How To Get Your Shoes Shiny - James May's Man Lab
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2024
- Grubby shoes? Then you are not a man. But don't fear, we've flown in Platoon Sgt. Mark Buckingham to set the bar for shiny shoes. So shiny he can see the queens face in them.
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the sarge must polish a lot, his right arm is way bigger than his left.
sarnt not sarge
+Jack Parfitt I'm an American
oh sorry my mistake
not a mistake, just a cultural difference. :). I did learn that you Brits abbreviate it as sarnt, so thank you that's cool.
ok I understand
Still better than new Top Gear!
So true!
I'm glad they revived themselves with grand tour
I agree 100%
I can watch a 10 minute video of James preparing and eating a cheese without commentary than *that* tbh
to be honest thays a low bar to clear. though this is still quality entertainment
"Because you're weak." Epic!
Gotta love the beret reshape immediately after everyone had the awkward laugh.
Do not be weak. This is important.
My Dad was taught this when he did his national service and it's how I still polish my shoes today. Very effective, makes your shoes wonderfully waterproof and they last for years.
"cause your weak" Bahahahah i love british humor
What's british about insults? Have ever watched an American army film? They're always saying that sort of stuff.
A. Tee It's saying it in a sarcastic funny way.
Wouldn't really say this is a good example of our humour to be honest. This guy is just trying overly hard to act the hard man.
There's a curtain dry sarcasm that goes with the delivery. Americans have a version of it but it's different it's more direct.
I love the way he's such a dick to James but in a semi jokey way it's so funny
"the other brush, James" :))))
Clarkson and Hamster must love that sergeant. Putting Mr. OCD in his place lol
Maybe that's why he became so OCD
“Did you think after 10 years in the army I wouldn’t notice...?” lol
sometimes i think James May is actually immortal. He just ages and ages
2:07 'too small and you'll be there all week, too big and you won't achieve the desired affect'.. got it.
Very good and hilarious to see James being given grief for his slovenly work practices. At school, aged thirteen in 1974, I was taught to use polish using the on and off brushes but we never got them to the ultimate shine demonstrated by the beautiful Buckingham palace shiny state.
Now, aged 60 I only clean shoes with a stiff brush to remove any dried mud and then I cover the leather surface with dubbin and leave it to soak in for as long as possible before brushing it in to get a slightly shiny look, it's all about feeding the leather to stop it drying out.
Completely different technique - brushes are ok for surface sheen, but you'll never get that 'parade' shine without putting the work in with your soft-cloth of choice and thousands of tiny circular applications of polish
Holy shit thoese boots were the shiniest shoes ive ever fucking seen
They were boots; not shoes.
cml1401 Have a cry, he said boots.
It takes at least a week of hard gruesome polishing and brushing and rubbing to make that happen
Polish on polish off slightly damp cloth over finger small circles (but not too small). OK got it.
@Alexander Challis my boots were covered in rough pimply leather as i would describe them, 17 metal studs in the sole and metal curved plate at the front under the toe, horse shoe shape under the heel, studs were counted every working parade. the leather was smoothed out using a hot spoon or the naked flame of a candle the it was spit and polish and water bulling under a running tap. were shinier than patent leather. welts and the instep highly polished. 2 pairs of boots best and working, working heels and toes bulled to the same standard. then Boots DMS came in lol, not as good a sounds for marching as the old leather boots but more comfy to wear.
I love the banter from the Sergeant. :) I grew up around squaddies... the humour is the same no matter what regiment you're in.
Doesn't much matter what army, either! (11yrs US Army)
When I was stationed at RAF Cranwell I was on permanent Honour Guard, being six feet tall, the same as all the others. We were parading as usual at the same time as some officer cadets. Their drill instructor, Queen's Colour Squadron, halted the cadets and turned to one who had screwed up a drill movement. The DI turned round to the cadet and shouted at him, "This course, sir, is designed to separate the men from the boys. You, sir, will not qualify as a bloody foetus." Classis DI humour.
True, about the humour. In fact, the worst thing you can do, in an army, is to have sense of humour failure.
I.e. no longer being able to see the funny side of things, because of how dire you perceive your situation to be.
Counterintuitive, but case studies reveal, time and time again, anything which diminishes initiative (like truly believing you're completely ed) disproportionally disavantages individual units, regardless of the realities of the situation.
Often the reality of the situation is that, if you're not dead yet, you've got more than a fighting chance to get out alive, unless you simply keel over.
@@JVerschueren wow you need help with your grammar mate
Good job I only suck at my 3rd language and don't need help surviving a combat situation,@@philiprj1983.
I like how the background music is Stars and Stripes, U.S.A's national march, while this is a British show with a British soldier.
A lot of the music is the same in both countries. What you will find is the words are different. There’s quite few songs like that. Check out the national anthems of both countries as a good example.
Written by john phillip Sousa. Sousa was the band leader for the United States Marine Corps band. Sousa wrote many marching songs still used today in sport and the military across the globe. In fact his composition the liberty bell is the theme for Monty Pythons flying circus.
0:11 so stand by to stand by. A super funny shoe joke by james may
When I was in the US Army in the 80's, we were still wearing black books day-to-day. Spit-shined was the standard. I can't think of how many hours I've spent with a lap full of leather and Kiwi polish.
PRO TIP: keep a pair of buggered up work boots in your vehicle or motor pool so you don't geek up the nice pair. By 'buggered up' I mean stained and scuffed and won't take a shine anymore, NOT dried and cracked or acid pitted. There is a difference between 'serviceable' and 'inspection-ready'.
Carl Hicks Jr Funny, Carl, I was in the Australiam army reserves back in the mid ‘70s. I found that a ten-day exercise out in the field did wonders for the polishability of my boots. Funny how Kiwi is the favored polish of grunts everywhere.
It has to be KIWI,cherrie blossom won't work.
I love Platoon Sergeant Mark Buckingham, and I've only known he exists for 3 minutes and 35 seconds. It was blokes like 'im what built the British empire, it was. Tough as nails, no nonsense, built like a brick shithouse, and bleedin' heck, shiny parade ground boots. HRH would be proud yes she would.
HRH or HMTQ?
what a BS :)))))
0:29 Oh hey, my shoes are as shiny as that. If that's the standard, I'm not doing too badly...
0:36 oh
Ah, this brings back memories to when I joined the RAF fresh out of school aged 15 years in Sept 1961, to become a Boy Entrant (now abolished), and spent the first 6 months of 18 months of my 12 years service in Nissan huts learning how to 'bull' my boots, learn to sew, and iron shirts and my uniform, and how to make beds, which would be inspected weekly, and if the DI (drill instructor) said you bed is crap, he would throw the lot on the floor,, and the contents of your bedside locker if that was not correct either............looking back, happy days, and no mummy to help me either...:)
Then after that we moved into a brick build building into 30 man rooms. With radiators it was a damn sight warmer in winter, that the coal stove in the middle of the Nissan hut.
Our boots came with sort of 'dimples' in the leather, which we would use a hot iron to get rid of them, and also set fire to the leather a bit. Then came the laborious task of slowing building up the layers of black polish, with brushes and damp rags, and finger polishing as shown, until sometime later our boots were as shiny as the one the Sarge did.
It was laborious work, but a great sense of achievement when finished, and of course the restoration work after they have been marched in, gaining some scuffs...........horror!
Once we had done our 18 months training, which involved shooting .303 rifles on the 25 yard range.....great fun when you are 16 years or so......and then into the real RAF for my first posting.
Use cotton balls dampened with water. And buff with a pair of nylon stockings. You can also do a water shine by holding the shoe under a stream of cold water and polish with cotton balls. And if all else fails - hair spray. And when your spouse finds out you have been using her nylons and hair spray - put on your shoes and leave town.
I’m so going to use the ‘because you’re weak’ line in my day yo day conversation 😂
Really enjoy watching this,not only to pickup hints on polishing,but when he is told ( because your weak ) best laugh !!!!!
I can't believe May demoted a sergeant major
This chap is standard-issue, British Army SNCO - Eternal Quality :)
The PWRR. Such a shame so many of the older regiments and Corps ended up being disbanded or merged.
Damn you Options For Change
They were only formed in 92
PWRR still exist
You can cheat by layering on the polish then use a lighter to burn it off then use a wet cloth to buff it. Looks like you spent hours polishing your boots when the reality is you spent 30 minutes and will pass inspection. Just don't let your sergeant see you doing it.
@Lodogg 3323 or Klear
I had a mate who tried that, they were like glass, but the first time he wore them the polish came off in large flakes, leaving a nice dull surface except for the toe caps.
Squaddie was brilliant, loved it.
We used to put the base wax on first and then use a lighter to melt it into the pores of the leather. Speeds up the process a bit, but otherwise the same with small amounts of polish on a 100% cotton damp t-shirt in small circles until mirror finish.
That method you usually need to be careful, cracks pretty easy if you give it too much in my experience
Thanks, I'm laughing AND learn how to shine my boots!!!
I found the quickest way to get a shine is spread some Kiwi on the toe then burn it with a lighter before polishing the extra layers on, but the shine did end up more prone to cracking.
Remember my army boots. Could have used it as a mirror for shaving.
i prefer a razor
"He can see the Queen of England's face in them." That's very clever of him, since the last Queen of England died in 1714!
3:02 'Cause you're weak. ' Best come back ever.
Could watch May wittering on all day 👍🏼
James May polishing his boots is more entertaining than every current episode of Top Gear.
That guy.... wow
Sgt. Mark Buckingham is the Gordon Ramsay of Boot polishing! 😅
The sergeant just man handled James.
Three and a half minutes of this , priceless , The new Top Gear, is it still on !?
So Rebecca did not own a pair of shiny Kinky boots? Well she does now 😉
Too right
To go in James' dungeon with his carbon fibre shoehorn.
Literally just realised that my polishing kit did doesn't have too many pieces pieces in it... Thank you Mr May for the much needed education.
Because You are weak ....Epic ....I was Black Boot Army 75-79 the recruits today with the rough out brown boots will never know the struggle
James it so eager for two seconds to laugh like hell and tries to stop it.
Now go get your shinebox.
Like mirrors
“Cause your weak” LOL
This Sergeant must need to polish his boots daily, because that water shine ain't gonna last a couple hours, much less a few days. The shine comes from applying friction to the wax. Take the brush you're "removing" the wax with and use it swiftly. Light pressure, with lots of speed, and the resulting friction will heat the wax, producing a shine that will last 3-5 days depending on how much you abuse your shoes.
this is bulling not shining.....big difference
I appreciate the "Stars and Stripes forever" being used as the military music.
"Because you're weak" Genuis! I coughed my spleen out laughing.
Pretty sure he got the regiment wrong , its not the Prince of Wales Royal Regiment ..... It's the Princesses
This brings back memories of being in the cadets. I hated polishing! I hated cadets! Glad I left lol
"Cos you're weak" HAHAHAHAHahahahaha. Poor James 😆😍
Get this dude in schools teaching kids...
James as always a legend but sgt needs to show the kids to get it done... no dramas.. crack on..
I wonder how the Sergeant is now.
Don't ever do what they are doing to a nice pair of shoes. Build up of wax will ruin the expensive leather you paid for. Use a shoe cream and 'some' wax. You can still build up on the hard bits like a toe cap and heal.
Pretty great video, greatest ending.
If its not raining or wet, Use SEAL floor polish, Works in 5 mins. Used to use a lot, But got buggered one day on the square. it rained Bummer.
Im a Flight Corporal in the Royal Canadian Air Cadets and this helped me allot!
I love James May
Couple of points. One initial shine is not remotely enough, minimum of 10. Next put nylon stocking around finger and polish. For regular dress shoes, you can stop. For parade boots, go to wet polishing, genuine cotton wool, not synthetic. Spit or water works. Last polish under a cold running faucet to remove any finger grease. Passing requires Sgt to tell time from his wrist watch in the reflection. 10 hours per boot about right.
The 'Prince of Wales Royal Regiment'? Who checked his script before airing this? It's the 'Princess of Wales Royal Regiment'
Best punchline ever.
James, when are you going to show us how to make a sturdy fleshlight?
''The prince of wales regiment'' I think you mean the princess of wales royal regiment James :D
0:06 why is there a ganesh in the background?
We filmed in a warehouse. It was too big to move
Just like his Rolls Royce:
*_"LORD GANESH, MAKE MY CLIMB AUSPICIOUS"_*
th-cam.com/video/caDuxElh2l0/w-d-xo.html
Wear the boots or shoes through wet grass, get the leather sopping wet, allow to dry to the surface is still well damp, apply Kiwi polish, repolish if needed as the footware dries, then when the boots/shoes are dry, you will get a natural deep sheen with the slightest buffing, with a cloth or even you finger tip. Simples!
the sergeant can polish my boots anytime:-)
10 years in the army? Red arsed sprog. I spent longer in the NAAFI queue.
What happened to Rebecca?
In Germany the socalled 'Wanker' is pronounced 'Wichser'. The original meaning of 'wichsen' is 'to polish', whilst 'Wichse' means the polish itself, the blacking. As you can see with Marks arm, that seems to make a whole lot of sence.
Greetings from the beloved neighbours
....this channel is called Man Lab, so this information is not so unfitting
Yeah but Team in German - Is Mannschaft...which basically means Penis in English.
“Cos you’re weak.” At which point that kid gets a bunch of fives in his chops.
Good imagination you have, that ain't no kid that's a soldier.
What shoeshine box is that yellow and blue case? Perfect for travel I'd like to pick one up.
Lil bit of banter here :P He may have shiny boots and walk with swagger............Top left shirt button :)
GlobbitsGaming STAND STILL 👍🏻
Stand by to stand by
How to make your quality leather boots look like cheap PVC. Perfect for 'fetish night'.
Bulling your boots builds character
James you did ok the sarg boots were not up to my standard he wold be on show parades his ammo boots were scraped on the welts and part of the toe naaaa shxxe order
Indeed It was the discoloration around the welts that concerned me. Its a little disturbing that a professional soldier would consider those boots polished.
should have had a guards division sergeant doing it .best boots in army . ex welsh guards lol.
phil driver I’ve always wondered the same thing why use pwrr to demo what we do.
Or if you want it done properly, get the QCS. 😜
Why you didnt use any of the Guards regts baffles me
0:23 - Royal Army. Why are you playing 'The Stars And Stripes Forever'?
Because they're weak.
Love it! proper polish takes time, but its worth it!
"Cos you're weak" 😂😂😂
“Because your weak” LoL
Broke major rule, beret off indoors.
I dont know about the UK, but in Norway its a different rule if the ceiling is high enough you are allowed to use it indoors, usually isnt though,
Wrong. There is a difference between you may and you have to. Sgt Buckingham was clearly on a public relations operation here on behalf of his regiment and it was proper for him to have his lid on and showing his regimental cap badge. Suffix to say he is technically on duty being on camera and all duty staff should have their lids on. Do staff instructors inspect their recruits inside a barrack with or without their headdresses? Think about it. Find the video on TH-cam where the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards receiving the Brits Award. In that video the Major, the Piper, and the Drummer all had their headdresses on as they received the award INDOOR.
add, "cause you're weak!", after every sentence to crush every recruit and his self confidence in the army.
There are others, MANY others.
Because you're weak.
That line hits harder if you've served or are serving.
AAARRRRggggg!!!...flashbacks...from Oct 1979. Still have my original issued boots that I used for parades. :-)
Polish them Royal Marine style with dark Jacobean varnish. Real soldiers don’t have 10 hours to polish boots.
In my day it was rumoured to be something called straw ack dye, but TBH I never saw any and I hadn't a clue what it was, it was years before I realised it was straw HAT dye, Duh!
Yeah wore the leather surface off. No knightship for you Jimmie Boy!
Stars and Stripes Forever (US composed by John Sousa during the 1800's) on a British show? wtf
That's sad to hear, Liz.
QE II - you may recall that every episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus opened with a nice rendition of Sousa's Liberty Bell March. That would be nearly fifty years ago.......
Ah bulling boots a noble pass time u seem to have done it for many years
"Because you're weak" ... will be my new catch phrase for any slacker staff 😎
They will never know the struggle.........
Bonus tip: Once the polish is on the shoes and before you start buffing, apply a lighter briefly to your boots - As you move the lighter along the surface of your boots, the polish will liquefy, become shiny, and solidify again as it settles into an even layer, and that will make your boots even shinier once you start buffing them.
This is exactly how my dad taught me to polish shoes & he was never in the army.
He sure is a platoon Sgt.
he is my regiment
The Ganesh at the background is interesting.
Those boots aren’t ready for buck. The sole should be as shiny as the boot. Secondly if you polish the boot as they are, they crack as soon as you walk in them.
Why would you need shiny boots to go into war for , does the enemy stop shooting when they see dirty boots
Wet cotton wall balls work a wonder little bit of polish