How do you know you're autistic? 9 Common Ways to discover your autism as an adult
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ค. 2024
- How do you know you’re autistic? Did you discover your autism? If you’re diagnosed later in life, there’s a big chance that a self-discovery process was a part of your journey. There is this common misconception that the usual way to find out that you’re autistic is that a professional notices it in you and gives you a diagnosis. Sure, that makes sense for a medical model. That’s how we diagnose most of our physical illnesses and even our mental illnesses. However, it is not a common way for someone to discover that they’re autistic. In this video, I will share the 9 most common ways that I’ve seen on how someone begins their journey to an autism diagnosis. Which one did you experience?
Link to book: www.amazon.com/dp/0307396185?...
Autism from the Inside Social Group: groups/72272...
🎞️Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:18 Your child gets diagnosed for autism first
2:25 Your friend gets diagnosed for autism
3:11 TH-cam and autism content
3:50 Reading an Autistic Memoir
5:46 A Long Time Search
6:13 Diagnosed ADHD first
7:05 Major Burnout
9:33 Suggested by a psychologist
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👋Welcome to Autism From The Inside!!!
If you're autistic or think you or someone you love might be on the autism spectrum, this channel is for you!
I'm Paul Micallef, and I discovered my own autism at age 30.
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this channel in the first place because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
Autism affects many (if not all!) aspects of our lives, so on this channel, I want to show you what Autism looks like in real people and give you some insight into what's happening for us on the inside. We'll break down myths and misconceptions, discuss how to embrace autism and live well, and share what it's like to be an autistic person.
Join me as I share what I've found along my journey, so you don't have to learn it the hard way.
Make sure to subscribe so you won’t miss my new video every Friday and some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.
➡️️ / @autismfromtheinside
👋Connect with me:
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➡️️ Facebook: / autismfromtheinside.co...
➡️️ Twitter: / aspiefrominside
➡️️ Written Blog: aspergersfromtheinside.com/
➡️️ Email: aspergersfromtheinside@gmail.com
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy my channel!
Peace,
~ Paul
#autism #asd #autismawareness
My ex girlfriend said years ago ( 2019 ) that I have to be autistic. I made an AQ Test back then. I scored 38 back then. So more likely than unlikely. I told two psychotherapists in different psychiatric clinics that I think I could be autistic. The first one ( 2021 ) said after one minute that she can’t „see“ why I should be autistic. The second one ( 2022 ) a year later said that autism is a modern myth. Yep. One year later ( 2023 ) I found a cleaning channel of an autistic man ( Midwest Magic Cleaning ) on YT and I was like. ‚ Autism? Again? , this time I decided to spent time with the topic autism. I talked to my current local psychologist about it and she mentioned that it could be possible. We made the ADI-R Test and I scored high again. Also the AQ was higher this time. It was 44. The first time i didn’t took it sooo seriously. After Tests over Tests, tons of research and spending a lot of time in groups and such I got my Asperger Diagnosis confirmed ( 2024 ). Never stop searching for a diagnosis just cause uninformed doctors or uninformed parents or friends hold you back in a way. It was a long journey so far but finally I can understand myself.
Did it cost you much? Each ASD assessment costs about $1500 here
@@andrewm3329 I had to pay nothing. In Germany it is paid by the health insurance. Usually it takes forever to get an appointment using the health insurance so you have to pay it on your own but my case was urgent. I had a lot of stress during my research. I can’t handle it when I can’t find an answer. So my anxiety and depression got worse. Cause of that they gave me an appointment covered by the health insurance. But normally it can take a year or two to get one of those so a lot of people have to pay it on their own. An ASD assessment costs usually somewhere between 600-800€ here if it is not covered by the health insurance.
Love your story. I’m female and live in the U.K. At age 68 I went private (lest I was barking up the wrong tree) and was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. I had also scored 37 on the AQ test. I then told my GP (doctor) who, I’m very pleased to say, accepted it. However, he recommended I still go down the NHS route for a diagnosis so that I would fully be accepted as being on the spectrum. My doctor made the request through the proper NHS channels and sent them the paperwork I had presented to him along with a letter of recommendation. Weeks later I received a letter from the relevant NHS department stating that I did NOT meet the criteria for being tested by them, and that was the end of it. 😮 My doctor rang me and was not a happy bunny. I was devastated. I couldn’t get my head around the NHS refusing to explore the situation being as I had a lifetime history of mental health issues, which, at several points in time, had been severe.
However, I have lived the last two years as a person on the spectrum (regardless of the heartless attitude of the NHS) and I have never been happier or so relaxed and at ease with myself.
When having to interact with others for any reason I inform them I’m on the spectrum and therefore I will probably ask lots of questions due to everything in life situations being ambiguous to me. Without exception, everyone has been patient and understanding instead of impatient and treating me as a nuisance. In social situations I also explain my autism in advance to people so they are aware that I’m not being a weird tw@; I’m simply on the spectrum. Once again, people are so much more understanding and make allowances rather than shunning me for overstepping social boundaries.
All in all, my winter years are full of warmth, mainly due the TH-cam channels such as this one, where I have finally found my tribe. Love to you all 🥰🥰🥰
@@andrewm3329 - The initial diagnostic consultation was £350 ($450). The follow up was £2500 ($3200).
@@andrewm3329 I paid nothing. Already wrote a comment but it disappeared somehow. I got diagnosed using my health insurance. If you pay it privately you have to pay 600 - 800 € for an entire ASD assessment. Iam in Hamburg, Germany.
I was seeing a psychologist because of the issues I was having with my then undiagnosed Autistic partner. I suspected I was on the spectrum myself, but self-diagnosis is/was frowned upon. At our last session as I was heading out the door she said “you’re very interesting, I think you might have borderline personality disorder. Bye.”When I was very much more certain I was in fact autistic I wrote to her & set her straight about how damaging this off the cuff erroneous diagnosis had been as we were saying our goodbyes. Another psychologist who also wasn’t skilled enough to pick up the bleeding obvious showed me a diagram of a mob of cows with one cow on its own, she told me that the cow on its own was destined to die, because it had isolated itself from the herd. Ffs. I had been recently suicidal. Some psychologists are beyond useless.
I'm sorry you had those experiences, they sound... awful to put it lightly. Hopefully you're learning to find peace with yourself despite the BS you've dealt with 🤍 Much love from a person currently working on a self identification/diagnosis c:
If the psychologist in your last example was a medical professional and you have the energy, you might want to report that person to a medical authority of your country. This kind of social darwinism has no place in professional medical practice.
@@OperationDarksideI had a friend who by the time was studying to be s psychologist (I think she is now) who suported the abuse other friends did to me and even joined sometimes even getting to the point of making fun of me at my back with them and similar stuff and always playing the victim. I don't know how usual it is but I don't think you can really do much about it since they had a total disregard about it. They even acted as if s psychologist couldnt do any harm and got offended with me that time I suggested that
The amount of ignorance among psychologists about Autism (and quite a few other things too) is epic!
I'm sorry to say that you are correct about so many therapists. I entertained the idea of going into that field but my own expereicne with therapists showed me how much of their ideas, actions and conclusions were based on their own experiences and conditioning. I wish I could be of more help, It looks like you've figured out things and perhaps trying to find better help is the way to go.
I'm 48 and I just found out I'm autistic about a week ago when I went to talk to a psychologist about chronic depression and possible ADHD (Was diagnosed as a child). After my first session, she told me it was extremely obvious I was autistic and not ambiguous in any way. She referred me to get assessed (which I have not done yet as it's bloody expensive).
It all makes so much sense now, and it has brought me so much peace knowing that I was not some sort of alien that was born in the wrong planet.
Welcome! I self diagnosed about a year ago, and one thing I really wanted in my day to day life, especially early on was to have people really understand how totally this self understanding shifted my percepton of my entire life. I had to go back and reframe everything. I also gained all the self love my therapists had been telling me to find for years (ok, but how, lady?), and a lot more self advocacy.
So I guess I just want to tell you I hope your real life people understand how very big this is. But if they don't know that there's poeple out here who do
@@milissamackey7231I self diagnosed with ADHD almost 2 years ago, my mum, my sister, my ex and my friends attacked me and criticised me for it as I didn't behave like little naughty boys. Got my diagnosis last year, and just self diagnosed with ASD last week. Now I. Waiting to get the medical diagnosis too, so I can feel validated about this too. I have definitely felt more forgiving and less critical, and became more assertive and confident after finally discovering the secrets of my life long struggles ❤
@@milissamackey7231This always gets me ticking. If you aren't qualified to diagnose and treat people with autism or any other disorder, then you certainly aren't qualified to diagnose yourself. Diagnosing yourself with autism is as brainless and meaningless as diagnosing yourself with diabetes, brain cancer, or congestive heart failure. If you aren't qualified to diagnose people with THOSE serious disorders, then you clearly aren't capable of reliably diagnosing yourself with autism. How soon did you symptoms start? Were they present before the age of 2? How would you know, you can't remember that far back. Did you consult the DSM5 and go through diagnostic screeners first or do you just realize you are an odd duck and want the trendy "autism" diagnosis?
Autism is a challenging disorder which NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE. The fact that unqualified you just diagnosed yourself speaks volumes. It means you are jumping on the autism is cool bandwagon and sound rather like a douche canoe.
NO therapist can possibly diagnose you with ANYTHING after one visit. I suggest getting tested and seeing a real therapist instead of A) one you have made up OR B) an underqualified idiot. SMH
I’ve often felt like i shouldn’t be on this planet but somewhere else
Mine was - me wondering 'what is wrong with me' my whole life. Thought it was bi-polar, then maybe BPD, then I knew it was C-PTSD, then I found out maybe autism too, then ah yes ADHD too!! Mind blowing. All discovered without a 'professional', really from desperation to understand my 'crazy'. Thanks Lovely, I forget your name suddenly.
Are you gong to diagnose yourself with gall bladder disease and congestive heart failure too? It is clear from your post that you aren't well-educated, so you clearly lack an understanding, or the authority, to diagnose anyone. People sound so foolish diagnosing themselves with something because they think they know better and want answers. You probably DO have C-PTSD. Probably not bipolar disorder (unless you slip from depression to elation every 3 years or so, not every few minutes). Autism is a terrible diagnosis that NO ONE should be excited to have.
Went through the exact same thing
Among countless telling moments across a long lifetime (I'm 66 now) that puzzled and nagged me, and seemed impossible to express to others, was once maybe 15 years ago when friends in America (I was overseas) sent me some photos from a reunion of seminary friends. This couple's younger son was autistic, in the full popularly understood sense, lots of stimming, limited communication/emotional response, etc. In one of the photos the boy was tossing leaves (it was fall) up in the air repeatedly, watching them as they floated back to the ground. The moment I saw the photo it seized me viscerally, practically as if I was teleported into the photo and the boy's body, doing exactly what he was doing and, to the point, knowing exactly WHY, knowing exactly how that felt, in the "gut" and what it was about that cycling, absorbing patterned (yet also, within boundaries, randomn and chaotic) motion was mesmerizing and psycho-emotionally nourishing. It was stunning to me, like a bolt out heaven. "I know why he's doing that. No, I mean I really KNOW what he's doing and why, I can FEEL it!" It was bewildering and yet at the same time weirdly as plain as day, yet I had no real words for it---because, naturally, I'd never have concluded I was "autistic" (as I understood it then). But that moment never ever left me. It haunted me ever since. My ASD discovery last year cast a life-changing clarity for me not only on that moment but on a whole lifetime.
That's awesome! Do you have other moments kind of like that, where you feel as if you ARE in that person's body or experience, or where you've saved a memory of someone, and the conceptual images of it show you being in their shoes? Or like, as if you're transported to their eyes, seeing what they're seeing, sensing what they're sensing, doing what they're doing? Do you have that happen to you more? What you describe sounds like something that's always happened in my head, too. Can you relate?
@@iUnderstand I have to tell you very honestly: no! 🙂 This was very unusual in that I immediately conceived such a "gut" understanding of what this boy was doing and why and how it felt, and it did relate to lesser such behaviors in my own life, not as pronounced as his of course, for which I had in my time been made to feel embarrassed over.
Immediately brought back memories of lying on my back under tall trees, watching the sun through the leaves. Made me feel calm and happy. I could do it for an hour at a time, a long time for someone who was always moving.
Diagnosed at 18, months before graduation
In the 16 years since that diagnosis, I have been called lazy and told that I "can't have Asperger's" because I don't speak in monotone and have an intelligent vocabulary; the former was from my mother and the latter was from a guy I met thru online dating (between insulting me and having zero concern for my safety while planning a first date, I refused to go out with him).
Today I saw some video's about Highly Intelligence (IQ 130+) and there was this girl that showed signs of autism, been diagnosed for years to have autism and even had to take drugs that was damaging. Only to find out at a later age that they didn't have autism but where highly intelligent.
All the things named in this video are recognisable for this aswell, simply cos there are many similarities between autism and high intelligence.
Your mum is just as bad as mine, she tried to gaslight me into believing the doctor diagnosed me with ADHD because "I told him so". Now that I've discovered my ASD too, I didn't even bother sharing the news with her. You do you, live your life however you like, and cut the negative people out of your life. I'm glad you never went out with that idiot
@@Ata5ll You can have autism and be any level of intelligence. Some autistic people have low intelligence and some are geniuses. And everything in between.
@@Ata5ll Also, there are no medications for treating autism. So the drugs that damaged her were for another problem.
@@Catlily5 I never claimed those things so I wonder why you feel like you have to correct me on things I didn't even say?
My therapist actually did suggest that I was autistic when I was 19 but I didn't know very much and disregarded that. Then, years later, I went to full time work and experienced a really bad burnout, I started reading about autistic burnout, found this channel and a year later got a diagnosis! Wild journey, I'm really glad that there are more resources and information out these days
Full-time work or being in an environment with overstimulation seems to be a pattern in this comment section. 🤔
I hate being overestimated. It's like being smothered by my environment.
@@Kyle_00 This is 100% of how I feel most of the time and can't escape it at work. Constantly feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed - by colors, smells, sounds, people, conversations, screens - hurting my brain all the time, and always craving time alone so that I can reset and just survive.
I've never been able to work full-time. I'm considering looking more into sensory room info. I found to see if it helps at all.
@@ivanaamidzic Yep. I would constantly go hide in the bathroom.
@@RadioactuveToy I go hide places too. Now we have wellness room, so can go there and just exist in peace. I feel for you, it is hard for me to stay employed, but before I could not have employment, I was not able to last in it.
It took a major burnout and time on TH-cam before the algorithm led me to your videos. Then it all clicked. All the depression, job-hopping, BPD diagnosis that didn't really fit -- it all made sense. Thanks again, Paul, for another video that helps me turn what seems like a chaotic and tragic life into a compassionate, life-giving narrative.
My journey started in such a silly way. When I was watching The Big bang theory on TV, not only was Sheldon my favorite character, but I actually really understood his point of view better than the other characters. Then I started noticing how often I identified with characters who were outsiders or who saw the world in a different way. I read a book on autism, and while it was being described as an experience that other people had I realized that I thought this was the inner experience everyone has. From there I read two books by actual autistic people themselves, and from that point on I knew. Your TH-cam channel and a couple others have helped me immensely in assimilating this view, which has put all of this strange puzzle pieces of my life together in retrospect. I'm in my mid-40s and I finally understand what the hell has been going wrong cyclically over and over for the past three decades.
I will be 59 years old next month, I am a mental health clinician and I have worked in mental health for 35 years, I did not have a good understanding of autism. obviously, I trained 35 years ago so not as much was known then and it was generally considered to be a childhood disorder. I was aware that I had struggles in my life but never considered that I might be autistic until I was watching videos on TH-cam about circular knitting machines, Okay... I watched them continuously for about 3 days, that might have been the clue, but that was when a video about autism in women popped up. I was astonished at how much it resonated with me. I have since done several professional development courses about Autism, I was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD this week. I am very passionate about clearing up misconceptions about autism, Clinicians are becoming more aware, but we have a way to go. I am also frustrated with the cost of assessment. My privilege meant I could pay for my assessments, but there are a large number of under and unemployed autistic people who cannot get a diagnosis and could benefit from some NDIS support. I love your videos, Paul, I often share your 12 fast facts about autism video.
What a beautiful story! You're a true muse, a real inspiration. I've just self diagnosed at 43 years old, stories like your give me strength to keep fighting
You’re so real with the price of assessments! My family clearly sees that there’s something wrong with me but refuses to get me any help and diagnosis since the price is just heavy. I am now studying in a uni and I’m having a hard time, I am positive that in some way I have something wrong with me, I have sensory issues and was often separated from the crowd for the reasons I don’t know. Hopefully, by the time comes where I get a stable job, I could save up to seek assistance from professionals.
@@soyaliovee Change always comes slowly, but I have hope that public mental health systems will start assessing ASD and ADHD. I am not sure if you live in Australia but there was a senate inquiry done into the assessment treatment and support of people with ADHD. hopefully, it will also lead to some change in the way we assess ASD.
@@AlissaSss23 I feel like being autistic helps you to keep fighting, that inability to let go of things means that you just don't give up. That can be a blessing or a curse depending on the situation.
@@alijosews definitely
Up to a point, that is how physical illnesses are diagnosed, but first we feel ill and we have to go to the doctor. Doctors aren't walking down the street handing out suggestions to every person who coughs or looks pale, so in that sense, we always have to take the initiative about our own conditions.
I've taken 6 different online tests. Admittedly, they all asked similar questions. My scores on all the tests indicated that I'm very likely to be autistic. I told my husband and he just laughed at me and said I'm not autistic. He only knows one autistic male who is quite severe. I've been diagnosed bipolar, anxiety disorder and I'm sure I'm adhd too. Growing up, teachers always told my mum that there was something wrong with me and suggested I have my hearing checked. I cried alot at school. I'm artistically gifted and I'm constantly humming and singing. People always guilt me that I'm not a professional singer too. Im obsessed with psychology, science, art, gardening, self sufficiency, knitting, interior design. I'm also a closet architect. I get so stressed because I can't decide which hobby to attend to in my precious spare time and it's so everwhelming. I can't sit still and never been able to hold a job for long. I hate socialising but feel lonely sometimes. Even going shopping really stresses me out and procrastinate like crazy before going, which is exactly what I'm doing right now.
Your experience sounds so much like mine ❤ Please reach out
Mine is definitely a long time search. I’ve always had this “something’s wrong with me” thought, constantly feeling out of touch and thinking of myself as an alien or a silent viewer to other people. I don’t remember myself NOT feeling like this. I never sought professional help because I was raised believing I’m “a smart girl who can fix all her problems better than any therapist can”. I just lived my life accepting I was odd and thinking I was just both this way with no real reason behind it.
28 years later, it hit me. I’m still fighting through my imposter syndrome, but I’m pretty sure now that I’m autistic. And some days this realization makes me hurt bad, while others it actually liberates me and makes me feel more free and less guilty of the social mistakes I make. I still want to be with people and will have to find my way into the society. But at least now I know which way to look for answers.
My realization came from a combination of 5+ year burnout and crisis when I finally found a counselor who realized I was autistic. 11 months into this journey, and I have hope my life is worth something. Finally.
What’s funny is that it feels like I don’t have to listen to the content really because just seeing the way you talk, I can already say that I have it as I talk the same way. I always look up as if I am looking for the right words to say due to having difficulty expressing myself.
I stumbled on a self-diagnosis a couple of years ago when I watched autism videos on youtube. I'm in my 70's, so that was a confusing moment. The longer I sit with the diagnosis, the surer I am that it's real, and the more symptoms of autism I see in myself. I wonder whether my age means I'm less and less able to mask (less energy). Or whether the dividing lines between my old masking self and my new authentic self are dropping away, and the autistic side is winning. Or both. Or neither. It's taking time to sort things out but it's gradually coming together.
Your videos were right there at the beginning of my discovery, maybe even the initial spark if I remember correctly, in spring of 2023. You played a crucial role. Thank you!
Strange, this man’s TH-cam channel started getting to me in the algorithm and I was so confused why I kept seeing stuff on autism. Finally clicked one once and it was a video on signs of autism in adulthood and I just sat there amazed, it felt like he was telling my story
This was in spring of last year!(around April or May at the time. I’m much more accepting of myself nowadays, it’s just getting my neurotypical wife to realize I’m not “being lazy” or coming up with excuses why I’m having a hard time working.
I kid you not…..I have lost 7 jobs since last January and I just can’t seem to “be myself” anymore. I have been masking my entire life and didn’t even know it until I was an adult. In my 20s I just assumed that I have something wrong with me that would bring me so much depression and anxiety and all from some kind of chronic depression. I coped so hard with opium and benzodiazepines. I was screwed up dude, had to tell my wife I don’t have the will to keep masking and playing the job search game over and over and I always have to conceal my true self, to “fit in.” Of course, I never fit in because I’m not being me, but on the other hand if I take the mask off, I’m very blunt with people and I’ve noticed I speak to people with contempt, because I hate that I have to play society’s stupid vain game. I just don’t care anymore what people think of me and I’m just gonna be my full autistic self. But I also have a wife and two boys to take care of and this financial insecurity and instability has really tested the grounds our marriage. I just want to get back to a job I can keep and stay around for few years. I have several construction certificates and licenses……but I can’t work in construction anymore. The constant schedules, the jerk clients when you’re genuinely trying to ask what they need. The office politics. They just hired a ton of people and I even asked that guy in the interview “I noticed you guys got bought out by a larger company, which I’m sure many were let go in a massive layoff. Is this something I need to be concerned with?”
He was so taken aback by that question but then assured me my job would be secure.
I felt it in the air. One night my general manager asked me to come to his office real quick at the end of the day. He basically told me that my work performance was lacking and he thinks we should part ways.
All because the client complained about me not being able to find the job site on time, as was wrong from my work order. The Project manager who had it out for me basically whined and complained that they should just get rid of me.
I need to be my own manager I think. So tired of these garbage companies that will drop you like a bad habit.
Paul was one of the first resources I relied on early, too :)
My husband diagnosed himself one evening when he overheard me listening to one of your videos. I was watching the one where you gave 25 questions to ask yourself. I was taking the test for myself as you gave each question out in the video. When it was done, he walked into the room and said that for him, every single question was a "yes".
For me, not every question was a yes. Instead, I proceeded to take a more detailed test online, but I didn't understand the results. As we are both in our 70s, we have carved out a life that works for us and a definitive diagnosis probably doesn't matter at this stage of life. But understanding some of this has gone a log way to explain some of the struggles we have had in our marriage, and I think we understand each other's needs better.
My diagnosis journey started in 2018, when I found myself in a conversation with clinical psychatrist, who worked with middle-aged autistic men. As she went through the symptoms, I couldn't help think "that's me", "that's me", "that's me!".... After umming and arring for a while, I went to my doctors to ask for a diagnosis. Then after three two-hour video consultations (this was during the pandemic), I was diagnosed and the rest is history!
In 2021 at the age of 25 I moved out of my home town and moved in with a friend, and one night during a conversation I randomly said "anyone wanna watch the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie?" and my roommate met me back with "Claire I am pretty sure you're autistic." Their brother was diagnosed as autistic when he was a kid. This was a huge shock to me to be asked that as it was something that I *never* considered or even thought about in my life before then, not even once. About a year later I met another friend's husband for the first time, diagnosed as autistic himself, and one of the first things he said to me when we were having a conversation was "are you also autistic?"
This for me made it pretty much undeniable so I kinda accepted the "diagnosis by friends" route. Happy to say that I had an initial appointment with a psychiatrist to get testing two days ago, and over the course of our conversation she reaffirmed me saying "I definitely see it." Bonus points: some things I said in our conversation made her want to do ADHD testing too! Now at 27 and looking forward to it. Not expecting anything in the way of government benefits or anything but for me it will be personal validation that there is an explanation of why I never felt like I could find the right things to say to people in school to make friends (outside of my very nerdy 4 person friend group).
Burn out at work and struggling to keep a job kind of left me questioning who I am and if there is anything wrong with me. And that was followed up with clicking on TH-cam videos that started to show up in my feed. Your channel was my first introduction. After watching a lot of your videos I started getting other channels in my feed as well.
Im going to be 31 this year. I'm a full time therapist. Last year I went home for the holidays and one of my siblings blabbed the family secret: I'd had a childhood autism diagnosis that my parents had kept hidden from me. Everyone in the family knew but me. Everyone. The entire family knew and kept it from me. Now I don't use your videos for clients but for myself as well and it's begun an emotional journey beginning the process of figuring out where the masking begins and I do. My score on the rads was in the 200s when I took the test a few months ago.
I feel you‐ about parents hiding things that would've been helpful to know, but particularly about "where the masking begins and I do." Answering the questions on the masking test made me realize that I don't feel safe to be myself around anyone, really. I wasn't bullied in school or anything, but I've spent my whole life masking, especially going into my teenage and adult years. A lot of that can probably be due to my family growing up having had an overarching theme of a "looks good on paper" family unit. It was all about how things *appeared,* and my brother and I were often merely a symbol of our parents. If you haven't watched it already, you might take interest in "7 Toxic Family Units" by Patrick Teahan. Anyway, I hope you have an awesome journey searching for the balance that brings you the most of what you desire ❤️🔥✌️
@@iUnderstand thank you for the recommendation it's definitely needed and I'll be looking into it. Honestly I have never been unmasked and I cannot remember a time when my parents weren't training or guiding my behavior in some way to appear more " normal" going so far as to put a time span on how long I engaged in hobbies and interests training how I spoke micromanage my appearance etc. It's difficult to begin unraveling all of that and as with your experience when you're raised to look good on paper the real you tends to become heavily obscured underneath that. I find I know who I am but it's about validating the responses and feelings I've been told are abnormal as actually being incredibly normal for ME and are OKAY
I feel sad for you, possibly going through much of your life not knowing.
@@iUnderstandPatrick Teahan has been so good for my CPTSD from an unfortunately abusive childhood. I was also not diagnosed autistic until a month before I hit 18. I just fled my abusive family finally in January 2023 when the abuse turned physical. I don't even remember how my algorithm changed to all the mental health stuff 😂 I think I was watching some stuff about little known parts of ADHD, ending up seeing some stuff on trauma, then autism stuff is popping up now lol I don't mind it. It's been helpful.
I had a major burnout at 50. The GP I went to couldn't be bothered, and dumped me on a counsellor to get rid of me. The counsellor knew nothing about autism (or ADHD) and I was encouraged to change my life in ways that made things worse. Five years later I heard a trailer for a radio program about autism, recognised some characteristics and did the online tests. The GP I told just gave me a blank look, and it was 8 years before I finally got a diagnosis. Three years later, after realising autism didn't explain everything, I worked out I must have ADHD too, so now I'm stuck on another UK NHS waiting list! It's over 18 years since that burnout, and I still haven't got all the answers, or support, I need.
Look at a rtc option for a adhd diagnosis
I hope you are OK today
#9 for me. However, I have worked with Autistic children, young people and adults my whole life. And had autistic friends and thought the myth “everyone is a little autistic”, I now know better.
For me it took everything falling apart, job loss, family breakdown, friendship breakdown, relationship br… I wish!Generalised Anxiety (2014) and Reactive depression (2016) diagnosis’ came first.
My ASD diagnosis wasn’t until 2023! And because my psychologist put it to me as a possibility in 2022.
Thank you Autism Awareness Australia for your support in getting my diagnosis.
I CAN DEFINITELY RELATE TO NUMBER 5. FINALLY AT THE AGE OF 43 😭
Oh my gosh, I am so burnt-out and the major change is losing my dad 💔
Major Burnout. That hit the mail on the head for me. I’ve always felt like an alien from another planet but when you mentioned burn out, it confirmed everything and was a defining moment. Thank you.
My kids told me in a very casual, matter of fact way that I was autistic. I thought it was ridiculous, and asked why they would even say that. They immediately listed at least 5 qualities I definitely have that are strong indicators of autism. Blew my mind. Since then I've researched and educated myself, and they were right. To think I lived my whole life until then wondering what was wrong with me, and my kids figured it out. I'm so grateful they did.
Number Three!
TH-cam kept offering to show me videos about Autism, and I kept brushing it off until a certain title caught my attention and I couldn't ignore it.
It was one of the best things I've done for myself -- discover who I really am.
❤
Mine was like a combo meal deal. I had gone through a major life change, had massive burnout and then I started getting videos recommended to me on TH-cam.
I was researching trauma and CPTSD on TH-cam and one of the accounts who addresses that (Dr. Kim Sage) did a video about autism and trauma. I almost didn't click it because I thought it was irrelevant to me, but in the video she was expressing her shock to discover that she herself might be autistic. She talked about how it presents differently in women and how it is often missed. I was intrigued and dug in deeper. The more I learned the more obvious it became to me that it all fits. It was a huge relief that made most of the difficulties in my life make more sense.
The fact that you are so rationale in your technical explanation, and validate the intelligence of those who know themselves best enough to self diagnose, tells me that you are very genuine. This may not make sense to a neurotypical, but it would to a self-aware neurodivergent, and I so appreciate your viewpoints. Some people really over rely on the trappings of psychological criteria to almost a painful exclusionary angle and I've found that painful. Your approach is very welcoming and affirming. Thank you.
I figured out I was autistic after my husband and I watched Love on the Spectrum, my husband offhandedly asked if I thought I might be autistic, and I very quickly said yeah, maybe. The fact that I responded that way so quickly ended up making me question why I was so quick to say I could be. Then came the countless hours of learning about autism and realizing that my quick response had a lot of basis!
I met someone who was ND and it was like finally meeting another human being. She was so easy to understand. It was like how I see NT people interact. We spoke the same ‘language’. Of course I knew before that, but that was another big, major, nail in the coffin.
I had a pretty traumatic childhood so I had c-ptsd, depression, and anxiety just going into college. Then in college my depression and burnout increased and finally the pandemic hit, tiktok became popular and I learned and was diagnosed with ADHD and continued to learn more and more then made a friend who was diagnosed with Asperger's as a kid and I connected on so many levels with him. And now all my very close friends and I believe we're on the spectrum with the increase in education, representation, and awareness in media. TH-cam videos like this and ones that talk about high masking autistic women really help me understand who I am and why I am the way I am.
#2 for me. My best friend was diagnosed with asd 2. And she took a while to be brave and tell me she thought I was autistic (and asd 2 like her). I said definitely not. But I spent over a month deep diving. Then I put together a categorised symptom document that went through as many physical, emotional, mental aspects that aligned across all ages. It answered a lot of my behavioural and medical issues. It was such an overwhelming amount of evidence over my whole life, and I focused more on the physical parts than just emotional/feeling things as it could overlap with CPTSD or mimic parts of BPD. Things like going through my photos in groups from childhood to adulthood and looking at my hand or foot placement where they would consistently be placed in a very non average way, sticking out strangely etc. It took months to feel okay with the high chance I have ASD. I will get diagnosed when I can afford it as I have compiled all my info already, and when I can be confident it won't affect me in a legal sense where I live, because I do require autism centric medical help etc. It has been really helpful in my relationships with others and myself. I think autism is very open as a community because it's not some cool thing like our cousin ADHD is that if you think you have autism, you got here somehow and it's indicating something important, that no matter what you can get help from the resources available in a meaningful way.
Yes, the tenth way is the following: I was asked by several friends if I was autistic. And it was suggested to me by two psychologists who had or had had autistic partners. And I then found your videos on TH-cam. And suddenly all the things I had wondered about (e.g. always being excluded and the odd one out) started to make sense. And my stepson was diagnosed with autism. And my wife with ADHD. And I had a MAJOR burnout.
Hi Paul, mine was processing what happened after no. 7. My TH-cam algorithm searching causes of burnout lead me to this channel. Your authentic expression of what you were going thru helped me come around to the idea. As an engineer, the penny dropped when you discussed being able to work 5 hours on full mode not realizing everyone has high and low output tasks.
Coming to accept my autism for me has come with processing the trauma of how kids in the 80s were treated and I am grateful I wasn't diagnosed then.
Thanks for your service on the channel Paul - you are being a literal life savor for some of us. 😊
I've been working my body and mind into the ground for decades now just going hard eall day everyday. I'm always described as an asset to the company, but just recently realized I've been killing myself and sacrificing my sanity and relationships with those who matter by doing so. All for peanuts and praise from a place that would replace me in a heartbeat if it made financial sense for them. Not upset it took me this long to realize though, just glad I ever did.
A bit over a year ago I started doing TH-cam research into mental health and nerodiversity. That day, I was looking into whether autism or ADHD fits to my experience, when I stumbled across a video discussing the differences that left me confused. Then YT recommended one about both simultaneously, and that hit the nail on the head! It was the first thing that actually fit really well.
In summer last year, I joined a support group and a bit later got a new therapist, who told me that I could have ADHD in the first session and the one after that I might be on the spectrum. Both times I was like "yeah I know".
2 months ago I got my ADD diagnosis and the doc said that he is certain I have Atypical Autism. I probably also have PDA and will eventually try to get an Autism diagnosis when I feel less stressed about existing.
So its not quite all of the above, but quite a few.
If you don't mind, what did he mean by 'atypical autism'? I have not heard that term before.
I am one of the self diagnosed after my child was diagnosed by me. A couple of years ago, I received my "master's degree in autism spectrum disorders" and began to wonder about my child. As a special education teacher, I could see it clearly. Soon, I realized that I, too, share many of my son's traits. I am now establishing a nonprofit organization in my area for neurodivergent families and community education.
I was diagnosed back last October at 57 years of age. i knew already because I had been reading up on it for years and watching videos such as yours. My doctor wouldn't pursue it as he didn't believe I was, so my support worker arranged the assessment for me and I was proved correct.
I was clueless for decades, just knowing that I was different somehow. After a grandson was formally diagnosed, I still didn't consider it. Only after I became close friends with an autistic young man and realized that we shared many traits did it slowly dawn on me. Two of my adult kids also have traits. At my age, I see no reason to go for a diagnosis. My oldest daughter is diagnosed with ADHD along with all her kids. She told me I had it as well, which I denied until I pulled out my old grade school report cards. Every year til fourth grade, the teachers all complained that though I was very smart, I had real difficulty sitting still and being quiet. 😆--Thank you for sharing. It's nice to know we aren't alone!
I'm 27 and it took me yet another depressive episode, a major burnout, developing an anxiety disorder and a stay in a psychiatric clinic to get me diagnosed about 2 weeks ago.
For me, it crept up on me gradually as I informed myself about autism and ADHD in order to understand and help autistic and ADHD people in my workplace.
My dude. After I began to suspect, I ran into your videos which quickly reinforced my suspicions that I was autistic. I got diagnosed soon thereafter. The psychiatrist was 99% sure I was autistic. I don't know where the other 1% went. I got a 40 on the test.
(1) Didn't have my child diagnosed first, but when I told him I thought I had autism, his own story of being neurodivergent came out. "Yeah but they're just like me" works in both directions with us. (3) I've found some really good videos by other autistic individuals who post on youtube. (4) I *wish* I could find a local support group. There aren't any in my state (U.S.). Nor are there any clinicians who do adult autism evaluations. I'm pretty OK with self-diagnosis, though. Good video, Paul. Thanks.
Feeling this. Hugs for you. I was lucky to find one in my area and got a diagnosis a few years ago.
What state are you in?
40 Year Old here, recently diagnosed as AuDHD. It has been a year a discovery alright - remember getting my head around this at the start by looking at your videos. Thanks Paul for putting these together, such a great resource.
Diagnosed at 40 here. Two of my friends - unbeknownst to each other, and in completely separate friend groups - asked if I was ever tested. "Should I be?" I asked.
"Probably."
Okay then. lol
I was diagnosed with BPD as a teen because of emotional outbursts, and that's not uncommon for folks with autism as well. At least I came by it honestly. 💁🏼♀️
For me it was the wonderful combination of 3 and 6, with a hint of 8. 😅 During covid there wasn't much to do for me, work wise (graphic designer). I started binging YT videos. One of the people I follow (ToxicTears) was talking about her ADHD diagnosis in one of her older videos. Quite a few things resonated with me, but it didn't really compel me to immediately do a deep dive. 🤔 It must have kept bubbling in my subconscious though. As we were quarantined, my entire routine and all structure went out the window, leaving me to fend for myself. It didn't take long to fall into bouts of hyperfocus on the one hand, or periods of deep depression where I could hardly drag myself out of bed. 😞 It was a rollercoaster. That's when my mind kept creeping back to Kaya's video. I watched it again, and finally dove in deep. I started watching (a lot of) YT channels on ADHD. I pretty much ticked off all the boxes. But there was also a feeling that it explained a lot, but... it felt like it didn't fit a full 100%. Then one day,... YT suggested a video by Purple Ella. Talking about AuDHD. It kept popping up in my feed. I eventually decided to give it a go. And boy,... by the end of the video I was crying. 🥺 It's like I heard a stranger talking about MY inner life. It's like I could finally hear and see all of the pieces of the puzzle that is me...
I was finally able to start seeing a psychiatrist in September of 2022. I told her about the ADHD suspicion straight away. I started official testing for it in October last year and got officially diagnosed halfway through December (inattentive or mixed type). 😊 I've been prescribed ritalin, and I've noticed a definite improvement in being able to get my job done.
Meanwhile, I've been on the waiting list for getting tested at the expert centre for autism diagnosis here in Belgium, since July last year. I scored a 36 on the AQ i did at the psychiatrist's. How long that waiting list is, no one seems to know. Probably more than a year. 🙄
I'm just trying to be ME right now, whoever that is. 40 years of always knowing something was off about me, never figuring out what made me so weird. 😅 It's a relief to finally know. 🖤
Nothing's "wrong" with me. I'm just wired differently. 😂🖤
Sorry for the length of this post, but hey - you asked for it. 🙄😁 And thank you. Thank you for the content you provide. 🙏 You're doing an amazing job. 🖤
Love Purple Ella! Her video on RSD was a lifesaver for me. The clinician who described RSD theorized that it is specific to ADHD, and I’m not sure that’s so - but at the time I was sure it wasn’t, because I was sure I didn’t have ADHD. Oops! I’m combined too.
Ella provided the final piece of that puzzle, talking about how ADHDers lean on adrenaline to focus. I realized that doing that in my job was the biggest factor in my fight or flight getting much worse.
I'm 61, I have recently self diagnosed as autistic, about 30 years ago I was at university (I served 10 yeàrs in the military straight out of school). At university a few of my friends and I had a conversation on the top of are we autistic, but last year I was telling a story to my daughter and the comment was made "Dad, do you not know your autistic", that started me thinking and I decided a month later to get diagnosed. Here in the UK NHS is frée, but 3 year wait for testing, I've been learning all about autism from some you tube videos, so as I'm waiting for an official diagnosis I have self diagnosed. But thought I'd share.
That's what happened to me with the burnout after the pandemic.... It really went downhill from there and absolutely crashed after I got sick myself and lost my sense of smell. And I (still) couldn't cope...and it made me realize that I have an abnormal "relationship" with smell. In hindsight, smells were always extremely important to me and I used them to calm down. Combining aromas etc gave me such joy in my life and when it was gone, I felt shattered, like I'm not part of the world anymore...like a ghost. I just couldn't get over it, everyone else was like "well that sucks, but hey it's just smell" and to me that was mind boggling, because to me, it was everything, my whole world. 😔 Anyways this made me realize that my brain might be working a little bit differently and well I was right. 🤷🏻♀️
I fell in love with someone who is autistic and has been my colleague for several years. I started watching videos about being in a relationship with someone who is neurodivergent to get tips on how to communicate. Slowly, I started to realize that the tips made a lot of sense to me!! It was this slow dawning but everything made sense that I was autistic - my introversion, my need to take naps after a long meeting at work, my quirky friends (who don't tire me out BTW), my shutdown modes when I'm saturated, my lists, my love of animals (bc they don't judge), my candor, I simply don't understand the concept of FOMO, etc
1./2. I got my dx first, and we're now having a cascade - one child dx autistic, spouse dx ADHD, another child question mark. I feel bad though because the "they're just like me" factor probably held us back from seeking help sooner.
3./5./7. I sought mine because a friend posted a "if you [xyz] you might be autistic" meme. I read it and thought "but everyone does that", but noticed that replies to her post were firmly split between "lol yep that's me" and "wow is that what it's like?" I was already in trauma therapy so asked my therapist about the idea, and she helped me fast track my dx. Understanding that I'm autistic has been really helpful for therapy more generally because we understand what neurological model we are actually dealing with. You can't simply apply typical EMDR/CBT/etc processes to a brain they're not designed for. Tweaking that process has made all the difference.
More generally I am very supportive and accepting of self-identification because I have never met anybody who was professionally dx autistic without actively seeking that dx (or in the case of a child, their parents were the ones actively seeking it). You already know you are - you're just there to get it in black and white. Self-identification is a *necessary step* on the route to diagnosis. And this is why the actual diagnosis is cause for celebration, not despair.
Great video as always. Thanks, Paul.
I'm so glad u said that about the TH-cam algorithm!! I fearfully told a couple friends about having that experience (specifically female autism videos popped up) & they basically scoffed at me. My phone didn't hear something about autism as they suggested, as I'd been alone at home recovering from surgery for a week, delving obsessively into the Gabby Petito tragedy on. TH-cam & sleeping. I wasn't lying around conversing with myself out loud or watching TV shows at all.
One of my Facebook friends posted an online autism quiz, I took it and that's how my journey started. I was 40.
Nr 8. My husband 'fell apart' when he was diagnosed with a degenerative spine disease and therefore permanently lost his job. He had daily meltdowns. I googled about anger issues. Somehow it led me to meltdowns in Autism. Everything fell into place for us. Unfortunately doctors and our social environment didn't accept our diagnosis until he was officially diagnosed a few years later...
I did realise I was autistic after my child was diagnosed.
But my 'child' was already 25 years old at this point (he was born in 1994 and nobody ever picked up on it at school because he was highly intelligent/not at all disruptive, despite his very obvious and debilitating social difficulties).
And a very big YES to the major burnout. It had already been going on for years when I realised what it was and it's now impossible to recover from.
I can relate to that last statement! I’d like to think I can recover, but so many years of being undiagnosed AuDHD have left a lot of mental health problems. I feel glad for the people whose outlook has been substantially improved by their diagnosis, but a year in I’m not experiencing that. My life wasn’t so terrible before I declined over the course of my fifties, but now every day is a struggle. Regression I guess.
When I was in Highschool, one of my teachers approached me, handed me a note with a phone number and asked me if I had been evaluated for adhd before. He saw me struggle and went out of his way to find a therapist. Unfortunately, back then I thought seeing a therapist means that i am „insane“, so I hid the phone number in my room and eventually discarded it.
Years later I started reading more about adhd and remembered what my teacher said to me. I was diagnosed with adhd after making an appointment.
Due to my adhd diagnosis I also stumbled across asd, because both are somewhat similar and i could relate a lot to the asd aspects as well. So now I am looking into an asd assessment. I don’t know if I could be on the autism spectrum, but it’s worth looking into it.
😆 I had all of them. First major burnout, then my child diagnosed, then ADHD diagnosis, then major life change (divorce), finally recognised by my psychologist followed by self discovery. It has been a bit of a process... male, 47 years with 5x neurodiverse kids 😊
Ones I relate to: The algorithm diagnosed me (TH-cam and reels), long time search (been through several diagnoses since high school (1990's) that didn't quite fit and explain all the things, depression, anxiety, etc), Major burnout (I quite my job in 2021 due to burnout that I thought was solely work related), Big life changes (build up of changes after my dad died in 2017, my mom moving in w me, pandemic, my kids becoming adults, and all the things just accumulating).
I feel like I was probably diagnosed through TH-cam. I was curious about what it was because some of my favorite TH-camrs are autistic, so I clicked on one of your videos 😊 When I saw what it was and what the symptoms are, I started realizing how many traits I have. I might be a teenager and my mom might not let me get professionally diagnosed, but I'm glad I noticed it sooner in life.
My self discovery process was kicked off by stumbling across one of your videos of common autistic traits! This was during a period of major burnout that resulted in a hospital admission. I was browsing psychology videos on youtube (special interest) when one of your videos was suggested. It was the "oh shit" lightbulb moment! Thankyou so much, you played a pivotal part in my journey that has led to a diagnosis and a much better understanding of myself.
Im 34. Never fit in with the other kids: i was either a leader or an outsider, thats it. Once puberty hit and social status became more important i became miserable - around 10. Ive been trying to feel better since then. Working so hard to "fix" my mental health. It wasn't until i learned about ADHD and Autism that I found things that worked well enough for me to feel happy and balanced. I finally feel i can cope with life.
My Mom is unfortunately in camp #7/8. I suppose I kind of am too as I haven't ever thrived as an adult... and I've definitely had all thought thoughts and feelings about it being me (which it was but not in a needs fixing way, in a needs accommodation way)
I'm sure I'm autistic, but I've learned as I've gotten old that you have to not worry about being different.
Just be yourself and enjoy life the best you can.
Everyone in this world is different in many ways.
You don't have to fit into a mold, you are an individual.
I really had no idea that I was autistic until my son was diagnosed. When I spoke about this to others, several of them said that they were not in the least surprised.
I'm in my mid-thirties. Never had an inkling that I might have been autistic... until the pandemic. It was the isolation, working from home (my industry has yet to return to offices and likely never will) that exposed all of the systems and coping mechanisms I had been relying on my entire life....
Thankfully, due to 7 and 9 in your video (I began seeing a mental health professional for the first time in 2020) I'm now equipped with tools and methods to tackle obstacles and goals in my life in the fashion I was accustomed to. Great video!
For me it was watching "Extraordinary Attorney Woo" at the age of 53. It was the first representation of an autistic female in a professional setting. I'd heard of autistic females, but I thought is was a. rare, b. came with severe mental disability and behavioural challenges (likely to be institutionalised). This was so different! It made me look into the 'female' presentation of autism more, and boy, did I see myself in that!
I got diagnosed by the youtube algorithm. I kept seeing videos pop up in my feed, but I didn't click on thrm until quarantine 2020 when I couldn't think of anything else to do. The first one I watched was actaully one of yours :)
fun thing about the ADHD-first way is that for those of us who are above a certain age, this literally excluded us from the autism diagnosis because we were diagnosed under a different edition of the DSM. I feel like I never see this talked about much but it's something that was so huge in my understanding of autism and myself. it used to be, can't have that, you have this other diagnosis, end of story. and now AuDHD is just a thing??? definitely a lot of re-thinking and re-discovering to do because now the big book opens up completely different possibilities to someone who exhibits the exact same symptoms. I never changed, but the book all the doctors use did.
To me (33 years old) it was not suggested by a psychologist but actually by a friend while joking about how weird some of my eating and general habits are. She was like "Ever did a test about autism?" and I was "no" and the day after I reaserched just a short time in the internet and suddenly so many situations I my life made finally sense. That's now about three months ago and I researched a lot and convinced I've been autistic my whole life, allthough my parents are strict against this thought. I now waiting for an offical diagnoses but mainly just to get it on paper for other people. For me it's clear.
#7 here, major burnout. Was suffering of being overstimulated all day everyday at work for years, until the extra stress and negativity of the covid period finally broke me
The end of your video made me feel better about being self diagnosed, thank you ❤
I'm a bit of combination of 1,2,3,5,7,&8. Though when i brought it up to my therapist she said that makes sense right away. And that she had considered it but hadn't decided to bring it up yet. So almost 9 too.
There were just a lot of signs. Raising a kid with ASD3. Trying to learn about it to help understand him. Which led to the algorithm giving me tons of videos. Having friends, their kids and other family getting diagnosed. Then just always knowing how i couldn't understand why i was so different from other people. Going through another major burnout due to having a lot of extra stress from winding up physically disabled. It has been a rollercoaster. And a lot of the quizes online. Sometimes over and over just trying to score closer to "normal" and not. Not even close. Till I gave up and talked to my husband. Then eventually my therapist. So yeah its been a lot.
And yeah looking back on growing up I just shake my head at how all the adults in my life totally missed it while i was growing up. And annoyed that all i ever got labeled by them was as weird, strange, not quite right, and yes even as "a bit of a freak but in a cute way".
The sensory issues i have always had didn't clue them in. My near always lack of many or any friends, nope. The bluntness and them constantly telling me i was too blunt/rude. After they insisted and drilled into that honesty was the best policy and i wasn't allowed to lie. The fact i never talked hardly at all to anyone anywhere outside of my house. Nope not a clue. And my tip toes was attributed to wanting to be a ballerina because i was a girl. I didn't see a ballerina or know what one was until i had been doing it for years. And the fact they constantly told me i played weird also not a clue. Go figure.
But it was fine for them cause i was a quiet girl who followed rules. So it didn't matter i struggled. At least i didn't cause waves.
Needless to say as a mom i am trying to pay a lot more attention to my kids and not just leave them struggling on their own for decades like i was made to.
I cannot thank you enough for helping me. I somehow fell upon your channel while in total desperation, looking for answers, hitting rock bottom. I have been seriously thinking of ending my life over this life-long torment I've endured for over 50 years. Thank you for giving me that light bulb "holy shit this is me 100%" moment. It is quite possible that you have saved a life worth living. X
One of my colleagues picked up adhd in me, then a few months later a different colleague picked up autism. I have been researching ever since and bingo! I'm 42 and undiagnosed. I just had a big moment at the mention of engineering..... the amount of times I've thought to myself 'I should have been an engineer' lol. I'm noticing I'm most comfortable with others like me too. Perhaps I'm now finding my peace?
My journey started at 19 years old(2010) when Facebook was constantly recommending me colleges for people with disabilities and autism. At the time I didn't know why, but looking back my posts always complained about sensory issues or social problems. I just missed out on insurances covering an examination and nobody would listen to me until 2018. currently looking into getting an official diagnosis so that I can find any help available to me. I have a lot of traumas from peer rejection, adults not understanding me, being intelligent, but way behind in social and self care skills, etc. you all know the struggles. Traditional therapy has helped but I have reached a block where Therapists try to push me to get out of my "comfort zone" in which I become so overwhelmed, I become a vegetable rocking in the corner unable to do anything.
I was just having this discussion with another autistic TH-camr. Therapy, including the self analysis I do a lot of (my mind has become my special interest), has been useful in learning to understand myself, but yes. It can be too much, pushing anxiety and big emotions past a manageable point. I’m trying to focus on comfort zones more and getting lost in my head less. Paul had a good discussion on CBT a few months ago, and one of the things discussed was that neurodivergent people don’t necessarily get good results from aggressive therapy.
@@jimwilliams3816 I did take a psychology class at the time and became interested in how genes and environment influence behavior. My special interest is evolution so I really like learning how environments, genes, behavior and learning interact in most contexts. Yeah just had to find a new therapist due to insurance change and it's going too fast. Seems to think I am "comfortable" as they say and that is why I am stuck or whatever. Started asking if I ever considered moving out of state, going to grad school, what I want to do with my life... etc. Felt kinda attacked when I started talking about how all the changes involved would be awful for me. The stress of the insurance change and new therapy was enough to give me hives from the thought of all of it!
After 30 years of treatment for mental health issues I had improved some but felt stuck. I felt like ending it all.
Now I am diagnosed with autism and I realize why I had been stuck.
For the ADHD I didn't show any signs but as an adult it shows when I am having a conversation and midsentence forget what we are talking about. It's so embarrassing. I was diagnosed bi polar 1&2 then ADHD. I am still struggling with the talking and following conversations. My psychologist and I are working to find the right medications and coping skills. I saw a therapist a couple of times I might see her again now that I have something to talk about. I really like how much you are helping those of us who might not get the help they need.
I am self-diagnosed but it's been a strange ride! I was watching one of your videos because a close friend was diagnosed and I wanted to learn more to support them. By the end of the video I was crying. I had been in therapy for about 4 years, and mainly talked about depression and anxiety. My therapist immediately agreed, and treated me as though they'd always known. After another year, they put it in my chart and sent me on my way haha.😅 Turns out, my sister, and a couple of her children are neurodivergent, so I'm also diagnosed by peer-review and genetics!
Am 37, and my son diagnosed autism 2 months ago. Then, after learning about autism in a month ago, was like oooohhh… sh****!!! Am autistic since I was a child!!
i dont know how i am only just now finding your channel, but just wow - i relate so much to your content! i have felt insane over communication with people and just feeling like i do not really fit in anywhere my whole life. too many words... but thank you, your content is really helpful.
For me it was a combination of "A friend gets diagnosed for autism", "A Long Time Search" and "TH-cam Autism content"
My friend got diagnosed years ago, and I clicked very well with her, but never made a connection. Since I had a strongly stigmatized view of Autism (Which she didn't fit, but whatever), and thought "nah, I'm not like that", and didn't bother researching. I was however on a long search for answers, which were somewhat answered by BPD, PTSD and Depression Diagnosis, but not really.
At some point my Search stumbled on co-morbidities and realized, that I tick way more ADHD than I do PTSD - Which is why TH-cam started suggesting content. At some point, I watched one Short, that mentioned a big major problem I had all my live, and said it was autistic.
You can probably imagine the rabbit hole I fell into after that. And I started to recognize the parts, as to why I click so well with my autistic friend and so on.
Fun stories
Very good, I’m so glad I found your helpful channel.
I have been a self-diagnosed engineer for two decades, too, before realizing there was something more to it.
How strange! I went to school to learn autism...
Number 1 to 8 fit for me. My son is in a diagnostic process and I really resonate with autistic friends. I did a lot of research on autism as I am a teacher for special education needs. I got diagnosed with ADHD two years ago and I read some books from/about autistic poeple that really hit home. I also had a massive burnout last year.
The only Problem is, that yet no one who would be able to give me an official diagnose took me seriously. I just can‘t be autistic. Too social, too self, aware too succesfull in life.
My self dignosis started with a journey to fit in. I knew i could not connect with people i lived with. I was always told that i was different in a bad sense. Then i met an autistic child. And i realised i liked them, they made sense to me. During that time i realised the similarity. Interacted with online community and quickly fit in. Then i took some online tests. I did flag it up with professionals but was told i was wrong. Then i continued seeing the similarity as i work primarily with autistic children.
Gosh, listening to this makes me so emotional... Though, a great video again, Paul!
Thank you that's really helpful. 🎉
TH-cam totally diagnosed me first 🥰 but, before that a good neurodivergent/ Autistic friend I found, on a online support group, pointed it out in me 😊 Said with kindness and respect 🙂
As a retired teacher of 28 years, I have been fascinated by autism in children. I also seem to bond well with autistic children. I am not too sure what that means but I also love the idea of meeting people with quirks.
I am finding your videos so helpful. Thank you so much. Your topics often cover the questions I have and are really helpful. I wanted to acknowledge your work and your honesty.
Thank you for this. It's really validating. Quality content.
Thank you so much for this video. It was very helpful because I’m still in the discovery phase.
Definately #5 following trauma, multiple therapy sessions aimed at PTSD but ineffective, discovered that my inability to mask due to overwhelm led to odd behaviours coming to the surface, became more obvious over time. Currently awaiting diagnosis aged 50. Never too late for understanding.
Number 4 was my a-ha moment. I brushed aside by my GP and I did nothing for many years. It wasn't until I entered a prolonged period of burnout that I revisted the subject and got my Dx.
I am 30 and found out through my best friend last year... she told me she thought I was already diagnosed and that it is very obvious (she is also autistic) and I said I had never even considered it before... well, I told my psych and they agreed!
Long time searching and hearing about the experiences of autistic adults.
A combination of 2, 3, 4, 5 and 7, with your videos having a big part. Thanks.
I've always been aware that I'm "different" but always chocked it down to being quirky. My parents regularly asked why I make friends with all the "weirdos/misfits" who I'm now aware are my neurodivergent friends. Many times, my DIAGNOSED friends have suggested I may be autistic as well at which I took a bit of offense to. During the pandemic, I experienced what at the time, I thought was depression but was actually burn out. That led me down the research rabbit hole and I started to put the pieces together. Labeled gifted as a child, ALL the inattentive adhd symptoms, counting on 2 hands worth of autism symptoms according to DSM. I considered getting a formal diagnosis but a friend of mine who was diagnosed as a child said, "if you don't think it will necessarily improve your life, don't worry about it. Your hunch is good enough"
This is fascinating. I knew my brain was wired differently from before my normal, as we understand it, memories began. There are many aspects of autism and being wired differently and additional traits that add to the soup-mix of who you are. I have experienced periods of burn out, but they are all related to an insatiable drive to learn and absorb more life than can be processed at once.. the burn out for me was more akin to my mind defragging and ordering and updating itself than a full on crash. Fascinating video.
My journey started with one of your videos. I had never searched anything about autism before but there was that video at the top of the recommendations. I got intrigued by it and decided to watch it. And guess what...
This is such a great video