Dude I just found your channel, and it’s actually scary to me how much you remind me of myself at you’re age. I’m only like 5 years older than you but I can’t believe what a difference these 5 years have made. But I’ve had all the same experiences. Social anxiety, test cycles, alcoholism, etc. best advice I can give is to stay away from alcohol, and the test too(sorry to say it), and find something positive to get involved in. People like us are obsessive. Oddly enough people like us can be the most successful people in the world or we can completely destroy ourselves. The key is to channel the obsession into doing something positive that you’re passionate about. You can become crazy successful in life. Just make the right choices. I wish I would’ve done so sooner, but I’m getting started now
@@jordann.6179 it’s injecting testosterone. Typically you do a “cycle” which is a 3 month period but some guys will stay on for life. Honestly not a good idea though
Damn you are so right. Ive struggled with social anxiety my whole life and you're right - we are obsessive but I think provided we put that obsession into something productive, we can really, really excel. Ive put my time I would be going out and drinking into my passion for the outdoors - hiking, exercising, etc. I stay in better shape and always look better. One weekend of drinking at this point in my life ruins my entire week, tbh. Because I cant do less than 3-4 beers (then probably more).
I am 45 now, but I started out just like you. I had undiagnosed anxiety/depression/trauma as a teenager from the loss of my father as well as social anxiety/panic attacks which in turn led me into later years drinking/drugs but then literally becoming a "Functioning alcoholic" for many many years. I am now 4 years sober and literally can't stand the smell of alcohol or be around it and trust me ppl who knew me as well as my family I shocked them for as much as I drank and hid daily. I was on several different antidepressants over those years that never worked at all and two suicidal attempts where my heart stopped and was "paddled" to be brought and spent several days in ICU in a drug induced coma due to grammal seizures from it all. Please get the help you need, you have the potential....I see it in you.
my friend, i most certainly will. we are in this together. thank you for your words it serves as motivation to help you and others like you. beating social anxiety is my life mission right now and i will not stop till i beat it because it is disabling my social and literally my entire life everyday. i’m sick of it as i’m sure you are. i will beat it, follow me and i will help you and others with what is helping me. just got a new script for zoloft this morning. will try this later down the road. i’ve got surgery next week, but then will give this a shit and update you and everyone else. it’s supposed to be insanely good for social anxiety. stay strong, stay motivated. stay in touch. cheers brew
my dude hell yeah. stick to it. thankfully i was able to quit my coke addiction a couple months ago. i was doing it every weekend. it was like every time i drank i craved it. but was getting more and more side effects from it. now it’s other drugs and mainly alcohol that i need to quit. like you say it definitely is not easy, especially when the weekend rolls around. it’s only thursday now and i’m sitting here like damn.. i kinda wanna go out. but i’m not going to. it’s nice to know you are in the same shoes as me. stay strong, stay in touch, and stay sober my friend. we can do this shit.
Hi Joseph. Today is my day 1 off being sober from coke and alcohol too. I can't do one without the other and I don't have an option anymore but to stop. Today I have stayed sober. Hope your doing well brother ♡
I was 91 days sober, but gave in and drank because I missed the feeling of being able to talk and be calm. But woke up in the same situation, blah getting wasted again just made my mental 10x worst. After seeing this it definitely makes me feel ready to get back on track. #day1
Yep. I think a big part of it is age. I’m 34 now - I was a heavy drinker all through my late teens and 20s. I have social anxiety and it’s always “helped” me. However I always felt like shit after, way anxious, and embarrassed of my actions or what I said. It’s a temporary band aid that just beats your body up from the inside. Congrats on taking steps toward sobriety!! And good luck.
Similar boat .. i'm 28 but i started to detest the way and reasons I would consume alcohol around late 2019. It started to feel more like how u said a "band-aid". Hope i can continue this path though 👍
I got a lot of respect for you posting these videos. I hold back on these things on my channel although I'm going through similar things. Keep strong man, people looking up to you.
Listening to your story which is related to mine you need to be done forever. You go back to it you will end up down the same road. One day at a time bro. You got this.
Its my day one. I have drank every day for several years now and I have forgotten what it is like to wake up without a hangover. Still midday and I am feeling fine but by the evening I will be struggling. Vids like these really help
Hey man, just found your channel and I can relate to you so so much.. Self medicating, trying all the racetams, alcohol.. It has helped me make friends but switched off my intuition and ability to get to know myself better.. 9 months and one week sober today.. I never thought I'd make it. My social anxiety has been fading out. It turned out I had massive nutritional deficiencies.. It's been eye opening. Encouraging to hear your story, I don't feel so alone..
Congrats! Honestly you are good looking, great personality, you have a wonderful smile and laugh, and yes drinking does help ( I’ve used it for social anxiety ) but you will learn within time with meditation if you do that or with a therapist that your confidence will boost. Took me til my late 20’s like 28-30 (now 30) that I feel so much better confidence wise and it helps social anxiety and let conversations flow easily. You are NOT the only one. Light and love to you 💜
❤️ pls be careful going cold turkey, alcohol & certain drugs can cause serious & dangerous effects when stopped immediately after consistent use.. wishing you all the best with your journey, i can relate to a lot of what you have spoken on in your videos. Thanks for sharing 🙏😌
Hey! First time viewer of your channel- I appreciate your vulnerability so much. Especially as a man, where we’re supposed to be stoic and emotionally closed off to society. I have a similar background with social anxiety, testosterone (as a treatment for other health matters), and addiction. You’re not alone. Don’t be too hard on yourself when it comes to sobriety or the anxiety itself. Radical acceptance is the number one thing that’s helped me get through life, and more importantly- a hard time like the pandemic. Radically accept that you’re living with anxiety, an addiction, and any other issues you deal with daily. Be honest with yourself. I’m not saying it’s easy, and I’m still learning. Just wanted to share since you seem to be in a similar boat. The number one thing that helps me to deal with my addictive tendencies is a “purpose.” For some people, that’s a sobriety community, career, family, etc. For me as a creative, it was becoming something bigger and sharing my art with the world. I’m still on that journey, but it keeps me sober and motivated. Something I learned years after college (I’m now 30) is that drinking and drugs are heavily promoted like a “game,” or even competition amongst our peers. It feels good in the moment, especially when others are doing the same and rooting you on. College culture really has to change in regards to this. It’s okay to have fun in moderation, but so many people go overboard and put themselves on the track to addiction for the rest of their lives. Life can be a party, but in a positive way. Your drug of choice can be music, art, or whatever hobby you enjoy. Find yourself with the help of your loved ones and professionals, if you need it. Really hone in on that thing that makes you “you” and move forward. This won’t work for everyone but I thought I’d share how my journey has lead me to a much better place and I’m so happy we’re talking about these issues openly in 2021.
Omg this hit home for me. We are the same! Learning about my social anxiety is fairly new journey that I've acknowledged. Alcohol helps me a lot with social situations which is not ideal for the meds I started taking, I get extremely unmotivated and tired. It feels like a weight off my shoulders to find others going through the similar situations. I don't feel alone in this. Wish you the best of luck.
GOOD FOR YOU!! DON'T SELF MEDICATE, MY HUSBAND DID THAT CAUSE HE HAS ADD AND TOURRTTES, AND DRAK ALOT MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE, DRINKING WILL NOT HELP YOU , ITS NOT GOOD FOR YR HEART, AND HEALTH, IL PRAY FOR YOU , SO YOU KEEP SOBER😊🎉🎉 GOOD FOR YOU ..KEEP IT UP....
It's my day 1 today :) hope you are hanging in there! I totally relate to the inability to control your emotions, I cry and get chills over anything slightly sappy lately haha. You can do this!
I've been on a downward spiral for about 10 years since my career took off and I've become more and more isolated in my personal life. It has started to show itself as anger and depression the past few years, and I realize it's destroying all of the relationships I still hold dear. INTJ here. Today is my day 1, and I'm starting to seek the support and professional help I need. Thank you for your videos and honesty. Wish me luck!
It took me a DUI to be the slap in the face I needed to quit drinking.. I have also lost 2 great jobs this year due to my drinking.. I know I am an alcoholic, I just never wanted to admit it. Today I have 3 weeks no booze or cigarettes! When I quit my day 1 was nothing like yours, I definitely had terrible, terrible withdrawals. You're making the right choice!
Hey Ben, your personal concerns have really touched me. You describe having social anxiety etc. You seem very genuine and sensitive to me in a world where people get success from being fake. I don't think you do make the connections with people as you do when you are young. The world is a cynical place. Don't put yourself down for a start. Also, psychology has a label for everything. And alot of these labels have self deprecating symptoms. Perhaps rather than focusing on the psychological, focus on the spiritual. Seek a good shaman for guidance. You are still young and from what I can remember the 20s were a lonely decade. Don't be too hard on yourself XX
Thanks for sharing your story, it really means a lot to see and hear honest heart felt story like these beach use everyone has a demon that they are dealing with. I am a mother of 3 kids, wife and my parents live with me. Occupation Nurse. Started of drinking for fun as a teenager and as I got older used it as a crutch to relive “Stress “. I wake up feeling awful, unproductive fighting to work and keep up with my kids, every day is a struggle and I have no one to talk to about it, because people think when your doing ok in life you should complain or have a problem. Today is my day 1. Putting my Trust in God and staying away for alcohol. I’ve stop for 30 days and when I started it back it seem like shit got worst so I have to stop I think about my kids and husband. Thanks again for sharing.
Hey Ben, I’m curious about how your sobriety journey is going? I’m 25 and suffered from alcoholism since I was 17. I’m now almost 6 months sober and this video resonated with me. I’ve been through the cycle over and over for years until I finally made the choice for myself. It’s super tough, but it’s worth it in the end. Hit me up if you ever need someone to talk to or help hold you accountable on the journey!
you seem like a good guy, idk why this came up on my home page but i totally understand these type feelings. I feel i have different effects on my life but i definitely feel the 25 and struggling with these things. Me personally im beginning to feel all the evil in everyone close to me. Intentionally isolating myself to preserve what i feel is right kind of. Hard topic but also a necessary one i feel
Congratulations Ben. The decision to take control of your alcohol use takes a lot of self awareness, courage , and determination! How are you using the time you now have living sober? You have the ability to do great things with your life....never forget that!
Just found your channel a few days ago. I swear your the Male version of me. Have alwaysed had social anxiety and been drinking alot alone for the past 5 years. Glad I'm not alone. Your stronger then you think. Your awsome. Please keep posting,
haha dude i’ve lost my car before. that was not a good morning lol. and my friend thank you very much. glad i was able to make you laugh and thanks for the sub. stay in touch. cheers brew.
@@benmayz202 yeah you did make me laugh and I appreciate that! Don’t feel alone in this struggle, i related to almost everything you said haha, hope you work it all out
You are doing great! You seem to be really good at reflecting your own behavior, and you are courageous enough to open up about it. That's a great start many people lack. I wish you all the best! :)
Thanks for sharing your story. Very brave of you to share your emotions in a society where a lot of men don't feel like they can. Your honesty and genuineness is very relatable. I feel like a lot of people go through or have gone through the same things, but feel like they are the only ones. Looking forward to another video!
Coming from a very similar place of normalized alcohol and drug use, I support you. You want better for yourself--dont complicate it any further. You deserve it. "I have never met any one who stopped drinking whose life got worse." Think about that any time drinking seems like the easy solution.
wow that really hits hard right there. very well said my friend. and very true, neither have i. thank you for your support, your words of motivation, and kindness.
THANK YOU for sharing your story with us and being brave enough to put it all out there. I sent your channel to my 23 year old son who is struggling with everything you have and are. To show him, he's not alone in these feelings and anxiety and drinking. He seems to want to make that change now after so many rocky days which are always tied to drinking. I sure hope you post more and continue to allow us to watch your journey. Thank you so much God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. That's MY higher power, but if anyone has a different belief or none, these words still work for however you want to use them on your own. You don't have to use GOD in the saying, Im sure you know this, Im just saying this for anyone else struggling now and reading thse comments 🤗 I look forward to watching you grow 🤗
I can relate to many things you’re going through. I wasn’t able to fix my alcohol addiction until I figured out my anxiety meds. Once I became less anxious, the alcohol cravings had gone way. In one of your videos you mentioned T shots for anxiety. Definitely helps!
If you go to an AA meeting you will meet people who understand and will help you. My son went to an AA meeting at 26 and never looked backed - he is very successful today at 40 with a family. He actually found God through his journey. God bless you. ❤️
The one problem is AA is entwined with the push towards religion. That's what sent me out the door to find real help, from a doctor. I cannot see how it works unless you pledge allegiance to some higher power. As a devout atheist I couldn't listen to drunk men hailing the lord above. It is US and only US who can get clean.
agreed. boredom is recipe for disaster for people like me. i’m trying to find happiness in sober activities and simple things like reading, hiking etc. as for bjj i actually plan on doing this once my surgery is over and i’m rehabbed. maybe kickboxing to start and progress towards bjj. thanks for your comment my friend. till next time
Have the same issues. Yes you need to occupy your time with something. I did kickboxing for awhile until that gym shut its doors. I bought an old motorcycle to work on.
I think you are very insightful and should trust your intuition/ gut. You identify concerns about the alcohol use, so take notice. I see you as a very empathic and sensitive person. Nurture yourself.
I used to drink to self medicate and give me "confidence" I understand about drinking to help me socialise and feel comfortable. I rarely drink now but I can relate to what you've said.
Hey Ben just found the channel- have you continued your sobriety? I am going on a year and a half and it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time. Hope you’re doing well.
Spot on brother. I just really been making my health the priority. Eating good , exercise ect. I'm several months no alcohol and it's been great, no bullshit lol but dude when u mentioned waking up in the a.m after a night of drinking wondering what happend, was the worst for me lol sometimes I'd just start a reg convo up with the people and would pray they wouldn't ask " do you remember lastnight?" 😂😂 god it's giving me a hint of anxiety just thinking about it lmao
I am an alcoholic, 16 years sober. I used AA and it was very very helpful. Plus there are built in friends there, all people that party like I do. Give it a try.
During my partners struggle with sobriety(he's 6 years sober now) an ambulance driver attending him said that he should "never quit quitting", he carried that release of failure, and sense of determination to heart. It gave him hope, and reality of a sometimes bumpy road, but always going in the direction of his destination. Every day can be a struggle when stressors are higher, but the road is smoothe sailing now... Never give up on the destination
yes, drinking or doing drugs could actually make your progress go backwards.. something about it you are worth the fight for come whatever you're dealing
Thank you for your story I'm a blackout drinker myself I can only imagine how you feel that's why I've been 13 days sober for 2022 I'm tired of waking up wondering what the hell I did the night before or if the cops are after you or anything that alcohol is related to I'm grateful to be 13 days sober thank you for the video it was really helpful God bless you sir
You got this. I’m at day 1110 ( yes 3 + years) 😳 so proud but still struggle with wanting to drink.. being sober was just personal choice of challenging and seeing if I could overcome my anxiety without using alcohol to be social and have fun. LOL unfortunately I’ve turned into a complete hermit but I’m trying my best and still sober ❤️ Hope all is well in your journey.
I'm slightly confused, and please don't think I'm saying any of this to sound like I'm being down or mean, but I just watched a video from 3 months ago of yours where you said you have no friends, which made me presume you meant literal, and now I see this video where you say all you do with buddies is/was drink. I only ask this because as a person with same anxiety issues quite a lot alike, but I really literally have nobody to call a friend unless I include my sister and mother, but other than them I have nobody, so did you make friends within the 3 months of the pervious video? I mean that's awesome if you did it shows your actually making progress on your anxiety which is always a plus, or, when you said you have no friends did you mean you do have friends but your anxiety got the better of you in the video and made you say you had no friends? wow I feel like a Karen saying this but I 100% am curious in a good way so please don't think I'm hating on your videos/progress.
i’m pasting my reply to another person who asked this on my 1st music festival video, as this is a great question. thank you for asking. notice this was mainly with my girlfriend who i had built a relationship with and was able to get comfortable. i am an extrovert but social anxiety has ruled my life these past years as i explain in my earlier video that you watched. by the time we are out and about in social situations i am already half drunk etc.. sucks even admitting this but it’s true. i have to in order to socialize. notice my latest video, i talk about getting sober because it has actually created a problem for me. as for the drinking buddies, well at least for me, i came to find that no of them were really my friends, they were just that drinking buddies who eventually even the few i had fell off after several weeks of getting plastered. i found myself alone, never really even made any true friends, and with a drinking problem that i had to continue to keep in order to keep my social situations tolerable and possible. hope this answers your question. thank you for the comment and question though :) take care thehappylife:)
@@benmayz202 man I have so much respect for how open you are about this and it goes to show you're a genuine person. I've had no friends and zero confidence for the last 15yrs so I know the struggle, I've had friends but just always pushed them away, when asked to join in with activities I always found excuses and never participated and its brought me to where I am now with nobody, but I think no matter what age you are, the littlest of actions can lead to the biggest changes so just keep hanging in there and who knows 1 day you will look back on how life was for you. keep being strong, count them days of being alcohol free and just take the days 1 step at a time. keep being awesome buddy :)
I can relate SO much! I also suffer from social anxiety and I recognize how alcohol helps calming down on social events and when trying to sleep (I have insomnia too). But of course, I want to avoid doing it often (specially at home), since I may develop some kidney disease. Very recently I started trying having no alcohol at all and I hope my organism gets used to it soon enough.
I love your videos! You're so honest and I love how all your videos you're just trying to better yourself! I feel everything you're saying, Christ is the one who completely filled me🤎🤎🤎 I'm praying all is well
i saw your video about having social anxiety and literally checked your other vids to see if you also had some kind of relationship with alcohol. The two seem to go hand in hand....i relate to you so much bruva. Has been very insightful to hear your experiences that I also relate to very much. Sending good vibes
I was in a similar cycle, self medication with alcohol in social situations in the beginning . I was embarrassed to tell my doctor and gradually things got worse. I started drinking most days for nearly 2 years. I ended up health issues caused by the alcohol, acid reflux and blood tests showed my kidney and liver function were greatly reduced. Those health issues was my turning point. Been sober 1 year and organ function is back to normal. Talking to my doctor about anxiety was the best thing Ive ever done.
Im in the same boat. I only drink to be social. Becuase i still want to have friends and have fun but my aaniety stands in the way. and i get addicted to the feeling of being drunk because it chases the anxiety awaay for small time. But alcohol is not helping me long term. Im with you, im quiting today and gonna go for 90 days. Im with your bro
I am on day 6 of sobriety not feeling well please pray for me i am have been alcoholic for 7 years daily drinking from last 3 years its terrible and currently in misery due to it😔
assuming you follow me on instagram and saw my story? but yeah man im stoked. have always wanted to go since i was a kid. i will definitely be vlogging the entire trip and uploading it. thanks for the sub
I know this video was 2 years ago but I would love to hear your update if you are comfortable sharing. I am in this position right now, and everything you’re saying I relate to.
Well this is like looking in a mirror for sure. I’m on day 7. I think I’ve said everything you’ve said in this video to myself. Trying for 30 days for probably the 20th time:
dude i think your a lovely person and i really dont wanne annoye you, but i think god has a plan for your life man. I just wanted to say that i myself had struggled with social axiety and trough my faith it got better, way better. Just wanted to let you know and maybe encourage you to look into that whole jesus thing., i mean you dont got anythingt to lose. Keep it up man, wish u the best. much love! =) ( sorry for my not perfect englisch)
@eric peterson Well, here is some good news IMO... because of my bipolar disorder and anxiety I HAD to stop all of that stuff. When you finally do walk away from it, the longer you stay away from it the easier it becomes. Just remembering the amount of anxiety it caused me on my come-down days is bad enough to keep me from over-indulging.
@eric peterson Alcohol especially was a temporary band-aid for me. And every morning, when the band aid came off, my anxiety was worse than the week before and it didn't reach a peak, it just got worse and worse... and now I regret taking so long to stop because I wonder how much less damage I would have done to myself mentally. That's how I look at it and has been the mentality that has helped me. I hate having these issues - I'd rather not be able to 'escape' them and them stay the same, than escape them for a day here and a day there and them get significantly worse if that makes sense. You got this. Take it slow, don't be too hard on yourself, just hold yourself accountable.
Dude, we have a lot of commonalities. Like I've detached myself socially to the point where even typing this comment feels off if you know what I mean. Alcohol does temporarily cure the brain fog though, but you're correct that it's not sustainable. So, I've been relatively sober for the past few months and I can honestly say I hate it at times, but I was worse off before. Negative introspection still dominants my mind, but your videos are showing me possibilities. Like throwing away the self-mediocrity or deceit I somehow continue to perpetuate. I, like you, am literally fed up with it, because it's just a bunch of bullshit tbh. I'm also in a fraternity, which I joined purely for social interaction. Like you, I'm having a weird adjustment period that I'm hoping is just intermittent. I just want to aquire contentness at this point, but we'll see what these next few years hold. I wish you luck though my dude, life's a conundrum and we just gotta embrace what makes sense to us.
My parents also have rough past. And it is so much easier to drink more than only two drinks. Sometimes it works, but yes. And i think it is very important not to whip ourselfs if we gonna drink, sometimes. And then always start again, and get more wiser everytime or something. Maybe in future we really can drink only 2 and enjoy it more than 20 drinks in past. If don’t wanna quit totally.
ive lost evrerything due to alcohol and drugs, my fiance, my daughter, home, cars , jobs, friendships, im about to go to jail in a week , i have d5 duis and im 28 yr old, i can not keep living this way, i am at the lowest point of my life, today is my day 1
Yes, I feel like I am always MORE anxious and MORE emotionally unstable the day/ days after drinking. I feel like it messes with my blood pressure and my heart is racing the day after.
@@lbaz0710 Agreed! luckily that is not my personal preferred unhealthy coping mechanism. I still notice these less than desirable side effects when only social drinking here and there, and when I have in the past more consistently drank . But seriously, some days the subtle negative side effects make me thinking about trying to be completely #saucefree 🤔
Dude I just found your channel, and it’s actually scary to me how much you remind me of myself at you’re age. I’m only like 5 years older than you but I can’t believe what a difference these 5 years have made. But I’ve had all the same experiences. Social anxiety, test cycles, alcoholism, etc. best advice I can give is to stay away from alcohol, and the test too(sorry to say it), and find something positive to get involved in. People like us are obsessive. Oddly enough people like us can be the most successful people in the world or we can completely destroy ourselves. The key is to channel the obsession into doing something positive that you’re passionate about. You can become crazy successful in life. Just make the right choices. I wish I would’ve done so sooner, but I’m getting started now
Inspiring me too,i have all the habits you had.It's time to chang ...
What are test cycles? (Genuine question lol)
@@jordann.6179 it’s injecting testosterone. Typically you do a “cycle” which is a 3 month period but some guys will stay on for life. Honestly not a good idea though
Damn you are so right. Ive struggled with social anxiety my whole life and you're right - we are obsessive but I think provided we put that obsession into something productive, we can really, really excel. Ive put my time I would be going out and drinking into my passion for the outdoors - hiking, exercising, etc. I stay in better shape and always look better. One weekend of drinking at this point in my life ruins my entire week, tbh. Because I cant do less than 3-4 beers (then probably more).
Awesome to hear!
I am 45 now, but I started out just like you. I had undiagnosed anxiety/depression/trauma as a teenager from the loss of my father as well as social anxiety/panic attacks which in turn led me into later years drinking/drugs but then literally becoming a "Functioning alcoholic" for many many years. I am now 4 years sober and literally can't stand the smell of alcohol or be around it and trust me ppl who knew me as well as my family I shocked them for as much as I drank and hid daily. I was on several different antidepressants over those years that never worked at all and two suicidal attempts where my heart stopped and was "paddled" to be brought and spent several days in ICU in a drug induced coma due to grammal seizures from it all. Please get the help you need, you have the potential....I see it in you.
After 20 years of smoking weed and drinking I’ve had enough ... I’m a addict n my names Brittney. Prayers for all going through this..
Hey Brittany how r you now
Please keep uploading videos. I have social anxiety as well and it sucks i know but its good to know I'm not alone.
my friend, i most certainly will. we are in this together. thank you for your words it serves as motivation to help you and others like you. beating social anxiety is my life mission right now and i will not stop till i beat it because it is disabling my social and literally my entire life everyday. i’m sick of it as i’m sure you are. i will beat it, follow me and i will help you and others with what is helping me. just got a new script for zoloft this morning. will try this later down the road. i’ve got surgery next week, but then will give this a shit and update you and everyone else. it’s supposed to be insanely good for social anxiety. stay strong, stay motivated. stay in touch. cheers brew
@@benmayz202 where are you? Are you okay? Just checking in.
Its my day 1 as well, quitting cocaine and alcohol. stay encouraged. it won't be easy, but were in this together.
my dude hell yeah. stick to it. thankfully i was able to quit my coke addiction a couple months ago. i was doing it every weekend. it was like every time i drank i craved it. but was getting more and more side effects from it. now it’s other drugs and mainly alcohol that i need to quit. like you say it definitely is not easy, especially when the weekend rolls around. it’s only thursday now and i’m sitting here like damn.. i kinda wanna go out. but i’m not going to. it’s nice to know you are in the same shoes as me. stay strong, stay in touch, and stay sober my friend. we can do this shit.
Hi Joseph. Today is my day 1 off being sober from coke and alcohol too. I can't do one without the other and I don't have an option anymore but to stop. Today I have stayed sober. Hope your doing well brother ♡
@@emr1961 you got this. stay strong. one day at a time
@@benmayz202 thank you Ben 🙏🏼
How's it going Joseph?
I was 91 days sober, but gave in and drank because I missed the feeling of being able to talk and be calm. But woke up in the same situation, blah getting wasted again just made my mental 10x worst. After seeing this it definitely makes me feel ready to get back on track. #day1
Hows day 14 going?
Um. Is it just me or is this guy giving me “not telling the truth” vibes?
Did you get that at all? Just wondering. I’m a recovering drug and alcohol addict and something doesn’t feel right with this dude
Like he’s always smiling about it? It’s just off putting and his rambling and weird. JUST NOOOOO! It’s fucking off
How are you now?
“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”
Yo
Yep. I think a big part of it is age. I’m 34 now - I was a heavy drinker all through my late teens and 20s. I have social anxiety and it’s always “helped” me. However I always felt like shit after, way anxious, and embarrassed of my actions or what I said. It’s a temporary band aid that just beats your body up from the inside. Congrats on taking steps toward sobriety!! And good luck.
Similar boat .. i'm 28 but i started to detest the way and reasons I would consume alcohol around late 2019. It started to feel more like how u said a "band-aid". Hope i can continue this path though 👍
Day 1 here. Anxiety through the roof :(
Gonna hang in here. It’ll pass. 🙏🏻
I got a lot of respect for you posting these videos. I hold back on these things on my channel although I'm going through similar things. Keep strong man, people looking up to you.
I'm making this my day 1 too, I've had so many day 1s before. This time I feel more confident. Thanks for the push in the right direction
Listening to your story which is related to mine you need to be done forever. You go back to it you will end up down the same road. One day at a time bro. You got this.
Its my day one. I have drank every day for several years now and I have forgotten what it is like to wake up without a hangover. Still midday and I am feeling fine but by the evening I will be struggling. Vids like these really help
Hey man, just found your channel and I can relate to you so so much.. Self medicating, trying all the racetams, alcohol.. It has helped me make friends but switched off my intuition and ability to get to know myself better.. 9 months and one week sober today.. I never thought I'd make it. My social anxiety has been fading out. It turned out I had massive nutritional deficiencies.. It's been eye opening. Encouraging to hear your story, I don't feel so alone..
Today is my day one. Thank you for the video.
I am sober too! Congrats on moving forward in your sober journey.
Congrats! Honestly you are good looking, great personality, you have a wonderful smile and laugh, and yes drinking does help ( I’ve used it for social anxiety ) but you will learn within time with meditation if you do that or with a therapist that your confidence will boost. Took me til my late 20’s like 28-30 (now 30) that I feel so much better confidence wise and it helps social anxiety and let conversations flow easily. You are NOT the only one. Light and love to you 💜
❤️ pls be careful going cold turkey, alcohol & certain drugs can cause serious & dangerous effects when stopped immediately after consistent use.. wishing you all the best with your journey, i can relate to a lot of what you have spoken on in your videos. Thanks for sharing 🙏😌
Hey! First time viewer of your channel- I appreciate your vulnerability so much. Especially as a man, where we’re supposed to be stoic and emotionally closed off to society.
I have a similar background with social anxiety, testosterone (as a treatment for other health matters), and addiction. You’re not alone. Don’t be too hard on yourself when it comes to sobriety or the anxiety itself. Radical acceptance is the number one thing that’s helped me get through life, and more importantly- a hard time like the pandemic. Radically accept that you’re living with anxiety, an addiction, and any other issues you deal with daily. Be honest with yourself. I’m not saying it’s easy, and I’m still learning. Just wanted to share since you seem to be in a similar boat.
The number one thing that helps me to deal with my addictive tendencies is a “purpose.” For some people, that’s a sobriety community, career, family, etc. For me as a creative, it was becoming something bigger and sharing my art with the world. I’m still on that journey, but it keeps me sober and motivated. Something I learned years after college (I’m now 30) is that drinking and drugs are heavily promoted like a “game,” or even competition amongst our peers. It feels good in the moment, especially when others are doing the same and rooting you on. College culture really has to change in regards to this. It’s okay to have fun in moderation, but so many people go overboard and put themselves on the track to addiction for the rest of their lives. Life can be a party, but in a positive way. Your drug of choice can be music, art, or whatever hobby you enjoy. Find yourself with the help of your loved ones and professionals, if you need it. Really hone in on that thing that makes you “you” and move forward. This won’t work for everyone but I thought I’d share how my journey has lead me to a much better place and I’m so happy we’re talking about these issues openly in 2021.
Omg this hit home for me. We are the same! Learning about my social anxiety is fairly new journey that I've acknowledged. Alcohol helps me a lot with social situations which is not ideal for the meds I started taking, I get extremely unmotivated and tired. It feels like a weight off my shoulders to find others going through the similar situations. I don't feel alone in this. Wish you the best of luck.
You’re inspirational bro, many can relate to you
I love how real you are in these videos man! Keep up the fight against these things. Alcohol can be a prison and it sucks
GOOD FOR YOU!! DON'T SELF MEDICATE, MY HUSBAND DID THAT CAUSE HE HAS ADD AND TOURRTTES, AND DRAK ALOT MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE, DRINKING WILL NOT HELP YOU , ITS NOT GOOD FOR YR HEART, AND HEALTH, IL PRAY FOR YOU , SO YOU KEEP SOBER😊🎉🎉 GOOD FOR YOU ..KEEP IT UP....
It's my day 1 today :) hope you are hanging in there! I totally relate to the inability to control your emotions, I cry and get chills over anything slightly sappy lately haha. You can do this!
I've been on a downward spiral for about 10 years since my career took off and I've become more and more isolated in my personal life. It has started to show itself as anger and depression the past few years, and I realize it's destroying all of the relationships I still hold dear. INTJ here. Today is my day 1, and I'm starting to seek the support and professional help I need. Thank you for your videos and honesty. Wish me luck!
I love how honest your videos are . Takes balls to just talk openly on here
Good luck Ben and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR JOURNEY. It has helped tremendously...
Your Going To be Great Man , still young and I see the potential in you
right on man. thank you for that. much love. cheers my friend
Good luck , I’m trying my day one will come soon, not ready yet too much grief going on and stress , but one day hopefully 🙏🏼
Hope you all the best with your surgery! Will definitely follow this 30-day journey.
Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to being sober myself.
It took me a DUI to be the slap in the face I needed to quit drinking.. I have also lost 2 great jobs this year due to my drinking.. I know I am an alcoholic, I just never wanted to admit it. Today I have 3 weeks no booze or cigarettes! When I quit my day 1 was nothing like yours, I definitely had terrible, terrible withdrawals. You're making the right choice!
Congratulations! Hope it’s still going well
I hope you've been successful. I can only do one addiction at a time. You might try that, if you're still struggling.
Thanks for sharing man. Really enjoy your videos.
Hey Ben, your personal concerns have really touched me. You describe having social anxiety etc. You seem very genuine and sensitive to me in a world where people get success from being fake. I don't think you do make the connections with people as you do when you are young. The world is a cynical place. Don't put yourself down for a start. Also, psychology has a label for everything. And alot of these labels have self deprecating symptoms. Perhaps rather than focusing on the psychological, focus on the spiritual. Seek a good shaman for guidance. You are still young and from what I can remember the 20s were a lonely decade. Don't be too hard on yourself XX
Thanks for sharing your story, it really means a lot to see and hear honest heart felt story like these beach use everyone has a demon that they are dealing with.
I am a mother of 3 kids, wife and my parents live with me. Occupation Nurse.
Started of drinking for fun as a teenager and as I got older used it as a crutch to relive “Stress “. I wake up feeling awful, unproductive fighting to work and keep up with my kids, every day is a struggle and I have no one to talk to about it, because people think when your doing ok in life you should complain or have a problem. Today is my day 1. Putting my Trust in God and staying away for alcohol. I’ve stop for 30 days and when I started it back it seem like shit got worst so I have to stop I think about my kids and husband. Thanks again for sharing.
Hey Ben, I’m curious about how your sobriety journey is going? I’m 25 and suffered from alcoholism since I was 17. I’m now almost 6 months sober and this video resonated with me. I’ve been through the cycle over and over for years until I finally made the choice for myself. It’s super tough, but it’s worth it in the end. Hit me up if you ever need someone to talk to or help hold you accountable on the journey!
you seem like a good guy, idk why this came up on my home page but i totally understand these type feelings. I feel i have different effects on my life but i definitely feel the 25 and struggling with these things. Me personally im beginning to feel all the evil in everyone close to me. Intentionally isolating myself to preserve what i feel is right kind of. Hard topic but also a necessary one i feel
I hope you’re doing good brother. Keep going ⭐️
Congratulations Ben. The decision to take control of your alcohol use takes a lot of self awareness, courage , and determination! How are you using the time you now have living sober? You have the ability to do great things with your life....never forget that!
I use to be a junkie then turned to the more socially accepted alcoholism... Stay strong brother shit gets rough but it will pay off
Mhmm. So easy to justify when it's legal.
Just found your channel a few days ago. I swear your the Male version of me. Have alwaysed had social anxiety and been drinking alot alone for the past 5 years. Glad I'm not alone. Your stronger then you think. Your awsome. Please keep posting,
You had me rolling over laughing at the “what did I do the night before” lmao, hope you make it to 30 bro, subbed
haha dude i’ve lost my car before. that was not a good morning lol. and my friend thank you very much. glad i was able to make you laugh and thanks for the sub. stay in touch. cheers brew.
@@benmayz202 yeah you did make me laugh and I appreciate that! Don’t feel alone in this struggle, i related to almost everything you said haha, hope you work it all out
You are doing great! You seem to be really good at reflecting your own behavior, and you are courageous enough to open up about it. That's a great start many people lack. I wish you all the best! :)
Bro I hope you staying sober please sending u light and love
Thanks for sharing your story. Very brave of you to share your emotions in a society where a lot of men don't feel like they can. Your honesty and genuineness is very relatable. I feel like a lot of people go through or have gone through the same things, but feel like they are the only ones. Looking forward to another video!
Coming from a very similar place of normalized alcohol and drug use, I support you. You want better for yourself--dont complicate it any further. You deserve it. "I have never met any one who stopped drinking whose life got worse." Think about that any time drinking seems like the easy solution.
wow that really hits hard right there. very well said my friend. and very true, neither have i. thank you for your support, your words of motivation, and kindness.
THANK YOU for sharing your story with us and being brave enough to put it all out there. I sent your channel to my 23 year old son who is struggling with everything you have and are. To show him, he's not alone in these feelings and anxiety and drinking. He seems to want to make that change now after so many rocky days which are always tied to drinking. I sure hope you post more and continue to allow us to watch your journey. Thank you so much
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. That's MY higher power, but if anyone has a different belief or none, these words still work for however you want to use them on your own. You don't have to use GOD in the saying, Im sure you know this, Im just saying this for anyone else struggling now and reading thse comments 🤗 I look forward to watching you grow 🤗
I can relate to many things you’re going through. I wasn’t able to fix my alcohol addiction until I figured out my anxiety meds. Once I became less anxious, the alcohol cravings had gone way. In one of your videos you mentioned T shots for anxiety. Definitely helps!
I stopped and immediately felt better. Better sleep and dreams
I had to quit a year ago, because I developed major depression, panic anxiety, and I didn't want to be on earth anymore (or go live in the forest)).
Thank you for sharing your story. Your helping me stay sober today. Thank you brother ♡
your very welcome. glad to help. we are in this together. stay strong, stay positive, and stay in touch. take care
I hope you keep it up! Been sober 5 years now after dieing at 29 years old from drinking. I got Acute pancreatitis that lead to full organ failure.
If you go to an AA meeting you will meet people who understand and will help you. My son went to an AA meeting at 26 and never looked backed - he is very successful today at 40 with a family. He actually found God through his journey. God bless you. ❤️
@@JJ-qp6jw Kudos to you, JJ! ❤️
The one problem is AA is entwined with the push towards religion. That's what sent me out the door to find real help, from a doctor. I cannot see how it works unless you pledge allegiance to some higher power. As a devout atheist I couldn't listen to drunk men hailing the lord above. It is US and only US who can get clean.
Don't overthink it mate, remember everyone is just worried about themselves ❤
It's good that you're aware, the main thing is to fill your time with great activities such as hiking or bjj
agreed. boredom is recipe for disaster for people like me. i’m trying to find happiness in sober activities and simple things like reading, hiking etc. as for bjj i actually plan on doing this once my surgery is over and i’m rehabbed. maybe kickboxing to start and progress towards bjj. thanks for your comment my friend. till next time
Have the same issues. Yes you need to occupy your time with something. I did kickboxing for awhile until that gym shut its doors. I bought an old motorcycle to work on.
I think you are very insightful and should trust your intuition/ gut. You identify concerns about the alcohol use, so take notice. I see you as a very empathic and sensitive person. Nurture yourself.
I used to drink to self medicate and give me "confidence" I understand about drinking to help me socialise and feel comfortable. I rarely drink now but I can relate to what you've said.
Hey Ben just found the channel- have you continued your sobriety? I am going on a year and a half and it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time. Hope you’re doing well.
My day 1….again….Two years sober and I let boredem get the best of me and I know better. This video is great. Thanks.
Congratulations brother that's no easy feat!
Thank you for your honesty. You seem more normal to me than abnormal.
Spot on brother. I just really been making my health the priority. Eating good , exercise ect. I'm several months no alcohol and it's been great, no bullshit lol but dude when u mentioned waking up in the a.m after a night of drinking wondering what happend, was the worst for me lol sometimes I'd just start a reg convo up with the people and would pray they wouldn't ask " do you remember lastnight?" 😂😂 god it's giving me a hint of anxiety just thinking about it lmao
I am an alcoholic, 16 years sober. I used AA and it was very very helpful. Plus there are built in friends there, all people that party like I do. Give it a try.
Goo onn you are the best....good disition
During my partners struggle with sobriety(he's 6 years sober now) an ambulance driver attending him said that he should "never quit quitting", he carried that release of failure, and sense of determination to heart. It gave him hope, and reality of a sometimes bumpy road, but always going in the direction of his destination. Every day can be a struggle when stressors are higher, but the road is smoothe sailing now... Never give up on the destination
Hey Ben can you give us an update on how you're doing? I hope you're doing well. Ill be praying for your sobriety and well being. 🙏
Today is my day 1 just relapsed! Love your channel
yes, drinking or doing drugs could actually make your progress go backwards.. something about it you are worth the fight for come whatever you're dealing
Thank you for your story I'm a blackout drinker myself I can only imagine how you feel that's why I've been 13 days sober for 2022 I'm tired of waking up wondering what the hell I did the night before or if the cops are after you or anything that alcohol is related to I'm grateful to be 13 days sober thank you for the video it was really helpful God bless you sir
You got this. I’m at day 1110 ( yes 3 + years) 😳 so proud but still struggle with wanting to drink.. being sober was just personal choice of challenging and seeing if I could overcome my anxiety without using alcohol to be social and have fun. LOL unfortunately I’ve turned into a complete hermit but I’m trying my best and still sober ❤️ Hope all is well in your journey.
I'm slightly confused, and please don't think I'm saying any of this to sound like I'm being down or mean, but I just watched a video from 3 months ago of yours where you said you have no friends, which made me presume you meant literal, and now I see this video where you say all you do with buddies is/was drink. I only ask this because as a person with same anxiety issues quite a lot alike, but I really literally have nobody to call a friend unless I include my sister and mother, but other than them I have nobody, so did you make friends within the 3 months of the pervious video? I mean that's awesome if you did it shows your actually making progress on your anxiety which is always a plus, or, when you said you have no friends did you mean you do have friends but your anxiety got the better of you in the video and made you say you had no friends?
wow I feel like a Karen saying this but I 100% am curious in a good way so please don't think I'm hating on your videos/progress.
i’m pasting my reply to another person who asked this on my 1st music festival video, as this is a great question. thank you for asking. notice this was mainly with my girlfriend who i had built a relationship with and was able to get comfortable. i am an extrovert but social anxiety has ruled my life these past years as i explain in my earlier video that you watched. by the time we are out and about in social situations i am already half drunk etc.. sucks even admitting this but it’s true. i have to in order to socialize. notice my latest video, i talk about getting sober because it has actually created a problem for me. as for the drinking buddies, well at least for me, i came to find that no of them were really my friends, they were just that drinking buddies who eventually even the few i had fell off after several weeks of getting plastered. i found myself alone, never really even made any true friends, and with a drinking problem that i had to continue to keep in order to keep my social situations tolerable and possible. hope this answers your question. thank you for the comment and question though :) take care thehappylife:)
@@benmayz202 man I have so much respect for how open you are about this and it goes to show you're a genuine person. I've had no friends and zero confidence for the last 15yrs so I know the struggle, I've had friends but just always pushed them away, when asked to join in with activities I always found excuses and never participated and its brought me to where I am now with nobody, but I think no matter what age you are, the littlest of actions can lead to the biggest changes so just keep hanging in there and who knows 1 day you will look back on how life was for you.
keep being strong, count them days of being alcohol free and just take the days 1 step at a time. keep being awesome buddy :)
@@thehappylife4169 rock on man much love. stay in touch. cheers mate
How's soberity going?? Its awesome that you were able to see the issue before it caused you any health or legal issues. Hope you are doing well! 😁
I can relate SO much! I also suffer from social anxiety and I recognize how alcohol helps calming down on social events and when trying to sleep (I have insomnia too). But of course, I want to avoid doing it often (specially at home), since I may develop some kidney disease. Very recently I started trying having no alcohol at all and I hope my organism gets used to it soon enough.
I love your videos! You're so honest and I love how all your videos you're just trying to better yourself!
I feel everything you're saying,
Christ is the one who completely filled me🤎🤎🤎 I'm praying all is well
I hope all is well with your sobriety path it's the best gift to give yourself,believe you can do it and you will succeed good luck mate 👍
i saw your video about having social anxiety and literally checked your other vids to see if you also had some kind of relationship with alcohol. The two seem to go hand in hand....i relate to you so much bruva. Has been very insightful to hear your experiences that I also relate to very much. Sending good vibes
I’ve watched all your videos, keep it up 👍🏼
I was in a similar cycle, self medication with alcohol in social situations in the beginning . I was embarrassed to tell my doctor and gradually things got worse. I started drinking most days for nearly 2 years. I ended up health issues caused by the alcohol, acid reflux and blood tests showed my kidney and liver function were greatly reduced. Those health issues was my turning point. Been sober 1 year and organ function is back to normal. Talking to my doctor about anxiety was the best thing Ive ever done.
Im in the same boat. I only drink to be social. Becuase i still want to have friends and have fun but my aaniety stands in the way. and i get addicted to the feeling of being drunk because it chases the anxiety awaay for small time. But alcohol is not helping me long term. Im with you, im quiting today and gonna go for 90 days. Im with your bro
You will make it to day 1000 and beyond!! You got this! 😃
I am on day 6 of sobriety not feeling well please pray for me i am have been alcoholic for 7 years daily drinking from last 3 years its terrible and currently in misery due to it😔
I never had social anxiety until a few years ago. It used to be horrible but its better now even without alcohol
Bro Europe has always been a dream of mine! Paris FTW! subbed keep em comin
assuming you follow me on instagram and saw my story? but yeah man im stoked. have always wanted to go since i was a kid. i will definitely be vlogging the entire trip and uploading it. thanks for the sub
I know this video was 2 years ago but I would love to hear your update if you are comfortable sharing. I am in this position right now, and everything you’re saying I relate to.
I have been on those drinking sessions also... No friends and no motivation to care sometimes.
Well this is like looking in a mirror for sure. I’m on day 7. I think I’ve said everything you’ve said in this video to myself. Trying for 30 days for probably the 20th time:
dude i think your a lovely person and i really dont wanne annoye you, but i think god has a plan for your life man. I just wanted to say that i myself had struggled with social axiety and trough my faith it got better, way better. Just wanted to let you know and maybe encourage you to look into that whole jesus thing., i mean you dont got anythingt to lose. Keep it up man, wish u the best. much love! =) ( sorry for my not perfect englisch)
Good luck brother. Day 550ish here. That's a slippery slope you were on,....trust
Well done! Hope you’re keeping it up 😃 x
Proud of you for quitting. It's socially hard when that's the main event with social gatherings.
Me and you are one and the same. It's actually crazy how similar we are.
@eric peterson Well, here is some good news IMO... because of my bipolar disorder and anxiety I HAD to stop all of that stuff. When you finally do walk away from it, the longer you stay away from it the easier it becomes. Just remembering the amount of anxiety it caused me on my come-down days is bad enough to keep me from over-indulging.
@eric peterson Alcohol especially was a temporary band-aid for me. And every morning, when the band aid came off, my anxiety was worse than the week before and it didn't reach a peak, it just got worse and worse... and now I regret taking so long to stop because I wonder how much less damage I would have done to myself mentally. That's how I look at it and has been the mentality that has helped me. I hate having these issues - I'd rather not be able to 'escape' them and them stay the same, than escape them for a day here and a day there and them get significantly worse if that makes sense.
You got this. Take it slow, don't be too hard on yourself, just hold yourself accountable.
Good job man keep it up. You have social anxiety because you are an addict. Quit Drinking = SOCIAL CONFIDENCE. Good job keep it up!
Dude, we have a lot of commonalities. Like I've detached myself socially to the point where even typing this comment feels off if you know what I mean. Alcohol does temporarily cure the brain fog though, but you're correct that it's not sustainable. So, I've been relatively sober for the past few months and I can honestly say I hate it at times, but I was worse off before. Negative introspection still dominants my mind, but your videos are showing me possibilities. Like throwing away the self-mediocrity or deceit I somehow continue to perpetuate. I, like you, am literally fed up with it, because it's just a bunch of bullshit tbh. I'm also in a fraternity, which I joined purely for social interaction. Like you, I'm having a weird adjustment period that I'm hoping is just intermittent. I just want to aquire contentness at this point, but we'll see what these next few years hold. I wish you luck though my dude, life's a conundrum and we just gotta embrace what makes sense to us.
My parents also have rough past. And it is so much easier to drink more than only two drinks. Sometimes it works, but yes. And i think it is very important not to whip ourselfs if we gonna drink, sometimes. And then always start again, and get more wiser everytime or something. Maybe in future we really can drink only 2 and enjoy it more than 20 drinks in past. If don’t wanna quit totally.
“I would never drink on my own” me, sips wine 10 minutes before noon; alone
Good luck!!!
Lmao disappeared after day 1. So motivational. 😂
ive lost evrerything due to alcohol and drugs, my fiance, my daughter, home, cars , jobs, friendships, im about to go to jail in a week , i have d5 duis and im 28 yr old, i can not keep living this way, i am at the lowest point of my life, today is my day 1
So proud of you! 👍❤️
10 years sober here. AA is great for the socially awkward. Get a sponsor, you will finally feel like you fit in😊 welcome!
Yes, I feel like I am always MORE anxious and MORE emotionally unstable the day/ days after drinking. I feel like it messes with my blood pressure and my heart is racing the day after.
Stay of the sauce honey 👍
@@lbaz0710 Agreed! luckily that is not my personal preferred unhealthy coping mechanism. I still notice these less than desirable side effects when only social drinking here and there, and when I have in the past more consistently drank . But seriously, some days the subtle negative side effects make me thinking about trying to be completely #saucefree 🤔