJECTING !!".
perhaps she was insecure because of her body lol
Indeed, including the STD/STI test which was probably a cover to determine if SHE had gotten something from one of her affair partners.
She probably started cheating soon after the marriage upon feeeling trapped by it or something.
I’m thinking her affair partner isn’t so innocent. Did he completely miss the fact that she was at the party with her husband?
@@javiermanzano7792 Valid point !
Op should've divorced her years ago, because sometimes people truly aren't worthy all the time and energy. And glad things ended well in the second story.
🎯🎯🎯
Sounds pretty much like she just magically changed personalities after marriage.
Funny how often that happens in reddit stories where people have personality transplants out of the blue.
In hindsight she was probably cheating on him the entire time. She was most likely projecting her own feelings of guilt onto OP the entire time, and only when OP actually caught wind of this behavior did she make a flimsy excuse.
OP 2 got dog piled for no reason.
He literally said he does one on one stuff with his bio son too, he just enjoys his time with step son in a different way because it's stuff he can actually relate to.
My dad and I have some pretty wildly divergent interests, that doesn't mean I feel alienated because he doesn't get when I talk D&D or when he's absorbed in a basketball match.
Yeah, reddit seems to be either really helpful or absolutely toxic. There is no in-between
@@MrSircharles05well the comment uses toxic masculimity to describe sports and uses the term bianary. That itself speaks volumes on the comment.
THANK YOU, The comment was being read n I was like, but didn’t he say that he did stuff with his bio child too?
literally paused the video to check comments when i heard that. glad im not alone lol
Toxic masculinity. are you serious ? It's just that we have activities together. My nephew doesn't watch football, my niece loves football. Why shouldn't I take them with me when I'm at the stadium anyway. I set aside one day a month to pursue my hobbies. If someone else enjoys the same thing, I'll take him or her with me at any time.
I just ignore that crap when I hear it.
It's usually coming from people who have no idea what they are talking about anyway acting like psychoanalysts.
Toxic masculinity is basically just traits that are socially accepted as male (most specifically in western culture), which at the end of the day boils down to a social stereotype of western men portrayed in media, when real men have a range of hobbies regardless of being raised mostly by a female relative or not.
Toxic masculinity has something to do with certain traits that are socially accepted as being male, but it does not necessarily have to do with interests that men may have. To be brief, toxic masculinity is the idea of men forcing other men and young boys into a very specific box of what they can and cannot do, which then results in men not having the chance to be individuals and by individuals, I mean having their own interests outside of just what they're expected to be interested in. In this particular case, this is not an example of toxic masculinity and you are correct about that. The reason why it is not an example of toxic masculinity is because at no point do we hear the father's saying that he hates the things that his son is interested in because he doesn't think that they are appropriate for a boy to be interested in. That's literally the requirement when it comes to deciding whether or not something is toxic masculinity. When someone, whether it be a man or a woman decides that a man or a boy having an interest in XYZ or behaving in XYZ manner is inappropriate because it is something that is Unbecoming of a boy or it weakens a boy in some kind of way or it is not a masculine thing.
And yes it is a real thing because you can actually hear men talk about this concept without even realizing that there is a term for it. Understand, in the cia, there was an issue with a lot of Agents committing suicide because of the stress of their job, the majority of agents are in fact male. So as a solution, they did make therapists available in the office for agents to go to. Then Lo and behold, the Agents then refused to go because it then became a workplace thing that if you went to a therapist for work-related stress, you were seen as weak and inferior by the other male agents because the female agents didn't care if you went to therapy or not. Veterans talk about having a similar issue when it comes to issues of things like PTSD when you get out. Understand how many male veterans, especially those who fail at committing suicide, admit that they felt embarrassed having to go therapy or to get medication because the thought it made them look weak and that they're not supposed to show emotion and that they're supposed to be able to bottle it up and keep it pushing to show how strong they are.
So yes, it does have something to do what's behaviors that are socially expected of men, but it is simply when men are either taught or forced do push aside interests or behaviors that are completely fine just because they do not fit some arbitrary standard of what it means to be a man
@@JoeyMarx Very well said. The term is thrown around and misused so much that I'm tempted to ignore anyone that says it, but that doesn't mean it's not a thing, and you described it extremely well.
Nah literally 😭🙏 there is nothing wrong with liking the stereotypical things. Like- these are just...interests?💀💀💀
@@mnomadvfx It's about the comment someone wrote on story 2. What toxic means and what masculinity means is clear to me, all you Harvard professors. The comment just didn't fit. Just because I watch sports doesn't make me toxic. Do you see the thousands of women in the stadium? Everyone has their hobbies that they try to pursue in addition to their everyday life, it doesn't mean that they throw out their family on the weekend, but everyone also tries to find their balance between everyday life and fun. As I said, pursuing the child's interests is a priority, but you should also have your own hobbies
Omg story 2 pissed me the F off. Reddit commenter gotta be the stupidest people out here. Clearly didn’t read the part on the actual post where he says he takes his son out to do things he enjoys. People just love to bash men for any reason they can find
When i hear toxic masculinity and bianary, i immediately know that its full of shit. Like the comment do not justify and calling him TA for bring his stepson to the game without mistreating his own son is just wild.
Plus OP clearly said that he does do things his son likes, such as concerts and stuff. Honestly I don't think these people actually completely read the post.
"People just love to bash men for any reason they can find"
*feminists love to bash men for any reason they can find, as almost certainly the person who couned the term was a feminist.
Only they could label all stereotypical behaviors, hobbies and interests of men as toxic, even though that stereotype is mostly derived from mens portrayals in western media rather than statistics.
Oh yeah, it was absolutely absurd. Not only is he doing one on one things with his son which seem out of his comfort zone but he's being a proper male role model for a boy who's never had one. The dude is obviously a great father.
Obviously those commenters didn't actually read the whole story or are just plain stupid. Some ppl just love to put in their 2 cents. 😂
NTA She let her own jealousy and lack of trust for OP ruin their marriage. Therapy could’ve worked if she chose to hear out OP and allowed him and the therapist to help her with her jealous tendancies and accept the fact that she was wrong.
OP never asked if he was the A. It is not a post from AITA/r. It is pretty obviously not a moral dilemma.
@@benjaminboettcher1188 my bad didn’t know it was that serious
@@el_lovesyou it's not serious at all. I just think it is weird hearing a story about an emotional abusive cheater and thinking,'I better clarify that she is in the wrong'.
Story 2 is the closest we’ve come on this channel to a positive story where nothing bad happens.
You didn't hear the story of the two brothers who watch TLotR and act like golum? That's gold
@@Darrummusya😂😂
Despite the liberal lunacy @14:54.
@@Darrummus Can you write the name of that video please? I'm really curious.
@@Darrummus pretty sure it was bf/gf from the reddit story read by others but yeah
Story 2: A lesson in how what could be a big problem between step siblings is easily solved by just having a conversation, asking questions, and actually listening to the answers. No bad blood, just to step sibs who just did not quite know how to break the ice with each other, and now, are better than step siblings, they are on the road to becoming best mates. What a wholesome resolution to the story.
Hurray for the power of communication o/ !
My beginning opinion for the first story will add after opinion once finished: it seems like she just wants an excuse to cheat. My after opinion: yeah no I was right she Definitely just wanted an excuse to cheat in him
That or she’s just ridiculously, ridiculously stupid
I prefer to think the latter
Exactly!!!💯
Second story was so sweet, the comments were completely wild seeing as OP mentioned in his post that he does things with his son that his son likes but not sure if it was added after those comments. Glad it was a simple situation of both boys being too shy to ask to hang out with each other.
The first Reddit comment for story 2 was so stupid toxic masculinity cuz you want to go see sports and cars like how is that even toxic
It’s stupid they are his interests he shares with his step son and he was excited for the f1 for so long why cancel it last minute
I love watching sports and races, but I also go to a few concerts so I guess I'm both toxic masculinity and not toxic at the same time lol.
It’s Reddit they have to put meaning in a situation that doesn’t have any real issue. All the op had to do was talk to his kid and see if they can find something to do together and find some type of understanding. Also him being a mamas boy doesn’t mean he’s “effeminate” or “girly” thus causing the whole “toxic masculinity” argument that people threw up in the air. Yes mark is a mamas boy but op never said he wasn’t doing guy things, nor did op shame his kid for not being interested in “guy stuff”
Right? I know ladies who like sports and cars way more than me.
Literally 😭😭😭
Why do they always add toxic masculinity?
First time I've seen it in one of these reddit stories thankfully.
If they start becoming a regular fixture that's where I get off.
I can just about put up with the motion sickness inducing minecraft bouncing simulator, but feminist social engineering psychobabble is where I draw the line in blood.
It is a buzzword that does not mean anything. It is used to shame guys for having typical masculine interests and confidence.
Everything else that is trully toxic has nothing to do with masculinity. Iti s not a gendered thing. Being an asshole is not a gendered thing, being a bigot is not a gendered thing. Most of the things the buzzword is being used for is not a gendered thing. You can easily find a woman that does this as easily as anything women complain about. The issue is that:
1. Men complaints are not taken seriously, sometimes even dismissed. That is why you dont hear about it but if you stop and think you know atleast 2 or more incidents where if roles were reverse it wouldnt be ok.
2. Woman complaints are taken too seriously, and society is like a simp that is ready to catter to woman.
Because they think all masculinity is toxic. If it's masculine, it's bad.
Because it's an easy cheap attack and when you try and defend yourself they just hit you with "see you're being toxic."
@@s1os2s3 I believe this "toxic masculinity" BS stems from broken families & children raised by damaged single mothers (often with multiple children who have multiple fathers...) ...whilst there are obviously variables, many women that have multiple children with multiple fathers have skewed view's of men in general. These damaged women subconsciously follow a pattern with equally damaged men & create children which they then damage...& the cycle continues...
Sadly when a damaged person becomes involved with a non-damaged person (per say)...they invariably project their generationally inherited trauma (from their own upbringing/environment) because they don't know any other way ...
There is no way how tf is the word "accused" getting censored now 💀
I just love when I get to acc-sed people for their wrong doings. 😂
TH-cam babies
And then a year later, OP's ex-wife will crawl back to him to help her...
Damn did the people in story 2 even listen to what the OP said?
My thoughts exactly
They didn't 💀
Nope. Sound like title readers. “I read the title and a little bit of the text now I will make an opinion based on that”😩😮💨
I don't understand why the original poster stayed with this person for so long to the point of marriage because I know for a fact anybody accusing you of cheating are the type of people that have already cheated on you and on top of that they're just trying to justify the fact that they might have already cheated because they're guilty this is showing
Pretty sure the whole oh this random woman looked at you you’re cheating on me didn’t start happening till after the marriage
Story 2, I love that all the comments showed kept saying "you need to do stuff with your bio son cause you're obviously abandoning him" when the op literally said he does do things his bio son likes and he doesn't.
2nd story...am i the only one that heard him say he takes his son to concerts of singers he likes and west end shows? Yet the comments in the video were calling him an asshole for ignoring his son? And saying he makes his son choose what they do is wrong? They have different intrests and he lets his son choose because of that...idk maybe its being raised the way i was but i think its great he lets his son choose and he does it with him instead of trying to force his own interests on his 14yo.
Reddit is a cesspit of absolute degeneracy and borderline (if not actually) destructive advice. They don't read or parse full stories. They glean from them what they want and then assume the rest.
"Dude likes sports, his step-son does, bio-son doesn't. Ergo dad spends ZERO time with bio-son, verbally and financially harms him and hates anything that strays from traditional masculinity. Obviously YTA"
It's so ridiculous it seems as though it'd be satire, and the fact that it's not is just sad.
Tbh the TRUE error in the 2nd Storys dad/OP
Is that he keeps seperating the family's?
The way he talked about Mark and Luke is like his ''2 projects''
When people told him he needed to do more with Mark OP imediatly thinks he would need to do less with Luke, as if he can't do smth with BOTH TOGETHER?!?!?
The problem is even MORE obvious when the boys actually seem to like each other but don't feel like they can ask each other...thats not just ''beeing embarrassed'' but obviously still not feeling ''comfortable'' in the Family Dynamik!!!
You aren't even a ''Patchwork family'' you are like 2 diffrent seperate familys in 1 household. And yeah thats mainly OP's fault for doing stuff seperately!
Mark wouldn't be jelous of OP when OP would have done stuff together with BOTH boys (and obviously find stuff both liked! They like videogames and music and TV like mentioned in the video!)
The comments were also AWFULL for constantly saying he needst to PREFERE his ''Bio son'' over his step son. Saying stuff like ''your own sun'', Luke is now ALSO your ''own'' son!!! Both children are now your son's!! Make sure you work as a ''patchworkfamily''.
''Put your son first'' wich one? The comments are so obviously ''Bio only'' acting like Adoption or step children can't be real children??
It should be ''put both sons equal!''.
how is liking sports toxic masculinity? for anyone looking its on 14:54
bunch of stupid people saying stupid things
Toxic masculinity is a buzzword that does not mean anything really. Indoctrinated feminists use that word to shame men.
Almost all the things toxic, if not all, are not gendered.
1st story: wife was definitely projecting, probably cheating the whole damn marriage.
All the comments for Story 2 were stupid, dude already talked about he love his bio son and spent one on one time with him aswell, the comments either have poor comprehension or just want to be angry for the sake of it
The first story is a perfect example of the accuser being guilty of what she is accusing someone else of.. or looking for an excuse to do herself. She wanted an excuse to cheat, and the OP should make her life a living hell for it.
First op mentions living in an apartment.... But when the divorce occurs, it is suddenly a house.
OP took his sweet time growing a titanium spine. First incident should have been the warning, Second incident should have been where it stops.
You can tell that the commentors in story 2 on actually read the parts they wanted too. OP said he did things with hi actual son like take him to concerts. Honestly he needs to sit down and have a conversation with his actual kid. I don't believe op is doing anything wrong I just think everyone needs to communicate better.
Never stay with a partner who accuses you of cheating. Never accuse your partner of cheating without proof
When she sent him the angry text about being embarrassed from being served at her workplace and that he was being vindictive, I want to think he replied with "Now you know how it feels".
Story 2 is a prine example of what I try to tell people in the relationship advice subreddit. Communication is key a lot of the time.
That first comment on the 2nd story was absolutely horrible. He’s building a relationship with his stepson and has already asked his regular son to come along.
She’s not the sharpest tool in the shed if she thinks talking a form of cheating
The second story is so wholesome
OP in the first story should have noticed the red flags before deciding to tie the know with Claudia, or at the very least dated her for years and looked at she reacted around him when he interacted with other females. That way he could have gaged her reaction. Though if she was going to constantly have outbursts while they were married than he should have layed out boundaries and should she take something completely out of context then it would have been the end of their relationship.
Reddit commenters on Story 2 were straight up insane. If OP goes to certain events either way and asks both his son and stepson to tag along and only the latter agrees to it why is OP the AH? Of course he should take an interest in his son's hobbies and interests too, but the guy is 15 and doesn't need to be babied anymore.
Story 1 , she sounds like she has a guilty conscience
Either she's delusional or she's projecting.....
I have to admit, you got balls if you chose to stay with her.
story 1: classic projection! she was cheating the entire and projected it on him.
Dawg, wtf😂
I like working out while listening either to music or this. I couldn’t continue after hearing that rtardly funny logic😭
These stories and also being in 2 relationships where I have been cheated on multiple times is the reason I will add an infidelity clause and a prenup when I get married
It sounds like she was protecting, probably not the first time she cheated, always the most jealous people are the cheaters.
OP should had just stopped and left after the therapist incident, at that point is not worth it.
Generally when your partner keeps accusing you of cheating it means that they are cheating. Dude needs to get crazy out of his life.
Story 1: Honestly idk why Op stayed for so long.
This woman is clearly unhinged and nothing Op could have done would have made the problem any better.
(also i love when people say they want to change therapist’s when the therapist doesn’t blindly agree with them)
Acusing him, she was projecting her afairs...
Story 1 - OP should of divorced his ex long ago. It's one thing if she questions it once or twice, but every single time he interacts with a female she looses her mind. It's just not worth the headache, hell just imagine if they had a daughter and he texted his daughter or talked to his daughter, who's to say she doesn't go off on the child for some stupid reason.
She’s projecting and either really insecure or she’s looking for an out of the marriage so she can be free to sleep with whoever she wants If she isn’t already doing that
The 1st story made me super mad, I wish he left sooner bc that woman genuinely has problems and like a few others, suspect she was cheating at the very beginning. However, 2nd story felt so wholesome, they're just 2 kids trying to be friends w/each other but are a lil awkward about it ☺
First story Ops… he making himself seem very clean in the story. Almost too clean.
Story 1: OP's wife was already cheating on him or has cheated in the past. And her constant accusation of cheating is her reflecting her guilt. Been there, done that.
We are censoring accuseing 🗣️🗣️ 🔥🔥
Thanks liberals at TH-cam. Very cool.
Because TH-cam censorship
L wife
Story 1: This is the most toxic person ever. The insecurities are beyond normal. This woman needs serious help. How is he vendictive by serving her at work, but she isn't when she sleeps with someone else because she THINKS OP was cheating
1st story Claudia definitely cheated on op before the accusing starts, she just wanted an excuse to cheat with that man
In the first story I'm pretty sure she had male coworkers herself and he never accused her of cheating and it was probably them that helped put those ideas in her mind so she'd cheat with one of them. And the first person that commented on the original post obviously wasn't listening close enough. And he never demanded that his son like what he likes for them to hang out. He's done things that his son has interests in. So in this story the OP is getting judged because his sister read the situation wrong and didn't ask for more clarification from her nephew and lack of communication from the boys. OP is NTA but the commenters on the original post certainly are.
Story 1: I know a guy who had a gf like OP's (ex)wife. Though I'm sure it's fake, it's definitely realistic
Story 2: Might be a hot take, but I don't think OP's an AH here. It's just a case of a dad and son having different interests. Sure, they don't spend as much time as with the new stepson, but dad has never shown in his language that he likes his bio son less. The very fact that he's concerned that he might be an AH shows that he genuinely cares about his son, and this is backed up further when he actually talked to his son to make sure the boy is alright. It's extremely difficult to force a man to pick up things that he's definitely uninterested in (speaking from experience) and the redditors trying to coerce dad into doing just that are living in their own little bubble.
Tbh for the wife to be this jealous is already abuse, poor op
S2: Why are all the commenters saying OP is abandoning his son when he actively said he takes his son to things his son enjoys. And FFS, it's not toxic masculinity to enjoy sports and to appreciate having someone with you who enjoys it, too. It would be toxic to demand your son enjoy those things, too, but nowhere does OP do that.
Reddit commenters are pretty damn stupid.
Story 2, those who called the guy the AH completely disregarded when he said that he does take his bio son to enjoy his interests and he only hung out with the step son 1:1 on rare occasions. I feel that people just wanted to jump on the guy, he wasn’t the AH, that story had no AH, he just needed to know there was a problem and he addressed it. Feel bad a good guy who did nothing wrong was being harangued as the AH by people with no reading comprehension
Finnaly the second story isn't about getting cheasted on
Yeah dis ain't some insecurity dis just psychotic 😅😅😅
On the wife accuses her husband of cheating: This is a common tactic of female cheaters. Abuse the man with false accusations to try to drive them mad while they go out and cheat so they can have their cake and eat it too without worrying about the man that's supporting them leaving.
I see both sides in Story 2 tbh, while I think the comments are reaching, but I don’t deny that this happens to some people
It seems like your ex is way too complacent with the mess and is well aware of how she is. Misery loves company.
Also, not the aunt having the whole situation misconstrued.
15:19 the first time telltales actually disagreed with the og poster.
Story 2: JFC these commentors have selective reading. OP literally said he took his son to do the things the son was intersted in. Also how is a guy liking sports and racing "toxic masculinity?"
Isn't repeatedly accusing your spouse of cheating (falsely) to the point that you won't let them talk to the opposite sex/you blackmail and emotionally guilt them for doing it, a form of abuse? She was basically trying to control who he was allowed to talk to and constantly putting him under surveillance. She even screamed at him and verbally berated him for the crime of talking to any woman at all including coworkers... that literally is abuse. If the genders were reversed ppl wouldn't be going "divorce him" they'd be going "gtfo there as fast as possible and call the police on him" but I guess women aren't as threatening or needing to be held accountable :/
Couple counseling can work but only if both sides try. Might've been a good idea for the husband to see a man counselor and the wife a female, then come together.
second story; that reply: Was there some edditing by the OP there? because damn, that person seemed to ignore like half of it.
*But then, Toxic Masculinity,* all you need to know there.
The Dad never forced his first/bio son to do things he did not want, and made a point to *do* go with him to things *the Boy* wanted.
What exactly was toxic in his behaviour? answer? nothing. That responder just thinks that any male identifying(Or possibly just Cis-Straight man) person who has "Male Interests" is toxic and should change.
Yes, I could be reading too much into something that may well was never an honest response(You know, was never real) but on the assumption this is an actual person who responded to this story...
And litterally not even strawmaned the OP. A Strawman has a basic semblance to the opposing position/What is comented on.
This person *Ignored* what was there.
Yeah, I have had such arguments, and it always pissed me off.
Story 1. Can you say PROJECTION!!!
I feel like the comments in story 2 didn't listen bc he said he takes him to shows and concerts wth!
What a disgusting misandrist to call his hobbies "toxic masculinity". This person should get counciling, not try and give council.
Once everyone started to leave that should have been a clue to leave as well. Though you didn't do anything wrong, you should have said good night to the co worker.
Story 1: she was cheating the whole time. She was doing the classic projection
Story 1, she been cheating. That’s why she always accused OP.
The first story the wife clearly just had her own set of issues. I won’t call that bipolar. I wouldn’t even call that extreme jealousy. She might’ve been a manic depression to sit here and get mad and just start fights for absolutely no reason and constantly accuse her husband of cheating when he was doing nothing. So for her to say now you know what it feels like. she looks like an idiot. She sounded stupid and she deserved everything she got. With the second story I’m not even gonna finish listening to that one. He was reading the comments everybody’s calling him the jerk which is a little fucked up. He was letting his son do his own thing and God forbid he enjoys his own thing. Sister was overstepping boundaries and tried to make an issue out of absolutely nothing when she should’ve just said something like all three of you should find something in common. There’s a way she could’ve approached that, nothing about him was being toxic.
2 story comment irritated me cause what he was accusing op of was not said in the post a bunch of projection
Never admit to being a man on Reddit if you're asking for advice about relationships.
he just pissed cuz she did it first lol
Now that he’s single, he should get with rebecca 🥰
Not that it really matters it just really ticks me off how common words like accused and poison and kill are censored, anyone know why?
cheaters projection is an interesting look into the human brain. 100% she accused him at every turn because cheating was on her mind in a general sense. She views the world through that lens and ties external variables to it.
this applies to so many people in the world. if you are obsessed with racism etc then you will find examples of it everywhere you go even if they are ridiculous assertions
Anyone thinking cheaters always see cheating
Story 1: You could have corrected her early on with a little Sean Connery.
Sounds like someone with untreated bpd if I’ve ever heard one
She was probably cheating the whole time
divorce problem solved
Story 1...trying extra to vouch for women... But i think they all are a lost cause
Story 2: The comments kinda upset me ngl because nobody wants to do something they dont really like but the comments are just like go do this and figure out how to like it
Story 2 definitely nta the son is the ah
Wow, that comment in the second story is the most toxic shit I've seen.
comments in the second story are PISSING ME OFF. are they fucking blind or something?? he literally said that he goes to musical concerts and stuff like that with his son. because THATS THE STUFF HIS SON LIKES. if you liked tennis, and your brother liked baseball, YOUR DAD SHOULDNT BRING YOU TO A BASEBALL MATCH AND YOUR BROTHER TO A TENNIS MATCH. he asked bio son "wanna go to an F1 race?" bio son said no, SO HE DIDNT BRING HIM. what if he said no he should've, just been like" oh pack things up BIO SON DOESNT WANNA GO!" like no?? and it explicitly said that he does stuff with his bio son that bio son likes but step son doesnt. he was never TA. he was leaving his bio son out of stuff his bio son wanted to be left out of.
Story One:
Othello Love Syndrome.
Obsessive Love Syndrome.
Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Anti Social Personality Disorder
Why the hell did they censor the word Accused???
So all of the people who commented on the first part of the second story can't read?
And then he just accepted their worthless gaslighting using such incredibly stupid terms as "toxic masculinity" instead of pointing out that they can't read.
blud has light powers 💀
Denial is a river in egypt YOUR SON IS GAY (story 2)
14:11 as a f1 fan for 10 years , can confirm i am a clown face right now
let me help you as a fellow f1 fan 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
@@cl_0ud470 Ferrari fan mate since 2014 , first f1 year = the ferrari f14t , help me pls. Leclerc p6 is good but still we want more , monaco win for him , great depression for us
Hilarious that story 2 somebody told the op he was toxic because he took his stepson to sports and races 😂. The guy never stopped spending time with his biological son and did things with his son that his son liked . The toxic masculinity comment was so out of pocket it was too funny
I’m I stupid or is the op in the second story not an ah. He’s stated that he has been doing things that his first son likes
On 2nd story: there seems to be a problem with reading comprehension of most Reddit commenters... OP says that he takes his son to west end shows and they stuff the kid likes with him. So why judge him for sharing his time in other activities with his stepson?? Ohhhh the "toxic masculinity" factor... LOL Stop bashing people that don't conform to your silly woke mentality!!!
Story 2 first responses is fucking stupid. 99% of people don't understand when they use the term "Toxic Masculinity". They can't ever read thoroughly and conveniently always miss everything OP did for his bio son. He took his bio son out to things his son was excited for (concerts etc.) how can you conveniently filter that out from your brain is beyond me. I wanted to ignore it because it's stupid but I can't.
The only reasonable response is the last one. Sure he was wrong, but he already tried to take his bio son to things he liked and maybe that wasn't as often(?) I can't really know since there are no details.
Nah you right it pissed me off two he said they had one on one time together people just want to find anything wrong with someone post and say stupid shit
@@tofluffybunny6780The funniest part is that not only did they say that they still did stuff with their son, but that he was also inviting him to the other stuff as well.
Apparently to not be "toxic" he needed to drag both of them to things they didn't want to go to? Not sure how that would make it better, but okay.
The contents on the second post is absolutely ridiculous it’s like they only paid attention to the worst part he said he actively went to concerts shows and other things that his son wanted to do those people commenting i can’t take serious cause it was prolly all bitter single moms jealous a father was actually active and good to both of his boys and can’t relate and it shows cause in the end they were all wrong and didn’t come close to the truth of the matter 😂😂😂 people really need to stop projecting their personal experiences and feelings into other peoples lives it does no good