so, this is life
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ส.ค. 2024
- Hello friends,
Oh man - what a life update to share. The past couple of weeks have been emotionally rough for me, and on top of that, I’ve encountered so much change in the past six months. One thing that has really helped me during this time is journaling. So in this video, I voiced over some of my raw journal entries. I’m not the best writer, but I hope that letting these emotions and words out into the universe will help me heal. If you’ve read this far, here’s a reminder to give your loved ones a call ♥
xx,
Julia
p.s. go support my sister alice's channel! @WondereLand_Official she also streams on twitch / wondereland
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• // Living in China
[about me]
Hi everyone my name is Julia ~ I'm a 20-something-year-old data scientist navigating through life in NYC. You can find vlogs, fashion & beauty content, productivity videos, and more on my channel. Thanks for stopping by & I hope you enjoy :)
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email: laujuliafei@gmail.com
for anyone finding themselves missing a loved one, my mom once told me that whenever you feel or think to yourself "dang, i really miss them." that feeling is them missing you too.
I didn't cry watching the video, but I did after reading this reply
Thanks Julia. For the first three minutes of the video I almost cried at work so I had to pause this video to take a breather. This year my grandmother passed away and it was a surprise to all my family members. We all thought that it was going to be a short visit at the hospital and she stayed longer than usual. This is my first close relative death experience so I wasn’t expecting this to happen in my 20s. My other friend had received news that his grandfather passed away a couple of months later. I hadn’t expect that death would be experienced so soon in our 20s but it’s just another reminder to cherish your loved ones around you before it’s too late.
This. Are you in your mid 20s? I feel like we just started with life and then experience death of loved ones already
Aw, mental hugs sent your way. I hope the memories and love you have shared with your grandma, give your heart some comfort during the moments when you miss her.
I’m attracted to white males not grandmothers that’s nasty
I wish I can leave a voice note for this comment for some reason but I’ll settle for the next best 😅
This is beautiful, Julia. You showed through this vlog that grief happens alongside daily living; it’s not just sobbing and days you can’t get out of bed. It’s that, AND eating good food. Being with family. Laughter. Joy.
Take care of yourself, Julia. Big hugs! 💓
Julia - I'm really loving your recent vlogs. Thanks for allowing viewers to have a sneak peak into what you've been going through, even some of the deeply raw and personal ones.
Omg I’m so sorry to hear, Julia. You’re such a strong, bright soul. Sending lots of love to you and your family.
cloei
I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad this vlog was filled with happy moments with your family! When my grandpa passed, even at his funeral or "celebration of life," we all continued to laugh and smile as if he were still with us. Thanks for sharing these moments with us. 🙂
Also, Asian parents ARE rough, lol.
Thank you for sharing Julia. I rarely comment but I could relate to your video so much. My mum is from Canton too and she passed last year. She was only 59. I had just come back from holiday and I knew the news she had for me would change my life forever. Pancreatic cancer - she went from fit and healthy to gone within 3 months. We rushed back to Canton so she could say goodbye to her friends and family. As soon as we came back home to Australia she was hospitalised and never came home. It all happened so quickly. I lost the closest person of my life. Watching your video I have such fond memories of Canton and feel more connected and proud of my family's heritage than ever, even though I was born in and grew up in a Western country. I am in my late 20s and it's easy to lose sight of what's most important in the hustle and bustle of life. I am lucky to have had such an amazing mum and in spite of everything we have to perceive and make the most of life
I’m sorry for your loss, that’s so young ❤
I’m sorry for your loss
I can really relate to you :'( my grandpa passed away last year in guangzhou when I was stuck in the US. I just remember the last thing he said to me was to study hard 🤧🤧and every time I cook cauliflower I just recall those days when my grandpa used to cook cauliflower for me every week just because I once said to him I really loved the cauliflower he cooked for me 🥲🥲 the way grandparents express how they care about their grandchildren is just this simple
i discovered you when you first started your break in china and came back today after hearing you ended the job series - congrats! love your videos, they are so well shot and well written
also you so real for showing the swim cap footage mad respectt
julia, i’ve been subbed for a short time but i’m sorry for your loss. really happy to hear that you’re spending time with family and happy to hear you speak canto fluently as a fellow canto american speaker!! sending love to you and your family during this time ❤
i'm sorry for your loss. this video felt like a big hug to me, thank you for articulating the words i haven't been able to properly recognize during my own time of grief when my grandpa died. 🥺
I'm so sorry for your loss!
Thanks for this video, I cried a lot with your words at the beginning of the video because I lost my dear aunt about 6 months ago. Those who part will live in our hearts when we remember them with love!
the journal entries were so poignant and beautiful julia! I'm glad your grandparents are now reunited
God the beginning made me cry. Beautifully sad, but awakening
hi julia. this video is so beautifully and authentically shot and written.. your voice and words help us connect with the emotions you are going thru in this extremely difficult moment in your family, and my heart goes to all of you. i love your reference to the bitter melon in the end, which makes me think of eason chan's cantonese song "foo gwa" and how we learn to appreciate these bitter moments of pain as a part of life only as we grow up. sending lot of love
So sorry for your loss. This is the best video I’ve ever watched on TH-cam. Thank you so much for sharing. You are a very talented writer. ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost a relative recently and it was really unexpected. It fundamentally triggered me to rethink about life and work. I am older and work in tech as well. Our industry is tough and it feels like the last 20 years just went by in a blink for me. That Chinese medicine doctor/master's question about whether you work late - well that struck me, too...:) I admire your determination in finding a perfect job with balancing your side hustle, and wish you the best in your search!
I even do not have the courage to play this video, it must be very tough period…hope you will start new journey soon, all the good luck to you ❤
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤ this video was so beautiful and your thoughts really stuck with me. Grief is such a strange thing. There’s no timeline for it to end and it can sneak up on you when you least expect it. Take all the time you need and lots of good energy your way
Julia, you have such a beautiful way with words, and putting so much feeling and emotion into a coherent thought that I have felt but could never explain myself. Grief is so universal, yet so unique to each person. Thank you for sharing your experiences in this life, even the painful ones. Sending positive vibes to you and your family. It was nice to see them all in this vlog. Alice is so funny, and your dad is too sweet! He needs that sponsorship 😂
This was so beautiful and made me cry! I’m so sorry for your loss but I’m glad your grandparents are reunited ❤
Sending lots of love Julia❤️❤️❤️ we love you!
I had the same experience as you for my grandad in March. Being so far travelling half the world to say my last goodbye telling my family to wait for me to say goodbye and feeling so much pain all the way the closer to get to be home. I’m sorry for your loss. ❤ being there was the greatest feeling afterwards I’m so grateful that I moved water and earth (I lost my passport and had to ask for an emergency one on the same day luckily my ambassy abroad did one for me)
Condolences to you and your family. It was really touching, almost shed a tear in the beginning. Made me think of the times I spent with my grandma too, even though she has already passed away for over 16 years. Best of luck on your job search and future endeavours.
seriously why am I crying right now 😭
What a beautiful tribute. Best wishes on the next chapter- wishing you time to rest and remember.
Sending much love ❤ both my grandpas died within 12 months two years ago and I only have one grandma left. They were all pretty young. Sometimes I forget I don’t have either grandpa and I’ll often talk about them in the present tense. When my grandma died the grief hit me hard and it was like the world stopped. It was the first death I experienced of someone close to me. When my grandpas died, I was so busy and it happened so quickly it felt like the world kept spinning without them. I feel like I never got to process their deaths the same as my grandmas and I have trouble even remembering that time. Grief works in funny ways
Wow what a great video I randomly came across. It's such a refreshing change from the mindless and negative videos that often get promoted on TH-cam. I truly wish TH-cam would highlight more creators like you who put so much heart and effort into their work.
I just responded on your latest video but again I want to say I am so sorry about your grandmother. I am glad you were able to spend time with your family through all of this. Despite the sad affair, it was great to see you all laughing and commiserating. Whenever I've lost relatives in my life, I've found that laughing and sharing moments that someone has shared with the deceased help to get you through those dark moments. I've personally found that it makes my bond stronger with those that I am experiencing those moments with. Thanks for sharing your entry about grief. I like your dad's comments about the restaurant. That place was nice and I love the tableware. Those small teacups were so cute. I also shocked about the size difference in how US vs Asia sizing. That's mind-blowing. Thanks for taking your viewers along on this trip.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I came to the US 10 years ago and I haven’t had a chance to visit my home country since. My grandmother passed away during my final exam week in my last semester, it was one of my regrettable moments that I didn’t make it home to see her. Three months later, my grandfather suddenly passed away. I didn’t make it to his funeral either. Grief is something that only time can heal, as least you have beautiful memories with your grandmother. My last hugs from my grandparents was 10 years ago when I said goodbye to them at the airport 😢
listening to this also made me think about the recent trip i took back to guangzhou to see my grandma that i hadn't seen in over 6 years. thank you for sharing this and I hope you are taking care of yourself!
What a touching vlog, Julia! Sending you and your family all the support right now and appreciate your vulnerability.
Love your family! They seem to be very fun to be around! especially your dad! He made me laugh alot!
I'm so sorry for your loss, I Julia. This is such a beautiful video about loss, I grief and well life. It made me cry...
this video means so much to me. the beginning of this video has me in tears, I love my grandparents so much
bro has me crying in the club. i lost my dad five years ago, and it still hurts. the words you said at the beginning of this video resonated so much with me. especially the part where scars remind us that we experienced something, and that the love is real. life doesn't really get 'better' after someone you love dies. it's just different. even though i'm okay now, and ive healed, i still wonder how things would be if my dad was still alive. hang in there, love your videos, and wishing you the best.
I'm so sorry for your loss Julia. I know it may be hard right now but you will get through this! Love what you have created and emotions you've shared, always know so many people are cheering you on!
So sorry for your loss, girl. This video is so sweet... A beautiful way to show your grief and how life inevitable and painfully goes on. You're young and smart. Everything will be ok
I'm glad you're in tune with what really matters 😊
I'm sorry for your loss, and I hopw you can find the strength during your grief. Relationship with grandparents is like a mystery to me. My father's parents had already passed when I was born, and my mother's parents were abroad, so as a child, my family didn't have enough money to travel and see tgem often. So, even when we kept in touch, it wasn't the same. I never got to know them well. I do understand that fear of loss, since my parents are now in that age in which I have to understand that time is not on our side, so I try to embrace those moments with them, to keep them in my memory and heart.
I recently learn this concept - anything and everything in life has no meaning (neutral meaning) until we ourselves gives it a meaning.
My first death experience is the death of my mom - she had cancer and during COVID time, I was unable to go back due to restrictions as I am working abroad.
I was in so much grief at the time, and during that griefing process, I realized that what my mother represents to me was safety, and now that she is gone, I felt my safety person is gone... Fast forward to 4 years later, the me now, I learned to find safety within myself and my perspective on my mom's death has changed as well - I see it as celebratory event instead of sad event, seeing her struggling just to be alive is heart breaking, her death to me now means she is not struggling anymore and she can move on to next phase of her journey on the other side... I can 100% said now that I have fully accepted and embraced her death wholeheartedly.
Thank you Mother. Thank you for being my Mother on this lifetime, and for everything! I love you and we'll see each other again soon ❤🎉
Thank you for sharing your story Julia. Unfortunately for me, my grandparents passed away when I wasn't even 20. Hearing your story has reminded me of them. One thing I've learned through the years is that, like you said, they are never fully gone. As long as you remember them, they will always be here. We carry them with us because we wouldn't be who we are if it wasn't for them. Big hug to everyone who has gone or is going through a loss.
It's so painful losing a loved one. I lost someone about seven months ago and yet, sometimes, when I'm in the car, when a certain song comes on, I tear instantly. I'm sorry for your loss 🙏
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my grandmother this year and it was very hard to deal with it and there was a lot of grieve. But at the same time, life goes on. So I totally understand what you said about a new chapter that has begun❤❤
This made me cry, so beautifully done. I thoroughly enjoyed the voiceovers
I'm going into a really uncertain period in my life and needed to hear this right now. Thank you
A cuddle here. Bereavement is like a lifelong lesson to learn but luckily we still get ppl around who love us to accompany us through. Julia, thanks.❤
I'm sorry for your loss🥺♥️♥️ glad you got to spend a few days with your family 🙏🏼
This is such a beautiful video, Julia! My condolences to you and your family at this hard time. Losing a grandparent is one of the hardest things to go through and the grief never truly goes away
julia, i’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother. your love for her has been felt so strongly through the screen (and touched our hearts) in many of your videos. sending you lots of love and peace during this time. xoxoxoxoxoxxoxo
I'm also at the point where my 4 grandparents passed away. It doesn't get easier thinking the next big loss I'll experience is my own parents. They got me pretty late in life so it's probably going to happen way sooner than I'd like. Nothing to do but to let yourself feel your feelings and surround yourself with good people to get through it.
Thank you for sharing this, Julia. You and this beautiful video are a testimony to your grandmother and the love she showed you. My deepest condolences to you and yours 🕊️
Alice is such a fun..and your dad too. Btw sorry to hear about your loss.
As someone who has also recently lost two of the beloved grandparents, this was a touching and beautiful love letter to your family.
I'm so sorry for your resent loss.
Your video was gorgeous with the voice over. ❤
Thanks Julia for share the particular time in your life with us.
By the way, I feel you are the 100% copy of your father ♥
XO from Brazil
☺
Take care!
So sorry to hear. Probably this will not sound good at this moment. But in the future you would be happy at least to have such amazing memories of them. And far away you will be a grandparent and make those memories for your grandchildren.
Beautifully tributed to your grandmother. The end of the vlog where you and Alice were talking about your experience at the pharmacy make me laugh.. it is a similar culture in Japan where everything feels smaller in size
Deepest condolences to you and your family, Julia. Meaningful narratives about life. Thank you for sharing.
I think you are a beautiful writer. Thank you for sharing this intimate family moment. I loved the ending when your sister got sprayed in the face lol. Keep sharing!
I’m sorry Julia. But I also
Love when you are in China and you go places that I have been and see how it’s changed. I do remember the food on circle trays and the chefs are always therein white hats and a white linen cloth over their arm. Thank you for sharing your life. Btw I was 96 lbs when ever I went to China. I too was a much bigger size there 😂😂😂
wow... you have great content! new subscriber!
hi julia. sending u much love from malaysia. i visited guangzhou for the first time in my life on the last week of may. it rained almost every day and the humidity was intense. i also tried charlie's tea and had dim sum. i wish to visit guangzhou again during drier months. early this year, i lost my dad. it was pretty sudden. so the grief still lingers. but life still goes on so let's hang in there, stay strong and work things out at our own pace. ❤
Im so sorry for your loss,Julia. I miss my grandparents every day and we still talk about them all the time so they are always present xxx sending love xxx
Somehow things always manage to happen for a reason and to always work out, even if it takes longer than expected on the job front. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m also so glad you had the time and space to go home so much and visit when you and your family need it most. Sending lots of love
Watching this brings back memories of my beloved grandmother. I won't deny it.. I miss her so much. Julia, your video moved me to tears. Nonetheless, thank you for sharing this. It's a beautiful video!
I am so sorry for your loss. Out of 4 grandparents, i only met and knew 2 grandparents and my grandmother (mom's side passed a few years ago and I'm only left with 1 grandfather from my mom's side), i never got the chance to meet any of my father's parents and i only know them through pictures. Death really is a thief, and nothing in this world can fill that void.
Sending you so much love ❤️ and comfort from Zambia 🇿🇲 ❤️.
I’m sorry for your loss Julia. I lost my grandma last month too. I really missed her. Stay strong!
a video of both sweetness and bitterness - so is life
thank you julia for sharing this with us!
Dear Julia,
it is heartbreaking to be seeing your beloved ones pass away. No words can explain that and I know such events are life-changing, you cannot go back to before the pain. But life goes on and good things (and bad things) will happen, I hope you have the strength and comfort to overcome and enjoy the journey
Thank you Julia for your words. 😭🥺
Sending prayers and lots of love and virtual hugs to you and your family.
I'm sorry, Julia! Sending condolences to you and your family. I know it's hard!
This was a beautiful video to watch. Thank you for sharing and my condolences on your loss. My mom passed on May 2nd and I miss her very much.
This video made me cry immediately, beautifully said, Julia!
I’m so sorry for your loss, Julia. Sending you much aroha from New Zealand.
The doctor is cool. I have the same experience in my country, my doctor, along with traditional medicine, learned for 20 years in China. Actually, before they can diagnose by pulse the learn it about 10 or even more years. Take care of yourself, Julia, the doctor is right. Very often we push ourselve to much. Thank you for sharing beutiful moments with your family❤
you are so eloquent and talented. sending all my love to you and your family.
Sending my love and support for you, Julia. Hope everything turns out to be sweeter at last.
one of the most beautiful videos on this site
this is out of context, but the way you speak cantonese is soooo ✨✨✨✨✨ LOVE IT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you Julia. My grandmother is in a hospital in the Philippines right now and I’m in the U.S. Her condition is not good, and this past week has been challenging. Im thinking of her everyday. I’m also thinking about my trip to go home.
Keeping you and her in my thoughts ❤ stay strong
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing.
You are so adorable and your life is incredibly beautiful. Always thank u for sharing your story.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't expect to laugh out loud though. Both at your saying hi to the billboard of Xiao Zhan (beautiful man) and the scale thing.
Your videos are the best Julia❤
Sorry for your loss! My uncle died some years ago, sometimes I think he's still out there somewhere on a business trip... Death is hard to grasp. I do wonder where people and all their thoughts and emotions suddenly go when they die.
this was such a beautifully crafted and well-articulated vlog. your thoughts really made me reflect on how i can choose to be more present with my loved ones. thanks for creating this. sending you lots of love and well wishes! ~
this was soooo beautifully done Julia.
Sending love and light your way Julia. My deepest condolences... 🤍
Sending many hugs for you, Julia 💙
❤So sorry for your loss.
the glimpses into Asia are pretty cool.
“That’s why you’re no fun.” ♥️
Thank you Julia for this video🫂💌
I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma. I lost my last living grandparent-also my grandmother-right around when your Grandfather passed away earlier this year. Your vlogs from that period provided me so much comfort during that time-sometimes just knowing your not alone is so helpful.
I like to think that any time a loved one who has passed on crosses my mind, they are with me in spirit. Hope you and your family are doing okay, and glad we got to see the moments of fun/joy sprinkled throughout your trip, too!
My condolences to you and your family❤️
Thank you for sharing this Julia! 🫶
I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤
What a beautiful video :’) I’m calling my grandparents today