Ze, I miss you. Please come back. Your videos where you create a safe place like this, and talk about the hard things in an open, hopeful, and helpful way have always given me peace. They've helped how I think, and feel, and hope. Please come back. I need that safe place again.
Chris McCartney It's a good thing that there's a lot of Ze on the internet, his main channel, this one, Ted talks even. Rewatching stuff gives some relief too, there are many words of wisdom in every video, too much to grasp at once. I too would like to see more though, I wonder what it is he's doing now.
I think the way to go with this bugger might be to dance; like, if you jiggle around enough, you dislodge him, and out comes his tail and off he falls from your head and slithers back to his layer.
you have to sing the snake to sleep so it relaxes around your shoulders like a warm scarf. songs you can sing include: "at least i did something!" and "I'm working on getting better by sucking for a while!" and "no time is wasted as long as i put something thoughtful into the universe!" if these songs don't work, whip out the last of your arsenal ze, the big gun: "there are literally thousands of people whose lives i've touched, whom i've inspired, and who appreciate and applaud my efforts, so get lost, snake!"
Exactly what I thought - the snake is coiled tightly because it's anxious, it needs to be shown it's safe & loved, and then it will relax. I also pictured it melting into liquid sunshine and pouring into my spine, resting behind my heart.
I still wish you’d come back with these… I love your animal stuff… but I love this stuff too… we all do… even if it ain’t relative but just some shit when you come and talk as a person and not a narrator… I’m sure we’d love it all.
Ze, thank you. I don't think you know how much your videos like this help some of us. I know my monsters and my demons won't go away over night, but knowing that other people deal with them too, helps. It helps a lot.
Ze, I miss this. You make me feel comfortable being incomplete, help me breathe deep and look at things, and sometimes you make me feel big emotions too, when it's appropriate. Thank you.
Dear Ze, I have severe clinical depression and I also know about those mean little monsters that wiser lies into our ears. I just wanted to thank you for teaching me so much. My emotions are pretty big as well and sometimes I don't know what to do with them. I try to talk to my parents but they are just not as emotional and tell me that they don't understand. So thank you for teaching me what they can't. Thank you for teaching me how to just be me.
The decription of the anxiety monster was absolutely brilliant. I wish I had a suggestion for the snake, but the other comments here have wonderful ideas. I hope you are comforted to see how much you inspire people toward introspection and compassion.
You are incredibly courageous. I have never heard anyone speak so frankly about the challenges of life. I do admire your mind. Perhaps you could charm the snake and he would dance away
I've been following you for years and have watched your True Facts series repeatedly. I have, however, only discovered your more serious talks. All I want to say is thank you for being able to vocalize what I have not been able to. I really hope the activity I have seen on your page recently is the beginning of you returning to the people who have missed you dearly.
Ze, you actually have another monster that lives on your back. I think it may be an owl. He puts his wings around your shoulders like a feathery hug. When the snake acts up, wiggle your hips to tell the owl that you need help with the snake. He will launch off you and fly silently for a moment before it comes down and eats the snake. Owls represent intelligence and wisdom and victory. By envisioning the owl, you are just bringing your intelligence and wisdom to vanquish the snake. You know you are a good person, (even if you may have hurt someone, or did something bad). You use your wisdom to know that you have A TON of followers on here and you are CRAZY talented, and you have a great sense of humor. You make these videos for people like me, who are desperate for a good laugh....and you really make me smile. I know I’m not the only one either.... you teach people and entertain people, and you really help people. So no matter how you got here from your past, it led you here to enhance our lives by just being you. This is how the owls do......
ZeFrank, because of you and people like you, there are people like me that don't feel so alone in this sometimes alienating world. To some of my own monsters, you're one of my tools in my toolbox. Thank you to the Moon and back.
I'm fighting that snake battle myself right now in my life. Today more than most and I wanted to tell you how valuable and helpful your videos are to me. You put so much imagination and meaning into your words and work. It always makes me step back and rethink. You have helped me fight off many of my monsters and gotten me out of really emotionally dark places. Sometimes even just knowing I'm not alone in certain thoughts or feelings is enough. I hope you never stop making videos because what you do means a lot to people and that can never be 'shit'. So whenever you have that snake monster, unplug his tail and think of all the good things you've done, any size, smiled at someone, help a stranger, helped yourself grow even a little. These actions have ripple can change someone's day. Like this video has for me. Everytime you think of something you did that was for the better unravel the snake a little. I found that looking at past me and seeing how I've changed for the better in that year or what I learned from month by month helps. Even if I'm not as far as I want to be. Even if I stepped backwards I learned something that can move me forward. Trying is worth more than we give it credit for and is always better than giving up and forgetting those things you tried to do because we labeled it a failure. Thanks for all your hard work and sharing your thoughts and feelings with us all. We appreciate you.
Thank you for this! My monster is a butterfly that sits on my shoulders, whispering to me constantly. She whispers irrational words of worry and doubt, and I know I shouldn't listen, but I can't seem to help it. Like the monster herself, the words are faint but they linger and I can't let go of them. As for your snake, my advice is simple. Charm it with the music of your accomplishments and gratitude.
Feed it a cookie you've baked. The fabulous taste of the cookie will make it sleepy; at which time it just . . . slips off. The "cookie you've baked" represents the achievements you've made and the people you've touched just doing what you do. The "insecurity snake" can't do anything against hard work and proof and eventually it just tires itself out.
I love this! Might try even thinking the whole process of "making" the cookie ( don't even have to use real ingredient/things ) ha ha ha hah ha haw I've got one of those but mines more just eyes in the dark. Thank you TalesofTim
Snakes have almost always been portrayed as liars, Ze. Each lie is a layer of skin and as the snake sheds it's skin, it's just one more lie that falls away until the snake is gone.
Wow, that's pretty interesting. You will find that they are following you and not the other way around. It is so refreshing to see such an open and sharing person!
ZE, some people have IT, I don't know what it is, but you have IT. The sound of your voice, the depth of your soul, your willingness to share, There are those of us out here who love [yes, love] and trust you. But, you know that. Are these more personal demons? You can still share, I would not judge and I feel certain that I am not alone. Let us be your sounding board. I can't stand to think of you in pain.
Thank you. In German we call them the abergeiste. I've learned myriad ways of dealing with them but it is not full proof and the success rate varies. That I discovered your channels today and was led now to this one, so profound and moving this video is like a shift in dimension for me. Hard times is an understatement for my present life and the past few years but I don't focus on that. It wastes energy and changes nothing. I will try to not obsessively watch all these videos immediately. A challenge as Ze Frank is wonderful to look at and either entertaining or comforting to listen to so naturally one wants more. Intelligence in others is intoxicating. But I will go to something else now and continue tomorrow. For all the efforts that I perceive you have put into your videos I hope you experience joy, peace and have much love in your life. Certainly you seem a lovable man.
Ze, thank you so much for giving me another way to think of these thoughts or feelings that we all get in one capacity or another. When they get uncontrollable and while you can rationally work out the root causes, as you say it's sometimes nice to push them into a place that's beyond rational in order to tackle them. I will try to think of this the next time I get into a rough spot. As for your snake problem, I really like Nicolas Tilford's suggestion - the snake is too busy looking you in the face and bringing you down to bother see where you are and what you've learned. More than that, I think it's a great help to know how many other people you've helped as well, and by reading through these comments, I know it's quite a lot. Cheers. x
I remember watching this in 2013. Watching it again now in 2015 makes me feel a little more connected. I'm so stuck right now and I truly wish I could give Ze some advice on how to calm the snake. I also miss these videos and I know Ze is very busy now with his other projects. My monster is always surrounding me in this negative mist. My worry, my negative self-esteem, my fears are all there ready to absorb any happy or positive thought I have. It sucks. Little things can push them away but not for very long. Ze I hope you still read these comments because I want to tell you what people say to me that helps. You are not alone. there is a bit of comfort of knowing that our minds are so magnificent and we can agree there is so much to learn. ♡
Your snake needs to read the thousands of supportive comments and insights people get when they watch your videos. Tens of thousands of people are touched by every video you make, and that influence spreads out into a vast network all the way to infinity. You are an infinite being and the amazing work you have done has already influenced many, many people. When the snake comes try picturing an infinity sign, or move the snake into a figure eight. Do something that makes you think of infinity. When you get this one, it will be big. Love to you, Ze.
Really needed to see this right now - you have such a way with articulating what many people think and feel. This video was over seven years ago so I hope you found an effective way to deal with the snake (mine's right so no help from here, unfortunately :-)).
I'm learning more self acceptance because of watching your videos. If I'm having a really bad day, I'll listen to a few. If you ever have moments where you wonder whether you're making a positive difference in peoples lives please know that you are. You're positively impacting peoples lives all over the globe. You've sure helped me. Tell that to the snake monster.
Dear God, Ze. You hit the nail on the head as far as my life is concerned with every single one of these videos. I've been dealing with a couple HUGE ASS monsters inside me this week. . . Most are different from yours, but the snake thing you just have to realize that most snakes lack clear sight; they may be able to distinguish things moving but they don't really get the whole picture. This snake on your head can't see shit. If you give it some little snake glasses it will be able to see with absolute clarity that your life has been lived in a supremely worthwhile fashion, and will continue to be lived as such for many years to come, and nobody can take that away from you because for every one of them there are a thousand of us that will fight for you every step of the way.
Heres what you're gonna do with that one.... You're going to create someone to be on your side. It's going to look like love. It's going to feel like all the people who have ever been kind to you. It's going to sound like all the kind words and validations you've ever received. It's going to sound like you when you're okay, and you know your worth. It's going to feel like you when you're proud of yourself....... and it's going to hold that snake like a baby and love it. Because you have to love it, it's part of you. When the parts of you that are hurting you..... are winning..... they don't need to be killed, or banished.... they need to be loved. If you don't have the ability to do it, you need to create the ability to do it. If your pain is represented by monsters, then the healer should be beautiful. A mender of broken hearts, a reminder of kind words, and the glue that uses love to put you back together.
+RivenRaven Wow! just WOW! What Ze just said made such perfect sense to me and was quite profound. Then you came along with this wisdom and blew my mind. I would love to see you 2 in an interview. I bet some jewels could be forged between you.
+RivenRaven I tried to google it and I guess im not the only one who can't seem to figure out where this wonderful person has disappeared to, but i do know he still tweets idk if he'll reply to a tweet or dm but you can still try, i hope he posts one video one day, just one more. He doesn't owe us an explanation but you never know Ze is Ze
Thank you for this Ze, you make me feel sane. I have a bunch of little monsters running about inside me too - some similar to yours and some not. Although I am having a problem with my "snake" too from time to time, hes really hard to get rid of and I hate him. What I try and do it clear my head and sing to him a little, calm him down - make him less angry at everything. Soothe him. Or tickle him, and a couple other people have said :) make him a little happier. That way maybe he'll go a little lighter on us.
Sometimes I feel like he is or he's starting something new somewhere else just to start small again with a new group of people. I worry I'm missing out.
Hey Ze, I just wanted to tell you how important your videos are to me and to all of us. You're like an older brother to the Millennial generation as a whole and your insights are always helpful to us. You're a goddamn inspiration man. Hang in there and keep making videos. We depend on you dude.
You need to run your metaphorical finger along the length of the snake. Like 'The Monster Book of Monsters' in Harry Potter, it will automatically relax. It will uncoil from your head and drop on the floor. You'll see it there, lying limply piled up on the floor and you'll know how much it really matters. Thanks so much for this video! You always touch me close to my heart and make me feel not so alone
Ze, what's so remarkable about you is I whole heartily believe that you understand the human condition better than pretty much everyone in existence. How lucky are we to live in a time where we can access such amazing perspectives and ideas so easily! I haven't figured out how to calm my monsters quite yet, but...I'm getting there...
You have to uncoil the snake. It has two sides. One side is covered with the times you've fucked up, and that side wraps around your head. The other side is covered in all the good things you've done, but you can't see it while it's wrapped around you. Only other people can see that side then. So you have to unwrap it, and see it from the other perspective: see the side the rest of us see.
When that snake is wrapped around your head making you see the things you've done as worthless, just stick your fingers under it and slide it off your head to clear your line of vision. Look past the negative snake and see how much GOOD you've done. I know I'm just speaking the rational thoughts you have that struggle to conquer the monsters, but maybe hearing it from someone else will make the rational good thoughts and feelings stronger than the bad. People are programmed to focus more on the bad than the good, but in reality good always outweighs the bad. Remember that those "squandered opportunities" just put you in the place to do some of the great things you've done. And you have done fantastic, amazing things. Your videos on here, like this one, have changed my life. I will now be able to control myself a little better. I had no methods for calming myself down when faced with stress, anxiety, or depression other than my rational self telling my utterly human self that I was being weak and I should be ashamed. I've suppressed these feelings to the point where I can get physically ill, and I'm no longer a healthy, vibrant teenager. But with your method, now I'll admit to having those feelings and look them straight in the eyes and tell them to get lost instead of just pretending that they're not there. So I thank you from the bottom of my monster-filled stomach, and I also would like to congratulate you on building this great community of intelligent, lovely people. And sorry for the long comment.
Despite the system of commenting being so messed up, a ZeFrank video is still filled with honest, inspiring and interesting comments. How fucking cool.
On dealing with your snake, toot your own horn, as it were. Imagine a flute, and as you play it, it plays a song of all the amazing things you've done and the song begins to charm the snake so that it releases its grasp on you and your spine and eventually uncoils and drops to the floor.
I have definitely been attacked by that snake. Here's how I deal with it: the snake is strong, but he lives in the dark and his eyes are sensitive. You have to turn on the light, very bright, show him the truth. Shine all of your achievements and accomplishments down on that snake and he'll loosen his grip and wither away.
This is the most relatable video I've ever seen on this app and I've watched it a hundred times over the years. Thank you. Very much thanks for putting it into words.
I can definitely relate to the throat monster, especially when I have to do any kind of public speaking, or just when I'm really stressed about things. I'll try that trick next time he gets tense.
I have a fog monster that floats around my head and clouds my vision of what I'd like to do and gives me distracting visions. To remedy it, I try to get some fresh air and a change of scenery.
Ze, I have been following your videos for some time now and this one really hit home for me. Thanks for doing what you do, and calming your monsters so we can calm ours.
I've figured it out. You're like the Mister Rogers for adults -- slow, meaningful talking, about things that matter -- giving each thing the thoughtfulness it deserves. That's what the greatness of this channel is. As for the the snake... Perhaps try loosening up his coils a bit, so you can look around and see that he/she is wrong. You've done great, and you continue to do great. Maybe that'll loosen him up enough so that he falls off. My monster is a bit like the snake -- he's the doubt monster. Mine doesn't look backwards, though; it looks forward. "Are you sure that's the best choice? You have all of these options, and any single one of them will be just fine, but are you sure you're picking the BEST one?" Generally I can ignore him long enough and settle into whichever decision I'm making, but he always comes back. And he gets nerve-wracking. Couldn't tell you what he looks like, though.
Thank god for you! You feel like the "bestest" of friends, whether in the serious human videos or the funny animal ones. In all your vulnerable, goofy, hysterical and deeply wise ways you always make my day! Thank you!!!
This is like psychology meets Where the Wild Things Are. Big feelings that roar their terrible roars and gnash their terrible teeth. As far as solutions, if you've ever done a thumb wrestle, and someone tries to pull the Snake in the Grass trick, the obvious response is to do Lawnmower. It gets the snake every time.
wow this is so amazingly accurate to my life. I have dealt with these and others. I realized that the snake was blinding me from the positive results of my actions. I pulled him off in two ways the first was to loosen his grip, do this by taking just a few minutes at the end of every day to find some tiny good little thing that affected someone else for the better. start small, you helped someone to pick up papers they dropped. and over the next few days keep it in your head about how you can change other's lives. sit down and play with some kids. Do something that at the end of the day you feel like you really changed for the better. don't worry about the past and just live day to day for that one moment. The second phase is harder but possible, take a day, scramble your daily norms and think about how much you have shaped this world. everyone has inspired his/her friends through his/her words and actions. everyone has grown up changing how his/her family viewed the world. everyone has taught something, learned something, discover something completely new, and most importantly you have made mistakes but the choices you consciously make are always to make things better. Those decisions are something to really be proud of.
I am only 14, but right now more than ever, i get the snake. The thing is, there are monsters, and there are fairies. The fairies come out when you make people smile, and they fly behind your back when you aren't looking or paying attention and they take the snake's tail out of your spine. And sometimes the snake finds a way to plug itself back in, but if you keep making people smile, then you will smile. And everytime you smile and are happy the snake gets looser and looser until it falls off your head and slithers away.
This is a fantastic idea, Ze. I definitely have versions of those monsters too. One possibility is to inject yourself with an anti-venom, and imagine the anti-venom moving through your body and up your spine until it enters the snake's tail and fills the snake up like a balloon until it loses its grip and floats away (or explodes, if you prefer). I love the monsters idea so much. I internalize my 'monsters' and feel guilty about feeling and thinking things I know aren't true (and like you said, that leads to a downward spiral), and I feel like they might be easier to deal with if I think of them as being external monsters instead of my own inability to cope. Thanks.
I think that ultimately you have the power over "the snake". You created him within your mind, and you have the power to turn him into whatever you choose. I imagine the snake softening and turning into a nice cashmere scarf that falls from my face and feels soft on my neck. This visualization can represent that you will always be your best when you are kind to yourself, rather than cruel and judgemental. I have my own monsters too, and as an illustrator, I sometimes draw them to deal with them. The worse is faceless girl who hides in the dark when I'm home alone. I just make myself talk to this monster, to realize she's not as scary as I think she is I think she represents my fear of dying before I've done something important.
I have a monster called Mr Mustache. He is very old-fashioned and conservative. He tells me that all I do and all I am interested in is just child's play and not a real work. I think that being aware of him is a good sign because now I can try to stop listening. Now I know that it's him talking, not me… (I'm really happy I stumbled on your channel, Ze. Feels like synchronicity because it's exactly what I needed).
Thank you thank you thank you for emphasizing that even though you know rationally and intellectually that there is no reason for having negative thoughts or depression that it’s still a very real and intense feeling. As real as anything else in your life. I think people who don’t suffer from depression don’t make that connection. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I started watching your videos in high school. A few days ago I was trying to find things to watch which gave me comfort then - when it felt like the old man was giving too many unfixable todays in a row. Anyways, thanks for bringing me solace throughout the years. I got a sudden jolt when I realized how to help fight off one of my new monsters. Its a fly-like thing with serrated sword wings. When it flies it creates a buzzing cloud of negativity and its wings slice into some metaphysical energy reserve slowly draining me of motivation and leaving me near empty. I don't know how to fully subdue it yet, but being able to recognize and be excited about squaring off against it was really surprising and nice! Again, thanks so much for the content you have created and continue to create! I hope that you have found a way to subdue your snake :)
This is not so much a tool to help me but just something I do sometimes. I went to a summer program at an art school and I started this thing called emotional self portraits. Whenever we felt something not neutral we would try to express it in a drawing, kind of like the monsters. I'm not sure if it helped with the emotions or understanding them or not but it was kind of interesting to thing about the emotion so much that we had to put it into a picture.
Dear Ze, Ive been watching your videos for over a year now, and your advice has shed light in the darkness i was once in. Im pretty sure because of your advice I've been able to straighten my back and carry on forward. IT really helps. Thanks so much for your words, your awesome. To be honest I'm not sure what you go throuh or how you feel when procuring these videos, I'm sure these wise words come from somewhere. But they're really valuable to us that watch this seeking advice. Keep it up Ze. Thank you for everything.
how do you deal with your snake... read your comments! look at all the positivity you create! i seriously love your videos. they have helped me so much. you were the first 'vlogger' i ever watched back in like 2007 when i was 15. i go back to 'the show' videos frequently. some of the main things i value are kindness, humour, honesty, and intellect and you have them all and more. whenever that snake comes around go to one of your youtube videos and read the comments because they're always great and pretty much prove that they aren't 'for nothing'. if i were you, they would make me feel awesome. if this helps at all, when i think of a person i admire and look up to so much that there's no way i could possibly achieve that level of awesomeness, i think of you.
I watched this video a while ago and didn't really take much away from it, probably because I practiced much less self-reflection back then, but I am absolutely in awe of your use of metaphors. Even the lighting is significant: the light is rational and the dark is irrational and there is a battle between them. About the snake issue, if it is still a problem, I would suggest that you fight it with the power of memories. Memories, to my understanding, are like distinct recipes that get ingrained into your brain cells, and when you re-live a memory, your body gets cooking and recreates the appropriate chemicals. So, pick a really awesome memory, something you did that you're undeniably proud of, and cook your chemical coctail to fight the venom of the snake. Once you begin, it should be easier to find some more great memories, and you will defeat your snake monster. I've never taken an approach to my inner monsters/demons such as you have developed, I usually just try to stick it out until something good happens to counteract the darkness. But I like this. I will try it next time! Thanks for sharing :)
Ze, I will just say that it is comforting to know that others suffer from the inner turmoils and monsters that I do. I am working on them as i see so many others are. Working together I think we can all pull through.
I know those monsters, Ze, they harass me too, they are bastards out to get us. I love your solutions to the first two (I will use them, thank you) and I have a suggestion for dealing with that snake, one that works for me. I imagine my head swelling with oceans of love. pops that fecker loose every time ... at least every time I remember to do it. I would love to talk to you one day. I love the way your mind works, and I love the beautiful soul that shines out of you. Never doubt yourself. You're doing good work. Thank you for all the smiles, the laughs, and the heartful sharing.
As far as the snake goes, I have to deal with it everyday! I best deal with it by realizing that I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. I try to recognize when I am acting like a willful child who just wants to have it "my way!!" and when I'm actually doing the right thing. The more I practice this the better I get at recognizing when my ego (my little fearful petty tyrant) is running the show.and then I can pay attention to the advice of my soul which tells me to do the right thing. Then I feel good about who I am and what I do. Ze, what you do is fantastic, because you are telling your viewers that you're a human, and that you fear your feelings are weird and unique, but they aren't!! So cool!
You have to charm the snake to get it off of your head. Use music to put the snake into a trance and it will relax, slide off of your head and unto the floor.
Thank you ze for sharing as much of your self as you did/could for as long as you did. I still find these videos so helpful in difficult times, It also cheers me to see/remember how you many people you collaborated with and sharing the spotlight with so along the way.
Maybe he's not a snake trying to choke you, but a blindfold trying to keep you from seeing clearly. And if he leaves you in the dark, invite him into that cave. And light a fire, and roast delicious things to share with him. He maligns your past because he's trying to protect you from taking chances in the future that might lead to failure. Reassure him with light and warmth and good food that neither success nor failure mean anything by themselves if you are on the journey with friends.
Your TH-cam videos are some of the most open and life changing videos I've ever seen. Sometimes I go through and rewatch all of them just to understand more. I just wish you made more because these videos make me think and I love them. As for your snake I think something you could do is have each little ring in it's tail represent something you think you've squandered or messed up or missed out on. And then go through and for everything that you know isn't true it takes of a ring of the tail. Slowly making the tail worthless and making it unable to pump anything into your spine
I have a thing sort of like a puffer fish in my chest-area. It's usually small & I forget it's there but when it puffs up I feel like I can't get enough air into my lungs & my heart starts beating faster. I have no idea how to calm that thing down once it gets goin'.
I've got this same one, and I haven't had much time thinking about how to deal with it yet, but I'm working on it. I do know that if you try to squeeze the air (or whatever it's full of) out of it all at once, you just get poked by its spikes. It's definitely something you've gotta take a little while and slowly deal with.
there was a snake i knew once... it lived in a glass box thing at the library. like a fish tank but.. with dirt and grass and leaves and a little pool with tiny gold fish for him to eat. it was a grumpy thing, super bitey. usually no one was allowed to pet it or tap on the glass or anything like that. but once, late in the afternoon when there weren't many people around -- just me actually-- one of the librarians went over and took it out of the box. that afternoon i learned that if you stroked under it's chin, lightly, while whispering to it, it would fall asleep in your hand. so maybe try that? i don't know what you should whisper to it though. i read him a story... (the librarian told him he was pretty.)
What I've found is the only way out is in. Letting the monsters just be instead of trying to rationalize why they shouldn't be there tends to calm them for me. It doesn't really make sense, but just trying not to fight it tends to relax the crush of the tentacles. And just!! Ze!!! Constantly, just, thank you for all of this. These videos make all the difference in the world to me.
Ze, the snake disappears when you look in the mirror to see there is no snake. He exists otherwise, but you must get up and walk up to a mirror to see that he disappears. My monster is the size of my body, and wraps itself over my skin turning my body invisible. It tricks me into thinking that I am powerless, and nothing. I beat him by going into the shower, and washing him down the drain. He doesn't like warmth, because he is so cold in his nature.
+pablo korona Thanks, I'm going to use this. Showering helps me too. Its sometimes the only place I am able to feel safe to cry. Ironically, I just replied about it feeling like a snake swallowing me. *internet hug*
When you feel that something/someone makes you feel safe, know that that feeling of safety originates from within...it/he/she just reminds you of who you've always been.
Ze, I know you probably won't read this, but this video was perfect for me. Been struggling with the cute fuzzy bastard for the past 3 weeks. Your visualization of it helped me 'get' what's been going on with me. As for the snake. Had a big issue with it for the last 2 years. More than once I was curled up in a ball on the floor for a few hours, emotions telling me I should just die and save the world some space, logic telling me I was being unreasonable. Doing preventative stuff is easier than dealing with it in the moment, but I've learned both. For prevention of a snake attack, I don't trust myself with perscription meds, so cardio exercise(low intensity is ok) and writing down 3 new things you are grateful for every day gets you 80% out of the woods. Reduce caffeine intake or take L theanine(an amino acid) with your coffee are also good ideas. For in the moment, I take on a big stance(superman), take a series of sighs while smiling and focusing on the relationships I'm grateful for. Takes 2 minutes, kills the snake, removes the venom. If you want the science behind it, let me know. If you read this, thanks, and I hope it helps. The only antrdote to the venom is love. Has nothing to do with being worthy.
I have a monster I call the guilt fairy. He has even appeared in some of my earlier videos. His job is basically to undermine every achievement, good feeling or sense of contentment I ever feel in hopes I will one day give up and choose the easy way out. It has the ability to sour friendships, create suspicion and paranoia, and also justify despair. I used to think it was evil, something to be fought against, to wrestle with and destroy. But it can never be destroyed. It is as much as I don't like it a part of me, and in its own limited way it does serve a purpose. A self critical voice can on occasion keep you grounded. The thing is that sometimes people believe the critical voice in their heads too much and too often. The way I try to deal with it is reminding myself its one opinion among many and equal parts valid and as ill informed as everyone else. Also true evil is not something you fight and defeat. Its something you transcend.
I know exactly what you're talking about. The end of Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones followed this idea of inner evil being something you transcend, rather than fight... at the end, you face the dark prince, a personification of the darkness within yourself... if you hit him with a weapon, he only multiplies... the way to "defeat" him is to ignore him and climb a nearby set of stairs. I deal with some of this by remembering that there's too much despair and unhappiness in the world as-is, and therefore no need for me to make more of it, and most importantly, no need to undermine any feeling of contentment or happiness I feel. No matter what makes you happy, whether it's something small and trivial or something unusual and unpopular, never regret the happiness you feel. Even in the worst cases of non-consensual sadism* and schadenfreude, you may regret the things and situations that *brought* you happiness, but the happiness itself is a definite good, and you should embrace, rather than be ashamed of, the happiness itself, for you have brought some light, joy, and comfort into the world, even if just for yourself. TL;DR version: Look on the bright side of things, because good things *can* come from bad, even if it's not a net gain. *I follow Jeremy Bentham's moral theory of Hedonistic Calculus, which basically states that the action that brings the most, longest-lasting happiness to the most people is the action that is the greatest good. If you can make other people happy, that's good. If you can make other people *and* yourself happy, that's even better. If you make someone else unhappy, that's bad, but if you make someone else *and* yourself unhappy, that's even worse. Not saying reflective guilt doesn't have a place, or that harmful actions should be repeated or hand-waved away, but at a certain point, you have to realize that punishing yourself won't undo or even prevent any wrongness on your part, and is just creating yet another victim. Best wishes.
Thank you very much for that. I can tell that like me its something you've thought about for a long time. I tend to agree with you. Also props for referencing a video game. Not enough people do that.
I've been feeling exactly this way the past few hours, especially the snake and the long torso monster. Thank you this has been extremely helpful. I imagine taking the snake off my head and watching it as it slowly uncoils. As it stretches out further and further, thinner and thinner, I can start to see the reality of my past which was once hidden laid out like a road behind him, with all of the success of my past now in plain view.
Where is Ze? I've seen all of his videos and he is such a huge help and inspiration that I honestly can't put words into it. I'm scared he left TH-cam and he is never coming back. Please come back.
It has been more than a year since you posted this video though I only just saw it this morning. In trying to put words to your solutions for the snake monster, I read through many of the comments posted here below the video. My heart was filled with the responses of people who were genuinely listening, reflecting, identifying, and supporting you and, therefore, each other. I don't have a solution to your snake monster though in my mind I see that all snakes shed their skin. Perhaps it needs to be a cross between a snake and a butterfly. As it is gripping your head, it begins the transition to shed. But your good thoughts, and the love of those around you, changes a standard shedding into a chrysalis. At the end of the process the snake is no more, there is only the beauty of transition and maybe a butterfly.
I get that snake one too ze, I grab the snake by the head and shove him into one of those fake prank can things wear if u open up the lid then up the spring snakes fly out, and when the evil snake turns into a fun toy snake that pops out I see how all the things I've done can sometimes be funny and great and wacky and they always have the potential to be something everybody can enjoy or hate but it depends on the person to decide, and the outcome is different for each person
i used to visualize my anxiety, NOT depression, as a distorted version of myself. a demon. he would manifest by erupting through the top of my head, forcing himself out with these freakish hands which would emerge initially by sliding through a slit in my scalp and then would grap on to the sides of my open head and thrust him forward. hed always come in my moments of weakness or shame or uncertainty, he represented some kind of deep, visceral loathing and violence, within my psyche, and i began to attribute all my short comings to him. he woud whisper in my ear that he was all i had and that i was unfit for this society. i was some sort of maligned force and i would only bring destruction and misery to myself and others, I was alone, and that i would always be alone. i thought i might have been scizophrenic because i was so utterly neurotic that "it" almost developed an independant personality apart from my own. this scared me. ultimately, i determined that this entity was an irrational creature and that i needed to overcome him in order to be my self again. unable to reason him away, what i had to do was create a secondary impulse and train it into a gut response for every time i saw him. i trained my mind so that whenever he came around, the image of him would immediately be replaced by that of him falling from the roof a building, and through the windshield of my oncoming car. the sound of glass shattering, the thud on my car. the sheer physicality of that concept was shocking enough to effectively jolt him from my mind. in time, he was reduced to a momentary flash of his face, followed immediately by his utter destruction as he was mowed down. eventually, i had him under such control that i wouldnt even see him anymore, and when the circumstances that would normally bring him out did come, i merely saw black, and ultimately nothing at all. He was an odd ball who came from nowhere one night while i was taking out the trash, and initially i didnt know what to think about him. he creeped me out but i found him appealing and over a bout a months time he incubated in my mind into a true monster. hes gone now, but what he represented is still within me. i imagine all people carry a similar weight even if they dont recognize it. ive been a on a quest to cure my angxiety for about 4 years now and dealing with him was an important milestone. im not anywhere near "normal" but every day i feel i get closer.
Thank you so much for this video! I have a boy who is having troubles dealing with and controlling strong emotions, and this has led him to some very bad situations. This is a great way of trying to keep things under control. I'll be showing him this video as soon as he gets home.
It's a snake Ze you gotta charm it. Play it the flute of your successes and whistle it the tunes of time well spent; gradually it will become docile and it's coils will loosen their grip, finally it will fall off down your back and unhook itself from your spine.
Hey Ze, what an interesting concept. I have a couple of monsters but one, is a big sticky mucous who sits at the bottom of my stomach. It's super heavy and weighs me down as soon as I get a moment to my self. She is basically just a blob of guilt that shuffles in the pit of me, telling me of all the things I should feel guilty for, whether it's not picking up my guitar or finishing a book, or mostly how I've hurt people in my past. In order to solve my first two problems, I just get my butt in gear and read or play, but when it comes to making amends with those who shun you, it can bear you down with every fleeting thought. I'm not sure how to shift that pain. Thanks for your thoughtful videos Ze, they can play on my mind for months. :)
I have something a lot like that little snake too. Only, he's not a snake at all. He's a little man, all shriveled up and emaciated. He's made of this thick ooey, sticky, nasty tar, and he likes to sit at the very back of my head, and just whisper dreadful things to me, and touch all of my nice things with his hands and contaminate them with his goo. But he always smiles, this sickly sweet, overly large smile, like he means well. He's very patient and persistent, and he doesn't go away.
Eugh he sounds creepy. The only way I can think of to destroy the goo is to focus a really hot, drying beam onto it, like moving a torch or spotlight, or even some sort of indistrial hairdryer, around all the corners of your mind. Maybe it'll burn the guy out and clear away the residual rot on your things :/
Ze, try sitting in a spinning computer chair, and center yourself (literally and figuratively) and then start spinning. When you get going fast enough, the centripetal force will cause the snake to unwind from your head and send it crashing into the wall. Boom. Ze 1 monster 0
I imagine there's a little strong man in the pit of my chest. Miniature, but otherwise built like a body-builder with a vicious temper. When something I don't like happens, sometimes it feels like he's using all his strength to squeeze at my heart and pound against my ribs to force me to lash out at the people around me or at myself. Poetry calms him down and if I can repeat some of his favorite verses from Shakespeare, he'll get tired and lose strength.
It's digging its tail into your spine to keep you from standing tall; it's also replacing your head with its own, instilling in you false sentiments about life while diverting and intercepting messages your mind needs to be recieving from your heart. You need to remind yourself that accomplishment is not a healthy currency of life, at least not the kind of accomplishment the snake is trying to convince you is important. Reminding yourself of the monumental things you have achieved is only paying the snake in the currency it lusts after, in the long run it can only make the snake stronger and more capable in preventing the meaning in your life from reaching your consciousness. Life should only be measured in meaningful interactions and relationships--love that lasts only moments or for decades. Any value you will derive from this life, when all is said and done, will come from those wonderful interactions; it's not about what you have done that the world can see, but what you've done and experienced that can't be seen broadly at all. There is a very weak correlation between having those interactions and worldly success. Next time you feel that snake constricting you, focus on the signals your heart is sending out and follow them as they reach your spine. Guide them from your spine to your mind, and keep them from taking the wrong path to the snake--don't let the snake have a single one. Remember that snakes can survive for a very long time between meals, so keep in mind that it will be there for a while and try to feed it as infrequently as you possibly can. The ultimate goal is to starve it out. It will also be more prone to leaving if you can pinch its tail with your spine by standing up tall. Go out and have interactions with people that will make you stand tall; love others and be open to being loved if you can. The more true meaning you bring yourself through love, the taller you'll stand, and the more uncomfortable the snake will be. Good luck on your journey Ze, it won't always be easy, but you seem like a really mindful and capable guy, and I'm incredibly confident that you'll get rid of that snake sooner than you thought was possible.
Ze, you have made a difference in many people's lives. You have make people laugh, think and be inspired. Those are your weapons for the snake. Perhaps try and identify three specific achievements (not necessarily big achievements, but ones that are important to you) and imagine each as a type of weapon to defeat the snake.
That's why it is important to discuss it while we are still young. Learning how to cope is something you get while you grow, and you never finish learning since it is part of the book of life, but searching for tools from others helps streamline the process. Good luck with your monsters.
Ze, I miss you. Please come back. Your videos where you create a safe place like this, and talk about the hard things in an open, hopeful, and helpful way have always given me peace. They've helped how I think, and feel, and hope. Please come back. I need that safe place again.
Chris McCartney It's a good thing that there's a lot of Ze on the internet, his main channel, this one, Ted talks even. Rewatching stuff gives some relief too, there are many words of wisdom in every video, too much to grasp at once. I too would like to see more though, I wonder what it is he's doing now.
I firmly agree
Yes
+Mijnheer Ikdus he is actually the head of buzzfeedvideo, if I'm not wrong.
hes running buzz feed actually.
I think the way to go with this bugger might be to dance; like, if you jiggle around enough, you dislodge him, and out comes his tail and off he falls from your head and slithers back to his layer.
you have to sing the snake to sleep so it relaxes around your shoulders like a warm scarf. songs you can sing include: "at least i did something!" and "I'm working on getting better by sucking for a while!" and "no time is wasted as long as i put something thoughtful into the universe!" if these songs don't work, whip out the last of your arsenal ze, the big gun: "there are literally thousands of people whose lives i've touched, whom i've inspired, and who appreciate and applaud my efforts, so get lost, snake!"
this goes for everyone, except maybe for others it isn't 'thousands of people' but 'tens of people'. but they're out there, by george.
Exactly what I thought - the snake is coiled tightly because it's anxious, it needs to be shown it's safe & loved, and then it will relax. I also pictured it melting into liquid sunshine and pouring into my spine, resting behind my heart.
I still wish you’d come back with these… I love your animal stuff… but I love this stuff too… we all do… even if it ain’t relative but just some shit when you come and talk as a person and not a narrator… I’m sure we’d love it all.
Ze, thank you. I don't think you know how much your videos like this help some of us. I know my monsters and my demons won't go away over night, but knowing that other people deal with them too, helps. It helps a lot.
I still love watching these videos...they are so comforting.
Ze, I miss this. You make me feel comfortable being incomplete, help me breathe deep and look at things, and sometimes you make me feel big emotions too, when it's appropriate. Thank you.
I just found this video 6+ years after you uploaded it and it made me subscribe right away. With bells and whistles. Just in case. One day.
Dear Ze,
I have severe clinical depression and I also know about those mean little monsters that wiser lies into our ears. I just wanted to thank you for teaching me so much. My emotions are pretty big as well and sometimes I don't know what to do with them. I try to talk to my parents but they are just not as emotional and tell me that they don't understand. So thank you for teaching me what they can't. Thank you for teaching me how to just be me.
The decription of the anxiety monster was absolutely brilliant. I wish I had a suggestion for the snake, but the other comments here have wonderful ideas. I hope you are comforted to see how much you inspire people toward introspection and compassion.
You are incredibly courageous. I have never heard anyone speak so frankly about the challenges of life. I do admire your mind. Perhaps you could charm the snake and he would dance away
I've been following you for years and have watched your True Facts series repeatedly. I have, however, only discovered your more serious talks.
All I want to say is thank you for being able to vocalize what I have not been able to.
I really hope the activity I have seen on your page recently is the beginning of you returning to the people who have missed you dearly.
Ze please start making more videos. I love the advice you give. It's helped me a lot in life.
He doesn’t care.
Ze, you actually have another monster that lives on your back. I think it may be an owl. He puts his wings around your shoulders like a feathery hug. When the snake acts up, wiggle your hips to tell the owl that you need help with the snake. He will launch off you and fly silently for a moment before it comes down and eats the snake.
Owls represent intelligence and wisdom and victory. By envisioning the owl, you are just bringing your intelligence and wisdom to vanquish the snake.
You know you are a good person, (even if you may have hurt someone, or did something bad). You use your wisdom to know that you have A TON of followers on here and you are CRAZY talented, and you have a great sense of humor. You make these videos for people like me, who are desperate for a good laugh....and you really make me smile. I know I’m not the only one either.... you teach people and entertain people, and you really help people. So no matter how you got here from your past, it led you here to enhance our lives by just being you. This is how the owls do......
ZeFrank, because of you and people like you, there are people like me that don't feel so alone in this sometimes alienating world. To some of my own monsters, you're one of my tools in my toolbox. Thank you to the Moon and back.
I'm fighting that snake battle myself right now in my life. Today more than most and I wanted to tell you how valuable and helpful your videos are to me. You put so much imagination and meaning into your words and work. It always makes me step back and rethink. You have helped me fight off many of my monsters and gotten me out of really emotionally dark places. Sometimes even just knowing I'm not alone in certain thoughts or feelings is enough. I hope you never stop making videos because what you do means a lot to people and that can never be 'shit'.
So whenever you have that snake monster, unplug his tail and think of all the good things you've done, any size, smiled at someone, help a stranger, helped yourself grow even a little. These actions have ripple can change someone's day. Like this video has for me. Everytime you think of something you did that was for the better unravel the snake a little. I found that looking at past me and seeing how I've changed for the better in that year or what I learned from month by month helps. Even if I'm not as far as I want to be. Even if I stepped backwards I learned something that can move me forward. Trying is worth more than we give it credit for and is always better than giving up and forgetting those things you tried to do because we labeled it a failure.
Thanks for all your hard work and sharing your thoughts and feelings with us all. We appreciate you.
Thank you for this! My monster is a butterfly that sits on my shoulders, whispering to me constantly. She whispers irrational words of worry and doubt, and I know I shouldn't listen, but I can't seem to help it. Like the monster herself, the words are faint but they linger and I can't let go of them. As for your snake, my advice is simple. Charm it with the music of your accomplishments and gratitude.
Dear Lovetherain, What do you suppose happens to butterflies…IN the rain? Maybe your 314 is your solution. Bye, wilted Butterfly.
karen traub Mayhaps this is why I find rain so soothing! :)
Feed it a cookie you've baked. The fabulous taste of the cookie will make it sleepy; at which time it just . . . slips off.
The "cookie you've baked" represents the achievements you've made and the people you've touched just doing what you do. The "insecurity snake" can't do anything against hard work and proof and eventually it just tires itself out.
I love this! Might try even thinking the whole process of "making" the cookie ( don't even have to use real ingredient/things ) ha ha ha hah ha haw I've got one of those but mines more just eyes in the dark. Thank you TalesofTim
You are incredible at inspiring new ways of thinking! Love you for that!
Snakes have almost always been portrayed as liars, Ze. Each lie is a layer of skin and as the snake sheds it's skin, it's just one more lie that falls away until the snake is gone.
Wow, that's pretty interesting. You will find that they are following you and not the other way around. It is so refreshing to see such an open and sharing person!
ZE, some people have IT, I don't know what it is, but you have IT. The sound of your voice, the depth of your soul, your willingness to share, There are those of us out here who love [yes, love] and trust you. But, you know that. Are these more personal demons? You can still share, I would not judge and I feel certain that I am not alone. Let us be your sounding board. I can't stand to think of you in pain.
He’s married, hun.
Thank you. In German we call them the abergeiste. I've learned myriad ways of dealing with them but it is not full proof and the success rate varies.
That I discovered your channels today and was led now to this one, so profound and moving this video is like a shift in dimension for me. Hard times is an understatement for my present life and the past few years but I don't focus on that. It wastes energy and changes nothing.
I will try to not obsessively watch all these videos immediately. A challenge as Ze Frank is wonderful to look at and either entertaining or comforting to listen to so naturally one wants more. Intelligence in others is intoxicating.
But I will go to something else now and continue tomorrow.
For all the efforts that I perceive you have put into your videos I hope you experience joy, peace and have much love in your life. Certainly you seem a lovable man.
Your words ring louder than anything I've ever heard. Upon a gentle scratch of the surface I'm utterly inspired by what shone through. Thank you.
Ze, thank you so much for giving me another way to think of these thoughts or feelings that we all get in one capacity or another. When they get uncontrollable and while you can rationally work out the root causes, as you say it's sometimes nice to push them into a place that's beyond rational in order to tackle them. I will try to think of this the next time I get into a rough spot. As for your snake problem, I really like Nicolas Tilford's suggestion - the snake is too busy looking you in the face and bringing you down to bother see where you are and what you've learned. More than that, I think it's a great help to know how many other people you've helped as well, and by reading through these comments, I know it's quite a lot. Cheers. x
I remember watching this in 2013. Watching it again now in 2015 makes me feel a little more connected. I'm so stuck right now and I truly wish I could give Ze some advice on how to calm the snake. I also miss these videos and I know Ze is very busy now with his other projects. My monster is always surrounding me in this negative mist. My worry, my negative self-esteem, my fears are all there ready to absorb any happy or positive thought I have. It sucks. Little things can push them away but not for very long. Ze I hope you still read these comments because I want to tell you what people say to me that helps. You are not alone.
there is a bit of comfort of knowing that our minds are so magnificent and we can agree there is so much to learn. ♡
I'm really glad you're back to producing some of this kind of content, Ze.
Your snake needs to read the thousands of supportive comments and insights people get when they watch your videos. Tens of thousands of people are touched by every video you make, and that influence spreads out into a vast network all the way to infinity. You are an infinite being and the amazing work you have done has already influenced many, many people. When the snake comes try picturing an infinity sign, or move the snake into a figure eight. Do something that makes you think of infinity. When you get this one, it will be big. Love to you, Ze.
Even 7 years later.
Really needed to see this right now - you have such a way with articulating what many people think and feel. This video was over seven years ago so I hope you found an effective way to deal with the snake (mine's right so no help from here, unfortunately :-)).
I'm learning more self acceptance because of watching your videos. If I'm having a really bad day, I'll listen to a few. If you ever have moments where you wonder whether you're making a positive difference in peoples lives please know that you are. You're positively impacting peoples lives all over the globe. You've sure helped me. Tell that to the snake monster.
Hear that Ze? Another mongoose [anti-venom] in the line-up!
Dear God, Ze. You hit the nail on the head as far as my life is concerned with every single one of these videos. I've been dealing with a couple HUGE ASS monsters inside me this week. . . Most are different from yours, but the snake thing you just have to realize that most snakes lack clear sight; they may be able to distinguish things moving but they don't really get the whole picture. This snake on your head can't see shit. If you give it some little snake glasses it will be able to see with absolute clarity that your life has been lived in a supremely worthwhile fashion, and will continue to be lived as such for many years to come, and nobody can take that away from you because for every one of them there are a thousand of us that will fight for you every step of the way.
Heres what you're gonna do with that one.... You're going to create someone to be on your side. It's going to look like love. It's going to feel like all the people who have ever been kind to you. It's going to sound like all the kind words and validations you've ever received. It's going to sound like you when you're okay, and you know your worth. It's going to feel like you when you're proud of yourself....... and it's going to hold that snake like a baby and love it.
Because you have to love it, it's part of you. When the parts of you that are hurting you..... are winning..... they don't need to be killed, or banished.... they need to be loved. If you don't have the ability to do it, you need to create the ability to do it. If your pain is represented by monsters, then the healer should be beautiful. A mender of broken hearts, a reminder of kind words, and the glue that uses love to put you back together.
RivenRaven Your response was incredibly helpful. Thank you!
:) You're welcome
+RivenRaven Wow! just WOW! What Ze just said made such perfect sense to me and was quite profound. Then you came along with this wisdom and blew my mind. I would love to see you 2 in an interview. I bet some jewels could be forged between you.
Thank you. I'd love to talk to him, I feel like we'd connect, but he's dropped off the radar and I don't know how to make contact.
+RivenRaven I tried to google it and I guess im not the only one who can't seem to figure out where this wonderful person has disappeared to, but i do know he still tweets idk if he'll reply to a tweet or dm but you can still try, i hope he posts one video one day, just one more. He doesn't owe us an explanation but you never know Ze is Ze
Thank you for this Ze, you make me feel sane. I have a bunch of little monsters running about inside me too - some similar to yours and some not. Although I am having a problem with my "snake" too from time to time, hes really hard to get rid of and I hate him. What I try and do it clear my head and sing to him a little, calm him down - make him less angry at everything. Soothe him. Or tickle him, and a couple other people have said :) make him a little happier. That way maybe he'll go a little lighter on us.
Can you please post videos again? I miss your videos so much!
Seconded!
Sometimes I feel like he is or he's starting something new somewhere else just to start small again with a new group of people. I worry I'm missing out.
Michael Rutter
He is in charge of things over at buzzfeed's youtube channels right now.
Ahatfromperu Thank you! I'm always worried that I'm missing out on an opportunity to support his work.
me too! stop being so elusive, Ze! We want to throw love at you!
Hey Ze, I just wanted to tell you how important your videos are to me and to all of us. You're like an older brother to the Millennial generation as a whole and your insights are always helpful to us. You're a goddamn inspiration man. Hang in there and keep making videos. We depend on you dude.
You need to run your metaphorical finger along the length of the snake. Like 'The Monster Book of Monsters' in Harry Potter, it will automatically relax. It will uncoil from your head and drop on the floor. You'll see it there, lying limply piled up on the floor and you'll know how much it really matters.
Thanks so much for this video! You always touch me close to my heart and make me feel not so alone
Ze, what's so remarkable about you is I whole heartily believe that you understand the human condition better than pretty much everyone in existence. How lucky are we to live in a time where we can access such amazing perspectives and ideas so easily!
I haven't figured out how to calm my monsters quite yet, but...I'm getting there...
You have to uncoil the snake. It has two sides. One side is covered with the times you've fucked up, and that side wraps around your head. The other side is covered in all the good things you've done, but you can't see it while it's wrapped around you. Only other people can see that side then. So you have to unwrap it, and see it from the other perspective: see the side the rest of us see.
Dang....that is a good answer.
Awesome resolution, but how to uncoil the snake?
When that snake is wrapped around your head making you see the things you've done as worthless, just stick your fingers under it and slide it off your head to clear your line of vision. Look past the negative snake and see how much GOOD you've done. I know I'm just speaking the rational thoughts you have that struggle to conquer the monsters, but maybe hearing it from someone else will make the rational good thoughts and feelings stronger than the bad. People are programmed to focus more on the bad than the good, but in reality good always outweighs the bad. Remember that those "squandered opportunities" just put you in the place to do some of the great things you've done. And you have done fantastic, amazing things.
Your videos on here, like this one, have changed my life. I will now be able to control myself a little better. I had no methods for calming myself down when faced with stress, anxiety, or depression other than my rational self telling my utterly human self that I was being weak and I should be ashamed. I've suppressed these feelings to the point where I can get physically ill, and I'm no longer a healthy, vibrant teenager. But with your method, now I'll admit to having those feelings and look them straight in the eyes and tell them to get lost instead of just pretending that they're not there.
So I thank you from the bottom of my monster-filled stomach, and I also would like to congratulate you on building this great community of intelligent, lovely people. And sorry for the long comment.
Despite the system of commenting being so messed up, a ZeFrank video is still filled with honest, inspiring and interesting comments.
How fucking cool.
On dealing with your snake, toot your own horn, as it were. Imagine a flute, and as you play it, it plays a song of all the amazing things you've done and the song begins to charm the snake so that it releases its grasp on you and your spine and eventually uncoils and drops to the floor.
I have definitely been attacked by that snake. Here's how I deal with it: the snake is strong, but he lives in the dark and his eyes are sensitive. You have to turn on the light, very bright, show him the truth. Shine all of your achievements and accomplishments down on that snake and he'll loosen his grip and wither away.
This is the most relatable video I've ever seen on this app and I've watched it a hundred times over the years. Thank you. Very much thanks for putting it into words.
I can definitely relate to the throat monster, especially when I have to do any kind of public speaking, or just when I'm really stressed about things. I'll try that trick next time he gets tense.
Need more of these please
I have a fog monster that floats around my head and clouds my vision of what I'd like to do and gives me distracting visions. To remedy it, I try to get some fresh air and a change of scenery.
Ze, I have been following your videos for some time now and this one really hit home for me. Thanks for doing what you do, and calming your monsters so we can calm ours.
I've figured it out. You're like the Mister Rogers for adults -- slow, meaningful talking, about things that matter -- giving each thing the thoughtfulness it deserves. That's what the greatness of this channel is.
As for the the snake... Perhaps try loosening up his coils a bit, so you can look around and see that he/she is wrong. You've done great, and you continue to do great. Maybe that'll loosen him up enough so that he falls off.
My monster is a bit like the snake -- he's the doubt monster. Mine doesn't look backwards, though; it looks forward. "Are you sure that's the best choice? You have all of these options, and any single one of them will be just fine, but are you sure you're picking the BEST one?"
Generally I can ignore him long enough and settle into whichever decision I'm making, but he always comes back. And he gets nerve-wracking. Couldn't tell you what he looks like, though.
Thank god for you! You feel like the "bestest" of friends, whether in the serious human videos or the funny animal ones. In all your vulnerable, goofy, hysterical and deeply wise ways you always make my day! Thank you!!!
This is like psychology meets Where the Wild Things Are. Big feelings that roar their terrible roars and gnash their terrible teeth. As far as solutions, if you've ever done a thumb wrestle, and someone tries to pull the Snake in the Grass trick, the obvious response is to do Lawnmower. It gets the snake every time.
wow this is so amazingly accurate to my life. I have dealt with these and others. I realized that the snake was blinding me from the positive results of my actions. I pulled him off in two ways the first was to loosen his grip, do this by taking just a few minutes at the end of every day to find some tiny good little thing that affected someone else for the better. start small, you helped someone to pick up papers they dropped. and over the next few days keep it in your head about how you can change other's lives. sit down and play with some kids. Do something that at the end of the day you feel like you really changed for the better. don't worry about the past and just live day to day for that one moment.
The second phase is harder but possible, take a day, scramble your daily norms and think about how much you have shaped this world. everyone has inspired his/her friends through his/her words and actions. everyone has grown up changing how his/her family viewed the world. everyone has taught something, learned something, discover something completely new, and most importantly you have made mistakes but the choices you consciously make are always to make things better.
Those decisions are something to really be proud of.
I am only 14, but right now more than ever, i get the snake. The thing is, there are monsters, and there are fairies. The fairies come out when you make people smile, and they fly behind your back when you aren't looking or paying attention and they take the snake's tail out of your spine. And sometimes the snake finds a way to plug itself back in, but if you keep making people smile, then you will smile. And everytime you smile and are happy the snake gets looser and looser until it falls off your head and slithers away.
This is a fantastic idea, Ze. I definitely have versions of those monsters too.
One possibility is to inject yourself with an anti-venom, and imagine the anti-venom moving through your body and up your spine until it enters the snake's tail and fills the snake up like a balloon until it loses its grip and floats away (or explodes, if you prefer).
I love the monsters idea so much. I internalize my 'monsters' and feel guilty about feeling and thinking things I know aren't true (and like you said, that leads to a downward spiral), and I feel like they might be easier to deal with if I think of them as being external monsters instead of my own inability to cope. Thanks.
I think that ultimately you have the power over "the snake". You created him within your mind, and you have the power to turn him into whatever you choose. I imagine the snake softening and turning into a nice cashmere scarf that falls from my face and feels soft on my neck. This visualization can represent that you will always be your best when you are kind to yourself, rather than cruel and judgemental.
I have my own monsters too, and as an illustrator, I sometimes draw them to deal with them. The worse is faceless girl who hides in the dark when I'm home alone. I just make myself talk to this monster, to realize she's not as scary as I think she is I think she represents my fear of dying before I've done something important.
Controlled, focused breathing, and an acceptance of the present will blow the snake away.
We love you, Ze. Never forget that.
I have a monster called Mr Mustache. He is very old-fashioned and conservative. He tells me that all I do and all I am interested in is just child's play and not a real work. I think that being aware of him is a good sign because now I can try to stop listening. Now I know that it's him talking, not me… (I'm really happy I stumbled on your channel, Ze. Feels like synchronicity because it's exactly what I needed).
Thank you thank you thank you for emphasizing that even though you know rationally and intellectually that there is no reason for having negative thoughts or depression that it’s still a very real and intense feeling. As real as anything else in your life. I think people who don’t suffer from depression don’t make that connection. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I'm still wanting to hear your wisdom again. It's hard to go alone.
I started watching your videos in high school. A few days ago I was trying to find things to watch which gave me comfort then - when it felt like the old man was giving too many unfixable todays in a row. Anyways, thanks for bringing me solace throughout the years. I got a sudden jolt when I realized how to help fight off one of my new monsters. Its a fly-like thing with serrated sword wings. When it flies it creates a buzzing cloud of negativity and its wings slice into some metaphysical energy reserve slowly draining me of motivation and leaving me near empty. I don't know how to fully subdue it yet, but being able to recognize and be excited about squaring off against it was really surprising and nice! Again, thanks so much for the content you have created and continue to create! I hope that you have found a way to subdue your snake :)
This is not so much a tool to help me but just something I do sometimes. I went to a summer program at an art school and I started this thing called emotional self portraits. Whenever we felt something not neutral we would try to express it in a drawing, kind of like the monsters. I'm not sure if it helped with the emotions or understanding them or not but it was kind of interesting to thing about the emotion so much that we had to put it into a picture.
Dear Ze,
Ive been watching your videos for over a year now, and your advice has shed light in the darkness i was once in. Im pretty sure because of your advice I've been able to straighten my back and carry on forward. IT really helps. Thanks so much for your words, your awesome.
To be honest I'm not sure what you go throuh or how you feel when procuring these videos, I'm sure these wise words come from somewhere. But they're really valuable to us that watch this seeking advice. Keep it up Ze.
Thank you for everything.
This is Ze Frank I fell in love with, the Ze Frank I originally subscribed to. Wish you had more time for stuff like this Ze.
I am quite pleased that you are uploading videos again, Ze.
how do you deal with your snake... read your comments! look at all the positivity you create! i seriously love your videos. they have helped me so much. you were the first 'vlogger' i ever watched back in like 2007 when i was 15. i go back to 'the show' videos frequently. some of the main things i value are kindness, humour, honesty, and intellect and you have them all and more.
whenever that snake comes around go to one of your youtube videos and read the comments because they're always great and pretty much prove that they aren't 'for nothing'. if i were you, they would make me feel awesome.
if this helps at all, when i think of a person i admire and look up to so much that there's no way i could possibly achieve that level of awesomeness, i think of you.
I watched this video a while ago and didn't really take much away from it, probably because I practiced much less self-reflection back then, but I am absolutely in awe of your use of metaphors. Even the lighting is significant: the light is rational and the dark is irrational and there is a battle between them.
About the snake issue, if it is still a problem, I would suggest that you fight it with the power of memories. Memories, to my understanding, are like distinct recipes that get ingrained into your brain cells, and when you re-live a memory, your body gets cooking and recreates the appropriate chemicals. So, pick a really awesome memory, something you did that you're undeniably proud of, and cook your chemical coctail to fight the venom of the snake. Once you begin, it should be easier to find some more great memories, and you will defeat your snake monster.
I've never taken an approach to my inner monsters/demons such as you have developed, I usually just try to stick it out until something good happens to counteract the darkness. But I like this. I will try it next time! Thanks for sharing :)
Remove the snake monster and wear him as a belt. Re-purposing him into something useful will remind you of your own capability.
Ze, I will just say that it is comforting to know that others suffer from the inner turmoils and monsters that I do. I am working on them as i see so many others are. Working together I think we can all pull through.
I know those monsters, Ze, they harass me too, they are bastards out to get us. I love your solutions to the first two (I will use them, thank you) and I have a suggestion for dealing with that snake, one that works for me. I imagine my head swelling with oceans of love. pops that fecker loose every time ... at least every time I remember to do it. I would love to talk to you one day. I love the way your mind works, and I love the beautiful soul that shines out of you. Never doubt yourself. You're doing good work. Thank you for all the smiles, the laughs, and the heartful sharing.
As far as the snake goes, I have to deal with it everyday! I best deal with it by realizing that I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. I try to recognize when I am acting like a willful child who just wants to have it "my way!!" and when I'm actually doing the right thing. The more I practice this the better I get at recognizing when my ego (my little fearful petty tyrant) is running the show.and then I can pay attention to the advice of my soul which tells me to do the right thing. Then I feel good about who I am and what I do. Ze, what you do is fantastic, because you are telling your viewers that you're a human, and that you fear your feelings are weird and unique, but they aren't!! So cool!
You have to charm the snake to get it off of your head. Use music to put the snake into a trance and it will relax, slide off of your head and unto the floor.
Thank you ze for sharing as much of your self as you did/could for as long as you did. I still find these videos so helpful in difficult times, It also cheers me to see/remember how you many people you collaborated with and sharing the spotlight with so along the way.
Maybe he's not a snake trying to choke you, but a blindfold trying to keep you from seeing clearly. And if he leaves you in the dark, invite him into that cave. And light a fire, and roast delicious things to share with him. He maligns your past because he's trying to protect you from taking chances in the future that might lead to failure. Reassure him with light and warmth and good food that neither success nor failure mean anything by themselves if you are on the journey with friends.
Your TH-cam videos are some of the most open and life changing videos I've ever seen. Sometimes I go through and rewatch all of them just to understand more. I just wish you made more because these videos make me think and I love them. As for your snake I think something you could do is have each little ring in it's tail represent something you think you've squandered or messed up or missed out on. And then go through and for everything that you know isn't true it takes of a ring of the tail. Slowly making the tail worthless and making it unable to pump anything into your spine
I have a thing sort of like a puffer fish in my chest-area. It's usually small & I forget it's there but when it puffs up I feel like I can't get enough air into my lungs & my heart starts beating faster. I have no idea how to calm that thing down once it gets goin'.
I've got this same one, and I haven't had much time thinking about how to deal with it yet, but I'm working on it. I do know that if you try to squeeze the air (or whatever it's full of) out of it all at once, you just get poked by its spikes. It's definitely something you've gotta take a little while and slowly deal with.
I arrived here just as this party was ending.
But even now, years after it ended, these videos and the leftover snacks still taste wonderful.
there was a snake i knew once... it lived in a glass box thing at the library. like a fish tank but.. with dirt and grass and leaves and a little pool with tiny gold fish for him to eat.
it was a grumpy thing, super bitey.
usually no one was allowed to pet it or tap on the glass or anything like that.
but once, late in the afternoon when there weren't many people around -- just me actually-- one of the librarians went over and took it out of the box.
that afternoon i learned that if you stroked under it's chin, lightly, while whispering to it, it would fall asleep in your hand.
so
maybe try that?
i don't know what you should whisper to it though.
i read him a story...
(the librarian told him he was pretty.)
It's a terrarium! :D
theloverobot yes that! i forgot the word
What I've found is the only way out is in. Letting the monsters just be instead of trying to rationalize why they shouldn't be there tends to calm them for me. It doesn't really make sense, but just trying not to fight it tends to relax the crush of the tentacles. And just!! Ze!!! Constantly, just, thank you for all of this. These videos make all the difference in the world to me.
Ze, the snake disappears when you look in the mirror to see there is no snake. He exists otherwise, but you must get up and walk up to a mirror to see that he disappears. My monster is the size of my body, and wraps itself over my skin turning my body invisible. It tricks me into thinking that I am powerless, and nothing. I beat him by going into the shower, and washing him down the drain. He doesn't like warmth, because he is so cold in his nature.
+pablo korona Thanks, I'm going to use this. Showering helps me too. Its sometimes the only place I am able to feel safe to cry.
Ironically, I just replied about it feeling like a snake swallowing me. *internet hug*
Nicholas 'UltimApe' Perry +
When you feel that something/someone makes you feel safe, know that that feeling of safety originates from within...it/he/she just reminds you of who you've always been.
I want to say this is one of the most personally relevant and touching things I have ever read, thank you for sharing.
@@pixiegamine Hearing this being able to relate to you made my day.
Ze, I know you probably won't read this, but this video was perfect for me.
Been struggling with the cute fuzzy bastard for the past 3 weeks. Your visualization of it helped me 'get' what's been going on with me.
As for the snake. Had a big issue with it for the last 2 years. More than once I was curled up in a ball on the floor for a few hours, emotions telling me I should just die and save the world some space, logic telling me I was being unreasonable. Doing preventative stuff is easier than dealing with it in the moment, but I've learned both.
For prevention of a snake attack, I don't trust myself with perscription meds, so cardio exercise(low intensity is ok) and writing down 3 new things you are grateful for every day gets you 80% out of the woods. Reduce caffeine intake or take L theanine(an amino acid) with your coffee are also good ideas.
For in the moment, I take on a big stance(superman), take a series of sighs while smiling and focusing on the relationships I'm grateful for. Takes 2 minutes, kills the snake, removes the venom. If you want the science behind it, let me know.
If you read this, thanks, and I hope it helps. The only antrdote to the venom is love. Has nothing to do with being worthy.
"I wait until he slides down my throat..."
Oh Ze, the imagery!
I have a monster I call the guilt fairy. He has even appeared in some of my earlier videos. His job is basically to undermine every achievement, good feeling or sense of contentment I ever feel in hopes I will one day give up and choose the easy way out. It has the ability to sour friendships, create suspicion and paranoia, and also justify despair. I used to think it was evil, something to be fought against, to wrestle with and destroy. But it can never be destroyed. It is as much as I don't like it a part of me, and in its own limited way it does serve a purpose. A self critical voice can on occasion keep you grounded. The thing is that sometimes people believe the critical voice in their heads too much and too often. The way I try to deal with it is reminding myself its one opinion among many and equal parts valid and as ill informed as everyone else. Also true evil is not something you fight and defeat. Its something you transcend.
I know exactly what you're talking about. The end of Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones followed this idea of inner evil being something you transcend, rather than fight... at the end, you face the dark prince, a personification of the darkness within yourself... if you hit him with a weapon, he only multiplies... the way to "defeat" him is to ignore him and climb a nearby set of stairs.
I deal with some of this by remembering that there's too much despair and unhappiness in the world as-is, and therefore no need for me to make more of it, and most importantly, no need to undermine any feeling of contentment or happiness I feel. No matter what makes you happy, whether it's something small and trivial or something unusual and unpopular, never regret the happiness you feel. Even in the worst cases of non-consensual sadism* and schadenfreude, you may regret the things and situations that *brought* you happiness, but the happiness itself is a definite good, and you should embrace, rather than be ashamed of, the happiness itself, for you have brought some light, joy, and comfort into the world, even if just for yourself.
TL;DR version: Look on the bright side of things, because good things *can* come from bad, even if it's not a net gain.
*I follow Jeremy Bentham's moral theory of Hedonistic Calculus, which basically states that the action that brings the most, longest-lasting happiness to the most people is the action that is the greatest good. If you can make other people happy, that's good. If you can make other people *and* yourself happy, that's even better. If you make someone else unhappy, that's bad, but if you make someone else *and* yourself unhappy, that's even worse. Not saying reflective guilt doesn't have a place, or that harmful actions should be repeated or hand-waved away, but at a certain point, you have to realize that punishing yourself won't undo or even prevent any wrongness on your part, and is just creating yet another victim.
Best wishes.
Thank you very much for that. I can tell that like me its something you've thought about for a long time. I tend to agree with you. Also props for referencing a video game. Not enough people do that.
I've been feeling exactly this way the past few hours, especially the snake and the long torso monster. Thank you this has been extremely helpful. I imagine taking the snake off my head and watching it as it slowly uncoils. As it stretches out further and further, thinner and thinner, I can start to see the reality of my past which was once hidden laid out like a road behind him, with all of the success of my past now in plain view.
Where is Ze? I've seen all of his videos and he is such a huge help and inspiration that I honestly can't put words into it. I'm scared he left TH-cam and he is never coming back. Please come back.
he is the head of buzzfeedvideo actually
I really really really appreciate you making these videos for us and for being so open. You mean a lot to me. Thank you for being so awesome
It has been more than a year since you posted this video though I only just saw it this morning. In trying to put words to your solutions for the snake monster, I read through many of the comments posted here below the video. My heart was filled with the responses of people who were genuinely listening, reflecting, identifying, and supporting you and, therefore, each other. I don't have a solution to your snake monster though in my mind I see that all snakes shed their skin. Perhaps it needs to be a cross between a snake and a butterfly. As it is gripping your head, it begins the transition to shed. But your good thoughts, and the love of those around you, changes a standard shedding into a chrysalis. At the end of the process the snake is no more, there is only the beauty of transition and maybe a butterfly.
You have my most heartfelt gratitude, Ze.
It really helped fight off the angst inside me.
I get that snake one too ze, I grab the snake by the head and shove him into one of those fake prank can things wear if u open up the lid then up the spring snakes fly out, and when the evil snake turns into a fun toy snake that pops out I see how all the things I've done can sometimes be funny and great and wacky and they always have the potential to be something everybody can enjoy or hate but it depends on the person to decide, and the outcome is different for each person
Happy to see you posting more videos over here, Ze! Thank you for these.
i used to visualize my anxiety, NOT depression, as a distorted version of myself. a demon. he would manifest by erupting through the top of my head, forcing himself out with these freakish hands which would emerge initially by sliding through a slit in my scalp and then would grap on to the sides of my open head and thrust him forward. hed always come in my moments of weakness or shame or uncertainty, he represented some kind of deep, visceral loathing and violence, within my psyche, and i began to attribute all my short comings to him. he woud whisper in my ear that he was all i had and that i was unfit for this society. i was some sort of maligned force and i would only bring destruction and misery to myself and others, I was alone, and that i would always be alone. i thought i might have been scizophrenic because i was so utterly neurotic that "it" almost developed an independant personality apart from my own. this scared me. ultimately, i determined that this entity was an irrational creature and that i needed to overcome him in order to be my self again. unable to reason him away, what i had to do was create a secondary impulse and train it into a gut response for every time i saw him. i trained my mind so that whenever he came around, the image of him would immediately be replaced by that of him falling from the roof a building, and through the windshield of my oncoming car. the sound of glass shattering, the thud on my car. the sheer physicality of that concept was shocking enough to effectively jolt him from my mind. in time, he was reduced to a momentary flash of his face, followed immediately by his utter destruction as he was mowed down. eventually, i had him under such control that i wouldnt even see him anymore, and when the circumstances that would normally bring him out did come, i merely saw black, and ultimately nothing at all. He was an odd ball who came from nowhere one night while i was taking out the trash, and initially i didnt know what to think about him. he creeped me out but i found him appealing and over a bout a months time he incubated in my mind into a true monster. hes gone now, but what he represented is still within me. i imagine all people carry a similar weight even if they dont recognize it. ive been a on a quest to cure my angxiety for about 4 years now and dealing with him was an important milestone. im not anywhere near "normal" but every day i feel i get closer.
Thank you so much for this video! I have a boy who is having troubles dealing with and controlling strong emotions, and this has led him to some very bad situations. This is a great way of trying to keep things under control. I'll be showing him this video as soon as he gets home.
It's a snake Ze you gotta charm it. Play it the flute of your successes and whistle it the tunes of time well spent; gradually it will become docile and it's coils will loosen their grip, finally it will fall off down your back and unhook itself from your spine.
Ze,
You make me feel like a weak individual, and although I hate this feeling,
I just never want to stop feeling it.
Hey Ze, what an interesting concept. I have a couple of monsters but one, is a big sticky mucous who sits at the bottom of my stomach. It's super heavy and weighs me down as soon as I get a moment to my self. She is basically just a blob of guilt that shuffles in the pit of me, telling me of all the things I should feel guilty for, whether it's not picking up my guitar or finishing a book, or mostly how I've hurt people in my past. In order to solve my first two problems, I just get my butt in gear and read or play, but when it comes to making amends with those who shun you, it can bear you down with every fleeting thought. I'm not sure how to shift that pain.
Thanks for your thoughtful videos Ze, they can play on my mind for months. :)
I have something a lot like that little snake too. Only, he's not a snake at all. He's a little man, all shriveled up and emaciated. He's made of this thick ooey, sticky, nasty tar, and he likes to sit at the very back of my head, and just whisper dreadful things to me, and touch all of my nice things with his hands and contaminate them with his goo. But he always smiles, this sickly sweet, overly large smile, like he means well. He's very patient and persistent, and he doesn't go away.
Eugh he sounds creepy. The only way I can think of to destroy the goo is to focus a really hot, drying beam onto it, like moving a torch or spotlight, or even some sort of indistrial hairdryer, around all the corners of your mind. Maybe it'll burn the guy out and clear away the residual rot on your things :/
moggycat99 That's a really good idea! Thank you!
+Miss Ona You're welcome :) kick that monster's butt
moggycat99 I'll try!
Simply magical and may well be the most perfectly timed video for me to watch. Thank you.
Ze, try sitting in a spinning computer chair, and center yourself (literally and figuratively) and then start spinning. When you get going fast enough, the centripetal force will cause the snake to unwind from your head and send it crashing into the wall. Boom. Ze 1 monster 0
I imagine there's a little strong man in the pit of my chest. Miniature, but otherwise built like a body-builder with a vicious temper. When something I don't like happens, sometimes it feels like he's using all his strength to squeeze at my heart and pound against my ribs to force me to lash out at the people around me or at myself. Poetry calms him down and if I can repeat some of his favorite verses from Shakespeare, he'll get tired and lose strength.
It's digging its tail into your spine to keep you from standing tall; it's also replacing your head with its own, instilling in you false sentiments about life while diverting and intercepting messages your mind needs to be recieving from your heart. You need to remind yourself that accomplishment is not a healthy currency of life, at least not the kind of accomplishment the snake is trying to convince you is important. Reminding yourself of the monumental things you have achieved is only paying the snake in the currency it lusts after, in the long run it can only make the snake stronger and more capable in preventing the meaning in your life from reaching your consciousness. Life should only be measured in meaningful interactions and relationships--love that lasts only moments or for decades. Any value you will derive from this life, when all is said and done, will come from those wonderful interactions; it's not about what you have done that the world can see, but what you've done and experienced that can't be seen broadly at all. There is a very weak correlation between having those interactions and worldly success. Next time you feel that snake constricting you, focus on the signals your heart is sending out and follow them as they reach your spine. Guide them from your spine to your mind, and keep them from taking the wrong path to the snake--don't let the snake have a single one. Remember that snakes can survive for a very long time between meals, so keep in mind that it will be there for a while and try to feed it as infrequently as you possibly can. The ultimate goal is to starve it out. It will also be more prone to leaving if you can pinch its tail with your spine by standing up tall. Go out and have interactions with people that will make you stand tall; love others and be open to being loved if you can. The more true meaning you bring yourself through love, the taller you'll stand, and the more uncomfortable the snake will be. Good luck on your journey Ze, it won't always be easy, but you seem like a really mindful and capable guy, and I'm incredibly confident that you'll get rid of that snake sooner than you thought was possible.
Wow, I'll be honest, this comment made me tear up. I know I have my own snake, and I think I've been needing to hear this for a while.
Ze, you have made a difference in many people's lives. You have make people laugh, think and be inspired. Those are your weapons for the snake. Perhaps try and identify three specific achievements (not necessarily big achievements, but ones that are important to you) and imagine each as a type of weapon to defeat the snake.
Take a nice memory, wrap it in candy foil and feed it to the snake and when it asks you what it just ate, tell him: "That was what you called shit."
RIGHT ON !!!
This has become scarily more relatable as time has gone on for me
That's why it is important to discuss it while we are still young. Learning how to cope is something you get while you grow, and you never finish learning since it is part of the book of life, but searching for tools from others helps streamline the process.
Good luck with your monsters.