ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ส.ค. 2024
- Just an update to let you know that I'm no longer pursuing a hysterectomy or metoidioplasty. I just got too stressed out and overwhelmed, and I also feel that neither of the lower surgery options are ideal enough to make me realistically want to go through that huge and scary ordeal.
My written blog, which I mentioned in the video, is at: slotransman.hom...
I'm on a similar wavelength. HRT and top surgery are my limits. Lower surgery is too expensive, too stressful, and for me the results aren't up to par for what I want. Definitely will do a hysto though.
Good, as always pursue the course which is best for you and your own wellbeing. Jesus be with you!!!
vl2 ok who asked?
Oh shit I used to watch your channel years ago when I was like 14/15 lol. I'm 22 now. You popped into my head recently so decided to look for you and I'm amazed how much you've grown
You were one of the first trans guys I found on TH-cam and your experiences helped me a lot through my own transition. Bottom surgery isn't for everyone. It sounds as though you aren't ready to pursue it and you may decide that it isn't for you. That's okay. Take all the time you need.
Thanks for your comment! Yeah, we are all different; there's not just one way to be trans.
Love your videos. FYI I’m a CIS guy and you’ve been super insightful on trans topics. You’re also super handsome!!! 😀
Thank you! :)
Have been hearing about people suffering a lot of very difficult effects like osteoporosis, pain, premature dementia, etc from long-term cross sex hormone and surgical interventions. The medical community owes you the best research and most information possible to make informed choices. Thanks for sharing your experiences and insights
Sounds like you’re really doing the right thing in listening to your body, good for you for listening to that anxiety and thinking about it all so rationally. You’re very thoughtful and rational and reasonable and I really respect that. I’m glad this video randomly popped up in my feed, I think the last time I watched one of your videos was pre-transition. You’re awesome, keep doing you man.
Thanks for your support! :)
That’s great that you no longer have that added stress and decision making process to go through!
this is such an important point of view to bring into the discussion! I feel all I see on youtube is trans guys going through the steps: too surgery, hysto, bottom surgery. But in all actuality, you don't HAVE to do it all and there ARE very severe potential LONGTERM side effects and it IS NOT a cis penis. Bottom surgery is not the last step in a transition, even if it seems like it. You can feel "complete" without it.
Would also recommend Buck Angels channel, he has a similar view on it :)
Thanks, that's validating! Interesting - I'll check out Buck Angel's channel.
@@TheSLOfox y shuld u nt tried for meta i need to do bottom surgery i need ur suggestion pls
But fr me i need bottom surgery hope i ll survive with tat i knew it's not easy but i ll bare my pain
I hav a confusion whether i need to go with meta or phallo.
If u dn hv bottom surgery how could u live with a gal not fr a sex fr a marrg itself i need bottom surgery knw i need marrg i need a gal throught my life so i need marrg fr tat i need bottom surgery
I'm glad you listened to you intuition. Whatever you've done since then, you have yourself time and that's always smart.
Thanks for your update. It sounds like you've made the right decision, given that your uncomfortableness is not as great as some others and the other stresses are so bothersome.
Totally get where you’re coming from. I am almost two years on t and 6 months post top surgery and now it feels like the next step for me is lower surgery. I feel a similar way in that I am incredibly dysphoric (especially when going to the bathroom) but I don’t know if I feel dysphoric enough to warrant all the stress of lower surgery. Great video as always!
Thank you! It's always heartening to know that we aren't the only ones with such feelings and dilemmas. Thanks for sharing about your feelings.
Thanks. As always, I appreciate your candor and articulate exploration of your process. I think we need more conversations about this. My topic this week is around some of the conversations we aren't having...
Thank you! :) Nice to hear from you.
Great to hear from you man. I'm 6 weeks post top but I am re-evaluating how I feel about my downstairs. I've never really had that much dysphoria over it (I tend to just ignore it) however it does feel "wrong". Having said that my chest dysphoria was so much worse before top. I'm exploring new-found avenues with pleasure etc. and everything's working, so for now I'm happy not to pursue any bottom surgery. Whether that'll change I don't know. If it was to change I'd get phalloplasty.
It's a really tough process, deciding whether to go for lower or not. I nearly went for meta then realised I wouldn't have been happy with that, and I'd heard it can be just as complex as phallo so I went for phallo. As you can see on my vlog I've had some complications, and it can be depressing at times. But I also know people who've had less problems. Just occured to me that your scarring issues might make a hookup trickier. That's what I'm struggling with, but it might be okay this time. So I've had complications but I'm still happy with it. It's really pretty good and I have enough sensation to be getting on with, and probably more to come. You're doing the right thing stepping back for a while if it feels too much right now. And with time your body will tell you if it needs more or not. Good luck either way. :-)
Thank you! Yes, I remember that you have had some complications - I'm so sorry about that. But I am so happy for you that you feel good about it overall! That's wonderful. Best wishes for healing and getting over the complications!
I love this video! I don’t mean I love your stress and suffering. I mean that I appreciate how honest you are. We deal with the hand we are dealt as Trans people and have to constantly weigh gain and loss in a way others don’t. Yes I’d LOVE to have a cis male bottom, but I don’t. So the question becomes, how to live the happiest I can.
Thanks! I'm glad you can relate! Yes, at some point all we can do is make the best of what we have and learn how to be as happy as possible.
Hey there, watching your video basically reflects all the thoughts in my head! Although it would have been awesome to be born physically male, I wasn’t and I’m just not willing to go through what you have to go through to end up with what you get. For me, being with partners who love my body just the way it is is very fulfilling and helps me accept myself the way I am. You’re very wise, and very handsome...it’s a bit distracting;)
haha, thank you! I'm glad you can relate! It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels overwhelmed or ambivalent at the prospect of surgery, even though the dysphoria is there. Best wishes!
Thanks for sharing- I always keep an eye out for your updates!
I relate to a lot of this. It's inspiring to hear from someone who has explored the options and listened to how they felt in coming to a decision for now.
Thank you!
Hi Alan, you touched on a topic that I don't really hear too much about in regards to lower surgery. That is that lower surgery has two parts: removal of the parts that are not wanted and addition of parts we feel we should have. For me the removal of breasts, hysterectomy, and vagina was very positive mentally and emotionally. That is more significant for me than anything added on. Cheers.
That's awesome - I'm glad to hear you found those surgeries so helpful.
I always find it helpful to hear your thoughts; thanks for sharing!
I'm glad, thanks!
Hi Allen how are you doing and what’s new ?
Honestly there's not enough information online from people who have had the surgery. How does it feel? How did you decide you wanted the surgery? What was the process? and it's that lack of info that stops me, especially the fear of just having more dysphoria after and not being happy.
Yeah, I also wish there was more info.
I had these concerns and have them PrT and starting it cos I always overhtink and ask for ALL info cos I need the cons and pros before doing anything. Im glad you dont force yourself anywhere
Stress levels can be difficult to deal with and why put yourself through major surgeries when you can manage ok with things. It's not the end of the world especially if you want to avoid stress and possible surgical complications in the future.
Im on the same boat. I've also decided against a hysterectomy and lower surgery because of the potential side effects. I don't think I'd be able to go through with lower surgery specifically until the procedure advances much more. Just a request, could you also make a video on coping with like hairloss after starting T? I've been on it since 2017 and, of course, genetically I knew I might lose my hair but I haven't been able to come to terms with losing the one part of myself I loved (my thick, full, healthy hair) even when I was pre-T and pre-top and hated everything else about myself.
Thanks for your comment. So sorry I took forever to reply. Sure, I will consider making a video where I talk more about hair loss.
Few days ago I watch a video of a FTM literaly saying “well if I have to go for phalloplasty I will do it”. English is not my first language. So I listen to him again and again to make sure I heard what I heard. So what is going on with some transmen over sea? I can understand dysphoria but, making an organ that doesn’t exist is so difficult...If we never have it in the first place, how can we miss it? Isn’t it just a fantasy? Do you really feel better after that? There are always complications with such a huge surgery. Don’t mis understand me. I don’t juge. I just wonder.
I perfectly understand your stress.
I don't know if or how a phalloplasty would work like a real penis. Like how would an erection work? Or any sexual stimulation from that.
Are You good now? we miss ya
Thanks! yes, I'm doing well! Perhaps you may have seen my recent update video. Thank you for watching!
Hey you are an amazing inspiration.
Idk if this is the right video to comment this but you remember me so much of(? is of the right word? I am not as good as I thought I am in english) Micheal Fassbender!
I think I would reason the same way as you do here.
Hey I’ve been following you since before I started transition. I liked following you because I felt like we both had similar experiences as butch women. I’m glad to hear you didn’t go through with it. It may sound odd but I have thought about you over the last couple months because I have decided to detransition. So much of what I thought could be resolved through transition was not. I also came very close to Hysto and lower Surgery but didn’t do it because at the time I was not confident in the health care system. I’m glad I didn’t because now I am able to begin my journey back to reconciliation with my female body and what it means to be a woman. I feel for all my sister who have gone down this path of transition because I know your pain, I know the searching and the struggles. I know now that the only thing that makes me a woman is that I am a human female. It doesn’t matter who I love or how I dress. It doesn’t matter how I walk , talk or the things I like to do. I have found a sense of peace finally, through managing my depression and anxiety with medication and working with a good therapist on my hate for my body and all that encompasses. I truly wish you all the best and I want you and everyone else to know that there is more then one way to deal with what is called dysphoria. We don’t have to hurt our bodies to save our souls. Much love to you
Bravo! Grass is not greener on the other side. And yes our souls are worth saving
So good to hear these voices besides the gender-ideology about innate masculinity or femininity. There is no such thing as a gendered self. Each of us is born in/as a certain biological organization including different sexes, but we don't feel, identify etc. with that biological organization. The gender-narrative continuously loads the body with social constructions. The desire to be somebody else, even a different body, is induced by the social machinery of assigning value or non-value to individuals, depending on their subordination to norms ruling behavioral and even emotional expressions. The process of coming to peace with oneself is a process of realization of the connections between one's seemingly deepest inner feelings including anxiety and dysphoria and the social dynamics of approval and disapproval. To be an autonomous subject cannot include having to change what you are (which to my opinion is a deeply inhuman demand), but to change how you think.
@@kalperapap It's not what we are, it's what we do. I am 3 years on t awaiting top surgery this summer, and to be true to myself and to acknowledge all therapy and hormones have done for me. It may not seem I have a choice, but I do. I just choose to treat my dysphoria, it doesn't change who I am at all.
Good for you that you realized you aren't trans, and true it doesn't matter how you dress since you can be a masculine woman, but being masculine is not a real reason to transition. A lot of butch women are confused and think they're trans just because they're masculine, but you can't project your feelings on trans people that transition out of body dysphoria.
seb oh yes the whole “you weren’t really trans argument “ . By the vague definition that trans community seems to go by I was trans. By the dsm definition I was trans. By your definition of body dysphoria I am still trans. Maybe I wasn’t very clear in my comment, but my piont is that there is more then one way to deal with feelings that your body is wrong or that you are the opposite sex. Someone asked this question and I think it’s one we should all really think about. “What does it feel like to be a man or a woman? How do you know you feel like a man when you are not one? “ I would add, what makes a man or a woman? If it’s just a feeling that’s some pretty shaky ground to base this idea of transitioning on. Had these question been asked of me by say, a therapist, it might have started the ball rolling to getting down to the real reasons I felt like I was a man. Maybe some people for some reason just have to transition but from what I have seen and heard and experienced most of this boils down to gender stereotypes getting conflated with biological sex and people with trauma and mental health issues finding the transgender idea a simple answer to layers of complex problems.
💯💯💯💯
Hi, handsome! Would you ever date a post op trans woman?
Hi! Yes, I am open to dating anyone that I feel a connection with and attraction to; I don't automatically rule anyone out because of gender status or aspects of their body.