Baby Reindeer and The Problem of Trauma

In this video I talk about the Netflix series Baby Reindeer, and the implications it has regarding the concept of trauma.
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[@samwich9242]

Man, this show hit me like a truck when I first watched it a few weeks ago. Similar things once happened to me an extremely long time ago and this show actually gave me the impulse to talk with my therapist about all of that; it's been very fruitful so far actually. As people we are doomed to be an inexorable mixture of the things that happen to us and the things we do; everything deserves its place in the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, and integrating everything, and I mean everything, that has happened to us into our personal life story can be very calming and settling if we push through the pain of facing the past head on.

[@BigDome1]

Very thought-provoking comment, thanks for sharing. I've heard that male reporting of SA has gone up massively since the show aired. Certainly a very powerful and unforgettable show, one of the best ever made in my opinion.

[@Zekrom569]

I think sometimes people can hesitate to hold someone accountable because they had trauma and even minimise their harmful actions, for me many criminals instead of prison should be getting treatment, but punishment is baked into the fabric of society as "reform" to harmful behaviors which i believe doesnt help, doesnt keep a person accountable to their actions and it might keep a person into a destructive pattern of behavior because now they know what is jail like and they will not be as afraid as first time and as hesitant to commit a crime.
So in short i believe that people should be kept accountable for their actions even if it is result of trauma but we need to rethink how the justice system works and programs that actually reform criminals.

[@BigDome1]

It's a very difficult balancing act I think. I think I have a bit of an uneven/inconsistent view on it. Sometimes I want to see harsher punishments for people that terrorise others and make their lives hell, but then at other times I feel like the prison system is unnecessarily brutal to people who often have mental problems etc. I still don't really know how I feel about it. I think it's something that will always be difficult to some degree, no matter how enlightened we become. It's up there with the toughest problems we face as a society.

[@yungmentalproblems]

Its emotionally based on a true story whatever that means

[@wilfred8724]

How much of his repressed memories would have never come to the fore had he never met Martha I wonder…
She obviously played a crucial role in helping Donnie uncover these memories. I mean six years in the cooler for pressing someone seems a bit harsh. Especially when considering that the real villain in the series is still on the loose. I wished the story would have unraveled long enough to know how or what led Darrien to become a reaper. Maybe he can piggyback off of this series and kick off his own nflx series and further the conversation.

[@BigDome1]

I think, in their understandable demonisation of Darrien, people are somewhat downplaying the seriousness of what Martha and her ilk do. To be stalked is an utterly terrible thing that infects every moment of your life with a feeling of fear and a complete lack of privacy. She's certainly a more likeable character than Darrien, but at the end of the day to terrorise someone (and their friends and family) like that is just awful. I think some people who've been through both experiences would probably say the assault was less difficult than the stalking, honestly. It's a thing that most of us are fortunate enough not to go through.

[@bpowerpheonix]

Triggwr warning im halfwat through the video yet but for me the show was very traumatizing. I had something happen similar to the LSD experience i was did that same drug but was given a laced or stronger dose and then my ex person i was talking to (diagnosed with ASPD and a history of hurting others) (im 90% sure she was sober or unaffected it was very systematic) and tried to control my mind, gaslight me about the room we were in the parking lot outside the temperature the lights then trying to gaslight me about myself emotionally and psychologically torture me for hours, i remember fighting for consiousness and strength against the drug but when i would have moments of clarity she would physically hurt me to take me back into a state she was in control off, she destroyed the entire apartment and my shrine to my ancestors, threatened to kill our dogs kill herself and that she wanted to kill me or wanted to make it that i would kill myself, crushed her phone biting it on her mouth til she was bleeding she did that in my face, turned the breaker off and said we were in hell, and many horrific details that id prefer not to traumatize others with in terms of the deliberate torture ,escaped somehow naked underneath a robe its been three ish years now and i JUST started asking questions to law enforcement about what could galopent of i move forests I had also been only dating women for years up until that point but after she did that too me I've only dated twice since and both were men. I had pretty severe BPD before and all the work i did on myself was DESTROYED after that experience. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this :( just to watch this show and idk. But it changed me in many ways. Im jealous and inspired he got to share his story. Im glad to know im not alone i searched for months after about other people abused and manipulated tortured on LSD and could barely find anything the most solace i got was from posting in a reddit thread. If anyone has read this far and has anything i can read or even a similar experience or some knowledge about this please comment. Im always on the search i literally cannot have mental health services I've put in years of research in always trying to learn.

[@BigDome1]

Hey, thanks for sharing all that. It sounds like a really awful and confusing experience. Even a "normal" acid trip can be really scary, so to have had one where someone was terrorising and bullying you must have been very bad.
I think by talking about it you're going some way towards processing it, and I think and hope that with time it will become an easier experience to digest.
There are a lot of great options available to us these days in terms of coping with trauma or mitigating stress. I'm not very disciplined about sticking to them but I think things like meditation, exercise, yoga, being in nature etc can all help a lot. And of course trying to maintain as much positivity as possible, that's the thing that really helps me. Trying to force myself to take positives from everything, even when it's really difficult to do so. I don't know what the right way for you is but I hope that you find it.

[@wilfred8724]

Gathering from people’s responses makes me hesitant to actually see it. But glimpses of it from what I seen from it makes me curious. Like the part when in their drug binge episode D gaslighted R about how the very loud music bothering R is actually off but it really wasn’t. Or the more intense scene when after the fact, R takes a shower only to realize the damage done physically and to see the breakdown of man as disturbing as it is, may benefit the people that watch it. Even if at the risk of exposing suppressed memories?

[@BigDome1]

I think it's definitely worth a watch unless you're super uncomfortable with that kind of stuff. But if you've already seen a lot of scenes from it then the impact might be lost somewhat. It's very disturbing but quite brilliantly made.

[@wilfred8724]

It must have been quite harrowing for him to relive these incidents.

[@BigDome1]

@@wilfred8724 yeah, it definitely seemed that way whilst watching it. It was pretty shocking to watch in that regard.

[@adrianriley1939]

Please let me know if there are any other platforms I can reach out to you on. They always delete my comments. Maybe I ma shadow banned or something. Hella frustrating. Anyways, great content man! Peace

[@BigDome1]

Yeah try [e-mail]